Interesting. people. Thank you.

[10:22]

Good evening, everyone. Welcome. My name is Eli. Welcome to all of you that are here with me in the City Center Zendo. Special welcome to all of you joining us online, both now and in the future. I'm very glad we're all here together. Big thanks to my big brother in the Dharma, Tim, for inviting me to give this talk, as well as the abbots for inviting me. to co-lead this practice period. And as I mentioned currently this week, we welcome in the fall practice period, which I'm co-leading with Tim Wicks, our Tonto, and our beloved Tova Green. And whether or not you're signed up for the practice period, I just want to put forth that over the next eight weeks or so, a lot of the talks, especially on Wednesday night, will be dedicated towards this practice of welcoming our practice, especially through the 10 ox-herding pitchers.

[11:37]

And it's also quite an auspicious time for us in the City Center Sangha as we're going to be taking up welcoming as we approach ourselves in the new year with a newly remodeled temple. And just... in that spirit. And I'm also the director of diversity, inclusion, and belonging. And over the years, I've seen how important it is to create spaces that invite people to be seen, heard, and included. And so as we reopen, I wholeheartedly invite all of you to partake in that endeavor. And just as we create a welcoming space for others, a zendo that invites stillness, a home that feels safe, our inner practice is something that also mirrors this. And as we create this internal, or excuse me, as we create this space where whatever arises feels welcome and honored with no judgment, I'd like to talk a little bit about how we can do that in our own practice and personal life.

[12:47]

So as we begin this practice period, I don't only just wanna offer you a warm welcome, in greeting, but also as an introduction to the theme of what we'll be studying this practice period, which I didn't bring with me. But it's a great book, Welcoming Beginner's Mind, by a practitioner, an authorized teacher in the Tibetan lineage, Dr. Galen Ferguson. And this book, as you can see in the title, is deeply influenced by Suzuki Roshi's teachings on beginner's mind. So Ferguson's teaching of welcoming builds on this foundation that beginner's mind expresses of an open and receptive state that is the foundation of our Zen practice. It's a practice that touches everything from the pleasant to the difficult. and invites us to fully engage with our practice and our lives.

[13:53]

Ferguson expresses that welcoming is not just something that we create, but it's something that is already here. And this is a very important point that Suzuki Roshi really emphasizes too. It's already here. And by practicing, we're just uncovering that natural, compassionate stance that we're all born with. We chose welcoming as a way to engage with our practice because welcoming is our true nature, as Suzuki Roshi expresses with beginner's mind. Something that I appreciate about Galen's holding is that he does incorporate science and mentions, and science does prove that we are hardwired for compassion and kindness as human beings. So this practice is really about turning to that original innate capacity. And so what I'm going to try to do tonight is gear us towards actually partaking in this welcoming exercise.

[14:58]

And I'll kind of do that by maybe some metaphor and really trying to kind of reframe our practice experience through this practice of welcoming. So a couple of weeks ago, or maybe it was about a month, you may have been around the abbot of Green Gulch, Jerry, who gave a remarkable talk about welcoming, which I highly recommend that you check out. One of the kind of underlying pieces that stood out for me was he spoke about welcoming and said that his... practice or his kind of role as an abbot is really just meeting with students and trying to encourage them to welcome what's arising. So in a sense, this practice of Zen could be seen as a practice of welcoming. In addition, you may have remembered I gave a talk a few weeks ago, I think two to be exact, talking about the importance of proper translations and how things have kind of went from country to country, century to century, and lost a little shape.

[16:12]

So we talked about Shikintaza or just sitting. We talked about enlightenment, to name a few. So with this... position that Jiryu brings that our practice is one of welcoming and also speaking towards this need for proper translations. I wanted to revisit one of the most popular stories in Zen with this new translation. You may have heard of it before. And if you're new, it's a great story. So as the Buddha sat beneath the Bodhi tree, determined to awaken, Mara the personification of distractions and temptation appeared. Mara sent fear, desire, doubt to unseat the Buddha. But the Buddha didn't resist. He welcomed everything Mara threw at him. He didn't push away fear. He didn't grasp at desire. And he didn't avoid doubt.

