What's that copy? Folks, we're trying to sort of fill up this half right here. So those of you who need chairs, please feel free to see the chairs. But if you can come forward so that we're a little cozier, that would be great. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to get fair profit.

[02:22]

Thank you. Thank you.

[15:45]

Oh, impermanence. And I'm literally in the midst of it. And the span also feels very impermanent. And I'm going to adapt as best I can. Good to see everyone, week 2024. Let's start out by, I don't know, They know each other. I didn't do that. All right. My name is Reverend. I'm going to say, City Senator Abbott, Michael Bricker, and also Tim, for the invitation to speak today.

[16:57]

And of course, to thank senior government teacher, Paul Haller, and Senator Abbott, Dave Zimmerman, for being here. And sorry, this thing is a little hard for me. I'm going to focus now. And of course, to thank Vicky Austin, my teacher, And then Gail Von Stahl also. And of course, though she's here, in spirit, in fact. When I was told I was going to sit in a sailor seat, and it was an ex-person seat. In fact, I got Paul named Cossie, I got Blanche, because I'm used to Blanche being here. And then they have this very high platform, I feel like in a kindergarten condition, you're not supposed to be in the high bed. And when I was told I was stepping up on here, I just feel like, wow, really a little uncomfortable for me.

[18:04]

So sorry. We have to ask you in so many ways. All right. I really appreciate being the first one to give a talk here at the city center. And . this new layout and all. And in some ways, then, it's about, I would say, right or still full view, which is the first that I have, of course. And I think it's kind of a new year thing, too, to kind of start going, oh, what is it that I want this year to be? How do I set my view, would you say? How are we going to do this year? Do people study the resolution? Is it thinking about anyone? Right. All right. And I am going to be talking from my book, which came out in August.

[19:09]

Thank you for the invitation to talk about it. It's called Homeless Here, Practicing Anti-Racism with the Engaging Folk Path. So I'm going to start the introduction here. I will say the book starts, and I'll say here also, with a content warning. I will be saying some slurs. Is it not an invitation to use slurs yourself, even if it's referring to you, just because it tends to be activating for people? Harvard goes with the book, and so I will be saying it in this context. So the introduction, the homeless of life, location, location, location. Where are you from? No, no, really, where are you from?

[20:11]

Hey, chick, go home. People like you should live in this neighborhood. I was in your country and saved your people. Why do you act like a white girl? You're a Twinkie, aren't you? People like a lot of Twinkies, right, Dan? You want me to explain? Okay, a Twinkie is a verodicatory word for someone who is perceived to be Asian or yellow, on the outside and one on the inside. Buddhism came to America some 40 million or 60 years ago. Don't you know this is the women's restroom? Fucking lesbian. In each moment, we are located by lineage and ancestry, by others,

[21:17]

by ourselves, by sight, by perception, by differentiation, by discrimination, by institutions, by policies, by governmental structures, by systems of oppression, by homophobia, by sexism, by gender phobia, by white supremacy culture. by racism, by erasure, by invisibilization, by exclusion, by inclusion, by equity, by love, with hatred, with fear, with anxiety, with love, with care, with tenderness, with joy, in isolation, in community, in belonging, in no art, in time, in space, in emptiness, in hopelessness.

[22:36]

As a Vietnamese American adoptee, 1.5 generation immigrant cisgender female, when they're non-conforming, lesbian, so do Xanderers, and in the late mid-years of a chronological life, I'm often located by others, as I won't always present or behave in what people believe my social locations can be. For instance, I'm often asked as I enter the washroom, don't you know this is the women's restaurant? Perhaps it would be because of my shaved head to be a priest, but likely it's also because I have been non-conforming in the ways I've kept myself for most of my life, in gender and other socially prescribed manners. When I was in Vietnam in 2002 and traveled with Vietnamese and Vietnamese-American friends, I would often ask me to stay in the van

[23:44]

as they went in to negotiate the lodging price. This was due to the unofficial, commonly-used, tiered pricing scheme. Lowest for current Vietnamese nationals, next level for Vietnamese and diaspora, and most decisive for foreigners. According to my friends, while my ethnic identity was visually apparent, the way I held myself was American. They felt that I exuded too much confidence and took up too much space compared to typical Vietnamese people. For most of my life, I have had to be hyper aware of my separate locations wherever I am, especially at locations imputed on me by systems of oppression. By location, I mean a framing how an individual is designated a position in specific systems and with it the assumptions and privileges, for lack of them, that come with it.

[24:54]

This framing of locationality allows for an understanding that an identity always comes with embedded social power that can change depending on which system is operating in each moment of interaction with another. interpersonally and in structures. For instance, as an able-bodied Chinese American, I'm located in a damp power position, or location that's less privileged within a system of white supremacy. Yet I am in a power or more privileged location than ableism. Understanding one's location is important because depending on the embedded lack of or privilege of power, one's sensibility changes. I've tried to grasp solidly onto some of these locations at times, trying hard to be American or Vietnamese for others and for myself.

