This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everyone. Special welcome to the kids. Wonderful to have children here. Do you know whose birthday we're celebrating today? Whose birthday? Buddha can you tell us who he was well you're going to learn a bit about him today because I'm going to talk about the Buddha's childhood about how he was born and share some stories with you you might not have heard before well the Buddha was born in India which is a very I wish the kids were sitting right here is that possible yeah This part of the talk is just for you, so you can all listen to.

[01:07]

So the Buddha was born in India, which is a very big country, and it's all the way on the other side of the world from us. And he was born a really long time ago. And so I want to tell you some stories about when he was little. You know what I think would be great is if first we all took a long, some three long deep breaths, okay? Maybe your teacher does that with you at school. Okay? So let's breathe in and out. In and out. In and out. Well, in ancient India, because this was many years ago, there was a custom that when a woman was expecting a baby, she was expected to return to the home of her parents. And so Queen Mahamaya was reaching the time of her child's birth. So she and her husband, King Sudadhana, rode in a cart back to her home.

[02:20]

Well, they traveled and traveled and soon they came to the gardens of Lumbini, these really beautiful gardens. And the queen said, wait, this is where I used to play when I was little. Let's get out of the carriage and walk among the trees and smell the flowers. So they did that. But when she was walking under the trees, she suddenly knew her baby was about to come. So she leaned against the tree and she held on to a branch to steady herself. And miraculously, out of the side of her body, this baby slid out, and it was taken in the hands of invisible beings, and the little boy was placed on the ground. And he smiled and looked around at everyone. This is very unusual behavior for a newborn baby. So his parents, of course, were quite surprised. And then the earth trembled, and beautiful blossoms sprang out of the trees. And that little boy took seven steps.

[03:23]

Would you count with me? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And then he stopped and he lifted his hand to the heavens and he said, looking to the north, the south, the east, and the west, I alone am the world-honored one. Very powerful voice for a newborn baby. Well, when they returned to their home, the king and the queen invited many people to come and see this very unusual child. And one of the people that came was a wise man, a fortune teller, and he wanted to tell the fortune of this extraordinary child. So he looked deep into the little boy's eyes, and the little boy looked back at him with very wise eyes of love and compassion. And the fortune teller said, this boy has two paths before him. He will either grow up to be a powerful ruler or he will grow up to be a Buddha, an awakened being.

[04:30]

And he will teach many people how to be happier within themselves and kinder to one another. And so a great naming ceremony was held and King Suddhodana said, this child's name is Siddhartha. And Siddhartha means one who has achieved his goal. But there's a very sad part of this story that a couple of days after Siddhartha was born, his mother died. Yeah, his mom died. And so his aunt, Mahaprajapati, his mother's sister, came to the boy and cradled him and said, From now on, you are my son, and I am your mother, and I will be the best mother to you that I can be. Well, it soon became clear that Siddhartha wasn't exactly like the other children. He loved to play with them and hang out with them, play games with them, and he always treated them with kindness and gentleness. But he would very often be found just sitting by himself in the forest under a tree, just smelling the flowers and feeling how good it was to be alive.

[05:40]

Do you know the story of Ferdinand the bull? You should read that book someday. Ferdinand also liked to just sit and smell the flowers. He didn't want to fight like the other bulls. I think that was the first Buddhist book I ever read. So the queen and king, now Mahaprajapati was the queen, they decided to have a harvest festival, invite all the people in the kingdom to come celebrate. And there was a young woman whose job it was to take care of Siddhartha when his parents were busy. And they asked him to care for the boy so that they could greet their guests. And the young woman took the boy to the rose apple tree. She spread out a blanket, played with him in the shade. But she was young. She saw her friends laughing and enjoying the music of the festival. So she left the little boy. She said, you'll be okay for a few minutes, right? And she went off to be with her friends. But The minutes turned into hours. And in the heat of the day, Maha Prachapati went to the young woman and said, where's my child?

[06:45]

Well, the young woman, his babysitter, she was quite upset with herself. She was kind of blushing. She was feeling so badly. She thought, did the boy wander off? Was he injured? Is he boiling in the sun? So she led Maha Prachapati to the rose apple tree and sitting in the shade, was Siddhartha. He was sitting there, back straight, legs crossed in full lotus, eyes slightly closed, hands in his lap, and in a deep, deep state of meditation. So all the people saw this, that he was sitting there like a master, and they didn't want to disturb his contemplation, so they quepped away everybody but Mahaprachapati who sat down with him in the shade. and she was so touched by his deep sense of peace. Well, as the boy grew, he loved to wander in the forest and by himself, and all the wild animals would come to him and be with him, and they would eat right out of his hand.

