Good morning. Good morning. As we were chanting right now. I think you need to turn it up. It's not picking up any sign. Could you turn up a little leaf? As we were chanting right now, the thought came to my mind of the tragedy that happened to the Amish community, as I'm sure you've all read in the papers. And I was thinking of, you know, how poignant the tragedy it is in a community that has very purposefully

[01:04]

and dedicatedly set itself aside to try to live in a simple and sincere way. It would be ravished by that kind of violence. And thinking, well, this is the suffering of our world. This is Iraq. This is Darfur. This is so many places in our world. And I thought maybe we could just for a moment sit in silence, you know, to just hold this, to let this be witnessed, acknowledged that this kind of suffering is in our world and perhaps asking us to hold it in our hearts to offer our compassion. So let's just sit for a moment. You know, all of this reminds me of a couple of lines from a poem that say that before you can know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know suffering as the other deepest thing.

[03:55]

I don't know if that's true, but somehow it sort of rings true when things like this happen. I don't know if you know, but there were a couple of particulars of that tragedy that are to my mind astonishing. The first is that the Amish community, two days after the tragedy, invited the family of the man who shot the little girls, his wife and family, to come. because they were thinking how much they must be suffering, how much they must need support, how they wanted to express their acknowledgement of that. And so they brought them and they started a fund for her support. They take up a collection in their community to support her and her family.

[04:57]

And then the other astonishing thing was when the story came out, that the eldest little girl who was shot, when they were all lined up, that she said, shoot me first. I'm the oldest. Shoot me and spare the others. How amazing the human spirit is. amazing and perplexing and confusing tragedy and brutality can be mixed with such unfathomable selflessness and goodness maybe it is that before we can know kindness we need to know suffering or maybe

[06:05]

It's just something that the workings of our heart, of our nobility, are stirred in such mysterious ways. I think our life, in particularly the difficulties, and suffering of our life asks us to hold still, asks us to let something register. Ask us to let it register in a way that it cuts through and draws out of us such qualities. What did that little girl learn to be such a person?

[07:10]

What kind of experiences or teachings or example was she exposed to? What religion or spiritual practice could not bow before such a way of being? that kind of courage and selflessness and extraordinary generosity and reverence for all being. In some ways it goes beyond any artifice, it goes beyond any strategy or plan we can have for our spiritual practice.

[08:18]

It's as if nothing we can conjure up can manufacture the magnificence of a human spirit. And yet it makes sense to try. And I think both of these are part of how, especially in the Zen tradition, how we hold the practice. In some ways, it's going beyond our agendas. It's going beyond the formulations that we create for it. It's allowing something bigger, something freer, something more courageous to happen. And then in another way, it's engaging the life we have, looking at what is going on and relating to it as consciously and attentively and skillfully as we can.

[09:32]

And it's coming together to do that. This morning after lecture, we're going to have our annual meeting. I actually think a lot about what is Zen Center. It's kind of great to be somewhere for 30 years and then ask yourself, what is this? What's going on? Sometimes it's a very real question. Really not so sure what's going on. Or what Zen Center is or is not. Is it a bindery to Sangha? To Sangha? Is there anyone who's not part of our sangha? But how do we create an organization? How do we be with each other in a way that keeps us close, that returns us, that supports us to be with our life in a way that reflects something of the magnificence of that little girl?

[10:50]

reflects something of the forgiveness and tolerance of that Amish community. What would Zen Center look like? What would it be like if that was fully expressed, fully engaged? I think these are wonderful questions to ask. And in one way, the answer is, it's almost like get out of our own way. Let something come out of us. Hold our short suffering, the suffering of our world. In all its ferocity.

[11:51]

And let it melt whatever it is within us. That's rigid and reserved and self-centered. Perpetuating our own sense of disconnect, our own sense of separation, our own sense of dissatisfaction. some way of coming together, maybe in silence, or maybe with a certain kind of humility, that there's something that we'll never figure out. At any time we're convinced of our own way of codifying it, this is how you do it, this is how you don't do it. At any time we're convinced of that, then we really need to stop and pause.

