This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everybody. It's afternoon here in New York. And since time has really... ceased to exist in the past year and a half. It really doesn't matter, does it? It's great to see everyone. Today I want to talk about Angulimala in relation to the precept of not speaking about the faults of others. This is the sixth precept. And I want to look at how the story is related to the precept. This is a very rich precept, as they all are.

[01:01]

And of course, it's related to other precepts, just like all of them are. In particular, related to not putting myself up and putting others down. Not giving way to anger. Not harboring ill will, etc. So really, a lot of richness here. And this precept, I vow not to speak about the faults of others. It's not only a guide that has been used well, but it's also been a guide that's been used to shut down people as well. So I want to bring that in too. The first thing I want to mention is I learned that in Tibetan culture, If you speak about the faults of others in a way that's, you know, assigning the fault as a thing, like maybe an immutable characteristic that somebody might have or a gossip, then they actually have the impression that you are the one who is mentally ill.

[02:16]

So I really appreciate that because it really makes you kind of think, huh, so if I... talking about somebody in a way that maybe is pushing the edges of what's okay a little bit, then the one who looks bad is me. And they all kind of like back up and look at you funny like, what's wrong with you? And I think that's a really interesting way to switch it around a little bit. So first of all, was a fault. And I think, you know, we all have, we all think we have faults, but I think in this case, really what we're calling a fault, maybe something similar to a characteristic that exists forever. At least that's how I'm going to present on it. So a fault is something we all have, we all make mistakes and we all have things about ourselves that we might want to work on a little bit.

[03:19]

But are those things that are permanent false? What's permanent anyway? You know, don't we all just have different things that we bring to the mix? Some of us have different ways of speaking. Some of us are tall. Some of us are big. Some of us have a natural tendency to flare, you know, when we get excited or get angry. Some of us have the opposite. No way I'm going to talk about anything difficult. Uh-uh. Go away. That's what's on our plate. Are these faults? Are these part of who we are? That's my question for today. We all have what's on our plate, you know? We all have what we have to work with. And maybe some of those things are things that we would like to really look at more closely. But as soon as we assign them a permanent status, it becomes really hard to deal with it.

[04:23]

And then we get into a danger zone then. So I want to start off with some of the misconceptions about this precept. Some people use this precept, I vow not to speak about the faults of others, as a blanket rule that means no... you can never talk about anything that is unpleasant. And I want to disagree with that. We've even heard some teachers use this precept as a blanket rule that says when something difficult happens, you can't talk about it because this precept says no. And I think that is a misconception. We have to talk about the things that make us uncomfortable. That's how we stay in relationship with each other. We must. But the question is, how are we going to do that? Are we going to do that in a way that benefits all sentient beings?

[05:28]

Are we going to do that in a way that really contributes to harm? And we have a choice in this matter. But not talking about it is not an option. The social work researcher Brene Brown has this saying that she likes, choose discomfort over resentment. Choose discomfort over resentment. And she says that 10 seconds of discomfort can save you years of resentment. So when something happens and she needs to speak up and she's like, I don't want to, she counts to 10. Okay, choose discomfort over resentment. Choose discomfort and resentment. Choose discomfort and resentment. And then finally, you know, I'm wondering if we could have a coffee and talk for a few minutes. Would that be okay with you? You know, she summons up her courage and just starts.

[06:32]

And that's the hardest part here, right? It really can be really hard to try. But it's just saved years. of a story that she might have started creating, a story that eventually can become calcified and hardened into a permanent resentment or a permanent fault. Try it out. Ten seconds of discomfort can save you years of resentment. Talking directly to people when we have difficulties, when they've done something that's not okay, or we just have a disagreement, actually deepens our relationships. We need to work through this in order to go to the next level of depth. And without this next level of depth, we just skate on the surface of our relationships. And that doesn't feel satisfying, and it doesn't allow us to learn and to grow.

[07:38]

We need to build up this level of trust where we can talk about our disagreements and talk about the things that we mess up on so that we can have a greater trust in the community itself. Because we've all signed up for this community, this Sangha, this greater Sangha. And we've done so with an agreement that's shared. So for us as Buddhists, we have the basics of taking refuge at the center. You know, the precepts, the way of life that we've chosen to engage in together as a community. We have this shared agreement and we have a sense of accountability for when we get outside of the shared agreements. And we depend on the Sangha to both keep the agreement and and to hold us accountable to the agreement. And that works in balance, of course, with the Dharma, the teachings of the Buddha, and also with the Buddha, with our practice and our own Buddha nature, the teachings that come from the inside out, which are already here.

