Good morning. Yesterday I was trying to talk about what it is to be undone by the moment. You know, it's much more usual for us to carry into the moment some expression of our own determination about our life, ourself. What we want, what we want to avoid. And... Which is a wonderful practice, especially when it's coupled by an impossible intention.

[01:15]

Then we can really set the self to work. Keep it busy. And then there's this other aspect of our practice. We can forget the self. and receive the world. And let it teach us, let it guide us, let it support us, and let it support all being. What is it to save all being? Is it different from being saved by all being? We're not human having a spiritual experience. We're spiritual having a human experience.

[02:21]

We're always exactly what is. We're always completely connected. Everyone, including ourselves, is always saved. Just stop acting like it was otherwise. Sometimes about letting the immensity of our misguidedness register. Let it undo our innate tendencies to formulate a self-centered view and act with complete conviction. Hafiz said, asking himself the question, how do I listen to others?

[03:35]

I listen as if they were speaking their cherished last words. How do I listen to others? I listen as if they were speaking their cherished last words. How do I meet this moment? As if I'm going to live forever. And as if there's nothing that important about it. I can just stay preoccupied in my own thoughts. Or not. So we practice together, you know, this day being the culmination of our three week intensive.

[04:41]

One way we can say, well, Beginnings and endings are arbitrary. There's only continuing. As Thich Nhat Hanh says about birthdays, happy continuation day. And then in another way, holding up the way life makes sense to us and letting it register. can be powerful in an illuminating and guiding way. You know, we can ask ourselves, what have I learned about practicing? If there's one thing in this time together that I don't want to forget, that I want to keep close to me, that I want to remind myself of each day, it's this.

[05:47]

What we think is important to us. What we think can be an ally. It can cook in our intention. It can give it some gravity, some gravitas. What is it? that we've learned from this time together. And as we sit on this last day of Shashim, quite lightly, the world will come to meet us. The world that we reach forward and bring to meet us. What will you select? It's a marvelous opportunity to discover who you are.

[06:55]

Will you select the things that frighten you? And that make you anxious? That will satisfy your yearnings? That will give you an opportunity for creativity? And how will it be when they come forward? Will you be mesmerized and entranced by them? Swept up in what? they stimulate? Or with receptive stillness will you be undone by the clarity in which they display the conditioned nature of existence? Oh, when this comes forward, it brings forth this kind of intensity of thinking and feeling. It affects the body like this. the body grows heavier, lighter, looser, tighter.

[08:05]

With awareness, every arising offers itself to undo the web of self-concern, the web Preoccupation. Everything offers us its last cherished words. So the last step session is a very interesting practice. We can hold our breath, count the hours, the days, the hours, the minutes. Okay, now there's one more oreo-yoke meal. Four more periods of design. And exist in a kind of netherland between before and after.

[09:22]

Or we can stay present. Not to resist the energy that arises at this time of change, of imminent change. Not to resist it, but literally to experience it. To see how it manifests. How do I handle change? How do I handle endings? How do I handle new beginnings? In some ways it's practical and useful to think, okay, what have I learned and how will I continue from here? What will be the ethical discipline of my life going forward that will keep turning me back towards the fundamentals of practice?

[10:39]

What will be the expression of Shingi and Sangha and Sila in my life? What will be the rhythm of my mindfulness practice? When and how will it be engaged? This constant request to look at what is beyond just how it's constructed by self-preference. And what is it to express that in the world? What are the priorities? What are the values? What is it to meet the world and be undone?

[11:44]

What is it to enter the world staying true? From a Zen perspective, there's two ways of thinking. There's thinking with mind and there's thinking with no mind. Or maybe we could say there's thinking with self and there's thinking with no self. Or maybe we could say there's thinking in the context of the world according to me in this thinking in the context of Dharma. This interplay of self and no-self, of self-centered being and being arising from the perspective of interconnectedness.

