This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Thank you for coming this morning, for going all those wonderful bargains. It would, of course, have fulfilled all your desires, known and unknown. It's your, it seems, there's little vignettes, little video vignettes of people frantically

[01:08]

clawing over something. I saw one yesterday in a mall somewhere out there. These towels were flying up into the air with a feverish involvement. trying to get something. So thank you for foregoing that and coming here. Or indeed you could say, we relish nothing. As Wallace Stevens said, nothing that is not here and the nothing that is here. But I'll get back to that.

[02:09]

Michael and I were kidding this morning that maybe we should have a discount this morning in keeping with this wonderful weekend. Michael suggested that we discount enlightenment. At Zen Center, we have this quote from Suzuki Roshi, you're perfect just as you are, and you could use a little improvement. And we thought, for this weekend, we'll drop the second part. And then I thought, maybe we could discount the Bodhisattva vow. The Bodhisattva vow says, I vow to awaken with all beings. You can get a 25% discount. Except them. And that particular person when they're in that mood.

[03:10]

I'm not blind to save them. Yeah. Or maybe we'll just offer you a door prize as you leave. This beautiful, soft, wet day. with a blanket of gray clouds, sort of holding it in place. Often it occurs to me when the clouds are like this, it's like it's quieter. You know, like when things are blanketed with snow, it's sort of, something shifts. this month of November, elections, Thanksgiving, and now the wonders of Black Friday weekend.

[04:23]

I think it's in my consciousness because I seem to be somehow getting endless emails about all the bargains I'm missing, you know. how in between, you know, the elections and shopping, we have thanksgiving and giving thanks. And I was pondering on, what is it to give thanks? When does it... When are we inspired? You know, when is there... When has a quickening taken place in our lives that we, that gratitude arises? Can you cultivate it?

[05:30]

Can you intend it? Can you have a deliberate relationship to it? like being inspired. Can you intend to be inspired? Can you learn something about yourself that puts you in the territory, puts you close to what it is that touches your heart and opens your mind? What is it that does that? And somehow it made me think of the word resolve.

[06:32]

Some resolution happens in the world. And I think of the election, the presidential election. in case you were thinking of some other election. How I had hopes and expectations of a certain result, and it wasn't what I was expecting. And it didn't feel resolved. It felt something else, something was amiss, something was out of balance. Something was not connecting the way I wished or hoped. And what do I do with that sort of experience?

[07:34]

What do we do with that sort of experience? How do we discover resolution? And how do we discover resolve? that inner workings, the inner equation that we create for ourselves, known and unknown, around happiness, around contentment, around appreciation for what is. You know, in a way, Zen practice has almost a fierceness to it, and maybe not even an almost. It is, the moment is what it is. You can have all sorts of responses you wish. Go for it. But it still is what it is. Sometimes you're delighted, sometimes you're dismayed.

[08:36]

And still, it is what it is. And can that, in the midst of your own very particular subjective response, can that be accepted? Can that be accepted as the gift of life in this particular moment? And can even that broaden to include our disappointment, our discontent? our wish that it had turned out different. Or maybe even our disapproval. The center of our practice being the moment has that kind of resolve.

[09:42]

This is what it is. And when we get close to it, there's a liberation and a fullness. And then something in us knows that that's what supports a human life, and then we search in our world for how to create it, how to discover it. internally in our own psychological, emotional being, materially, you know. As I was watching that video vignette of, you know, they show two clips. The first clip was somewhere. They had $100 TVs, you know, and there was a mob of people around them, Jessalyn,

[10:45]

to get at them. And the box was being ripped to threads. And I was thinking, okay, I'm not that interested in a hundred dollar TV, but where does that come up in me? It's a very interesting thing to do. There's this slogan, in Tibetan Buddhism. And it says, take responsibility for everything. That's me frantically ripping that TV box. Except I don't do it with a TV box. I do it in my own particular way and in my own particular environment. And of course, in one way, that sounds like an absolutely awful thing to do to ourselves.

[11:53]

It sounds like, wasn't that the kind of antithesis of appreciation and gratitude? But I would say more that it offers us the resolution of not creating self and other and a great chasm between that it turns us, it lets our compassion and forgiveness turn our human condition into something that connects us rather than something that divides us. That way that we can vilify other in terms of our own salvation. or virtue. There's something in holding that as a human trait.

[12:57]

And then we find within ourselves, oh, and how does that grasping take place? And then, of course, the challenge for us is to not turn it into some kind of vicious self-criticism, but to hold it with reverence and appreciation for what it is to be alive. What we're doing is we're cultivating the capacity to hold all that a human life creates. And when we translate it out into the material world, even there, we're looking for awakening, whether it's on a discount special or whether it's on a fierce demand of just this is it. And we can see the outer and the inner.

