This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Buenos dias. Esta es mi primera lectura de Dharma en Español. Me llamo Zenshin Greg Fane. Zenshin es mi nombre de Dharma. Está en japonés, por supuesto. En español significa corazón entero. Corazón entero. Qué lindo. Quisiera comenzar agradeciendo a mi maestro, Sojourn Mel Weitzman. El abad del Centro Zen de Berkeley. El viejo Buda.

[01:03]

El viejo Buda de la Bahía Este. Mi práctica principal es la gratitud. Comienza con gratitud y termina con gratitud. Esta charla es solo para animarte en tu práctica. Por favor, perdonen mi pobre español. Me gusta el español y estoy tratando de aprenderlo. Luego de los pueblos indígenas, por supuesto, luego de los pueblos indígenas, es la primera lengua de California. Sí. Así que entonces, San Francisco, Los Ángeles, San Diego, etc., etc. Y, por favor, si no pueden entender nada de esto, Tengan paciencia. Repetiré todo en inglés en un momento. Lo prometo.

[02:05]

En realidad, mi charla es sobre escuchar. ¿Cómo podemos escuchar como Canseón, el observador de los gritos del mundo? Tengo un mantra. Un mantra nuevo para mí. Mi nuevo mantra es, escucha el dolor. Primero, escucha el dolor. Good morning. That was my first Dharma talk in Spanish. My name is Zenshin Greg Fane. Gracias. Gracias. My name is Zenshin Greg Fane. Zenshin is my Dharma name. It is in Japanese, of course. In English, it means whole heart. How nice. I would like to begin by acknowledging and thanking my teacher, Sojin Mel Weitzman, the abbot of Berkeley Zen Center, the old Buddha, the old Buddha of the East Bay.

[03:12]

My primary practice is gratitude. It starts with gratitude and it ends with gratitude. This talk is just to encourage you in your practice. Please forgive my poor Spanish. I like Spanish and I'm trying to learn it. After the indigenous peoples, it is the first language of California. And please, if you can't understand any of this, have patience. I will repeat the entire thing in English in a moment. I promise. Actually, my talk is about listening. How can we listen like Kanzayon, the Regarder of the Cries of the World? I have a mantra, a new mantra for me. My new mantra is, listen to the pain. Listen to the pain first. So, how do we listen as or like Kansayam, the Bodhisattva of infinite compassion? How do we foster communication and connection?

[04:20]

true communication, and true connection. This has been up for me for quite a while. And to be honest, I think this talk, as I've been thinking about this talk and maybe overthinking this talk, I probably won't be talking directly about listening so much in this talk, but rather very inspired by Ashiso Lori to talk about healing and connection. And I will introduce a koan that I feel addresses this, for me anyway. We'll see what you think.

[05:22]

Also, just a heads up, I may make a couple of broad assertions in this talk. Okay? So, you know, that might happen. And if so, you can just be like the dude and say, well, that's like just your opinion, man. Right? Or Sid Zazen. And anyone whose name I mention, henceforth, I already got their permission to bring their name up in this talk. Just FYI. So, much earlier this practice period, Jess asked me about a koan, a very famous koan, in the Mumunkon. The gateless barrier is how it's translated here.

[06:25]

This is a publisher's proof of Robert Aitken Roshi's translation of the Mumankan with his commentaries. It was given to me by Dali Gatozzi, our mutual friend. Yeah, isn't that wild? So, Jess asked me about this koan, famous koan, case number 35. in the Mumongkang. And the koan itself, the case itself, is very short. Here it is. Wutsu asked a monk, the woman qian and her spirit separated. Which is the true qian? So I hear some people going, oh, yeah. It's a very famous koan. And you've heard Dharma talks about this. Maybe a lot of you have heard Dharma talks about this koan before. I think so. Very famous, very well known.

