This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. In the last couple of weeks, there have been a couple of pronouncements in the world of astrophysics. First one is there's more galaxies out there than previously thought of. The new estimation is three times as many. Before it was thought there was a hundred billion trillion. Now it's thought that there's three hundred billion trillion.

[01:00]

And then the other announcement, pronouncement, hypothesis, is with regards to the big bind. Apparently, maybe the big bind wasn't the start. There's an astrophysicist mathematician who, through his Wizardry has computed that before the big bind, there was some circles of energy. And now he's thinking that maybe that was the leftover of another universe that preceded this universe. Led him to wonder if there's a chain of universes. Maybe, you know, just a mere 50 billion years old, each one, going into being, going out of being, just following one after another, like a tick of a clock.

[02:16]

And yet, despite these wonderful facts – well, I guess they're not facts, notions at this point. But it's our best guess at the moment, apparently. Despite our best guess at the moment of these wonderful notions, most of my thinking is about me. Even though just one of six billion, on a rather insignificant planet, in a tiny, tiny solar system, in a modestly sized galaxy, which is just one of 300 billion trillion. looking at what goes on inside my own thoughts and feelings, me is a big deal.

[03:37]

In fact, as big as all those galaxies put together, in fact bigger. It's amazing. how self-centered we are. And maybe that's a good way to approach it, by being amazed, rather than ashamed, resentful, aggressive, despairing, desperate, saddened. Yeah, all that too. But even so, it's still amazing. And here we are, this amazing proposition called a human life.

[04:43]

So, the first case in the Book of Serenity, the Shoji Roku, Buddha gets up onto the Dharma seat, Manjishri says, the Dharma of the Dharma king is this, just as it is, this is it something like this. Wallace Stevens trying to talk about the same thing. You know, it's just what it is each moment. There's a poem called The Snowman.

[06:02]

One must have the mind of winter to regard the frost and the boughs of the pine trees crusted with snow. and have been called a long time to behold the junipers shagged with ash. For the listener who listens to the snow and nothing herself beholds nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. Just because our thinking is so much involved with me, doesn't mean we have to assert it as the whole story. Doesn't mean we have to take it as the whole story.

[07:07]

Doesn't mean we can't pause. open and experience the sights, the signs, the smells, the taste, the touch. Wallace Stevens says, for this, the mind of winter. One must have the mind of winter to regard the frost and the boughs of the pine trees crusted with snow and have been cold a long time to behold the junipers shied with ice. For the listener who listens to the snow and nothing herself beholds nothing that is not there.

[08:10]

holds nothing that is not there. Can we experience what's here without embellishing, without getting carried away with our own commentary, without standing up and shouting defiantly, but it's all about me. And sands just be sands, and sights just be sights. Beholds nothing that is not there, and the nothing that is. Everything's impermanent. Everything changes. Everything comes and goes.

[09:12]

even though we insist upon grasping, there's nothing to grasp. Can we do that? And then interestingly Zen says, Ourself can be forgotten in the majesty of the moment. As Vicki quoting Deakin Roshi said yesterday, entering the moment is an accident. We can't manufacture accidents, but we can make ourselves accident-prone.

[10:26]

Buddha sits on the seat. Each of us sit in the Dharma seat and being exactly what is. Despite all the thoughts and feelings we have about it, all the judgments, commentaries, associated imaginations, it's still just what is. Jisra says, the Dharma of the Dharma king, there it is. And then the verse, the unique breeze of reality. Do you see? Continuously, creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade.

[11:54]

incorporating the forms of spring. But nothing can be done about Manjishri's leaking. But nothing can be done about Manjishri's leaking. Here is reality, weaving this beautiful brocade called this moment's existence. And then we set to work on it. Associated thoughts and feelings and memories and imaginings. and you sure he's just human. He stood up and said, this is it.

[13:04]

Already too much. So, another poem. This one by Mary Oliver. Just before dawn, three deer came walking down the hill, as if the moment were nothing different from eternity. Just before dawn, three deer walking down the hill. Like 300 billion trillion galaxies being just themselves. Like an entire universe in a moment coming from big bind back to big collapse.

[14:21]

Before dawn, three deer came walking down the hill, as if the moment were nothing different from eternity. As lightly as that, they nibbled the leaves, they drank from the pond, their pretty mouths sucking the loose silver, their heavy eyes shining. Listen. didn't really see them. I came later, and their tracks on the empty sand, and saw their tracks on the empty sand. I don't believe only to the edge of what my eyes actually see in the kindness of the morning. I don't believe only to the edge of what my eyes actually see in the kindness of the morning. Do you? And my life, which is my body, surely, is also something more.

