This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So the teacher that I was shoe-sew with, or a head student, Ed Sadezan, I was speaking to him, and I said I was nervous, and he said, well, you... just take your time and bow, do your bows, follow the forms, take your seat, and then look around the room. And I said, that's the last thing I would do. Like, oh my God, that was just like terrifying. And I'd seen teachers do that, you know, sit down and really take their time and look around the room. And so I tried it. And I just like looked at everyone, looked around the room and recognized some faces and others not.

[01:10]

And what happened was I just felt like, oh, I'm just here sharing the Dharma with this beloved community. And... that's happened, I've spoken at other smaller groups, and it's kind of the same feeling. It's just this feeling of coming together in beloved community. And that's a term, actually, that I hadn't heard before last weekend. Last weekend, Kazu Haga and Tova Green gave the Dharma Talk here at City Center. If you weren't here, I would recommend you can go to the website, to the live stream, it's archived there, and you can hear the Dharma talk there. The talk was on Kingian, as in Dr. Martin Luther King, non-violent conflict resolution.

[02:15]

And Kazu was talking about the six principles that make up that the Kingian approach to nonviolence. And he spoke of the beloved community as being a foundational piece in that nonviolent approach. And he said that the beloved community is defined as the framework for the future, that this nonviolent concept is an overall effort to achieve a reconciled world by raising the level of relationships among people to a height where justice prevails and each person is supported to attain their full human potential. A reconciled world where full human potential for each being is possible.

[03:20]

So what struck me about this idea of beloved community as a framework is how it supports each human to achieve their full potential. And it brought to mind for me in our community and in the teachings of Suzuki Roshi the importance of Sangha and of our Dharma friendships and of those who are on this shared path with us. Turning the same questions and looking at how we achieve our full human potential, how we acknowledge our Buddhahood or our true nature. and that we don't do this work alone.

[04:23]

Recently, namely since the election, we as a community have been called forward. I would say probably each one of us in some way has felt as though we've been called forward to define who we are and what we stand for. And there's a real challenge in that to do it in a way that feels inclusive, to stand strongly in who you are and what you believe in, and yet to create an openness so that everyone is included in that conversation, in that community. Our Abacial leaders put out a statement, and in the statement, part of it was, May this election and all that it might bring be an opportunity for each one of us to rediscover our all-inclusive vow of practice that isn't swayed by the winds of change.

[05:36]

And our leaders reconfirmed our vow to awaken with all beings. May all beings be free from suffering and realize the liberation of of awakening. So, like many of us, I've been thinking about freedom and liberty and liberation and inclusivity. I think especially in the wake of the election, so many of us were just kind of shocked, you know, like, what have we been missing? Where's the conversation that we've been having within our own bubble? And what is it to truly hear another? You know, how do I articulate who I am without cutting you off? And what are the things that I'm not seeing in myself because they actually don't fit so comfortably within the definition of my small definition?

[06:50]

definition of who I am in this life, in this world. So this coming Friday, day after tomorrow, my 17-year-old daughter Olivia and I are going to fly to Washington, D.C. And I've never been to Washington, D.C., so it'll be my first time there and her first time. Our next-door neighbor, invited us. And she's in her mid-60s and she's never been to a protest before. So I haven't been to DC, but I've been to many protests. And right after the election, I texted her and I said, I just received word from Olivia that there's been a walkout at the school and she's left school and she's headed downtown. And she was really moved by that.

[07:51]

And then I sent her the communication from the school that the school sent out. And again, it moved something in her. And in the communication, the school affirmed that they couldn't support, what was it? That they couldn't support the students walking out. Wait, let's see, I have it here because I know I was going to forget. they said. They said, I told the students before they left the school that the school does not authorize student protests or walkouts, but it was their right to do so. I told them that safety was our biggest concern and to get in touch with you. We will be continuing classes with the students who have chosen to stay here. And then she said, this is the head of the school, we continue to hold our students in this diverse, inclusive, and committed community.