[07:27]

In Japanese, it would be Seijo sometimes. Seijo and her soul are separated. So, the koan itself is very short. And what or who is this teacher, Wutsu, who I never heard of, talking about. Well, it's a very famous, I think well-known Chinese folk tale. And in the spirit of Halloween, yesterday was Halloween, it's kind of a ghost story. So in order to talk about the koan, you have to know the story. And I do enjoy reading a nice story. and I hope you enjoy hearing it. So, here is the story. There lived in Hanyang a man called Chang Qian, whose child daughter, Qian, was of peerless beauty.

[08:35]

He had also a nephew called Wang Zhao, a very handsome boy. The children played together and were fond of each other. Once, Qian jestingly said to his nephew, Someday I will marry you to my little daughter. Both children remembered these words, and they believed themselves thus betrothed. When Qian grew up, a man of rank asked for her in marriage, and her father decided to comply with the demand. Qian was greatly troubled by this decision. As for Zhao... He was so much angered and grieved that he resolved to leave home and go to another province. The next day he got a boat ready for his journey, and after sunset, without bidding farewell to anyone, he proceeded up the river. But in the middle of the night he was startled by a voice calling to him, Wait, it is I! And he saw a girl running along the bank toward the boat.

[09:37]

It was Qian. Chao was unspeakably delighted. She sprang into the boat, and the lovers found their way safely to the province of Zhe. In the province of Zhe, they lived happily for six years, and they had two children. But Qian could not forget her parents, and often longed to see them again. At last she said to her husband, Because in former times I could not bear to break the promise made to you, I ran away with you and forsook my parents, although knowing that I owed them all possible duty and affection. Would it not now be well to try to obtain their forgiveness? Do not grieve yourself about that, said Zhao. We shall go to see them. He ordered a boat to be prepared, and a few days later he returned with his wife to Hanyang. According to custom in such cases, the husband first went to the house of Qian.

[10:40]

leaving Qian alone in the boat. Qian welcomed his nephew with every sign of joy and said, How much I have been longing to see you! I was often afraid that something had happened to you. Chao answered respectfully, I am distressed by the undeserved kindness of your words. It is to beg your forgiveness that I have come. But Qian did not seem to understand, he asked. To what matter do you refer? I feared, said Zhao, that you were angry with me for having run away with Qian. I took her with me to the province of Che. What Qian was that? asked Qian. Your daughter Qian, answered Zhao, beginning to suspect her father-in-law of some malevolent design. What are you talking about? cried Qian with every appearance of astonishment. My daughter Qian has been sick in bed all these years, ever since the time when you went away. Your daughter, Qian, returned Chao, becoming angry, has not been sick.

[11:45]

She has been my wife for six years, and we have two children, and we have both returned to this place only to seek your pardon. Therefore, please do not mock us. For a moment, the two looked at each other in silence. Then Qian arose and, motioning to his nephew to follow, led the way to an inner room where a sick girl was lying. And Chao said, to his utter amazement, saw the face of Qian, beautiful but strangely thin and pale. She cannot speak, explained the old man, but she can understand. And Qian said to her laughingly, Zhao tells me that you ran away with him and that you gave him two children. The sick girl looked at Zhao and smiled, but remained silent. Now come with me to the river, said the bewildered visitor to his father-in-law, for I can assure you, in spite of what I have seen in this house, that your daughter Qian is at this moment in my boat.

[12:48]

They went to the river, and there indeed was the young wife waiting. And seeing her father, she bowed down before him and besought his pardon. Qian said to her, If you really be my daughter, I have nothing but love for you. Yet though you seem to be my daughter, there is something which I cannot understand. Come with us to the house. So the three proceeded toward the house. As they neared it, they saw that the sick girl, who had not before left her bed for years, was coming to meet them, smiling as if much delighted. And the two chans approached each other. But then nobody could ever tell how. They suddenly melted into each other. and became one body, one person, one Qian, even more beautiful than before, and showing no sign of sickness or of sorrow. Qian said to Chao, Ever since the day of your going, my daughter was dumb, and most of the time like a person who had taken too much wine.