[13:00]

And then also I think there is a way in which there are teachings, there are guidance. We have the heritage of all the Buddhas and ancestors of Buddhism and we have the heritage of young Amish girls showing us how to give yourself completely. in the midst of tragedy. That we can learn from each other, that we can support each other, that we can guide each other, and that our own lives can be the Dharma, can be the teaching of what practice is and how to practice it. So at this period of time, the theme that we're working with is the paramitas, the ways to express this complete state of being that this little girl so amazingly expressed in a moment of complete crisis.

[14:43]

and fierce violence. You know, what is going on in our society that these things are happening? It seems like right now there's a rash of them. Desperately angry men, usually young men, driven express destruction, including themselves. How do we hold that in a way that guides our practice? How do we hold our own suffering?

[15:52]

How do we hold our own violence and sense of separation? I think one of the notions of Sangha is that collectively it brings us back to this sensibility. That we see it in each other and we offer it to each other. And certainly our tradition places great reliance on Zazen. And certainly the primary expression of Zazen is cross-legged upright sitting. But really that's just an initiation.

[16:59]

That's just a way to bring ourselves into the territory of full being. Full being that instances like this in our shared existence express for us, that they offer us the opportunity to pause and experience fully. How can we sit and open up to the complete amazing power of our shared human life? It's tragedy and it's nobility. It's ferocity and it's capacity for selfless kindness. That is Zazen.

[18:05]

And Zazen is also standing up and living that. So how to live that? So one of the paramitas, one of the expressions of complete being is sila. Behavior that expresses this complete way of being. And the guidelines are the principles that support this complete well-being. Knowing that in one way, it goes beyond any description we want to offer it. And that any formulation we make up to prescribe it has a limitation.

[19:07]

that the nobility of the human spirit in a mysterious way goes beyond the thoughts and constructs we try to hold it within and this is also the basic practice of Zazen Zazen is not simply what we think Zazen is or what we think being in the moment is. It's going beyond what we think and experiencing directly. So what supports us to do that? What supports us to tap into this capacity that's extraordinary in its kindness and its courage and its wisdom the response to that question is in Buddhist times called sila maybe we can codify it as precepts and certainly

[20:42]

they offer us some support and some guidance and sometimes going beyond the afflictions the ways in which we get stuck has the dramatic expression that that young Amrish go give it but sometimes It's as simple as just opening your hand and letting the ordinaryness of the moment be itself. This poem is trying to get at some of that flavor. That it's not so far away. It's not so exotic. It's not one peak experience that happens in a hundred lifetimes. It's just as available on a gray Saturday morning in San Francisco.

[21:54]

The fog lifted early. I was working in the garden. Hummingbirds were stopping over honeysuckle flowers. There was no thing on earth I wanted to possess. I knew no one worthy of my envy. Whatever evil I'd suffered, I forgot. To think that once I was the same person did not embarrass me. In my body, I felt in ease. Straightening up, I saw the blue sky. So yes, there are powerful and dramatic moments, but in another way, every moment has its availability.

[22:57]

This is also an aspect of being just this, of letting just this express itself rather than trying to control it or avoid it. or make it more than it already is. So how do we discover the guidelines that help us to stay true, to stay close? We discover it by living the life we already are, by making direct contact and letting that inform us rather than living within the descriptions, the memories, the fears, the longings, the stories about who we are and what our life is.

[24:13]

Can we keep returning to the moment? Can we keep letting the moment tell us what reality is rather than layering upon it our fears and yearnings and the conclusions we draw from that? Can we keep coming back together and being as real and open as we can with each other? Can we make that a practice? carry that with us wherever we go. Now this is sila. This is the way of being that expresses the Dharma and brings forth the Dharma. The teachings of how to live completely. Of how to be the life we already are.

[25:18]

So being, teaching and interconnectedness are sangha. It's a very interesting proposition to take a heritage from Japan and try to plant it in the United States. What should we hold true to? And what should we discard? What should we say? Well, that's just a cultural attribute of the Japanese way. And what should we say? This is an essential part of practice. Do the Amish need to drive around in horse and buggies? If they didn't drive around in horse and buggies, would they still be Amish?