[15:38]

Isn't yours? I suppose the deer waited to see the sun lift itself up, filling the hills with light and the shadows Then they went leaping back into the rough, uncharted pine woods where everything is so quick and uncertain, so glancing, so improbable, so real. Just before dawn, three deer came walking down the hill as if the moment were nothing different from eternity. As likely as that, They nibbled the leaves, they drank from the pond, their pretty eyes sucking the loose silver, their heavy eyes shining. Listen, I did not really see them. I came later and saw their tracks on the empty sand. But I don't believe only to the edge of what my eyes actually see in the kindness of the morning.

[16:48]

Do you? And my life, which is my body, surely. is also something more. Isn't yours? I suppose the deer waited to see the sun lift itself up, filling the hills with light and shadows. Then they went leaping back into the rough, uncharted pine woods, where everywhere everything is so quick and uncertain, so glancing, so improbable, so real. So, in one hand, practice so exactly.

[17:55]

See just this. Just the light, just the sound, just the smell, just the taste, just the touch. See through, see beyond the commentary, the preoccupation, the judgment. Very precise. So precise, we miss the mark. Buddhist psychology, Vedana.

[19:03]

Vedana, feeling, not only arises before thought, but it arises before even perception. Before we've even made a notion of what is, we have a feeling about it. to the races the feeling the perception the notion and then why do we have material to work with that reminds me of a story this is just like that other experience i had this brings up memories about this that this stirs up Show me some tracks in the sand, and I'll give you a pretty darn good poem.

[20:22]

So what? Where's the problem? Is there something wrong with that? Don't we want to have good poems? Beautiful music. Appreciation of the sunlight cascading across the yellow tatami. Isn't there a Heart Sutra? Dr. Sutras, teachings, aren't they the arising and the working of the human heart and mind? But these two balance each other.

[21:23]

On one hand, nothing extra, and on the other hand, everything's included. everything, every one of those galaxies. And if there's a universe before this one and a couple after, yeah, they're included too. We're not trying to take the moment and squeeze it into a dot. It's quite literally beyond our comprehension. And the part of it we do perceive, we perceive faster than we think.

[22:28]

if the mind can become deeply settled, if it can let go of the subtle graspings and aversions, if it can be like the mind of winter. We can see the loom and shuttle of reality. weaving the moment. And when the conditions of mind change, we resume writing the great novel, the great opera, great concert painting the great painting called me can we ask ourselves to embrace it

[24:11]

ask ourselves to sit upright in the middle? Can we ask ourselves to not be fooled into thinking, this is it, even though it's imbued with deep emotion, even though it associates and resonates with our psychological agendas? Even though sometimes the energy of our involvement picks us up. Like a piece of wood floating on a big wave. Swirls us around. Can we come back to body? Can we come back to breath?

[25:14]

Can we come back to just seeing, hearing, touching, feeling, smelling? And more challengingly, can we come back to mind? Can we come back to this amazing human capacity? To see tracks in the sand and create a beautiful poem. To imagine the deer so present that this moment is nothing other than eternity. Can we see that play itself out? Its energy arises from previous causes and conditions.

[26:17]

We can't go beyond the moment and change the causes and conditions. But when it arises, can it be allowed to be just what it is? As it ripples through Vedana, perception, sankara, ideas and concepts. as it formulates, weaving a reality. Okay? This is what it is to be a life. Can we watch the ripples of our own agitation, our own struggle, our own desire, our own delight? own regret.

[27:23]

Okay, this is what it is to be alive. In the moment of noticing, can something quietly, steadily return? as a rejection, more like a celebration. That was great and there's more to come. There isn't just one poem in here, there's 300 billion trillion. Moments of consciousness in a human life. That's my new theory.

[28:30]

There's as many moments of consciousness in a human life as there are galaxies in the universe. You can run the math on that and let me know how that would fit. Six per second for a life of baby years. We return and we return. And we feel to be nothing. Because we're something. And we watch the next something come into existence. go out of existence.

[29:31]

And we like it and we don't like it. And sometimes it's simple and obvious and sometimes it's so complex that we don't know what end is up. This is the nature of human consciousness. You've got to, because you're human. Fully loaded with all the attachments. I was trying to think of the phrase, when you buy a car and it's got all the special things. What's the phrase? But there's something else that comes with it. All the what? Accessories.

[30:35]

All the accessories. Yeah. Fully loaded with all the accessories. That's us, each one of us. Full range of, accessorized with a full range of emotions and imagination. A whole set of personal references and memories. together to create this opera called me. And something of a paradox, when we get swept up into it, we lose connection. When we stay grounded here, it becomes evident.

[31:35]

Because staying grounded can feel like it's an issue of control. It can feel like it's an issue of suppression. It can feel like it's an issue of denial, non-acceptance. This is what it is to study the Dharma. How do I go about making matters worse? I got a conditioned existence. How do I go about embellishing it in a way that makes it hurt more, that makes it more difficult to see what's going on? And what would it be to move in the other way, towards making it more obvious, to lessening the hurt, the obscuration, the struggle?

