This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Well, my birthday has been... Continuously celebrated all month. So I'm getting used to it. I think this is the last one, though. So today I want to talk a little bit about history. Start by talking about history and end up by talking about now. because it's all connected.

[01:02]

And a little bit about the development of Zen in America. So in the 50s, I don't know how many of you remember the 50s. Suzuki Roshi came in 1959 to America from Japan. And during the late 50s, D.T. Suzuki and Alan Watts were the popularizers of Zen in America, the main popularizers of Zen in America. D.T. Suzuki wrote the first, more or less, first books on Zen. And Alan Watts was a professor and English professor, and he was very much interested in Zen, intellectually, and I don't know if you know, everybody knows KPFA.

[02:12]

KPFA used to have his tapes, Alan Watts gave lots of talks on what is Zen. And it kind of monotone. And everybody that I knew listened to KPFA and Alan Watts. Every Sunday morning, I think it was, he gave a talk on Zen. And so Alan one time gave a talk on the three types of Zen. Beat Zen, Square Zen, and Zen. Beat Zen was Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg style. You know, this was the beat generation, the time of the beat generation, when all the creativity was really up.

[03:19]

And people, young people, rejecting society... as it stands, the materialism of the society and so forth. There was a lot of artistic expression, musical expression, and poetry expression. So, but in North Beach, North Beach was the happening place at the time. And a lot of creativity and a lot of dope and, you know, and so, There was a woman, an old Jewish woman, and her daughter was an artist, a painter. I can't remember her name. I wish I could remember her name, but she had a gallery. And this is just about the time that the term beat generation was beginning to be popular.

[04:25]

And she said, in Russia, we would call it the beatniks. We would name them beatniks. So we were all beatniks at that time. And so there was the idea of Zen, which was popularized by Alan Watts and D.T. Suzuki, but there was not a practice of Zen. So the beat then was do your thing, man. Do it, you know. It had the feeling of freedom of expression. So there was something, there was a germ there that was, you know, that had the vitality. The vitality was there. And the germ was there. But... practice wasn't. So Suzuki Roshi came in 1969, and people started sitting with him.

[05:33]

He didn't try to do anything. He came at the invitation of Sokoji Temple, 1881 Bush Street, which was an old synagogue, which the Japanese congregation, according to my understanding, there's various understandings of how the Japanese congregation got hold of Sokochi. But they bought, they pulled their money and bought Sokochi on Bush Street. And it became a Japanese temple. And they had a go room where the popular thing to do there was go. And Sunday they had Sunday school. Well, not Sunday school, but Sunday... sermons. But there was no Zen, even though it was a Zen temple. So Suzuki Roshi came to be their priest, head priest.

[06:37]

And the temple had a beg auditorium downstairs. And it had a nice... beautiful room upstairs. So Suzuki Roshi used to sit in the auditorium every day in the pews. And people would call him, and word of mouth, by word of mouth, people would call Suzuki Roshi and he would invite them. They'd say, what do you do? And he said, I sit zazen every morning at 5.45. And So gradually, a small sangha developed. And when the sangha got big enough, the Japanese congregation gave us the room upstairs, which was quite nice, a nice square room, which I like as a zendo.

[07:50]

it had windows that were half round from the floor. And there's something wonderful about standing above the windows. And then the light, wonderful light that came through those windows. I remember everybody had their silent Sazen dramas in that room for a long time. Before we... got this building, but I don't want to go there yet. So, Suzuki Roshi introduced Square Zen. Square Zen is like formal Zen. Like, what we do here is Square Zen. All the formality and the structure of practice. What the beats needed was the structure of practice. for their practice.

[08:51]

Their vitality was there, and their intentions were pure. But they didn't have any way of... They didn't have a structure that would... where they could actually be creative. And Suzuki Roshi used to say that In order to practice, you have to have some limitations. Freedom means freedom with limitations. But the beads felt that freedom meant no limitations. So that's why it didn't last, because there was no structure or limitation. If you have a limitation, then you know how to do something. You have the tools with which... within the limitation to find your freedom. And as we learned, zazen provides the structure and stricture of zazen provides the greatest freedom.

