Wow. I love this room. The first time I came to Zen Center, I came to this room for Zazen instruction. It's nice to be here. Maybe some of you don't know who I am. I'm the Abiding Abyss at Green Gulch Farm. I've been over there now for a couple of decades, so you're all welcome to come and visit Green Gulch anytime. from Zen mind, beginner's mind. These forms are not the means of obtaining the right state of mind.

[01:06]

To take this posture is itself to have the right state of mind. So the posture that Suzuki Roshi is talking about, the posture of a seated Buddha, is usually what we mean when we say practice. That's what comes to mind. but I think we also mean walking and talking, chanting, standing, stretching, lying down. In fact, whatever it is that we are doing throughout the day is called our practice. And yet, even though I say that, it's not really accurate. In fact, it's not even possible. Practice isn't done today. It wasn't done yesterday and it won't be done tomorrow. Practice is what we're doing right now. In this very moment.

[02:08]

And even that isn't very accurate. And yet that's what I'm going to talk about this morning. I'm going to talk about practicing in the present moment. So, it's not so easy, so please forgive me as I stray. Dogen says that practicing the Buddha way, meaning to practice an awakened life, is beyond beginning or ending, beyond ascending or descending, counting or not counting. All this, all this is nothing but the practice of an awakened life. Responding immediately, it benefits the self and it benefits others. So how is all this for you right now? Is it beyond beginning or ending?

[03:16]

Beyond counting or not counting? Ascending or descending? Is all this the immediate response that benefits the self and benefits others? So I thought I would just stop talking for a minute and give you a chance to consider that question. How is all this? How is all this, an awakened life, benefiting yourself, benefiting others? So I wonder what happened to all of you.

[04:34]

Did everything seem the same? Or did something change? Is it changing right now? It's very easy for me to think that things change. That they change all the time. But I don't see it. I don't see change. I don't see how the present moment begins or ends. So perhaps, as the Buddha said, that's because this I, me, doesn't seem to change. Doesn't appear to change. This one point of view, this physical presence of and as myself, seems permanent and stable. Well, kind of stable. not restricted by any particular time or place. Kind of like some unblinking gaze that goes with me wherever I go.

[05:39]

And yet I have been told that I was born out of a tiny egg inside my mother's body. And she from hers. I was told that. And I was told that this body is going to die. It's just very hard for me to believe it. The birth and death of myself is beyond the limits of my imagination. And yet, that's the very place where the Buddha's enlightenment began. It began beyond the limits of what he already imagined to be so. Again, from Dogen. When you sail out in a boat, in the midst of an ocean where no land is in sight, and view the four directions, the ocean looks circular and does not look any other way. So that's me out there in the boat.

[06:45]

But the ocean is neither round nor square. Its features are infinite in variety. It is like a palace. It is like a jewel. It only looks circular as far as eye can see at this time. And all things are like this. So hearing and engaging with this teaching, you know, that the present moment is more than what we see or feel or imagine is what Dogen calls body and mind study of the way. And what Suzuki Roshi called big mind, our big mind. So sitting here right now is an opportunity for all of us to explore ourselves in and as the present moment, beyond the limits of what we already imagine to be so. And to study how such a person expresses themselves from a fresh and ever-widening point of view, full of surprises, no doubt, like the Buddha ancestors who each found a way, their own way, of expressing an awakened view

[08:04]

of reality. So there are a couple of examples I want to share with you. Ditsang asked Fayan, where are you going? Fayan said, around on pilgrimage. Ditsang said, what is the purpose of pilgrimage? Fayan said, I don't know. Not knowing is nearest. Full of surprises. I think this just ended. Is this happening still? Yeah? Thumbs up? Thumb up? Thank you. Did you get that? Should I say it again? Where are you going? Around on pilgrimage. What's the purpose of pilgrimage? I don't know. Not knowing is nearest. And then there's the famous exchange between Emperor Wu and our first ancestor in China, Bodhidharma.

