We will now begin today's Dharma talk offered by senior Dharma teacher, Tenshin Rev. Anderson. We will now chant the , which should appear on your screen now. we vow with all beings from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the true dharma that upon hearing it no doubt will arise in us nor will we lack in faith

[01:05]

that upon meeting it we shall renounce worldly affairs and maintain the buddha dharma and that in doing so the great earth and all living beings together will attain the buddha way although our past evil karma has greatly accumulated indeed being the cause and condition of obstacles in practicing the way May all Buddhas and ancestors who have attained the Buddha way be compassionate to us and free us from karmic effects, allowing us to practice the way without hindrance. May they share with us their compassion, which fills the boundless universe with the virtue of their enlightenment and teachings. Buddhas and ancestors of old, whereas we, we in the future shall be Buddhas and ancestors. Revering Buddhas and ancestors, we are one Buddha and one ancestor.

[02:12]

Awakening Bodhi mind, we are one Bodhi mind. Because they extend their compassion to us freely and without limit. We are able to attain Buddhahood and let go of the attainment. Therefore, the Chan master Lungya said, those who in past lives were not enlightened will now be enlightened. Liberate the body, which is the fruit of this many lives. Before Buddhas were enlightened, they were the same as we. Enlightened people of today are exactly as those of old. Quietly explore the farthest reaches of these causes and conditions, as this practice is the exact transmission of a verified Buddha. Confessing and repenting in this way, one never fails to receive profound help from all Buddhas and ancestors.

[03:21]

By revealing and disclosing our lack of faith and practice before the Buddha, we melt away the root of transgressions by the power of our confession and repentance. This is the pure and simple color of true practice, the true mind of faith, the true body of faith. Did you hear that? A suspicious activity has been detected on my Amazon account.

[04:30]

light and my light just went out so i'm going to move this light over here there uh so i'm as you might know i'm i'm in a place called green gulch green dragon temple And we have been respectfully and diligently following the protocols of our Health and Safety Committee here in this valley. And so far, no one has become infected with the virus.

[05:50]

So we are blessed and fortunate. Also, we have enough food. And we have good air. And today, we have a blessed rain in our area, which has had fires and drought, today we have rain. I could go on and on about all the blessings that the people in this valley have been receiving. And at the same time, that we receive these benefits we also fortunately are aware that many other beings are sick and don't have enough to eat and are living in bad air and we're aware of that here

[07:20]

I'm aware that this valley where we live, where we are blessed to live, was taken from indigenous people by European immigrants. They took it from the Native Americans who lived here. We didn't receive this valley to live in as a gift from the people who used to live here. And the food we eat and the blessings we receive have come at the expense of slave labor and unjustly cheap labor So at the same time as enjoying the fruits, we also feel the pain of injustice and cruelty that has been done for hundreds of years.

[08:47]

mentioned to some friends a few days ago that I heard that the task of a historian is to preserve the memory of suffering so that we can read their accounts and not forget suffering. And I also mentioned another statement, which is that the highest level of ethical development is to not feel at home, even when you're in your own home. Even when you're on your own home, realize the extent to which your own home comes at the suffering of others.

[10:06]

So we do have homes, we are blessed, and also we're not, or at least I'm not completely at home. I am called by the suffering of the world to practice compassion to practice responding to it in a way that will promote liberation from suffering that will promote peace and harmony in the midst of great suffering So I start with my situation because that's where I practice. And I guess I wish to set that example and encourage you to start with where you are right now and practice with your situation.

[11:21]

Another way to talk about our situation is that we may not be able to see. It may not appear that the world is at peace and in harmony. We may feel surrounded by a lack or at least incomplete peace and harmony. Even while we aspire to work for peace and harmony, for justice and kindness among all beings, it may not appear. So I start by suggesting that in a world where I do not see peace and harmony, I practice with peace and harmony in order to see, to realize peace and harmony.

[12:46]

Now, I've heard that the Buddha sees all suffering beings, hears all suffering beings. sees all forms of injustice and cruelty, sees all forms of greed, hatred and delusion. And simultaneously the Buddha sees peace and harmony among all beings. I imagine the Buddha feels pain when the Buddha sees all the greed, hate and delusion among living beings, that the Buddha feels pain at the appearance of injustice and cruelty. At the same time, the Buddha feels inconceivable joy

[14:00]

at seeing the Dharma and seeing how to help people be at peace. The Buddha feels great joy at sharing life with all beings and teaching them how to realize liberation from suffering. So in a situation where the Buddha sees peace and harmony and sees beings who do not see peace and harmony, the Buddha gives a practice, a practice we can do with every situation, which is very short in a way, basic description, which is practice all virtue,

[15:06]

Be flexible, soft, harmonious, upright, and honest. Practice that way and you will see the Buddha right in front of you practicing that same way with you. The Buddha, of course, also practices all virtues. is flexible, unstuck, harmonious, honest and upright. And so the Buddha practices that way and the Buddha also sees the Buddha face to face. And one of our ancestors named Ehe Koso, whose verse I chanted at the beginning, interpreted the statement, practice all virtues, as meaning, enter the mud and water of all beings.

[16:43]

Enter the mud and water of all suffering. Listen to the cry of each living being. Listen to the cry of each drop of rain. Moment by moment, observe the suffering. Moment by moment, contemplate each being. Moment by moment, listen to and see each being. And each being means each sound of the wind, each drop of rain, each human face, the mountains, the waters, all the animals. Practice with all living beings, moment by moment. And how? By being gentle.

[17:47]

and soft with them. Careful and respectful. Harmonizing with them. Attuning to them. And being upright with them. Not leaning towards them or away from them. Not To avoid them to the right or the left. Being this way is the way the Buddha is. And being this way the way the Buddha is. Is to meet the Buddha. Receive the Dharma. And be in the assembly of the Buddha. The assembly of the Buddha is all living beings. All varieties of life are dealt with in this way, in this practice.

[18:54]

And dealing with things this way, we will see that this is what the Buddha is doing at the same time. In this way, we are, in a way, copying the Buddha's practice. We are copying imitating the way the Buddha is. Now, if I am practicing this way, which I am trying to practice, thoughts may arise in my mind And also, beings come to me and tell me the thoughts that arise in their minds when they try to practice this way. And I'd like to address some different types of dilemma which arise in the minds of people when they're trying to practice the way the Buddha practices.

