This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. I'd like to start this morning's or today's talk with two anecdotes that have been an annual part of my life here at San Francisco Zen Center, with the exception of the last couple of years. So the first one is about an annual children's party.

[01:00]

We do here. Is the sound okay? Yep. Good. Each year we do an annual Christmas party for the children who live two blocks down Page Street in a shelter. It's for families and we host them. around this time of year. And there's a Santa Claus and the children will receive presents. And that's run by Jeffrey. That's his role. So many years ago, that was my role. And then one year, when I was in this role and I was arranging a party, the organization that's the parent organization for the homeless shelter down the street.

[02:05]

There's about 20 families there. They said, well, actually we have five centers. Could you do a Christmas party for all of them? And I said, okay. And then they called me back and they said, well, you know, some of the children at the shelters have friends that they'd like to bring along to other children. And so what had been a few years before, what had been a party for about six, eight, 10 children grew into a party for 200 children. And here's the delightful and amazing truth of it all, details of it all. So then I needed a place for 200 kids.

[03:07]

And then I thought, well, you know, kids can't stand in line for a long time. They're kids. A long time for them is an eternity. So instead of one center, we need 10 centers. And of course, we need gifts for 200 now instead of eight. and uh and everywhere i turned and everyone i asked you know the magical phrase was i'm hosting a party for homeless children and that magical phrase opened doors opened hearts created you know generosity created almost as if people were delighted to be generous, to be grateful.

[04:13]

In San Francisco, there is a tradition. The firemen collect toys for children at Christmas. And one or two nights before we were having the party, they took me to a warehouse. And in the warehouse, there was a mountain of toys. And they said, take whatever you want. And of course, by that point, we'd organized a list. Let me tell you, it's quite a thing to find out the age, the gender of the child, and then find the suitable toy. But we did. And we asked people if they'd volunteer to be Santa. And they just said, of course, what else can I do? We asked people to wrap the presents, label them, sort them out into boys and girls of different ages.

[05:26]

And they did. uh, local market for snacks, you know, drinks and other snacks for the children, they came with abundance. So what seemed improbable and maybe at any other time of the year or for any other cause, it would have been improbable, you know, that in five days you can put together an event. in which 200 children are gonna receive a wrapped present. And I was reminded of this, this year when Jeffrey, who now has that role, was making an announcement and saying, well, we have a list of children, and if you would like to donate a toy, come see me. And before the end of the day, he sent an email out to everyone saying, okay,

[06:33]

Everything's taken care of. All the children have been assigned someone to buy them. Okay, that's the first story. Second story is, so every year at the back of city hall in San Francisco, on the solstice, at like 5.30, 6.30 in the evening, there's a ceremony, an interfaith ceremony. Maybe there's like six or eight different faiths represented. And it's bearing witness on the homeless people who've died in San Francisco. in that year. And usually, it's about 160 people.

[07:41]

It's remarkably consistent. I don't know why. And usually, maybe about 30 of them, nobody actually knows their name. And so we call them John Doe and Mary Doe. And so when we come to, and then we break up in each faith tradition, we'd offer a representation of their tradition, their spirituality. And in the Zen tradition, we chant the Mata Sutta, Sutta of Loving-Kindness. And then you read out 10 or 20 names, and then you pass on to the next person. And we stand there in the candlelight. Most times, being that time of year, it's cold and dark.

[08:50]

And we stand there. And each year, has almost a stunning solemnity to it. This is our city. This is what happens on the streets when I go home to my place, get in the bed, and sleep. Other people don't. Other people don't even wake up the next morning. So I ask you both these stories of this time of year. Not in any way to draw conclusions or judgements.

[10:00]

Abide. the society of San Francisco or the society of the world. More to say how complex and multifaceted our lives are. It seems to me in a strange way, as I was reflecting on this, actually I was reflecting on a piece from, chant that we do in the Zen tradition it's called in Japanese it's called sandokai and really the literal translation would be many one into being and how this is the nature of our life all these things happen all these beautiful things.

