How's that? Hello? Hello? Can you hear it? Anything? Not yet? Okay. Is that better? Yeah, I think that'll work. So thank you for showing up this morning. It's been a while since I've sat here and had a chance to wear this okesa, so I appreciate it very much. And I'm thinking of this talk this morning as an offering. an offering to you or an offering that we can make together. And offerings is something I've been thinking about somewhat lately and thought we could talk together this morning about what it is to make an offering.

[01:17]

So usually the first paramita, the first perfection, is described as a perfection of giving. making an offering is just the way I'm thinking about it is just a kind of a, maybe a variation on that. And it seems to me that that's really a very basic human need, something that we can't really live without or that our lives without making offerings, without giving to others would be very, um, very shallow, very poor, would feel lacking, kind of unhappy life. And growing up, I don't think I really learned this as a child. So in my family, gifts and presents were not really a big thing.

[02:25]

And it wasn't a question of not being able to afford it. We got presents for birthdays and for Hanukkah, but it wasn't a big deal. I think maybe partly because my parents were kind of anti-American culture in general. And that's kind of the feeling I absorbed. you know, like Christmas was a commercial holiday, so we didn't do that. And, you know, Mother's Day was started by Hallmark cards, so we definitely were not going to, you know, we were just too smart, I guess, to participate in that. Sort of that kind of attitude, which, you know, has something to say for it, but on the other hand, I think it's really a gift to children to start teaching them how to give to others, and we really didn't have that.

[03:37]

So one concept that I did kind of absorb from my family growing up was the that one should try to make the world a better place, to fight against injustice and so forth. And this is, you know, this sounds really, really good. And I think sometimes I hear people talk about wanting to practice meditation in order to become a better person. or to make the world a better place. But this is kind of theoretical. And I think it also can be kind of problematic because we don't really know whether our actions are going to be beneficial or not. And certainly there's, you know, looking at world history, one can see many things that people have done

[04:48]

thought were good at the time, but turned out to be disastrous for others. And also I think it sets up the scenario or the illusion, which I certainly believed myself as a young person, that in general the timeline or the scope of history was always tending upward and better, that, you know, human progress was inevitable and that things were always getting better. And, you know, I think maybe this is partly kind of the time period when I grew up, you know, after the war and after the depression. In one sense, for a lot of people, things were getting better. But I think that belief also can tend to the attitude that what's better is the future, that what's happening right now is not so good, but the future is better.

[06:09]

And of course, the future never comes. You know, we never... We never get to live in the future. We only get to live right now. So I think the idea that we can make things better can be kind of a problem. And so, you know, maybe that what I'm saying might seem a little tricky or it might... it might seem like an attitude of, well, one should just accept injustice or accept problems. And that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying that if someone's foot is on my neck, I should leave it there. But I'm suggesting more kind of attitude or scenario of a foot is on my neck,

[07:10]

And by fully exerting my devotion, my love, my creativity, my whole life force, together with the universe, that foot is removed. So this is my offering to that foot, my offering to the world. It's not a question of this is bad and I'm going to make it better. but rather we're making an offering with the attitude of no separation between myself and my foot and others. So I think that's my feeling about Zen practice, that that's how we practice together without trying to accomplish anything. So if we think that we can make the world a better place, I wonder, is the world a better place now than it was in Dogen Zenji's time?

[08:37]

So there's been over eight centuries of Zen practice. Has that improved the world? Obviously, in some ways, we have a lot more to eat. Some people have more to eat. Some people have modern medicine and sewage systems and things like that. And of course, on the other hand, we're destroying the planet. polluting the air, killing off thousands of species of plants and animals. So I don't think it's helpful to try to measure the question of better or not. I just don't even think there's a scale on which we can do that. I think the point of our practice is not to try to make things better, but to just make the vow for each of us to make a vow to live our life for the benefit of others offering up each action.

