I'm not sure it's a good evening. But that's the way this talk is going to go, I guess. There's a sixth century phrase. The inner tangle and the outer tangle. This generation isn't a tangle. Who can untangle the tangle? untangle birth and death, untangle greed, hate, and delusion. Who can untangle that? And there's another koan from the 10th century. How is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall? Master Uman says, body exposed to the golden wind.

[01:05]

My mother died about almost a month ago, a little over a month ago. I thought that's what I was going to talk about. When somebody that close to you dies, like the whole universe dies, there are things I'll never know about myself now, now that my parents are dead. And of course, with each new birth, the new universe arises. And I've been noticing that I'm getting older. Have any of you noticed that you're getting older? A few of you. At least a few of you are copying to it, anyhow. Getting older is very interesting.

[02:16]

It's like you switch, become too young to too old. There doesn't seem to be a perfect age. It's a superior, she said that when you're in your 40s or maybe even 50, you look like your parents. After that, you look like your practice. There's something about that koan, how is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall, body exposed to the golden wind, that there's some opportunity in getting older. There's some opportunity in dropping a lot of your desires and maybe some of your abilities and seeing what remains.

[03:22]

Being able to see the golden wind without desire. And so I thought I had this talk nailed down and then President of the United States goes on the television just before me. I think he was warming it up for me. And he wants to borrow $7 million from you and I. $7 billion from you and I. At some point, the zero has just become to help bail out the government. Wall Street. The inner tangle and the outer tangle. You know, the fall is a time, that koan, how is it when the tree weathers and the leaves fall, body exposed to the golden wind.

[04:38]

Sometimes it's translated as body exposed to the autumn wind. fall and the winter are the time to when the light goes away to find it inside you. And when everything is dark outside, it closes the mystery of things. And so what do we do about getting older and My definition of who is young has changed a lot. But there's always a march of generations. And often there's a competition between generations. wherein it's best that each generation helps each other.

[05:51]

When my mom died, it didn't hit me too much. Sometimes it does. When I go down the street where she was living, all of a sudden things seem to go dark. She and I had worked out our relationship quite a bit in the last few years. And of course, she didn't go anywhere. She's still here. But I miss her. Your ambition changes when you get older. It means the ambition is just to live another day. You have a chance to appreciate things without expecting anything should be a certain way.

[07:08]

Finally exposed to the golden wind means wow. just to be conscious. It's pretty good. And then, of course, there's the $7 billion bailout. And there's the inner tangle and the outer tangle. How can The younger generation presents the older generation for what it did and what they've inherited. The older generation thinks they've learned something from being the younger generation. And they wanted that to be appreciated. But it's all stories.

[08:17]

You know, the Japanese, we could talk a lot about Japanese Zen and its pluses and minuses, but today I want to talk about its pluses. Each generation has its place and is honored. The older generation tries to help the younger generation, and the younger generation tries to help the older generation. And it's not a matter of ambition. When Huitsu Suzuki, Suzuki Rishi-san, did this sushi at Crestone, Colorado, last year, this year, he brought six You have monks with him.

[09:25]

And they were Japanese Buddhism at its best. Six people looking for ways to help, looking for the next thing to do. Looking to see how they could be of help. And Huitzu was just looking for ways to help them, to give them experiences, to put them in a situation where they could learn from themselves. So I don't know exactly what my mother's consciousness was toward the end.

[10:33]

Her memory went and she could get frightened. But many times she just had this wide accepting consciousness. And everyone liked to be around her then. I was in her room and she waited until everyone had left the room except for me. Maybe she waited. It's a story I tell. And then she said goodbye. She stopped breathing. It was a very... There's just the two of us there.

[11:33]

And my mom, my mom's legacy about what she brought and what she could continue. I remember the story she used to tell when she was pregnant with me in the 1940s. in Brooklyn, New York, she would picket the Brooklyn Union Gas Company to hire black people. And now there's a black person who's running for president who looks pretty good. I don't know if there's a connection. but I can't help making some kind of connection. You know, it turns out that the Democrats and Republicans are all Buddhists. They're all voting for change. Of course, in Buddhism, the things you want to change often don't change, and the things you don't want to change often change.