[26:00]

At other times, I've tried rejecting locations, especially those repeated on me by others and by sisters. I've done both in many ways, individually and with others, through academic studies, art, there being altruism, activism, and work as a superior. Then finally, when my suffering could be processed thoroughly through those meetings, I leaned into my Buddhist practice. At first, it was out of utter confusion. After my graduate studies, I went back to Bidman for the first time after 28 years. I thought I was going home. But after five months, I realized that the home I envisioned was simply that, a vision, caring for my past and my childhood. This drew me for a week, and I came back to the United States other days I did.

[27:08]

Who am I? Where do I belong? I'd been practicing late Buddhism for almost six years by then. With the scattering of old ideas about myself, I then decided to go to a monastery in Northern California to do some intensive meditation, chanting, and other Buddhist practices. Initially, my aim was a three-month intensive ritual and ended up staying there for three and a half years and ordaining as a priest through the Septicius and tradition. Fast forward to more than two decades later, and with the years of practice and being a Buddhist and invitation teacher, I've developed a more complete sense of how to hold my experiences of social locations in ways that are more grounding yet responsive, fostering healing and respiration. So, that's the beginning of the book, and I wanted to really talk about location.

[28:18]

I think, from this view, I'm obviously in the literal up-out position, very up-out right now, and you all are lovely online, maybe more directly, I don't know. But I think, yes, right? Depending on how we interact with the knowledge, Literally, I am at Paul. Obviously, being senior Dharma teacher, Paul has more power in the temple and also in social locations in the United States. So how we're located depends not just on our literal space, but who we turn to interact with. Now, yes, I did ask you to say hi to everyone. And that was also on purpose. So actually close your eyes for a minute and think back to when I asked you to say hi to people.

[29:29]

Think about what was some of the drive or the motivation or the impetus for who you turned to how we address people. What is the energetic sense? What are the motivations? Think about what might be some unconscious sense. All right. Go ahead and open your eyes when you're ready. Anybody want to say, share anything? I think that came up for you about how you chose to say hi to you or didn't say hi to you. Sure, tell us your name. I chose to say hi to everybody I could see. And would you say being in a Zen form, in a Zen note, literally, you didn't get up to go?

[30:38]

Yeah, so that's simply a form here. Most people would think together. I almost said, feel free to get up, but then I thought that might be more chaos here. Anyone else want to share? Yes, that was your name. Okay, I think we're just proximity. Proximity. Okay, now I'll think back. We'll decide to sit next to you, or we're going to be on the set. And I think not only just poop, right? But also, perhaps, like, I'm actually a little bit harder hearing, so I sit close. But then also, as a Vietnamese American, I often like to sit up front. And so I sit back, even though I have a sense of I need to move forward to be more visible, but I have to fight these kind of conditions. And so we're taught how to... located ourselves all the time. And we're doing it on time.

[31:41]

And certain of us, depending on how much instruction we were given explicitly or implicitly, depending on the various social locations that we've grown up to, have more and more messages about how we should comport ourselves, right? And that's part of what we're hot or conditioning. And then, you know, some of it's perfectly fine. The issue is, are we aware of that? And then from that, how do we want to respond? How much of it is old and unconscious? And are we willing to examine that and then bring more consciousness to? Now, when we also talk about saying hi, really, or the exercise of saying hi.

[32:42]

It's that there's a, for the Zen people in the room, or you probably know that there's a teaching for the Pothicom Sapa Sutra, that interest net. So it's described often as the universe is a net, and at each section in which strands cross, there's a jewel. The nodes, they're jewels. And because of the nature of jewels, the way they're cut, they're faceted, they reflect. And so each node is a jewel, and so each jewel reflects all the other jewels. Sounds lovely, right? And it is about our interconnectedness. We reflect each other, impact each other. And it's a lovely image. Now, sometimes that's used, I think, to have the sense that, no, all the jewels should be the same. That equality is that we all should somehow be the same.

[33:47]

What did you say? Maybe it's just me. Now, I want to really bring in that the oneness, when we want to talk about oneness of practice, that it's the stems, it's the net itself, is where we need to pay more attention, not just on the individual jewels. The jewels are credit the net. So yes, we want to pay attention to the jewels. And depending on if your credit the net has more torn or has not historically been taking care of the strands so that they're broken or that they're weak, then perhaps more attention needs to be put on attending to the jewels in that area. How can we build the net again? How can we fix it? You know, when you look at cobwebs, especially those that seem like they are not intended to, or sections of it, you know, you see a spider, right, and there's a, besides going to get the bug that they're going to eat, they're repairing the nets.

[34:56]

And so you want to think about, hmm, where is it that I don't pay enough attention? to the net. If we're talking about oneness, am I just interested in the net around me, or where I am? And yet, the net, if we think of, if we turn our view to not just be on the jewels, then it becomes the words of the net. But the net becomes the thing that is more important. One way to talk about the net, it says, what is the connection between this? How are those connections made? So as I was writing this book, and particularly this book arose out of a call from students, I'd like to say this book does not start out as a book.

