This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. What a beautiful group. This is very inspiring. So, welcome to the our Sushin Sangha. For how many of you is this your first Sushin? Would you raise your hands? A fair number. Okay, I wish you well. And we'll have an opportunity probably sometime later today to meet as a group and have a sort of group practice session if you'd like to do that. It'll be optional, and you can come if you want to ask any questions you might have or check in.

[01:07]

So that'll be announced, the time. I haven't thought about the time, but we'll announce it at the work meeting. So I'm really very grateful that to be able to do this with so much support. I think of how easy it is for me and what Buddha had to go through in his process of waking up. He traveled around India on foot. tracking down teachers he had heard about by word of mouth and checking them out and practicing with them to see what he could learn from them. And he begged for his food every day. And I think he sat outside in the elements a lot of the time.

[02:11]

And most importantly, he had to discover for himself how to wake up, how to practice. So I have that sort of handed to me from Buddha and the ancestors. I have here very conveniently, right here, a choice of good teachers, a lot of teachers. And I have a Kindle full of Buddhist teachings that's easy to carry and it's just available anytime I want it. It's amazing. We sit in a beautiful, clean, comfortable Zenda. And there was support for me to set aside this time for Sushin, time away from work, to do this.

[03:13]

I think that's not something everybody has. So I'm glad that the people in this room have that We have good food and fellow practitioners, so all of you, so that we don't have to do this all by ourselves. So I think everything has come together in a very fortunate way to make this interdependent experience that we can have these next three days together possible. And so I feel responsible to make my best effort to make good use of this opportunity. This sushin is the culmination of a practice period that's been going on for six weeks.

[04:16]

And the theme of the practice period is practicing with intention, making a difference in the world. And as I was thinking about these talks, I have a question about how to bring intention practice into Sushin. Because... The instructions that we usually hear for Zazen and Sashin are about not doing. And I think that intention is often about doing. But not doing doesn't mean that we don't make effort. We just make a different kind of effort.

[05:20]

And we moved in the direction of our intention by putting ourselves in supportive circumstances. In other words, by enrolling in this sushine. So this is time that we've set aside and planned for. and hopefully looked forward to, and now we're here, and we've made a commitment to sit. So what is your intention for Sashin? I suggest that you formulate a really simple, clear, intention for Sashin that can be expressed in just a few words that isn't thought-provoking and that you remind yourself of your intention at the beginning of every period of zazen.

[06:38]

What's happening to the sound as this float bobs around on my ear? Okay. So I think by being here, we become part of a larger Sashin body that includes all of us. We move together as one body as much as possible, supporting all the limbs. We give up our individual ways. and merge into the sushin body. We eat together, we sit together, we breathe together. I inhale your exhalations and you inhale mine.

[07:45]

I depend on your showing up so I can give this talk. And you depend on my showing up so you can hear this talk. We depend on each other so that we don't have to do this alone, which I think would be impossible. The Lotus Sutra says, only a Buddha, together with the Buddha, can fathom the reality of all existence. So we need each other. We depend on each other to do this practice of waking up. I think that...

[08:50]

the fascicle fukanza zengi by Ehe Dogen, the founder of our Soto Zen school in Japan. So we chanted this this morning, that long chant. It was very long, wasn't it? Gives us excellent instructions, is an excellent guide for sushin. And I want to quote just a little bit of it. For senzen, A quiet room is suitable. Eat and drink moderately. Cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs. Do not think good and bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all movements of the conscious mind.

[09:56]

The gauging of all thoughts and views. Have no designs on becoming a Buddha. So what does that mean? What are we supposed to do? How do we practice? We give up pursuit of goals, plans, strategies, attainment. We give up clinging to preferences. We follow the schedule as best we can. We enact the forms and rituals. and we try to sit still.

[11:02]

We let thoughts come and go and don't pursue them or think about them or follow a train of thought. We allow our life to unfold without expecting anything. We accept our life just as it is right now. We accept our body and mind. And we accept our karma, the circumstances of our life, in this very moment. So that all sounds very simple.

[12:09]

It's simple to describe, to give that instruction. And I think you know from experience that it's not so easy to do. It's the effort that we'll make in these few days. So Sachin offers us a rare opportunity to practice not doing. Usually, in our worldly lives, we have to make decisions and pursue goals. So this is a special time out. a luxury for us to savor and treasure, I think. But our tendency to plan and think and seek what we want is so strong that not doing that requires our continuous effort.

[13:26]

Our monkey mind always wants to play with us and is always jumping around trying to get our attention to do something fun. So we've barely started sitting, but I think you know from your experiences that zazen is a very physical practice. And we may not have the perfect body or the body we want. We might want some other body that probably just has different problems. So I urge you to take good care of your body right from the beginning of our sitting.