[08:59]

So these things together are a system that we have to take care of. Because refuge actually is not a place of punishment or of pushing out, but it's a place of safety that we can return to when we are having difficulty. And creating that place of safety is all of our job, not some of our job. We all have to work together to create it. So being nice in order to avoid some necessary truth-telling really diminishes the safety of the community as a whole. So our job is to show up. And you know what? We can do it because we have the support of each other, and we have the guide to do that in the Dharma, and we have our own practice to help us.

[10:01]

We don't have to make it up. So we can choose to show up in a way that's real, done from a place of love and care. Can we show up? Can we talk about the difficult things from a place of love and care? And this is where we start. How do we do that? So I want to move over to the story of Angulimala. And today I'm using Bhikkhu Nanamali's Life of the Buddha, which is a book that sort of takes all the stories of the Buddha and puts them into a novel-type linear form for our convenience. So Angulimala was a bandit and robber in general. you know, pretty bad dude who became monk.

[11:04]

So what was he like? Thus have I heard. This is how the story goes. One day when the Blessed One was living at Tsvati, a bandit had appeared in the realm of the king, and he was called Angulimala. And that is to say, finger necklace. He was murderous, bloody-handed, given to blows and violence, and merciless to all living beings. Villages, towns, and districts were laid waste by him. He went on murdering people, and he wore their fingers as a necklace. This is Angolimala. So pretty difficult character. Yeah, that's how he got his name. Anguli is a finger and Amala is like, you know, beads, like a necklace.

[12:10]

So he would wear the fingers of his victims around his neck. So you might imagine that this created some feelings on the part of the people who had to risk encountering this guy. And those feelings sort of built up over time. And I guess the question was, you know, what are we going to do about it? He's causing us a lot of harm. Something's got to happen. So the first person to meet him is the Buddha. And the Buddha does it on purpose. Everybody says to the Buddha, you know, don't go down that road. Agulimala is down there. And the Buddha's like, no, that's okay. I'm going to go. So he walks down the road. And the Buddha's just, you know, walking along, doing some walking practice, walking at a very steady pace, and I'm pulling him all the season. And he's like, aha, look at that.

[13:13]

That guy's all alone. I can take out 40 people at once. No problem. I'm going to take him out. So he does, he goes, and he starts to chase the Buddha. And the thing is, the Buddha just keeps walking. at a regular pace. And Uncle Mala, no matter how fast he runs, no matter how hard he chases him, he can't catch him. He's like, what is going on? Usually I can catch an elephant with no problem. You know, I can catch a whole bunch of people. I can catch a deer and here I am. I can't even catch up with this guy and he's just walking. Something's happening. So he's paying attention. And this is what happens. Agulimala pauses and he says, stop, monk, stop, monk. And the Buddha says, I have stopped, Agulimala.

[14:18]

Do you stop also? So Agulimala thinks, you know, all right, This isn't my usual way of talking. Something's going on here. But something was moved in him. Something woke up. And he wants to know a little more. He's kind of questioning, you know. It's like these monks, they speak the truth and they assert the truth. Even though this monk is walking, he says, I've stopped. Do you stop also? Huh. I think I'm going to ask him some questions. And so he does. Of course, you know, in verse, as you do. While you're walking, Monk, you tell me you've stopped. But when I've stopped, you say that I haven't stopped. I ask of you, Monk, what is the meaning of it? How is it you have stopped and I have not?

[15:23]

Angulimala, I have stopped forever for swearing violence to every living being. But you have no restraint toward anything. And that is why I have stopped and you have not. So Angulimala is impressed. And he says, at long last, a sage I can revere. This monk has now appeared in the great forest. Surely, I will for long renounce all evil. Hearing your stanza, setting forth the Dhamma. And he does. He takes all of his weapons and he throws them off a cliff. He renounces all evil. He takes refuge and he becomes a monk and he follows the Buddha. All following that initial encounter, where the Buddha was brave enough to walk down that road and meet him.