[36:01]

It started out as a response. So in 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic, a lot of Asian-American students called me up and said, hey, I need help. All of this feminist and violence against Asian-Americans is really disgusting. I'm trying to leave my home. How can you support me? And so I actually have been developing me since 2017. I was at Generation X teacher conference, several other people who were at, and it was right after yet another round of sexual misconduct in convert centers, and so the right use of power was brought as a restoration model. And I hope the right use of power, and we've done it here. And then I've been to a lot of trainings in my priest career and some other models always been nonviolent communication.

[37:06]

And I don't know, really I did. And yet, there must be something in the teachings and stuff. That's where I go when I travel. So I thought about it with the support of the Leroy Foundation, the Buddhist Foundation. I've been developing the foreign naturalist to be what I call the engaged person as a restorative model. So in that restorative model, we start out by saying harm and harming us, not just that there's suffering. Because to restore anything, we have to acknowledge that there's been brokenness, that the values that we say that we uphold, the view that we say, oh, there's equality. There's equity. When we hold these views and values, we have to agree on. So much of the conflict in the world arises that disagreement about what is it that needs attended, or is broken and needs to be fixed, would you say?

[38:17]

And so it's really important that at the beginning of Restoration, is to acknowledge what is. So, as I was doing these, I would say there are three, what I call, essential aspects to restoration. One is this, acknowledging what is, which, by the way, echoes the first-level truth, right? Harming-harming has happened, we have to acknowledge it, and then, knowing what shifts are especially needed, and learning how to put those shifts into practice. And then, at last, So, let's talk about knowing what shifts are especially needed. Okay, we'll go to chapter one and just read it briefly.

[39:18]

Okay, in age one of a shifts, they're complete and whole. By the way, Tim, I have no thought, so Can you—or someone can get me a time check? Check for it. Time for it. Thank you. The ring of the bell signals its launching for Gokusong, an interview to discuss my practice with the Soto Zen Master at this 500-year-old training monastery in Japan. I picked up a small mount and struck the cast-wiring bell in front of me. One time, letting it break, Then I stopped them. I rose and hurried down a long half of the tummy necks, a woven straw pouring in traditional Japanese living spaces, passing through the heat height, a narrow room lined on both sides with rows of individual alters for deceased, somewhat unusual neighbors. They silently witnessed the squishing of the clock as my wild, like three strokes

[40:22]

rub back and forth around my ankles with each quick step. At the end of the hall, three steps goes up. I stop at the bottom and perform a short dash-up, bowing with palms touching and elbows out. Then in one swift motion, I grab the end of my zaboo, a priest bowing cloth, laid it down on his tummy and folded it into a square. I dropped down and inserted my full crustaceans as quickly as possible, body crouched in child's pose, both hands upstretched and palms placed on the floor. Then, with symmetrical precision, hands raised past the ears and down again before rising to stand. I did this three times quickly, as is the custom, after which I refolded and slid the Zaku back over my last years.

[41:25]

One, I picked up shadow, and then I chatted up those three stairs to my dokusan Seppei Harada Roshi, the abbot of Koshinji one-story in Obama, Japan. I entered the room ready to ask the maybe central question of my life. I come to Japan, after leading an adultly white campus of Kiddhavan Buddhist Monastery in Central California, where I thought I would spend the rest of my life. When I asked to be already after more than eight years of meditative Buddhist practice, I felt the deep calling to live as a Buddhist next day. But this did not come to me. I left the California monastery after three and a half years there, heartbroken and confused about the racism I had experienced on both a personal and structural level. The persistent white supremacy culture of the monastery made it unsafe and did not support me as a Vietnamese-American practitioner.

[42:36]

This was true for many other people of color staying there as well. The experience was a huge shock to my understanding of wisdom, raised practice, and my sense of place in the world. As I made plans to read that California wrong story, and figure out how to practice as a newly ordained priest, I was contacted by someone who studied under Sakekawara Roshi in Japan. They urged me to study with him, as he was acknowledged as an enlightened Zen Mexican. in predominantly white comfort settings in the United States, and I felt joined with practice in Japan, the birthplace of this type of Buddhism. I'd been at Hoshinji for three weeks, trying to process my despair from having to leave California. There was another American monster, a white one. Instead of being someone I could connect with, she had harassed me, saying things like,

[43:44]

You're good for nothing. You're fractured." Anyway, I thought about it, and I didn't play it, but I'll tell you, she also said, you should die. And hissed whispers as we moved up the various ceremonies and tasks of the temple. I couldn't get away from her either. We were housed in the same nuns' quarter together. We had come to Huxinji around the same time, so we had so much to know already. and we were at the same height, so we were often paired together for ceremonies. Our thankful whispers seemed to follow me all over the temple. The race and the line that I experienced in California can follow me up the way to Japan. And you remember, for doko-san, with sepik rudho. I barely sat down before blurring out the quintessential question of my existence up to that long. Why does hatred seem to follow me wherever I go?