[09:44]

And this is our, we actually take this vow all the time. This is our bodhisattva vow, beings are numberless. I vow to save them. We don't know how that happens. We can't measure it. We just constantly vow over and over. So on one dimension, each of us will make our offerings differently. So we all have different abilities, inclinations, interests. One person might be a good cook and their vow is to offer good food, nourishing food to others. Someone else might be sweeping the path or being a musician. The question is, are we doing this? with the heart and mind of offering our efforts to the universe. I often hear the question of how is cooking at Green Gulch or how is farming or washing dishes here at Green Gulch different than say if you went out and had the same job at a restaurant.

[10:58]

So is this Zen practice and that isn't? What's the difference? And I think Zen is not something that we kind of paste on top of our daily work and activities. But each of us has to really question for ourselves how that happens in our daily work. Some people say, actually I think I've heard our dear abbess say that the basis of Zen practice is love. And I've kind of always wondered about that. Recently, I heard a tape of Linda Ronstadt singing. Some of you may know her music. She was a wonderful singer. Her just totally angelic voice with incredible power and energy.

[11:59]

She really put her whole being into her singing. She wasn't a songwriter. She didn't write her own songs, but... somehow she could take other people's songs, songs that perhaps already had been a really big hit, and then kind of remake them into her own song. And she did this a number of times, making really great songs into incredible hits. And Dolly Parton, who should know about these things, said of her that she could do this because of her love for the music. And I thought that was really interesting. So she respected Linda Ronson's beautiful voice and her technical ability and her training, her experience. But she said that it was her deep love and devotion to the music.

[13:00]

that enabled her to become such an incredible singer. And in an interview, Linda said that sometimes she would hear a song and feel that she absolutely had to sing it. So it wasn't like making a decision or something she wanted exactly, but something that she felt as an actual necessity for her life. And I think that... I kind of wonder if you feel the same way about Zen practice, that it's a necessity for your life, a way to express your particular unique life force, your particular unique love and devotion.

[14:01]

Suzuki Roshi, of course, famously said that we should not have gaining ideas, that our actions shouldn't be with the intention of accomplishing something. And so we say, just completely devote yourself to what you're doing, whether it's chopping vegetables, sweeping the walk, weeding in the fields, You know, that this is Zen practice, but how do we learn to do this, I think? You know, what is the training? It's easy to say that, but how do we train in doing that? And I think that one way that we train in making our whole life an offering to others is by doing what we call, we might call kind of useless offerings. And... Useless is the first word that came to mind for me, but it may not be the best word.

[15:08]

Basically, I just mean non-goal-oriented practices, practices that don't yield a tangible result. At the end, there's no meal that you can give to someone. There isn't a basket of leaves that you have swept up. Maybe one example of that would be Dogen says we can offer flowers on the distant hillside to someone. So that's kind of my favorite, just the idea of offering the flowers on the distant hillside to someone. Nobody knows. It's just your pure intention. We also have forms that have a little bit more form in the form, such as bowing in the zendo and offering incense.

[16:12]

So these are our traditional forms of Zen practice that have been handed down to us over the centuries. And I see these forms as a kind of framework an invitation to move our body in a certain way. So we may be given some instruction about how to hold our fingers, how to hold our hand, and these are not, you know, it can be, these forms can be mistaken for doing something the right or the wrong way, but I think it's helpful to notice that different lineages of Zen have different ways of doing these things. So usually it's not a question of right or wrong, but simply, well, how does your teacher do it?

[17:15]

How did your teacher's teacher do it? So the way we try to do it isn't the right way, but the way that's been passed down to us. from our teacher, an opportunity to notice how we're holding our hand, how we're holding our body, where our feet are placed, what our mind is doing. So this kind of useless activity is how we train and doing activities that have more tangible So we could say that, in a sense, offering incense does have a function in our practice, kind of a non-tangible function. It's a vehicle to express our devotion, our appreciation.

[18:20]

way of expressing things that might be difficult to express verbally or to bring up those feelings of appreciation that we might not even have noticed that we had beforehand. So when the doshi offers incense, they're making that offering on behalf of everyone. The whole assembly is offering incense. And all of our actions in the zendo can be like that. So just walking into the zendo, when you put your hands in shashu, is that your offering to the sangha? Can you walk in a way that expresses your gratitude, your appreciation for this practice place? just in walking to your seat.

