So I invite you now to become aware of your body and to the body's connection to the environment around you. And seeing if you can notice the earth element of the body, the sense of groundedness, the sense of connectedness to the earth, to the ground itself. allowing awareness to come to rest in the felt sense of the immediacy and the aliveness of the body sitting right here and now. Just help to settle more deeply into the body.

[01:44]

For this stretch of time, there's nowhere to go. There's nothing you need to accomplish. But just giving yourself over to the gift of being right here, where you are. And at the top four, as you're sitting, being aware of the body, you can also be aware of the body breathing. the simplicity and the power of life's breath. Becoming aware of the flow of the breath. Breathing in, being aware of the in-breath, and breathing out, being ready out. And in this way, using awareness of the breath and the graveness of the body to continue to settle.

[03:01]

Reach, exhale, allowing yourself to settle more deeply into the body, into being here, into groundedness of being. Landing right here as completely as possible. as you said, allow the big mind, the mind of awareness, to be open. Be open like a vast sky. It's simply having a quality of receiving. This quality of mind, it's relaxing, receiving, allowing.

[04:13]

allow each moment of experience to arise, be known just as it is, and then time to pass. All experience like clouds moving through the sky. The sky itself is relaxed, open, totally receptive, receiving and allowing all things to appear, make themselves known, and pass away. As we observe the flow of experience in our vast mind, I notice that some of these experiences, they have a shape they take, like sound, sensations, ways of feeling or emotion.

[05:55]

We're in that perpetual process of thinking. that some of it is pleasant, and some of it is unpleasant. I have to be noting, I have that feeling tone of these experiences. I have to ask not to get caught in the actual content of that, not to grab all under, and having a need to reject or push anything away. Feeling the groundedness of the body, the body stable like a mountain. The breath is like a soft breeze. The mind open, receptive, receptive.

[07:01]

Meditation isn't complicated, it's actually quite simple. Relax. Receive. Allow experience to be what it is. Simply observe it. Whatever is here, whatever is arising or passing, whatever is true for you now, seeing if you can allow yourself to bring an attitude of warmth, of kindness, of care and compassion to what's ever here, whatever is true in this moment in terms of your direct experience or your whole range of experience. Whatever it might be.

[08:20]

Continuing in this way for the rest of the city, continuing simply being with presence, groundedness, openness and receptivity through your direct experience. Resting your attention in the stillness of the body, the gentle flow of the breath. Receive the invitation to simply believe. You lose the connection to the stillness and presence, and by bringing attention back, reconnecting, and then continuing to rest, milk and awareness.

[09:34]

Body, heart, and mind, fully open, fully receptive, fully at leaves and rest. Thank you, everyone, for joining in this sitting again.

[24:15]

And now, briefly, just offer some kind of seating words for kind of our practice reflection, and then we'll do a particular exercise together. So... I think it's safe to say that over the last couple of weeks, we've all experienced a lot that has made us pause and reassess who we are as both individuals and as members of various communities and as human beings. And we've been called on by events to ask ourselves, what is it that we most value and stand for? And to me, this feels like a time of great reckoning, one of which we're being called to address the great suffering of our lives, maybe more so than usual.

[25:21]

And you could say right now the suffering is pretty predominantly visible or taking the shape of pandemics. I would say there are two major pandemics which we're working with right now. And that one is the recent one of COVID-19. That particular pandemic that started earlier in the year and which we still find ourselves engaged with. And also the centuries-old one of racism and white supremacy and how that continues to plague us. And Right now, both of them are at the forefront of our minds because of various causes and conditions. And actually, these pandemics are occurring in simultaneity with many other pandemics, such as the pandemics of global climate change, or sexism, or economic inequality.

[26:36]

whole slew of other diseases that are essentially manifestations of what Buddha called the three poisons, greed, hate, and delusion. So given this, we might say that this is a time of crisis or multiple crises that are demanding our urgent attention. I was reminded recently that the word crisis comes from the Greek chrysis, as far as I think that's how you pronounce it, and it means a turning point in the disease. So chrysis, crisis, a turning point in the disease, a watershed moment that can lead to either healing or death. So it's a critical, decisive moment, this crisis, towards a moment of discerning what direction is this disease going to take?

