Good morning. Thank you all for coming today to the Green Gulch Dharma Talk at the online Zendo. If you know me, I'm Jiryu, the Head of Practice or Tanto here at Green Gulch. So today, instead of offering our usual live talk, I feel moved to make use of this Zoom platform to hold us in a circle of Sangha together to share in a Dharma talk that was offered earlier this month by Zenju Earthling Manuel. The talk is called Create a Mandala of Practice. And it was offered as part of a 90-day retreat called Commit to Sit, sponsored by the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Change. Many of you know Zenju and her work. She's a priest and Zen teacher in our lineage of Suzuki Roshi, ordained and with Dharma transmission from our late Avis Blanche Hartman.

[01:08]

She's the author of many books, including Tell Me Something About Buddhism, The Way of Tenderness, and Sanctuary. And you may have seen her work in Lion's Roar, Buddha Dharma, and elsewhere. So two years ago, Zen Jew was here at Green Gulch co-leading practice period and also continuing on as a teacher in residence and we remember her presence here with great warmth and appreciation and i'm grateful to have her permission to share her talk with you here today in this mandala of sangha as we practice together so please chant with me the opening verse Unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect dharma is rarely met with even in a hundred thousand million kalpas.

[02:15]

Having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. I want to thank you for taking the time this moment to honor life and this life. And I am looking forward to the possibilities of this circle this evening. So my throat is filled with a lot of tears. And of course, around senseless murders, especially the most recent George Floyd of that I know and many, many others.

[03:17]

And my tongue is weighed down with rage, but still I must practice. My belly is swollen, was holding, and still I breathe for those who cannot breathe. And my heart is overflowing. And so therefore, I am grateful for the continuous circle of practice, which Dovin called Gyoji Dokkan. Gyoji Dokkan. A continuous circle of practice that began with ancestors. Words in mind. Even the moon is an ancestor. was here before you. The earth, the planet itself was an ancestor. All of these things were here before any of us were born.

[04:20]

So we will walk with all that was here before us today, tonight, this evening. And I'm inviting you to walk with me. So we will begin with breathing, then listening, then breathing. So there'll be there is going to be like a mandala created. So rather than separating the breathing and then talk, we're going to integrate it, create this mandala with no gap, a continuous circle of practice. So we'll have small breathing, silent breathing and listening and silent breathing and listening. And so hopefully in the end, we will have created it. a beautiful mandala between us through our energy tonight and simultaneously expressing the truth in this practice and truth of our lives in this world.

[05:28]

So, you know, get comfortable. I hope you're comfortable where you are. And imagine we are all walking together in a circle around an altar. And so you're walking. And when you come, Thich Nhat Hanh always says, we bring our friends, our community, our families. We bring everybody with us because they're inside of us. Our ancestors, they are us. They're in us. So when we're in this circle, we're moving around the altar and moving with them. So even though we're sitting still, I want us to imagine we are moving our bodies so that our bodies, and not just our minds, are included in making this mandala this evening. And I'll just guide you through, and if you'll come along, and we'll definitely talk about how continuous practice is related to the times.

[06:35]

So again, I wonder what are the possibilities of this circle today. I wonder what are the possibilities. So I will ring three bells to start the breathing, but we're breathing and walking. So just imagine it. So, and keep your eyes closed or at a glance or whatever way brings you into your inner world. so that you can listen to the words and breathe at the same time. Okay. So here we go. Three bells to start breathing and walking. Just feel whatever you are feeling.

[08:05]

This is a time to be our human selves. We do one step at a time in the silence. So keep breathing.

[11:42]

Watching. In this circle. The mandalas. It's been created with that energy. Our time together. I will not ring an end bell now. We'll ring that at the end. We're going to do sa zin. throughout this mandala making a continuous pattern between our practice and each other. The Buddha said, when the morning star appeared, I attained the way simultaneously with all sentient beings and the great earth.

[12:50]

When the morning star appeared, I attained the way simultaneously with all sentient beings and the great earth. Now that one statement, that one teaching right there, is about continuous practice. It's about what is going on now. And I'll talk about that more a little later. But when the morning star appeared, he attained simultaneously the way with all sentient beings in the earth, some magical, some magic. There was no gap. And he had aspirations as any human being would. And his aspirations led him to awakening and beyond awakening. And he had to go around. He had to go in a circle.