[26:28]

Zen people didn't wear funny black robes. Would they still be Zen people? Interesting questions to my mind. But I think also as a community they are Provocative questions. And I think of all of you as part of the community. Whether you live here or come here once a year, somehow the fact that we're all here together in this room this morning means our lives are touching and influencing each other. And we have this collective challenge. How do we... allow basic goodness to flourish?

[27:34]

How do we address whatever malaise is in our society that gives rise to these senseless outbursts of violence? I hope you'll feel invited to offer up your wisdom on the subject. You know, the finder of Zen Center, Suzuki Roshi, Shunryo Suzuki Roshi, his notion was always that

[28:38]

Through doing the practice in this environment, we discover how to do the practice in this environment. It's simply a learning through doing. That the shape of Zen Center, what we offer, what we do and what we don't do, will hopefully be deeply informed by personal experience of each one of us and the collective experience. So one of the benefits of having an annual meeting is that we can remind ourselves the uniqueness of this opportunity. Now that here is this precious practice coming from another country to this one, still in the process of shaping itself, of expressing itself, and that we are the vessel through which it gets transformed.

[29:54]

It's our collective experience of it that can guide us. What helps? What doesn't help? What ways of coming together? Last night a small group of us went to look at a piece of live art in the mission. And then afterwards we went to a cafe and we were discussing the notion of viral generosity. Is it a way to engage generosity that would make it appealing and enticing and spreading? And in a way we were just kidding it right.

[30:58]

And in a way we weren't kidding it right. you know living in a consumer society we're living in a society that's encouraging us enticing us into having more and giving away less you know we see the consequences you know you just have to look at the statistics of violence and mental illness to see It's not such a great plan. It's not such a great plan to devote large sums of money to war and small sums of money to education. So are these kind of questions beyond the consideration of a spiritual community or more particularly this particular Zen center? Are these something we should collectively address?

[32:04]

Difficult questions, and I consider these difficult questions. I don't know if you do, but I do. I think difficult questions should be respected. Because they really ask us to know what we're about. What is it fundamentally that we're about? And challenge us to express it in our personal lives and our collective lives. I think it's very easy in the world as it is to just feel overwhelmed. Every day there's a thousand tragedies, atrocities. It's such a relief to just go to the sports page and see who won in the playoffs.

[33:17]

Not that we should deny ourselves those moments of relief or enjoyment, but also to recognize that this is our world. This is our society. This is our Zen center. This is the body and breath of this one life. This is where I am. This is where I'm living. I don't live in any other body or in any other place. It's right here and right now. You know, this week we had a ceremony where someone, Dana, righty Dana. Hiding right in front of me. for this fall, she becomes the head monk.

[34:27]

The example. The perfection of practice. And we had the entering ceremony. And as you might suspect, she said, this is too big for me. There's too much responsibility. I can't do it. Yeah. This world, this light, It's too much. It's too big. I can't do it. I can't hold a thousand tragedies every day. I just want to be okay. I just want to get by. I just want to not suffer too much and have a little happiness. Yeah. We all do. And yet, this is our world. Can we be a sangha? Can we support each other in a way that lets us have the capacity to look at this world, this life courageously and honestly?

[35:38]

You know, I wish I had a clear, cogent, precise way to do that. But I'm not so sure it would be that useful. I think it might thwart us from that capacity of going beyond all our own prescriptions. Could you ever come up with a prescription that would ensure that a young girl would say, shoot me first? So we can trust the nobility of the human spirit. The capacity is already there. And we should hold in our hearts and in our minds the magnitude of what it is to live on this planet, of what it is to become one people, of what it is

[36:57]

to be a Sangha of what it is to live in this body with this mind with all its oddities and limitations and let it be fully lived. This is our challenge. No matter how we want to call ourselves Zen students, Amish, community, Muslims, Christians, anything, everything, I would say still we have this challenge. So let me end with a poem by Kabir. Here's how he talked about it. Are you looking?

[37:58]

I'm in the next seat. My shoulder is against yours. You'll not find me in stupas or in an Indian shrine or in synagogues or in cathedrals or in masses or curtains or legs winding around your neck or eating nothing but vegetables. When you look for me, you'll see me instantly. When you find, you'll find me in the tiniest house of time. Kabir says, student, tell me, what is it? It is the breath inside the breath. Thank you.

[38:40]

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