[08:55]

We will continue to cultivate their growth as independent thinkers and to encourage them to stand up to injustice when they see it and to support their engagement in the world. So this is the beloved community that I get to raise my daughter in. And... they too support or aspire to support the unfolding of each student's full human potential. It's a Waldorf school, and it's based on the teachings of Rudolf Steiner. And Steiner talks about a healthy community, a healthy social life. He says, a healthy social life is found only When in the mirror of each soul, the whole community finds its reflection. And when in the whole community, the virtue of each one is living.

[10:00]

So in that I hear kind of a constant, kind of a challenge, you know, as we Zen Center have been challenged to look at ourselves, you know, to look at the community and... you know, who isn't represented, who isn't included, and what is being missed or what is being left out. I would, I'd like to say something about that, about inclusivity and in our practice and the feeling of that we cultivate in our practice on a daily basis, day in and day out, our commitment to ourself to return to the meditation cushion day in and day out, whether that's here in the temple or you practice as I do at home, to get up and

[11:13]

and get on the cushion and return to that vow of including whatever it is, however I've woken up in the morning, whatever it is I'm starting to already carry into my day. And throughout the day, breath to breath, coming back to our breath, and that constant opening to a flexible mind, our commitment to our calm mind, our big mind. And I would say that the structure of that beloved community is what is built through that commitment. In her book, Tara Brock, in her book called Radical Acceptance, Tara Brock speaks about the cultivation of a caring presence.

[12:18]

She says, when we feel held by a caring presence, by something larger than our small frightened self, we begin to find room in our own heart for the fragments of our life and for the lives of others. The suffering that might have seemed too much can awaken us to the sweetness of compassion. So returning to the breath, slowing down, seeing the story that we're telling ourselves, perhaps questioning the story, or having a Dharma friend ask you, is that really true? bowing to and away from our cushion, taking our seat again and again, and having the courage to listen to your teacher, to look around the room and see what's there, to step into the void.

[13:23]

Each time we're brave enough to look and to really step, that is the building of the structure, that is the building of the beloved community. Oftentimes, I know I need to rely on the community to reflect back to me what I absolutely would not see on my own. And this is how we build the House of Buddha. In a question and answer out at Green Gulch, after a Dharma talk, Norman, it was Norman Fisher gave the Dharma talk and someone I don't remember what they were describing to him, but they were going through a really difficult time. It was a very kind of personal exchange with this person. And they, you know, they really, they were very sad. They didn't know how to work with this mind state that they were in. And Norman just very gently said, well, that's when you invite them into the house of Buddha.

[14:33]

And it just seemed like such a beautiful invitation. And in order to invite someone into the house of Buddha, I think that takes some work. I think it takes some work to remember that that is available to us. Suzuki Roshi said that it was important to create this warm feeling of practice. I was remembering that when we moved from Green Gulch after living there for a long time, my daughter Olivia was five and she was in kindergarten. And it was, you know, it was that age, I think I was having probably a harder time than she was, but I would bring her to school in the morning and, you know, she would just cry and she wouldn't want me to leave. And, you know, we tried me kind of like staying there for a while, but that kind of made it worse. And her kindergarten teacher was an older woman, and she was just this very special being.

[15:38]

And she had taught kindergarten for many years. I don't know if you know people like this, but they're very special people, those kindergarten teachers who've been doing it for 30 and 40 years. And her name's Deborah Polanski. And she said, well, why don't you just... you know, I'll just take Olivia from you in the morning. So, you know, Olivia would be crying, and I would just, like, pass her to Deborah, who also was just, you know, she was very kind of, like, round and soft. And so I would just, like, pass Olivia into Deborah's warm bosom. And then I would leave, and I would be a little rattled, like, did she stop crying? Is she okay? And one day Olivia said to me, I don't know, out of the blue, we were like chopping vegetables or something, I don't know. And she said, you know, Mama, Deborah gives really good hugs. And I just, it was for me as a mother, just having that, being able to pass Olivia into this Bodhisattva being of wisdom and compassion for me, for Olivia, was, it was really important.