[14:07]

We can see it can turn out and make demands of the world, and it can turn in and make demands of our own inner experience. And we can watch inside of ourselves when we have something that's bothering us, and our thoughts replay it, and our emotions add a chorus to something. the thoughts and concepts and memories and images. And how internally, psychologically, we're searching for resolution.

[15:09]

And often the resolution is... that other should change. And then we turn it around and then I should change. What if the interplay between self and other needs to be held for what it is? Another slogan from Tibetan Buddhism. May you have enough suffering that it quickens and supports your awakening. Maybe we could add and not a drop more. Just enough.

[16:19]

Fortunately, that's doesn't seem to be in this human world a request or a demand you can make. But still, it's an interesting recalibration. It's an interesting way where we can turn towards the human condition. And hopefully learn something about settling within what is to discover how to relate. How do we create resolution in an imperfect world, in an imperfect self, in an imperfect relatedness? And then discover, resolve. like something in us knows that it's absurd to say, I will have a beneficial attitude towards 75% of people.

[17:36]

We just know that that's farcical. It doesn't hold true to the interconnection of our lives. but to appraise ourselves of this human condition. And then to enter the world that will teach us by offering us opportunities, by displaying to us just how it is, and offering to us the opportunity to learn. And I want to read a poem by Billy Collins, who often presents a scene.

[18:45]

I had the good fortune to go see Billy Collins live about a month ago, and I didn't realize that he was such a great comedian. His humor, his dry wit, his perfect timing is almost on a par with the excellence of his poetry. He just... And it's so insightful and self-depreciating. And this poem carries a lot of that. I take up an orange from a wicker basket and place it on the table to represent the sun. Then, down at the other end, a blue and white marble becomes the earth. And nearby... I lay the little moon of an aspirin. Then I sit back in a lighter back chair, a benevolent God presiding over a miniature creation myth.

[19:48]

And I begin to sing a homemade canticle of thanks for this perfect little arrangement, for not making the earth too hot or too cold, not making it spin too fast or too slow. so that the grove of orange trees and the owl become possible, not to mention the rolling wave, the play of the clouds, the geese in flight, and the zee of lightning on the blue lake, giving thanks for the trout, the oak, and the yellow feather, singing the room full of shadows as sun and earth and moon circle one another in their impeccable orbits, and I get more and more cock-eyed with gratitude. The self-forgiving foolishness. Oh, would it be that this world could just take such a resolved configuration?

[20:59]

Or would it be that I had the insight to just look down the table of existence with ease and benevolence, seeing the big picture so that the things that nag me and upset me just melted. And yet in a way we can. In a way we can, we can walk out the door and feel the damp air. Not that common an experience in San Francisco. The gray light. This is our world.

[22:08]

There's a Zen koan that comes at this in a very Zen way, not surprisingly. The monk goes to the teacher. The teacher is a young man. And he says to the teacher, well, how is it when there is a sense of resolution? How is it when I'm not so caught up in getting a $100 TV? Someone said to me once, they went to a sale, and there was black jeans on sale for $10, exactly the kind of jeans they liked. So they bought six pairs. And then as they were going home, they thought, what the hell am I going to do with six pairs of black jeans? You know, to create a way to fill in what's missing, to release a sense of lack or impoverishment.

[23:32]

Hmm. How do we attempt to do that? And when we touch that very sensibility, something turns. We can reach out with frantic desire. We can try to... or avoid or deny and in the service of the sanctity of some preciousness that doesn't have yearnings. But what is it to live in the throes of it? But the monk doesn't ask that question. He asks, what is it when that has ceased?

[24:41]

What is it when those desires have fallen away? And as often happens in Zen Kans, the metaphor comes from nature. What is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall? the teacher responds, then you're really in trouble. I tell you, the teacher says, there's two translations. One translation says, you're completely exposed. It's like, whether you managed to get that TV or didn't get that TV, in being engrossed in the activity. The fact that you got up at 4.30 and got to the store at 5 a.m.

[25:49]

so you could be one of the first in line. Your life had meaning and purpose and resolution and resolve. Maybe not resolution, but resolve. What is it when you let go of that? What is it when the antidote is not so persuasive and you're just more willing to be with what is? And the teacher says, then you're exposed. And you're exposed to the golden wind. You're exposed to... the very force of being alive that both enlivens us and teaches us how to live. What did you learn about yourself from the presidential election results?

[27:02]

What did you learn from how you spent Thanksgiving? What did you learn or are you learning from entering the milieu of shopping bargains? when we're exposed, when our coping mechanisms, when our defense mechanisms, when the antidotes that we yearn for, whether they're emotional, relational, material, or whatever else, when we start to set them aside, what is it to enter into a different kind of engagement with what is?