[27:45]

Life, healing into life, or death? I think that this time of pandemic and crisis is also one of infiltration, a great and pressing invitation to deeply reflect on and inquire into the causes for our illness and diseases, of our dis-ease, or our suffering, and Pali word dukkha. What is our dukkha, our dis-ease, our dissatisfaction of our suffering? What is the cause of that, fundamentally, to study that? What is the root of our suffering? And it's also an invitation to find a new way to respond, to hear, and to listen to our own suffering, as well as the suffering of others, to discover how best to respond to the cries of the world, the cries of suffering.

[28:55]

Again, our own suffering, the suffering that won't be How do we bear witness to all that is unfolding right now? How do we hold the space together for our grief and our struggles? And for also learning the lessons of our fundamental interconnectedness, that this time of pandemic and transition is actually teaching us. COVID-19 is very clearly reminding us of our interconnectedness. So forefront. So we're not only being called on to bear witness to our suffering and those around us, but also to find a way to actively respond. So this time of crisis and pandemic, we've been given a gift, an opportunity to ask ourselves, what kind of life do we want to create?

[29:58]

to fight for, not just for ourselves, but for all beings, including another Earth herself? What do we want to heal from? What do we want to take from this dis-ease, this time of difficulty, and move into, in terms of creating a new sense of vitality and health and wholeness? been thinking of this time of crisis, this time of turning point, kind of a liminal space, a space in which we might pause, reflect, deliberate, and deeply discern what it is we wish to become. I really think that this word liminality has been kind of staying with me for a while, and I looked it up and just kind of figured out what is actually we're talking about here, and liminality has been described as

[31:05]

and this is a quote, any betwixt and between situation or object, any in-between place or moment, a state of suspense, a moment of freedom between two structured worldviews or institutional arrangements. So it relates to a change in a single personality, as well as social change and transition in large-scale settings. It opens the door to a world of contingency where events and meanings, indeed reality itself, can be molded and carried in different directions. Illuminality also refers to Moments or periods of transition during which the normal limits of thought and self-understanding and behavior are relaxed.

[32:10]

Opening the way to novelty and imagination, to construction, and in many cases destruction. Desiring of old ways, making available new possibilities. And as I was thinking of this word, an analogy, I find myself kind of resting, coming to an analogy of chrysalis. As you may know, when it's time for the caterpillar to mature to the next stage of being, it forms a pupa, a chrysalis, a shell in which it becomes encased. And what's encased in that shell? it begins the process of becoming undone, of disintegrating, almost digesting itself in some fashion. It literally turns to mush. So if you actually were to open a chrysalis at a certain point, you would just get goo on the inside, this soft, formless mush.

[33:22]

But that stage of mush is required for the ultimate transformation. And this mutual undone state is a one-eliminality, a between-state, in which the previous shape is dissolved. The shape that is to come has not yet revealed itself. And the thing is, what I've read is that, as I understand it, this mush already has in it a code, or you could say a DNA, that contains the information for the shape that is the cone. That which will come forth from the chrysalis at some point in the future of its kind. So from caterpillar to mush, utter disintegration, into eventually butterfly. New possibility. So I think that as human beings going through a time of crisis, a turning point, that we are in chrysalis now.

[34:33]

We're all kind of liquefying in this in-between space of luminality. We're being prepared or preparing to bring all of our true selves into a new cycle of being. And the work of practice right now during this crisis requires that we first allow ourselves to dissolve. Who else has to become soft and tender to kind of let go of our previous karmic incarnations and formations, particularly those of the separate self or a particular ego, a particular type of person, all the types of person we are. All the conditioned ways we are, including racialized conditioning. Let that dissolve and see what comes forth. And it takes great courage to stay in this normal space.

[35:38]

It takes courage and patience and fortitude to be in the Christmas, to be in this uncomfortable, unconstructed space. When we do so, we allow the possibility for something new to come forward. And it's not just that we're not just freeing ourselves from the history, the karmic history of a particular person that was invented, but we're actually allowing ourselves to feel everything there is to feel, to have a heart that feels the pain in everything. Because we're all going through this solution. of the ego itself. And so as we move through this stage, you know, there's cycles of grief and transformation that we can experience as former selves and ways of orienting, they're dissolved in a given way. And in doing so, something new is allowed to come forward and spread its weights.

