Welcome to this room, which we call... zendo, which means zen hall. And we practice in this, we practice perfect wisdom in this hall. The zen path is

[01:02]

the path for those who aspire to realize perfect wisdom for the welfare of all living beings. Those who aspire to Buddha's perfect wisdom for the welfare of all beings are sometimes called bodhisattvas, or enlightening beings, or heroes and heroines of enlightenment. The career path to Buddhahood is called the bodhisattva path. And in one text, which is called the Diamond Scripture of Perfect Wisdom, a student asks the Buddha, how should a bodhisattva who has... or how should one...

[02:40]

who has set out on the path of the bodhisattva to realize perfect wisdom for the welfare of all beings. How should one stand? How should one progress? How should one train the mind? And the Buddha said, one who has set out on the path of the bodhisattva should think like this. And I'll abbreviate what he said to should think that no matter how varied living beings are,

[03:46]

no matter what form they manifest, I vow to lead them all to nirvana. I vow to lead them all to peace and freedom and joy. Buddha says, those who want to walk the path of the bodhisattva should think like that or give rise to a thought like that. And then further they should think and yet even though and yet when I lead innumerable unlimited beings to nirvana no beings have been led

[04:48]

How so? Because the bodhisattva does not hold an idea of a being, does not hold an idea of a person. does not hold an idea of a self. And not holding an idea of a person is how the bodhisattva leads persons to freedom. Not holding an idea of a self is the way the bodhisattva leads all beings to peace and freedom. So the bodhisattvas have this vow to live for the welfare and freedom of all beings, and they also have the vow to realize a mind that doesn't abide anywhere, that doesn't abide in anything.

[06:05]

So it isn't just that the bodhisattva vows to help all beings, they also vow to to realize perfect wisdom so that they can be successful. And it isn't just that they vow to realize perfect wisdom. They make that vow so that they can lead beings to freedom. When they realize the vow to not abide in anything, to enter the mind, of wisdom which doesn't abide in anything. So this hall for practicing Zen, the practice of Zen in Japanese pronunciation and in Chinese, in Japanese, the practice of Zen is called Zazen.

[07:13]

sitting Zen. In Chinese they say, the practice of Zen is the practice of perfect wisdom. So this hall has been dedicated for beings like us to come in and practice enlightenment. practice perfect wisdom. To come in here and practice and live and live a mind which doesn't abide in anything. And by not abiding in anything, the mind that doesn't abide in anything enters into imperceptible way of helping all beings and being helped by all beings.

[08:23]

That mind enters into an imperceptible realm of relationship with all beings and accord subtly with the practice and life of all beings. We say zendo, but you can also say zazendo. A hall for practicing enlightenment. A hall for discovering and expressing the mind which doesn't abide in anything. Which is the mode of saving all beings from suffering. Suffering is defined sometimes, like this morning, suffering is defined as abiding in things.

[09:39]

Abiding in a body, abiding in thoughts, feelings, emotions, abiding in perceptions, abiding in attitudes and judgments, abiding in and colors, smells, sounds, tastes, and tangibles. Abiding in any of these phenomena is suffering. Learning how not to abide is freedom from suffering, and also offers the chance to display, to show the freedom from the suffering of abiding. Most Sundays, I don't know about this Sunday, we have introductory instructions to the practice of enlightenment.

[10:42]

I think it usually happens about 8.30. It usually happens about 8.15. come and we give them introductory instruction to the practice of enlightenment, to the Zen practice of enlightenment, which we call Zazen. People are taught how to enter the room. Are they taught how to enter the room usually? taught how to enter the room, they're taught how to go to the place of sitting and how to address the place of sitting and how to get on the seat and then how to take care of the body. Excuse me, but what I really mean to say is they're taught how to bring the body into the room.

[11:55]

and how to move the body in this meditation hall and bring the body to the seat and get the body on the seat, and then with the seated body to continue the practice. But taking care of the body at the door and bringing the body in is our practice of enlightenment. It starts with taking care of the body. we sit and we take care of the body and that's breathing we take care of the breathing body at our sitting place and the sitting place is called the place of enlightenment it's called the dojo the room is the dojo the whole room is the dojo which means enlightenment place and the seat is the dojo the seat is the place of enlightenment

[13:01]

And every place in this room right now is a place of enlightenment. There are unlimited places of enlightenment. Wherever there's a living being, there's a place of enlightenment. And the process of the path starts with taking care of the body. Caring for the body. Caring for where the feet are in walking and where the feet are in standing and where the feet are in sitting. We take care of the feet of the body. We start the practice of enlightenment with the body. We take care of the arms and the legs and the head and the back and so on of the body.

