August 18th, 2001, Serial No. 03921

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why

as most of you know the past three weeks we've been having a three week meditation retreat and for the last week we five five days actually we had a session in which we mostly didn't talk i mean couldn't talk
we were really good at we talk
i find it a little bit peculiar to
say something
hmm
but you know saying something is a way of being with you
so i'll say something but you know it's really not necessary

we sat somebody we had a group at the end of her the five days says she is a transition group so that we could begin talking and
the group i was in i'm sure all of them were like this but the group i was in was particularly i thought it was wonderful because some people said things it was wisdom that came out there group that was more than any one of us i think could have managed alone and it was a it was a beautiful
it was like all the facets of the jaw in a h one each particular jaw
gave their self it's beautiful to say very sparkly
and i'm one of the people there said that we had sat one hundred and forty eight period six thousand
the whole thing then
sir you know what's the point

well because it's soto zen buddhism
i'll say that there isn't a point you know we're taught in in this very peculiar lineage of non-duality that says and is just to
useless because it's gain less
because if you have gained right away there's i duality so
it's kind of like art or play know when's the last time you guys played
hey i really we should have more play we should write it into the schedule
from five to six play he'd be stumped
but don't you remember what it was like when you're a kid you actually play there was no purpose to jacks or double dutch or stick boller you know fishing for quarters and the sore whatever
kids do that layer against where i grew up play
he
and as a matter of hay un
yeah let that feeling of that feeling of tar and that tar smell have at tara smell and better
that however and it wouldn't you guys doing as i am
no say

know of course there is something to is like suzuki where she said you know we're perfect just the way we are
and he meant it completely
cause he saw buddha feels all over but if hills
but then he said dot dot dat and we could use a little improvement
human beings are
just between you and me
dangerously insane

how does just talking to somebody in a day saying how successful the small self is at
the purpose of this way i'm sorry to use the word smarter because small self is also big mind but the small self as job is to discriminate so that it makes sure that this body survives so that it can procreate
man you thought something else was going on
the
no we're just at the we are you know here to keep life going as human beings and were so successful at it and so stupid that we're going to actually undermine our life support system by our own you know
success
based on greed
this offer is so soft
where'd you get this up
this is not the one i usually sooner
talking about greed
say it are in our world when it's reduced to very little this that this is if that he really want you know you want this particular it

so we did this three week intensive and i wanted to take a little bit of time to thank everybody
everybody for as well in the greater song who came and helped out and a number of you did in the kitchen and various other things
thank you very much and
the people on staff who organized the whole thing particularly my my i don't know what i would do without david who helped organize and set up the rooms and did a males list and the a know who continued to work through out
to got applause at the end it was great and the work later he did a fabulously good job and of course the kitchen
and blanche who took the burden of responsibility for the teaching and setting a tone
for the intensive which was lovely time
and every one i haven't named i sorry
i forgot people
and one day during the intensive i was this kind of welling up of gratitude happened and i went to blanch and i asked her well where did this
you know useless teaching come to us where did it come from
and of course

first and foremost they came from the buddha
and you know during at one point during our air instead of service every day we did bows ten minutes of bowing to lot of bowing and at one point i was just bowing and i just kind of flipped over to yes you know usually when i bow it's more like just bowing
but at one point i kind of flipped over and i thought to myself no i i really want about and buddha to this human being shocking modi you know buddha gautama buddha said hearth and buddha
who did this wonderful thing for s he clarified he clarified and deepened his life he stood up as a human being mature human being
what is this life
and what he awoke to was he awoke to that his personal life the life that i call my life
he found my life is actually the life of everything altogether
his life is the life of everything our life my own individual life is my life and at this very same time it's the life of everything happening altogether one life were all living one life
wow
and how to understand that life for how to practice that understanding came down to us in many different ways many different lineages lots of different styles

