and seek to penetrate the human being, and the virgin, and the human being, [...] I don't know. I don't know. good morning when i came down the stairs i thought oh some part of myself hopes that i get used to this it's not it's not the way but i'm very happy to see you all

[01:52]

And I'm very happy to sit Sashin with you. I also thought when I was in my room right before this talk, we should actually kind of dance before each spirit of Zazen, at least a little bit, to celebrate that we are able to sit here together. It's such a rare and auspicious opportunity. If you think about it, this universe as we think it is, over four or five billions of years, and then this earth, like this little piece of dust somewhere in there with air and water, and now we're here in a human form and even met the Buddha, Dharma and teachers, and also sit together. It's unbelievable. So internally I will do a little dance before each period of Zazen and I'm happy if you join me.

[03:04]

So Rohatsu session is most of you know is also an opportunity to celebrate our first teacher Shakyamuni Buddha who sat under the Bodhi tree 2500 years ago and even though I know many of you heard this story many times in different versions I'd like to tell it at least short so Gautama Siddhartha was a son of a king, the king of the Shakya clan in northeastern India at that time. Today I think it's mostly Nepal, but I'm not so sure. And he was the only son of that king, and his mother died when he was born.

[04:18]

So he was raised by Mahapachapati and his father was concerned from his first days that he actually might become an ascetic yogi spiritual teacher and to prevent that he kept him overprotected in his palace for many years. That's how the story goes. And at the age of 28 or 29 he went out on a visit to the next town and he saw an old, weak and old person very sick and in pain person and a dead body who was in a procession for a funeral and he also saw a hermit in yellow robes who seemingly was quite at ease and relaxed and then he asked so all those sickness, old age and death does this apply to me and my family also and of course the answer was yes and he was so overwhelmed by this

[05:53]

fact that we are all we were all going to suffer these things that he decided to leave the palace to leave his very fortunate and luxurious life and to find a solution to find an escape from that suffering so one night and the stories are different in that but one story goes when his son was born, that night he left his wife and the son and became the ascetic Gautama. And he did many things to find the path, to find the way. He went to the most renowned meditation teachers at his time. I wrote down the names, but up to now I didn't know those names, so I'll share them with you.

[07:01]

One is Alara Kalama, and the other one was Madhaka Ramaputta. They were very renowned for their meditation techniques and their concentration techniques. And he mastered them pretty fast, within a week, so within a week, a couple of weeks of the story, he could do the jhanas, like up and down, like he wanted to. And they, of course, were very impressed, and they asked him to stay and continue their teaching. But he wasn't satisfied. He wasn't satisfied with this technique. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. So he went off and tried different other things and for the longest time with five companies, five ascetic companies, companions, sorry, he actually walked on the land.

[08:07]

There were sadhanas and sadhana means they just walked and they wouldn't beg for food, they wouldn't eat if you would not go and run after them and offer them food. They wouldn't eat. And they had a lot of very austere and self-mortifying practices. And so at that time that was the way, the thinking that by getting rid of the body, making that really weak, not eating and modifying it, you might find the solution. you might find you might be celibate from your suffering and at one point he was so weak and the story goes he was trying to cross a small river the river Naranjana maybe just ten feet and not very much water

[09:14]

and he was so weak in the middle he could just he couldn't go on he was standing there we don't know for how long and he realized well that's that might not work that's not my way neither all the luxury nor the self modification and ascetic practices brought me to some place where i feel liberated So he went to the next city which was called Urivala in the district of Magadha, that's what we chant in our chant, and sat down under the Bodhi tree. One story goes, he took a bath in the river before and he was offered a bowl of sweet rice by a young woman who came by and he ate it. And then he sat down and his resolve was pretty simple.