[20:11]

So one thing that comes up is sometimes people are trying to, are devoted to wholeheartedly engaging with all beings, wholeheartedly engaging with whatever activity they are involved in. Wholeheartedly, again, means respectfully, flexibly. harmoniously, uprightly, and honestly. That's how to wholeheartedly practice in whatever situation we're in. And some people do want to practice that way, and yet they feel that they're not able to. when I say that then I think of the chant which I chanted and some of you chanted with me at the beginning which encourages and praises the practice of confessing and repenting any lack of faith and practice so

[21:49]

If we are trying to listen to all beings and be with each and every being in this wonderful Buddha way, and we notice that we're not wholehearted, one way we might feel is that we should go someplace else and be with some different situation And then we would be able to be wholehearted. Like go to Green Gulch and do a practice period with the wonderful people at Green Gulch. And then you would be able to be wholehearted. And people actually have that experience that they go to the temple, they go to the Zen temple. for a training experience, and they're more wholehearted. So then when they're not at the temple and they feel that they're not wholehearted, they might think, I should go back to the temple where I can be wholehearted.

[23:03]

Perfectly reasonable thought. And so what I want to emphasize is that when we have a thought like that, Do what the Buddha does with a thought, with all thoughts. If you have the thought, I want to be wholehearted in my meetings with every living being. I want to practice all virtues with every living being. I do. And I also understand, if I practice that way, I will see the Buddha. And meet the Buddha face to face. And the Buddha and I will practice the way together. And all beings will be liberated. That's what I want. But I'm not being wholehearted right now. So I want to go someplace where I can be wholehearted. When the Buddha sees that kind of thought, the Buddha practices with that thought.

[24:10]

The Buddha does not move. The Buddha is silent and still with the thought. I should go someplace else to practice so I can practice wholeheartedly. That thought, the Buddha does not skip over that thought. The Buddha meets that thought wholeheartedly. And in meeting that thought wholeheartedly, we will see the Buddha. In meeting the thought, I'm not practicing well, so I should go someplace else. Meet that thought wholeheartedly. And you will discover Buddha in that thought. And the Buddha would do the same thing with that thought. And then again, the person says, yes, but still, if I go to the temple, if I go to a training session, then I know what you're saying is true. And then I can see it will be true. So I want to go there.

[25:11]

I say, fine, don't skip over where you are right now. You're in Germany. You're in California. You're in Minnesota. You're in Washington. You're in Illinois. You're in England. You're in Sweden. You're in Italy. You're in France. You're in New York. You're in all of these places. In all of these places, Buddha is sitting where you are. Sitting where you are is Buddha. And sitting with your doubts. Wholeheartedly sitting with your doubts that you're practicing is Buddha. So again, people contact me and tell me they want to come here so they can practice.

[26:16]

I say, fine, but don't wait till you come here to practice. Practice right now. Don't move an inch. Practice with where you are now, including your doubts. And confess your doubts. Confess your lack of wholeheartedness. I'm not being wholehearted right now. Confess it wholeheartedly. Confess lack of wholeheartedness wholeheartedly. And you are practicing the Buddha way. But this dilemma does come up. Again, I'm trying to practice. I'm not doing very well. I should go someplace else. And, you know, one of the things that just popped in my head was I'm trying to practice. I'm not practicing very well. But I'm practicing wholeheartedly with not practicing well.

[27:21]

I'm actually hungry. And I think my blood sugar level is dropping. I'm getting tired. It's hard for me to pay attention to what I'm doing. And I need to pay attention to practice. However, I am paying attention. I'm noticing that I'm having a hard time. I'm noticing that I'm hungry. And I can go and have some food. which is appropriate without skipping over my hunger. I can practice wholeheartedly with my hunger while I go and get some food. Or I can skip over my hunger, which means not practicing with that living being, that hunger. The Buddha practices with her hunger right now. The Buddha practices with her pain right now. And she takes care of her hunger and her pain.

[28:27]

She takes care of her pain. She doesn't try to get rid of her pain. She practices compassion with her pain. She doesn't try to get rid of her hunger. She practices compassion with her hunger. She liberates her hunger by practicing compassion with it. And if she doesn't practice compassion with her hunger, she confesses and says she's sorry that she didn't practice compassion with her hunger. And when she confesses that she was not compassionate to her hunger, she's doing the same practice as Buddha. She's practicing the pure and simple color of true practice when she notices her lack of practice and confesses it and says she's sorry.

[29:33]

This is the pure and simple color of true practice of the Buddha. All these thoughts, all these dilemmas that arise in our mind are the muddy water that the Buddha enters. All these thoughts are sentient beings calling for our minute and thorough attention. Another dilemma that may come up, which does come up, is... Okay, I'm practicing with this mud and this water right now. I'm listening to the sound of the rain. I'm wholeheartedly attending to my doubts.

[30:34]

I'm wholeheartedly confessing my lack of faith. I'm wholeheartedly listening to this suffering person. I'm wholeheartedly reading about the history of injustice in this country. But what about all the other things that need attention, that I'm not attending to? What about all the other beings that I'm not taking care of? I'm sitting in a nice valley, With beautiful rain. And peaceful people. I'm taking care of. Being upright. Honest. Gentle. And harmonious. What are all. What am I doing for all the other people?

[31:37]

How can I just stay here in this. On this Buddha seat. that question arises, that doubt. And that doubt is also, again, calling for compassion. So I wholeheartedly practice with that doubt if I want to do the Buddha practice. The doubt that sitting in a peaceful place, practicing all virtue, being upright and not moving, and practicing all virtue, like the Buddha, that that addresses all the suffering which is not coming to me right now. That in fact, that is the transmission of this Buddha practice to all beings.

[32:38]

This is very difficult to understand, and so it's natural that we might doubt it. And we take care of that doubt. That doubt, when we take care of it, deepens our faith in practicing the way the Buddhas practice. We don't try to get rid of that doubt in the Buddha practice. We don't try to get rid of the doubt. We take care of it like a precious living being, which it is. The Buddha takes care of doubt with great compassion. And the faith of the Buddha grows in taking care of doubt of the practice. And by the way, the teaching also says that when you take care of your doubt, that care is transmitted to all beings.

[33:41]

They are joining your practice. You are joining their practice. They are receiving the benefits of this compassion towards what? Towards doubt. That our practice reaches all beings. And the way we practice and verify that our practice reaches all beings is by practice. And That way of practice opens the door to oceans of doubt. Oceans of being questioned. And that practice welcomes being questioned and doubted. And again, grows on doubt. This is called great doubt. And it comes to someone who really is wholehearted.

[34:42]

And that wholeheartedness then embraces that doubt. Once again, I've said almost nothing, and I feel like I've said too much. I could imagine, and as I often imagine, I could imagine you are all completely clear about what I've said. And you understand me really well. And yeah, and you think, yeah, I want to practice like a Buddha too. And it sounds really hard. And I understand that Buddha doesn't say that it's easy. Buddha does the hard practice of being a Buddha.

[35:48]

Buddha joyfully does this very, very challenging practice of being a Buddha. Buddha is hardworking and it's a joy for Buddha to be hardworking. And yeah, and I'm. Yeah, so I could imagine you understand me really well and that you're filled with joy about what I said to. to you today because I am too I'm full of joy at what I've shared with you I think that if I could practice this way in one moment that would be great not to mention two and you could practice that way right now and you would be very joyful if you did yeah This is the joyful practice of the Buddhas I'm talking about in this world of suffering.