[16:30]

So that's how it goes. He becomes a monk, just like that. Goes and becomes a home lever. Practices very diligently. Really trying his best. How do we speak up? What about us? You know, we have teachings on this. I already spoke about some of the precepts, but... You know, what about the precepts of right speech? Those are ours. We can take them. Is it the right time? Do I tell the truth? Do I speak in a way that's, you know, gentle and can be heard and not too harsh? Is what I have to say necessary? And can I say what I need to say? With a heart of goodwill for the other person. And this is very crucial. Do I have a heart of goodwill for the other person?

[17:35]

And I'm going to return to that. Because the opposite is the heart of ill will. But first I want to mention truth. Do I speak the truth? Sometimes when we're hurt or when something bad happens, the story gets so... calcified, so rigid, so stuck that we lose a sense of the truth. So a good thing to do is just to sit down and figure out what happened. Just the facts. It's pretty hard to do and it takes a few drafts, you know. Brene Brown also has a thing that she likes to tell people to do is write down your shitty first draft. It's kind of as empty. And put it aside, and then go ahead and get it out. But that's not the draft you're going to share. So break out your SFD, give it a little time, not too much time, but then honestly revisit the facts and really ask yourself, is this true?

[18:45]

And if so, you know, where am I in here to? You can check it out with a neutral third person. And in particular, if a person is in power more than you and you need to be able to speak with them, that's a really good way that's skillful to find a way to talk to them, to find that neutral third person and then elicit their help. But you don't get to not show up. You know, that's not part of the equation. And you don't get to not be truthful. So it's kind of hard to find out where the truth is. Because if we're really looking honestly at ourself, we all have biases. We all have parts that we don't see. And we all have stuff. So we have to be able to take that story and really make sure that it is accurate. In the right use of power training, there's this principle of the 150%.

[19:49]

And it goes something like this. So both parties, the person in a down power position and the person in the up power position, both people have a full responsibility to show up 100%. You don't get to shirk that responsibility. You don't get to show up only 50%. You have to show up. But the person who's in power gets this bonus prize of an extra 50%. So 150%. So when that happens, you know, if there's some kind of disharmony, it's really up to the person in power to make repair or to at least initiate repair. And if you don't have that power, you don't get to take a pass. But there are many other ways you can approach it. And it starts with telling the truth. You know, like if you need to get help to talk to the person, then that should be available to you, especially when you're in a community that's a sangha.

[20:57]

There are others who have more power who can help you to speak up. It's possible to do. You have to start. So that's the first thing. Tell the truth. And really, you know, examine your truth. Make sure that, you know, that... That some of your slants aren't in there. Is it really true that the person's eyes got really big and all of their hair stood on end? Because sometimes that's how it feels when somebody's angry at you. But maybe when you revisit, you could take out those extra details about their intentions and about the permanent damage that's been done. Because we don't know that. All we know is what happened. and where we are right now in this moment. So that's the basic of please tell the truth. And then the next thing we can do is to examine our own motivations. And if those are off, those can be good clues for us.

[22:02]

So I mentioned anger before. Are we speaking up out of anger and blame? Do we have like a malicious streak? It's very natural to be angry when something happens. We can own that. But when we take it a little extra and want to get revenge, then that's too much. You know, because it's continuing the cycle. So we can own the anger, but not make it permanent. Because anger, just like everything else, comes and goes. So are we being malicious? Are we trying to win people over to our side? Oh, that person. You know, Uncle Imala, man, he is pure evil. And you won't believe what I saw the other day. Oh, my goodness, let me tell you about it. We're trying to win people over.

[23:05]

But we have to have an honest reflection of our own motivations and our own actions. Another thing that can really trip us up is jealousy. Are we competitive? Are we trying to bring them down just a little bit and put ourselves up? And of course these speak to our own ego, which our practice gives us a tool to work with. So are we really centering ourselves? Is the main character in the story And if so, how can we widen it out just a little bit so that we can engage from a place that's balanced and real? Another way we tend to kind of subtly put people down is, you know, we kind of fake psychoanalyze them. You know, we make it seem like...

[24:09]

We have some authority inside into the depth of their character by assigning these terms to them, when in reality what we're doing is kind of pumping ourselves up a little bit. So, you know, I know we had this disagreement, but, you know, she's, you know, I know I shouldn't say this, but I think she's got, she's probably got bipolar disorder, you know. How many people do that, have seen that done? have had it done to you? Does it feel good when it happens? And I'm going to say that speaking about others' fault, and again, fault has immutable characteristics, does that make us happy? No. It causes disharmony, and it makes us miserable. And it also causes other people to speak badly of us. I said I was going to move over into ill will a little bit.