[44:50]

I asked. Seki Harada didn't hesitate. No hatred completely. K-N-O-M-I. No hatred completely. He answered. Then he grabbed the hand now. Tilted right and rang it vigorously, simply in the end of my enemy. I scramble out with them, doing the frustrations and vows in reverse order. My mind raced to make meaning of what had just happened. Nothing came. My mind had stopped. A ko-an in Zen practice is a story assigned by a teacher for you to work with. Various traditions have different ways of practicing with problems. But getting an answer to the teacher as part of the process is a commonality across that.

[45:53]

Now, how the teacher accepts or rejects the answer is part of the mythology of this practice. Well done, Pauline. At this very moment, what is your original face before your parents before? Many people think koans are paradoxes, but really they're stories to stop your mind, to bump it off its group of incessant and well-worn patterns of thinking, planning, and processing. Koans open us to an understanding that's beyond habitual thinking. Life also gives us koans. For me, Racism has been a column I've turned over and over. Studying race theory was one of my answers to this column. Other answers from my life included activism. My latest work as a social worker focused on addressing the harmful results of racism.

[47:04]

All these were good answers. And then you want to say, The question is more important than the answer. Why? Because questions often come up at uncomfortable moments. Deep questions arise when we're faced with circumstances in which a coping mechanism starts working anymore. At such moments, transformation of the language is possible, we can stay open to all answers especially unexpected ones. The system of white supremacy centers white, fragmenting us all into the delusion of severance. Aware of this dynamic and it's harmed people of color, I had to be careful not to simply search outside myself for answers.

[48:06]

Like many Asian Americans and other people of color, At some point, I had to learn to value myself, reclaiming the validity of my own experience in any moment, in any condition. Buddha's practice over many years has supported me to return to knowing and trusting my wholeness. No hatred completely. That moment with Roshis stopped my mind. from a spiritual group being to try to understand racism. All my intellectual theories and years of anti-racist work didn't address my suffering in a useful way at this crucial point of my life. That moment stopped my frantic search to find some reason why hatred kept following me. Nearly young, systems of oppression,

[49:06]

I can begin that from all my grace theory and studies. What I needed was to attend to the hurt and harm from being a target for grace. We practice to be able to find sadness and clarity that's not dependent on the conditions of the world. To find such sadness and clarity, We have to attempt our suffering and body, heart, and mind. The coin of racing was not just something I wanted to understand. What I really want, even now, is to heal from the hurt and pain I've had. So the reason that I really developed the engage four-minute truths.

[50:09]

And then they don't talk about the four-minute truths. They're not just implicit and obvious teaching. But we don't specifically talk about it. And technically, the Eightfold Path was considered a better line of teaching on how to be an aura, right? A person who is enlightened develops the Eightfold Path. And certainly, we focus much more on the six parmitas as the behavior of the dovisai. And so that's partly why we don't hear the specificity. However, can we make that equal path just the fourth of the four noticias? By the way, that we made four noticias, heard it wrong as happened, understanding the second is, how do we fully understand the cause of the conditions for the rising of army, army, . And it's somewhat similar to the classic psychology. However, we focus much more on the suspending.

[51:12]

We're still doing personal work to overcome racialization, but we focus on how we're not just, it's not the South thing on me. It's not only for me to overcome what are the impacts of racism or other oppression. It's to understand that whole systems are responsible for how I can envision. And therefore, systems need to shift so that the healing is not just an individual healing, but a society. And those are important. And then the third is, you know, I like to say the good news of prison, right, is that there's agency. Where is the possibility to know that we have agency And then that's the early heart. Possibly, of course, is the abbreviation of the end of suffering. And then the last is the Eightfold Path. Now, knowing of gifts, I think, but really, I think, elegateness of the Eightfold Path is that it really lays out for us what it is

[52:28]

that we can work on. And so, as I said, I've laid it out as acknowledging what it is, which is to, as the book is laid out in these three ways, the first part is seeing the world as it is. So how do we have a view of the world? And then also, how concentration practice humanity, in fact, practice of concentration really helps us to settle. The Eightfold Path, well, they're eight of them are broken into three sections, right? One is called the wisdom section, which is still for view, which is to understand the four core treatment of karma. Recently, I was thinking karma. Karma, of course, broadly, is cause and effect. It is very complicated. Oh, no. But one thing you think about karma is that it's habitual tendency. or habitual motivation, or unconscious energy, the way in which things start.

[53:37]

We are conditioned, and we act in certain ways, and we behave in certain ways, and we speak in certain ways. We are conditioned. And global conditioning is that, by the way. So to perform in an example, we basically think it's just by bowing to the sea, and then we alternate. Right? It's not being conditioned, but it's in a way to help us all move together as one body. Because then you don't bump into somebody, and then you have to say, oh, sorry, sorry. And then you break the signs of the Zendel. Right? And so you break everyone else's constitution. So just because things are conditioned and like hot forms doesn't make it bad. The idea is, are we conscious of how we're conditioned? And are they useful, man? They line up in these women. In fact, with racism, so many of our parents taught us ways of dealing with the impact of racism.