[19:20]

So this is not exactly for the benefit of anyone else. This is just you expressing your life as you walk, and that will be an offering to everyone. Many of you, I think, know that I practice the way of tea, and one of the things that I appreciate about tea is that it's actually a practice of making offerings, and it includes both material and immaterial, visible and invisible offerings. So everything that the host does is done as an offering. Actually, the majority of what, excuse me, what a tea practitioner does, the guest, may not even be aware of. Basically, this is maybe kind of a secret.

[20:25]

The main practice of tea is cleaning. Cleaning the tea room before and after. So think, you know, usually one thinks of making tea as a kind of ritual process of making and serving tea. And obviously that happens. But what about the hours of cleaning and preparation beforehand that nobody sees? That's also an offering. Picking flowers and arranging them in the tokenoma, the alcove. Placing a scroll. Selecting the utensils. This is all part of the host's offering to the guests. So the tea gathering itself includes both the ordinary, mundane, simply serving food and something to drink for the guest, and the kind of pure offerings of having placed the flowers, placing incense to purify the air.

[21:41]

And then there are purifications in the tea gathering of, for example, purifying the tea container and the tea scoop before they're used. So, obviously, these movements are not practical. The utensils are all absolutely clean before they're brought into the tea room, but they're purified as an expression of the, simply... Yeah, it's just simply an expression of the host's intention and a way of bringing the host and the guests together through their breathing together. So I think this is very kind of maybe analogous to our bowing together in the zendo. When we all bow together, when the doji offers incense,

[22:46]

This is kind of how that same process is enacted in the tea room. There's a well-known writing on tea, probably written in the early 1800s, called the Zen Cha Roku, or the Zen Tea Record, which says, the original significance of Cha No Yu, Cha No Yu is... literally means hot water for tea, but can refer to the whole, the practice of tea. The original significance of Cha No Yu lies not in appraising the quality of utensils, but solely in practice, entering the samadhi of handling utensils and discerning one's original nature. To seek self-nature through adopting the forms of Chanoyu is none other than samadhi, in which tea utensils are treated with one mind.

[23:58]

If you are to take up the tea scoop, immerse your heart and mind fully in it alone, and give no thought whatever to other matters. This is to treat it first and last. When replacing it, do so conveying your heart and mind to it from their depths as in the beginning. Such treatment is not restricted to the tea scoop. It applies to all the implements that you handle. When in putting down a utensil, you release it, and withdraw your hand, do so without in the slightest dismissing it from your awareness, and shift the mind just as it is to the next utensil to be treated. So I would say that this is the same as our practice in the zendo.

[25:04]

Of course, picking up the tea scoop with the mind of samadhi is tea scoop is quite small. It's very small and light. So often one picks it up rather carelessly, rather easily. It's not difficult to pick up. So this is a challenge, an opportunity to pick it up with the mind of samadhi. And I wonder about picking up the zafu. When we enter the zendo and bow to our seat, do we feel like we're already sitting zazen, or does that wait? Can we pick up the zafu and place it carefully with the mind of samadhi? And what about after zazen, when you get up and straighten your seat? Is this still zazen, or are you done?

[26:08]

at that point. These are the challenges of our practice. Often watching people in the tea room, I noticed that having done one action, that the eyes flicker very slightly to the next thing that the person is going to do. So rather than being completely aware of what they're actually doing, they're already thinking about the next thing. And I think this is partly a lack of self-confidence of worrying about making a mistake, not really knowing what to do next, so we're already planning ahead.

[27:15]

So our training is to come back again and again, just noticing that's anxiety, bringing our awareness just to what we're doing, to accept that what I'm doing right now is actually the most important thing. So the most important thing isn't getting it right. It's what's happening right now. In the Shobogenzo fascicle, Kajo, everyday activity, Dogen Zenji says, my teacher, the old Buddha, Rujing, once said to the monks, according to an ancient koan, a monk once asked by John, what is an extraordinary thing? Or what is the very best thing of all? And Bai Zhang answered, sitting alone on Great Hero Peak.