[10:00]

So this is what Suzuki Roshi taught us, that this narrow structure of zazen Zazen. Looks like we're all, you know, a statue, except that you have to find your total freedom within that structure of Zazen. It may take 50 years. But we keep working at it. We realize when we stop... fighting ourself, we find our freedom. So great freedom means not stopping yourself, not fighting yourself, but simply allowing yourself the great freedom of selflessness.

[11:07]

So what Suzuki Roshi taught us was square zen means selflessness. and that was his whole foundation, was let go of self... He used to call it selfishness. And I said, well, you mean self-blessedness, don't you? And he said, no, selfishness. So he would give us that kind of koan. People say, you know, they used to say that in Soto Zen, we don't study koans. Um... But in Rinzai Zen, they usually focus on koans in a systematic way. But actually, Soto Zen is one big koan. Everything in our life is our koan. Everything we face and turn to is our koan. So there's no escape from our koan.

[12:11]

So this is the square Zen that Tsavikiroshi... gave us. And I remember at Sokoji Temple, 1881 Bush Street, the people who were really interested in Zen, he loved the hippies. He really liked it. The beat generation turned into the hippie generation, which turned into the flower child generation, which turned into something else, I don't know. But those people would come little by little, dip their toe into the square zen, and here we are. So the vitality of beat zen and hippie zen blended with the structure of square zen

[13:17]

produced Zen. I always thought of, when I started, Suzuki Roshi and I started the Berkeley Zen Center, what I envisioned was a place where people could come and do zazen every day and go to work. And so to blend, or to go to school or whatever they were doing, to make daily life and structured practice one piece. That was my vision. And that was Suzuki Roshi's vision.

[14:19]

There are various stages of Zen center. One stage of Zen center was Sokoji, where there was no... No one lived there. No one lived at the temple, except Suzuki Roshi and his wife. And that was... That style... Some people remember that style as the best time of Zen Center, when things were just beginning. So it was all very fresh. And then Ananda and Silas went looking for a place for Zen Center to have our own place. And lo and behold, they found this building, amazingly. And so the Zen practice changed because it became a monastery where people live here and have their whole lives right here together.

[15:35]

So that really changed the face of Zen Center a lot. A residential... And so that kind of set, because Suzuki Roshi was dealing with lay people, mostly, and he didn't do so many ordinations. He did ordain a number of people, but he didn't give dharma transmission to anybody except one person. And he expected that one person to continue his line by transmitting dharma to to Suzuki Roshi's students. But anyway, so then in 1967, we got Tassajara. Richard Baker got Tassajara because people wanted a monastery.

[16:37]

So little by little, but we started growing. And I don't say little by little. Actually, pretty fast when you look back at it. So I developed, I started the Berkeley Zendo, found this big house, and then at the same time that we got Tassajara as a monastery, and it was very primitive. I don't know if you've been, I know a lot of you have been to Tassajara, but all these little cabins that were being chewed up by the carpenter bees. You'd be in your little wooden cabin, a very old cabin.

[17:38]

It was a resort before we got it. And you'd hear the carpenter bees chewing away on the foundation. Anyway... The way I envisioned the practice was that people could just come and go, just come and go, and absorb the practice through sitting zazen every day. And this is all lay people. going to work or doing whatever they were doing in the daytime to bring practice and work. So there's nothing outside of practice. You go to work and that's the work that you do. So I kind of modeled our Berkeley practice as a quasi-monastic on a quasi-monastic model with

[18:51]

for lay people. You know, when I had been in North Beach, I was a painter back in the 50s and early 60s. An artist. I also painted houses for a living. But... I could see people degenerating and that really had a need for something because speed generation felt, you know, they were looking for something. And so they abandoned the old paradigm. And we're looking for the new paradigm. And I thought, well, this is a great opportunity for people who are looking for the way to live their lives in a satisfactory way without succumbing to the culture to be able to practice.