[36:50]

Buddhas practice in the world of suffering, of cruelty, of injustice, of environmental disrespect and cruelty. That's where Buddhas are practicing. They're practicing nowhere else. And that's where we are too. We have the opportunity of joining this marvelous, joyful practice. Maybe now I could just. Yeah, I could sort of end the sort of the me talking part of this situation. OK, and then we'll have a you talking and me talking situation. May our intention equally extend to every being and place. With the true merit of Buddha's way, beings are numberless. I vow to save them.

[37:53]

Afflictions are inexhaustible. I vow to cut through. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha way is unsurpassable. I vow to practice it. So now it's time to do Buddha practice face-to-face. And you're welcome to call out for compassion. Go ahead. Rev, do you mind if I make one quick announcement? Oh, yeah. Would you please make an announcement, Ginny? Yes. I just wanted to... Yes, please help support Zen Center. If you do feel supported by the offerings of our temples, we gratefully appreciate any size donation.

[38:57]

I posted a link in the chat window with different ways to donate to Zen Center. And now we can continue with Q&A. Reb, would you like me to call on people? Oh, yes, please do. All right, we have a hand up from Yuki, Karen. Good morning, Rob. Good morning. So the second situation you described fits pretty well with what I think right now, which is that, you know, when I'm really lucky and the stars are aligned, I can practice with what's in front of me, but that might leave out the things that aren't in front of me. You said sometimes you can practice with what's right in front of you?

[39:58]

Is that what you said? Yes. But I think that that might leave out the things that aren't in front of me. And I heard you say, well, just practice with that doubt and somehow all would be well. And I really want to believe that, but I confess that I'm not there. I just, I, you know, I'm just not, I can't quite see it. So you can't see it, right? Sometimes. That's right. You can't see it. No, I can't say that practicing with doubt is going to, I don't know, is going to bear fruit. That all will be well if I can do that.

[41:03]

Okay. So before I forget, practicing with doubt is the fruit. When there's doubt and you practice with it, that practice is the fruit of practicing with doubt. People sometimes say, how can I practice more? Well, by practice. When you practice more, you're practicing more. So when there's doubt and you practice with the doubt, that's a great, that practicing with doubt is at that moment the blessing, the fruit of practice. Because of Buddhas and ancestors and because of your past practice, when doubt arises and you practice with it, that practice is the fruit. Now, will that fruit, will that practice have further fruits? Yes. But it's already a fruit. When you're kind to me, that's a fruit. It's also a practice.

[42:08]

Well, then maybe I'm not practicing so well without because I want if I practice with it, I want for it to go away. I want for it to be resolved. I think practicing means it will resolve. OK, so two things. Ready? Two things. Here they are. One is. Dot arises. And you practice with it. And if you practice with it wholeheartedly, you will not at that moment be involved even a little with wanting it to go away. If I'm with you and I practice wholeheartedly with you, there's no room for me wishing for you to go away. But if I'm with you... and I don't practice with you wholeheartedly, then I have a little bit of extra heart, which I can use to wish that you would go away.

[43:17]

The same with doubt. If you practice wholeheartedly with doubt, that is the fruit. That is a Zen master. Practicing wholeheartedly with doubt is a Zen master. In your case, like a female Zen master. Practicing half-heartedly without leaves room for wishing that it would go away. That's the first point, right? There was another one, wasn't there? The second one is that the wishing for it to go away is the next opportunity for practice. So, If doubt comes and I do not practice wholeheartedly with it, wanting it to go away may come up. But then you can practice wholeheartedly with wanting it to go away. And that is the fruit of practice.

[44:24]

In other words, when I'm with you and I'm not wholehearted and I want you to go away, or another way to put it, when I'm with you and I'm wholehearted and I want you to be some other way, Does that ever happen to anybody? That if you wish someone you want, you wish that they would be some other way? When you wish other people to be some other way than the way they are, that's a sign of you're not wholehearted with them. Does that ever happen? Yes. But that wishing, that sign of lack of wholeheartedness is a great opportunity too. You know, I'm with you. Hey, I'm... Guess what happened just now? I had this thought that I wish you were somebody else. And I wholeheartedly acknowledge that. And I'm so happy to, I'm sorry, I feel that way. I am sorry, but I'm so sorry about it. I'm wholehearted in my sorry. So if you have doubt, and there's other things that are difficult to, there's other pieces of mud that are difficult to contemplate wholeheartedly.

[45:35]

And if you don't, then you might want to get rid of them. But that wishing to get rid of is another thing to practice with. And actually, wishing to get rid of things is actually a form of doubt. So, in a way, doubt applies to everything that you do not practice wholeheartedly with. Any situation. Well, you're holding back and you're saying, I'm not going to give my whole life to this moment, to this pain, to this fear, to this sickness, to this injustice. If you don't give yourself wholeheartedly, that's because in a way you doubt that this is the opportunity for practicing the Buddha way. But if you do doubt, then you practice towards the doubt. And when you're wholehearted, you're You won't be wanting something other than what's going on because you'll have the Dharma will be with you.

[46:39]

You'll be with the Buddha face to face and you will not want to be somewhere else. You'll be just full of gratitude for the current situation. Which is, which was a lack of faith and practice. There was a lack of practice for a second. And then I practiced wholeheartedly with my lack of practice. So I think most of us are quite familiar with a lack of practice, right? What's not so familiar is being wholehearted with every single lack of practice. That's something we're working towards, right? So now are you completely clear, Karen? Well, it helped when you said you give your life to that. Yeah. Give your life to the doubt and give your life to wishing that the thing would go away.

[47:40]

Because, again, that's another form of doubt. When you don't have doubt, you don't wish for this world to go away. And when you don't wish for this world to go away, you see. Peace and harmony. When you see harmony, when you see a lack of harmony. And you wholeheartedly practice with it. You don't wish for the lack of harmony to go away. And you realize harmony. And it's transmitted to all beings. And if you have any doubt about that, practice with that doubt. If you have any doubt about that, about anything I say, then if you have any doubt about anything I said, I have something else to say, which is practice with your doubt about what I say. And you say, well, I doubt that I should practice with my doubt about what you say. I say, well, okay, but that's what I'm saying. If you believe what I say, okay, fine. But still, if you believe what I say, don't close the door on doubting what I say.

[48:42]

Please don't, please don't doubt. Please don't close the door on doubting what I say. I love it when you doubt what I say. It's more opportunities. face-to-face conversation. Thank you. You're welcome. Next question is from Steve. Hello, can you hear me? Yes, Steve. Yes, hi. Yes. I first want to express gratitude for your beautiful talk. I can feel it affecting me. I can feel it hitting home in some way. You're very welcome. And I raise my hand because I feel, well, there's a form of doubt.