[11:05]

I remember so fondly, it's quite a few years ago, that Christmas party. It was like, it was magical. It was like the impossible was just the easiest thing to do because there was such generosity in the air. in the hearts of everyone we met. And the solemnity of bearing witness on homeless deaths. How do we, how do we reconcile with that? The piece in the Sandokai that came to mind, it says, right in light, there is darkness, but don't relate to it separate from the light.

[12:21]

And right in darkness, there is light, but don't just see it as light. the interplay of these two ways to speak. And thinking about this year, this extraordinary year, not that every year is not extraordinary, it is. But this one seems to have presented us in this extraordinary global way. something we'd never heard of came into being and affected every one of our lives, COVID virus 19. In pastoral care, considered to be one of the teachings of pastoral care is that there's five kinds of losses.

[13:36]

And in a way, this virus has brought all of them into being, maybe for every single one of us, one way or another. So the first one, first kind of loss is relatedness. You think about it this way where our lives are interwoven with others' lives, our social gathering. are ways of connecting and how they have been compromised. So we've had this loss. And the second loss is how our roles have been impacted. We will, each of us has certain roles. even as a parent or a child, you know?

[14:40]

And now you can't be together. Or you had your role of how you, what you do for a living, you know? Whether you were a student or you work in an office, also these things are compromised. And then certain ways in which you do certain activities, certain functions, that are usually a part of your life, also probably being disrupted. And then the physicality of your life. Oh, I would go this time of year, I would go here and I would do this. Well, this year may well be, you can't go there. that there are restrictions to where you can be and how you can be.

[15:44]

And then the last one is our sense of self. When you start to take apart our roles, our activities, what we can do and what we can't do, how we can be in relationship with other. When you start to take all that apart, your sense of self is compromised. Or maybe it's more realistic to say, can be compromised. So that came into our lives. And what stories we could tell each other about how that's been for us. Just the group of people listening now.

[16:50]

And how in a way, what an amazing thing that we have, we now have this commonality. So we had the pandemic, we had the resultant, economic impact. We had the limitations on our lifestyle, many of us, maybe most of us. And then in the background, we have climate change. And then more recently, you know, in United States, we've had a, an election process that has been, maybe it's fair enough to say, odd.

[17:54]

Seemingly, from one perspective, if you just do the arithmetic, it seems like it was conclusive. If you look at maneuvering and the intriguing way, there's all sorts of stories, whether you want to call them stories or conspiracy theories, tick and pick. And then in the rhythm of United States, what do we do? We have Thanksgiving. we have a celebration of gratitude. Maybe there's a deep wisdom within us that says, as we head into the darkness, let's carry something with us.

[18:59]

Let's carry something of the light. Maybe in this way, the spiritual light. As we head into these difficulties, let's carry something of the light with us. So we give thanks. And then in this season, whether we relate to it, from a spiritual identity, a Christian, a Jew, or any other faith tradition, we have a way of acknowledging and celebrating, holding up that which is precious. When I was doing that Christmas party, one of the things that struck me was it's almost like People were relieved to have the opportunity to be unequivocally kind and generous.

[20:11]

It was like it was a relief for them. Ah, here's a simple, unqualified way, taking care of children, giving them happiness. this rhythm of our life. And this rhythm of our life, whether we're talking about sitting zazen in a formal way, or whether we're talking in very broad strokes, which I've been trying to do about who we are as a society, or even as an individual or within our cultural identity. There's a combination of doing and being.

[21:17]

All these things have happened this year. And we did our responses. we perceived them a certain way, we thought up a way of relating to that, and we enacted it, you know? Whether it was just staying home and watching more Netflix, you know? Or whether it was, you know, I spent the first five months of the year, not quite by design, in a monastery where, We were blissfully separate from all the restrictions that were happening outside. We didn't need to socially distance. Doing and being. If you think in Zazen, we sit down to be, to be Zazen, to be the body, be the breath, be the thoughts,

[22:31]

be the feelings, be the sound. And in the midst of that being, as we are endeavoring to let that invite us into the depths of being, the doing of our being, of what we do, who and what we are as a person asserts itself. The mind starts to think. The mind conjures up its reality. And if it's allowed to continue in that regard, starts to do. Whether we just have a narrative in our head, whether we start to plan whether we start to emote whether whether we start to remember or anticipate the the impulse to do asserts itself so in zazen to discover the being in the midst of doing

[24:01]

being illuminate the doing. This is what that sutra I mentioned, the sandukai. This is an emerging. Can we carry our doing in a way? Can we engage our doing? in a way that's informed by our being. When I think of those stories that I mentioned, to me, the common ground of both of them is caring. People were generous because they cared. They offered space, they offered toys, they offered food because they cared.