[28:19]

And then Dogen says, if someone were to ask me right now, what is the very best thing? What is the most extraordinary thing? I would say there is something very excellent, and that is eating rice. with the begging bowl. Doing zazen on Great Hero Peak is the same as eating rice and drinking tea. I love it when Dogen talks about drinking tea. This is always very helpful to me. So my understanding of these lines are that each thing that we do is important just as it is, completely as an offering. So when we don't try to get anything out of it, that is our Zaza. That is sitting alone on Great Hero Peak.

[29:20]

There isn't some other time, some other place, when something extraordinary is going to happen. The important thing is what's happening right now. So I have some other things I could say, but I think at this point maybe I'd be more interested in inviting you to join in the conversation and wondering if you see your life as an offering, if you think that that's a helpful concept. Does it have some meaning for you? Yes.

[30:23]

Yeah, the important thing is to notice it. Because usually the person hasn't noticed it. It's like they're putting something down here and they're starting to look over here because that's going to be the next thing. And so already they're kind of divided. It's like... Their attention is divided. I think usually people find it interesting to have that pointed out because I think we want to have undivided attention. I think there's a deep satisfaction in that, you know, a feeling of wholeness when we completely put ourselves into what we're doing.

[32:18]

And so I think there's a kind of relief when that's pointed out. And yeah, so that's just becoming aware of that is, yeah, that's how we train. I think for me, maybe we don't always want to have feedback about what we're doing, and you've probably all experienced that. Sometimes someone can tell you something and it's really helpful, and some other times, no, you actually don't want to hear it, either because you disagree or because you may be too overwhelmed. with other things. You just can't take it in. And I've certainly felt that way at times in the tea room, you know, like maybe knowing I'm making some mistakes, but like, I don't want to hear it right now.

[33:24]

You know, it's like, it's just too much. I'm maybe too nervous. I couldn't take it in. But other times it's, you know, it's kind of like, like a drink of water when you're thirsty. When I was in a tea class once, my teacher said to me that I had, I think, I put the chashaku down and kind of withdrawn my hand as if I didn't care about it. And it just penetrated me really deeply.

[34:28]

It was almost as if, it was kind of like I'd been slapped. or as if like I had slapped myself in a way, but in a good way. And so even though it was painful, but it was also, it was a gift that she was offering to me of the possibility of actually doing that action wholeheartedly rather than kind of in a rush or not paying attention. So I think sometimes that feedback can be painful but doesn't mean that it's bad or not helpful.

[35:33]

But it's, I think we sometimes don't do what we really want to do out of fear. So it can be out of not fully being able to take our place in the world. you know, kind of like maybe at that point I may also have been feeling well, kind of like I did this tea and these people had to sit through it, now I should just get out of here, you know, rather than really, yes, I have the right to be here, kind of. So it's like this sitting alone on Great Hero Peak. It's like you're fully, you fully have, you know, All human beings have the right to just fully be in their bodies, in their place, in the world.

[36:44]

And it can be a little scary to actually own that, to take that place. I don't know if that... answered what you, but thank you. Any other comments, questions, things you'd like to bring up? Yes. don't really know what it is that would quote unquote save all beings.

[38:17]

And I think that to the extent that we might think we know the answer to that, that generally is problematic. You know, people who think they know what's best for others or for the world often do quite destructive things. So I think that offering ourself is ultimately the way that we have. to the extent that you offer yourself that helps other people to then make that kind of offering.

[39:28]

So just to be willing to put yourself there. So another story I wanted to tell was there's a There's a famous story about a famous tea master who's invited to a tea gathering. And it's in the winter, so there's a sunken hearth, which is filled with ash and a kettle hanging over the fire to boil water. And the host, who is a woman, is going to lay the fire. So there's some... charcoal burning and she's going to she's brought in a basket of charcoal and she's going to add charcoal to the fire and in order to do that she has to take the kettle off and in taking it off or maybe when it was when she was putting it back on I don't know she drops it and so this is this is you know making a mess kind of you know ashes flying up and

[40:37]

maybe embers and I don't know, maybe some water spilled. Basically, this is kind of like maybe one of the worst things that could happen in the tea room. I've experienced many difficulties. Luckily, not that one. Anyway, so in front of this important guest, she commits this horrendous blunder. And most people in that situation would get rather flustered, I think, to say the least, would be embarrassed and ashamed and apologetic and so forth. And the story is that she just completely calmly took care of the situation, put the kettle back on, and continued with the tea.