[54:39]

You've heard about how, in particular, black and young children really are set down by their parents to talk about how they have to be very careful, how they hold themselves, how they talk to certain people, especially cops. in certain areas, very specifically, of course, the white people. You know, when I was in Vietnam, my mother would have to move out of the way when a GI is coming out. So we're taught these things, and the idea is that it's for our safety. Our parents often practice things for our safety. And of course, it can go the other way around, you know, if you're taught that certain people are of color unsafe, and so we shouldn't interact with them. And so the issue is, how do we examine how we've been conditioned and remain useful for us anymore? Is there safety issues in the moment that we have to be attended?

[55:42]

At times, it certainly is true. And for some of us, we are more than others. So it's not in itself a bad thing. But the key is, is it useful now? Is it true in this moment, in each moment that you are? So we want to work on that. And then the second is, when we shift to learning what shifts are needed, we want to go to what the world needs now, or to this book. Skillful motivation, which is actually thinking. Skillful thinking. And then what is on the thinking that's not This is why the more popular translations talk about these days is intention you've heard of probably out of motivation. And motivation, because to me, motivation does give you the sense that you think it, and then you're motivated to move, to do, to speak.

[56:49]

And so it goes actually into the second third, which is what's usually called the ethical conduct section. I looked about the compassion. which is skillful speech, skillful action, and skillful life. This is the interactive part, right? How we speak. Skillful action is essentially the five precepts from one skillful life. How do we use the energy of our life? Not just for work, but it is about work and the teachings. What kind of jobs are, you know, well, some than others. Then book. We bring in a meditative factors of skillful effort and skillful mindfulness into that. And then realizing the wholeness of the world. This is where we get to learning how to push shifts into practice, which is really hard to do in part three. So we want to realize the wholeness of the world by living by the presence of skillful action, which I have reframed as skillful and acting.

[57:55]

Because to be an actor gives us a sense that it's not just the precepts I have to memorize and, you know, decide I'm doing it right or wrong, good or bad, or other people. But it really is, to me, echoes a sense of that. I'm vowing to enact what I hold true. The values that I hold. The precepts. How do I bring those into my mind? How do I act on those? You know, recently, I just finished a whole series of the precept studies for eight months. And someone I talked to in practice session said to me, you know, we just finished. And so they get to write their own, the end version. So that's in their own words. By the way, I got it from VG. I was a binary teacher. So I passed it on to my students. And then I do a little sample here. I was working it up.

[58:56]

I print the alphabet anymore, I put it, lay it out, then I send it to them these days, of course. And so, you know, I say, don't let people put them up, so you can look at the precepts all the time, right? And so this person said, they were so, so, so, so. And then they looked at that precept, like, how working was, I'm terrified. Like, I bet on that when I'm angry. to really examine my anger and find where is their compassion. And so when they look at that, they just thought, okay, where can I have compassion here? For myself and for the person who you have. And they said, that made everything. They gave them a moment. It's kind of like stopping their mind. It's another version of stopping their mind. For myself, it showed with the, whose fault is it? Why am I not getting what I need? Whatever your savings is. when that makes you angry, right?

[59:58]

It stops you, and then it says, oh, re-centers. This is my value here. This is where my enactment is. I'm going to enact this by pausing, thinking through, and recalibrating how I'm going to be in the world's language of another. And they said, wow, that was amazing. And they said, think of it. A thing, right? Here we go. Impermanence strikes again. So, I'm a little frustrated here, but that's okay. All right. So, and then skillfully, what is that energy you want to put behind? All right. I am way behind on my stuff, so I'm just getting thin. Here we go. I'm going to end, actually, with a chapter with Dr. Roshi there.

[61:02]

Let me take some questions. The day after that mind-stopping meeting in Japan, Sakehara Roshi offered me another chance for Dr. San. I rang a vow, did my vows, and went into the practice discussion, ready to share my insights about how this answer had affected me. Before the open eye map, Roshi launched into a lengthy story of Shakyamun Buddha's life and enlightenment along with the histories of other early Buddhist ancestors. Thirty minutes. Then, once again, can you bring me out of the room? We never spoke about my question again.

[62:05]

This event impacted me deeply, and I continued to turn it over for many years afterward. Wondering when one of my difficult songs with Sakigarada wrote me, this last part has always puzzled me. I have been wondering, What was this point about there? In writing this now, I have an understanding of what it was teaching me. The Buddha and ancestors were searching for the same things as you and me, the end to suffer. I think Roshi was saying that there can't be spiritual bypass. He realized this And after that initial exchange, I could realize that I was looking for a way to explain a way to hurt and pain by wanting to discuss it. Discussion isn't wrong.