[14:03]

of the breathing body. We care for the breathing body. And the instruction, the introductory instruction, is to point out various parts of the body to take care of, which some people might not have noticed were there to care for. We talk about how to take care of the hands, the lips, the tongue, the teeth. how to care for the eyes and the forehead and the chest and the abdomen and the back and the neck and the arms and the armpits. We go into some detail about... We don't just say in general, take care of the body. We point to different places that you can take care of in the practice of enlightenment. The practice of enlightenment... requires that we take care of the body that we've got here to take care of, and from there, to take care of other bodies too.

[15:12]

But we start with this one usually. And as we care for the body, we have the opportunity to notice... mind and consciousness. We have the opportunity to be aware of what's in consciousness. And for example, we might discover that there's anxiety in consciousness, that there's fear, that there's caring for the body, but that there's stress around caring for the body. that there's caring for the breathing body, but there's anxiety around caring for the breathing body. That there's caring for the person, that there's caring for the feelings, that there's caring for judgments and opinions about self.

[16:21]

And caring for judgments and feelings about others. Like for example, If I take care of my body, I might just happen to notice that I'm breathing. And if I notice that I'm breathing as I take care of my body and my breathing, I might notice that I think I'm not a very good meditator. Or that I'm not a very good person. Or that other people aren't good meditators. Or that I am a good person. Or that other people are good people. Such thoughts arise in consciousness. And starting with taking care of the body, we then take care of mind. And we, in the process of taking care of it, we may notice that there's stress and anxiety. That there's fear.

[17:26]

And we may notice that when we have judgments about ourselves and others, and there's anxiety around the judgment, we may be able to notice what it's like when we abide in things. If I notice that I think you're a good person, and I notice I feel anxiety about that thought, perhaps I've just discovered that I'm abiding in the thought that you're a good person. If I have the thought that you are not my friend, and I feel anxiety about that thought, I may then be able to discover I'm abiding in the thought you are not my friend. If I have a thought that you are my friend, my very good friend, and I notice that I have anxiety thinking about you as my very good friend, my dear Dharma friend, perhaps I've just now discovered that I'm abiding in that thought, in that judgment.

[19:01]

If I have the judgment that I'm sick and I feel anxious about that, perhaps I'm abiding in the thought I'm sick. If I have the thought I'm getting sick and I notice that I'm afraid of that and stressed with that, perhaps I'm abiding in the thought I'm getting sick. I could give more examples. Perhaps you have enough to see that no matter what I think, no matter what I think, no matter what I feel, no matter what my mind is doing, if I abide in it, I will be stressed and anxious and afraid. And that stress is sometimes low level,

[20:22]

and sometimes medium and sometimes high. Sometimes so high that I, you know, I can be almost paralyzed. On the other hand, if I think I'm worthless and I don't abide in it, I'll be perfectly relaxed with that thought. Free as a bird, and ready for a better or worse one. You're not only worthless, you're also ugly and cruel. Well, anyway, let's have a discussion about that. And if I don't abide in any of that discussion, this is the path of enlightenment. no matter what I think of myself, no matter what I think of you, no matter what I'm feeling, no matter what I'm doing, if I abide, this hinders the path of peace and freedom.

[21:40]

If I don't, if there is no abiding, not even to say I don't, but if there's no abiding in I and no abiding in don't, and so on, then there's freedom, then there's wisdom, and then there's liberating beings by showing the path of liberation, which is the path of not abiding in anything. I have a dream that yesterday we had a class here at this place for practicing enlightenment. And during the class, I was talking quite a bit for some reason.

[22:46]

It seemed that way. And I was talking about celebrating the practice of not abiding in anything. which we call, what do we call that? Zazen. I was talking about celebrating Zazen with people who, I had this idea, people who are really interested in practicing Zazen. I was, what we call it, preaching to the choir, you might say. And so I brought up the word celebrate to... I guess I wanted to celebrate with the choir the thing that I thought the choir was usually singing about. Zazen. Enlightenment. Freedom. Not abiding anywhere.

