This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, everyone, and welcome. I have passed out a copy of the Loving Kindness Meditation. And I invite those of you who don't have a copy of it or who don't know it by heart to take home the copies that you were offered when you came in. And I know that... I know that those of you who know me well and have heard me give Dharma talks before, You're a little tired of hearing about the loving-kindness meditation, but I have to say that this is... I'm not going to talk about it in detail tonight, but I want you to know that this has now become the center of my life and the center of my practice is to cultivate... Suzuki Roshi used to say, see everyone as Buddha.

[01:26]

See each being as Buddha. See yourself as Buddha. And if we're all Buddha, if we all are interconnected like that, or inter-are, as Thich Nhat Hanh would say, then an all-encompassing love has to be your experience. So for me, having that, I just don't know how to say how meaningful it is to me and how much I hope you will have this experience in your life of this warm-hearted connection with everyone, with all beings. We are interwoven with each other. I am in you and you are in me.

[02:31]

And to develop the, you know, to come into your own realization of this deep connection that you have with all beings is the greatest gift that you could get. And so it's an inspiration to me each time I chant it. And so I'd like to begin with that and then move on to talking about something that residents have heard me mention because every time we move chairs in the dining room to set it up for an event, I'm reminded of this talk which is in here, and I want to share the talk with you to see what he says about respecting things.

[03:32]

That, again, is very personal to me because, well, I'll mention it to you when I get to that point in the story, but I was there. I was one of the people moving chairs. I was one of the people who was making it sound like a bowling alley in the Zendo. thinking that I was being such a good girl and going to help put the chairs out, you know. I was thinking I was doing just great until... This is what Hiroshi gave this Dharma talk 15 minutes later by the time he got upstairs. So let's just chant the loving-kindness meditation. Loving-kindness meditation... This is what should be accomplished by the one who is wise, who seeks the good and has obtained peace.

[04:39]

Let one be strenuous, upright and sincere, without pride, easily contented and joyous. Let one not be submerged by the things of the world. Let one be upon oneself the burden of riches. Let one's senses be controlled. Let one be wise but not puffed up. Let one not desire great possessions even for one's family. Let one do nothing that's meaningful that could walk through. May all beings be happy, may they be joyous and in safety. All living beings, whether weak or strong, may high or big, low or ground, live existence, small or great, visible or invisible, near or far. Born or to be born, may all beings be happy.

[05:44]

Let no one deceive another, nor they smile with any meaning and say. Let none but anger or hatred which honor each other. Even as his mother breathed the race of her life, watch it over and protect her only triumphs. Slowly the boundless mind shall only cherish all living things. to fusing love over the entire world of love. and all around the darkness. So let's not compensate the same as they do it. So let's go to the floor of the pool. Let's take our walk. I can't sit on it now. You're gone once like the universe. Let alone practices away with privacy. I'm hoping to fix you. Now it's not a free process at times. One on your issues.

[06:45]

Thank you for chanting that with me. And please let it be in your heart. And it'll pop up and say hello sometime, from time to time. So now I want to... to read to you some of a talk by Suzuki Roshi, which also emphasizes this warm-hearted feeling. It's called, Be Kind With Yourself. I want you to have the actual feeling of true practice, because even though I practiced sazen when I was young,

[07:45]

I didn't know exactly what it was. Sometimes I was very impressed by our practice at Aheji and other monasteries. When I saw a great teacher or listened to their lectures, I was deeply moved. But it was difficult to understand those experiences. Our aim is to have complete experience or full feeling in each moment of practice. What we teach is that enlightenment and practice are one. But my practice was what we call stepladder zen. I understand this much now. And next year, I thought, I will understand a little bit more. Any of you feel like that? Is that an experience that any of you have had? I would never be satisfied.

[08:47]

It doesn't make much sense. I could never be satisfied. If you try stepladder practice, you may too realize that it is a mistake. If we do not have some warm, big satisfaction in our practice, then it's not true practice. Even though you sit trying to have the right posture and counting your breath, it may still be lifeless Sazen. because you're just following instructions. You're not kind enough with yourself. You think that if you follow the instructions given by some teacher, then you will have good practice. But the purpose of meditation is to encourage you to be kind with yourself. Do not count your breaths just to avoid your thinking, but to take the best care you can of your breathing.