[14:34]

It's the vehicle you have to do this practice with. Whether it's the perfect body or not, it's the one you have. And we're all in the same boat. I love the line in the which we've been chanting for noon service a couple days a week during practice period, and we'll chant it for noon service during this sushin. It's one of my favorite chants, and I'll say more about that tomorrow. I love the line, in this life save the body, which is the fruit of many lives. Because what it means to me is that my body is amazingly the result of everything that's ever happened throughout time and space.

[15:44]

And so is yours. And to me, that makes it sacred. And of course, everything is sacred in just exactly that same way. In our full moon ceremony once a month, the doshi says, to expand the dharma with this body is foremost. The virtue returns to the ocean of reality. It is unfathomable. We just accept it with respect and gratitude. So whatever flaws, handicaps, lack of beauty, or pain our body may have, still it allows us to be alive and to sit zazen.

[17:01]

and I can't help but be grateful for it. So find your most upright, balanced, relaxed, alert, and comfortable posture that you can, whether you're sitting on a cushion or a bench or a chair or lying down. find a posture that is a little bit effortful and comfortable if you can. And it may be difficult. I think that sitting for a long time is not what our bodies naturally want to do.

[18:05]

So when we try to sit for a long time, we experience pain and restlessness and the desire to move. And sitting without thoughts is not what our minds are used to doing either. So we may have mental restlessness as well. So how do we practice with physical discomfort? People often ask that question. Our ancestor, Ehe Dogen, says, Sazen is not learning meditation. It is simply the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. I can remember when I first heard that, and I had just started sitting sashins, and I thought, where is he coming from?

[19:16]

That's not my experience at all. And then, I think Reb was teaching a class, and he said, Dogen calls zazen the comfortable way. and I had the same feeling about that. My teacher, Michael Wenger, said zazen is the easy way. And where he was coming from when he said that is that he has Parkinson's, and it was beginning to decline for him steeply. He was facing that illness that no one wants to have, you know? And he was saying, zazen is the easy way to learn to live.

[20:18]

You have to face some real things like this. He didn't say those words. He just said it was the easy way. I remember Leslie James. when she was president of Zen Center, which was quite a while ago, giving a Dharma talk, and she said that she found Zazen to be such a relief and refuge. And, of course, she was a very busy person. And I was just as puzzled by that, although it makes complete sense. And now I'm puzzled that I was puzzled at that time by her saying that. So it took me a long time to understand these comments because my own experience was that sasen was physical suffering. And I often ask myself why I continued to do it.

[21:22]

So this is where our commitment comes in, our vow, our intention. It keeps us going When our practice is difficult or life is hard, then we fall back on our vow and our intention. And our body and mind work on each other. So if you're experiencing physical pain, it agitates your mind. And if you're experiencing mental agitation, you may have restlessness in your body. But as we begin to quiet both, to still our body and quiet our mind, they work on each other.

[22:30]

They quiet each other. And then at some point we can really understand that Zazan is the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. And it is. So Shin is a wonderful opportunity to cultivate patience, which is one of the six perfections or paramitas. I love Shantideva's Way of the Bodhisattva. And one of the verses about patience in that book is, there is nothing that does not grow light through habit and familiarity. Putting up with little cares, I'll train myself.

[23:36]

to bear with a great adversity. So I think this is what Michael Wenger was pointing to. Sitting, Sashin, facing and dealing with a little bit of discomfort helps us to cultivate strength and character so that we can face and cope with the difficult things that come up in our lives. So how do we do this in Sashin? We follow the schedule completely, even if we don't want to sit the next period, really, or would rather do something else. We eat what is offered, even if it's not what we want right now. And we let go of our favorite comforts and distractions, such as reading and writing, listening to music, phone calls, the internet.

[24:50]

We unplug ourselves. And we try to sit still. So sometimes people ask questions about When should I move? If I'm in pain, when should I move? And first of all, I think it's important to know your own body and its tendencies and any problems it has. And to know the difference between pain that might do lasting harm, if you sit with it, and transitory pain. that's just uncomfortable in the moment. And the question to ask if you don't know the answer to that might be, how long does it take for the pain to go away or the numbness to go away or your feet or legs to wake up after you stop sitting?

[25:54]

And if it takes a really long time, stop and take care of yourself. get help, come talk to me. But assuming, am I still okay sound-wise? Assuming that it's pain that won't harm you, check in with your body, talk to it, and ask it if it's willing to be still for just a minute. for one more breath. No? Feels funny.

[27:18]

There. Okay. Thank you. Sorry. So ask your body if it's willing to sit still for one more breath or two more breaths. And if it says yes, check again a little later and keep checking in. And let your body have the final say. At some point it may say, no, I've had enough. It's time to move. And if that happens, then move enough to actually relieve your pain or discomfort. So I'm not sitting cross-legged anymore, but when I did, I was unable to go from this to this directly. I couldn't just recross my legs. I had to, in between, sit with my knees up to my chin and in a rest position so that everything sort of started circulating and moving again, and then I could get into the new position.