[28:09]

And then the resolve that comes up then for us has a different kind of hue or a different demeanor. It's not so much about consequence as it is involvement. What exactly is going on? What did I learn from the election results? After we had the election results, we concocted a statement here at Zen Center, essentially saying, Let's all remember to not let this stir up us and them.

[29:31]

Animosity, disapproval. Let's remember our shared human existence. This is a planet of us. remember that. And then we got some feedback. Essentially saying, okay, that's a good start, then what? Which in a way I think is just exquisite feedback. And then this simple binary that comes, don't harm, do good. And how that... refrain from the harm, whether it's harming others or harming self.

[30:47]

Refrain from... the way our desires can objectify. I sort of think of them as a kind of enacting the poetic muse of life. What exactly is the passion? What is the object that a hundred dollar TV can represent that stirs up such passion? Is it an essential item? Maybe for some. But it seems to me it has more of a metaphorical value that we give it. What is that? What is that value that can be so

[31:49]

evoking of passion. How does that come about? What is it that gets stirred up? What can I learn from it? Then what is it to step into the passion, the energy. The wind represents energy. That we are alive, that we are part of an interaction. This is what we are, this is how we are. This is what we do internally and externally. So the two translations are, one is exposed to it, exposed to the golden wind, and then the other translation is becoming the golden wind, embodying it.

[33:11]

In his way, Billy Collins saying, a benevolent God presiding over a miniature creation myth. Is that what we hope for from Zen practice, that I will have this kind of benevolent insight into the nature of what is safely and serenely separate? Hmm. I would say for me, often the answer is yes. I would like some of that. Certainly, when you look deeply at the different methodologies that come up in... I just realized my clock says five to seven.

[34:27]

Either I haven't started talking or I've been talking a long time. Okay, this slide. In the different methodologies in Buddhist practice, you know, in early Buddhism, you have shamatha vipassana, steady, to what is. That the mind studies, that the awareness studies, that the body settles. And then vipassana, investigating, opening to experience. And Zen has its own equivalent. Sit upright, stable, balanced,

[35:34]

open, and then stand up and carry that into action. So, of course, it's more than a little foolish to think I can have that godlike detachment or safety of separation. But there's some wisdom there, too. in finding that balance, that uprightness. And then carrying that into action, into an imperfect world, into a way of being that's willing to interact, that's willing to discover, things are always changing. That each and every one of us has our own subjective bias.

[36:40]

That a lot of the time we're persuaded by. That's just how it is. And that when we literally embody it, when we live it and breathe it and walk it, almost paradoxically, it's a support, it's a guidance, it's an expression of liberation. How could that be so? How could imperfection show the fullness of our human lives? Maybe we could say that when we take up the modest practice of just being present for the moment, as it appears, as it's felt and seen and heard, as we take up that modest practice, that we're embodying what is.

[38:07]

And when we embody it in that elemental way, it illuminates. It starts to illuminate. It starts to influence the totality, the complexity of the world we live in. We don't need to have the definitive conclusion from the election results. That we don't need to have the perfect thanksgiving situation to give thanks, to be grateful. Yes, we do enter into this world with hungry hands and eyes. But even our hunger has its own way of reaching out and making contact.

[39:22]

In some ways we could say, it's not that we're too material, it's that we're not material enough. That we've lost the capacity to... savor and appreciate the many things, the many material things of our life, that we want to cast them aside and get the next one. And that as we do this, as we enter the world in this way, the hunger, the desire can reveal can discover appreciation, can discover almost an aesthetic for the material world, or the aesthetic the material world has, in its many forms.

[40:41]

So young man says, exposed to the golden wind. Sometimes it's translated as the autumn wind, because the autumn wind comes at the time of the harvest, comes at the time of fruition, comes at the time of ripening. As we enter into this involvement, something is ripened, some gift is revealed, some enacted appreciation. But let me end by reading Billy Collins again, since he so delightfully makes fun of the whole thing. I take an orange from a wicker basket and place it on the table to represent the sun. Then down at the other end, a blue and white marble becomes the earth, and nearby I lay the little moon of an aspirin.

[41:58]

Then I sit back in a ladder-backed chair, a benevolent god presiding over a miniature creation myth, and I begin to sing a homemade canticle of thanks for this perfect little arrangement, for not making the earth too hot or too cold, not making it spin too fast or slow, so that the grove of orange trees and the owl become possible, not to mention the rolling wave, the play of the clouds, the geese in flight, and the zee of lightning on the dark lake, giving thanks for the trout, the oak, and the yellow feather, singing the room full of shadows as sun and earth and moon circle one another in their impeccable orbits. And I get more and more cockeyed with gratitude.

[42:59]

May you have a beautiful cockeyed day today. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge. And this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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