[17:15]

He welcomed it all as part of the human experience. Finally, the Buddha touched the ground and said, the earth is my witness. And this act of touching the earth was the Buddha's ultimate gesture of welcoming. And he wasn't fighting with Mara, but acknowledging that everything that Mara represented was already a part of the world, a part of life. By welcoming it, the Buddha transformed his relationship to suffering and distractions. So this story at its heart is one of welcoming. And again, it's not about making everything feel pleasant or resisting the difficult. Instead, it's about meeting everything, both joy, suffering, with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. The message is we inherently belong, and we are inherently welcome. And these teachings also remind us that the mind moves from past to future, from future to past, but it's our bodies that are grounded here in the present moment where we always exist.

[18:29]

So I thought I would speak to this welcoming practice through a metaphor that I was kind of thinking about that might help us prepare for our exercise. So who has ever heard of the term Your body is a temple. Probably most of you. Okay. So I've always been somewhat fond of it or fond of it. And in looking around, I realized that it actually has origins in Christianity teachings. And it emphasizes that the body is a vessel for the Holy Spirit, kind of demanding purity and devotion. And over time, I think most of us maybe have encountered it as a saying that focuses on health and wellness, suggesting that the body is this vessel or kind of container that houses the mind or the self or I. And I feel that these views are helpful, but wanted to bring it in from a Zen approach and message that the body is not simply a container, it is the temple itself.

[19:40]

And you might ask, if I don't live in the temple, who lives there? So the body is a temple and awareness is the host. And within this temple, awareness is the true host. So you can close your eyes to try to maybe imagine this a little bit more or leave them open, up to you. But if you can imagine your body as a vast open temple grounded in the present moment, awareness greeting every visitor, or actually, I guess I should say maybe every seeker. Galen in the book, And his book likes to point out the fact is when we actually stop and sit still and quiet ourselves, very quickly you'll see the seekers come forth and that we have a mind that is constantly seeking for something or to get away for something, something to change. And so, again, your awareness can greet these seekers that come to visit your thoughts, your emotions. sensations, will all come, stay, but eventually will leave.

[20:45]

And the host does not cling to these visitors, simply just watches them arise and pass. And this is the heart of welcoming, letting everything come and go without judgment or attachment. And in Zazen, we practice exactly like this. We sit with our breath, welcoming whatever arises, knowing that it's part of the present moment. The body as a temple holds space while the awareness remains steady. And in turning this with my beloved teacher, Ed, a little bit further, he pushed me to go a little bit deeper with my simple understanding. And the truth of it is, is as we engage with our body and awareness, we stop experiencing the body as something separate from the world around us. The boundaries between self and other soften or... maybe disappear. The rustling of leaves, passing of cars, the city sounds are not outside of the temple.

[21:52]

They are part of it. Awareness expands beyond the body to include everything. And Zen teaches that the body and mind can drop away. So the body, the temple, is not an isolated part of everything. The host awareness is not separate. It's inseparable from the whole of reality. So in Zazen, we drop the distinction between our inner and outer, realizing our body, mind, are all phenomena of one. This is the essence of welcoming. Not just welcoming thoughts and feelings, but the interconnectedness of all things. It's a way of living in harmony with the dynamic, ever-changing nature of existence itself.

[22:57]

So we can think of our body as a temple, awareness as the host within, greeting every experience that comes to the door. So now I want to switch that we've talked about kind of the body. I wanted to use a metaphor that was passed on to me by one of the students I work with, Naomi, if you're out there. And she offered a teaching by Chungpa Rinpoche, which is actually interesting because this book was written by one of his students, Galen, and he emphasized the teaching of Suzuki Roshi. So I wanted to bring in his teacher's analogy to support this as well. And so Rinpoche uses the analogy that a screen represents the external world, so the phenomenal world. And this is different than Suzuki Roshi's version of a movie screen, so I can put that to the side for a moment.

[24:00]

But the screen represents the external world, the film or the playing, the mechanics, the flickering, ever-changing thoughts, emotions, and perceptions that we project onto the screen. So I'm projecting that's Kevin and that's Choku and their wonderful robe. But behind that projection and the phenomena is a bright bulb. a steady, brilliant light that illuminates everything. And this bulb does not change or react to images flashing across the screen. It just simply shines its light, allowing projections to be seen. And he likens this to a Sanskrit word that I'm not familiar with, so I may be saying it wrong, but alaya, or fundamental consciousness. And this is otherwise could be known as basic clear mind. And it's steady, unaffected by the transient nature of thoughts. And it serves as the foundation for perception.