[63:07]

Theory isn't wrong. Activism isn't wrong. But we can't use these things for spiritual violence. I should also add, Zazen isn't wrong. We can't use Buddhist practice or any methods, such as race theory or activism for Darwin, as a way to stick over the human condition inherent in the First Noble Truths, experiencing the hurts and pains of our lives. Trying to get away from it via any method is to try to stick over or bypass fully experiencing our life as it is. Our practice is to get closer and closer to know it completely. Because in doing so, we can actually then have more clarity on how we can heal. In Pali, the first recorded language of Buddhism, the term Yoniso Bonas Takara, is usually translated as wise attention.

[64:18]

It can also be translated as a tension that takes the whole into account. This is what Sergei Agarei Roshi was pointing to her, the practice of investigating dupdha, which sees it in context, in brutality, in the whole match right now, is the dupdha, and not just the hurt and pain of the moment. Then, The rest of the Engaged Four Noble Truths offers us descriptions and practices for how to connect or reconnect to the wholeness of life. That our existence is seen, relevant, healable, and valued. When we remember and access the contexts that validate us and support us to thrive, not just to thrive, but to thrive. Additionally, We need to remember that all beings want the same thing, to be free from suffering and the catalyst of suffering.

[65:25]

This is what connects us all. Denying that systems of oppression exist is to deny reality as it is. Learning to negotiate these systems with self and collective determined agency is a practice of engaged liberation. In practicing collective liberation, this is what I wish for us. That we may come home to a sense of wholeness, grounded in what is safe and of value to all. May we then aspire to spread that out, to work together to strengthen safety and care for each other. This is the work. and deliberations of understanding, practicing, and engaging. Thank you for your attention. We're having some audio problems, so if...

[66:36]

Leanne, actually, your microphone is the only one that's working right now. So when people ask questions, if you could repeat them so the online folks... Sure. No microphone to answer. Does anybody have a question? Yes. How do you... I use observation... Is that a discussion... I like the way our harm is being done. And what I find, especially currently in the second world, and various books involved, and the social conversations, is the most competition of harm is What's the... What is the approach?

[67:42]

Yeah. You know, it's really... Thank you for your question. And then, for your... I can hear that's a deep question for you. So, just repeat and correct me if I'm wrong. One is I appreciate the framing of the first struggle to fix this harm and how it's been done. And then how they address the harm in the world that's here right now in Palestine. So first of all, I would say that it takes courage to practice Buddhism. And most of us, come to the practice, and at least I know I've been raised in that area, in the United States or U.S.

[68:44]

culture, for the most part. And certainly I started meditation intensively when I moved here in 1905. We come to it for a calmness concentration, which is the result of concentration. There is wildness and calmness of mind. And yet the harder work is actually all of the other parts. of the four normal truths. The practice of instruction of the first normal truth is to investigate her power. And this is why that there's a sense, and part of who's pushing it, is that it seems like, I don't know if you want to say that in a certain chunk of the area. for what's happening in Palestine between and Israel is that there seems to be a fight.

[69:45]

Whose heart is bigger? And so, what is the greatest answer? So, for one reason, I would say, as long as everything is duality, then there's always opposition. There's right and there's wrong. There's not much harm in comparison. If we keep on comparison, why would I usually say that's compared? Or what would they expect? And so, if we keep doing that, then it just keeps escalating, and it becomes a fight. It's like, we've got purpose. When you fight someone, you know, you've got it, and you're a therapist. I'll leave it just a good morning. They get on a teacher and say, oh, are you trying to be right? Or are you trying to connect? That's similar, right? If we keep fighting for these rights, then chances of resolution doesn't happen. However, what is important now, and what is key here?

[70:49]

And I think what is different about the courses that this book was written for, the Dharma being Atta, Racist, and Love is Rising from the Land, is that I'm framing it as not, you know, so much of training on race and anti-racism, which, you know, or nationalism, is about how to understand other people, right? And I think that's useful in the back of that. However, what really is needed is helping make room for other voices to tell us what is the hurt and harm. and take that in and give it as much value as we think of her part. And the irony of that, though, is that you have to heal your own arm. This book has been mostly for people of color. So actually, everyone is affected by white supremacy culture or nationalism. Or, of course, of nationalism.

[71:55]

So we have to heal from it. Because when you can attend your home and your pain, then you have the space to really put up and see a little more pain and give it as much value. If there's a culture in which my pain needs to be seen, my pain needs to be seen, and it's continually pushed down, then it makes it hard for you. Then it becomes that, like, this part is bigger than this part. This is why so much of a ceasefire book is about, we're for peace here. How we all, if we all want peace, not about both groups, usually many more, both groups have got equal amount of historical, extreme amounts of historical liberation, oppression,

[72:56]

And so, if we think of it as continually upping each other, then, actually, the fight continues. That's why. Till I will say that, you know, more and more in practice, right? There's a book called The Two Wings of Reason. One is the wisdom, and one is the compassion. Sorry, students, you've seen this already? So it's the two wings. One is wisdom, one is compassion. Now, for a bird to fly, both wings have strength. However, if we depend too much on wisdom, what happens? We just fly in a circle this way. If we depend too much on Compassion, what happens?

