Good evening. Good evening. So as part of the practice period, we have a Wednesday night tea. We break up into small groups, and then those small groups discuss some aspect of the theme of sila samadhi, panya, prajna. So tonight's theme was... given what's being revealed, made apparent by the practice of mindfulness, what's your advice for yourself in terms of your inner world and your outer world? There's a difference between reflecting on our experience, thinking, and ruminating on our experience in a kind of repetitive thought.

[01:05]

The same issue tumbles in your mind and then you run a scenario or have a feeling and then a few moments later it pops up again or a few hours later it pops up again. And there's a kind of almost out of control repetitiveness or almost circular thinking. Or feeling, too. In contrast, reflection is more linked to the experience. Okay, what happened? The person said this with this tone of voice. And I was sparked by the content. The tone of voice and not the content, or both. And the way I was sparked was like this.

[02:09]

This kind of emotion came up. This kind of physical sensation. So reflection has a quality of being more matter-of-fact. more linked to the particulars. It's like through the experience we're drawn outside a more usual narrative, the more usual intrigues and judgments and apprehensions and predispositions and psychological significances of our inner world. where we're making contact more directly. This is what we might call the function of mindfulness in everyday activity.

[03:13]

It's not so much that we need to feel like, well, the consciousness that experiences that should be deeply serene, equanimous, and free from all attachments. No, it's a little bit more rough and ready. Notice the attachments. Notice the lack of serenity. What kind of lack of serenity are you having? Is it fear? Is it anger? Is it sadness? Is it confusion? Resentment? Envy? Desire? Whatever. quality of mindfulness that can experience it as it is, like let the experience invite you out of the intrigue of the world according to me. And we can notice this when we're in the midst of experience, and a substantial part of the experience is judgments,

[04:26]

narrative, you know, maybe we notice we're not, for a moment, we haven't even been listening to the other person, we've been engrossed in getting ready our rebuttal, you know. To explore experientially, what is it to be invited into direct experience? And what is it to facilitate that process? So very much the methodology of mindfulness is start with something tangible. Your body, your breath, what you're seeing, what you're hearing. And then complicate it. Then start to notice what you're feeling, your state of mind.

[05:28]

content of your thoughts. And to punctuate our day with such experiences. And then we start to get a more direct sense, a more accurate sense of what goes on for me. And then so the homework in our small groups was just reflect what has been happening with you. Sometimes I say to people, be honest with yourself. And whether or not you're going to be honest with anyone or everyone else, be honest with yourself as best you can. Don't BS yourself. What exactly, as best as you can describe it, is going on?

[06:34]

Sometimes you can parse it. What happened and what response did it elicit? And then the homework today was, given that, What's your advice? How does that inform your practice? And again, there's a significant shift. There's the shift from what did you want to have happen? What did you not want to have happen? And what do you think of that person? Do you think they're a good person or a bad person? What is it to come from a more thoughtful, a more... a place of being, a way of being, a state of consciousness that holds this as an opportunity, an opportunity to express...

[08:00]

a deeper aspect of your being. What deeper aspect? That's the inquiry. Watch or invoice for yourself. Is this a time for patience? Is this a time for action? Is this a time to remember that we're all suffering in one way or another. Each one of us is making this extraordinary, almost incomprehensible effort to suffer less and be happy more. In each situation, we express that, whether it makes sense to anyone else or ourselves. periodically pause, notice, and engage what's happening as an opportunity to engage the Dharma.

[09:23]

Not that we have to have all the answers, but even the very process of doing that helps put in motion a loosening up of the way in which we're bound to the world according to me and the agendas that it creates. And really Zazen is just sitting down and enacting that process as exactly and thoroughly as we can. whether our zazen is simply noticing that our mind is in a swirl associated with a lot of charged emotions.

[10:26]

Whether our zazen is noticing, experiencing the sense doors, what arises at the sense doors, a thought, a feeling, another thought, sensation of seeing, of smelling. Or as in, is noticing that consciousness is expressing itself through attention to this and then attention to that. What I'm trying to say is whether our mind is settled and thoroughly attentive or whether our mind is unsettled, still it's an opportunity for experiencing what is. This is the spirit of Zazen.

[11:34]

It's in the service of realizing directly the three marks, the three characteristics of each moment of consciousness, of existence. And what I'm saying is we can notice them in one way when the mind is quite active. We can notice them in another way when the mind is starting to settle. When the mind is unsettled, we just notice the emotional charge. When the mind's starting to settle, we can start to notice, hmm, this happened and it triggered this response. It starts to become more of a dynamic. And then as the mind settles more, it's more like that dynamic is not about solid things.