[13:55]

He had to walk around. He had to go on a continuous life, everything happening at once. So everything was happening at once. The moment he sat down, then everything happened. The possibilities of awakening and beyond were as soon as he had an aspiration and he sat down to practice that aspiration. Simultaneously, everything came to view. So let's keep walking together and breathing. And notice your racing mind and... The stillness of your body or how still your body wants to be. It doesn't matter. Just notice. What is this continuous practice? And what does it mean?

[14:57]

Is it interrupted by the things that happen in the world? Or are the things in the world a continuous practice? We could ask Wei Ning. So Wei Ning, mentioned last week, is an ancestor of continuous practice. The sixth ancestor of the teachings. Well, this ancestor was mugged in the mountains. Yep, mugged. And because of envy, he was robbed of his bowls and his robe. buy another mug. They were jealous of him. And that mugger later became Wei Ning's disciple in cyclical time. In cyclical time. So at the moment Wei Ning was mugged, was it the moment the mugger awakened?

[16:03]

We don't know. Did George Floyd's murder awaken to Floyd's continuous life in the moment? Did he awaken simultaneously? We don't know. Did we awaken to continuous practice when we heard of the child's deed? or the murder of George Floyd. We don't know what is happening simultaneously. It was a horror. It was cruel, what we heard, what we saw. But simultaneously means at once, with no gap, things are occurring in our lives. We don't know what is coming alive in the sisters' murders and what is coming alive in a disease that is out of our control.

[17:18]

And what is coming alive in a leadership that is struggling with its own actions? What is coming awake in all living beings at the same time without a gap between our continuous lives? Individually and collectively. What is coming awake right now? Let's keep walking together here and breathing and noticing that the continuous practice is now or was there when you learned of the murder, when you heard of the protest. And perhaps you paid attention to it because continuous practice begins with aspiration. And so all of us have an aspiration for a better world, for a better life, maybe just for ourselves.

[18:28]

But it's still an aspiration. So I ask myself, what is an aspiration in such craziness as we are experiencing today? Is there a gap between what appears crazy and what is awakening in us? Is there a gap between what appears crazy and what is awakening in us? Maybe we only aspire to just breathe. And maybe when we are just breathing, we are simultaneously awakening to the nature of life. And we see things and hear things that hurt. That can cause suffering. Or confuses us. I'm confused.

[19:32]

I'm suffering. I'm hurt. And simultaneously, because of this continuous nature of life, I'm awakening to the nature of this life at the same time, at the same time of the pain. And I've reflected on this time quite a bit, and most times I'm speechless. It's very hard to... even write these words. But perhaps with all the torment of these times, we simply are coming back to the body over and over again. And this is why I wanted us to breathe and walk like a body of beings this evening in a circle.

[20:35]

Physically expressing continuous practice. And you must be in your body to walk, be in your body to breathe, you know, and so these feelings that are, these torments and suffering for me especially, bring me back to the body over and over again. It brings me back to what needs to be attended to. such as the many deep-rooted places of hatred, based on appearance, be that race, gender, sexuality, et cetera. So we're coming back to what needs to be attended to. And right now, it's our deep-rooted places of hatred. We talked about love, we want harmony, we want peace, and still, simultaneously, we must come awake to the hatred, based on appearances. But we're also coming back to the greater body of this earth and how we care for it or not.

[21:50]

But we're also coming back to the greater body of this earth and how we care for it or not. We're coming back to the Dharmakaya, which is the unconceivable wisdom, compassion, and patience that we all want. But it's inconceivable. I said unconceivable. Inconceivable wisdom, compassion, and patience. Coming back to that, which we can't even imagine. We want to imagine what's next. We want to imagine. But we're in that place that we cannot even ourselves, we don't even have, the capacity to say what is next, to say even what is now. Because in the Dharmakaya, the body of the Dharma, the body of continuous practice is inconceivable. We can talk about it.