[25:24]

I'm going to do that. Ill will comes when we're unhappy with somebody. And we want to cause them harm. And we can do that in a lot of different ways. Physically, mentally, verbally. You know, Yangtze Rinpoche, one of my... Tibetan Buddhist teachers told us once this Tibetan saying that goes something like this. You know, in English, we have sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, which always felt a little untrue to me as a little kid. You know, maybe your mom might tell you that or some other kids or a teacher, but words hurt. Yeah. So he said that Tibetans say, you know, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will rip your heart out. And I thought that's a lot more accurate. Words can be more painful than sticks and stones.

[26:25]

Words can really hurt. Words can hurt in a way that's very deep and ongoing and hard to heal from. We have to be really careful how we use them. So then in terms of ill will, can kind of take over our mind, you know? Our mind has decided to harm. You know, it starts like something kind of happens that we don't like. So we get a little bit of an aversion. And then we start feeling that I just, I can't take it. You know, they have hurt me so much that I can't, it's unbearable. I really can't handle it. And pretty soon the story starts to cement. And we can't let it go. And we're thinking about it over and over and over. And really getting solidified in our view that this is a bad person.

[27:29]

Pretty soon, the wish to retaliate starts to come in. Well, I have to protect myself. I'm going to get them away from me. Or maybe not even that conscious. And then before we know it, ill will is set in. And we're stuck. Really stuck. Everyone wants to be loved. This is something I think we can all agree on. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone is afraid of being judged and criticized. So my question to you is, even in the middle of very difficult circumstances, can we still find something good in a person? And if we can't, that's a big flag. We start to run into the risk of dehumanizing them, really setting in our ways, really getting stuck.

[28:40]

I'm going to return to Angulimala now. So now he's a monk, remember? practicing, really, you know, trying his best, renouncing the world. One day, as they're gathered in Jedha's group, the king comes, and he wants to talk to the Buddha. All the people, they're gathered. You know, they're in a big uproar and they've come to meet with the king. And they're like, you know, I heard that a ghoulimala is around here. So the king is greatly alarmed. You know, he wants to take care of the people. So he goes and he talks to the Buddha. And the Buddha says, what is wrong, great king? What's wrong? Is someone attacking you? Is someone trying to make a war with you?

[29:41]

What's going on? And the king says, It's not that, Lord. A bandit has appeared in my realm. He goes on murdering people, and he wears their fingers as a necklace. I shall never succeed in putting him down, Lord. And then the Buddha says, that great king, if you saw that Angulimala had shaved off his hair and his beard and put on the yellow robe, and gone forth from the house into homelessness. And he was abstaining from killing and stealing, and was eating meals for only one half of the day, and living the holy life, virtuous, with goodness for his ideal. What would you do to him? And the king says, well, of course, I would, you know, I'd make offerings to him.

[30:42]

I'd take care of him. I would feed him. I would honor him. And the Buddha was like, well, there he is, right there. So what do you think? The king was pretty surprised, right? But more than being pretty surprised, and to me this was really pertinent, he was really scared. He was really afraid. And he was just like, you know, this is a guy who had a reputation. You know, it said he even killed his own mom. I mean, It's pretty extreme here. So the king was scared. And he talked to the Buddha. The Buddha calmed down. The king's fear went away. And so then he went over there. And he made homage. And he offered to take care of Angulimala. He was able to accept that he had renounced his ways and joined the community of the Sangha.

[31:45]

Pretty remarkable. Pretty remarkable. If he had been stuck with the phrase, Angulimara is a murderer, a murderer, capital M, stuck forever, possibly longer, murderer, he would not have been able to let go of his own fear. He'd have been stuck in feeling terrified. And then what? What good does that do a whole kingdom? The king is terrified. How is he supposed to take care of the rest of the people? We run a great risk when we get into dehumanizing people. You know, as humans, we're really hardwired to care for others. This is a part of our human nature and certainly our Buddha nature.

