This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. It seems that Nancy Petran is the absent spirit that is, I don't know what, blessing our no race weekend. She's been mentioned several times now, even though she couldn't make it. And she asked me to give this lecture. I'm sure it wasn't totally her decision, but she did ask me. And when she said that the, my first thought was, well, that's going to ruin my weekend. But then she said that the theme was sanctuary, refuge, and inspiration.

[01:06]

And I immediately thought of one of the few koans that I actually like. Some of them I don't like much because I don't know what they're talking about. But this one I think is really a beautiful story. So I thought, well, I'll talk about that. So I'll... I'll tell you what it is and I'll talk about it and I'll tell you further thoughts I had. So the story is the Buddha was walking with the congregation and he pointed to the ground and said, this is a good place to build a sanctuary. And Indra, the king of the gods, happened to be walking with him and took a blade of grass and stuck it in the ground and said, The sanctuary is built. And the Buddha smiled. That's the story. And I think that's a wonderful story. You know, it's... Anyway, then, so I thought that, and I'll tell you some more thoughts I had about it, but then I started thinking, because there were a couple weeks between then and now, and I started thinking, you know, what is a sanctuary?

[02:23]

And... how does one possibly build one? So first let me tell you why I think this story is such a wonderful one. You know, it's so simple. Buddha's walking, and then he points right at the ground and says, this is a good spot to build a sanctuary, which is, you know, here, this is a good spot to build a sanctuary. Wherever we are, You know, wherever you are, that's a good spot to build a sanctuary. And then Indra, you know, takes the simplest thing, right? Just whatever's there. I mean, they must have had a little bit different grass than some of the grass you think about. If you can stick it in the ground, you know, most of the grass I know, or maybe their ground is really soft. But anyway, he took a piece of grass and stuck it in the ground and said, the sanctuary is built.

[03:24]

Again, just like that, suddenly there's a sanctuary wherever we are. The commentary does say, repairs will not be easy. So, maybe so. Okay. So this, you know, what is a sanctuary? I think a sanctuary is both a sacred place. We think of a sanctuary as a place that where maybe a place where you can feel the sacredness of things or feel that the wholeness of things in a place where you can how you are actually a part of everything.

[04:27]

And a sanctuary is also a safe place, right? We think sanctuary, that's a place where we and other beings are safe. So, you know, I think of Tassajara, and Linda mentioned tonight at the reception, What a perfect place to talk about this here at Tassajara. And, you know, a lot of people think of Tassajara as a sanctuary. If you come here for just a few days, maybe you think it's a sanctuary because, you know, those wonderful, wonderful hot springs are here. I mean, I think we all think they make help to make Tassajara a sanctuary. a place that is healing and safe. Maybe you think that Tassajara is a sanctuary because the people are mostly pretty nice.

[05:30]

And maybe you think it's a sanctuary because they feed you so well. Maybe you think it's a sanctuary because you don't have contact with the internet. If you stay for a little bit longer, it gets a little more complicated. It's like, I think I've said many times, Tassajara is safe enough. It's not like Tassajara is safe. You know, it's pretty safe, but we all make it safe. No one probably is breaking into your unlocked rooms right now. That's because we all do this together. We all decide it's okay to leave our rooms unlocked at Tassajara. But as I say, if you stay for a little bit longer, the parts of Tassajara that don't necessarily feel so safe start to appear. And the main place where they appear is in you.

[06:33]

Like there will be somebody here or something here, you know, some biting fly or some dishwashing task or some guest or... quite likely, some fellow student who will make you feel not safe. And actually, that's the way Tassajara is meant to be a sanctuary. It's meant to be safe enough, supportive enough, so that the unsafe parts of myself can come up and be met in a sanctuary, in a safe place, even for those parts of ourselves. So what is a sanctuary is a little more complicated, right? It's like if you think of Tassajara as a sanctuary or a place like Tassajara as a sanctuary, what makes this place, you know, this place that the Buddha pointed to, this ground right here, what can make it a sanctuary?

