Survival of this country to me, I am the world that I live in the town of Mark. In the history of the United States, I have lived in a hundred thousand million compasses. I began to see my wisdom through, through the library of my sight. This might help. Good evening, dear Sangha. Am I audible? Here we go. My name is Eli. I'm one of the resident priests here at City Center, and we'll be giving the talk tonight. Before I start, I want to give gratitude to two people that actually aren't here. Our head of practice, Tim, who's a tanto, and also Abbot David, for keeping these temples warm.

[01:22]

Thanks for filling in, hero. So I wanted to begin by recognizing, celebrating, and memorializing a great Dharma heir of Thich Nhat Hanh, Dr. Larry Ward, who transitioned and became an ancestor last Tuesday. He was a voice quite to say in the Dharma both figuratively and literally if you have a chance you could actually just walk out right now and go look up one of his talks. Really a remarkable speaker. His voice was one that was filled with sincerity and His teachings felt like no words were wasted. So, yeah, besides that, he just had an incredible passion for humanity in general. And he wrote an excellent poem that has to do with tonight's topic.

[02:24]

So I invite you to get into a comfortable meditative pose, or perhaps lower your eyes. This is a meditation on ancestors. Relax into the working ground of your ancestors. Look within with a clear mind. Watch as memories, thoughts, fears, disappointments, anger, and wonder flow by. Breathe, receive a spacious heart, and let what is most vivid melt away into the holy emptiness. Hold on to nothing and yet embrace everything as you fall into the river of goodness hidden in your bones, flowing toward the ocean of strength, forgiveness, and grace.

[03:27]

Excuse me, I like to get warm in my robes. So although I just introduced myself as a resident priest for the last two months, I had the opportunity to step back from my formal temple duties and primarily focused on providing a summer camp for my daughter, Maya, who's eight years old. So there's a lot of activity and also, as you can imagine, structured boredom, because I feel like that's lost nowadays and we need to bring boredom back. Besides that, I was also fortunate enough to go to a conference that I go to yearly. It's a think tank of diversity professionals. I'm kind of junior there, as you can imagine. But it's really one of my most beloved communities that I'm a part of. And we were in circle. We hold very kind of ritualistic space and talking about what we wanted to bring in.

[04:34]

to the retreat or offer, and also what we thought we might be able to take away. And people were doing that very sincerely and intentionally. And then one of my mentors, who some of you may know from the past, Juan Lopez, who's mentored me for about a decade now, said what he wanted to receive. And then he said what he had to give. And he looked at me and presented me with this wonderful object, which you may have seen floating back there. I didn't want to walk in with it, because I thought that'd be too dramatic. But kind of zen. But it's a walking stick that he handpicked the wood in Nevada City, which I recently happened to visit, coincidentally. and adorned it and gave it to me. And I don't know if he intended it in such a way.

[05:35]

I mean, I know that he did to a degree, but it was a sort of transmission. That community really, we relish the ancestors, those who have passed and are quite actively... recognizing them and giving them gratitude. And to me, when he gave that to me, it was a way of telling me that I belong, that he sees my heart and he sees me on the path that I am. And to remember that cultivating belonging and understanding of what it means to be human is part of my life work. So this is all going somewhere, I promise. A few days later, I returned from the conference. It's when Tim asked me to talk tonight. And August 29th happens to be my father's birthday. Dr. Albert Brown Jr.

[06:35]

passed in 2001. And one thing I've realized over the years is that his presence is not confined to his absence. He's very much with me in the way that I parent my daughter Maya, definitely in the way that I teach, and even the way that I bow. So he's definitely one of the ancestors that is responsible for me sitting here, just as we all have ancestors that contributed in the same way. And so with that said, I decided tonight I should talk about ancestor warmth. And to me, ancestor warmth is not just about memory or history, but it's about warm presence. It's the lives, the stories, the wisdom that we actually inherit, embody, and then hopefully pass forward. Not only from our blood ancestors, although they're part of it, but our cultural, spiritual, and even universal lineages.