[49:45]

I've been hurt and I'm feeling my hurt. And in my pain, there's doubt that arises as to person who causes who I see triggered the pain and then I can stay with that and it brings up some tears and I appreciate the purity of just the sheer presence that allows the tears to come out and there's a There is a presence with each tear. Yeah. There is an upright, wholehearted observation of each tear. Yeah. Each pain in the heart. Pardon?

[50:47]

With each pain in the heart. With each pain in the heart. Each one, each pain is met with gentleness, harmony, uprightness, and honesty. And in that way, you will see the Buddha while you're attending to the pain, to each, each, each pain. Yeah. And I can watch my mind take off from that into... And your mind taking off is another thing. to observe with compassion. Yeah. And that yeah is another thing to observe with compassion. And that laugh is another thing to be gentle and flexible and honest and upright with. And then you can see the Buddha in your laugh and in your cry.

[51:50]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And when you see the Buddha in your laugh, the Buddha sees you in your laugh. And when you see Buddha in your tears, the Buddha sees you in your tears. Yeah. And that's kind of funny, isn't it? Yeah. It's kind of ironic. Yeah. Why would I want to escape from it? But I do. And you can practice wholeheartedly with wanting to escape. Yeah. And the wish, the escape is not possible. Escape is not possible, but wishing to escape is quite common. There's lots of opportunities of wishing to escape. And each wish to escape, the Buddha is right there. Join the Buddha in that wish to escape. And there's a lot of things which one might wish to escape. Like, for example,

[52:56]

A stroke you might wish to escape. Alzheimer's. COVID-19 you might wish to escape. Lots of things. Injustice you might wish to escape. Lots of things you might wish to escape. And each wish to escape is another opportunity to be gentle, harmonious, upright, and honest with. To fully embrace every wish to escape any form of suffering. All those little doubts. Or big doubts. Each one. It's like everything is just fine as it is. That statement you just made is another thing. to be compassionate towards.

[53:58]

Eventually there's nothing left to be said. Thank you, Steve. We have a next hand up from Michael. Hi, Rob, can you hear me? I can hear you, yes. Thank you so much for your talk. I would actually love to share some moments of doubt that arose for me as I was listening to your talk. Perfect. So I noticed that you use sometimes the word Buddha. Sometimes you say Buddhas, and sometimes you say the Buddha. And there's this thought for me that arises often where I question if you're talking about the historical Buddha or a kind of ideal human realization of awakeness and uprightness.

[55:10]

But there's also this sense for me, I think, where I read in something like God, which I know arises for me with some resistance that I have to my own religious training as a child. But I'm sort of practicing with that as I listen to your talks and as I see this word appear when I'm reading. And I just wonder if you could help me clarify or make sense of that, maybe some confusion there. Well, the first thing that comes to my consciousness is... There's kind of an echo. The first thing that comes is that... when the thought of God comes, I would practice with the thought of God just like I would practice with the pain in my heart or just like I would practice with doubt. So you said you had a doubt, but you didn't ask me how to practice with the doubt, but I talked about how to practice with the doubt.

[56:21]

And if the thought of God comes up in my mind, I would want to practice with the thought of God the same way as I practice with feelings or thoughts of doubt. You want to talk now, Michael? Yeah, sorry. I'm struggling with my muting setting here. That's helpful. Could you say anything about what you mean by Buddha and the interchangeability between the Buddha, Buddha's Buddha way, et cetera? Yeah. So I could take one more step with this thing of if I have a thought of God and I treat my thought of God like I would treat a thought of pain or a feeling of pain, if I treat them basically in this this Buddha way, then I just might meet God in the process.

[57:27]

Wholeheartedly meeting my ideas of God and also wholeheartedly meeting my ideas of the devil. In the wholehearted meeting, you just might get to meet God. But, you know, hi, God. In that meeting is where you meet God. And in that God you meet there is the same God as Buddha, because you meet Buddha in that kind of meeting also. So, again, if you have an idea of Buddha, I would say I would encourage people to practice with the idea of Buddha and the idea of pain and the idea of God, practice with them in the same way. And you practice with them in the same way. You will have the same realization, which is you will meet Buddha. But the Buddha you meet won't be the historical Buddha. It will be the Buddha, which is reality. The Buddha, which is awakening.

[58:34]

You will meet Buddha in awakening. And God can come too. Okay. Thank you. I'm going to practice with that. Yeah, please do. And save all sentient beings while you're at it. Thank you. You're welcome. We have a hand up from Kate. Hello. Thank you for your Dharma talk this morning. I'm very grateful for that. You're welcome. I'm taking a Zen workshop to help with anxiety and depression. And the way that we are doing that is through meditation.

[59:35]

And I'm finding this very, very almost impossible because that's where it all lives inside me. The panic that I'm experiencing now and the anxiety, it lives in there. So that, of course, is the last place that I want to go. And I feel like the meditation sitting is making my panic worse. Do you have anything to offer regarding this? Yes, I do. I just did. Did you hear what I offered? Are you talking about me? To me? Yeah. I've been listening and thinking that when you've been speaking about doubt, I could substitute panic.

[60:37]

Yes. Anything. I could substitute what I'm experiencing for doubt in there. Yes. Yes. Right. You have understood me well. Substitute panic for doubt. Substitute panic for pain. Substitute panic for illness. And apply the practice which I said to the panic. And if you're unable to be gentle, and flexible and harmonious with the panic, if you feel unable to, like you just can't believe that you can do that, then now you've got doubt. So practice with that. Well, I will try.

[61:44]

But I have to tell you that The panic is so intense that I can't, it feels like, I mean, I just, I avoid going in. I feel like I can't do it. I have a request to make of you. Okay. You don't have to do it. Okay. But that you show me your face. Oh, I don't want to. You don't have to. Okay. Okay. And I am respectful of you not wanting to show me your face. Okay? And I want to be harmonious with you not wanting to show me your face. And I want to be accepting that you don't want to show me your face. That's the way I deal with you not doing what I requested. Okay? Okay? And I would wish to do the same thing to treat your panic the same way, to treat the intensity the same way.

[62:56]

I wish to practice being gentle and flexible and harmonious and honest and upright with all intensities. That's what I'm trying to learn. And if I can't, Then again, as I said over and over, I practice compassion with my inability to be compassionate to some forms of intensity. Okay, I'm going to try it. And I'm going to practice that with you. You've got a companion. Thank you. You're welcome, Kate. You have a hand up from Deirdre. Hi, Reb. Thank you so much for your beautiful... And so... Are you in Ireland?

[63:58]

No, I'm in Toronto. Okay. Toronto Deirdre. We have several Deirdres. And this is... Okay. Okay. So I noticed that in the closing vow, you substituted afflictions in the place of delusions. And when I do the vows daily after my meditation, I practice with the Toronto Zen Center, and we say I vow to uproot them. But that feels kind of intensely, I don't know, it was just feeling too... I like end them, approve them. So the way I've sort of changed it when I do my daily vow is delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to recognize them, compassionately disentangle and dissolve them and transmute the energy released therein to the benefit of all beings.