[07:42]

How do we build a sanctuary here? So I... I thought, well, there are maybe three things. Three is a good number for a lecture. Three things, ways that I thought, good ways to build a sanctuary, ways that it's done at Tassajara, but it's not just at Tassajara, right? We don't want to just have Tassajara be our sanctuary. We actually want our sanctuary to be wherever we are. We want our sanctuary to be for everybody, if possible. How do we do that? So I would say one thing, taking a blade of grass and sticking it in the ground is very symbolic in a kind of straightforward way, like put yourself to the ground.

[08:47]

Bring your attention, bring your body, ground your body. Notice, where are you on the ground? And, you know, Tassar really helps us do that. My granddaughter is here, lovely little bean. Her mother is saying she's learning a lot more balance here because the ground actually calls for your attention. There are all these bumps and rocks and places where you can fall off, especially if you're really short. But even if you're not, places where you have to watch your step, where it's a little bit harder than walking around on ground that has been flattened for our convenience. So bring your attention to the ground. In our lives, I would suggest, whether you're here at Tassar or anywhere else, to spend some time in your day noticing, oh, I'm eating.

[09:56]

I'm walking. If possible, sit down for a while when you're not doing something else and just sit there for a while and notice, I'm sitting here. Try sleeping. That's a part of our life that's losing out in today's world. But it's a really important part of being grounded. It's like lay your body down and notice that you're actually touching, if not then maybe probably your bed, but something that is supporting you. That we are supported by the ground. To actually take that in. For at least a few minutes a day, I'm supported by the ground. Whether I'm sitting, I'm walking, I'm laying down, and then I'm supported by my food.

[10:59]

Simple things. It's an important part of building a sanctuary, building a place that's safe enough where you can be with you. Whatever you arises. not about building a new you. It's about sticking a blade of grass in the ground and noticing that's where I am. I'm here in this ground. So that's one thing. The second thing that I thought of is often thought that Tassajara is safe to the extent that we are each looking at ourselves. that we're each trying to study the self. So in these interactions, we're kind of squished into this narrow valley here. And when it feels good, it feels great.

[12:01]

But sometimes it feels really crowded. Like, oh, that person next to me is sniffling during zazen, and I can't stand it anymore. And many, many other things. to the extent that I am looking at myself, trying to notice what happens to me when that person sniffs. What happens to me when that person says something in a particular tone of voice? What happens to me when the wake-up bell runs by in the morning? What's going on here? To the extent that I'm doing that, it's safer for the people around me. I can't as easily blame them for the kind of tightening that I might be doing when they are sniffing during zazen.

[13:05]

It's kind of like You know, in the Genjo Kohen, Dogen says something. When you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self. He's talking about, you know, he does a lot of talking about if you're riding in a boat. And he says, you know, if you're riding in a boat and you watch this shore, you might think that the shore is moving. instead of the boat. You can imagine this, right? Looking at the shore, it looks like it's going by. But if you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. And the same thing happens if you're watching the world go by and watching other people do things, then you might think that they're the ones that are causing the problem. They're the ones that are moving. I was happy, and now I'm happy. sad or scared or something because they did something.

[14:15]

But if you practice intimately and return to where you are, plant your blade of grass in the ground and grounded there, then it becomes clear that I'm actually interacting with whatever they're doing. Something's happening over here and nothing at all has an unchanging self. So to feel our connection, again, the sacredness, the wholeness of life, to feel how the universe is connected, how nothing has unchanging self, everything is changing all the time, but how I'm a part of that and how for this being, the center of the universe is right here. And for each of you, the center of the universe is right there. So where I receive the universe, where I find out about the universe, is in this body and mind for each of us.

[15:21]

Because everything is always changing and because I'm connected to it, everything that I do has an impact on how the universe is changing. It may be a small impact. It may happen right between me and one other person. It may be an impact that the other person doesn't even notice, like if they are sniffing during zazen, and I find that extremely irritating. and I actually sit there and interact with myself about that during the period of Zazen, it may be that I never even say anything to them, but that if I didn't do that, I might have an interaction with them which is much more difficult. And those interactions, even if they're ones that didn't happen, ripple out into the universe, which is the third thing, which is the connectedness, how...