[13:53]

Now I know that her spirit was absent. Qian herself said, Really, I never knew that I was at home. I saw Chao going away in silent anger. In the same night, I dreamed that I ran after his boat. But now I cannot tell which was really I, the I that went away in the boat or the I that stayed at home. So now you know the story, which is the true qian. So anyway... Jess and I went to the library and we looked this up and we had a nice conversation about it. And I think there's a lot of ways of working with this koan. As I said, I've heard people talk about this koan before. I mean, which is the true qian?

[14:57]

Duh. It's not the true qian until... The two meet and merge. That's the true qian. It's not one or the other. It isn't until they come together that we see the true qian. I think perhaps some of the popularity of this koan among modern dharma teachers is that it can be approached or understood from a psychological perspective, like being a whole person. being a well-integrated person, well-integrated personality. I was telling Fu about the cartoon my sister had on her refrigerator for the longest time. This cartoon, even like she moved, she had a different refrigerator. The cartoon showed up on her new refrigerator again. Very simple. It's just a guy talking on a phone, a man talking on a telephone.

[16:02]

And the caption says, I'm not really like this. That's how we are. That's what we do. And how can we be the one qian? It's a common way of understanding or relating to this koan. Among others, As I said, I see it as about connection and healing. The word healing and wholeness come from the same root. To be healed is to be made whole, to come together, to be made whole, the whole qian. And... So we don't do, you know, the Mumankan is in Rinzai school, this is it.

[17:08]

They work through these koans one by one. We don't do that so much in this tradition, the Soto Zen tradition. Working with koans can be very illustrative. And so, because Jess asked me about this koan, then it was kind of like, started going, started going along. And I feel like working with the koan, you know, you can be kind of like a wine taster. I get the wine, you know, work it from one side of the mouth to the other. What's the real flavor, you know? What are the different notes? What's going on with this? You know, really just like experience it completely. So... was doing that sort of and you know metaphorically speaking I was like mm-hmm to me bitter taste this is really sexist yeah and I never heard anybody talking about that before the story is like you know like the ultimate scene that the climax of the story is

[18:31]

is the two men coming together and sorting things out while half of Qian is laying in bed helpless and dumb, and the other half of Qian is waiting in the boat with the kids, also not saying anything, while the two men are sorting things out. What's keeping Qian and her soul separated? Men. it says something to me about male hegemony and male dominance. And it's interesting to me. I never heard anybody talk about it in that regard or bring that up before. Patriarchal culture, you know. So I had a second conversation with Jess about the koan. And I brought that up.

[19:33]

And right away, Jess says, yeah, of course she has to be beautiful. Of course, Jan is beautiful. She has to be, you know. And she said, Jess said, I'm just waiting for the glass slipper to show up. Where's the glass slipper? Right? Then I started thinking about and turning this koan over, kind of trying to bring a different perspective to it. Thinking about what's going on in our community and what's going on in

[20:35]

You know, the last book club that I participated in, we read Awakening Together by Larry Yang. Really great book. Really great book. And Larry Yang talks about creating joyful communities. It is not about, I mean, it's in the title, awakening together. It's about community. So, I think there is a movement, perhaps, perhaps, this is not the big assertion, by the way. But perhaps, there's a movement away from individualism. sort of Western emphasis on individualism.

[21:38]

I remember Xanjoo Earthling Manuel saying when she hears people talking about my practice and my understanding and my enlightenment, et cetera, et cetera, she feels like the wheel of the Dharma has gone flat. It's one-sided. So awakening together from a community perspective is thought about something Joe said in the second meeting we had about the communication agreements in study hall. She said, and Joe, feel free to correct me if I get this wrong. I'm just saying what I heard, how I heard it was, she said something about this past summer, when all these groups, these study groups, looking at undoing whiteness, looking at undoing patriarchy, looking at learning to be an anti-racist, et cetera, they're springing up, and that she heard some people, I don't know, maybe grumbling, I don't know,

[23:06]

Anyway, some people expressing an opinion that this isn't what they came to Tassajara for. This isn't... That's not the Buddha Dharma that I came to Tassajara for. Why should we be looking at that? And Joe said, but that's what's showing up. That's what's happening. And I said... I try to make it a practice when I notice I want to say, that's right. What I really mean is, sometimes I'll say it out loud, I agree. I agree. I agree with that. What's showing up is Buddha Dharma and nothing else. What's coming forward is Buddha Dharma and nothing else. Study that. Yeah. It's not like, you know... practice is over here and some other thing is over here. Because you know what? Then you're like Qian and her soul.