[16:58]

in Not Always So, Suzuki Roshi talks about the feeling of practice in the chapter that's called Be Kind With Yourself. And he says, a mother will take care of her child even though she may have no idea how to make her baby happy. Similarly, when you take care of your posture, and you're breathing, there is a warm feeling in it. When you have a warm feeling in your practice, that is a good example of the great mercy of Buddha. Whether you are a priest or lay person, this practice will extend to your everyday life. When you take the utmost care of what you do, then you feel good. So when we cultivate this warm feeling of practice, such as the devotion of a mother to a child, even though we don't really quite know what is being called for, how to make the child happy, but the looking and the tending and the commitment to keep returning is what I feel when he talks about this feeling in practice.

[18:25]

even though a mother isn't quite able to tolerate her teenage daughter, is there a little space to see what's under that or what feels like it's not able to be included, what's wanting to be included. So breakfast, lunch, dinner, sitting, service, soji, day after day. When you cultivate this warm feeling of practice, it's easier to see things as they are. Breath after breath and returning to our commitment. We create more space, less identification. It becomes easier to include the difficult mind states. Inclusivity is everywhere, really, in our teachings.

[19:31]

There's nothing that's separate from this very mind, we are told. And yet, we have to work hard to see what it is that we aren't allowing to be included. This very mind is the mind of Buddha. And yet, a hair's breadth deviation and we are lost in diluted mind states. When we read the transcripts from Suzuki Roshi's lectures, or if you listen to them, it's kind of amazing that they're available to us on the web. There's actually like a lot of laughter, and I hear in that telling us not to take ourselves too seriously and reassuring us that we already are Buddha and encouraging us to quietly explore the farthest reaches of the causes and conditions of our lives.

[20:49]

When I went into labor out at Green Gulch and then was on, leaving Green Gulch in the car on the way to the hospital, my best friend slipped me, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. So I was in the car, laboring, and I just, all I could do was look at Suzuki Roshi. And he wasn't daunted. He has this amazing, he has this amazing depth He's so alive in this photograph to me, I'm sure, to many people. And I think part of what's so powerful about the way Suzuki Roshi looks at us, I never met him in person, is... I guess I would call it, like, I would say it's full human potential.

[21:55]

You know, like, he's... he's really looked at his own suffering. And I see myself in that reflection. And I think that that's also something about the beloved community. Like Steiner said, do you see me reflected? I see you reflected. So part of of this, the warm, compassionate bosom of Buddha, I think really along with being, you know, courageous and supported and curious, there's something so important about slowing down. And I guess that's what, you know, I saw myself last night just like, I have to get back

[22:59]

you're writing my Dharma talk? And it's like, let's slow down for a moment. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just keep going. So, you know, there's such opportunity right there in feeling that pull that we develop in our physical practice. Our body is so ready to... to let us know what it is that we don't feel comfortable about including. And oftentimes it takes the support of our sangha, of our fellow practitioners to have the courage to see ourselves. Maybe it's just a little bit is enough. So the slowing down... A few months ago I started as the development director here at San Francisco Zen Center and I was having a very hard time with the workload and the number of meetings and emails and you come back from a meeting and then there's all these more emails

[24:29]

And I was really struggling with overwhelm. I found myself in overwhelm a lot. And I think I was able on my own to slow down enough to be curious about overwhelm. You know, what was I telling myself? So I started looking at when was it that I started tipping into that state of overwhelm? And I could kind of see it, but then I just was really seeing overwhelm. And I could see the story I was telling myself also, you know, just all the doubt that I had in myself. And, you know, there was the whole storyline that I had going there. And it wasn't until I sort of confessed to my friend, Emela, she's a teacher at Green Gulch.