[07:41]

So some of the questions maybe that you could reflect on or that I'm exploring in this talk this evening is what does it mean to be a good ancestor now? It's like just right now. You don't have to wait for like when you leave, but like what does it mean to be a good ancestor in any moment? Another question is what are we carrying forward? And then maybe the last is, and what do we want to contribute to those who will come after us? Part of me just wants to splash the whole thing back on the face. Excuse me. So when we receive Jukai or go through priest ordination, we receive what's called a Dharma name. Mine happens to be Soan Ginkhan, which translates to ancestor warmth present completely.

[08:51]

And I don't know, I can't speak for everybody. For most of us, I think the Dharma names, when they're received, are somewhat mysterious. But for me, and I think for others, they turn quickly into living questions. Some people think of these Dharma names as poetic or symbolic, and they are, but they're also kind of directional. The first part of it kind of is a quality that's present, and usually the second part of it is something aspirational. So my living question for the last six years has been, what is ancestor warmth? And again, it's not a memorial. It's not about keeping the past in a glass case, but more about tapping into something that is alive and present and accessible in this very moment. For me, this happens to show up most when I'm teaching with children.

[09:59]

I work with little ones weekly. Do something. I try to serve as somewhat of a conduit or a reminder that their breath can connect them to something that is ancient and trustworthy. You could say I'm trying to connect them to their ancestral essence. However, I don't use that kind of language, obviously. But in the same sense, we're kind of doing that together in Sangha. We're not just practicing for ourselves. We're practicing in streams of care that flow through generations, touching and moving through all of our lives. So when I was, I guess, memorializing Larry, Dr. Ward, I came across a story that he told about he was adopted. When he got brought home from the hospital and to his grandfather's house, his grandfather planted a peach tree.

[11:03]

And every day, his grandfather tended to it. And when Larry would stay with him, obviously, he helped care for it, watering, pruning, ensuring that it would bear fruit for years. And so, really, he emphasizes around stewardship, that this dharma practice that we're in is to be stewards of what has been entrusted to us. And not only entrusted to us, but to do what we can with that, without guarantees, to ensure that this transmission of liberation, beauty, and love is not lost or misunderstood. So in essence, and we're taught this at Zen Center, that we are the ceremony. We inherit it, we shape it, and pass it on. And so I wanted to take a moment and talk about some of the different types of ancestry.

[12:13]

My formal teacher, who a couple of us in this room share, former abbot Renzo Ed Satterson, once pointed out a teaching that I have enjoyed. I've always been very appreciative of his science mind and connecting that with the Dharma. In one talk he was talking about basically that the vastness of what's going on is an unfolding of the cosmos. The carbon in each of us traces back to... countless dying stars. And I think what he had mentioned is that the kind of the carbon that you have in your left hand might be from one star and the hand on your right from another. And so this really means that our very being is a mosaic of stellar history. So we're not just linked to the human past.

[13:19]

We're expressions of universal ancestry. So what he kind of summarized from this, and it works for me when I am having a moment, that if we know and can remember that millions of stars contributed to forming us, we're quite literally held together by the universe. And if that's true, how could we not turn towards kindness in return? So to drive that home a little bit more, I invite you to take a meditative posture and just take a moment to imagine your body, not just as individual identities, but perhaps as layered expressions of lineage. You can say that the whole body, or even the greater body, is composed of everything the universe is has given to rise, whether that's matter, energy, time, space, consciousness.

[14:28]

It's a vast unfolding of becoming. And in this view, the body is not separate from the universe. It is the universe embodied. So you can imagine this further if maybe your body is the actual universe, You can almost imagine your arm as a cultural and bloodline ancestry and the hand as your present self, opening, perhaps offering to life, being the continuation of all that has come before you and an extension or bridge to what's yet to come. If you join us for... one day sit sometimes, but definitely sushin or come to noon service during a practice period. We chant from our lovely sutra books over there, something from Ehe Dogen, our 13th century founder of Soto Zen, and the Ehe Koso Hotsugamon.