[22:52]

We can try to do Dharma talks about it as I am doing that. But still, there's this place that cannot be touched by human beings. It only can be lived. This practice can only be lived and walked and experienced in this world. Not in our minds, but in our bodies. The question is, can we remain long enough in the dark unknown to discover what is being asked of us on our walk of continuous practice? So are we looking back and saying, oh, I know how to do that because I've been doing this for 30 years, 10 years, 7 years, 5 years? Or can we walk in the dark unknown at this time and not even know our practice to discover what it is and what is being asked of us about our practice? That this practice began long before we were born, any of us, unless there's someone in the audience that's 2,500 years old.

[23:54]

But no one, no one was here when this began. So we don't know. I'm inviting you to keep this door open at this time, to keep the possibilities this evening and the possibilities tomorrow and the possibilities on and on. Each moment of the commitment to sit, what are the possibilities? Simultaneously, in the midst of disease and hatred, We are aspiring, practicing, and being awakened. Simultaneously, in the midst of disease and hatred, we are aspiring, practicing, and being awakened and beyond.

[24:57]

Awaken to what? We want to know what we're being awake to. Well, I'm woke to that. I understand hatred. I'm woke to that. I understand racism. I'm woke to that. I can see what's happening with the police. Is that the awakening? Perhaps and perhaps not. I think we're in the middle of it all, so we don't quite know what we're awakening to. Right now, I can only speak of what... The teachings have presented. I can only listen to the silence in my sitting. That is not quiet at all. Not talking about that kind of silence before I keep the mouth closed silence. But the deeper silence that's mysterious that can only be reached over time. And when it is reached, it is the silence of the great earth and it's the silence of the body.

[26:04]

We are inherently still and silent. George Floyd is inherently still and silent. He was. Breonna Taylor, inherently still and silent and peaceful. These experiences are with us. and happening simultaneously. And for me, I've been able to reach those experiences through a continuous practice. There are other ways, I'm sure. This is not the only way, but that's the only way I can speak of tonight is that way. And a friend of mine says, yeah, and you work with the ancestors. And I do. We all work with the ancestor. We chant the ancestors in these innocent things. We talk about Buddha, the great, great one ancestor we love.

[27:09]

So this isn't ancestral practice. It's old, it's continuous. From time on, time on, time off. George Floyd said, I can't breathe. His life was coming to an end as he knew it on this earth. That moment for him was as uncontrollable as the virus called COVID-19. His last moments were cruel moments. Very cruel. And yet the way his life ended on this earth sounded as maybe the loudest ever wake-up bell on this planet.

[28:15]

The ending of his life on this earth was the loudest so far. Wake up bell on this planet. And it continues to awaken the world of cruelty and disregard so that we may change, so that we may take steps in this Mandalize. We are walking. Let's stop and take a breath here. As we are walking. What are you looking to? What did you see? I told you a lot to believe it.

[30:12]

Did George Floyd know he was a part of an awakening in his death, in his dying? Did George Floyd or the police know they were part of a great turning towards who we are as people? So we can't assume now what we are coming away to, because we don't know. And this is the time of a don't know. And continuous practice includes that, not knowing, not really understanding everything, but living and walking until something is revealed. What was simultaneously happening to you when you heard of the tragedies or watched the protests or whatever you were doing?

[32:07]

If you didn't do any of those things, what was simultaneously happening to you as the world was going by? You might assume some things are happening. You know there's some kind of awakening, but you're not quite sure what it is. And that's the way it's supposed to be. Someone may take your life and the chances are higher for those whose lives are not valued. And the virus, they'll take anyone's life, valued or not. When George Floyd was dying, what was simultaneously happening to your aspirations? Where were your aspirations? Did they dissolve? Fall away as if they never existed? Well, what about your practice? Did it disappear and you began to be clueless about what to do?

[33:11]

Do you trust your aspirations or your practices? Do you trust or do you trust or do you value? it's okay to feel, to take the time to feel, rather than jumping to the understanding. Rather than waiting for a teacher such as myself to tell you, this is what we should do. If you're in the emotion, be in the emotion. Dogen believed in the spiritual importance of emotion. You know, he was a poet, and that's why I loved him, so I really loved Dogen's teachings. Since he was a poet, he was a writer, and he struggled with being a writer and a monk. Same struggles I have.