and our particular style is so toes in
comes from so son and toes on so it should be
toso sin person to toasters and but it's actually took quieted soto
should be toto then
where the ptosis and school
on now
towson is named after can so sign is also named after them out
no
the on
by that time
you want that name
oh
already corrupt
much
so we're a part of his sotto sotto lineage and i thought i would really
to you at taste a little taste of our school our school is basically non dualistic the it's based on of the truth the understanding that there is justice one life beyond
birth and death enlightenment not enlightenment gain and loss and seven so although they are all of these things is is like the
true the to the teacher i'm sorry or intellectual right now but anyway to truss ultimate choose conventional truth conventional truth is dualistic ultimate truth is non dualistic but even this way of looking at it is dualistic so behind the holistic is just to see
sit and be life and be life with everything so in other words you study the sense of separation or the self reflecting mind so well that you forget that you don't bother not bothered by the concept of me
and you live in the world from the heart
you know during session
somebody
i wanna say this nicely lit
somebody left encouraging little sticky comes around this zendo and priscilla first what i want to say is no no no no even if they're encouraging we don't we don't leave anything on anybody's place in the zendo because that little place should be inviolable safe you don't know
what that person is going through and
by joanne
but
you don't know if that person is going through so you know sometimes it does a her day and of says she in their little gum drops in on everybody's see or sometimes like somebody left flowers on people seats system is a lovely gesture but went on to it
but anyway today's knows who are really wonderful and the first one i kept it by my see kind of bit the first one was
a number of you could actually tell me because i'm shooting at the same no body like a mountain
as true
breath like the wind
mine like the sky was fabulous note because that's what was their body like a mountain and everybody in this analysts just plunk
especially because it was silence as shame you know plunk
breath like the wind you know not even your breath just press just breath
mine like the sky
just with little i'm never gonna get all his books
so is my happens
heartless get back here
so
so our school is beyond duality so even if there is a sensitive ha
well whatever whatever they experience were encouraged to return it to life may turn to life returned to silence over and over again as your life arises out of everything and then you just meet whatever it is with whatever your truth is
is he made whatever that is an intimacy you we witness each other as life itself happening

you know and dot dot dot some people
i'm
you know can
some people what can i say
to be with some people like suzuki roshi category i show whomever to be with their person you can have a sense of that stability you can have a sense of that non dual approach to life so for me always the biggest teaching was actually just simply being with these people
and how they did their how they live their life was always the biggest teacher didn't need words but it was always helpful to me because whenever i was with them i my small self that jabbering and smart like especially if if he had docudrama i'm sure everybody in the same experience when i used to go to
ducks homeless situation i would bring him my problems which were real for me you know and we would talk a little bit and for some reason or another they just didn't seem that you know grotesque
they just seemed
in his sky mind my little problems just didn't seem as important as they were
you know
so being in the presence of someone with that kind of presence is very helpful to everyone even though you know snicker as she didn't see necessarily distinctions of not away can awake hello there are
this is making sense to people
so here's our lineage so to osan and susan and i'm going to skip a lot because what i really want to get to what i really want to say is the people i have had a taste of soto's and from suzuki roshi and category roshi and
and
okamura
uchiyama through okamura who lives here
i'm i'm i'm fond of this lineage i'm just happy to be here with these people the who they were and the way they practiced for me is a wonderful thing
so i wanted to read for you a taste of those people going back to what one and let me read this to you
seeing that i like so much about it is that there are four main lines of soto zen that are now in existence and three of those lines are related and there and the people who i appreciate or related they're related so category rocio suzuki roshi and uchiyama roshi hm
russia is the book opening the hand of thought and category roshi is returning to silence that book and suzuki roshi mainly is beginners much as in mind beginner's mind book those books they're actually related by so their teachers so
yeah i don't have to keep saying these days because you know i can remember them anyway but anyway right on top of luciano she is so wacky cotto roshi and on top of category roshi is dharma brothers echo nurse accurate she also a wonderful
teacher is knit is okay so time and right above suzuki roshi his coaches our in
and all of those people are related to nature a focus on through oka certain that year and i can remember any of this doesn't matter but what is interesting to me is is that the taste of
sotos in is similar in all of these lineages that we they have touched our practice have touched our practice
so in in gratitude for their practice and ingratitude for their reaching back all the way to shockingly buddha
i thought i would just to read a little bit of their way
before it gets way too late
so here's
much maybe first oh hughes
topos on poem this poem you'll recognize because we say it a lot but this is his understanding that his life is the life of everything
member he's walking across a bridge and when he left his teacher his teacher said justice is it he was work a didn't understand it was walking across a bridge and he saw his reflection in this dream and this is his poem
long seeking it through others i was far from raging it
now i go by myself i made it everywhere it is just i myself and i am not it
understanding and this way i can be as i am

the taste
there's not a taste

this is friends and mind beginner's mind
true mind is watching mind you cannot say this is myself my small mind or my limited mind and that is pig mind that is limiting yourself restricting your true mind objectifying your mind but a dharma said in order to see a fish you must watch the water
are actually when you see water you see the true fish before you see buddha nature you watch your mind when you see the water there is true nature true nature is watching water
when you say my zazen is very poor here you have true nature but foolishly you don't realize it you ignore it on purpose there is immense importance in the eye with which you watch your mind that i is not the big guy it is the i which is incessantly active always swimming always fly
lang through the vast air with wings by wings i mean thought an activity the vast sky is home my home there is no bird or air when the fish swims water and fish or the fish there is nothing but fish do you understand

this is kind of neat although you do not know your own mind it is there at the very moment you see something it is there this is very interesting your mind is always with the things you observe so you see this mind is at the same time
time everything

category

don't forget the dot dot dot
jeanette i mean
you know but we could use a little improvement don't don't forget to dat dat dat