[10:01]

If you're very kind with your breathing, one breath after another, you will have a refreshed, warm feeling in your zazen. When you have a warm feeling for your body and your breath, then you can take care of your practice and you will be fully satisfied. When you're very kind with yourself, naturally you will feel like this. So I want to bring that up because he's talking about taking good care of ourselves and being very kind with ourselves. And I don't know about you, But I find a lot of times in my practice that I'm not really being very kind to myself. I speak very harshly to myself in my head. I'm not doing something right or I'm not doing enough of it or I'm not... Anyhow. Being kind with yourself.

[11:02]

You know, I think about being kind with others and as I've said over and over again, the image from the loving-kindness meditation of suffusing love over the entire world, above, below, and all around without limit, so let one cultivate an infinite goodwill toward the whole world. I mean, this is such an inspiring aspiration that I really hope you will all get to that point sometime, but In the beginning, you have to be kind with yourself. It's very hard to be kinder to others than you are to yourself. So, take a good look and see if you're appreciating the Buddha in you.

[12:07]

If you're appreciating your connection with others. If you have some warm-hearted feeling for your life and your practice and your sangha and your family, what kinds of connections do you have with your friends? Is it warm or is it competitive or is it, I don't know, jealous or is it just warm and wide open? Can you be wide open in your relationships with your friends? Can you see that you are connected? And how's your next breath? Are you taking care of it? He talks a bit here about taking care of your breath like a mother takes care of her baby. How are you doing?

[13:16]

You taking good care of your breath? Taking good care of yourself as you're here? I had a quote from the Dalai Lama here that I wanted to share with you. Compassion is not religious business. It is human business. It's not luxury. It's essential for our own peace and mental stability. It is essential for human survival. So compassion is... I have now a practice of daily chatting what's called the enmejuku kanangyo, the ten-line verse of the bodhisattva of compassion, and chanting it for about 15 minutes every morning and dedicating it to the well-being of anyone I know of who is not well.

[14:41]

and needs particular care and attention. I was very happy to see that quote from the Dalai Lama because I certainly agree with that, that compassion is really the essential element in our life that makes a difference. makes a huge difference in how we experience our life. So this whole talk of Suzuki Roshi is about learning how to take care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, to see Buddha in yourself. Because it's very hard for us to see Buddha and everyone but me.

[15:45]

So, seeing that this entire love of the Buddha is available to us for all of our friends and associates, Sangha members, and seeing that sometimes that's very hard to maintain because we have some anger or some... You know, I... As I've mentioned many times also, there was a time when I was... My whole description to myself, of myself, was I'm someone who's fighting for peace. And at some point, I noticed that that was kind of an oxymoron. And... if I wanted to work for peace, I should try to find some peaceful way to do it.

[16:46]

And that's been sort of the story of my practice, because I think that's what practice for me is about, is finding a peaceful way, a way that has room for love and compassion for everyone, even those people who, for some reason, Well, for the reason that greed, hate, and delusion are the three poisons that we have to deal with and work with and try to see through and not buy into. These are the three poisons that the Buddha speaks of. And of course, greed, hate, and delusion does not produce compassion. So we have to see, so they are the causes of our suffering in this life.

[17:50]

And any little debt that we could make in our habitual greed, hate, and delusion, good for you. See what a difference it makes, and it will inspire you to keep working in that direction, to notice when anger comes up and isolates you because you're pushing everybody away. To see when greed overcomes all of your compassion and you just can't wait to get more of whatever. And notice that this is what causes your suffering. Not somebody else, but your own getting stuck in these three poisons. Suzuki Roshi says, you may think you're very warm-hearted, but when you try to understand how warm, you cannot actually measure.

[19:07]

Yet when you see yourself with a warm feeling in the mirror, or in the water, that is actually you. Well, he's talking about Tozan Ryokai, the founder of Soto-sen in China, who was walking across a bridge and saw his reflection in the creek down below and realized that it was actually that it was him. So, Tozan Ryokai attained enlightenment many times. Once, when he was crossing a river, he saw himself in the water and composed a verse.

