This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. If you want more room, please come forward. If you want more room, please just... So good morning, everybody. And I feel like I should say, Marcus, I feel like I should say good morning, everyone I can see. And good morning, everyone who's on the other end of this kind of camera and wireless connection. We're also joined by friends in Chicago and in New Mexico and Arizona and in Dallas. and a number of other places today.

[01:01]

And those people, and in San Francisco, actually, there's some people in San Francisco who are watching from home, listening from home because they're not well and are enjoying the lecture from home. So... I really appreciate everybody's patience in having this livestream experiment go on because it gives access to a lot of different people who otherwise wouldn't be able to come. For us, that means being even more present here with each other today. And you should know that the camera is trained on me. and not on you. So anxiety that's felt about being in the presence of the camera should go this way.

[02:04]

Okay? Also, anxiety about mistakes in the Dharma, this way. Enjoyment of the presence and resources of the Dharma, universal. Okay? So today, is the end of the first week of a six-week practice period that we're doing here at City Center. And it's also a beautiful Saturday. So some of us will be sitting here all day, and some of us will be leaving the Buddha Hall and going outside, after this lecture. So what I would like to suggest is that the people who are sitting here today sit for the benefit of everyone. And the people who are going outside, could you please get a few minutes of sunshine for the people who are inside?

[03:17]

So whether we're enjoying internal or external sunshine or both today, We're all here because of awakening, because of the Buddha's awakening and because of our own. And in that light, I'd like to speak today about meditative stabilization, how we settle ourselves on ourselves, and particularly about the... very flavorful, juicy stabilization called the divine abidings of friendliness, compassion, sympathetic or empathetic joy, and equanimity. So, how many people are here for the first time today? Welcome.

[04:21]

Welcome. Okay. So if I use any big words that don't make sense to anybody, could you please just raise your hand and I'll try to explain a little bit more. Here at San Francisco Zen Center, we're the 92nd, 93rd, and 91st through 94th generation, I think here, of people who are studying the way of the Buddha. And so in our lineage, our transmission, comes through us from the Buddha generation by generation, warm hand to warm hand.

[05:28]

And our transmission, the practice that we do also comes horizontally from one person to the person next to them or from one situation to the situation next to them. And Part of our transmission in both directions, whether it's vertical or horizontal, part of our transmission is called Shikantaza, which means just sitting. And part of our transmission is called Sokushinzebutsu, which means this very mind is Buddha. And these disciplines of sitting... and of seeing this very mind as Buddha, are taught as a response to the uncomfortable qualities of human life.

[06:32]

So zazen is the meditation practice that we do, and it's a very simple practice. It involves sitting down and then sitting upright, with complete attention on posture and breathing, breath after breath, no matter what comes up. So sometimes it's more effortful and sometimes it's less. But the main characteristic of zazen is that we come into being just as we are. And it's taught as a response for suffering. why would it be helpful for suffering or for the discomfort of human life? Well, you know, in usual... I'll answer that question. So in usual human life, we think that the problem is out there.

[07:36]

You know? We think that our suffering is because of another person, because of an institution, a law, or a situation outside of our control, or because of this inconvenient culture that we're either part of or not part of, depending on what's happening today. And we usually objectify our suffering, put it at arm's length, and then have painful feelings in relation to it. And that's how suffering arises. And so the Buddha spent his entire adult life first trying to understand, to penetrate, and then trying to teach about suffering as it actually is, not suffering as we think it is.

[08:40]

So his teaching... was a very clear-eyed view that the main conditions of human suffering are personal. The main conditions that we can do anything about, that is, are personal. It's not that things don't arise. It's not that there isn't unfairness, because there is. It's not that there isn't inconvenience, because there is. It's not that there... isn't sickness, old age, and death, because absolutely there is. But what makes that into suffering? What translates that from a karmically neutral event to something that we suffer over? Well, those conditions are here, not there. It doesn't mean blame.

[09:42]

because only a tiny fraction of those conditions are actually visible to us. And many of those conditions arise sometimes from generations or eons of human experience, or they're sometimes even hardwired into our perceptual process. But the clear-eyed view is that... whether it's accessible or whether it's buried rather deep in the past or inside of ourselves, that much of our suffering is ultimately accessible to us by looking at ourselves. So suffering actually builds up from a process of separation that starts with the separation from ourselves or from something around us so maybe someone could suggest something that's uncomfortable or painful does anybody have a something that's uncomfortable or painful to suggest ice cubes down the shirt perfect okay ice cubes down the shirt

[11:13]

So ice cubes down the shirt. How many people like ice cubes down the shirt? I'm just asking. Okay. So you might not relate to this example. How about ice cubes down the shirt in winter? Is there anyone who likes ice cubes down the shirt in winter? Okay, outside. Okay. So I think we've hit on something that's universally we would have a feeling of aversion to. So, ultimately speaking, if you take a very broad scientific point of view, ice cubes down the shirt in winter, outside, is a phenomenon that's karmically neutral. For instance, we can describe it in non-aversive terms. Ice cubes down the shirt in winter is a neutral term.