[10:19]

I'm not going to get up here until I found full, complete awakening. I didn't know that would touch me that much. So he sat there and didn't get up until he attained it, until he realized true nature and awakened. but also in that story and that's the second part of the teaching story to my mind Mara the demon of Mara occurred while he was sitting and he was testing him and sent his armies against him did certain things to make him very afraid and scare him but

[11:46]

Gautama would just sit there he wouldn't move he sent his in one story it goes his very beautiful daughter to seduce him but Gautama didn't move he just sat there and then he questioned him like basically the ultimate question who are you daring to sit here and claim that you know the truth, that you are Buddha. So the response was Buddha took his, or Gautama took his right hand, touched the earth and the earth witnessed him. It shook and there were Auspicious sounds and smells and everything was witnessing that he was Buddha.

[12:55]

So Mara vanished. He was just gone. There was too much for him. So, of course, this is a teaching story. I mean, some parts we know are historically quite accurate. Some parts we're not so sure about. But two points I want to stress. The first point is the resolve he made. And I would ask all of us just for a moment to reflect on that And reflect on what is the resolve you're making for this Sashin? What is your intention? What brought you here? What is the ultimate concern? You're sitting here.

[13:59]

After almost 30 years of this practice, I think for this body and mind, it's good to have the same resolve. Even though some part of me thinks, well, that's not gonna work. I'm not becoming a Buddha by sitting here. Even though there are doubts about this resolve, I think to my experience, it's very helpful to have that almost impossible intention and resolve. This time, sitting here, I wake up. And then, of course, Mara will come, right? Right? the forces of Mara will come to us also.

[15:48]

There will be many thoughts, many distractions, many things going on emotionally. So can we return to this resolve? Can we return to our intention? What do we need for this? As we all know, most of us know, it's so easy to get lost within three seconds, right? And then you're in your own story telling them to no one else as yourself. And 20 minutes later you wake up and think, okay, what happened here? And in this moment, when you come back, can you return to your resolve, to your intention? The word sashin can be translated as touching the heart, touching the heart-mind.

[17:18]

To me, this sounds very familiar to what Dogen expressed by saying, study the self. The same study, like very gentle touching, like that baby bird trying to figure out how to fly, watching their parents, and very attentive to to themselves and to what's going on around this way of touching and as we were studying the six parameters and the Genjo Koan you can speak process of Sashin, the process we are all going through in different ways but in the end we are all not that different.

[18:24]

You can describe in terms of the parameters, right? So you resolve your intention. Can you give yourself completely to that? Can you give yourself to Sashin? Can we give Sashin to ourselves? By that, observing the precepts, staying in a very ethical conduct by keeping stuff to ourself, not speaking to other people, maybe even not looking at them very much, trying not to distract others, not to disturb them. That's a way of morality, of ethical conduct, right? And then be patient. Be kind and patient with yourself and all others.

[19:30]

By those three, you will acquire energy. And then, so those first three parameters then lead to energy. And this energy you can use, if you wish, concentrate to sit upright and to be present this is what the energy is good for and then hopefully something will be realized some wisdom may be a And then the whole thing starts again. Let me shortly talk about some practical issues.

[20:39]

Because I know some of you are sitting the first Sashin and some things are just very simple. So there's this resolve, there's this ultimate concern we have. But we are humans, we have a body, so please take care of your body. Take good care of your body. And that means drink enough. Eat moderately. You will find out, but just now it's very important to take care of this body because without this body you can't sit. If you're not... taking good care of the body, it's very hard to sit. And there will be exercise time and it's important to move when you sit so many hours and stretch and keep this body flexible enough that you don't have too much pain while sitting.

[21:50]

There will be pain anyway. You know, there's no point of making it more by not taking care of yourself. And even when you feel very tired, very exhausted, there's an option to take a break. We are not kind of that very much so we say follow the schedule completely and this is important but you know if you're too tired leave a note to the Eno and lie down and be lying down Buddha it's not so much like leave

[22:54]

leave the practice you know it's not about okay I can't stand it anymore close my door that's it for now I'll come back an hour later this is not what I mean it's about taking good care of yourself your body and the practice one of the last scenes I said I had problems with my bowels I have a chronic bowel disease And in the afternoon, I couldn't just sit. My balls would just cramp and go in pain. So in the afternoon, I would take one period of Sazen and would lie down. And this was great. Kind of practicing lying down, but that was great. I thought, well, probably I go to sleep, but I didn't. It was a good good practice so these are just examples for ways you can take care of yourself of this body right because this body has to do the has to do the work and sitting upright straight for so many hours is hard work especially if you want to be