[07:52]

The red fox and the spotted deer and the sloth bear were all his friends. And there was a little sunbird that liked to perch on Siddhartha's shoulder when he would ride his beloved horse, Kantaka. Now, every prince has to learn to ride a horse and shoot a bow and arrow. But Siddhartha only used a tree trunk as his target. He didn't want to kill the animals. But he had a cousin named Devadatta. And his cousin, this is very mysterious to us, but his cousin loved to kill animals. And so Siddhartha was very upset by this. And he said, why would you kill the beautiful creatures of the forest? They're so free, so beautiful. And Devadatta just laughed at him. So one day the two boys were coming back to the palace and a flock of beautiful white swans flew overhead. And before Siddhartha could stop him, Devadatta pulled an arrow out of his quiver and he notched it in his bow and he shot.

[08:59]

And yes, the arrow hit the lead bird and she fell to the ground. She was wounded, not dead. And Siddhartha rushed to her side. He removed the arrow and then he picked some healing herbs from the side of the path and rubbed them into the wound to help her heal. "'Look what you've done,' said Siddhartha. "'How could you harm this beautiful creature?' Devadatta said, give her to me. I shot her and she is mine. Well, right then, one of the king's men came riding by. And he saw the boys arguing. He said, what's going on? And they told him their argument. And the man said, I think we should go see the king. He'll have something to say about this. So there was Siddhartha and Devadatta. Siddhartha was holding the swan in his arms. And they told the king the story. Devadatta said, I shot the bird. I'm a hunter. This is right. It belongs to me. And Siddhartha said, nothing is more precious than life. I want to keep the swan and heal her so that she may one day fly again.

[10:04]

Well, King Sudhana, he felt badly for his son because he knew that his son couldn't stand to see any creature suffer. But he also knew that it was the custom in their culture to hunt. and that Devadatta had shot this bird. So he turned to a wise man to ask his opinion. And the wise man thought, and then he said, nothing is more precious to us than our lives. I think the bird belongs to the person that is trying to save her life, not to the person who's trying to take her life away. Do you agree with that? You think he should save the bird? I think so too, yeah. So Siddhartha took the bird and healed it. And after some time, the bird was feeling much better. So Siddhartha took that beautiful swan in his arms and he walked across a far field. And at the edge of the field, he petted the swan's head and the swan looked at him and Siddhartha said, now it is time for you to fly away and join your flock.

[11:12]

and end your life the way, you should live your life the way it was meant to be lived, and have it come to its natural end. And the swan blinked at him as if she was saying goodbye to him. And then he threw her up in the air, and sure enough, her strong wings carried her away. And the Buddha looked at her as she flew away, and in that moment he realized, someday I too am going to have to leave the comfort of my home. And find my own freedom and my own truth. So that's the story of Siddhartha's childhood. And you know, it might seem very strange to you that someday you're going to want to grow up and leave your home. But your parents are preparing you for that. They're making you strong. They're teaching you the difference between right and wrong. And someday you're going to go make your own life in the world. Now, my daughter, when she was about your age, Nova, my daughter, said to me, Mommy, I want to live with you for the rest of my life.

[12:19]

And I said, I would like that too. But I'm pretty sure when you're about 18, you're going to want to go to college and move off and be on your own. And you know what she said to me? She said, well, if I do, remind me, okay? Remind me that I want to live with you. But when she was 18 and I was seeing her off to college, I reminded her it didn't do any good. It didn't do any good at all. So thank you for your kind listening. Do you have any questions for me about the Buddha? Well, I know some fun things are planned for you, so I think you're going to go now and have some fun. Thank you for being here, okay? I did need that table.

[13:33]

Well, that was nice to have those young faces. Some of you know I taught children for 35 years, and so it really touches me to see those curious faces looking up at me. So now for the heavy stuff. Well, we're living in such slippery, slidey, uncertain times, and there's suffering all over the world. People are suffering from the ravages of war, from... climate change, from the illnesses of racism and homophobia and misogyny. And in our own community, we've lost two of our members recently. So I think it's very timely for us to pause on this beautiful spring day and consider the life of the Buddha, who said, I teach about suffering and about an end of suffering. Now, when the Buddha was asked, who are you? What are you?