[12:41]

It's about the interplay of momentary experience. It's more like flow of experiencing, an energetic flow of experiencing. But all three offer us the opportunity of awareness. All three offer us an opportunity to notice the three marks. And the three marks are impermanence, This is not a static existence. And sometimes that's a marvelous practice, to just sit with attention to impermanence, to notice how consciousness, attention can move from thought to feeling to hearing to seeing.

[13:47]

Sometimes that flow is interrupted by a certain grasping. Sometimes it's interrupted by a distraction into something that's being grasped that then creates its own kind of world. Sometimes We're quite conscious of that world, and sometimes we're not. So even there we see impermanence. Even there we see conditioned existence. Sometimes as we grasp, then we see it carries a deeper kind of significance for us. Maybe we associate it with previous experiences that were similar. And in that process, we start to see the second characteristic, which is usually translated as no-self or non-self.

[14:59]

But what it means is there isn't a self that's independent of other conditions, and there isn't a self that's permanent and always abiding as the other conditions change. And we can notice even, you know, our mood change during the day, you know, with moments of mindfulness. You know, we can notice in the morning we feel optimistic and cheerful about the day. And then maybe at lunchtime we notice we're diligent and determined and then towards the end of the day we're looking forward to the day being over. And usually, when we look a little more carefully, we notice, there's more to it than that.

[16:02]

Sometimes there can be a background preoccupation. Often, if there's something of a negative nature weighing on our life, in the more spacious moments, it comes forward. it's very charged, it moves more into the foreground of our life, and it's hard to relate to the moment because it's taking up so much air time. But when we bring mindfulness even to those states, we can notice they're impermanent. They're dependent upon conditions. And then the third characteristic is is usually translated as the mark of suffering.

[17:07]

Thich Nhat Hanh likes to translate it as the mark of nirvana. It's about this mark that this characteristic The nature of existence is such that how the arising is related to flavors, influences, helps to shape what is arising. How we relate to the moment is a factor in what the moment is. a joyful moment independent of our response to it, or a terrible moment.

[18:10]

So I say all that as a preview of the talking about samadhi. Samadhi in Buddhist practice, and I would say even in Zen practice, has a range of meanings. But the way I'm going to talk about it, and I think there's legitimacy for this, and those of you who've had the misfortune to listen to other talks I've given know that I use this phrase a lot, which is continuous contact. Sometimes in the Zen school, we say zazen is objectless concentration. That there's continuous attention to what's arising, but there's no grasping of any object.

[19:13]

It's like an open, continuous awareness that experiences what is and lets it flow. And in that experiencing the flow, in experiencing the flow, the three marks are realized. And there's something about our conviction and utter dedication to the world, according to me, that starts to come apart. Someone was saying to me a couple of days ago, over the last three, four years, they've been doing a lot of sashins and retreats. And they were saying, you know, I'm noticing an interesting thing about myself. There's certain things that I've stopped doing.

[20:16]

I never told myself I should stop doing them. But somehow I notice I don't do them. There's something about this direct experiencing of the three marks as it informs us deeply, as it informs our body, informs our being below just what we think. Something starts to shift. And certainly from that perspective, you might say, well, then isn't asking yourself, what's my advice for myself, isn't that a kind of corruption? I would say not.

[21:20]

I think when we're in retreat, when we're in sushin, when our mind is deeply settled. It is true. Mostly the request is give over to the direct experiencing that's happening. When we're in a more active life, I think it's realistic to remember that being in a more active life, our personal preferences, our agendas, our psychological issues are also more active. And that we can relate to them skillfully right in the realm of thinking and intention. We're quite capable of pausing and in that moment of pause saying to ourself, okay, wait a minute.

[22:24]

What's really going on here? Is this the appropriate response? It's a little bit like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the more available it is. The more we make this shift out of the world, according to me, into direct experiencing, the more we do that, the more we learn to trust it. And there's something about the more we learn to do it. Being in the moment is an exacting request. You have to give something up. You have to give something up. You have to give up the way you're utterly committed to the world according to me. Now usually, that's way too dangerous and scary a proposition.

[23:32]

So we come at it with a much more innocent and less scurry question by just saying, what's happening? We come at it, we sit down, we sit upright, and just be available to the moment. And in that process, discipline, non-attachment, equanimity, attentiveness, letting go, all these attributes are being discovered directly, are being practiced with. And the fruits of them in revealing the three marks coming into our being.