[20:09]

Don't try to figure out who you are. If you try to figure out who you are, what you understand will be far away from you. You will have just an image of yourself. Actually, you are in the river. You may say that it's just a shadow or a reflection of yourself, but if you look carefully with warm-hearted feeling, that is you. You may think that you are very warm-hearted, but when you try to understand how warm, you cannot actually measure. Yet when you see yourself with a warm feeling in the mirror or the river, that is actually you, and whatever you do, you are there. When you do something with a warm-hearted feeling, Manjushri, the bodhisattva of wisdom, is there, and there is the true you. You don't have to wonder where Manjushri is or what he's doing.

[21:10]

When you do things with your warm heart and mind, that is actually practice. That is how to take care of things. That is how to communicate with people. So the next talk in the book... is respect for things. We're talking about having respect for yourself and having respect for people. The next talk is about respect for things. And it happened right here. This didn't used to be the Buddha Hall. This used to be the living room. And that's a fireplace behind the altar there. and all of the various living room furniture that's scattered around the dining room and the student, the residence lounge and the art lounge were little visiting places that the girls who were here in this residence hall could invite friends over.

[22:24]

Anyhow, this was a big living room. Those were bookshelves over there. And the dining room was just the dining room. And... So we had Dharma talks in the dining room because there's where we had all the chairs. Anyhow, you couldn't move couches and stuff around to have it here. So the lectures were in the dining room, and of course the sendo is underneath the dining room, and a number of people would come up just toward the end of the period before a lecture and set it up. as you may have been here sometime when we have an event where someone's speaking or something, where all the chairs are facing forward and it's set up to be a lecture hall. If you've ever moved a chair in the dining room...

[23:27]

You've heard me call, don't slide him across the floor like that. Don't slide him across the floor. Well, the reason I have such a strong connection with that don't slide him across the floor is this talk. Respect for things. In our Zazen practice, we stop our thinking and we are free from our emotional activity. We don't say there is no emotional activity, but we are free from it. We don't say that we have no thinking, but our life activity is not limited by our thinking mind. In short, we can say that we trust ourselves completely without thinking, without feeling, without discriminating between good and bad, right and wrong. Because we respect ourselves, because we put faith in our life, we sit. That is our practice. When our life is based on respect and complete trust, it will be completely peaceful.

[24:30]

Our relationship with nature should also be like this. We should respect everything and we can practice respecting things in the way that we relate with them. This morning when we were bowing in the Zendo, we heard a big noise overhead because upstairs in the dining room people were pushing chairs across the floor without picking them up. This is not the way to treat chairs, not only because it may disturb the people who are bowing in the zendo underneath, but also because fundamentally this is not a respectful way to treat things. To push the chairs across the floor is very convenient, but it will give us a lazy feeling. Of course, this kind of laziness is part of our zazen, a part of our culture, and eventually causes us to fight with each other.

[25:37]

Instead of respecting things, we want to have them for ourselves, and it is difficult to use them. And if it is difficult to use them, we want to conquer them. This kind of idea does not accord with the spirit of practice. In the same way, my teacher, Kishizawa Iyan, did not allow us to put away the amato more than one at a time. Do you know the amato? They are the wooden doors outside of shoji screens in Japanese houses that the... There's sliding glass doors, and then outside of that, when it's raining or the weather is harsh or something, you can close the glass doors with wooden doors.

[26:42]

And then he says they're all... One person could push six of them down to the box at the end that they go into, but his teacher wouldn't let them do that. He wanted them to move them one at a time so that they didn't just slam them down, you know, just didn't get lazy. He told us to move them one at a time so we would slide each door put it in the box one door at a time. When we pick up the chairs one by one, carefully, without making much noise, then we'll have the feeling of practice in the dining room. We will not make much noise, of course, but also the feeling is quite different.

[27:44]

When we practice this way, we ourselves are Buddha and we respect ourselves. To care for the chairs means that our practice goes beyond the zendo. If we think it is easy to practice because we have a beautiful building, that is a mistake. Actually, it may be quite difficult to practice with a strong spirit in this kind of setting where we have a handsome Buddha and offer beautiful flowers to decorate our Buddha hall. We Zen Buddhists have a saying that with a blade of grass, we create a golden Buddha which is 16 feet tall. That is our spirit, so we need to practice respect for things. I don't mean that we should accumulate many leaves or grasses to make a big statue, but until we can see a big Buddha in a small leaf, we need to make much more effort. How much effort, I don't know. Some people may find it quite easy, but for some people, like me, great effort is needed.