[24:09]

I think so. So I rewrote the story. Qian runs away with her lover. Liberation. Qian runs away with her lover. Vital, dynamic practice. Creative practice. Practice that knows how to hold the silence and also knows how to make room for the expression of strong emotions. A live practice dedicated always to the liberation of all beings.

[25:15]

She runs away with her lover and they go up the river. And they start a family. They have a darling cute little girl baby and they name her learning to be an anti-racist Sweetie Cutie Pie. And they have the cutest, cutest, cutest little boy baby, and they name him Undoing Patriarchy Sweetie Cutie Pie. And they have the preciousest, sweetest little genderqueer baby, And they named them Joyful Trans Equality Sweetie Cutie Pie. In my version, they have three kids.

[26:20]

Also in my version, they all have the word Sweetie Cutie Pie in their names. Because I got a cartoon mind. And they're a happy family. Happy family. And then Qian gets homesick. Qian is homesick. And she wants to go back to her ancestral home. Back to her ancestral home. And they go back to the province of their birth. where they find the three baskets, the lineage of Buddhas and ancestors, the schedule and the shingi, forums and ceremonies, beautiful but strangely thin and pale.

[27:32]

in joyful community. That was actually my experience at the Soto Zen Buddhist Association Conference that Linda and I and others, many people, went to last September. Actually, it was just like that. It was just like that. Vital, alive, wrestling with thorny questions, not being afraid to look at the hurt places and listening to the pain, listening to the pain. So then, kind of like doing meta-practice, I started thinking of this koan, the pain of separation from a much broader perspective, maybe the broadest perspective, I don't know, global.

[29:25]

For the first time in my life of practice at Tazahara, I'm actually pretty grateful that we are at least somewhat buffered from the news cycle at Tazahara. I never thought I would hear myself say that. Actually, it's not even a news cycle, it's just a barrage. It's just this continuous barrage of terribleness, one thing after another. So there's a lot of noise. There's a lot of difficulty for me. I experience a lot of difficulty with what you might call a signal-to-noise ratio. But there's something that I want to bring up. I don't know why this isn't what we're talking about all the time, except that There's the latest thing.

[30:30]

There's the latest outrage, the latest shooting, the latest reason for memorial service. So this is from, yes, this is the New Yorker, the October 22nd issue. Staff writer Elizabeth Colbert, she writes, the Paris Agreement calls for holding warming below two degrees. while pursuing efforts to limit it to 1.5 degrees. Last week, the United Nations Scientific Advisory Board delivered its assessment of those numbers. The findings of the group, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, were almost universally and justifiably described as dire. Even 1.5 degrees worth of warming, the IPCC warned, is likely to be disastrous with consequences that include but are not limited to the loss of most of the world's coral reefs, the displacement of millions of people by sea level rise, and a decline in global crop yields.

[31:37]

Meanwhile, at the current rate of emissions, the world will have run through the so-called carbon budget for 1.5 degrees within the next decade or so. Twelve years is a number I hear thrown around a lot. It's like a deafening, piercing smoke alarm going off in the kitchen. Eric Solheim, the executive director of the UN Environment Program, told the Washington Post. So, to me, this is the ultimate separation. The ultimate separation. Humanity separation from the natural world. How did we get here? I'm thinking to myself. So, when I was a kid, like at the ages of 8, 9, 10, 11, I read so much.

[32:42]

I discovered reading and I just read everything I could get my hands on. My parents really encouraged it. And if I didn't understand a word, they would... say they would never explain anything to me. They said, look it up. That's what we got those dictionaries for. Look up the word. So I read all kinds of stuff. How this, what I'm about to read to you, I remember from so long ago. How, as a little boy, did I get my hands on a copy of Sir Walter Raleigh's Sir Walter Raleigh's a diary of his voyage to Guyana. I have no idea. But this one thing made a huge impression on me. And here it is. This is Sir Walter Raleigh, in case you don't know, was a famous pirate. Because he was Queen Elizabeth's pirate, he was knighted.