[24:39]

Or more exactly, something in how existence is being experienced is less the world according to me and more the nature of what is. So samādhi happens on a continuum. In terms of continuous contact, We can make contact every couple of minutes. You're sitting there, your mind goes off, you come back. But then as we continue to sit, we discover what it is to make contact on a more regular basis. Can the contact be in a matter of seconds? And for almost all of us, there's a very personal journey and exploration to go from one to the other.

[25:52]

Almost all of us have to deal with, have to learn how to work with the compelling personal psychological issues that take us away from the moment. So like in the lecture last week and the last couple of weeks and in the class too, talking about working with the breath. In the early sutta, anapanasati, the primary emphasis is on breath work as a way to soften and release and steady. Because even though we have a strong conviction and attachment to the world, according to me, and letting go of it's problematic, clinging to it's also problematic. And discovering within our practice, within the technique of practice, what is that kind of settling?

[27:07]

Discovering within working with the breath. What is it to release with the exhale? What is it to get in touch with a more subtle quivering of our anxiety and fear? as Anapanasati progresses, then it starts to move into exploration. What's happening and what is it to practice with it? So I would say we can learn from that there's something about being skillful and compassionate with our own being. It comes up quite early in our practice.

[28:10]

And I would say, as we continue to practice and we continue to open and we continue to go beyond the world, according to me, the request sustains itself. There's a continuing request to hold with compassion the ways in which we cling and avert in the service of trying not to suffer. It's the shared human condition. Can that register for us in a way that helps to loosen our sense of separation and alienation? And all the associated states that we attach to it.

[29:13]

And we explore within ourselves when and how is it skillful for me and appropriate for me to emphasize that compassion. And when is it skillful to emphasize some of the other attributes? The diligence. Your mind wanders, bring it back. Your mind wanders, bring it back. Your mind wanders, bring it back. If your mind wanders a thousand times in a period of zazen, bring it back a thousand times. That's how exacting Zazen is. But that can become tight. That can become about control. That can become evidence of your own inadequacy and self-criticism.

[30:31]

What is it for to be an act of appreciation of the intrinsic, compassionate connection of all of our being, both on the level of our suffering and on the deeper level of our interconnectedness. great number of our distractions are these great conversations we have in our head. Our yearning for interconnectedness. And so as we take up technique, as we take up

[31:40]

diligence, as we take up perseverance, that in the doing of it, it's leading us to more and more giving over, rather than more and more I'm moving towards the result that I think should happen. It's more and more we're giving over to what is. More and more, we're willingness to look at how it arises with the mind, with an attitude that has more a sense of appreciation than a determination to stop it being bad and make it be good. However, we're construing that. More and more, we enter the moment of awareness with a sense of curiosity rather than a conviction as to how it should be and should not be.

[32:49]

That when we move from reflection into rumination, that we're inclined more towards what's feeding that persistence. What is it about this topic, this feeling, that gives it such authority in my being? So our awareness, our curiosity, our mindfulness is available. We discover how it's available in all the mental states. So as we practice in the city, a lot of our time is within these active mental states. To remind ourselves, continuous contact does not mean continuous serenity.

[34:03]

Does not mean some state of mind of heart, of consciousness, never changes. It has much more to do with constant change and constant willingness to be part of what that change creates. To remind ourselves that absorption, that being absorbed in the moment, in one ways, indeed, as consciousness settles, as it becomes brighter. That is true. But it's enormously informative to know who we are in those more active states, because that's where we are most of the time.

[35:13]

And as we keep coming back to this process, continuity of contact starts to reveal itself, how that can be brought about. How does it flow from this activity to that activity, from this interaction to this moment of silence? And Prajna, quite naturally, insight quite naturally arises. What I'm trying to say is there's something extraordinary, organic about this process.

[36:23]

The moment is exactly what it is. And the fact that we have so much to say about it is only a problem when we make it so. The challenge of our practice is to see it, to see this great response to what is that arises out of our human wish to be alive. That nirvana and samsara arise from the same ground, this is the third characteristic. we enter through intention. And with the disposition of curiosity and kindness, something comes forth continually.

[37:41]

concentration, samadhi, is not the product of superhuman effort. It's more the product of getting out of our own way. It's more the product of deeply, deeply realizing that already whatever is needed to wake up is right here.

[38:28]

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