[09:11]

And the emperor asked Bodhidharma, what is the highest meaning of the holy truths? And Bodhidharma said, vast emptiness, nothing holy. Vast emptiness, nothing holy. Emperor said, who are you facing me? And Bodhidharma replied, don't know. So not knowing, followed by an intention for a lively inquiry, has been compelling our human ancestors for thousands and thousands of years. Compelling them to search and to wonder and eventually to ask questions like the ones I've been asking you this morning. Who are you? Where are we? And what are we supposed to do? Right here and right now. which is the one place that words alone can never fathom.

[10:12]

So not knowing is what compelled the young man we now call the Buddha away from his home and out into the forest. At first, the young prince asked for guidance from teachers who were renowned for their wisdom. And although they answered his questions with great sincerity and certainty, he said, I really don't know and so then he looked to himself to his own body and mind and after many many years of concentrated effort he arrived at the very wellspring of inquiry itself which had been there all along right there in the present moment and then he watched silently carefully carefully he clearly observed as questions and answers, upsides and downsides, insides and outsides, congealed and then melted away, like snowflakes falling on a hot iron skillet.

[11:26]

No longer attaching to words and phrases, the Buddha then tried to explain and to show us humans a way to freedom. The Buddha's words and the Buddha way, the Dharma, have been passed along through the ancestors right up into the present day. And so now it's our turn. We are the living layer of this tradition. So what can we say? What do we know about right now as we face the joys and sorrows of this human life and as we face one another? Perhaps we will discover, as one smart human did, Albert Einstein, who said, the universe doesn't really exist. It's just that it's very persistent. And within that persistence, there appears to be a pattern, a mind-made pattern of moments, like snowflakes falling from an empty sky.

[12:33]

The pattern itself is an illusion, And yet each of those moments, such as the one right now, creates another pattern, which creates the pattern to follow. So this endless chain of self-creation and world creation is called our karma. And each of our actions and the results of our actions pile one on top of the other, resulting in a little knot that I call myself. And although it's not really there, still it's very persistent, becoming over time a huge mountain of snow. Which reminded me of a dreadful little poem that my grandmother used to recite to me. I met a man upon the stair, a little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Oh, how I wish he'd go away.

[13:37]

There's an ancient verse from the Dhammapada in which the Buddha explains the workings of karma in this way. What we are today, right now, in the present moment, comes from our thoughts of yesterday. And our present thoughts, the ones we're having right now, will build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind. He beat me. She cheated me. They deceived me. He robbed me. Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate. He beat me. She cheated me. They robbed me. He deceived me. Those who think not such thoughts will be free from hate. Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by not hating. This is the eternal law. And those who know this do not fight against each other. So this piling up of our karma is the reason this exploration that we're doing as spiritual seekers is so terribly important.

[14:53]

If we can't learn how to melt the iron chain of ignorance and hatred right now, in this very moment and in every moment, then the suffering in this world cannot end. And yet we already know that it's not so easy to break the chain of thought. causes and results come up together very fast with very little wiggle room within the thinking process itself to contemplate our actions. The best way to respond. And therefore we need to take some breaks. And to take breaks from this compulsive behaviors that follow from the relentless chains of our thinking. So the possibility of taking breaks, what we call zazen, underlies the two most basic instructions for this practice of body and mind study of the way. For studying the body, the instruction is just don't move.

[16:00]

And for studying the mind, the instruction is think not thinking. So if you put those two together, you get something like just sitting, just standing, just walking, just thinking, just chewing your food, just this is it, with no further mental elaborations. And then perhaps for a moment, when the thinking mind has quieted, A spaciousness will appear within the light of our awareness. And a great contentment. And then study that too. Without any wish for something brighter or everlasting. And why not? Because Dogen tells us. All this is merely a moment or two of mind.