[20:09]

And that was really a motivation for me because I'd seen so many people die of over... overloads, over... die and go crazy and really have, you know, looking for a way after having abandoned the culture to what is the culture. And also, we started Tassajara at the same time that there was this movement of communes. I don't know if you remember, back in the 50s and early 60s, people were, the alternative was to start a commune up north. So there were all these communes, people would find land with some houses and so forth, and they'd start growing their crops and their pot.

[21:18]

But they were based on love. Most of the communes were based on love. The problem is that love, in order to be effective, has to have some structure. Free love, right? Free love, free love. I mean, that's natural. It feels natural, but it Without the structure, it falls apart because love is like fire. Sex is like fire. And people are not distinguishing between sex, love, desire, companionship, and all these things that go with what we call love. Love is one of these terms that has a lot of meanings. I can give you a whole lecture on love but the communes most of them didn't last because although people wanted to be practical some of them did flourish but because there was no structure love can turn into

[22:47]

It's opposite. And stray off in various ways that are not productive. So at Tassajara, we started this monastery, and a lot of people came to the monastery. I mean, it was a draw for many people in that generation, young people. And it was very fresh. It was like... We were pioneers doing some really physical work all day long. We built the kitchen out of stones, which is an enormous job. And everybody was hauling stones all day long and creating this work ethic practice. Then when we invited Tatsugami Roshi from Heiji Monastery in Japan to come because Suzuki Roshi was not well.

[23:56]

And so he was there for various practice periods. And we asked him to start to create the practice of Tatsuhara, which would be like... Japanese model. And then a lot of people said, wait a minute, this is like little A. Heiji. And they were people who wanted to be in a commune. So the communalists left. And the people who were still there were the people who wanted to practice then. Squares then. So my Another thing that I envisioned in Berkeley was that to find a place, Suzuki Roshi asked me to find this place, and I did.

[24:58]

And he let me do what I wanted, basically. He wanted to see what we would do. Suzuki Roshi did not say, you should do this, you should do that. He left us, it's the students that created Zen Center. I didn't say Natsu Zikiroshi, but he didn't say, you should do this and you should do that. He responded to whatever we felt we wanted to do, and he just guided us. But he left it to us to do stuff. And it was a kind of experiment. So I was in Berkeley, Bill Kwong was in Sonoma, and Les K. was in Palo Alto-ish. And we... started these three practice places outside of Page Street. So I wanted to have a place where people could sit Zazen and I had a huge yard at that place.

[26:03]

And my ideal was to be a farmer. And I farmed the yard. And I actually grew crops that I offered to the grocery store, and they took them. So my day was concerned with saazen in the morning and the evening, and working in the garden all day, and getting the library, making a library. I used to go to Moe's in Berkeley, this bookstore, And people would give me all these books, and I'd take them to the books to Moe's, and they would give me credit for the books. Then I'd buy Buddhist books. And then I studied and educated myself by buying these books, by getting these books in trade, and created this great library.

[27:07]

So my feeling was grassroots... Zen was, I guess you'd call it, I really like that idea. And the students actually creating the place and making it what it is and sporting it. So putting those two things together beats in, the vitality beats in and putting it into a form so that it works like square Zen. And the combination of these two is Zen. And, you know, when you read the literature, Buddhist literature, Zen literature, it's all about these crazy guys, you know, who had their so-called freedom. And that's what people wanted.