[65:04]

And I have not asked the Roshi of Toronto Zen Center about this. I haven't asked anyone about this. Part of me wonders if it's okay to compassionately disentangle and dissolve these afflictions or delusions rather than to just practice with them. Because if I just sit inside them, sometimes I get lost before being able to be of service. I get sort of, it gets almost like I get kind of lost inside the affliction. And if I can, let that go and let them dissolve with the help of Zazen, then I can release the energy to the benefit of more beings. And I just wondered in your wisdom, if you could help me assess this vow that I make every day. Okay. I don't know if I can help you, but I'm happy to try.

[66:08]

Thank you. But in regard to... changing delusions to afflictions. The reason I did that is because the original character is affliction, but it's understood that that affliction includes delusion, greed, hatred, and so on. So it's a more general term than just delusion. And also the Chinese original character is to cut through. But it could be understood as to cut off. But I guess I'm more into the cut through as in pass through. Like, you know, find the way through the jungle of affliction. And the way of passing through the jungle of afflictions or the thicket of afflictions or the

[67:14]

quicksand of afflictions or the darkness of afflictions or the being lost of afflictions, the way to pass through is to meet them with, as you said, compassion, to meet them with harmony, to meet them with respect, to meet them being upright, to meet them being honest, like, I'm lost. I feel lost. Okay, yeah. Let's be compassionate to this feeling of being lost. Being compassionate to the feeling of being lost, we pass through it. Trying to get rid of the feeling of lost, we get trapped. Trying to change lost into found, we get lost. We get trapped. But meaning lost. Like, yeah. I mean, I haven't done it.

[68:16]

And after COVID, if there is after COVID, I'm going to go to, if I ever go to a shopping center or a department store, I'm going to go to the lost and found. I'd love to do that. And I'm going to go there and say, I'm going to go and say, I'm not trying to find anything. I just wanted to say hello to you. So I think that the cutting through is better than the cutting off because cutting off is just somewhat disrespectful. So I vow to pass. You could say I vow to compassionately relate to all these afflictions. And if you're compassionate with all of these afflictions, you will pass through. you will not be trapped. And if you are compassionate with feeling trapped, you will be free.

[69:21]

Thank you. You're welcome. I have a hand up from Homa. Good morning, Rob. Good morning, Homa. I guess I can say it's an observation that I'm observing rather than a question. And the observation is when I am in the observation of form is emptiness, emptiness is form, which I was received one time in our settings in no abode. I remember clearly coming to you and say, yes, form is emptiness, emptiness is form. That clarity is what it is to me.

[70:27]

That's all there is. And any slip from that remembering of form is emptiness and emptiness is form, it takes me to a mind of its own, and then I struggle in that mind again and again till I come back. So then I guess listening to you, this slip, realizing, I guess, realizing the slip is emptiness. Emptiness is the slip. Yeah. Yeah. I can see the difficulty of the practice. I can see that. I can see the difficulty is, oh, here's what I see.

[71:33]

The difficulty is I have a Buddha and then I have a mind. And Buddha is not mind. Mind is separate than Buddha and Buddha is joy. Buddha is free. Buddha is enlightened. Buddha is... Excuse me. All those things you just said, you can substitute them for form, right? Difficult. Difficult to substitute for form. Difficult is emptiness. Joy is emptiness. Buddha is emptiness. Yes. That's... They're all emptiness. That's the confusion. So I identified that as Buddha. Confusion is emptiness. This is confusion. And it's very difficult to, I should say, very easy to slip off that.

[72:39]

Confusion. I can see confusion as emptiness if I don't have a Buddha in my mind. Confusion is confusion. Yeah. So Buddha, also Buddha is emptiness. Same. So whatever it is, that place you say, that teaching is where to be. And it's very slippery, easy to slip off. And when you slip off, the slipping off is another. That slipping off is also emptiness. So then you're not, then you're back on. Yes. Remembering. Totally. I love the totality every time you speak. Totally, totally remembering that Buddha is slippery. The slippery slope. That's, you know, everything is Buddha. Tighter of walking is slippery. Yeah. Yeah. I have a hard time to kind of. Upright part. That's the being upright. Being upright is very easy to slip off of.

[73:41]

Yes, I see that. I see that now. Yes. Involve of being upright, then we're compassionate to the slipping. Yes, I see that. I see that. I see the slippery of not being upright. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But slipping is not slippery. Yes. You can slip into slipping and just stay there for a long time. Yeah, and if you be upright, being upright with it. But slipping off is like lots of, there's infinite ways to slip off and only one way to be upright. So slipping is easy, but then all those opportunities, those are all the slippings, all the slippings are great opportunities for this practice. Okay. I still, for some reason, for some reason, I keep wanting to see slippery as uprightness.

[74:48]

Slipping. You just slipped. Wanting to see is another slip. Thank you. Thank you. We have a hand up from Sandra. OK. Good morning, Rev, and thank you for your talk. You're welcome. Early on in the talk, I think you said, when we are practicing the virtuous behaviors of the Buddha, we are copying and imitating the way of the Buddha. And I'm curious as to why you use the words copying and imitating the way of the Buddha, rather than maybe such a word as we are manifesting the way of the Buddha. Manifesting is fine, too. Okay. Okay.

[75:50]

Thank you. Yeah. When you imitate the Buddha, you just manifest Buddha. Okay. When you imitate the Buddha's compassion, you just manifested Buddha. Okay. Simple enough. Thank you. Simple and difficult. Yes. Teaching is simple. It's difficult to practice. Thank you. You're welcome. Next question is from Jenna. Hey, Rob. Hello. How are you? Great. Thank you for letting me ask a question and for your wholeheartedness. And I like how you're able to sort of hold the blessings in one hand and suffering in the other.

[76:54]

So I'm curious about the noticing as the practice and the gentleness that can come with that noticing. So I can practice wholeheartedly as I notice thoughts and emotions without making the emotions and the thoughts who I am, right? They're not my identity. I'm having these thoughts and I'm having these emotions. So I can compassionately... look at the experience that I'm having, right, and notice it, but not get hooked into these thoughts and emotions so that, in a sense, I'm wholeheartedly noticing. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. I would simplify it by saying, I'm there, but I'm not doing the wholehearted noticing. Okay. There's me. I'm here. Here I am. And there's wholehearted noticing.