[25:02]

And he explains resting in that place is akin to this deeper awareness, which can be experienced when we just sit with what is. And of course, he cautions against becoming too attached to the alaya as an ultimate goal. as we should not be attached to some type of meditation, as it's only a step towards the realization of bodhicitta or the awakened heart-mind. So I guess the suggestion is when you sit in that capacity, you experience your ultimate bodhicitta at that level. So in our practice of Zazen, or welcoming, we can think of this bulb as our awareness, the light that shines on all experiences without judgment or attachment. It doesn't try to change the images or cling to them. It simply illuminates them as they come and go, in the same way we welcome our thoughts and emotions, in the same way without trying to control or push them away.

[26:15]

So welcoming is about letting this light of awareness to shine on whatever arises, joy, suffering, fear, or doubt without getting caught in it. And this light remains steady regardless of the content that comes on the screen. And so too does our awareness remain steady as we welcome each moment without resistance. And in this way, we can welcome each passing thought not as something to fix or solve, but something to be illuminated and understood. All right, so before we get to the exercise, I did want to mention one more aspect that is kind of brought up again and again that Galen touches on and some of us will be familiar with. So it's clear that this welcoming practice isn't just about what's happening on the outside.

[27:24]

It's really about how we're meeting our actual experience within. And often we resist ourselves, whether that be difficult emotions, discomfort, or I know for me even sometimes joy can feel too intense. And it's not the joy maybe I have a problem with, but it's the realization that it will change, fade, or disappear. And in Zazen, we learn to welcome all of it. And in order to do that, we have to drop our expectations that we bring into practice. And this is very fundamental, Galen expresses, to keeping a state of being welcome. And that's not to have a gaining mind. And if you're not familiar with that term, not having a gaining mind... basically means that we're not practicing with the goal of becoming something better. Galen often likes to say, we're not trying to be the 2.0 version of ourselves. And we don't want to create that separation between who we are and who we think we should be.

[28:31]

Suzuki Roshi called this an absolute waste of time. He didn't say absolute. I added that, but he did call it a waste of time. He taught that true practice is about being fully present with what is right now without striving for it to be different. He talks about gaining mind throughout a lot of his work, but particularly in a chapter in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, which is a classic in the chapter, Traditional Zen Spirit. And he reminds us in that, that Bodhidharma says practice gained, or excuse me, practice-based meditation on a gaining idea is just a repetition of our karma. Again, so practice based on a gaining idea is just a repetition of our karma. So if we sit trying to expect something or gain something, we reinforce our ego and our attachments to things. And by letting go, like a hand opening, we can truly drop the expectation and welcome what's in front of us.

[29:36]

So this is what Suzuki meant when he said, if you're trying to attain enlightenment, you're wasting your time on your black cushion. He taught us many important things, but one of them was to sit with sincerity in the present moment without trying to achieve anything. Our ancestors taught us that enlightenment is not something that we gain after years of practice and effort. but instead it's something that we realize when we fully welcome our experience just as it's showing up. When we reinforce the idea that something needs to be different, we're really telling ourselves that things are not complete as they are and right now is not enough. So there's no need to push away the difficult parts or cling to what feels good. Simply just welcome it all. So now I wanted to go ahead and do the welcoming exercise now that we've pointed at it from many different ways.

[30:41]

So I welcome you to take a posture that feels suited. Obviously, when you go off into your practice life and do this on your own, there won't be any guides to it. But I thought that it would be helpful if I just kind of prefaced the sit with with some words that Galen offered or teachings. And then the exercise he suggests is just doing for three minutes. So after I kind of walk us in, I'll just be quiet for a couple of minutes and allow you to experience what's being experienced. So you can go ahead and take a posture. And again, the basic instruction is to simply sit and experience whatever arises, thoughts, feelings, or sensations. Whether you like what comes up or not, there's no goal or target. Just approach this exercise with curiosity about your moment-to-moment experience.

[31:48]

You can trust whatever arises, or trust and taste whatever arises, be it hot, cold, happy, sad, restless, or contented. Very important point in this welcoming exercise. Remind yourself that this is not meditation. And if Galen was here now, I promise you he would say, say it out loud, this is not meditating. Thank you. Do not try to achieve or attain anything. This exercise is about... being present and welcoming whatever is coming up. Our own true nature is welcoming. This is an exercise to help you to return to that innate state. We're exploring welcoming itself by allowing it to happen. Again, by allowing it to happen, not by training or focusing on any specific object.