[32:51]

The Buddha nature in me very naturally recognizes the Buddha nature in you. This is our essential goodness speaking. So when we start to introduce dehumanization, we're pulling ourselves out of that. The only way that we can really get, like, you know, kind of allow ourselves to really hurt others is when we start to deny their Buddha nature and start to make them less than human. And this we do. You know, a recent poll I saw said that, I don't remember the exact percentages, but it said that it's like... 10% maybe of Republicans said that they believe that if all Democrats died, the world would be better off.

[33:51]

And the opposite was true to about the same percentage of Democrats said if all the Republicans just up and died, the world would be better. This is the result of dehumanization, and this is not a place we can afford to go because it leads to violence. It leads to separation, and it prevents our own enlightenment. It prevents our connection and our love for each other. Again, every single being wants to be loved. We all want to be happy and don't want to suffer. Dehumanization comes when we're out of confusion. when we're really conflicted in our motives. When we're conflicted like that and we don't know what to do, we start to externalize who the enemy is. It's them over there. But remember I just talked through some of our motivations?

[34:56]

The Buddhist path helps us to understand that, to come out of that calcified place of othering people, to come back into humanity Together. So once we created an image of an enemy, of them, it gets stuck. We start to get into good and evil. And inevitably, we are on the side of good, of course, you know. And y'all over there are evil. And it's that over there that's the real danger. You people. Those. And even using language. to dehumanizing people, calling people cockroaches, calling some human being after a snack food, like a Cheeto. This takes away their humanity and makes them stuck where they are. And if they're stuck, then there's no chance of coming back into community together.

[35:59]

Gone. The worst thing about dehumanizing people is Yeah, it leads to more violence. We know this from the research on it. Again, thank you, Brene Brown, for this. We know that it leads to more violence and that the chance, if we get rid of one style of leader, the chance of an even more dangerous leader coming in increases. That's all true. It leads to violence and it leads to pushing people out of of the shared agreements of our societies, of our sangha. But even more, dehumanizing others takes away our own capacity for empathy. And there is nothing worse than that. We can't afford to do it. So when that king really met Angolimala, and despite his fear,

[37:05]

leaned in and honored him, accepted that he had renounced his ways and made repentance, accepted that he is part of the same community, then that king did himself a favor as well. So then we come to the last part of the story I really wanted to stress, which is... One day, the venerable, he's now venerable, right? Angulimala dressed, taking his bowl and his outer robe. He went for alms rounds. And on that occasion, a clod thrown by somebody fell on his body and a stick. thrown by someone, fell on his body, and a pot shard thrown by someone, fell on his body.

[38:08]

And then with his head broken, his blood flowing, with his bowl in pieces, and his outer robes of patches torn, he went to the Blessed One. Seeing him coming, the Blessed One said, bear it, Brahman, bear it. You have experienced here and now in this life the ripening of deeds. Who's ripening? You might have experienced in hell over many years, many times, many millennia. And so we did. He accepted what was on his plate, which is I killed people. He never denied it. I created this karma. I will bear it. I welcome that it's here so that I can face it and come back into community.

[39:11]

With the name Finger Necklace, see now the refuge I have found. What leads to rebirth is no more. While I did many deeds that promised birth in unhappy destinations, yet their result has reached me now. And so I eat no more in debt. Of all teachings the world has known, so welcome to that choice of mine. Let it stand. It was not ill-made. Let it stand. This is the beauty of acknowledging the harm and staying in community. And I want to say one final thing to you. Which is, as we attempt to stay together again as a sangha, with responsibility to others, with accountability as a whole, around these shared agreements of taking refuge, there's one piece that's missing that I haven't addressed yet in this story.

[40:29]

And that's what about the person who picked up the rock and threw it at Angulimala, hit his head, made him bleed, maybe really hurt him. You know, Angulimala accepted that he had set into motion the causes and conditions that caused that rock to be thrown. But what I'd like to say to you is, Don't become Angulimala through your own hatred, through dehumanization, through creating ill will. Don't pick up the rock. Because before you know it, you are Angulimala next. And then the cycle continues. Let's be together with love, with kindness.

[41:32]

Really watching out with loving kindness. If you can't practice those things, if you notice that you can't practice metta for somebody, it's a flag. But fortunately, we have a path. We have a way to come back into community and to be with each other. Honestly, realistically, fully showing up. all together. Thank you.

[42:30]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_96.33