[77:55]

And if I do the noticing, then I get hooked in. Yes. Okay. So you're wholeheartedly detached in a sense. Well, it's not even that I'm wholeheartedly detached. It's just that I'm here. There's wholehearted detachment. There's wholehearted noticing. This is a happy thing for all concerned. Okay. It isn't me that's doing the wholehearted noticing. But if I think I'm doing it, then I screw up the wholeheartedness. Not I screw it up. To believe that I'm doing it. So you got me, got the wholehearted noticing, and then you have the idea, I'm doing it. Yes. And then there's a belief that that's true. So if there's a belief that I'm doing the wholehearted noticing, then things get stuck. Okay. But if there's just me. something, pain or whatever, wholehearted noticing and belief that I'm doing it, and not believing that, then everything's free.

[79:01]

That's the way things really are. This idea that I'm doing this wonderful practice is just an idea. And believing it then is affliction. Okay. So when those emotions arise or those feelings arise and we compassionately notice them. When there's compassionate noticing of the feelings, yes. Right. That's wholehearted, right? And when the compassion is wholehearted, then the compassion is not owned by me. Right. Right. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. I don't own the wholehearted compassion that's here. And neither do you. But it's here. And it's for us to enjoy. Without ownership. Or turning it around.

[80:03]

Without ownership, we can really enjoy it. And it's here. It's right in front of us right now. And we can call it Buddha. Buddha. I'm ready for the next. All right, we have Jiren. Thank you for taking my question. I feel as though I have no discernment when I need it and too much discernment when I don't need it. in relation to this talk, I'm questioning my ability to know where I am. Like you say, like if doubt arises or it could be grief or it could be pain or it could be any number of things, but I often feel like I'm not sure what anything is.

[81:10]

Like I feel like I'm here and I'm not sure what's arising. And so I don't know if I need a label, if I need to put a word on it, or if I can just notice without any knowledge. Or if I'm just lost in distraction. But I could be in grief and not know I'm in grief for like... I think that's possible. that I think that we could be in the middle of grief and not know that we're grieving. And that is possible. And we could also feel the other things you mentioned. I could feel, did you say like, I don't know anything?

[82:11]

Did you say that? Yeah, like I can't discern anything. What's going on exactly? So here I am and I'm discerning that I can't discern. Right. So you do have discernment. You're discerning that you can't discern. Is that confusion? I don't know, but you could have confusion too. You name it, I'll work with it. But do I have to name it to work with it? No, you don't have to. And if you do name it, you can work with it. We can work with things that are named and also with things that are unnamed. We can work with what our words reach. I shouldn't say we do not. We can work with our words and we can work with what our words don't reach.

[83:11]

So, for example, I can work with my word. And I can work with that word and. And I can also work with what that word and doesn't reach. But I may have almost no idea of what that word and doesn't reach. But I can work with it anyway. And I work with it, for example, by putting my hands together. and bowing to it, bowing to what has not been named yet. But I respect the word and as much as I respect, I want to respect the word and, and, so that I can be free of the word and, and have a more wholehearted relationship with what the word and doesn't reach. This is, this is helpful.

[84:19]

because I feel like I use words like kind of desperate crutches to like articulate blackness or blankness. And then when the words, and then I listened for how the word lands on my heart to tell me a meaning. So I know where I am or what this is. And I feel like that's not skillful. That's great that you see that. That's great that you see that. You see a basic human affliction. is that in the face of the way things really are, we feel desperate because we have a tendency to want to get a hold of what's going on. So we use words to get a hold of things because we want to get a hold of them because we're afraid of what would happen if we don't get a hold. But actually things are not reached by our words, but we use words basically as a coping mechanism. Right. And it's also a coping mechanism that, what do you call it, has developed in our biological evolution.

[85:27]

It has certain survival qualities, probably. So now we feel desperate because we think if we don't use words, we might not survive. So part of our practice is to be kind to our words. And being kind to our words, we may stop, not stop, we may... we may be able to be free of using them in a desperate way, to use them out of compassion rather than out of desperation. So the Buddha did use words, but the Buddha didn't use them. And this relates to Michael's comment, the historical Buddha, but also the Buddha, which is awakening, uses words. So Buddha uses words and the Buddha uses words. To help people learn how to use words without using them out of desperation. But use them as gifts. Use them as gifts. Like go to the lost and found and say, I'm here to meet you.

[86:30]

I'm not trying to find anything. Or even, hello, I'm lost, but I'm not trying to find anything. And I've just come to meet you. So the Buddha is not trying to find anything. realized everything and is trying to help everybody who's trying to find something and one of the ways we try to find things is with words so do you sit without language for long long stretches do you have that capacity or does language come up regularly for you when you say yeah so i would say uh That I live, that there's a me who lives in a body and mind. And in that consciousness, words come up pretty much nonstop.

[87:30]

So I have a consciousness where there's words coming up. Okay? But fortunately, some of the words are words about how to deal with the words. Okay? So in my consciousness, there's words about how to relate to words. And I've shared them with you today. So when words come up, I have some other words which say, when words come, be gentle and flexible with them. Be harmonious with them. Be upright with them. So that's the word jungle that my consciousness inhabits or is inhabited by my consciousness. It's a happy world of practice with words. It's not trying to get rid of words. It's celebrating and being loving towards them. And in being loving towards words, there's freedom with words. And the words are then used not out of desperation, but out of generosity and wisdom.

[88:34]

You're welcome. The next question is from Brenda. Hi, Reb. Hi. I want to ask you about some words in the chant. And that is, what does it mean... To renounce worldly affairs? Oh, thank you. While in the midst of life? To renounce... It means to relate to them the way the Buddha relates to them. So, renouncing worldly affairs means to renounce... Did you all hear that? Did you hear that?

[89:48]

I'm sorry. My daughter was calling. I don't know how to turn it off. I just wanted to know if we were sharing that symphony. Okay. So, where were we? We're talking about worldly affairs. What is meant by worldly affairs? I would say, for example, worldly affairs... is to not, worldly affairs is to be stuck. Worldly affairs is to be rigid. Worldly affairs is to be disharmonious. Worldly affairs is to be cruel. Worldly affairs is to be selfish. Worldly affairs is to not practice compassion. So I give up not practicing compassion. I give up the worldly affairs of being selfish. I give up the worldly affairs and so on. But I do that with all things of the world. If I go to the lost and found at the department store, if I go to the shopping center, if I meet a person, I give up the worldly affairs of trying to get something from the meeting.

[90:55]

I give up trying to get and practice giving. Giving is not a worldly affair. Trying to get something is. So when you see the Dharma, you no longer try to get anything from life. You give up trying to get something. And rather than get something, you give, you give, you give. Giving is really life. Trying to get something is a distraction. And if I try to get something, then I practice compassion towards my distraction of trying to get something. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Next question is from Patrick. Hi, Rev. Hi, Lee. It's Lee, not Patrick.

[91:57]

Hi, Lee. I'll accept a substitute. So touched by what you just said, that giving is not worldly. that wanting to get something is the worldly. And I feel very highly aware this morning of how much you give. And I'm so grateful for that, how much I benefit from it and how much I long to be able to meet everything with me. gentleness, harmoniousness, uprightness, and honesty, and how often I fail over and over again. And so meeting that with gentleness, uprightness.

