December 11th, 2002, Serial No. 04007

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the fifth day of session is an interesting day always find it interesting day
unlike the other days which are not interesting
oftentimes on the fifth day weekend through four days our mind is more settled than usual
even if you have lots of thoughts going back and forth still underneath there's a settlements that if you're willing to admit in there
but then an interesting the interesting thing creamy and and i have what happens is is that all this time you know that the self and new the so-called self and newer are better half i'm
have been going in the same direction oftentimes because we think we're going to get something i'm says she and so here we are willing and ready to go intercession and her kind of and maybe a little bit training and but also i mean after all we
have committed ourselves to do that so you'll have been wanting to do this for some reason
and time the reason is because we think that we're going to get better hope we're going to get something
and even if we get a little taste of something we have a slight suspicion that it may not laugh and solve our problems ultimately
saranda and the fourth day in day we begin to wonder
sitting here and achy body
maybe we should rethink
have you found a rethink
so this is why it's really interesting to me because am
it's the time and way actually need to recommit
we arm were settled the mind is more stable and focused
and now and can really get to work
at nothing

so the only
difficulty we may have had getting to work at nothing
this resistance
does just like struggle that might be coming up or this ah undercurrent of
ah maybe what's happening exactly now just not quite enough
maybe not bad even
i just not quite enough
and the reason why it's interesting is because
when we have our usual distractions the drama of a big thoughts her
this that the other thing whatever
we don't really think that that the self you know distracting us from something we think that's our life
but now when we get settled and we have seen the same old tapes over and over and over again
we can actually take a peek
i have the self work
how we we create
over and over again
a sense of separation
how we rebuild over and over again
the wall
that closes in front of are always open heart
this is what we can watch now
not the distractions
not the growth takes
but watch more deeply
how grasping to these stories
to this resistance to the judgment
recreates a sense of separation
that we cling to
and this is a mistake
this is the fundamental mistake
and now it can be in clear view
so he might take a moment some time today
to recommit
in the midst of the aching body
if you have one
in the midst of here
blabbing mind
take a moment and recommit
and see if you can notice
not the content but how with grabbing onto the content works
to rebuild a sense of separation to solidify a sense of separation
that is the underpinning for are suffering and the suffering of the
use the forms again
here pasture
and whatever your helps you
to continue developing continuity of present awareness
and see in a relaxed way
if you can just notice every time you recreate a barrier every time you recreate separation
feel what that feels like
and if you can
why announce it
reconnect connect
what's the truth of our existence

another way of looking at the same thing
is to notice change
we must have by this time
after four days of sitting
notice that
everything is rising
and passing away
her thoughts
physical sensations her eyes and pass away
everything is in constant motion
when i was young i look i was looking for truth some kind of truth to hang onto
then i formed it is a question
the question was
is there anything i can depend on i think that was a question
is there anything that is always true that's what i wanted to know i really wanted to know if there was anything that i could count on can look like it from my life
so i held that question
and then one day in junior high was twelve and junior high as i was walking across the quad how into van eyes junior high
was it tough school try remember
ha at lunch ways to go to bob's big boy pro hamburger i think it was the original place in the united states that served double double i think so i think it were
tavern near yeah exactly and both february he was delicious as i remember when combined with
but outback people were smoking pot
and there were gangs and pink like other i didn't know that
but i was twelve years later by my brother
anyway there i was pretty innocent twelve year old miserable beyond miserable i was so valuable
and home
walking across the quad those grass has carrying my little flute little person little food
and on the way to orchestra rehearsal and then all of a sudden i i really got it i really understood
that the one thing i could really count on to be the same all the time was it everything changes
pretty good and tight
so sitting here for four days that should be clear
everything changes

if we look closely into that truth look deeper into that truth
we know a couple of things one is that the view of ourself as separate and solid can't be true because we are changing also
and if we look at how everything changes it's clear that everything is totally connected we can't remove anything from this web of interconnection

you know p m machine is not working right now
and i'm on most curious about it
am because i went to them and i asked them if they could between and certain amount of time not
to work for machine and i think hey maybe did hand ha
it may start again you know but we have sometimes choir and it's in that way that we are at the heart bursts with gratitude in the way that were supported all the time by life it would have been okay
to pick up guy
what we do when we feel separate is we buy into this idea that i'm alone
hence very painful
but if we can understand our interconnectedness we have a chance of asking
for help
for comfort for support to be able to give some
the last am talk that ah kei gary roshi my teacher
he gave when i had okay okay which was his monastery in minnesota
who was on a dogan fascicle called flowers in the sky
sentence i hear it in his voice
it's about the interconnectedness of everything is very short sentence
says quote
one flower opens with five petals
performing a fruit which ripens of it's own accord
had trouble saying ours
so i hear the eyes kinda funny
one flower opens with five petals forming a fruit which ripens of it's own accord what is the flower what is the pedal
is there a paddle without the flour is there a flower without the pedals
where does one end and the and the other one begin where does my life as an individual and
and somebody else's life began
where does the trees exhaling
and and my breathing that breath in
where does that begin my exhaling oxygen
i don't actually like said i really
i saw it it exhales carbon dioxide know
the trade what will make over there
can you get the idea that
his neck craig
hey here's another great thing i was gonna talk about flowers fall i mean you know flowers and sky
and today for the first day i had flowers and flowers here i'm a little stamp is all is all connected we just have to notice