[73:58]

We apply too much in a circle this way. However, we do need to have strength in both and the wisdom of discernment to know which thigh needs a little bit more effort to direct us in the direction we want to go. So at times, we over-depend on one or the other. We don't give ourselves one another. as much credence. I know at lunch when I'm fighting somebody or I have a disagreement. I perseverate on the facts. I know right now there's a lot of stuff about what the facts are, and the facts are that important, especially when we learn at this stage. It doesn't mean that important things. It just means part of our practice is to realize why not be following too much on the inside of it. Our practice is to find the equanimity, to have a sense of nothing overwhelming. by either one or the other.

[75:00]

Where's the minimal way of any duality? When do I all be set up? Does that answer the question? Is that too risky? Okay, thank you. All right, do we have time for one more or not? One more short. One more short. All right, I will just pause now because there are two people talked before, so I said, anyone who hasn't spoken and would like to speak, edge it up for your wish to engage. I invite anyone who usually hesitates to move forward. All right, ready? Justin, what do you harm is inevitable? You're perfect. Yeah, or when you've been hardened by one person, and it might be related to structural things, but that person isn't going to get an answer.

[76:09]

I'm a survivor. Yeah. So listen to it. Oh, sorry. The question is, what do you do when arm is being done to you by an individual, even though there's structural stuff behind it? And that person is going to fix it. Give it in anyway, is what you said. Oh, give any amends as well. Oh, give any amends. Yeah, this is the hard part about restoration, is that we want amends, and they don't want to come. Because the problem is, for someone to amend, they have to agree on what the issue is, through the knowledge what is the harm. And many of us, you know, even though, I mean, come with you when I said, harm or not being able to be just, like, shrunk a little bit. That sounds like, well, I mean, sorry, it sounds like a lot, but harm or not being like, well, I don't do that, I don't do that, you know?

[77:09]

And it's hard to practice the, you know, don't hate it completely. How do I transform harm? And I'm part of that. So two things I would say. One is that hopefully the structure will then move up, right? And if you have gone for the structure and they refuse to do anything, the other thing is part of discernment and wisdom is to know when the environment that you're in is toxic. And so it's not going to give you a restoration. They might later. Hopefully they will later. But at some point, you have to decide, this is more hurt and harm is happening, especially if I'm denying of the hurt. And the key is to find others to support you, so that you don't feel isolated.

[78:11]

Part of any oppressive genocide, I almost guess it's that word now, is that they fragment us. They stigman us. They create conditions in which it feels unsafe to speak their truths. And that falls on the people who have the power of any organization or system to really understand Many years ago when I was bringing someone in to help with anti-racist work in an organization, that person that told, we'll start out by talking with everyone at Assumpa about how we see this. And then at the upper echelon, she'd say, well, what are you going to do? What's your methodology?

[79:12]

And then we'll talk to everyone first. Because from there, we figure out what needs to happen. Many of us want close distance to come in and fix everything. The things that they fix, they help, they help to have a curriculum, to have some layout. But what has to happen is that everyone must be willing to do the work. And if the people in power are willing to do the work or create an environment in which this kind of work is valued, and important, then it's never going to change. So that toxic environment, you have to say, oh, that's hurting home right there. And it's that better than that. I can't do it myself. So how can I get support, and then have, like, perhaps three weeks to attach it in my way? All right. I'll be respectful of the time in here.

[80:13]

In our own intention, it glories to the very end of the race. In the way, the true man is a part of the God's way. It is our God's purpose. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. ... [...] or about to the side part?

[82:07]

Good morning, everyone. Good morning, everyone. As you know, it's obvious that we're going through renovation here and finding our right in this new year. But I want to let you know that the present is open for Zazen in the evening. in the mornings, also obviously for Dharma Talks, and we'll also be using the Conference Center in the next year, or at Harvard for different events. So this is a transformational time, but you're invited to join us for all the events here at the Conference Center. Everything is on our schedule on the website. There's also Zahra Zen instructions most Saturdays at 8.40 a.m. Please check the calendar for when those are. There's also Zendo forums today with Roger. Right after this, we can meet Roger in that back corner there, and he will guide you through Zendo forums.

[83:46]

Beginner's half-base tent for tomorrow has been canceled, but the next one will be on February 4th, and it's open for registration. Also, our winter practice period here at Supercenter will begin on January 24th, led by Abbott Mako. You can join as a visitor, or online, or a hybrid combination of both, and sign up on the San Francisco Center website. The next talk here will be this Wednesday evening, January 10th. Zachary Smith will be the speaker. We also have a film One of the things that we're going to do this year are a number of films at the conference center next door. And the first one is called Growing Up in America, Life After the Taliban. Director Isabella Sobolaga will be here. She's a former resident of Green Gulch and City Center.