[28:52]

Although seeing a large golden Buddha and a large golden Buddha is easier, when you see a large golden Buddha and a blade of grass, your joy will be something special. So we need to practice respect with great effort. In this sendo, Everyone can come and practice our way, experienced students and also those who don't know anything about Zen. Both will have difficulties. New students will have difficulty, which they never could have imagined. Old students have a double duty to do their own practice and to encourage those who have just come. Without yelling at them, without... telling them, you should do this or you should do that. The old students should lead new students so that they can practice our way more easily. Even though newer students don't know what Buddhism is, they will naturally have a good feeling when they come to a beautiful Buddha hall.

[29:57]

That is the ornament of a Buddha land. But for Zen Buddhists especially, the true ornament of the Buddha hall is the people who are practicing there. Each one of us should be a beautiful flower, and each one of us should be Buddha, leading people in our practice. Whatever we do, we are considering how to do this. Since there are no special rules for how to treat things, how to be friendly with others, we keep studying what will help people practice together. If you don't forget this point, you will find out how to treat people. how to treat things and how to treat yourself. This is what we call the Bodhisattva way. Our practice is to help people and to help people we find out how to practice our way on each moment to stop our thinking and to be free from emotional activity when we sit

[31:06]

is not just a matter of concentration. This is to be completely... This is to rely completely on ourselves to find absolute refuge in our practice. We are just like a baby who is in the lap of his mother. I think we have a very good spirit here in the Sendho. I am rather amazed at the spirit, but the next question is... how to extend this spirit to your everyday life, you do it by respecting things and respecting each other because when we respect things, we will find their true life. When we respect plants, we will find their real life, the power and the beauty of flowers. Though love is important, if it is separated from respect, and sincerity, it will not work.

[32:07]

With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect, love can really be love. So let's try hard and find out how to make a blade of grass into a big Buddha. So here we are. What... maybe 40 Buddhas in the room? I don't know how many people are here. But all of us, all of us need to begin by respecting ourselves and see how we can spread that respect around to include everyone we encounter, everyone we practice with, everyone we see on the street, to understand their suffering when they're suffering, knowing that they have feelings just as we do, to be kind to them and to be kind to ourselves, to take care of their suffering as we take care of our own suffering.

[33:30]

To see how intimately we are woven together with each being. And to embrace ourselves as we are. And to embrace everyone as they are. And if they need some improvement, work with them. I could use a little improvement. Help me. If you could use a little improvement, ask for help. To recognize that Buddha is inherent in each one of us. The awakened mind of Buddha is available to each one of us. But we have to take down the walls. We have to clear out the

[34:33]

any ill will that we can notice. We have to find out what's feeding it and how we can... how we can... disconnected from our lives and put it down to see what's separating us from all those around us. To recognize greed, anger, and delusion when they first, when they first, you know, when you first see a tiny, tiny bit growing out of the ground to say, oh, That's one that I think I need to take care of.

[35:37]

I don't have such a warm-hearted feeling there. If you can develop a warm-hearted feeling for taking care of yourself, that's not selfish. Because then you will be able to Expand that warm-hearted feeling to those around you and continue expanding it to more and more people. If we don't, as the Dalai Lama says, it's necessary for human survival that we cultivate this. compassion and I think we see in the whole climate change problem I think we see literally we're talking about it's necessary for survival and when I can have that warm hearted feeling

[37:00]

It's a lot more fun, you know. It's a lot more fun and it's a lot easier to share it with others. So find it in yourself, cultivate it in yourself, and offer it to the world. That's what the bodhisattva vow is about. You vow to benefit all beings. This is our intention, our effort. our focus. How can we benefit others? Please. I think I'm running out of time. Please work on that. Please help me work on it. Please help each other to work on it. Are there any questions that you want to bring up?

[38:14]

What's the timeline? Is it 8.30? Well, so it is. All right. Well, let's go to bed then. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[38:55]

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