[41:44]

That she didn't make it into a disaster. That she just kept going with whatever was necessary to complete building the fire and making tea. And later, the guest, this important tea master, rather than criticizing her, said that it was the best tea gathering that he had ever attended and praised this woman, praised the host, for her warm heart. So I think that that's... That's how, you know, that's how we fulfill our vow to save all beings, by expressing our warm heart.

[42:47]

And, like, again, I think most people in that situation would be fearful of the consequences, basically. You know, that we get embarrassed and defensive and... Because we're worried, oh, what are these people going to think of me? And, you know, like we're thinking about our self-image and our fame and, you know, our identity. You know, it's like, okay, my reputation as a tea master is definitely dead now, you know, having done this. I think, you know, a lot of people would think that. But... But she evidently wasn't concerned with that. And so just simply her warm-hearted offering towards her guests was what was really remembered and appreciated.

[43:52]

Because after all, what is a tea gathering? It's a relationship between people. You know, the tea is kind of an excuse to... come together in a little space. So I think I really, I love that story. It's really, she's my hero. Anything else? Yes, you can. hold a lot of weeds in your life, Yuki.

[45:14]

So maybe that's the answer. Thank you. We join everyone in hell. Maybe. I think that... It isn't necessary to... I mean, of course, when we're weeding, we may have some ideas about, I'm making this a beautiful place. Like this garden is really overgrown, and these weeds are unsightly, and maybe they're not even natives, so they really are bad. It's like Cape Ivy. They really don't belong here and I definitely have a right to take them out. But to add on top of that, well, I'm taking it out and then it's gonna be more beautiful when I'm done and everyone should come and appreciate and see how beautiful it is, then we're already kind of lost at that point.

[46:36]

I think I would just stick with taking this weed out is my offering. And I would just stop at that. Well, yeah, it's a problem. It's like, how do we crop vegetables? to eat so when we eat food we're eating other life forms you know so I think it's really important before we eat that we thank them and I don't know if it's a problem for the broccoli that it gets cut and eaten you know

[47:43]

You know, so you can describe it as killing, but it's also, it's just, it's part of the cycle of life. You know, a plant is, a seed is planted, and it grows, and then it dies. And we give thanks and express our gratitude. So, you know, we... We constantly chant all my ancient twisted karma from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion born through body, speech, and mind, I now fully avow. I find that, I think I'm so grateful that we do that that chanting so that we over and over again acknowledge that our lives are dependent on the lives and death of others.

[48:57]

So our lives are dependent on other human lives and on the life and death of various other plant and life forms. And we we should be aware of that and express our gratitude for it. Goodbye to the kitchen.

[50:23]

Thank you for providing lunch for us. Not to mention breakfast and dinner. So Shinda's question is, how is Zen training different from military training? I don't know what... I've never done military training, so I don't know what kind of attitude exactly is taught to the trainees, but that's why I think it's really important in our practice to make each thing that we do an offering to others that's done with love.

[51:40]

So I don't think that... My guess is that military training is not training in love, devotion, and respect for others. So some of it may look similar, so there may be some emphasis on you know, like you're supposed to be at a certain place at a certain time. And I think the... In Zen training, the point of that is to study yourself. You know, the whole objective, it's kind of a setup.

[52:42]

So Dogen Zenji said, to study the Buddha way is to study the self. So how do we study the self? Well, we can study the self, for example. We come to the Zendo and it turns out, oh, the door is just closing. I'm a little bit late. So now what? What is that? Does that help me look back at myself and say, what was I doing 10 minutes ago? What was I doing when I first heard the Han for Zazen? So the point isn't just to be in the Zendo on time. The point of being in the Zendo on time, that's a gift. It's a gift from the Tenken to us to help us do what we already wanted to do, and if we can't quite do it, or even if we can do it, to look at ourself and see what's happening.

[53:53]

So to study the self in order to forget the self and to realize our relationship with all beings. You know, I got in a plug for coming to the Zendouan time. You're welcome. Okay, maybe that's, are we good for today?

[54:28]

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