[12:15]

Can you hear that? It's not like, ugh, ice cubes down the shirt in winter, or those awful ice cubes, or I can't stand ice cubes. It's not like that. It's simply a description of a phenomenon. So for instance, ice cubes down a flaming shirt in winter and ice cubes down my shirt in winter are two different things to us. So the very first thing that happens when we hear the description, ice cubes down the shirt in winter, is a slight separation from the neutrality of that event. Ever so slight separation. And then we have an emotional reaction to it, a slight feeling of, in most cases, I think, aversion, because I couldn't find anyone who really liked it.

[13:15]

that experience in winter. And from that slight feeling of aversion comes a description, a very basic description of a perception like cold or wet or cold and wet and then sticky and burning. You know, some very basic description. And many of those words that we'll use in that description have a further emotional tone for us. The description builds until finally there's a fully-fledged, elaborate, motivational description, like, ice cubes down the shirt in winter. Ah! Get them away! Okay? So that's how we function. Now, usually it's not so dramatic.

[14:18]

Usually the event is not so dramatic. But sometimes it is. And our usual reaction to this process of description, even when it's a much simpler event, is either to repress, deny, or armor ourselves against that event, like, ice cubes down the shirt in winter. Or, ice cubes down the shirt in winter never happen. Why should I even think about it? You know, that's repressing or denying the potential discomfort, particularly if it's actually happening. Or else we would distract ourselves with a vacation from ice cubes down the shirt in winter. by thinking about something else, or let's say it's not ice cubes down the shirt, let's say it's noise in the apartment.

[15:22]

We take a vacation, we go away. Can I come over for a while? I have to get away from my apartment where there's noise, or that kind of thing. Or else, when it's really bad or really prolonged, we succumb. You know, something... happens to us as a result of that prolonged situation. But the basic pattern is that we objectify our experience and we either adrenalinize, whether approaching it or running away from it, or we numb ourselves from it. That's the basic pattern. Or we're confused by it. So so many things happen as reactions to events. But zazen is one of the few human activities that's absolutely free from that reactive process.

[16:30]

So in zazen, when we sit, we develop a body that's upright no matter... whether there's pain, that's open no matter whether there's thinking, that's deep no matter whether our particular thoughts of the moment are shallow. And so we start with posture and with breathing and establish a physical, emotional, and mental container that's tall enough wide enough and deep enough to hold anything that arises. And that's why we do it. It allows us to actually experience freedom. And in this process of freedom,

[17:39]

breath after breath, moment after moment. What becomes important isn't the objectified quality of our experience, but the taste of our experience, both the one taste, which we can taste similarly again and again, breath after breath, or the varied taste that doesn't disturb us. Suzuki Roshi called this things as it is, which is the one taste, things as they are, which is the different taste. And I want to unpack zazen a little bit to understand how to practice it today. To do that, I want to look at the old name of zazen.

[18:44]

One of the old names of zazen is shamatha vipassana, shikan. Shikantaza is another name for zazen, and it means with shamatha and vipassana, with stabilization and with seeing, just at the moment it is, that experience comes to us. Taza means hit, sit. Hit means experience comes to meet us in a direct way. And this practice period we're focusing in particular on shamatha, which is the stabilization aspect of zazen, the part that allows us to just sit here for whatever arises. And other practice periods, we will focus on vipassana, which means insight into whatever arises, into ourself or into the world as it is.

[19:53]

The benefit of shamatha or stabilization, the main benefit is that it's imperturbable and continuous. It provides a foundation for experience. of the dharmas, of the things that happen as liberation rather than as frustration or suffering. And the important part for us, I think, is that when we practice shamatha, our intention and attention can become integrated with each other physically, emotionally, and mentally. That not only is our intention integrated, so the attention of the body, the attentiveness of the body and the attentiveness of mind is integrated. But also it's freed because we keep cultivating the ground, we keep working with the physical and mental basis of continuity.

[21:10]

So Dogen Zenji, the founder of our school in Japan, says he gives a lot of meditation instructions, like adjust our robes, place one leg over the other, or we can say sit in a balanced way in a chair, place the arms so that the hands are one on top of the other. Sit upright, neither leaning to the left nor to the right, nor forward nor backward. And sit with the eyes half open to receive light. So he gives many instructions. But the one he begins with is... Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views, and have no designs on becoming a Buddha because zazen has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you're sitting or whether you're lying down.