[32:52]

And whether you're a film projector, a temple, Galen offers the analogy of a spacious meadow. Think of your mind as a place where all thoughts and feelings are welcome, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. And then lastly, a couple of questions that seem to have came up as he's been offering this practice. One, what if I start meditating? Just recognize it, pause, and return to welcoming without deliberate effort. So a slight nuance from Zazen practice where we're kind of deliberately connecting back to the body or the breath. You're just letting the meditation go like you're opening your palm and just return to welcoming. What if I make mental lists? Notice it, welcoming it, or welcome it, and then let go of the planning. What if I space out?

[33:55]

Describe what spacing out feels like without judging it. Welcome the experience as it is. So now, go ahead and take three minutes and welcome yourself. So as you come out of the exercise, take a moment to reflect just what came up for you.

[37:18]

Did you notice any resistance to welcoming certain things? How did it feel to just allow everything to be as it is? I noticed I put my hands in to the universal mudra, and I should have said he suggests just putting our hands in our lap to avoid going to our traditional meditative practices. So I hope that that gave you somewhat of a glimpse of this exercise. How am I doing for time? I wanted to go into this whole thing. I love science in many ways. We're going to skip that. I think I need to wrap it up, and I am known for trying to cram too much, but I can't help my greedy little self. So I wanted to take a moment before closing just to talk about welcoming change and suffering. So as we've been saying in this practice, it's not just the pleasurable stuff that we're welcoming, but it's also change, impermanence, and suffering.

[38:25]

And welcoming, again, doesn't mean that we seek it out to get in there, but it does say that we hold it with curiosity and tenderness. Zazen teaches us that everything is constantly changing, our thoughts, our emotions, and our bodies. And by welcoming change, we sit with the discomfort of impermanence and begin to see it as an essential part of life rather than something to resist. Like teachers have taught us, welcoming is innate. And I saw this firsthand a little over a week ago. So most of you know, I have a seven-year-old daughter named Maya. And yeah, a few weeks ago, Maya encountered her first loss of a pet. Well, that's not true. She lost some fish before, but she doesn't, anyway, they were just fish. They didn't have names or anything. But our beloved little dwarf hamster, Hammy, who we'd only gotten a

[39:33]

three months ago. These things are supposed to live two, three years. You know, we got a nice enclosure that takes up half of my, or habitat that takes up half of my kitchen. We were sitting at dinner after coming back from an overnight camping trip, and Hammy has this little kind of cage, not cage, but a little house inside the habitat that has a hole, like a little doghouse. And Maya's like, Hammy's sitting in her house and just completely still. Hammy never sits still. It's the most hyper little thing that just runs constantly. And so I think she knew what had happened. I knew what had happened. And so she instantly just ejected out of the room, stopped dinner, didn't want to come back in. So I went and checked. Hammy had passed. I let her know. And she just instantly wanted to talk about the next pet or sibling. That's her other thing. And so You know, I'm trying to console her, trying to just tell her it's okay.

[40:34]

We can have a ceremony for Hammy. No, no, I don't want to do that. And I'm like, gosh. So next day comes and we do make it over to the park across the street, Koshlin. And she still just can't, doesn't want to really like look at it or be with it. And so I'm, you know, digging a hole and I'm about to put Hammy in. And I look at Hammy and it's very cute. Hammy just sit in there. And so I'm like, Maya, you know, Hammy looks kind of sweet. You know, you might want to say goodbye. And she's still resisting. And I put my hand on her back and I see her look over. She takes a big breath. And looks at Hammy. Takes another breath. And then asks for the spoon or the little shovel we're using. Finished Hammy's hole. put hammy in. And I'm like, wow, that's welcoming.

[41:36]

And so we carefully put dirt over hammy. And you can go see it's a little blue box over in the garden. It's probably there if you want to pay your respects. But as we conclude, I just want to invite you to carry this spirit of welcoming into your practice in daily life. Galen suggested or told about that when he started this practice, he's in academia as well as being a person of the Dharma. And they would have staff meetings and do this as a practice before the meeting. The practice leaders and priests here have been meeting every Friday to learn about transference. And at the beginning of that class, the instructor doesn't have us do the welcome exercise, but Marcia does have us invite all the pieces of ourselves, of our being to just come forth and just be. And so I've started to do this before difficult conversations, when I wake up, before I turn on my computer.