[16:31]

Everything that we do has an impact. There's no option of passivity. We are alive beings and we are constantly in interaction. So even though we may spend a lot of time thinking about what should I do and should I do anything in this case, there really isn't the possibility of not doing anything. Not doing something is actually doing something. So everything we do impacts our world and either makes a place more of a sanctuary or less of a sanctuary. That's what the study of Buddhism is about, I think, is studying this being and how does this being interact with suffering. how do I cause myself more suffering? That's something to be studied when you're suffering.

[17:37]

When you're suffering, to notice intimately, to plant that blade of grass, to stay grounded and notice, am I causing myself more suffering? And what am I doing with other people? Am I causing them more suffering? Is there a way that I can cause myself and others less suffering. Is there a way that I can make the world more of a sanctuary? Is there a way I can make Tassajara more of a sanctuary? Is there a way I can make my home, my own body, more of a sanctuary? Is there anything that any of you would like to add to this? It's really good if I said something confusing if you can ask me a question about it. You can help everybody.

[18:40]

Is there anything that anyone would like to add or ask? one fear and challenge that has been coming up, I'm a little bit unsure of how to respond to it, is the question of how, as a Latino woman, we lack

[19:43]

in a home where there's not a lot of cultural diversity. That brings up a lot of fear, and I'm really struggling in bringing that up to practice discussions with white teachers. Yes, yes. Because I feel that at the experiential level, I don't want to hear it. yes yes although there isn't a lot of in some ways there isn't a lot of cultural diversity here there's a lot of individual diversity and you know I think we if you have ideas of ways that we could help please you know I would I and many of us would love to hear about and see what we can do but just speaking from what you said, I would say to all of us to let ourselves come forth as the very unique person that we are, which all of us have certain, have plenty of karmic, cultural, you know, we are dependently co-arisen from our past, right?

[21:14]

So we have that. And we're each unique, so yours is just as good as anybody else's here. And it really adds to the diversity of Tassajara. Tassajara wants to be a sanctuary for everybody. But to do that, we each have to find some way to respect all parts of ourselves. the difficult parts, the parts that we have typically felt good about, but also the difficult parts. And everyone here has difficult parts. So even though they might be different and other people might not understand them, still we look for some way to express ourself.

[22:14]

So if you think of any way I can help you do that, please let me know. I know other people feel the same. And, yeah, these other people who might look a lot alike, they're pretty weird inside. Thanks. Yes, Ron. Ron. Yes. I guess I'm just wondering, as part of our bodhisattva vow, what's our role outside this faculty? Of the immediate sangha? Yeah, well, I think it's the same as it is to each other, which is for each of us in our life and in our body and in our mind to try to see how do I cause suffering and is there any way I can do that less for myself and for others.

[23:40]

So there are people who are suffering a lot, right? What can we do in that case? And, you know, I don't think there's any general answer. It's like there's each time we meet somebody here or elsewhere, and then there's the world that we live in, you know, where there are issues that are differing distances, supposedly, from us. You know, what shall we do about... The people in Syria, what should we do about the people who are applying for sanctuary here? What should we do? There's not a general answer, and yet we can't get away from that question every minute. We have to meet the situations that come to us

[24:42]

the best we can, which is not always perfectly, but still, when it's not perfect, when we find ourselves tightening up and getting afraid and moving back, hopefully we're studying that, you know, wait, what's happening here? Is my fear in this situation really a fear that I need to act on? I mean, there are times when our fear tells us, run as fast as you can, and actually that's what we should do. But there are other times when our fear is like, it's not for anything. I have told many times the story of, I will leave names out of this, but there were two men in my life who I, at some point I noticed that what I was feeling with them was fear. And I had never thought that before. I had just felt like, oh, he's upset again. I have to sort of make him feel okay. by either fixing what he didn't like or being nice.