[36:42]

And what I suggest is what will come out of this. The main thing is love. The blossoming of a deeper love, a love that is built into our DNA. That's our heart's understanding of our most profound connectedness and intimacy with all things. So love will arise and come forth, and so does compassion. Compassion arises too as love is a responsive activity, active experience. How to connect with others from a place of compassion and respond to the Christ of the world. So, I encourage you to find a way to be in this normal space right now. allow yourself to dissolve, to be in a place of not knowing, of letting go of old karmic formations and giving yourself over to new possibilities to come forth, possibilities that are deeply in the DNA of what it is to be human.

[38:03]

I say that DNA is our Buddha nature. It's already there, really, for us to fully recognize it and to blossom into it. Excuse me, I think I'll stop talking at this point. And I thought we'd try something a little different today. And then going into Q&A, I wanted to encourage us to take a little bit of time to reflect for a moment what it is that the Buddhist teachings and your Zen practice right now have to tell you about the ways to move into this time of liminality, this time of crispness, and to practice with it, to dwell in it. What helps you to be in this time of challenge, pandemic, distress, racial unrest and disease, oppression, the unrest that we find in response to climate change and all the other things

[39:18]

difficulties that we're experiencing as humans right now. And how does your practice affect your ability to function in the face of crisis, both at the personal level and at the societal level? How are you applying the meditation that you do, kind of like being back in the middle of this Christmas time in a liminal space of Zazen for both yourself and for others? What is the expression of building self-activity that will come forth from this? I'm trying, because I was thinking whether or not to have us get into small groups, or just kind of open the space for sharing right now. And I think what I'll do is actually just open the space for sharing. And maybe we'll do small groups next week.

[40:22]

What I'd like to hear from you, it's not so much asking questions of me. I want to hear how you're practicing. How are you in this time of Christmas? What are you discovering? Are you having a similar experience? Are you kind of feeling like me in this in-between state? And maybe some of you aren't having that feeling. But if you are, how do you find yourself practicing with us? I want you to share your wisdom, the gleamings of your own practice with us, so that we have a sense of what it is that we're all bringing forth to this time. And you all have wisdom. You all have, you know, kind of discoveries that you're making. Even though you yourself may not kind of feel comfortable yet with feeling that they're a clear understanding.

[41:24]

But I think there is something that you all have to offer in terms of encouraging each other and in forming our practice in some way. So open the floor and see what it is you would like to share at this time. So there are, if you'd like to raise your hand, down in the participant, Matt, who's helping today, can put the instructions in the chat field. But if you go down to the participant icon and click on that, you'll see everyone who's participating. And then there is a series of, you can raise your hand in that particular space. Take a moment to raise your hand. And I'll also try to identify people who haven't had a chance to speak before in a previous session, just so we have many voices sharing. So let's see here.

[42:25]

I see Dan Hayes, T-A-I-Z. And I'm going to ask Matt to help on. Yeah, thank you, Matt. You're still muted. There you go. Hi there. I've been in Zoom meetings today. Well, that visual of the mush is really graphic and very effective. And I'm thinking that, like, the interconnectedness quality of things is, I mean, because I'm very stressed out right now. I mean, I I'm a teacher and we're ending the school year offline and we're moving into so-called reopening. And it's very laissez-faire. I mean, in terms of what the state is just pretty much open it up. And I guess the interconnectedness thing, I feel like is getting missed because, and it weighs really heavily on me.

[43:32]

I, no one is talking about this, that ultimately like a school and I'm required by the state of, California to create a safe space for children for, in this case, in adults. And because we're interconnected, COVID can spread and they can take it home. Well, first of all, for me, but they can also take it home to a vulnerable person. And the essence of a school is supposed to be a safe place, a positive place. And I feel like I do not want to be involved in that. because it would really, it would be so horrible, even if one person was impacted. And I just feel like it's getting lost in this push, you know, for, you know, open the economy and open, and I don't know what, it's just like, people just like, just throwing themselves headlong into this without really looking at and thinking about, you know, with compassion, what if someone dies?

[44:35]

That's a very real question. And I don't want to be infecting this community that I work for. I'm supposed to be helping them. It's just really bugging me. And I feel so helpless because basically they just tell us what to do. I don't want to do any harm. And obviously for me, And with my parents, you know, aging parents, you know, I wouldn't even be able to go see them. Yeah. And it's, I feel, I just feel so like, it's so, I feel so powerless. And I feel like, I mean, everything, it's just like, and I feel like other people are just going to push me into this thing. And so I do have that compassion, but I feel like it's being met. I mean, just when we started to talk about interconnectedness, I just feel like the whole world is missing this.