[42:39]

And I encourage you to just try it throughout your day. And of course, at the beginning of your sitting practice. And of course, whether we're facing the results of this unknown election in a couple of weeks, war, a conversation with somebody we're not getting along with, a crying baby on the plane, whether it's discomfort, uncertainty, or joy, can you touch the earth? Can you welcome whatever is with openness, a temple ready to welcome all its visitors? whoever is seeking, awareness, greeting all that come with agasho. I'll close with Suzuki Roshi's words. The most important thing is to express your true nature in the simplest, most adequate way and appreciate it in the smallest existence. So we're not trying to practice to become something else.

[43:40]

We're practicing to meet ourselves exactly as we are in this moment. Welcome. I think we have time for one or maybe two. We have about six or seven minutes for questions. If anybody has a question, please raise your hand, and I'll bring the microphone over. Thank you so much for the talk. It was really lovely. I have to say, as a physicist myself, I feel a little cheated that you mentioned science and then didn't bring it back in. So I'd love to hear even just a quick summary of what you wanted to talk about.

[44:41]

Okay, very quickly. probably not the science that you want. I mean, it's, okay. So anyways, what I wanted to share is anybody, does anyone watch that? It's a show on, not HBO, on Apple shrinking. No, no, no. Okay. So I won't go there. So anyways, it's a show about therapy and on it, a therapist was working with somebody and they tried this, this technique called, I think it's reversal of desires. I might not be saying that right. It's in here. And I was like, wow, that sounds really interesting. Basically, what he was having the person do is, instead of kind of mitigating their pain, is just gradually face it and kind of confront it. And the thought is that it would lower it. So I'm like, oh, okay, is this a real technique? I looked it up, and it actually is. It was developed by another kind of TV show I saw. I don't know if anybody on Netflix watched Stutz. It's a documentary about Jonah Hill's therapist. So it turns out that he had actually...

[45:43]

created this method and basically just turning towards our pain gradually is a way to actually lessen it. And that when we avoid pain, it tends to actually amplify. And so it really just reminded me of this practice or why sitting with our experience, no matter what it is... gives us an actual bandwidth to be with our life. And so it's not quite, it's, you know, science realm, but it's pretty fascinating how much both that type of science and neurological studies are really supporting what's cultivated in practice. So sorry I wasn't super sciency. That was great. Thank you. We have time for one more question. First, Sam, thank you very much for the talk.

[46:46]

So I'm not familiar at all with Dharma, Dharma talk, even meditation and all this part. And I had a question that may sound very simple, and I hope you may be able to enlighten. So you talk about the writings, and in the writings you quote, there's a difference that is made between welcoming and meditating. And then if I quote it correctly, you say they are different. At least the reading, you say that they are different. Would you be able to say a little more about this? Because I was under the impression that in meditation, in the practice of meditation, there was welcoming. But I also understand that welcoming is not... meditation in its entirety. Yes. Thank you for the question. And this is a very nuanced and I think important distinction. And first of all, I invite all of you to play with this. As Galen is putting it, and as I understand it, the practice of, or he doesn't even call it a practice, his welcoming exercise is that it is just completely open where...

[48:00]

as most meditative practices have some type of intention towards them. And so in the practice of Zazen, I have a hard time, like, what's the difference? Especially between Shikintaza, which is just sitting. Sorry to use words. It just means just sitting, actively engaged with the present moment with kind of open, receptive awareness. However, in Zazen, when we notice our mind getting caught in a thought, we do have a practice of bringing it back to the breath, disengaging with it, and kind of coming back home. In this practice of welcoming, as I understand, we still are doing that same letting go, but we're not necessarily directing back to a grounded place or our posture or our body or our breath. We're coming back to what's now. And it's more just a curiosity of openness. And so to a degree, it kind of just gets thematic and whatnot.

[49:05]

But I think the invitation is to just radically be with what is without trying to control or modify. And if you start to do the controlling or the modify, just to let go and welcome whatever's next instead of maybe, I don't know, trying to ground. That's the best I can do. But it's when you... when I've been doing this more and more, I'm noticing in my Zazen practice how much, or my other practices, I do mindfulness and some visualization stuff, I notice how much of my practice, or there's a part of me that's seeking, you know, oh, that's not how a priest sits, or oh, just, oh, you know, get your posture right. There's this backlog that's still going on, even though I am just sitting. So that's the best I got for you. Great question, though. We need the cleric.

[50:34]

I thought I would have been a bit of violence that was the same thing. [...] Good. and brave for coming.

[53:05]

If some people could stay behind and help put the Zendo back together, that's very much appreciated. Thank you.

[53:13]

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