[25:34]

And she said, you know, you really just need to slow down. And I said, that, you know, my first response was, you have no idea what you're talking about. Like, there's no way I can slow down. If I slow down, like, I actually have to get faster. And she said, no, you actually, you just really need to slow down. to slow down and to take care of each thing. And so I started looking at that, and I told the assistant development director, Jennifer, that that's what I was going to do, and I thought that made her a little bit nervous also. But when I did that, what I saw was that actually each thing came more into relationships. So I was relating to the person at the end of the email a little bit differently. And I'm not going to say, oh, and then I just got everything done, and that's all you have to do is slow down.

[26:47]

But prioritizing things got a little bit easier. So... when I was able to slow down, not only did it help my work, but it led me from seeing overwhelm and doubt, all the doubting that was happening, and then it kind of led me to a study of anger, which was really helpful, and anger led to patience, and it was just this whole unfolding when I was able to turn toward it, but the slowing down was the really scary part around that. And I wouldn't have been able to do that, really, without Imola and, you know, and technology. You know, she would text me, are you slowing down? So it's really important to have these Dharma friendships and this beloved community.

[27:52]

I think sometimes talking about community is tricky, and especially at Zen Center, there's residential community, there's the larger community. Am I a part of the community? Am I not a part of the community? And what I would say about this is that it's like the beloved community with a capital B and a capital C. It's the community of all beings. And, you know, when I walk down the street, I smile at people. You know, I make eye contact with people. My 17-year-old daughter tells me I'm cringey, but, you know, it's like, that's okay. It's okay to talk to strangers, you know. So, I guess, you know, going back to the time right after the election, when it was, it was like there was shock waves, you know. kind of in the city.

[28:54]

And everyone was a little bit, or at least I was, and I think a lot of people were very kind of thin-skinned. And it was just like the littlest kindness just went so deeply. So I was really grateful for that kind of time out of time, that very, that opening. to be able to feel things in such a different way. So I would say that that's the big beloved community that includes all beings. I wanted to end and I I don't have what I'm looking for.

[29:58]

It's not there. I had a poem for you. Or so I thought. A poem from Rumi, which we will save for the next time. And I think that David We should be wrapping up. Maybe there's time for one question. Okay, there's time for one question. Does anybody have a question? A couple questions. Brent. Thank you for being here. I'll look for you there. oh great Did she express that to you?

[31:49]

That she doesn't feel... I think that our response has been workshops and the half-day sitting the day of the inauguration. I think that's a beautiful offering. Do we ever feel like we're preaching to the choir and reaching out maybe to the other side or opposition? I mean, yeah, I think that the offering can... As with the abatial statement, you know, I think it was a lot of, there was actually a lot of comments on our webpage, on our blog post when that was posted, like you have to say something stronger.

[32:56]

But what I heard in that and is very similar to what I heard Norman Fisher say is kind of the bodhisattva is in it for the long haul and for the big picture. You know, when I hear, heard President Obama's farewell speech when he put everything in a larger political, historical context. I really appreciated that. So I think just the widest, most open offering that we can create is really all we can do. And I think also as community members to speak up when we're having a hard time with the way that leadership is speaking, you know, and to give direct feedback, you know, because we're all, because we're doing this together, you know. Yeah?

[34:00]

I'm sorry, I don't know your name. Mayjoy. Mayjoy. Come along. I mean, when, you know, like, when I see the photographs from the civil rights protests, you know, and when I see, you know, people of all backgrounds at those marches, I think it just makes it all the stronger. I'd say if you have the inclination to join, then great. And I just see how the youth especially, well, youth being raised in San Francisco, their definitions, everything feels like it's falling away very quickly.

[35:36]

And I'm not assuming, again, I know I live in a bubble, but that's the future. I mean, that's what I aspire to for... Personally, I think it's great, but I understand the dilution part. Shall we? Thank you, everyone, and thank you for coming out in the ring and for sharing the Dharma together. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[36:36]

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