[14:57]

He would answer very simply. He would say, it's simple, I'm awake. I'm awake. In fact, the word Buddha means just that, one who has awakened. And the Buddha spent his entire life offering the wisdom of his own understanding to anyone who wanted themselves to awaken to the truths of this world. Siddhartha Gautama was born around 563 years before the common era. And he was born in northern India in the Ganges River plains in an area that's now known as Nepal. His father wasn't actually a king as we would think of one, but more of a feudal lord. But it's true that Siddhartha grew up in very advantaged circumstances with everything he could hope for, you know, luxurious surroundings, doting parents, and everything he would need, great wealth. And in Buddhist texts, he's described as being exceedingly handsome and graceful.

[16:01]

His parents protected him as much as they could from any idea that there was suffering in the world. And he was dressed in white silk and protected with white parasols. And it is said that when he would go out into the world, a servant would go ahead of him and clear away... any sign of human suffering. So if there was anyone who was sick, who was dying, who was old, they would be shuffled away so that the Buddha wouldn't, or Siddhartha at the time, wouldn't see these dismaying figures in the world. At 16, he was married to his wife, Yasudara, and they had a son, Rahula. Despite his shelter's existence, when he was old enough to see for himself. Siddhartha did encounter the truth of sickness, old age, and death. He went out into the marketplace and he saw someone who was ill.

[17:03]

He saw someone who was old. He saw someone who was dying. And it brought forth this deep question in him, why do we suffer? Why is there human suffering? And this is, of course, a universal question. When my daughter Nova was eight years old, I was tucking her in to bed, and she looked up at me and she said, Mom, why are people born to suffer and die? And I was so startled that my little eight-year-old daughter would ask me that question, and of course, very touched by her sensitivity, you know. So I didn't know what to say, really. I said, you know, honey, those are questions that... people have been asking themselves as long as there have been people. And she said, you know, Mom, that doesn't really help. But, you know, the other thing that the Buddha saw was a luminous monk with a begging bowl.

[18:03]

Here was a person who had virtually nothing compared to this pampered youth. And yet he was glowing with a kind of wonderful, beautiful... that Siddhartha could see. And so it occurred to him, there must be an alternative to the pampered life that I've been living. And so he left home, he left his wife and his son behind, and he searched for others who were seeking with the same questions that he had. Now, it always bothers me that he abandoned his family. That's a little glitch in the story for me. But Mahaprajapati, his adoptive mother, did... become his first woman disciple. And later, Yasodhara and Rahula also joined him. When he left home, he took up the life of an ascetic. This was a tradition in India, very punishing ascetic practices of self-harm. He ate very little.

[19:05]

It's said that there were times when he'd eat nothing but one grain of rice a day. You might have seen pictures of the Buddha with his ribs showing. totally emaciated. He denied himself every pleasure, dressed in rags, traveled around with his spiritual friends and seeking Hindu teachers that could help him understand the questions that he was asking. But, you know, as his body starved and as he became weaker and weaker, he realized that either he couldn't penetrate the the meaning of his distance without this very mind and body. And at the moment, it said, he was sitting under a tree, and right at that moment when he had this realization, a young girl came walking across the field and handed him a bowl of rice porridge and said, this is for you. Well, this was the beginning of Siddhartha's practice of the middle way, a practice that is neither wildly indulgent nor

[20:09]

punishingly cruel, but a life lived wholeheartedly and with common sense, you might say. Legend has it that Siddhartha found his way to the city of Bodhgaya, to the Peepul tree, P-E-E-P-U-L. It's a tree that's now called the Bodhi tree in honor of Buddha's awakening. And he said, I will not move from this place until I achieve enlightenment. And he sat down under that tree in deep meditation. Well, soon the demonic figure, the threatening figure of Mara appeared, this demon. And Mara brought forth all kinds of temptations to distract the Buddha from his contemplation. Trays of delicious food, beautiful dancing girls. And still the Buddha sat still. He rained down hurricanes and flaming rocks, and yet the Buddha sat still.