[45:36]

It's just, It's not compassion for people. It's always just numbers. Well, X number of people are going to die. And since when do we view our communities like that? Since when do we view each other like that? So I just, I feel like the moral center of the school district is lost. There's something that is not being looked at. And it's much more important than test scores. they're always super concerned about. I just, I just think it's like completely out of, out of the priorities are completely just been kicked aside. You know, it's just all, everything's like chaos. That really bugs me. But I think, you know, I'm getting back into meditation and, and trying this online because, because of all this, because it's just flipping me out so much. And I, I, you know, I, I know that, you know, I'm, I'm going to start, start writing letters to trying to do some activism, but ultimately I can't really do that much, you know?

[46:46]

Yeah. So, so the meditation helps to, you know, getting me so that I can think more productively about it. Or even like, I would like, I just now put these, this together that, you know, I feel like there's a moral problem. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Thank you, Anne. Thank you very much for sharing that. And I can definitely empathize with the difficulty of that. And I hear you really wanting to find a way to stay grounded through the meditation to have an open heart and an open mind and to cultivate compassion not only for others but actually for yourself. as you're in this very uncomfortable place and try to figure out how do I move forward in a way that recognizes our interconnectedness. And sometimes you feel we're alone in this.

[47:52]

Am I the only one? And you're not. I think everyone here in this space together is also trying to cultivate the same thing. Don't forget, you know, that there are others here, you know, supporting you who share with you that same kind of moral compass, you know, and that wish to come to a place of great compassion and love and caring. And it's challenging. It's very challenging at these times. Thank you very much, Anne. Gretchen Thomas. Here I am. Hello, Gretchen. I think you can see me, right? Yes, I can. Good, because I'm on a phone, and so I wasn't sure. My understanding of liminal time before this came from the experience of being on airplanes, especially long over-the-ocean flights, where you had no control of...

[49:03]

what happened or when you got there or there was just this time out, a huge time out. And during this time of being sheltering at home, I discovered that my fallback position, my default position in times of uncertainty is to cease control. And I was remembering, as you spoke about liminal time, how often I have called plane flights being liminal. And I was just thinking about the ways that lately, at first, it's been almost 10 weeks. I'm in Australia, so it's been almost 10 weeks for us of being at home. At first, I really tried to... control things. I mean, I got my death straightened out and I did a lot of things on the to-do list and all of that.

[50:09]

But as time has gone by, I really feel more like that chrysalis that's in the in-between place. I've let go of having a to-do list. I've I quit creating all those false deadlines. And the really interesting thing from that is that it's given permission. I mean, I sound like some great thing has happened and I don't feel like I'm enlightened in all this, but I am meditating regularly instead of sporadically. But that's because I think letting go of needing to control it means i can naturally do what is most important and each day or even each hour i just kind of do what's most important and yeah yeah i mean i still have a big problem with overeating i mean don't we all i mean we're all cooking and loving food

[51:23]

feels like a gift and you know all that so there's a lot of things but happen but the big one is that I realized how much I needed to control my life by feeling like I was in charge of it And one of the great gifts of COVID-19 was that we are not in charge if we have to slap this around and told us, you are not in charge. Don't take yourself. You know. So that's how liminal time is for me. I find myself really resisting now that we are beginning through these restrictions and be out more and do more things. I don't want to be. I want to stay in liminal time. It feels a lot safer to me. But I'll get over it.

[52:24]

Thank you so much, Gretchen. It's lovely to be here. Thank you. Thank you. I see two more people, a tear and then a rod. So a tear. Matt, can you help me? Oh, I think now you can hear me? I can hear you. I'm not sure. Oh, there's your video. Okay, I found you. Okay. Okay. Thank you so much, David. Nice to see you again. And hi, everybody. Yeah, thank you so much for this talk. It's very encouraging. I also listened to Mary Sparrow's talk on Saturday. I really appreciate how she and you are talking about this other pandemic of racism and how it's been going on for a long time.