[17:06]

A moment or two of mind is a moment... of mountains and rivers and earth. Because mountains, rivers, earth and so forth neither exist nor do not exist, they are not large or small, not attainable or unattainable, not knowable or unknowable, not penetrable or impenetrable. They neither change with realization nor change without realization. Therefore, Just wholeheartedly accept and trust that to study the way with mind is this very mountains, rivers, earth, mind itself thoroughly engaging in studying the way. Just wholeheartedly accept and trust that to study the way with mind is this very mountains, rivers, earth, mind itself thoroughly engaging in studying the way. So you might think that this project of coming to know the mind as it truly is is beyond the scope of a period or two of seated meditation.

[18:21]

Or even of a lifetime. And some say that that's so. But others say that it's already here. That this is the mind as it truly is. The one you're having right now. And how much more beyond saying or thinking could this very moment possibly be? Don't know. And that's the truth. And in that truth, there's perfect freedom. So what I've been talking about just now is the kind of thing that monks like to talk about. while spending time in the monastery, sitting and studying and reading the scriptures. It's a very nice way to talk and a nice way to live. And most of us who have been here at the Zen Center for some period of time, highly recommend that you do just that.

[19:28]

For some period of time. You know, a week, a year, many years. Go to the mountain monastery. Contemplate the nature of thought, the consequence of your actions, and the benefit of prolonged periods of seated meditation and study. Please do that. And then come home to this world of human sorrows. Come home before contentment seals your fate. just as it nearly sealed the fate of Shakyamuni Buddha following his enlightenment. So these citations are from the Pali Canon. Now while the Blessed One was alone in retreat, this thought arose in him. This law that I have attained is profound and hard to see, hard to discover. It is the most peaceful and superior goal of all, not attainable by mere reasoning.

[20:36]

subtle, for the wise to experience. But this generation relies on attachment, relishes attachment, delights in attachment. It is hard for such a generation to see this truth, that is to say, the law of karma, the formation of causes and their effects of dependent co-arising. And it's hard to see this truth, that is to say, the quieting of all formations, the relinquishing of the essential belief in existence, the exhaustion of all forms of craving, the fading away of lust, hatred, and ignorance. And if I taught the law, others would not understand me, and that would be wearing and troublesome for me. And thereupon it came to him spontaneously these stanzas never heard before. Enough of teaching of the law that even I have found hard to reach.

[21:40]

For it will never be perceived by those that live in lust and hate. Men died in lust and whom a cloud of darkness laps will never see what goes against the stream. It's subtle, deep, and hard to understand. Considering thus his mind favored inaction and not teaching the law. So when I reflected on this example of the Buddha's own life story and on the example of the Buddha ancestors who followed after him, it seemed pretty obvious to me that beginning with Shakyamuni Buddha, they each had to choose between a life of contentment and self-enjoyment and a life of devotion to the world of human sorrows. Like the world that we live in now. ramped up as it is by fear, by lust, hatred, and delusion, and by the vast arsenal of weapons for not only the mass destruction of human beings, but for all life on this precious planet.

[22:52]

The word crazy comes to mind, as it probably has for many of you over the last few weeks. I've also heard the words surreal, unbelievable, heartbreaking, and sad. So now what? This is a really good question. Now what? Is don't know enough of an answer? Is that an appropriate response? For now, it seems to be what most of the good people of conscience are saying, you know, I don't know. It's too soon to tell. And at the same time, the people of conscience seem to be getting ready. Poised on the edge of their seats, like Kuan Yin with one leg up from the seated position in order to move quickly when called. all of which reminded me of a question that I asked to Mel Weitzman, Zohjan Roshi, years ago down at Tassahara during a Shosan ceremony.

[24:06]

I was a fairly young monk at the time. I said to him, dreams are sweet. I long for sleep. What do you have to offer? And he said, rather gruffly, go wash your face. I don't remember what I thought at the time. I know I was embarrassed but now what I think is that what it means is stop dreaming about saving all beings and do something. During the last few months I've been studying our Japanese ancestor Dogen Zenji who brought Soto Zen from China back to Japan. I think we all know that he emphasized the one practice of just sitting Shikantaza. But it takes a while to come to understand just what just sitting means and what it has to do with anything other than just sitting.