[33:46]

He had royal patronage. Until he didn't, and then he was beheaded. Because he who writes the tiger cannot dismount. But Sir Walter Raleigh in 1595, these are his words. Guiana, when he writes about Guiana, he means... the north coast of Venezuela, the Caribbean coast of Venezuela, the northern edge of South American continent, sailing along there, looking at the beautiful green, the Bosque Mediano, coming down to the ocean. His impression, Guiana, this is Sir Walter Raleigh, Guiana is a country that hath yet her maidenhead, never sacked, turned, nor wrought, It hath never been entered by any army of strength and never conquered or possessed by any prince.

[34:52]

That's how he was thinking of it. And that's how men, European men, have been thinking and operating for centuries. That's 1595. I think so. So this is my Big assertion. I'll give it to you in Spanish. La cultura del consumidor es cultura de violación. Consumer culture is rape culture. Just putting it out there. This is the pain. Getting past the signal-to-noise ratio.

[35:55]

Listening to the pain. Listening to the pain first. Listening as comes a young. Everyone's... Yeah, we got each other. You're wrong. No, you're wrong. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. I know what's right. No, I know what's right. Nobody's listening. The chapter on Avalokiteshvara in the Lotus Sutra, chapter 25, if memory serves, is called the Universal Gate of Avalokiteshvara, Universal Gate of Kanzayon, and for short, in Japanese, Fu-mong, Universal Gate. This means everyone comes through. Everyone can come through. Kanzeon invites everyone.

[36:58]

Kanzeon listens to the cries of the world in every language in the world. And here's my second broad assertion. We have to heal. It's not like... I'm not saying... we have to do this because this is a good idea or the right thing to do. I mean, literally, there's no other option. I mean, there just simply isn't any other option. Destruction may go on. Glaciers don't have any opinions about climate change. They just melt. Hurricanes and Wildfires and famine and country tilting toward fascism, artificial intelligence. Who knows what?

[38:01]

Nobody knows. But none of that's sustainable. After the hurricane, people are going to pick up the pieces. People are going to plant crops again. We have to. To go through Kansayon's universal gate, I think we need to listen. We need to listen to each other. need to listen with humility and vulnerability, cultural humility.

[39:02]

Vulnerability now, my gosh, I'm almost done. I want to finish with something about vulnerability that I heard from my friend Allison Tate. I was talking with Allison, and it struck me very deeply. It went right in. So I asked her if I could talk about this in today's talk. And she said, sure. And I said, well, while I'm at it, would you mind writing it down so I make sure I get it right? And she very kindly wrote it down for me. So I'm just going to read you Allison's words. To me, this could be like a 21st century Zen story. The kind of teaching story we have where a senior teacher and a not-so-senior monk are talking.

[40:10]

That's what's happening in this story. Okay? Allison says, I was having lunch with A. Robin Ordon the day before Jordan died. We were talking about Jordan's cancer and Steve's and how shocking it all was. A. Robbins said something like, It shouldn't be such a surprise. I've learned by now that really anything can happen to anyone. That struck me as a very profound insight, which I hadn't yet accepted. I reflected that I'd recently heard more than one Dharma teacher and more than one therapist say, extol the virtues of vulnerability and the courage required to be vulnerable. I said to A. Robin, I don't think that I actually have a choice in whether or not to be vulnerable. When anything can really happen to anyone, that means that I just am vulnerable.

[41:13]

My only real choice is whether I lie about my vulnerability to others or to myself. And then we hugged and finished our lunch and went fabric shopping at Stone Mountain and Daughter. Yeah. You know, we just are vulnerable. We're so vulnerable. Maybe we should just stop trying to kid ourselves about it. Well, I don't know what to make of all that mess. I've been talking for a long time, so I think I better stop. But thanks, thanks, I guess, for coming along for the ride or the walk, meandering along El Camino, Tassajara.

[42:21]

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