Good evening. My name is Greg Fain and I'm the Tonto Head of Practice here at Tassajara Zen Heart Temple. I'm very happy to be here tonight speaking with you. I would like to begin, as I usually do, by thanking and acknowledging my teacher, Soja Mel Weizmann-Roshi, the Abbott at Berkeley Center, and to say that this talk is just to encourage you in your practice. Next, I want to thank everybody for

[01:01]

all the wonderful birthday wishes. Thank you so much. Best birthday of my life. By orders of magnitude. And actually, I intentionally scheduled part of my job is to schedule these talks. So I intentionally scheduled myself to give a talk as soon as possible after my birthday, because I thought, now that I'm 60, I might be wiser. Worth a shot. Who knows? Yeah, so far, 60s are pretty good. I can recommend it. I don't feel any wiser, but it's pretty good.

[02:08]

So, tonight, I would like to talk a little bit about our core practice. Zazen. Or we also say, Shikantaza. which means just sitting or only just sitting. The style of meditation that we practice in Soto Zen, this school of Buddhism. Of course, it being guest season, maybe I should say that work is our core practice. That would be valid too. Sometimes I say work is our core practice. Sometimes I say sitting is our core practice. It's both. This is Zen, so it can be both. Linda and I were driving up back to Tassajara from the city from yet another meeting of some sort.

[03:24]

listening to music, I had my phone on shuffle. So, I think we got, I can't remember, Bessie Smith, Elgar, Stevie Wonder, Milton Asumeto, and Suzuki Roshi. I have of Suzuki Roshi's Dharma Talks on my phone, believe it or not. Courtesy of David Chadwick. All the recordings have been turned into MP3s. They're on my phone. I enjoy listening to him. He's got a great voice. Although, sometimes it's difficult because his English is very But it's sweet.

[04:33]

It's sweet to listen to Suzuki Roshi. In this particular talk, of course, it was on shuffle. I had no idea what we would listen to. He introduced three koans in the first five minutes. And I said to Linda, I could never get away with that. But I'm going to try two koans. Two koans that I believe are about thousands. For me. They are about Siddhartha. Okay, the first is very famous. I have one ancient koan and one modern koan. So the first, very, very famous. It might be the most famous koan. I bet you've all heard it. Gray teacher, Zhaozhou, Tang Dynasty teacher. who shows up in the Blue Cliff Record in the Book of Serenity more than any other teacher.

[05:33]

He said, we all know the sound of two hands clapping. But what is the sound of one hand clapping? Second koan. Modern koan. For me, it's a koan. Or a story that I... a lot, from the very early days of Berkeley Zen Center, the old Dwight Wei Zendo in the 60s, when sometimes very few people came to sit when Mel was just getting things started, the old Dwight Wei Zendo in Berkeley. And it was the early, you know, how we do, pre-dawn, still dark out, coming to sit. And so Mel was up and I guess preparing to welcome people to come sit in its early pre-dawn darkness.

[06:42]

This police cruiser comes along. Police officers like slows down. What's this? What's going on? What are these people doing? He stops and he says, well, what's going on here? What are you doing? And Mal explains, well, this is what we're doing. Come together and sit, practice meditation, I guess. Said something like that. And the police officer, remember, this was Berkeley in the 60s. The police officer says, won't drugs get you there quicker? And Mel says, without missing a beat, he says, we're not going anywhere. Yeah, we're not going anywhere.

[07:56]

Shikantaza is actually kind of difficult to talk about. So I sort of have to talk around it in a way. But I want to bring up a few points about the practice and approach to practice and what we do with our bodies. This is body practice. I really enjoyed doing yoga with Atisha this morning, my personal day, and And the director and I joined that retreat. It's a wonderful yoga. It was just right for me. And we do a lot of Zen and yoga retreats in guest season at Tassahara. And I think for good reason. Zen is yoga. Zen is completely a body practice. Let me just let that sink in for a second. Because I think a lot of people believe it's really about what you think.

[09:03]

Figuring something out. My zazen instruction in ten words. Sit down. Face the wall. Stay present for whatever arises. Usually I just do zazen instruction in five words. Stay present for whatever arises. But you know, there's various other admonitions like sit upright. Stay connected with your breath. Don't move. Keep your eyes open. Completely what you're doing with your body. Another yoga teacher, and very important to me, Darcy Lyon, she speaks about certain yoga poses being heart-opening poses.