[21:12]

And then armies shot arrows down at the Buddha where he sat, and he gazed at those arrows and they became flowers and drifted slowly to the ground, and he still sat. Finally, when Mara challenged his very right to sit there under that tree and court, the Buddha touched the ground and raised his hand in the air to affirm his deep intention and his right, really, to wake up. And right then the earth trembled and flowers fell from the sky and witnessing Siddhartha's deep intention, Mara, disappeared, vanished into thin air. Well, as he remained still sitting through the night under the Bodhi tree, Siddhartha's meditation deepened and he perceived his profound interconnectedness with all living beings.

[22:14]

When he finally looked up and saw the morning star, the last shreds of his ignorance dissipated and he was awake. Well, he probably could have just floated off to nirvana at that point, but instead he stood up. And he wanted to teach what he learned to other beings. Someone's in trouble right now, so let's think of them. May all beings be happy. May they be joyous and live in safety. He wanted to teach, so he looked again for the that he had traveled with before and taught them his first teaching, which was the Four Noble Truths. These are very familiar to most of you, I'm sure, that in life there's great suffering, great anguish, and that the cause of our self-created suffering, I've heard it elsewhere described as the deliberate manufacture of misery,

[23:25]

is our deep craving and desire for things to be different than the way that they are. In Sanskrit, the word is tanha, which literally means thirst. This desire or this craving. So we're often restless, dissatisfied, thirsting after some blissful moment we've experienced in the past or that we look forward to in the future. And the Buddha taught that the way towards peace is is in living in harmony with our inmost selves, where our thoughts, our words, and our deeds are in congruence with one another. That as we think is how we speak and how we act, this kind of wholeness that we can have in our lives. And Buddha called this, the Noble Eightfold Path, a way to go forward in this troubled world. amidst the suffering, against a backdrop of impermanence, and live with integrity, gratitude, and generosity, practicing these principles in all our affairs.

[24:34]

Now, I've learned that the Buddha's teachings were conveyed orally for about 400 years until they were written down by monks in Sri Lanka. Doesn't this speak to an ancient ability to memorize vast amounts of... teachings and they come down to us although it may be that with that passage of time we're not sure it's hard to know what's literally true about these stories but I feel that Buddha's story is our story and I'm going to say that's the title of this talk Buddha's story is our story when the Buddha leaves home to find the truth when we learn about that we can think of our own family our own dysfunction, our own habitual patterns of living, our own ancient twisted karma, and think about how we had to leave behind these things that we were brought up to take for granted, to find our own truth and our own life's journey.

[25:39]

We have to question the culture that we grew up in, the values that we see around us that we've taken for granted. We just thought, well, this is the way things are. But when we look deeply, we find we actually have a choice in our lives about how to live. When the Buddha touches the ground and raises his other hand to the heavens, he's really not only saying that he has a right to awaken, but he's affirming the great potential within each of us to wake up, to wake up to our lives. We may not have grown up in a palace in northern India, but If we want to wake up, we have to confront the truth of impermanence. Many of us have had a profound experience of loss or grief that has led us to the source of the Buddha's teachings. I don't think very many people wake up and say, gee, it's a beautiful day. I think I'll go sit cross-legged staring at a wall for the rest of my life. You know, I think usually something very cataclysmic has happened.

[26:45]

to make us really question the way we've been living and come to practice. Often we find that things and people that we trusted and believed in are whisked away and we feel bereft and lost and ready for practice. This is the ripe ground of practice. If we continue to find it hard to accept impermanence, you know, the fact that everything changes, we will be constantly in a battle. It's also important to examine the stories that our family and our culture have told us and find our own path. And this often gives us the discomfort of having to make uncomfortable the very people that we spent our whole childhood trying to please if we're going against the grain of what they believe in. And in this challenging world that demands so much of us, we may turn towards addictive behaviors to soothe ourselves and decrease our anxieties.

[27:51]

This could involve substances or literal alcohol and drugs as a kind of panacea. But also many other addictive behaviors we indulge in. Shopping, excessive screen time. food, risky behaviors. All of these things have the flavor of addiction. And I address many of these things in the book that's come out from Shambhala, The Zen Way of Recovery. And this book was written from my own experience of alcohol abuse and my recovery from that in 1985. But I'm really pleased that people who are not literally suffering from addiction and in recovery are finding these Buddhist teachings to help support them with their own self-defeating behaviors. Of course, phones is a big thing. I often go by someplace and there's six people and they're all looking at their phones. I saw a Roz Chast cartoon recently where there's a tombstone, and on the tombstone there's a picture of a cell phone, and then etched on the stone it says, 50% looking at it, 50% looking for it.

