I love it when the sound goes on. Do you really, do I really, do we really vow to taste the truth of the Blessed One's words? I vow to taste the truth. Do we vow, us Sangha members, with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our might, to taste the truth of the Tathāgata's words? Yesterday, or the day before, probably the day before because I've already forgotten,

[01:22]

there was an article in the New York Times that I was very excited about. I'm always interested in physics and physics, ideas of physics, but I only, I don't really quite understand what they're talking about, but I do want to share it with you, so if I miss it, if somebody's a physicist here and I've missed it, forgive me. But it turns out that, well, the old theory was that the universe was created out of a big bang, you know that theory? And out of that big bang, they discovered, they know it was a big bang because everything is moving away from everything else at a certain pace and so on, and what they thought was, because of the strength of gravity, that as soon as everything got far enough away, that gravity, you know, actually I don't know how this works, but anyway, at some point gravity was supposed to have, you know, grabbed onto everything that was moving away and would

[02:27]

begin to then, oh I know, because it would have, the, you know, force that was making it go out, gravity, it would have run out and then gravity, from the explosion, as such as it was, it's a joke, you know, I mean really, we think we can actually conceive of anything? No. Anyway, so it would have run out and then gravity would have, was going to pull everything back in and it would, we would all be smashed together. Turns out, though, that these physicists now find that, in fact, as things are speeding away from each other, instead of slowing down as they're getting farther and farther away, they're going faster. And the physicists haven't been able to account for this at all, and as a matter of fact,

[03:31]

it's caused them a certain amount of discomfort, because it's undermining a good deal of what they think they know about the universe. And the way they, one of the characteristics of what's happening, oh, what they're trying to do is, this is such a, this is a very interesting concept. What they're trying to do is to, some matter in the universe is actually missing. They think that the universe weighs a certain amount, supposed it should weigh a certain amount, and they can only, for the matter that's in it, they can only account for 30%. It's lost somewhere. It turns out it's lost in space. And it turns out that in space, this vacuum, what they think of, thought of as a vacuum,

[04:41]

what's there is actually out of this vacuum, which we can hardly conceive of anyway, out of this vacuum is created energy. And energy, according to Einstein, is somehow the same as matter, matter, energy, right? So what they're trying to do now, seriously, not kidding, what they're trying to do now is weigh the vacuum. The way this is connected with my talk tonight, it's going to be a very short talk, I hope,

[05:45]

the way it's connected with it is that out of emptiness, out of nothing, not void, okay, not that kind of nothing, but out of this magical nothing, out of ... the reason I'm hesitating is because I do not want you to think that emptiness is a thing, it's not. Don't think that. But out of this vastness, we arise, are created. And when I was studying in Tantra way, they talked about practice in that way, that practice

[06:54]

was a dance with energy, or that you would play with energy, and that in fact the emotion thought that arise in us is a kind of a play of energy. And in a few days, many of us are going to have the opportunity to sit still and watch the play of emotion thought, the play of energy. Okay? We are going to voluntarily put ourselves into a cauldron of heat, and we are going

[07:58]

to sit in the middle of it, and some of us will experience energy as desire, some of us will experience that energy as revulsion, resistance, anger, some of us will have states of bliss, some of us will have states of other sorts. Some of us will be completely lucky if we can follow our breath for three or four periods during the day with some consistency. Ultimately, what matters the most? In this vow, this magical vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words, what really

[09:10]

is the most real, so-called real thing that happens when you sit? Is the passing show the most real? Is the imagination the most real? What's the most real thing, and how do we establish ourselves there so that we can taste the truth of the Tathagata's words? I do not know how to tell you, besides, you know, beating on this lectern, how much I

[10:15]

feel how important it is to sit. I really don't think, right now anyway, approaching a seven-day session, that there is any other way I'm saying that tonight. And many people feel the same way. We will be sitting with Green Gulch, our fellow Sangha brothers and sisters, we're going to overlap with Tassajara, we're going to sit with people in Thailand, in Korea, in Japan, maybe in China, probably in Tibet somewhere, I'm sure, certainly in India.

[11:19]

This is a Rohatsu session, the most, maybe, important session of the year, and millions and millions of people are going to sit together with us. For me, the truth of the Tathagata's words is somewhere around the heart. If it isn't that, then I don't know what I'm doing here. Somehow for me, the truth of the Tathagata's words is around the heart.

[12:24]

And when I sat down tonight to speak with you and be with you a little bit, I waited until my heart opened. It's not been easy for me the past few weeks here in the city center, so I waited till my heart opened, so that I could share with you my deep feeling that what we do together is of utmost importance for each of us individually, for our community, and for the world really. I was reminded of the Paramitas, giving, generosity, all of them we'll need when we sit to be

[13:38]

generous to ourselves, to be disciplined, carefully disciplined, not too much, not too little, carefully disciplined. We need to make effort. We need to have patience, really patience. We of course are going to sit, and whether we know it or not, we will be sitting in the middle of the truth, in the midst of wisdom. We will. And it's not only wide that we'll be sitting with people, it's not only wide, they'll

[14:40]

probably be sitting in Australia, there's the same group in South Africa. It's not just wide, we are also sitting with all the people who have come before us, doing exactly the same practice that we do now. And I feel myself, anyway, a tremendous amount of gratitude so that each one, because each one of those people, and they weren't just men, each one of those people did the same kind of work, the same difficult, disciplined, effortful, joyous, crazy work that we are going to be doing. And they did it generation after generation after generation so that we could hear the truth of the Tathagata's words.