[93:02]

And... I thought maybe somebody understood me perfectly. And sure enough, you did. That makes me really happy. You know, I notice words like Buddha and enlightenment and awakening. All of that don't have a lot of meaning for me. But gentleness does. Harmony is something I understand. Uprightness, I think. And honesty. Those are accessible to me. Oh, thank you. And they came from Buddha. Whatever that is. Whatever that is. Nobody knows what it is, including Buddha. Yeah. Buddha's free of knowing what Buddha is. What a nice freedom.

[94:06]

Yeah, it's a nice freedom. Top of the line. Yeah. I also want to say that, you know, I'm always aware when I listen to you of, you know, a kind of intelligence operating that feels very thrilling. And also I feel intimidated by it. So... when you speak simply with words that I understand, I feel reassured. And I hope the reassurance is used to encourage you to practice with the intimidation. Yeah.

[95:08]

Yeah. It makes me curious about what intimidation feels like. Yeah. I think part of being upright is being curious. Yeah. Without moving, without leaning. That's a beautiful way to think about uprightness. I thought integrity, but curiosity, I think is a better fit. Thank you, Lee, and say hi to Patrick for me, would you? Hi. Thank you very much. We'll see you next time. Next question is from Maggie. Hi, Rip. Hello, Maggie. Nice to see you here. Good to see you.

[96:12]

You just talked about two dilemmas, and I have another dilemma to ask you. So I'm trying to contemplating or practicing one teaching from you, which is tranquil concentration. where you were talking about one pointed mind, that whatever we see, we fear, and we perceive is our mind. When I'm contemplating on this teaching, then I have a dilemma or a conflict. When I think about listening to the cry of the world with compassion, so the listening part to the world, it seems that we do not have access to the world or to others because what we can only access is our mind.

[97:34]

So then... I have a dilemma here. How can we really listen to others while instead all we can listen is our version of the cry, our own image of the cry, but not the cry itself? I'm a bit stuck here. So, yeah. Can we really hear the cry? I would say, yes, we can really hear the cry. However, we also hear a mental construction of the cry. So our conscious mind, our body and our conscious mind and our unconscious mind produce a mental construction of the cry. And that's what we see in our consciousness.

[98:37]

But we're also hearing at another level, we're also hearing the cry. So we do hear the cry. However, we interpret it in our consciousness as a mental construction of the cry. This other... Just like right now, I am actually hearing you. Are you in Switzerland? Yes. So you're in Switzerland and I'm actually hearing you. However... I'm also seeing a mental construction of you on a computer screen. Yeah. But that's not you. I don't think that's you. No. I really don't. I'm not fooled by this mental construction. This is easy for me not to be fooled by. And at the same time, you are actually calling to me and I'm actually being impacted by you. beyond and free of the mental construction I'm working with.

[99:39]

But I'm working with this mental construction to actually have the real meeting with you, which is going on and is free of this mental construction. So yes, I do hear your cry and you do hear my cry. Really, we do. But it's inconceivable the way that's happening. The conceivable version of our conversation is mental construction. And by working with my mental construction, I can be free of grasping my mental construction as our actual inconceivable relationship, where we are talking to each other without the computer all day long. Are you actually saying that there is a conceivable hearing, but there's also an inconceivable hearing that's going on? Yes. And there's a conceivable calling and an inconceivable calling.

[100:40]

The inconceivable is nonstop. The conceivable comes and goes. So the conceivable starts when you start a sentence and end it. Concepts come in little packages. But the inconceivable is not packaged. And you're calling to me unpackaged in it without a package. You're calling to me and I'm calling to you. We're doing that all day long. And it's really wonderful. And this is the realm of peace and harmony, which we actually can access. And we access it by the way we relate to the conceivable. If we practice with the conceivable, according to the Buddhist teaching, we open to the realization of the inconceivable relationship. Yeah, now I see that in beginning of my question, when I questioned about this, I was actually trying to grasp the conceivable version of the hearings because I was not comfortable and not sure that, is there any hearing at all?

[101:59]

That's, now I see it, I try to grasp, but I was not aware of the ungraspable characteristic of another level of hearing that you were talking about. Yeah. Now you've heard about it. Yeah. So please take care of it. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Next question is from Gail. Hi, Reb. Hello, Gail. My question is about the moment when one brings compassion to an affliction. In my case, an example I'm thinking of is that I'm extremely self-critical and

[103:01]

What happens for me is even though I've practiced this a lot, my mind thinks, oh, self-criticism brings so much pain and is so destructive, I've got to make it go away. So I have to, I'm at a point in my practice where I have to remember that compassion actually, well, truthfully results in less suffering, even though I know the point is not to try to create less suffering. For me, it does. Can I say I disagree? Okay. I disagree that compassion is not about, compassion is not about, did you say creating less suffering? That's not what it's about. I know that, but it does seem to bring about less suffering for me. I have no problem with that you think that that's what's happening, but I don't think compassion brings about less suffering.

[104:03]

I don't think that compassion made less suffering. But I see that you think that's how it works. I don't think it works that way. Yeah. I think compassion brings freedom from suffering. And freedom from suffering is not less. Freedom from suffering is part of freedom from suffering is being able to embrace more suffering. So people who aren't free of suffering can only suffer, you know, like 155 pounds of suffering. The people who are free of suffering can embrace much more suffering than 155 pounds. Freedom comes with being able to embrace more suffering, being able to embrace more suffering beings, which is more joyful. It's a little bit joyful to embrace 155 pounds of suffering. That's a little bit joyful. And it's great. But to embrace all sentient beings suffering is inconceivable awakened joy.

[105:06]

And compassion is not trying to reduce suffering. It's embracing it and liberating it. However, it's not in contradiction to wishing people to be free of suffering and wishing people to have less suffering. You can wish that. That's more like what's called loving kindness, that you want people to suffer less, maybe, and be free of pain and stress. That's a good wish. Compassion is not wishing for something different. It's wishing for liberation of all beings, no matter what their suffering is. When Suzuki Roshi was dying, he had cancer. And some people thought that they didn't think Zen masters should die of cancer. They thought they should have some better disease to die from. But he just had regular, terrible, painful, just painful liver cancer. He was in a lot of pain. Now, the way he dealt with it was like such a gift to me. The way he dealt with his suffering, no big deal.

[106:10]

He was having a hard time. And the way he dealt with it is such a deep teaching. But he didn't reduce his suffering. And if he was a better Zen master and had more compassion, I don't think he would have reduced his suffering. He met his suffering. Now, if you practice compassion and you feel less, I would say, that's fine with me. I don't mind if you feel less suffering. But compassion, that's not what compassion is. That's more like cause and effect, which I don't really understand how that works. Okay. Well, this is, yeah. Well, thank you. Compassion is definitely not trying to make things different. Right. Well, thank you. It's embracing the way they are. Yeah. Well, I think the way they are wholeheartedly is liberation. Okay, thank you. I see where I'm getting caught with this because I notice that when I can be compassionate to something, I do happen to notice that I personally suffer less, but I see the distinction that you're making.