[15:35]

And he says that Buddhas and ancestors of old were as we, we in the future... shall be Buddha's ancestors. And then further along, quietly explore the farthest reaches of these causes and conditions, as this practice is the exact transmission of a verified Buddha. So that brings me to the Sangha body. And Sangha body, y'all are or part of that body, or body right now, is a living form of ancestry. Suzuki Roshi, who's our founder, said that when we bow, we're bowing with the ancestors. When we sit, the ancestors sit with us. So in practicing together, it's important to remember that we're not alone, that this practice is actually bigger than any one of us.

[16:36]

This is a a sliver of the three marks of existence of non-self. And when we can actually turn our individual selves over to the practice, it's a form of connecting with all things. So we can do that in the smallest gestures, whether it's washing a disk, placing flowers on the altar, stepping mindfully through one of the doors, These are sacred acts of keeping lineage alive. We bow to and from our seats when we sit in the cushion. This is another example of that. And I didn't bring it with me, but the new book, I'm sure you all have heard a lot about now, Becoming Yourself, that's full of Suzuki Roshi teachings. He points to, I'm forgetting what chapter now, But when we take our seat in practice, the great sages are already here.

[17:39]

And he says, whether you're talking about Buddha, Bodhidharma, Jesus, that these are not remote figures that are locked in the past or confined to pages on a shelf. To quote the book, he says, even if we do not think of them, they are with us. They do not need our memory to exist. And so the ancestors are not only in the stories that we tell or that we recall, but they're in the simple act of us being ourselves. When we sit without chasing thoughts, when we bow with sincerity, the sages and ancestors are embodied in that very moment. And in this way, our practice is not about becoming Buddhist or Christian or any fixed identity. It's about realizing the truth that we are already a continuation of those who came before us, living their vow, carrying their strength, and embodying their warmth.

[18:47]

An ancestor warmth is not just about remembering our own families and cultures. It's also about honoring the truth that every person carries lineages, both visible and invisible, and that they all deserve recognition. For us to be in right relationship is not to just see only what shaped me, but also to recognize what shaped you. A quote from another ancestor, James Baldwin, wrote, You think your pain and your heartache are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. And I don't know if he directly meant it like this, but when I hear Baldwin urging us to remember that it means that our suffering and also our joy is never isolated, to read here is the same as to study ourselves. but also to study others and notice the ways that our lives are bound up together.

[19:56]

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I'm the inclusion and belonging director for the three temples. And this is something I have to kind of grapple with in angry emails from certain people claiming that my role, more or less, is teaching duality. But I'd argue the opposite, that... Inclusion and belonging work and Zen are not separate. They're both practices of recognition, honoring the ancestors that walk with us and forming respect for the ancestors who walk with others. Before I wrap up, I wanted to say a little bit more about transmission. For one, that it's not always formal, like these robes or... I forgot that that was there. There's a blue bug on me. But it happens in gestures, stories, and in offerings. Of course, like the walking stick or like the peach tree that Larry Ward's grandfather took care of.

[21:03]

But yeah, this stewarding is really anything that has been entrusted to us. Again, the Sangha body. is the ceremony. We inherit it, we shape it, and pass it on. So a couple of questions that I will leave you with this evening, and then we're going to have an early night because the bosses are away, the big timers. All right. So again, the question, what does it mean to be a good ancestor right now? Maybe it means witnessing others into their fullness. Maybe it means carrying warmth, not just in memory. Maybe it means tending to small acts of reverence, whether it's a dish, a peach, or a sangha, perhaps your heart.

[22:07]

Each moment we're shaping what we'll remember, adding our hands to the clay of the universe, continuing a ceremony that begun long before us and will continue after. I wanted to close again with the poem from Larry Ward. So take this in how you will. A Meditation on Ancestors. Relax into the working ground of your ancestors. Look within with a clear mind. Watch as memories, thoughts, fears, disappointments, anger, and wonder flow by. Breathe. Receive a spacious heart and let what is most vivid melt away into holy emptiness.

[23:11]

Hold on to nothing and yet embrace everything as you fall into the river of goodness hidden in your bones, flowing towards the ocean of strength, forgiveness, and grace. Should we do questions? Let's chant. We're chanting. Thank you. . [...]

[24:38]

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