[24:22]

relaxed at the same time and not have much pain. So the other part of that teaching story about Buddha, I mean, Mara coming, of course, or to my mind, means, well, our mind, our thinking our self-centered ideas will come and they will get at us. Wendy yesterday spoke about the practice of the dharmas in the mindfulness, the fourth mindfulness practice. And one of the dharmas she mentioned were the five hindrances. And I will go over them briefly. You know, the five hindrances is a list of mental factors that hinder progress in meditation.

[25:32]

But when I say this, I already have to kind of call myself back. Because in this tradition, and especially with the teaching of Dogen Zenshi, we don't say that in that way so much. You know, the five hindrances is a concept about mental activities and basically we try to be that we try to be with that we don't fight them but it's maybe good to be aware of them and to know them so there's sensory desire like seeking for pleasure through the five sense sides sound, smell, taste physical feelings sensory pleasure. There's ill will, feelings of hostility, resentment, hatred, bitterness. That's the second one. The third one is sloth and torpor.

[26:34]

And I like this definition, half-hearted action with little or no effort for concentration. Restlessness and worry, the inability to calm the mind and focus one's energy. the fifth is doubt or I would say more specific skeptical doubt so you're you're not trusting yourself and I would say when they come up when they occur know them be gentle with them and with yourself and as good as you can return to your resolve return to this body and this breath and to your resolve there's a whole literature about them how to counteract them and so forth I won't go into that but there are little tricks you can do

[27:53]

When you're too tired, it might be helpful to open your eyes, to sit with open eyes for a while, and to straighten your body a little bit, open up the front, straighten your neck. Usually tiredness goes away pretty soon. When the mind is too active, you have many thoughts or many feelings, It's very good to return to your breath and your body. At least for a couple of breaths, you just come back home, so to speak, and feel centered again. And then try again. Open up. Just be. And this may happen a lot of times, right? Coming back. Coming back. when you're tired you can also try to change your breathing a little bit you have a little bit more force in your abdomen not really attention but a conscious attempt to bring energy to that space

[29:29]

that usually works also very good the doubt thing is a little tricky you know so many of us have a feeling that they are not sufficient they are not okay the way they are they have lots of we may have lots of thoughts which are directed against us which direct anger towards ourselves and I would say feel the pain there's a pain in there to direct anger towards yourself to be aggressive towards yourself to doubt yourself.

[30:32]

There's a pain there. So try to open up to that pain. And that's why I said it's tricky. Our ego structure doesn't want that. Our ego structure doesn't like that. So you might have to make an effort there. be even more careful with your attention towards your feelings and try to be soft and tender with what is behind that anger which you direct towards yourself behind that resentment with yourself what's the ultimate concern what's your intention and can you be joyous with it can you celebrate it a little bit

[32:07]

i would like to end with a quote by suzuki people say it's hard to practice then but there's some misunderstanding why it is not hard to sit in cross-legged posture or to attain enlightenment that's not hard it is hard to keep our mind and our practice pure to keep our beginner's mind is very difficult so to stay curious to stay open to whatever happens to Suzuki Roshi that was the key point there's our resolve our intention And then can we stay curious and open and soft and tender with everything which comes up?

[33:21]

Can you be kind to yourself and all around you? When I was at Tassahara, David Hay was also there. He's a friend in the Dharma. We sat Tangari together. And besides many other things, he liked to shoot photos. So he used to take photos of us before Sashin and afterwards. And for those of you who have never seen this before and after, it's really a thing it's really remarkable you know the whole phase is different it's much more relaxed much more present in a way much more simple so see you all in seven days with this fifth

[34:43]

May they, in my words, as shown to me, for they extend to my breathing and place, with the future, where I did it, though the hope of the love of this lady. Begings on the heart of this, I cannot wait to save them. Thank you very much. Thank you.

[35:43]

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