[28:11]

They were inspired by that. But Jiki Suzuki didn't provide the square Zen side that we understood. So I had no idea that there was something called the Zen Center. Of course, it was just pretty new, but nevertheless, we didn't know that there was some kind of thing called the practice. So Suzuki Roshi provided for America, actually. I would think he was the first one. Yogen Senzaki and... Sokeyan, Sasaki, and various people came first, but they couldn't provide the structure. They were pioneers, but they didn't really provide a structure for young people. But Suzuki Roshi did. We were pioneers in our practice, and we're still...

[29:14]

to preserve the vitality of practice is really the important thing. Suzuki Roshi just had, you know, there was a lot of intuition. He didn't say much because his whole practice was based on intuition. And in Japan, they don't tell you what to do, actually. You observe the teacher. You're always observing the teacher. It's incumbent on the teacher to practice because what the students get is the way he practices. And that's the teaching. The teaching is you observe the teacher and the teachers and the atmosphere of what he exudes. And that's how you learn, and that's how you pick up the teaching.

[30:17]

So it's very intuitive. And it's hard for people who are not intuitive to validate that. Because people want certainty. How to keep the practice vital without it being... without it being stodgy or get lost in, well, this is the way we do things. Suzuki Roshi loved, he said, I really like people to be mischievous. I like the students who are mischievous because then I can see who they are. And, you know, trying to be good doesn't show how you really are, right? So he said, we should reveal ourselves as... who we really are, not hide ourselves in trying to be good or trying to be some special way.

[31:20]

So somebody once asked me, what kind of students do you like? Do you usually are drawn to? And I always say the most difficult ones. And I don't say that as something wonderful. It's just the way it is. I'm just drawn to people who have difficulty or who are mischievous or whatever, and work with them for a long, long time. It's like the teacher works. It's not even working with. It's just like, if we are practicing together, that's great. Everything that needs to happen will happen that way. Through just... practicing together. And students practicing together are like rough stones.

[32:24]

You put the rough stones into the cement mixer and let them mingle overnight. And then you open the mixer and there are all these gems. So how to allow The gem that is each one of us to be polished is our practice. And that's how we practice together. It's not like I know a lot or I know something. Although we study, we don't put a lot of emphasis on the study. Study is called the second principle. And practice is called the first principle. Study is great, but it's not the first principle. It can be. how we relate to each other and how we relate to the activity of daily practice is what we call practice. And over time, we just learn how to harmonize.

[33:29]

Learning how to harmonize. Because, you know, we can go so many different ways. So many different ways. So... We don't want to be the bully on the corner who intimidates everybody. Although sin practice is a little intimidating, but not because of the bully on the corner, because it's hard for us to let go of ourselves. Usually at this point, I ask for questions, but we don't have that kind of questioning here. But I'm going to break the rule. And if somebody has a question, yes? Yeah. Yes.

[34:32]

I just saw a video. Oh, yeah, video. Uh-huh. He was talking about sin. Yes. What is sin? Yes. And he responded, no one knows. Well, ultimately, ultimately, no one knows. Zen is your life. There's no such thing as zen. actually. So, because there's no such thing as Zen, there's Zen. You have to understand that everything has two sides. This is called duality. Everything has two sides. What is Zen? Oh, Zen is this. Well, no, Zen is not that. Zen is this. But nobody knows, and yet everybody knows.

[35:39]

Our understanding has to go to that place where yes is no, and no includes yes. Nobody knows, but yet everybody knows. The thing that everybody knows is the same as the thing that nobody knows. That's what we have to understand. That's Suzuki Roshi's understanding of non-duality. If you want to have enlightenment, you have to understand or be able to realize non-duality. That's enlightenment. Yes includes no. No includes yes. The oneness of two and the two-ness of one. I don't know.

[36:41]

I don't know. Nobody knows. Yes, that's true. Nobody knows. And yet, everybody knows. Zen is the closest thing that you'll ever experience. And we're all experiencing it right now. We just don't know it. Yes. Well, okay, that's a good question. How did the Japanese congregation accept the beatniks that came to see Suzuki Roshi and how did Suzuki Roshi receive them? These are the people he liked because they were concerned that they're not just following the societies materialistic understanding or way of life.