[84:49]

And she'll be able to screen the film and do a Q&A that says 7 p.m. And please consider supporting San Francisco Center with your donations. and your presence. There's ways to donate online, in person. It all helps support all the activities that we do here at Sunset Center. Now comes the fun part. There will be tea and cookies in the conference center next door right after this. You are welcome to stay and mingle, so please join us. Is there an announcement from Burbank Gate Socket tonight? This, all right. So everybody's on this practice group demanders and volunteers.

[86:00]

There were more members. map . And we meet every Saturday morning at 8.30. Or we have also a Google group email that can send out announcements about more details about where do we meet. Meet the concept. Where's Jen? If you want to join at Google group. And we Our practice involves several variables in supporting the Zendo, and also we meet staff at TripWorks for the session with . And if you're not familiar with the conference center, the conference center is right next door into this building, 308-page street.

[87:07]

So if you go out over the Brunner Street door, head right to that page, the very nice building, you'll see black feet outside, and that's where all those events will be held in the conference center. Finally, if you're able to spend a few minutes helping us put the Zen Note back together after this, that would also be much appreciated. Thank you so much for coming, and enjoy your weekend. Yes. Yes.

[88:23]

What are you doing? I don't know what it is. [...] Thank you. We can break down the speakers, put them back on the hands, and then the lamp goes back up. I'll leave this card and the computer here, but that card actually will be done once we have the speakers in.

[89:28]

We didn't see where it could be. Sure. Parents. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm not going to keep receiving it because it's an idiot here.

[90:30]

So I'm not going to talk to you about it. It's not that you put your innovation into [...] it. That plant can be turned off and brought back up. discussions against what's going on. Well, there's simply, [...]

[91:33]

Yes. [...] I think most of the students don't have it. Yeah, we made this a lot better.

[92:56]

I don't yet know for sure it's that what happened. So let's say you're sitting here waiting to see whether this person's .. So it doesn't end .. I think the latest collection... I think the latest collection... I think I thought it was messed up. They might be a person who crossed me. That's actually Tim.

[94:05]

We were scrambling to find ways. I went to my place, got the music stand. I'll change it in this last one. I'll select those kids. He's a great speaker over a few years. So the afternoon is on the left side. He starts to get with that.

[95:14]

That would then go back to your seat. I hear you go in here. Do not cross and from the altar. It's going to be a big camera plane so you're talking about. Why is this going to go back? Where do the tables live? Over there. That plane is big. Oh, my self are going back. This is going to go all the way around this road. So we need to do some . So you need to . [...]

[96:43]

So you step out. So something about having not many people in this area. We were connected and able to see Zoom, but our Wi-Fi connection to the audio mixer broke. That's interesting. Yeah, we'll have to ask people to turn off their phones completely. Well, I actually am going to talk to IT. I think we need to... We need to... It's just not, Wi-Fi is not strong enough in here, is the problem.

[97:45]

It's just not reliable enough. Either I'm going to work out some hardwired connections for some stuff, or we'll do something. I mean, of course, it is good for people to turn off their phones, but I think that's it. We're blessed. So, Noshi was a priest. Well, he's up at the end. And it opens the zender, meaning that they come in, and they go up, and they do an offering, and they come back, and there's three vows. After they do their three hours, yeah, you've got to be balanced. So if you were waiting out there, if you didn't make it worse at the moment, then you hear that food can.

[98:51]

Is this at the end that saw them? No, that's at the beginning. Okay, so there's a break between the second roll down. The second roll down, not entering those three bells. No, not entering. Those three bells happened after the third roll. But before the end starts? Well, That's the start of his eyes. Okay. And his limb can also. Okay. Yeah. What's the purpose of the time where you can't enter? The purpose of that is the doshi, the priest, is opening. I see. Literally opening the zenith. I see. So zen ritual. Yeah. So the doshi comes in, as mentioned, goes up and makes an authoring. then comes back and does three bows, and then they turn and go with it.

[99:57]

So what actually happens is that after they give the three bows, they go to their seat and they bow. They come back here, they bow once, ding, they go to their seat, bow, ding, they bow away from it, ding. So the doshi's done opening a zendo, and you see it. You can then enter in that sword. Yeah, it's far without the point where Zaza starts. Zaza starts in the description. So it is worthwhile, I think, at least in Europe. Yeah. Between four of us, it's a problem. Yeah. And it came with somebody who's in the way. Yeah. Some people always aren't in the edge. Some people never. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, and there's one bow at the end, it's awesome.

[100:59]

And that's when you sit and you bow and then turn your head off and flip the cushion and you bow to it. But if you've one bow and you're still on it. OK? All right, let's go check out some of the instruments. Well, it was Saturday. It wasn't too bad. No, it was pretty good. I thought that was good. Yeah, it went down. Yeah, it was still good. I thought we were spread out safely. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good position.

[102:03]

Yeah. Well, I'm trying to get... I saw somebody using one of them as it was... Oh, so you... Yeah, so... Alex was suggesting what it's like... Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, so that... And I was like, great, there's someone to do, so that you're sticking out of it. Or whoever's hosting the event. But like it's the other way I'd send it in a photo case to go . .

[102:50]

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