[107:22]

And what my question had been that I'm a point in my process where I, you know, My mind wants to take over and say, no, push the self-criticism away, push it away. Did you say you sometimes think of pushing away the self-criticism? Can I again point out, there's two things there. One is a self-criticism, which is calling for compassion, right? Right. The other is pushing it away, which is calling for compassion. Both of those things are calling for compassion. So you got self-criticism, right? Welcome self-criticism. You got pushing it away. Welcome pushing it away. So you got to do that. You got two things to work with. Self-criticism and pushing it away. They're both great opportunities for you to practice compassion.

[108:24]

I see. Well, my question was... Sometimes I want to push away so badly that I have to recall and I feel like I'm leaning on either faith or actually the observation of cause and effect to motivate me to practice compassion. Right. Faith helps you practice compassion because you believe in compassion. You trust it. And that trust and compassion, maybe some days you'll practice it because you really do believe in it somewhat. And the more you practice it, the more your faith will grow. And the more you practice compassion with your doubt that compassion works, the more your faith will grow. Thank you. You're welcome. be our last question, Stefan.

[109:41]

Hello? Hello. Can you hear me? I can hear you, yes. Can you hear me? Hello, Red. Hello, Stefan. So it's me who has the question. Is your name Nicola? Nicola. Nicola. You were talking about the words with somebody else before and that arise in consciousness. And I heard you say a lot of times when you answer questions, First thing that came to my mind is, and then you say something. And I was wondering a lot of times, it doesn't seem that you're sorting out your thoughts for your answer or something like that.

[110:48]

So many thoughts are just... or you would perhaps say every thought is questionable and doubtable. And respectable. And respectable. But you don't sort them out. But how do you find the thoughts that are your answer? Is it just the first one that comes? Well, the first one that comes might not be the answer. It's kind of like I'm talking to you and you ask me a question and then my daughter comes in the room and I say, well, here's my daughter. You know, in other words, I don't ignore her.

[111:50]

But she showed up between when you asked me a question and I was about to answer you maybe, right? You know, our answer is going to come. But my daughter comes in and I said, here's my daughter. And it might be that she's a better answer than what I was going to say. So in a way, it's not so much that I don't sort, but rather I respect what comes. But aren't there really silly thoughts that are not good for an answer? And that's just not the right thing to say. Many of my thoughts, for example, are somehow cruel and I don't want to say them to people because I just use them to see myself. Yeah. So if... If a silly or a thought comes that I don't think would be helpful to people, I don't mention it.

[112:58]

So it's kind of sorting it out according to ethics or something like that? There is some kind of sorting. However, in these situations here, almost everything that comes, like about 95% of what comes is like blessing. Almost everything that comes up when I'm meeting in this wonderful sangha, this wonderful assembly, almost all my thoughts are blessings. And occasionally there might be some thought like, you know, some thought like, I wish this person wouldn't keep talking quite so long. Thought might arise. But I almost never say it because I'm working on it myself. I'm working on being patient with that thought. Not so much with the person, but with the thought, which I don't think would be helpful to say. But mostly, mostly sort of, we have this expression in English.

[114:02]

We have this thing about, it's like a stand-up comedy that the person says, on my way to this meeting tonight, such and such happened, to have that in German too. On my way here, something happened. And so oftentimes when I would go from this house down to the lecture hall at Green Gulch, on my way, something would happen that I thought was more relevant than the Dharma talk I was planning on giving. And I would bring that up because it's more immediate than what I was going to say. if you ask me a question and right as I'm about to answer you, something might come up, which in a way, I don't even know where that came from. And it oftentimes is very precious, but sometimes it's precious and shouldn't be said. And I don't say it.

[115:06]

But a lot of times it's not, I'm really surprised by what comes up. It may have nothing to do with the question even that was asked. But I honor it. So I do discern and kind of sort. It does go on. But also there's a wonderful relaxation and gentleness and flexibility too, which is very, which is enacting the practice. And it's also some kind of a trust or something like that? In that what comes to you? It's kind of I kind of trust trusting what comes, but also trusting being kind to what comes, which means to welcome it, to honor it. So I trust what I don't so much trust what comes. I trust welcoming what comes like. I don't exactly trust pain. I don't trust meanness. I trust being kind to pain and kind to meanness.

[116:11]

Yes. And then what comes out as a. what comes out in the situation if a cruel thought comes I want to treat it with compassion and treating the cruel thought with compassion might be not to mention it that might be the result of meeting it compassionately but also might be I want to confess to you I had this mean thought I sometimes might share that with people it might be really relevant So the thing is I trust is I trust meeting whatever comes with compassion. I don't trust what comes. I trust whatever comes as an opportunity for practice. I trust whatever comes as an opportunity to question, to look for the Dharma. I don't trust the thing. I trust the study of it. So for me, it's most of the times when, for example, because you said the cruel thought.

[117:15]

And sometimes it just goes out before I'm able to meet it with compassion. Because it's just too quick and it's just kind of... And then you can be compassionate to that by confession and repentance towards that high-speed cruelty. Oh, you got in there, cruelty. That was really fast. I confess that was not kind. I'm sorry. But then the practice is working. Then the compassion comes in the form of confession and repentance. That was not kind. I'm sorry. I was impatient. I'm sorry. Thank you. I think that might be it for... Unless anybody, you're welcome to raise your hand in your video or raise your blue hand as well.

[118:22]

Scanning through videos now to see if anybody has their hand up. Oh, June. I just tried to unmute you, June, one sec. There you go. doing yeah can you hear me i can oh good i just want to say thank you good to see you and uh i'm doing okay thank you good to see you i love you and i'm sorry thank you and i love you and thank you And I love everybody in this great assembly, by the way. And I say thank you to everybody in this great assembly. And I also say I'm sorry to everybody in this great assembly.

[119:29]

I already did the closing chant. So now I will say goodbye, dear friends. Please take care of the Buddha way until we meet again. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye, Rob. Thank you. God bless you. Bye, Rob. Thank you. Bye, Rob. Thank you. Thank you. Wonderful. Thank you, Rob. I can say thank you forever. Muchas gracias, Reb. Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias, señorita. My hair and my fraulein. Goodbye, Reb. Bye-bye.

[120:34]

Bye-bye. Give me my other hand. Bye, Reb. Thank you, Reb. You're welcome. Kiss, feet, tension. No bow. Aloha. Aloha. Bye bye. Aloha. Aloha. Thank you very much, Reb. Much gratitude. Much gratitude. Hey there, Reb. Thank you so much. I hate all this a lot. Thanks.

[121:28]

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