[25:08]

People showed up at the back of City Hall because they cared. Because even though it's unsettling, it's part of what we are. we exclude it we're excluding part of ourselves and and we intervene singularly and collectively when we exclude some part of ourselves that integrating and harmonizing of being is disruptive And of course you can look at our history. And this is seemingly is what we've constantly done.

[26:12]

We constantly created us and them. And we've acted on that. So the admonition of the Sang-du-Kai, and I would say the admonition of our own It is asking us to mediate our doing with our being. If you think of doing and you think, well, we do something to have a certain outcome. But we do something with a certain outcome from a certain notion of what reality is, from a certain notion of what is important to have happen and what is important to not have happen. As human beings, we will, we will infuse what we want to have happen with desire.

[27:26]

We will infuse what we don't want to have happen with the version. If it just stays fueled by our desire and our version, if it just stays fueled by our rigid thinking, it goes in a strange way. Then us and them, and then us acting in our best interest and ensuring they are not able to interrupt us, it becomes utterly plausible. Of course that makes sense. That is what we should do. They are not us. They will not ensure the enactment of our desires and our versions.

[28:29]

And of course, we can do that then ourselves, all by ourselves. We don't need anyone else to prompt. And the Sandhukay says, yes, there is a constructed world. That's what it is to be alive. Yes, we, of course, we construct versions of reality. we can watch ourselves when we vote or an election comes, take sides of a preference. And when a whole variety of stories and perspectives arise, we can watch ourselves believe or disbelieve. I have been fascinated in reading articles

[29:32]

that analyze conspiracy theories and how they're believed. And honestly, I find it very informative. I can read something and I could think, that's absurd. That's ridiculous. That's so ridiculous, it's funny. And then, I keep reading the article and it says, and this percentage of the population totally believes this, goes out into the streets with signposts, you know, holding up placards saying, this is true. Point I'm trying to make. is to say that our impulses in the world of doing, they need our being.

[30:44]

They need something in us to sort of introduce what we might call the nourishing factors of our interbeing. this way in which when we give, yeah, we may give a material thing or a beneficial action, but actually we give something of ourself. We give over to interbeing. And usually when we give in that way, we feel enriched. And more interestingly, when we give in that way, something in us, I would say, and this is my experience, is nurtured.

[31:51]

And that when we do that together, we nurture each other. And I think in a way, We reassure each other. There is goodness in the world. We're capable of it. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, that we human beings are capable. And then is there a way that with all these challenges, the pandemics, the bifurcation of our political system, in the United States now, looks like the very notion of democracy is being called into question. Anyway, that's how it seems to me. Can we have as a touchstone the sensibility of being

[33:09]

Touches a shared humanity. Can we remind ourselves, well, even inside myself, there's a variety of beliefs and a variety of agendas and a variety of opinions and behaviors. Why would I expect a uniformity in our society? Or why would I expect even a uniformity within my close friends? How do we infuse our doing with being? And in a way, this is how we discover what we might call right effort in Zazen.

[34:16]

And this is how that, yes, there is a purposefulness in Zazen. Purposefulness is be present. Don't just swirl around in random thoughts and feelings in enchanted by your own dream-like consciousness be present in the here and now and then in our doing you know how do we do in a way that upholds being so sometimes in zan i think of it as part of the taoist influence way the journey is what's important not the destination how things are engaged not the outcome is important and then when we take that and we apply it to our life we find

[35:35]

know when i when i grow grocery shopping and i decide halfway to the grocery store i'll walk in the park because the journey is what's important and being what's important um i'm not going to have anything to eat there'll be no groceries to take home but when i'm at the grocery store Can I remember not to elbow people out of the way so I get to the top of the line first? Can I be present for the activity? This blend. This commonality of existence. below you know whatever city you live in whatever country you live in which goes below whatever your political identity is you know or however else you create identity for yourself we all eat

[37:09]

We all drink water. We all sleep. We all want to love. And we all want to be loved. We all want a sense of connection. And I'm gonna add that we all want a sense of freedom. that this being draws us close to. Something in us knows, something in us appreciates the wisdom and compassion of being. touch it within ourselves, there is a kind of relief.