[25:09]

What it has to do with just walking, just working, just speaking up, joining in and crying out loud. We are living in perilous times. And yet there has... Never been a time quite like this one right now. This time is new and fresh and full of both possibilities and responsibilities. When Dogen studied his own mind while just sitting in Ru Jing's monastery in China, he studied the pivotal activity of self and not-self until all notions of mind and body dropped away. An experience, Dogen reported, that shook his entire being to its very core in an inexpressible ecstatic joy that engulfed his whole heart. He then went to Ru Jing's private quarters, offered incense and bowed to Buddha.

[26:14]

And Ru Jing said, what is the incense burning for? Dogen replied, my body and mind are dropped off. Shinjin datsuraku. To which his teacher responded, dropped off are the body and mind. In other words, there is no hanging on to the dropping off of body and mind. Dropped off must be dropped off too. And therefore his teacher pointed out to Dogen who had just understood something that his understanding was getting in the way. Zen isn't about something that we're going to get. It's about something that we are going to lose over and over again. Self-receiving and self-employing samadhi, getting and giving, self and no-self, are conjoined twins, which are arising at the same time.

[27:15]

And together, landing on that red-hot iron skillet in each and every moment. Therefore, when Dogen returned to Japan in 1227, he came, as he said, empty-handed. His sole souvenir presented to his disciples was his own body and mind, completely liberated and transformed and completely ready to go to work. And just like Shakyamuni Buddha and all the Buddha ancestors before him, Dogen set forth to teach what had been so hard to realize. for the sake of all beings. He didn't just sit there. He wrote page after page after page. And he spoke day after day to his devoted students as the Buddha had done with the five ascetics until each of them came to realize their own Zen awakening. Just this person. Just this person as inseparable from the suffering of this world.

[28:24]

as each of us is right now. A few weeks ago at Green Gulch, I was talking with Archie So, Timo Blanc, who's from Germany. And I asked him, how is it, what happened in Germany that allowed Hitler to foster a nation of horrors? And Timo said, nobody spoke out. which reminded me of something I'd heard that Khrushchev had said following what was called the secret speech, which he gave after the 20th Soviet Congress, in which he denounced Stalin to the shock of many in the room. And someone yelled out, how could we have let Stalin lead us into committing such atrocities? And Khrushchev yelled back, who said that? And nobody responded.

[29:24]

And Khrushchev said, that's how. So maybe it's clear to us now that we must speak out and act out from that unblinking gaze of our self-awareness. And that as Buddhists we are called on to do so within the strictest guidelines of the bodhisattva vow. Those guidelines are the precepts firmly grounded in the laws of karma. Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by not hating. Not hating is a practice that we do in the midst of a hate-filled rage. And just as the practice of patience doesn't count when you're feeling patient, the practice of not hating doesn't count when you're feeling the love. I was listening on the radio to some of the First Nation women who had gone to Standing Rock to act as human shields between the water protectors and the police.

[30:34]

And one of the women, an army veteran, said, for almost 20 years I've been willing to die for my country. But here, in this place, on this sacred ground, I am willing to live for my people. to stand unarmed in front of those who would cause harm to us and to our land. And for the first time as a soldier, I know what real courage is. So a lot of people have been asking us who are in leadership here at the Zen Center what we're going to do about the threats that have been made to the most vulnerable people in our society. and to this very planet itself. And personally, I'm somewhat tired of all the words that are being said, and yet I also know that words are all we have right now, guided by our commitment to nonviolence and to truth.

[31:36]

So what are we going to do about the threat to our people being all people, and to our land being all land? and to tell you the truth. I don't know. It's a poem by Percy Shelley. I met a traveler from an antique land who said, Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command tell that its sculptor well those passions read, which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things. The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed. And on the pedestal these words appear. My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings.

[32:43]

Look on my works, ye mighty. and despair nothing beside remains round the decay of that colossal wreck boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far far away thank you very much thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[33:32]

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