[23:47]

So I started talking to him about celebration and I mentioned some of the meanings of celebrate. One meaning of celebrate is to... Praise something. Like praise the practice of enlightenment. Another meaning of celebrate is to perform something. Like celebrate zazen by performing it. Celebrate enlightenment by performing it. So this room, I would say, is a place to celebrate enlightenment. Another meaning of celebrate is festivity. And rejoicing. And then some people started to look like they had trouble with the idea of rejoicing at sitting here in this room, taking care of their body and so on. That was just a bit much. I went too far. It looked like that.

[24:50]

I didn't say, have I gone too far? But some people said, kind of like, I'm not into festivities when I'm sitting. I don't rejoice about Zazen when I'm practicing Zazen. Anyway, I went on talking like this, and I got the feeling like, well, I don't know, I felt like maybe I was out of tune with people. I was getting too celebratory. Another meaning of celebration is to make widely known, to make famous. The root of the word means to frequent or famous. To make the practice of enlightenment famous. Make it as famous as like the San Francisco 49ers. Like some of you are here instead of watching the game.

[25:53]

It's amazing. I thought some people would not be coming today. Maybe they didn't. So for those of you who like to watch the famous San Francisco 49ers, it's wonderful that you came here to hear about the famous Zazen. So famous. And also, it's not just from the... you know, in the autumn that we practice it. We practice all year round. And you can practice it any time, any place by not abiding in what's happening. Not abiding in what's appearing in consciousness. But I'm telling you this because I confess when it seemed like I was getting out of touch when I had the thought.

[26:54]

Maybe I'm getting out of touch with with the community talking about Zazen this way. They seem to be withdrawing from me. Or maybe I'm not sensitive to their suffering enough. Maybe if I knew how much they were suffering, I wouldn't dare to talk about rejoicing and festivities. So then from that class up until not too long ago, I've been trying to attune myself to the suffering of the sangha and behave accordingly. Attune myself to the suffering of the community. To try to become intimate with the suffering of the people here practicing enlightenment. So I haven't been talking too much about celebration. I've just been trying to attune with the suffering, with the stress, with the anxiety.

[27:56]

with the fear of the practitioners. I stopped beating the drum of not abiding in anything, not abiding in anything. Listen to the teachings of the Buddha's perfect wisdom. I stopped beating the drum for a while. Now I'm beating it again. And part of the reason I stopped beating it was I think I was dwelling a little bit or somewhat in the thought of celebration. I was dwelling a little bit in the thought of perfect wisdom. I was dwelling a little bit in the thought of how wonderful it is to be devoted to beings and to have this mind which doesn't dwell and which accords with all things.

[28:58]

That wonderful possibility, I think I was dwelling in it somewhat. And I was anxious because of it. But I tried to attune with the anxiety I was feeling. And I was also kind of dwelling in the idea that I was out of tune with the suffering of the community. And I tried to encourage myself to be in tune, but also to be in tune with the anxiety I felt because I was abiding in the thought that I was out of tune. I had the judgment. I'm not in touch with the suffering of the sangha. But I abided in that thought. And I suffered. And then I practiced acknowledging the suffering, the stress around the thought, I'm out of touch.

[30:14]

I acknowledge that I was feeling stressed because of that thought, and I acknowledge that I'm probably dwelling in the thought I'm out of touch. I could also have the thought that some people would probably like me to dwell on that thought. And they might say, yes, I do. However, again, I don't have to dwell in the thought that other people would like me to dwell on my thoughts and suffer. If you want somebody to suffer, just wish them to dwell on their thoughts. I propose that's the foundation of all suffering, is dwelling in the thoughts that are appearing in our mind, which look so opportune for dwelling. They look so real, like you can really dwell on this one. Some of them don't. Some of them look like

[31:25]

Like you might look at somebody and say, there's a thought that they're really a wonderful person, I'm not going to dwell on that one. Some people even have nice thoughts about themselves and they say, I'm not going to dwell on that one. But the reason, and if they don't, yeah, some people have really nice thoughts about themselves and they say, I'm not going to dwell on that one. And they might be doing that because they say, because I want to practice not dwelling. but it might also be because they're dwelling in something else. Getting the picture of how complicated it is? Karmic consciousness, where these thoughts appear and look so opportune to dwell in, is very dynamic. So if some things appear... And we sense that we don't want to dwell in them.