[25:48]

And at some point, close in time with both of them, I noticed, oh, it's fear. I'm feeling fear. No idea up until that time. And then, once I recognized it as fear, then I could wonder, what am I afraid of? Because, yeah, well, what am I afraid of? And when I asked that question, It was like, oh, it's like a really primitive fear. It's like, I'm afraid he's going to hit me. But I knew these people were not going to hit me. It was just this primitive fear happening because there was this angry guy there, at the moment, angry. And without my doing it, just seeing that, without doing anything, With one of them, I just said, you can't talk to me that way, which was totally different. We both kind of went, whoa, what was that?

[26:50]

And he walked out of the room and then came back and said, I'm sorry about that. And with the other one, it was a different kind of situation. I didn't say anything, but it changed. And then the next time it happened with this one guy that I said that to, same thing. He got angry. And I noticed it, but the words didn't come out of my mouth. It was so beautiful when it just happened naturally. But I remembered, so I said it anyway. So it was a little more contrived. But still, it was like together we needed to break this habit. But it was very interesting that my fear, it was an old habit. A perhaps centuries-old habit. you know, beyond me, perhaps, you know, a species habit or something like that. But it still was very real in me, that little bit of breakiness.

[27:52]

So what, you know, what is our response in each situation? And there may be some situations where actually, you know, we need to get together and think, what shall we do about this situation? It doesn't... preclude that. Actually, there are times when that's what we need to do. Thank you for the question. Anything else? Anybody else? Yes, Tova. Thinking about this person's question about sanctuary, what can we do about people who are undocumented, who are people who are applying for asylum. What can we do as an organization? I think we've been thinking about that. We've been trying to educate ourselves about that in the city. And some of us have been going to learn about what other congregations are doing about sanctuary.

[28:59]

There are many ways in which, in the city at least, we can help. We can go to vigils at the ICE detention center. We can hear the stories of family members of people who've been detained. And sometimes we can go to hearings and make a difference in the way the judge decides on the situation. And I think just this week, yes, it was yesterday? Yeah, Thursday. Because I'm connected with an interfaith sanctuary network in the city, I got an email about a woman who was picked up, she was detained by ICE, and her mother was afraid to go back to the home because the ICE people were still there, and could anybody house this woman, the mother, for a day or two? And

[29:59]

The email went out to a number of organizations, and this came up as a question because I sent an email to Ed and Boo and Ludwig. And because we'd been thinking about sanctuary, the response was maybe we could find a way to house this person for a day or two, if not a long term commitment. And it turned out it wasn't necessary. But as we begin learning about this issue of sanctuary, we may be able to find some ways we can respond. I really appreciate what you said about our inner conditioning and how it's important to create an inner sanctuary. But I think hearing the cries of the world as represented by so many people in our communities, that we may find ways to do more. Yes. Yes. Thank you. And I'm not sure whether the event that we're having tomorrow afternoon may also address some possible ways that we can... Anything else?

[31:10]

Yes, Jess. Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. You know, I think it happens by it happening. If sometime when you're suffering, you either remember to go back to it and just be there with, am I causing any part of this suffering? Can I be close to it? So sometimes we just remember and do it. Sometimes the suffering is so bad that you actually remember, oh, I can't think myself out of this. Like if you start thinking about, maybe this will go away.

[32:13]

Maybe it'll be better. It actually makes it worse. And it's so bad that you're just sort of like barely getting through with it as it is. So when it gets worse, you remember and you come back to, no, just be with this. And when you do that, and it actually helps at some point, it helps you remember the next time. You know, the next time you start to suffer and you start to do your normal way of getting away from the suffering, you know, like whatever your normal way is. We usually, luckily, we actually usually have particular ways that each of us use. So we can also start to recognize those. Oh, I'm eating again. You know, I'm getting angry again. And if we've seen that link, then it puts us back to, oh, wait a minute. There must be a different way to be with this. What was that again? Oh, yeah.

[33:14]

Ground myself, try to be present with myself, see am I causing myself more suffering. Okay, it's time to stop. Thank you all very much. I look forward to sharing the weekend with you. And as we said, tomorrow afternoon we'll explore, I think, some more about sanctuary and other things also. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[34:10]

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