the main point of duggan's and teaching is that zazen is just to become present in the process of zazen itself this is just sitting
it is to focus on the process the process is you
to walk and stability means to just walk to just walk is to be present in the process itself the process of walking is exactly that our body and mind are nothing but the process there is no gap between us and the process

basically were peaceful and harmonious in other words our life is just a continuation of living that is all being living constantly
the truth of living is just to live and soto zen buddhism communication his life to life living to living that is what we have to learn from a teacher

teachings have no form because they are energy real communication is the direct demonstration of how to live

and this is luciano and encoder russia
if you think that the delusion of an ordinary person is bad and the enlightenment of buddha is good you're looking from a particular point of view to stop looking from any point of view is as in
because all condition things are impermanent buddha gave up the life of loss and gain and walks away beyond loss and gain
the way beyond loss and gain is the life of the stable self that exists before splitting into subject and object whatever your circumstances only when you accept them unconditionally and live the self that has firmly established in the self can you manifest the
absolute stability of the religious life
this is to study the surf to forget to self
he taught zazen as stability and life as the ultimate expression of the buddha dharma beyond subject and object birth and death delusion and enlightenment
you know this practice is really difficult the problem with it is that we get you know we can misinterpret what i'm saying as having as as kind of being lazy
and that's not what they're saying they can only say this from a point of view of really understanding
beyond duality but while we're still living in duality there actually is something that we must do and it takes a great deal of effort
and in a crate extreme amount of courage
and it's not easy and it's a choice that we make all the time

i think that soto's and tissues us in this way
because human beings were so caught in this you know running running running doing doing doing gain gain gain by by by happy happy happy
you know me me me
that soto zen just cut through all of it
but the problem with it is that we could get lazy and it's a real problem it's completely our responsibility to wake up completely our responsibility to make our life alive to become mature awake human being so
that we can live in the world from the heart
connected with everything
so i'm going to end
i wanted to read a little bit of nature a book a son but
instead i'm gonna read kids that i didn't read the last time
and there is no i want rate keeps that i didn't read the last time is because
play
because we should play more we should do more art we should do sports and music and poetry and jacks and stamp collecting
thank you and whatever else makes makes makes useless activity just like zazen totally useless
completely beyond understanding
just life you know just double dutch
so i'm going to read this just because

when i want and you know it is kind of heretical because i'm not going to read the whole poem so i apologize i'm just going to read the beginning in the last verse of two of them the first one is an ode to a nightingale and the other one's gonna be owed to occasion earn and i'm
just going to read i apologize run the first and last verses
thank you

how many people have heard and nightingale sing
good how many people have heard a mockingbird there
how many people are bird watchers
k
this is owed to a nightingale
my heart aches and a drowsy numbness this young man died at twenty six years old
there's so many great people died so young such a loss
my heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains my sense as though a hemlock i had drunk or emptied some dull opiate to the drains one minute past and least words had sunk tis not through envy of they have a lot but being too happy in thine happiness
light winger dry out of the trees in some melodious plot of beach and green and shadows numberless single most of summer in full throated ease
i'm going to be the last year
there was not born for death immortal bird know hungry generations tread the down the voice i hear this passing night was heard in ancient days by emperor and clown
perhaps the self same song that found a path through the sad heart of ruth when sick for home she stood in tears amid the alien corn
the same that off times hath charm and magic casements opening on the foam of perilous seas in faery lands forlorn
forlorn the very word is like a bell told me back from the to my soul self a jew the fancy cannot cheat so well as she is fame to do deceiving else and you a do they plaintive anthem fades
pass the near meadows over the still stream up the hillside and now to buried deep in the next valley glades
was it a vision or a waking dream fled is that music do i wake or sleep
and i'll read the first and last
go to a grecian urn
thou still on ravished bride of quietness is you know on earn his niece does upon about an urn
what
there was still and ravished brought you know notes and are you know what i'm talking of it is an urn and it has great
you know people painted her you know that again
there still and ravished bride of quietness thou foster child of silence and slow time sylvan historian who kannst thus express a flower retail more sweetly than our rhyme
what leaf fringed legend haunts about the shape of deities or more hos or of both what men are gods are these what maidens loath what mad pursuit what struggle to escape what pipes and ambrose what wild ecstasy
oh attic shape faire attitude with breed of marble men and maidens overwrought with forest branches and the trodden we'd now silent form does teasers out of thought as
death eternity
cold past her all
when old age shall this generation waste thou shalt remain in midst of other woe than ours a friend to people to whom thou seest beauty is truth truth beauty that is all you know on earth
and all ye need to know

so i hope that you spend the rest of the day playing
something somewhere and enjoy this life connected with everything that we miraculously have yes
unspeakably what
truly silence is the closest
yeah