[38:15]

Given all the things I'm capable of, how lovely this is how I'm being in this moment. And at this time of year, I remember my daughter when she was in her righteous later teens would berate the whole notion of Christmas as a kind of commercial ploy. And now she has two young children of her own and she sees the delight, the imaginative, intrigue they have around it all. And I will give her credit. She's still, as often as she can, which is most of the time, she creates the gifts she gives.

[39:27]

Attempting to moderate. I think that's part of what we're asked to do. Can you moderate the aspects of our collective society that don't feel so good to you? Not as an expression of your aversion, your disapproval, your rejection, but in the service of it to be We can think of this time of year. At its core, it has something beautiful. At its core, it really does shed a light on the human condition.

[40:32]

At its core, it really does invite us to go beyond self-preoccupation. And then, such is the nature of our human condition. We are inclined to say, but wait a minute, couldn't we sell lots of those and make lots of money or couldn't we whatever? That's the nature of our society. But can we see the goodness in it? And can we act in accord with the goodness? Not in a kind of... What would you say? Not in a naive way.

[41:36]

But in a way that's... not going to easily give up the good because there's something you could validly criticize. And I would offer you that notion. This is our challenge. in the midst of all this turmoil. Maybe it's a kind of hope. A hope, a vow to enable the whole, to bring forth that which, I'm trying to use the word virtuous, but maybe that's too dualistic.

[42:44]

brings forth a wholesomeness if you think about it can we really resolve the difficulties we're having with our climate change if we don't bring it forth well if the countries the major countries just keep competing and saying well why don't you cut your production, and we don't. Now, as we have the possibility of a vaccine, I think many of us are thinking, how lovely, how wonderful, things will return to normal. So normal was great before the vaccine, before the virus.

[43:54]

We can make it so. We can, indeed we can let our, our wish, we can come back into being. We can carry with that wish a well-being of everyone. We can carry with it a new beginning. Maybe not forget the commonality, the fragility of our collective being. Maybe not forget those the kinds of losses that impact us all. When the virus is around and when it's not around. May we allow that rhythm of us, that as we head into the dark, we uphold the light.

[45:12]

Probably somewhere Hundreds of thousands of years ago, when we were still hunters and gatherers, this heading into the dark of the year, we searched for some way to lighten up in both senses of the word. It's darkness. I'd like to offer you in closing. very short poem by anna swear here's the poem there's a light in me whether in daytime or in nighttime i always carry inside a lot in the midst of noise and turmoil i carry silence always i carry light and silence Maybe in this talk I've been saying, carry a light.

[46:24]

See what you're dealing with. And carry into being. Don't just relate with your heart. Relate with that part of you that cares. It cares enough to buy a toy for a homeless person, a homeless child. It cares enough to feel saddened when they hear a list of names, John Doe number one, John Doe number two, of people who died on the street, and didn't even have a name. That's how impoverished we left them. We care.

[47:33]

It's a magnificent part of us. It makes our life worthwhile. It supports us. It supports others. It helps us find a good response to the challenges we have in front of us. And the Zen chant says, implies do what you do think about it deeply add your compassion to your wisdom and then do what you do live your life it's a precious gift and anna swear is

[48:49]

and I carry with me also a connection to being. It helps me, helps me remember something more than just do it. It seems to me when we can connect like this, we have a resilience. Okay, we have these problems, we have these issues in our collective being in this world and in our own lives, you know. And when we meet them in this way, they will, they'll teach us. We learn something from them. We learn something

[49:50]

about both, about doing and being. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[50:28]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_95.69