[29:04]

And, you know, I caved in and got a cell phone a while back, but I kept my landline. And then one day I realized I only have this landline so that I can call my cell phone when I've lost it under the couch. That's not worth $50 a month, you know. But to get back to addiction. Addiction is the opposite of awakening. In addiction, we numb ourselves. We escape the present moment. we go into a dark place within ourselves. It's often littered with resentment and self-pity and a kind of turning away from the vast brightness and vividness of life. At first, these behaviors, because they kind of tamp down the executive functioning in our brain and maybe we're a little more spontaneous under the influence, But we can spend the rest of our lives chasing after illusions and never really stopping to face this insatiable desire that Buddha talked about, again, tanha, or thirst, the desire that causes our self-created suffering, always craving something new and different, always dissatisfied, always off balance.

[30:23]

And in extreme forms of addiction that some of us have experienced, we face the consequences of our actions and how we may have harmed ourselves and others while under the influence. And we might look back on friends and family that we've betrayed, dreams that are unrealized. We may find ourselves in a seemingly unending loop of addiction where we feel shame and guilt that leads us back to the illusion of relief that is offered by addictive behaviors. The figure of Mara in Buddha's story is an interesting one, and it sounds like an enemy outside of himself. Actually, I think Mara is a wonderful archetype or symbol of our own tendency to distract ourselves from the present moment. You know, nobody needs to lead us astray and distract us and take us away from our peace and our stability and our concentration.

[31:27]

We're perfectly capable of doing that ourselves, even when we're sitting in the zendo. I once spent quite a bit of a sashin planning a mid-practice period celebration skit, so I wasn't exactly in the present moment at that time. If we're involved in addiction or in habitual self-defeating or self-destructive patterns of mind and body, we cheat ourselves over and over again of the wealth, that's right in front of us, the people that are sitting beyond our cell phone, you know. And this tendency to numb ourselves from suffering, it stifles the voice inside of us that could awaken us to an inner wisdom. I'm very moved by the story of Amy Winehouse, who lost her life to addiction. And, you know, she sings, I cheated myself. like I knew I would.

[32:30]

This is the cheating of ourselves that we do when we move away from real life, you know. And she knew that. But that self-knowledge didn't save her. In the Dhammapada, an early teaching of the Buddha, the Buddha says, the thought manifests as the word, the word manifests as the deed, the deed, hardens into habit habit hardens into character so watch the thought and its ways with care and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings transforming habitual self-defeating behavior into a more wholesome way of living demands the same sense of purpose the same deep intention the same piercing insight that the Buddha brought to the foot of the Bodhi tree. And if we want to be released from this endless loop of craving, we need to find within us the courage to sit down right in the middle of a crazy life, just as the Buddha did, and face the darkness.

[33:42]

We need to be honest about how our habitual thoughts and behaviors have in some cases warped our lives and harmed others. And in transforming our lives, we may identify so deeply with our anger, our pride, our self-righteousness, our rightness, our opinions, our depression, our substance abuse, that we might wonder, well, who would I be without this? You know, it's a radical transformation. But if we can just lighten up a bit and open to new possibilities... we might find a world of light, of true friendship, of freedom, of joy. Our bodhisattva vow that we take, we vow to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. And we don't transform our lives just for ourselves. We become who we are meant to be for the benefit of all beings, for the benefit of these children that hopefully will grow up into a different world.

[34:53]

I think I have time to tell you a story as I close. I was sitting Sashin at Tassahara in the old zendo that later burned down. This must have been in the winter of 1978. And it was the seventh day of Sashin, seven days of sitting. And we were all sitting in that old zendo, that stone zendo. And I was new to practice and... The tradition was we had to wait for the abbot to come back and give a short evening talk. And then after he left, then the senior students could start to leave. And then us lowly newbies, then we could leave the Zendo. So I was just waiting there in excruciating pain. Please come back. Please come back. So the abbot comes back and he approaches the altar and he stands and he turns and he says... I will not move from this place until I attain enlightenment.

[35:57]

And right at that moment, I hear Ray Crivello in the back of the Zendo, and he goes, uh-oh. But because I'm sitting here now, you know I was eventually allowed to leave the Zendo. So we have some festivities planned for Buddha's birthday, and I... You know, we don't worship the Buddha. We look at him as an example of a way that's possible for all of us to live in instability in this world we find ourselves in. So thank you so much for your kind attention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[37:01]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[37:04]

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