[22:28]

That's the main instruction. And then he continues, think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. That's the insight part. So we're going to go into the cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views part that hardly anybody pays much attention to. They tend to focus on think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. This is the essential art of zazen. But how do you cease the movements of the conscious mind? You know, conscious mind also means conscious physical experience, conscious emotional experience. And that has a big tail, a big tail that goes all the way down into our unconscious experience, which is often painful or unseen. So I think maybe the first step for...

[23:34]

people in this modern world is to relax because we're adrenalinized. So the first thing is to find safety and to relax. Well, what if you can't find safety? What if there's a subject that you're returning to again and again? What if you're worried about the posture itself? potentially hurting you, like, oh no, I can't sit that way, my knee won't work that way. Well, rather than fighting, to actually pay attention to, deal with, handle, take care of, find support for that kind of question, the kind that you can't, that gives you an obstacle to your safety or to your feeling of the resources you need, for today's sitting, you have to find that help.

[24:38]

You have to ask for that help. And you have to keep asking for it until you receive it to your satisfaction, whether it's from another person, whether it's from your own body, whether it's from your boundaries, you know, whether it's from any... any resource that you need. You have to find the help to establish safety in the moment for yourself. And a sense of resource in the practice, like this is here for me, this person is here for me, this sangha is here for me. That you have to establish. If you can't find it in the present moment, then find it in Buddhas and bodhisattvas and awakened people and people who are interested in awakening down through the ages.

[25:41]

They're resources for each of us. In anyone who's ever helped you in your life. In any experience of comfort you've ever had and what it was like. Rely on your experience that's wholesome experience and not some idea. that can be a resource for practice, even if it's hard to find in the present moment. You have to know your intention in sitting down. So an example of intention is, I want a relief from the suffering in my life, or I want to wake up in a way that helps everyone and not just myself. or I intend to integrate body, speech, and mind.

[26:43]

Those are examples of intention. Or even I intend to stay in the present today. I intend to stay with this moment today. There are traditional meditation subjects of which... this practice period we're focusing on friendliness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. And these are universally helpful subjects. So that's why we're focusing on them. But when we sit down... I think the first thing is to find the places where we are unsafe, and particularly the areas in which we participate in our own unsafety or lack of safety. Like, for instance, if you're not sure that bending your knee a certain way is wholesome for you, if you're really not sure, don't do it.

[27:50]

Find advice about how to bend your knee. If you're experiencing a conflict, find help or at least develop the intention to find help. Whatever it is that is difficult to bear in the present moment, find a way to assure yourself to your satisfaction. that you are taking care of it or that you will take care of it. Then you may be able to relax. Do you need to take care of your posture? So de-adrenalinize, re-feel, disentangle from what's tangling you up.

[28:53]

so that you don't have to make huge efforts or burn out in a gross way in any part of yourself, whether it's your knees, your back, your sense of security, your sense of companionship, your sense of confidence in your health. Make sure that you are with yourself in that way. And then begin to work with the foundation or the alignment, the part of our experience that needs to continue moment after moment for a sense of peace. So that uprightness, you can cultivate it. Let's say... When I sit down, I'm not sure that sitting is good for my back.

[30:01]

I actually think it is good for my back, but let's suppose I didn't. Well, for my body, the reason why I might think that it was not good is that I get a pain in the middle of my back between my shoulder blades. But on examination, I find that I receive that pain in the middle of my shoulder blades because... my head is being held forward of my chest. So can I strengthen the muscles period after period, taking rests when I need to, can I strengthen those muscles so that I can work towards bringing my head over my shoulders? So that's an example in a very conventional way. of something that I can do, first to stop doing things that give me a lack of confidence about my safety, and then begin to build up a feeling of confidence about my safety, my alignment, and so on.

[31:09]

And even once my body is strong enough in those muscles, a sense of continuity in the upright relationship of my head and my shoulders. and then begin to bring it to life. Begin to find a sense of vividness, whether it's in the posture, whether it's in your social safety, whether it's in your basic sense of purpose in life, whatever is important to each one of us, a sense of vividness in that exploration. In the sitting, once you stop doing things that are potentially harmful for you, and you establish a sense of stability and continuity physically and physiologically through body and breath, then you can monitor your posture and breathing and fine-tune your effort.

[32:16]

The Buddha said, don't pull the bowstring too taut. Don't let it release too much. So that when you slip off, you know. And that's when it really begins to come to life. Am I making sense to you, I hope? So when your body is like this and you maintain a sense of openness to life, then whatever arises, no matter what it is, it's safely held in that posture and in that continuity of breath. And when that happens, the sense of experiencing that we have moment after moment, breath after breath, begins to become educational instead of frustrating or hurtful.