[34:14]

You know, do they grow together? You know, you have to use your mind a lot. And one of his favorite forms of poetry was called waka style. There's many styles we always know. Our whole concept is probably waka style was one of his favorites. That's 31 syllables. And he wrote this about the importance of emotions. It's very simple. Sounds like not talking about anything. Crimson leaves whitened by the seasons burst snow. Is there anyone who would not be moved to celebrate this in song? crimson leaves whitened by the season's first snow. Is there anyone who would not be moved to celebrate this end song?

[35:24]

Talking about loss and grief. And that is part of that continuous practice. It's part of it. It's in there. So I'd like to invite the poet spirit of Ehe Dogen to this circle we are walking tonight, this evening. Let's walk with his continuous practice and that away name and that of the many, many Zen masters of every gender. There are many, many Buddhas of every gender. And we were walking with them this evening. And that's what I trust.

[36:24]

That's what I know and I feel and I understand it. I'm not confused when I'm there. That's not to say I don't get confused, because I'm not always there. And so I invite the poet spirit of you into this circle so that you can, with few words, the most fewest words, and maybe a lot. Sometimes I write very long things. to inquire about this life. Inquiry is very important to aspiration. We must continue through continuous practice to always ask, what is this life? You know that question. What are my aspirations? Do I trust my practice? What is going on in my life?

[37:26]

So I'm going to read this one poem that I wrote about reading. I had a chance to read it earlier today to another circle. I'd like to read it in this one. And then I'm going to open up for questions and answers. But do not put them in yet. Do not unmute. Sit and listen. May you come back to your breath. May you come to know your body as the earth itself. May you breathe yourself back home. May you once again be introduced to this great life. Where there is hatred, may the great light of this earth surround you. May you be released from past harm

[38:35]

and imposed hatred. May you come to recognize your existence and the true nature of life. May you come back to the breath, to the body, as a sacred place in which you remain awakened, through the fragrance and taste of freedom. When there is harm, may you remain visible on the path of spirits, or the inconceivable, the unsurpassable, and be seen and heard. Let the love you give be returned tenfold. May awakening be known in your body at this time.

[39:42]

And when you can't breathe, may you breathe in the next moment. May you say, I can breathe. So let's breathe for those right now who can't. I have one more thing I'd like to read to you. You may have read it in Lion's War, but tonight you're going to get your own personal reading from the author. By now we have lost the tiny sense of peace we created for ourselves. Our composure is is an idea long gone, reflected in the grinding of our teeth and locked jaws. If you are still holding up, trying to meditate, I invite you to fall down.

[40:57]

Fall down on the earth. Come down here and smell the sweat of terror on your skin, overpowering the scent of agar wood. Come down on all fours and greet the darkness that reeks of death, reaches out his desperate hand, and asks to be loved as much as as we love the light it gives. Come down here on this earth and breathe for those gasping for air. Hear each scream as a bell that never stops ringing. Bury your face in the mud of this intimate place in this shared disease and tragedy. If you have nothing to say, now is the time for the deeper silence, home that does not apologize or seek something kind to say.

[42:14]

And yet the deeper silence is not quiet. It whispers in the dark and wakes you from the nightmares. Come down here and be still on the earth. Let loose. Not get rid of, but let loose shame, rage, guilt, grief, pain, and make a river of it. Let's not forget it. Make a river of it. It's okay to have it and then make a river of it. Come down here, catch the love poems hidden in the shouting. Watch the unfolding of the seasons from the ground Look up at the sky. Watch the unfolding of the seasons from the ground. And look up at the sky.

[43:15]

And when it hurts from being down here so long, roll over and see what you couldn't see from the other side. Breathe out loud. No particular posture needed. Fall down onto the earth. Fall off your soft cushions. Come down here. Come down here where the only lullaby tonight will be the sound of your heart drumming the songs you were born with. Thank you. And I'm going to ring the bell to end this. Continuous practice this evening of meditation and words. Please chant the closing verse.

[44:23]

Intention equally extended to every being and place. With the true merit of God's way. Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. But as way is unsurpassable, I vow to become it. Thank you for coming today and joining Ms.

[45:34]

Mandala of practice. In the chat now, I'm posting the link to Zen Jiu's original talk at the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. It includes around minute 45, a question and answer period that followed the talk we just were present with. Thank you all very much.

[45:57]

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