[53:28]

And, you know, it's like a time of self-reflection and thinking about what we can do. It means a lot to me. But thank you. What I've been doing, you know, it's been a very emotional time. I've been really physically, emotionally impacted with the George Floyd killing and, you know, how I've been grieving, you know, for the Oscar Grant killing when it was first on video and it started to be on my radar. And each time it happens, you know, as an immigrant in this country, each time it happens, I'm like, I need to move somewhere else, but I don't know where that somewhere else is. But I think the answer is like staying, you know, just like in practice, staying and trying to help in some way. So I guess what I'm doing is like trying to keep my meditation practice and maybe reducing the amount of news media I'm consuming, but also speaking up, you know, and including, you know, I posted something on the event center website, which, you know, made me feel really vulnerable.

[54:38]

But at the same time, it felt good that I was speaking up. So I guess, you know, what I'm hearing from the Black community or, you know, others who are encouraging us to speak up is not to worry about if you're doing it right. Like, just do something. Just, you know, just start being active. So I guess that made me feel good that I'm speaking up in different ways. different forums I'm a part of, and also speaking friends, like talking with friends who also deeply care about these issues. Yeah, so I guess that's all I want to say, and it's helpful to have this practice on your teachings and support, so thank you. Thank you, Ritir. And as you were speaking about support from friends, sometimes the friends create the container to hold us as we turn to mush.

[55:41]

We rely on others as the shell to protect us and to hold us and allow us to be vulnerable because they have us in some way. And Zazen has that way of creating that space to be held. to be held and to be vulnerable simultaneously. So thank you very much, Tia. And then I see Ron, and I don't see your last name, so. There, Ron, hello. Hi, thank you. I like the talk. One thing that struck me though, that it was basically an optimistic outcome for all these events that are happening. Is that really that part of the practice? Well, because I don't necessarily feel optimistic. I don't know what's going to come out.

[56:43]

Oh, it's your basically is optimism part of the practice. You know, we actually say in practice oftentimes to give up hope at a certain level. And that hope is one that is based on things turning out a certain way. But there's another kind of more practical hope that is really about doing what we can, right? We continue to make our best efforts and really in making our best efforts, we create the possibility, we create what's better. So even though we may not succeed in the way that we imagine we wanted to succeed, The vision of something better is what calls us for it. That aspiration for a better world, a world that's free of suffering, I think that you could say that maybe is fundamentally optimistic, but I actually, I think it's fundamentally a way of recognizing possibility that comes up from the place of impermanence.

[58:00]

that all things are fluid, all things are changing, and as such, we can therefore create new ways of being with what is, being human together, and so on. So I'm not so sure of being so clear in that, but I think there's kind of the sugar-coated optimism, oh, everything is going to be rosy in the end. I would say that would be a mistake to fall into that kind of optimism. But the optimism that relies on our inherent Buddha nature, recognizing that inherent goodness that we already are, fundamentally are, that it's there and it's just waiting for us to basically return to it or to reconnect to it in some way. I think meditation gives us a taste of that.

[59:01]

Once we can just sit and be with our experience and notice that we aren't the changing circumstances and conditions, whatever they might be. We're not the person we think we are, but we're something much more profound, something that is vast and boundless. And to be able to just rest in that and taste that and experience that, I think that in and of itself gives us a flavor of possibility. And we can live and act from that possibility in some way. That's actually very helpful. You know, just giving like giving into it, allowing ourselves to feel it. Seems to me that the optimism or optimism are both something else I project on.

[60:17]

So, but you're saying it's kind of unnatural, optimal. There's a natural... There's an optimism that I think is more natural, and it's the recognition of our true nature. Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay, my friends. I think we are at the end of our time, so thank you very much for your sharing, for kind of hanging out in this liminal space of inquiry together and really trying to continue to soften and unfold into something that's deeper, wider, vaster, luminous than our conditioned self, our karmic conditioned self. So thank you again. And Matt has kindly put in a reminder to join.

[61:20]

If you look in the chat field, we have other online offerings. Of course, the online Zendo, which we had in the morning as well as in the late afternoon. And also an invitation to please consider ways that you can support these offerings. So any donation or generosity that you might feel moved to express in some way is greatly appreciated. So thank you for doing that. And I wish you all well. And again, reminder that Thursday, Susan O'Connell will be joining to hold the space together. And I'll see you all next Tuesday. So be well, my friends. Thank you. Thank you very much. Take good care. Thank you. Thank you.

[62:21]

Bye. You're a dog. Take good care. Thank you. Take care, Laura. Laura, as well. Thank you, Laura, Katrina.

[62:52]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_90.89