[10:11]

And when I learned about that, I thought, snap, yes, Shikha Taza is a heart-opening pose. And we sit upright. Let your shoulder blades slide down your back. Feel this lift in the sternum. We say sit upright as though to touch the ceiling with the crown of your head. Ears in line with your shoulders. You're open across here. You're open here. You're exposed. You're vulnerable. Quite vulnerable. Ready to meet whatever arises. with courage. Bill Porter's translation of the Diamond Sutra, he keeps talking about fearless bodhisattvas. That's his translation for bodhisattva, mahasattva.

[11:15]

Fearless bodhisattvas. That's all of you, actually. That's all of you when you sit upright. It's one event. Body and mind in one suchness. I was recently gifted. It wasn't a birthday gift exactly, but the timing was right. The abbot of Nebraska Zen Center, known in Kohenny, is retiring. And he posted on the Soto Zen Buddhist Association listserv. I have a closet full of calligraphy. Please take it off my hands. So all these people are back. I'll take some of your calligraphy. He's a beautiful calligrapher. Beautiful.

[12:16]

So he sent me a couple of pieces. And one of them, I think will go into Linda Gallion's office when she becomes president of San Francisco Zen Center. It's four characters, and it's considered maybe... a slogan of Zenfeng. It says, four characters, which means practice, realization, one suchness. Practice and realization are one suchness, one event that's happening now. It's always happening now. This is the sound of one hand clapping. Just hand. Of course, most of us practice with some goal in mind.

[13:28]

That's okay. Most of us will experience fruits of the practice. That is okay. Just don't be caught by it. So we put a lot of emphasis on practicing without a gaining idea. If you have a gaining idea, it's the sound of two hands clapping. It's I'm going to get something, I'm going to achieve something, this is going to fix me because I'm not okay the way I am right now. So I'm here to tell you, you are okay the way you are right now. Our practice is an expression of this okayness, an expression of, an appreciation of this fundamental,

[14:34]

Okayness. Nothing needs fixing. Perfect. Buddha nature. Just the way you are. One hand. You know, I've been... This is my seventh guest season as Tato. That's crazy. Wow. I still like it. I still like doing it. My title means the head of the tang. It sits at the end of the tang right over there. And I sit facing out, and I look around on occasion. Sometimes I think when I look around, I see hand, [...] hand. just this pure expression so beautiful we're not going anywhere fundamentally there's nothing you get it's just this pure expression so I've been thinking a lot about Blanche

[16:05]

Her name is on the altar there. I really miss her. What a life. What a life. Blanche is really devoted to Sazeng. Really devoted to Shikantaza. She used to say that her main practice was devotion. And Zazen, one of the main things she was devoted to. She was devoted to a lot of things. Her funeral, just the other day, was amazing. It isn't often you see a funeral like that.

[17:12]

So many people, so many words. It was just right for a great bodhisattva like Blanche. I felt very lucky to be there. And it was a pretty long funeral, too. So as we were sitting there, I have to admit, on occasion, my mind wandered a little bit. I was thinking, for example, wow, this is a big funeral. And wow, there's a lot of people here. A lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. A lot of people... I've only heard about, I've never seen in the flesh before. And I thought, well, it's unlikely, I mean, you don't see a funeral like that very often in your life.

[18:25]

I thought it's unlikely that I would have a funeral like that. Fortunately, to my relief, I think that would be a very unlikely thing. Then I thought, well, I think people think about this from time to time. What if they're eulogizing, you know? What would people say? What would people say? Maybe it comes to being 60, I don't know. I'm getting old. I'm going to die. What would people say? And I thought, what would I like them to say? I think I would like them to say, well, he was pretty good at following the schedule. And we lost track of how many Kausahara practice periods he did. And he wasn't really very good as other.

[19:31]

I think I would like it if people said that. Yeah, Greg? Yeah, he was all right, but he wasn't very good at Zazen. That's okay. You know who's good at Zazen? Paul Howland. When Paul's here, he sits in this seat, he sits in the Sedo seat, and I'm sitting over there across from him, and he's just like... Nothing. Wow. I'd like to do that. You know, I'd like to be able to sit like that. I have an aspiration to sit like that, which is great. Yesterday, the Rinpoche was talking about the six parametres and the ten parametres. Well, in the ten parametres, aspiration is one of them.