if one is not a buddha or is an ebay addict one does not know when a flower blooms the world comes into being
a flower blooms is in front three by three in back three by three in order to fulfill this number of members all things are assembled and made grandiose invoked
this principle one can know the measure of spring and autumn but it's not that there are flowers and fruits and spring and autumn being time always has flowers and fruit flowers and fruit together preserve time and season time and season together preserved flowers and fruit
for this you know
i was gonna interpret the for you but i have to actually understand for this reason the hundred plants all have flowers and fruits all trees have flowers and fruits gold silver copper iron coral and jul
trees all have flowers and fruits earth water fire air and space trees all have flowers and fruits
human trees have flowers human flowers have flowers even withered trees have flowers
when a flower blooms
there is spring

here i think that's kind of basically all i want to say really i wanted to say to to ask you to just come track
yourself tracks a small self
ha to just pay attention to pain to your pain

because in tracking our own pain and being open to it understanding that pick you know because everything changes all of this pain as dependently co vision it's not my pain
but as i'm open to my pain understanding all of this is changing independently covers and are interconnected
i can then know another person's pain because it's one life that we're meeting
so during says shane it's a really good time to pay attention to how it is that we create and believe in the separation because it's when we feel separate that we allow ourselves to reapply our own self
and this is just simply mistaken view
the truth of our existence is that we share one life
and that when i see another person in pain i understand that person's pain because i understand my own pain
and when we ah are able to
a settle
and be able to watch clearly the self and how it's working we are

many words passed through my mind one of them as awe struck
because when if you really see how yourself is working to recreate you in these habit ways of ah
and when you say that it's dependently co you understand that it's working
kind of by itself
and it wants to maintain its sense of separation and it doesn't care if you're unhappy
once you really see that you won't any longer be
entertained by any of the thoughts that keep you separate

now another ah
consistent experience so we have to an obsession is not just that everything changes but there's something there always it doesn't change
i didn't get this when i was a kid

there is something always there that doesn't change
there actually two things that are there that only that doesn't change always there

when we are coming from a place of self who are using concepts and basically a divided consciousness
but when we rest in the space of awareness
and don't push away or grab onto conceptual reality dualistic conceptual reality what we find there is a stable
the vast
the girl she calls it big mind
it's an awareness somehow or another that comes out of existence it's not my personal awareness should not your personal awareness necessarily it just is
what we are fundamentally under all of the distractions of content
we are this clear saying silent
sky like it's often called sky like awareness sky mind
that's they're all the time and it's so close to us that we miss it because we always interpret the conch of the dualistic consciousness as me
and the other thing that they are all the time that we also miss out of fear
is that our heart is open all the time

so i the other night i suggested some words and i think that when we sit so much we have a chance sometimes to do his kind of ah
compassion practices
we can devote did he feel like it may be one period a day or even the first like ten minutes when you're trying to just settle the mind and the beginning of any period
compassion practices are actually a concentration practices
they help settle and stabilize the mind so it's the beginning of a meditation period it's good to eat to do that if you feel like it can do a
few verses of napa or a little bit of tongue lenton
to to touch that place in you that does exist that is our capacity that is our true nature
that is not a feeling
but as an attitude born out of and understanding of our connectedness with everything
so even the intention to send
good will happiness lack of suffering physical well-being equanimity is joy
peace that intention itself comes from the core of our being
and it helps us loosen the grasping that we do around this creating of barriers between self and our own experience little own self and other
i brought another thing of dogan

and then what then recommends a course is this wholehearted devotion to whatever the activity is that you're doing
so dogan calls that such this so i'm waiting from email which is such his cassava

if you want to attain such a thing you must be such a person
since you are such a person why trouble with such a thing
once hearing the chimes hung in a chamber ring one blown by the wind a student ask i shot shatter
would you say the wind is ringing or the chimes rang game katyusha said it is not the wind ringing or the chimes ringing it is my mind ringing
and what is the mind
russia said
both are silent
his teacher said good good

wisdom is not learned in people it doesn't arise of itself wisdom is communicated to wisdom wisdom sakes wisdom wisdom is not imbued with thought wisdom is not devoid of thought wisdom is not i
i would say you could just put the word awareness and their wisdom is not mindful wisdom is not mindless how much less has to do with grade were small how much less is it a question of delusion or enlightenment
handle last one
when he had been pounding rice day and night for a mere eight months one night when it was very late diamond himself stole into the military and asked his the rice polished yet he said it's polished but not sifted
guidelines struck the mortar thrice with his staff whereupon the sixth patriarch sifted the rice in the save three times
responding to
this is called the moment of the meshing of the path of teacher and apprentice
the one doesn't know oneself and others do not understand the transmission of the teaching and the rogue is indeed the precise time of being such

and another question
i've heard that in the south they directly point to the human mind see its nature and attain buddhahood i really do not understand this and hope you will be so compassionate is to give me some indication of it
in reply to ya cousins questions secondo said
it cannot be grasped as such it cannot be grasped as not such as such or not such they cannot be grasped at all
what about you

these people are talking about the mind
that is our birthright that doesn't have to be
built or acquired or ah
developed or anything like that we haven't already
the question is do we have the commitment the stamina the courage the will the patience kindness to ourselves
to study the barriers that we create and believe our me
to study them
and then let them go
it says over and over in the literature
we all are loaded nature
we all have already the mind of awakening
we all have already
the heart that has the capacity to love
everything excluding nothing
we just have some work to do
find herself
see it clearly
renounce all the barriers all the sense of separation
guess is they're committed life of a buddhist

in asks
what about you
is a commercial said the most difficult part of practice is just to keep going
so i'm a fifth day we have a good chance
to help each other with this work
we can recommend together
to developing a continuity of present
why some tenderness for ourselves and each other
trying to let our life the life that is there already
have a place to live