[32:59]

So now, you know, we're at the point in Sashin, where we're immersed. There's a story in the Bible where Jonah gets swallowed by a whale, and then the whale dives deep into the ocean. That's us. We're Jonah. Shashina's the whale, and it dives into the ocean of existence. Jonah had to go through 40 days and 40 nights. We're in the middle of something. And we're always in the middle of something. There's no option about it. Maybe we'd like to think, oh, it's just this one galaxy, you know.

[34:15]

25 billion years in the growing, 25 billion years in the diminishing. But maybe there's one before and one before that, maybe there's one after and one after that. We're truly in the middle of something and we don't know how big it is. Even in the moment, comes into being so rapidly, it can't be grasped. So we meet it, we experience it as it arises. The enlightened are enlightened about delusion. What do we wake up to? We wake up to how it is in this moment. It's a beautiful poem.

[35:22]

Okay. Oh, it's a deep, painful memory about my relationship with my mother. Okay. Oh, it's a nagging pain in my lower back that has a strange, compelling sense of dread. Oh, it's a warm glow in my chest that has a sense of a spacious gratitude and appreciation for everybody in the Zento. Okay. Can we be willing to take the next inhale? because we're going to get what we want or avoid what we don't want, but because we're in the middle of something that's alive.

[36:29]

And in this precious moment, that life can be tasted. Can we breathe out and let something go. Because the more we wander off into our own thoughts and feelings and associations and imaginings and memories, in that complexity, confusion, obscuration, the energy, the vitality dissipates exactness of the moment, the energy illuminates. In the confusion and the complexity, the energy dissipates.

[37:35]

And it's hard to know what the heck is going on. So pause, notice, What is going on? What is the state of mind? Is there a particular content of thoughts? Is there an abiding feeling? Returning to posture. Returning to willingness to experience this moment. The inhale, the exhale. time and time again. So being immersed in something is not a notion.

[38:43]

It's not a theory. It's not something some astrophysicist made up in his lab. It's a lived experience. this turns into that, turns into the next thing. This me that I'm so intently and passionately involved in is just an ongoing unfolding Dharma. Just offering different teachings on the human condition. In the sutras it says, and the Buddha has seen all the trends of thought of the human condition.

[39:51]

I imagine that's a lot. The enlightened are enlightened about delusion. What do we wake up to? We wake up to the conditioned nature of the human existence. How it sweeps us up. How it parts and a moment of clarity, a moment of awareness happens. And we study the Dharma and what is it that supports that? What is it that stimulates that? What is it that draws us close to now? What is it to abide in now? What is it to open to now? And we notice the gross and subtle ways we miss the mark.

[40:57]

And as compassionately as we can, as patiently as we can, to not be discouraged. To pause. Now what? What's happening now? is far beyond success and failure. If you have the power to control this universe, and maybe the one before it and the one after it, then you can control every moment of existence. If you don't have that power, then Existence will unfold the way existence unfolds.

[42:15]

But as it unfolds, to see it for what it is. As the mind, as the eye, lights upon hoof prints in the sand, creating a beautiful poem. Let it arise, let it fall away. Nothing hinders awakening. Nothing has singular ownership. awakening we can freely give our energy to all the many agendas of me

[43:29]

but turning light onto how me comes into being, how the moment comes into being, how the moment generates me, how the moment of me generates reality, past and present. As we turn the light of awareness onto that, what's going on starts to make sense to us. Something is revealed. Something is discovered. This is way-seeking mind. So as we enter immersion in Sushin,

[44:40]

study master ma asked leon and what sutra do you study the sutra of the heart this passionate wish to live that expresses itself as me that's what i study manifestations to study what helps us to stay close what helps us to tune in it helps us to see what's going on in contrast to being swirled around by Can our attitude be expansive?

[45:53]

Can our attitude be enormously generous and patient with the human condition? Nagarjuna said, each moment is just a construct, but the suffering is real. We do suffer. when he said, start there. Where there's suffering, there's energy. Where there's energy, there's something to learn. And let it open up from there. Study everything. As you walk down the hall,

[46:58]

as you serve lunch, as you eat dinner. The mind wakening in the morning. The mind just after the bell struck to end a period of Zazen in which your body and knees were hurting like heck. in that moment of release. Study the mind of deep emotion, painful and joyous. How it stimulates thought, how thought and emotion together a field of being which is energized, or not.

[48:18]

At this point, in Sashin, this place of immersion, where even though it might not seem that we have developed some powerful laser-like concentration. We've stripped away layers of distraction. We're closer to engaging, feeling and touching the stuff of consciousness. Let it teach the nature of what is. Let it teach the activities of the self. Each one of us is unique. Each one of us with our own delightful patterns.

[49:18]

Like a snowflake. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[49:53]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.05