[20:34]

Panidana. Yeah. I'd like to sit like that. Does that mean I'm like doing it wrong? Oh my gosh. In my little practice discussion room, you would not believe how many people come in there and say, I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. Yeah, yeah. Doing it wrong. I have to confess. It's not about what you look like. It's about making your best effort and showing up as is life. So yeah, I move sometimes. Sometimes small noises might come out of my body. I'm not proud of that. I'm not saying that's desirable.

[21:35]

But I have to accept and practice with the body that I have. All of us have to accept and practice with the body that we have. That's important. It doesn't matter. Showing up matters. That's what matters. So in the last practice period here in Tazahara, we had a wonderful experience of practice period being led by a Green Gulch farm at us through Schrader. It was the first time she led a practice period at Tazahara.

[22:42]

And she told us it was the first time she'd been in Tazahara to live in Tassara in like 30 years, something like that. Yeah, it was great. And we listened to her teaching. She gave some great talks. And maybe on a couple of occasions, please correct me, anybody here, she talked about, I recall her talking about growing up as a bit kid, growing up watching TV, and the shows that they used to watch and the shows what she related to on the television and how television was a big part of her upbringing. I think she spoke about Walter Cronkite, the most trusted man on television. And I want to mention tonight another most trusted man on television.

[23:45]

That was influential to me and to a lot of other people. Many, many, many people. Somebody whom I consider a great bodhisattva. Yes, I mean Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Truly a great man. A wonderful, wonderful show that influenced a lot of people. I know some of you are too young. You may not remember Mr. Rogers, but it's kind of... What's the word I want? Epic. So, some of you not from the USA may not have heard of... Anyway, it's a children's television show on public television that mostly he wrote... and be created, and mostly it was Mr. Rogers, and he's relating with some puppets, and very sweet and low-key, yet very reassuring and calm manner.

[25:06]

Fred Rogers is actually a Presbyterian minister and a wise, wise person. So I wanted to share something tonight from the neighborhood. A little vignette that's meaningful to me. So Mr. Rogers is in the studio and he's got an easel set up and he's got some crayons and he's drawing. He looks at the camera and he says, do you like to draw with crayons? I'm not very good at it. But it doesn't matter. It's the fun of doing it that's important. He's looking at what he's drawing. He looks at it and he says, Now, I wouldn't have made that if I just thought about it.

[26:09]

No matter how anybody says it is, it feels good. to have made something. The best thing is that each person's would be different. In a way, you've already won this world. Great teacher. A.H. Goga said, Although this inconceivable Dharma is abundant in each person, it is not actualized without practice. It is not experienced without realization. Mr. Rogers said,

[27:15]

Now I wouldn't have made that if I just thought about it. This is about what you do. It's about who will you be in this life. What will be your expression in this life? best thing is that each person's will be different and we can appreciate that and include that when you are one hand when

[28:23]

you're not trying to get anywhere when you can truly be okay with where you are right now who you are right now in this body this body which is always in the present moment that's the greatest gift that you can offer to a suffering world Linda tells a story about being on retreat with Mel. The first Vipassana retreat he ever was participating in, and they were teaching about loving-kindness. Somebody said, how do you practice loving-kindness? And Mel paused for a long time, and then he said, I'm always practicing loving-kindness.

[29:26]

when you can be just this one event. Wisdom and compassion arise. Loving kindness arises. The sound of one hand clapping might be dynamo hum of this loving kindness generator is going on inside all of us. When we let it It seems like, it feels like, lately, sometimes, if you get caught by the news, the world is on fire.

[30:53]

It might feel like that to you. It might feel like the world is on fire. And the world's leaders are sharpening sticks for the marshmallow roast. What's to be done? I used to kind of not care for what I would call headline-driven well-being ceremonies. But I've changed my attitude. It feels totally necessary The echo, the dedication of merit in yesterday's well-being ceremony was written by our, you know, Reverend Heather. You were so, thank you. It was beautiful and necessary. Do you know that's just the outward expression.

[31:58]

The work. It's what we're doing. Learning to be present, loving, trustworthy. It's hard work. It takes courage of the heart. Courage, of the heart. This is a heart opening pose. So I said in the community meeting, and I'll say again, I think it's tremendously significant and tremendously important in a world where there's so much hate and fear that there are people dedicated, working hard at practicing non-hate

[33:16]

and non-fear, and I thank you for that. It gives me encouragement about the human race, the whole situation. for your attention. May our intention equally stand to everything.

[33:59]

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