[32:29]

But the reason we don't want to dwell in them is not because we want to have non-dwelling wisdom, but because we're dwelling in the opposite of them. Like somebody appears, you know. You have your dwelling in the thought that somebody is your enemy and they appear as your friend and you say, that's not true. I'm not going to dwell on that. How can you just say, that might be true, that this person who I usually think is my enemy is my friend, best friend even? This is my best friend. This is my best friend, that idea appears. How did that get in here? Because usually I have this person who's not my best friend, not even my second best. And I kind of dwell in that. And I'm stressed about that. And now here comes that they're my best friend. I'm not going to dwell on that. But I am dwelling.

[33:37]

While I'm not dwelling in that, I'm dwelling in something which is rejecting that. But to switch from this is not my friend to drop that and not dwell on that and switch over to this is my friend and dwell on that, It's the same thing. But sometimes when I'm dwelling in something and someone presents a contradiction to what I'm dwelling, sometimes the contradiction might help me find my dwelling and I might say, thank you, contradiction. I'm not going to dwell in you either, but thanks for helping me not dwell in what I was dwelling in. Thank you, contradictions to where I'm dwelling. So I'm actually not so anxious now. And I hope that I don't have to really be anxious.

[34:39]

I hope that I don't have to be anxious in order to be in touch with the anxiety of all beings. I hope I can be anxious or not anxious. and be in touch with the anxiety of who's ever anxious. I actually am proposing to myself that the way to be in touch with the suffering and anxiety of all beings is the mind of no abode, and that being in touch with the suffering and anxiety of all beings realizes the mind of no abode. that if I don't have the mind of no abode, I'm only going to be able to be in touch with the suffering of some people. And some could be zero to a large number. Some could be zero.

[35:41]

But let's say some's 56, that I'm in touch with the suffering of 56 people. I can have a mind of abiding and being... in touch with my own suffering and the suffering of 56 people for example but in order to be in touch with the suffering of all beings and also to be in touch with the enlightenment of all beings I need this mind of no abode and when I am in touch with the enlightenment and suffering of all beings that is the mind of no abode and that's the mind which liberates all beings But again, if I find that my mind, that my consciousness is abiding, that can be practiced with. Namely, we practice being compassionate to the anxiety and compassionate to the abiding.

[36:47]

Compassion to the abiding can lead to moments of non-abiding, compassionate. And I practiced this for the last approximately 24 hours. I had been practicing compassion towards anxiety in myself about not being in touch with the suffering of all beings. I feel anxious at the thought of not being in touch with your suffering when I abide in it but if I have the thought that I'm not in touch with your suffering and I don't abide in it I care for that thought and I care for any abiding and if I care for the abiding in the thought that I'm not in touch with your suffering I stop abiding in the thought that I'm not in touch with your

[37:58]

suffering, and I stop abiding in the anxiety I feel when I don't feel in touch with you. And I see some furrowed brows. Maybe that went by too fast. I'm sorry if it did, but at the same time, I don't know if I should say it again. So the path... to the bodhisattva mind of no abiding in anything is the path of noticing anxiety, realizing where the sticking point is, that's at the base of the anxiety, being kind to the anxiety, being kind to the thought that the anxiety is coming from, being kind to the thought that we're abiding in, Be kind to the anxiety that arises from abiding and be kind to the abiding. Follow that? Thought, abiding, anxiety.

[39:04]

Compassionate to the anxiety, compassionate to the abiding, compassionate to the thought. Like you can even have a thought like, I'm the greatest person around. Thoughts like that do occur in some people's minds, not yours, of course. Nobody here thinks that about themselves, do they? But if that terrible, if that dangerous thought, I'm the best person in the room, arose, and I abide in it, then I will suffer. But even if that terrible thought's there, I can be kind to the... terrible thought, the dangerous thought, I'm the best person in the room, I can be kind to the abiding, and I can be kind to the suffering. The suffering is the easiest thing to find. The suffering and the thought. So the stress takes you to find the abiding, the sticking point, bring compassion to the sticking point, the sticking point melts away, you still have the idea, I'm the best person in the room, but no abiding.