[12:49]

As I get older, I think I appreciate things more. I'm not as angry when things don't go the way I want them to because I'm getting used to them that way I want them to. But how can we How can we, no matter what age we are, help people younger than us and older than us? While not necessarily buying the younger or older than us point of view. But being of help is not a matter of... You can be of help to anybody. without needing a judge to, well, should I help them?

[14:13]

Are they good enough for me to help them? So, Gogan says to turn the light inward and illuminate the self. Let the endarkenment dress the mystery of things. Seniority is an important thing.

[15:17]

Because in a Buddhist community, talent is not so important. So sometimes talent wins out over seniority, particularly for certain positions. But to honor seniority, it's not a matter of judging how good you are. When seniority is not honored, then people feel judged. Rather than just letting go. Just letting go, what does that mean?

[16:20]

Yes. The inner tangle and the outer tangle. Who can untangle the tangle? For 1,500 years we've been asking that question. Who? Each one of us has to. That's who. As best we can. And if we can't, to die trying. And how is it when the leaves fall, the tree withers? It's got nothing to defend.

[17:26]

Appreciation comes easy. And still there'll be problems with seven billion dollar debts, which I can't even imagine. But actually, It's the time to feel the golden wind. We recently had some priest ordinations.

[18:38]

And when you're ordained as a priest, sometimes you feel that golden wind. Everybody expects more of you. You have to deal with all this clothing which is not the easiest to handle. And yet, the bottom line is closer. People expect more of me, so you have to expect more of yourself. Not in a proud way, but in a... What else is there to do? There was a woman staying here for a week or so. She happened to be the same age as my mom, about two weeks after my mom died.

[19:52]

And I really... She had great heart. She had trouble breathing, but she just... did what she had to do. And I did some painting with her. I showed her a little bit about brushwork. And she had great freedom in her brush. She had a lot to learn about brushwork, but she had great spirit, which you could see in the work. She only had She was told that she had a year or a year and a half to live. And she wanted to live alone. She didn't want to live in a community. That's the way it goes. You want to be independent and do everything for yourself.

[21:04]

But there comes a time when maybe you can't. my mom, there was some point where I decided that she shouldn't live alone and I moved her out here. She lived with me and my wife and son for a little while, but that didn't work out so well. So then I found an assisted living place for her, which worked out pretty well. It's always a She probably would have wanted to be independently living longer. And yet for the transition for a later life, maybe as it would have been done earlier, it would have been better. So I told her when she explained the problem to me, I said, find the AARP and have them tell them what you want and have them

[22:13]

tell you what's available in the area you want to live in. You take control even if it is in surrender. So I told that this $7 billion thing is going to be the ruin of all of us. And not doing it is the rule. Some of them said, go on. In fact, one of the announcers, one of the announcers, they call them announcers, but the commentators, when reacting to the, everyone saying that they had to do something, he said, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. There's another Buddhist on television. Not that that was the right answer or anything, but... You know, there are two Zen aphorisms.

[23:30]

Don't just sit there, do something. And don't just do something, sit there. You have to know which to do when. So for economically hard times, that means usually people want to live in Zen Center. When the economic times are fine, they want to live outside of Zen Center. Or I should say we. I think I've forgotten half my lecture, but maybe that's for the best.

[24:54]

Are there any questions that will bring up the other half of my lecture? Whatever you are, wherever you are, do your best. What else is there to do? And don't put off doing what you want to do for another day. Do that most important thing now. And then if you can help somebody, do it.

[26:01]

So don't delay. Do the most important thing and be helpful. Then maybe we have a better chance of untangling but tangle with all our help. And when things are gray, exhale and see if there's a golden wind. I've been telling people to write death poems at the brain. mother died. And that's a very good practice to write a death poem. And I always say that you don't have to worry about it being very good at all because you won't be able to hear the critics.

[27:14]

But then I thought, well, maybe we'll do some birth poems too. And then they became death birth poems and birth death poems. This community we live in is a rare thing. And it's got many faults. And it's got many virtues. How rare it is to live in a community and to rub up against each other. There's a tendency at times to pull back. And sometimes one needs to pull back and needs to go in.

[28:26]

But the more you give to the community, the more you get. Thank you very much.

[28:40]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_90.14