[37:45]

And so he liked that kind of rebellious spirit and looking for something deeper than that. That's what he liked about his students. He just welcomed them. Even though they came to Zazen, and the Japanese congregation, they had mixed feelings, but they let him do this. And one time he put up a mirror in the hallway so that people look at themselves. Is this what I look like? It's like holding up a mirror to people. And the hippies would come in with their rings and bells on their toes and unwashed. And he was very gentle with people. He didn't say you should do this or do that or put on a tie. He just said, well, it's a good idea to wash your feet before you come into the zindo.

[38:48]

And one time he said, you know, sometimes I put on a little powder so that I don't smell bad. He gave us hints. But he was slowly cooking the students, you know, putting them in. One time he said, you are like loaves of bread baking in the oven. At some point you will be done. So, yeah. And of course he said, I don't love anybody in particular. There's nobody I love. People come, people go. But he pretty much felt the same about everybody. Even though he realized everybody's individuality and he recognized that we're all the same.

[39:51]

Yes? You mentioned that with the living situation... Your head is behind somebody else's. You mentioned that with the living situation that it kind of created a monster... I can kind of see that when you're living with a lot of different people, a lot of anger can arise. You'll feel overwhelming. You can't concentrate. How would you give advice to that overwhelming feeling of anger that can arise with living with great characters and how do you... deal with it in a more productive sense. So are you talking about Zen Center? Just in general, you know? Because that's what I really latched onto with your lecture, was just different people living and I'm kind of associating my life.

[41:05]

I was wondering if you just have any advice with dealing with that kind of stuff. So the most important thing about our practice is to let go of ego. Anger is being attached to... Anger arises. All of our emotions arise unasked. But then we have the choice of what to do with that emotion when it arises. So we have... Anger is really... easy to be indulged in. So it's a great indulgence to be angry. I mean, it lets off a lot of steam, which boils over, you know. So you need to have an outlet for the steam that is created through strong emotions.

[42:09]

Strong emotions are like a fire. And we have to know how to adjust the flame so that it works for us rather than overwhelms us and burns up the house. So our practice is how to adjust the flame. This is called letting go of ego. How to make things work for us and everybody around us. Create a harmonious situation around us instead of standing out. You know, in Japan they say that the nail that stands up gets pounded down, right? And we say, oh God, that's terrible. That's because we're so egotistical. We value our ego. Sometimes... It's like we say, let go of ego.

[43:22]

Drop your ego. Smash your ego. Cut it out. That's impossible. We need ego. The reason we have ego is because we need it. You can't eliminate it. But when we say no ego, it doesn't mean no ego. It means balancing your individuality with your larger self. How to let your ego serve instead of being the servant of your ego. How to make it work for everybody instead of... covering everybody. How to allow our ego to, I don't want to say control exactly, that's a kind of funny word, but how to allow our ego to serve, to be the servant.

[44:31]

I always like to say, to offer your ego up on the altar of Buddha. Let Buddha take care of it. But we need to express our individuality, but to express our individuality without allowing our individuality to take control. It's easy to say, well, when you have anger at rising, you count to ten. That's what Suzuki Roshi used to say. Count to ten. When you're counting, you're no longer angry. But that has its limitations. You don't want to kill anything. When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill the Buddha.

[45:33]

That doesn't mean that you're going to kill somebody. It means... You be Buddha. You swallow Buddha. You swallow Buddha. And then let Buddha infest you. And express itself through you. Let Buddha express herself through you. So just swallow Buddha. Take a big bite. Go all at once. Then Buddha expresses through you. And you're Buddha's puppet. or you're one with Buddha. But the way to do that is to practice every day. And everyone you meet is Buddha, and every place you inhabit is your Buddha field. So I'll see you later. Let's see, I'll do this first.

[46:36]

For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[47:06]

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