[28:25]

So do what you need to do to take care of your posture and your body. You can do that. I think Sushin brings to life for us and demonstrates the most basic Buddhist truths of impermanence and interdependence and no self. So we focus on our breathing because it's in between ourselves something that we do and something that does itself. We let our breath breathe us. And I think that's a good example of allowing the myriad forms to come forth and experience themselves rather than us going forward

[29:32]

and experiencing myriad forms. Do you think so? So when we sit in some discomfort, waiting for the bell to ring, or deciding whether to move or not, we see impermanence. We learn that our experience will change even if we don't. even if we don't do a thing. It will change on its own. Because whatever is causing our discomfort in this moment may not be present in the next moment, since everything is always shifting and changing constantly, never staying the same for even a second. And I think it's... very useful to pay attention to that experience in zazen of what your experience is, how quickly it changes, how little you can predict it.

[30:41]

So we're going to continue sitting here for a few more minutes, but I would venture that I and you, none of us, have any idea, say in one minute, what your experience is going to be. It's just always changing and it's unpredictable. And I think that's encouraging sometimes. It's encouraging if you're suffering to know that it will change. You don't have to do something. And the forms of service, our rituals, are great for showing us interdependence. There are so many parts to play, each person fulfilling some role and enacting part of the service. And they all work together really smoothly and seamlessly.

[31:50]

I wonder if you've noticed that during morning service, From the time the kokyo, the chant leader, announces the first chant until jiho sanshi and the bells and bows, the sound is continuous. Either we're chanting or the kokyo's chanting or bells or the drum are happening. It's continuous unbroken sound throughout service. very smooth and beautiful. But that assumes everybody does exactly what they're supposed to do, exactly when they're supposed to do it. And if it doesn't happen that way, and of course sometimes it doesn't, there's a little dissonance or a little gap or something, and we notice it. So I remember a time when I was eno, and I was filling in for the kokyo,

[32:56]

But I was pretty absent-minded, actually, and I forgot that I was filling in for the kokyo, and I was just sitting there enjoying service. And it was rolling along, and it was beautiful. And then there was this little gap, and I thought, oh, someone should be doing something. And I realized it was me that I should be announcing the chant So that's how it works. It's such a demonstration of our interconnectedness that I think it's really beautiful. And you can look at the jobs list on the easel outside and see that it takes a lot of people to put on a sachin, a lot of people doing a lot of things. So I think that this Sashin form preaches the Dharma to us, doesn't it?

[34:05]

And yet it's empty. It's full of moving parts, different individual people doing things that make the whole thing. come together and be beautiful and flowing. And I love that about service and about our rituals and forms. And I hope that you'll enjoy them that way during these few days and appreciate our interconnectedness. It's so wonderful to have everybody here. Let's see what time it is. Do you have, are there any questions?

[35:08]

Heather? I think that's a really good question and it's a tension that we have. She asked, how do you distinguish between gaining mind and intention? I think you can have an intention not to have gaining mind. I think gaining mind wants something. And actually, I think when we practice, we feel... that even the tiniest little wanting something immediately brings tension to our bodies. It's sort of a red flag, you know? You feel it in your body. It can be very small. It can be a daydream about a grilled cheese sandwich, you know? And suddenly your body tenses up a little tiny bit.

[36:13]

So I think intention is less heroic and calmer. And it isn't so clear, really. You know, gaining idea is a tricky, is a slippery slope. It's easy to go there because we're trying to do our best. We want to make use of this time. All those are virtuous things, but we can slide into gaining mind. And I think the idea is just, just do what you're doing. just follow the schedule, just sit, just sit still, just eat lunch, and not think, oh, if I do this, this will happen, and I don't know. It's the best I can do. Thanks. Yes. I think you have to know whether it's healthy pain or not.

[37:22]

And if it's not healthy pain, you should move or do something. If it's just healthy pain, I think that it's worth trying to sit with some. You know, when it starts screaming so loud that that's all you can pay attention to, maybe it's time to move. But I think you build your ability to to sit still and be comfortable. And it's not a matter of enduring. It's a matter of getting comfortable with it. And that's probably going to take some time. It's a gradual process, but I think you do it by trying to do it. Thank you. You're the last question. Yes. I can't remember.

[38:30]

Sanzen, right. I can't remember. I've looked it up, and I don't remember. We used to have something here called Sanzen students, and I don't remember. Does anybody else know? Do you know, Jean? I think it more or less is. I looked it up, and it didn't seem... I didn't remember it. Yes? Mm-hmm. That's what a Sansan student was. It was the privilege of having Doka-san. And I can imagine that that might be what it is. Thank you. So I think we should stop. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[39:33]

For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:42]

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