[33:19]

Now, you might say, well, this won't work for me because mine is too intense for that. But I have to tell you that, you know, I know I have worked with people who started this practice on their deathbeds who were in the most intense physical pain imaginable and didn't have any particular talent. who were able to do this because they realized that this was it, that they better do it now. And I personally have worked with this in situations of really deep and painful suffering in my own life. And it works. But I don't know that it works for everybody. I just think it might. You know, so prove me wrong.

[34:29]

If it doesn't work, tell me. Because then we'll learn together what the Buddha's way really is in your body, the way of awakening, what it really is, how it really plays out in your body, in your mind, in your history, in your circumstances. Think of some impossible circumstance. That's the circumstance that we have to test. But first we have to test easier circumstances so that we understand the practice itself in an unshakable way. So when we first start practicing shamatha or stability, if you... pay attention to the quality of your attention itself, you're going to notice that there are long periods of non-stability and very, very tiny occasional blips of stability that are so tiny and occasional, you think, was this an accident?

[35:42]

Did that really happen? You know, sometimes it could take years. But Darlene said, Surae Darlene Cohen, one of my Dharma friends, was talking about, we were talking about pain one time, and she said, you know, she was working with rheumatoid arthritis, and she actually made a decision, after all the other drugs stopped working, she made a decision to take a risky drug that she knew could have very severe side effects. And she made the decision to take it because she wanted to retain her capacity for enjoyment in the present. And the drug worked, and it gave her cancer, and she died. She made that trade-off. It was an adult choice.

[36:43]

But she told me, first of all, it was worth it because... she was able to maintain a very high quality of life and do everything that she needed to do. But also, because she was able to live out her path, which was amidst all the painful experiences, what experience is not painful and even enjoyable? How do I find my delightful experience? How do I find my delight? And that delight was nourishing. That was the continuity on which she was able to turn her suffering into insight. So at first it was very hard for her. Thank you for the kitchen.

[37:43]

At first it was very hard for her, she told me. because there would be long, long times when all she could feel was pain. But once she got the hang of it, of looking for the non-painful experience, she could much more easily find it, and eventually that experience of delight became continuous, almost continuous. So it became long swaths of delight. with occasional pain. That's progression of shamatha. It's not that she wasn't in pain. It's that she was in touch with her whole life instead of just the difficult parts of it. So she took up the subject of delight, and then over time, through practice, through feeding that intention, She was able to find what was delightful in the midst of her life more and more until finally it was long periods of delight with small periods of intense suffering that she couldn't bear.

[39:00]

And finally, she was able to drop the delight and just stay with her experience no matter what it was, knowing that she could find the delight or she could penetrate the suffering, whatever was necessary. I think she's a great, great, great example. I can't say enough greats. Also extremely mischievous and human in every way. So what she would do, what she would do, and what I do, and what I think we all need to do, is once we are experiencing occasional moments of connection with our subject, to return to it when we lose it, to establish continuity, when it's friendliness. Why don't we start with friendliness towards our own body, our own mind, our own emotions, to...

[40:08]

not objectify them. That's the first step. And just as a foretaste of what is to come, if whatever arises, you can be friendly with it without letting it take you over. Then, after a while, you can begin to stay with the painful parts of it, and that's called compassion, compassion towards oneself. towards another person, towards a situation. You'll be able to see someone who doesn't have that suffering, doesn't have back pain, doesn't have to deal with ice cubes down the back in winter, or whatever it is, without envying them, but actually being glad to see that there is an example of such a thing. And you'll be able to be in peace with whatever arises, whatever it is, whatever triggers it has offered you in the past.

[41:19]

So there's so many koans, stories, poems, and so on about shamatha and vipassana, about zazen. But the one I want to offer you is just a very simple poem from China and in translation. I don't know the Chinese for this poem anymore. But here it is. It's by Wang Wei. In my middle years, I've become rather fond of the way. Sometimes I go alone into the forest to see the things that only I can see.

[42:20]

I follow the stream to the source and sit and wait and watch the clouds come up. Or... Perhaps I meet a woodman and we laugh and sing and forget the way home. So in my middle years, I've become rather fond of the way. Sometimes I go alone into the forest to see the things that only I can see. Going alone is shamatha. Seeing is vipassana. I follow the stream to the source, which means in shamatha to stop in the middle of the karmic stream instead of being pushed downstream to allow ourselves to turn and walk upstream, upright,

[43:34]

moment by upright moment, breath by breath. Until I come to the source where I sit and watch the clouds, the obstacles come up, the things, the experiences. Or perhaps I meet a woodsman We laugh, we sing, we forget the way home. Sorry, it was a fake out. Gosh, it was a fake out. But it's true. This is things as it is, okay? This is things as they are, okay? Things as it is, left hand. Things as they are, right hand. Can you see both your hands? Okay, now. Thank you very much. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[44:59]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[45:02]

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