[40:18]

no stress. And now you're ready for, I'm the worst person in the room, or she's the worst person in the room, or she's the best person in the room, or I'm not good enough, and so on. Whatever the bodhisattva vows to meet all those thoughts, all those people, all those opinions with the mind of no abode. I had a hard last 23 hours with anxiety, about my relationship with the Sangha. Various thoughts were arising. And I was watching. Actually, I was struggling to be joyful about meditating on this anxiety. But I was. I was meditating on the anxiety. And I was finding... not finding exactly, but I was becoming closer and more intimate with the abiding.

[41:18]

And the more I did that, the less abiding there was, and I became free of the fear that came with abiding in my ideas of my relationship with this great community. Like right now I have some ideas about my relationship with this great community. And my ideas are kind of... Here's the idea. The idea is I don't even know what my relationship with you is. But again, I have talked to people who have that idea and they abide in it and they're anxious. Because they think... Because they're abiding. Right now, I don't know who you are, or who I am, or what our relationship is, and I'm not abiding in that.

[42:31]

And you can come up and tell me, you don't know, but I'll tell you. And I will try to welcome your knowledge of our relationship, because maybe you know. But even though you know, you might not be abiding in it. So you'll be free to tell me, And if I don't abide in my not knowing about our relationship, I'll be ready to hear what you have to offer to me. So I'm actually telling you that I had a hard time. I addressed it with compassion. I didn't beat myself up. The only thing I did to cause trouble to me, and I'm sorry indirectly to you, was to abide in my thoughts for the last few hours. But again, I hear a teaching, I've heard a teaching, which is take care of that abiding, take care of that anxiety, and I did, and I'm glad I did, and I'm glad to share it with you, and I intend to continue, and I hope you do too.

[43:45]

I don't know if you want to take all beings to nirvana, but if by any chance you do, I propose this is the way to take all beings to nirvana. Be compassionate to your own suffering. Notice where it's coming from. Be kind to where it's coming from. Be kind to the anxiety and the cause of the anxiety. be generous and warm and welcoming of the cause of your suffering, and the suffering itself, and you will come to the place of not abiding in the cause, which is, you will come to the place of not abiding. And this is perfect wisdom, and this is done over and over. That's the sense in which we celebrate perfect wisdom, is we do it repeatedly, we frequent

[44:49]

the mind of perfect wisdom we refresh it we renew it we recreate it we revisit it moment after moment we don't just get there and it's all over we have to do it with the next consciousness with the next opportunity for abiding over and over there's no end to this until everybody I guess is not abiding and then we could take a break I have this idea, which I'm not abiding in, that perhaps today I wasn't overly celebratory. But I'm not abiding in that. I just have that thought. And I don't have the thought, I mean I'm telling you the thought, but I'm not abiding in the thought that I've been under-celebrating zazen either.

[45:53]

And somebody might think, you didn't celebrate zazen enough today. And my thought of that possibility, I'm not abiding in that either. So I'm feeling quite well. Because I'm not really dwelling in what's going on in my consciousness right now. And during the last 23 hours or so, when I was having... kind of a hard time I thought I was actually thinking that I was supposed to give a talk today and I I thought it was kind of I felt challenged by that idea and again I tried not to abide in the idea of the responsibility of sitting on the seat and talking to you today I didn't know if I should you know come here and tell you about all my anxiety about

[47:02]

relationship with you maybe that would be unhelpful and I thought yeah I thought I'm feeling I'm feeling so challenged I don't even know if I would if it would be appropriate to sing a song because maybe singing a song is not duly respectful of all the suffering And one of the songs I thought of singing, which I didn't think I should sing, was a song that has a certain part in it that I always had trouble saying in a way that doesn't irritate certain people. But one of those people who always winces when I get to that part left early. So I don't have to worry about irritating her.

[48:04]

So, I don't know if I should sing this song or not. I guess it's okay if I don't, huh? Did you say no? Ah, she said no. So, maybe I should sing this song just to show that people who are suffering or people who are not suffering or people who are abiding, or people who are not abiding can sing. And I'll tell you the part, I'll raise my hand at the part that I have a hard time with. And you can feel why I have a hard time with it. There may be trouble ahead, so while there's music and moonlight, And love and respect. No, love and romance.

[49:06]

Respect's okay too. Let's face the music and dance. Before the fiddlers have fled. Before they ask us to pay the bill. And while there's still a chance... Let's face the music and dance. Didn't do too bad that time. Soon we'll be without the moon humming a different tune and then there may be teardrops to shed. So while there's music and moonlight and love and romance. Let's face the music and dance.

[50:11]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[50:44]

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