[15:41]

For that I am grateful. We're sitting with them as well. And they don't hand down to us, they didn't hand down to us some words, really not. Sure, all of the classes that we go to and stuff like that, they're intriguing, they're interesting, they get our mind working, you know, those of us who are interested in ideas in that kind of way, they spark things, we can check our so-called progress, you know, by words and stuff like that, but that's not really what they held, that's not really what they pass on. They pass on the spirit of practice, the spirit of practice. I can remember, you know, when Suzuki Roshi, very near death, very, very near death, came into this room to the mountain seat ceremony for Richard Baker with his staff, and on top

[16:46]

of the staff there are three rings, and on those rings there are other little rings, and when he pounds it on the floor it goes, you know, ching-ching-ching-ching-ching-ching, shh, shh, ching-ching-ching-ching-ching-ching, with just his entire effort, and he's, you know, dead in a week. It's an amazing effort. Kategiri, the same thing, when he was dying, and you know, effort isn't always when you die. Not always in emergencies. No, it's too easy in a way in emergencies. Not in emergencies. It's way more difficult to make effort in the boring old day-to-day, you know, develop some kind of continuity. How does it go? Develop continuity is the host within the host, something like that. Develop continuity is the most difficult thing. Kategiri, when he was dying, he was full of shingles and stuff, shingles, very painful.

[17:49]

Very painful. And to the end, you know, I remember, I almost don't want to tell you this story, it's so personal, but I'll tell you anyway. I'll tell you another time. All right. I want to finish now. I think I've said enough. Anyway, I know that the practice spirit has been effective for people because I talk with people and things have come up. We've all gotten ourselves into a certain amount of trouble, which is good. And we've noticed some things, which is great. And we've kind of, thankfully, come to the end of our kind of, you know, being loosed on the world. And now we get to withdraw. It's a gift. We get to withdraw. We get to be alone, thank heavens, in a legitimate sort of way, so we don't have to feel lonely.

[18:55]

We get to withdraw and sit down with ourselves and let ourselves surrender, in grateful surrender, not holding on, finally, to some stupid image that we have to maintain, not having to be, you know, hurt by some perceived, you know, I'm including myself. That's why I had such a hard time this couple of weeks, slight, you know, to our... I'm telling you, humility is the best way to practice. It's wonderful. I hate it, but it's really good. It's really good. And the way you work with it is just, you breathe and you just keep letting go. You just stand there and you breathe, you keep letting it go.

[19:57]

Don't hold on. Don't hold... Feel it. Don't hold on. Feel it. Don't hold on. Don't hold on. Don't identify with any of it. That's what surrender means. Not to the emotions, not to the thoughts, not even to the consciousness, not even to dualistic consciousness. Don't identify there either. Surrender, surrender, surrender. And I was going to then tell you something about this koan, where Nanyue... I love that name, Nanyue, it's so lyrical, Nanyue, Nanyue. And I'm not sure if I... I don't remember if it's Matsu or Baso, I'm not sure. Anyway, you know, the polishing of the tile? Baso. Matsu. The Chinese name is Baso.

[20:59]

Oh, so it's the same guy. I like the name Matsu. One's lyric and one is kind of staccato. Matsu. Nanyue. It's great. But, you know what? I'm not going to do it. I'll save it for Zexin. I'll bring it up. It's a great thing, because Dogen turns it completely around. So I'll talk about it then. I think I've said enough and we can go to sleep. I'm done. I'm going to stop. Yes. You're right. You're so right. Digest it completely. Shit it out. It's just a concept.

[22:04]

Do not be bossy. bothered by the concepts. Very superficial. Very superficial. Good luck. I'll be there with you. It's going to be tough, and it'll be wonderful. So please, remember the Paramitas, take care of yourselves, you know, from between now and then, tie up everything, say goodbye to whoever is a friend of yours, not going to talk to them. And again, the same thing is true for people who are not sitting. If you're going to work, it's okay. You know, other people are going to be sitting. You can remember that people are going to be sitting, and at that moment, as soon as you remember, you're back to the present moment in awareness. That's all we're doing, okay? We're just trying... We just are going to wake up to the present moment, that's all. No mystery. And you can do it while you're working. So you can join Seshin in that way, and those of you who are

[23:09]

close and nearby here, if you want to, you're welcome. Please don't just stay in your rooms. Come down to the Zendo. It's an opportunity, because everybody in the Seshin is going to be developing this concentration, a certain amount, and when you come sit, you kind of get a contact high, you know, remember? You can do that. Come and sit. Come in the morning and come in the evening. Sit in the Gaitan or come sit on the floor. Don't go hide in your rooms, okay? You can do Seshin, walking around and the rest of it, and then come sit, remember? And we can have fun. It's great fun, because, you know why it's fun? It's wonderful to talk to people during Seshin. It's the best. It's so different. During Seshin, people are there, so you can really meet. So come, let's all do it together, and do this thing

[24:13]

that has been handed down to us and that many people in the world are going to be doing. May our intention...

[24:29]

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