[12:58]

When we think In terms of the world according to me, well then, what I want, what I don't want, what I'm afraid of, what I regret, these are the significant guiding features. How will I live my life from here on to get what I want and avoid what I don't want? Certainly a reasonable approach. What does practice ask of me? And how can that be taken up and lived for the benefit of all beings of which I'm one?

[14:06]

What have I learned here that has helped me to open, helped me to engage, helped me to savor life and others, has helped to bring forth the human characteristics, patience, kindness, compassion, generosity, courage, the human characteristics that nourish, deeply nourish, and truly support a human life. What way of living, moving forward? What kind of intention can support that? Ackerman says, when we get involved in practice,

[15:08]

like a great iron ball in our throat. It's too big to swallow and it's too big to spit out. It's just there in our life. This great question. Prompting us to pay attention. Prompting us to reach thine and find the best of ourselves. To not sell ourselves short. To not look at the tragedies of the world, but not let ourselves feel anything. Could you turn that... We do have a mechanical aid.

[16:17]

To not look at the tragedies of the world and not let ourselves feel. Sometimes I think if we read the newspaper... With an open heart, it would be a broken heart. There was a practitioner who died of cancer about a decade ago, and he wrote himself a little poem. My heart is broken, open. Rick Fields. This way of being in the world that enlivens us, doesn't enliven us because it's comfortable, because it fits into our design of what should happen and what should not happen.

[17:33]

It enlivens us because it keeps asking more of us. And it enlivens us because it keeps driving us in ways to open to receive more. We read the tragedy and we realize, I have done that. I have formulated opinions. I have empowered them with strong feelings. I have on them. What was I thinking? And who doesn't do that? And how trivial it is just to criticize it and set yourself up

[18:42]

superior to it. How unhelpful it is to criticize yourself and push yourself down in relationship to it. To open to the world and be nourished by the world. We save all sentient beings, and sentient beings save us. This is how, as the koan says, the nation flourishes. This is how our own life flourishes. And of course, in the midst of that, we will constantly create an agenda that arises from the perspective of self. And some parts of it quite practical.

[19:47]

Eat in a healthy manner. Get enough rest and exercise. Take time to process with yourself and with others the difficulties and challenges of your life. Take time to enjoy life. And restore your being. And take up the work of your life. However and whatever that might be. And can all that be done with a sense of no self? Or a sense of self that includes all beings? Can your flourishing include the flourishing of everyone?

[21:01]

And how would that look like Given the particulars of who you are, the life you're living. So to take up these questions and answer these questions with the heart and mind of no self. Or big self. Not that we know the answer. It's that we're willing to learn. Nothing to know, everything to learn. This is how we enter the world with the spirit of Zen practice. It's as if in our formal practice we undo through the forms.

[22:16]

We create a structure that undoes us. And then we enter the world. And the world undoes us and asks us for our response. And we respond. As best we can. Sometimes saying each thing is the most important thing. Sometimes saying nothing to know, everything to learn. And then sometimes your cell phone rings. maybe the answer is coming up.

[23:26]

Then I said, maybe sometimes the answer maybe comes by your cell phone. They did. I did. This questioning, in this way of relating to the questioning, in Zen practice we call Vinjokan, the khan of life. From the place of self, the khan of life is more like an annoyance. I just want to know. I just want to know for sure exactly what I should do next. I just want to know for sure, is this going to work out or not?

[24:30]

From the place of the old self, everything's a teaching. You do this, and then you look at it and think, I could have been so stupid. What was I thinking? And with a certain attitude, even that is a support. Even that is a teaching. Some strange shift From frustration and disappointment to learning, amusement, guidance, support.

[25:38]

Something turns us back towards realizing this is the most important thing that's going on now. has a lot to teach. I'm just picking up the questions of our life in a particular way. It's appropriate, practical, and completely in accord with the Dharma. What's my strategy? How do I craft my life that gives me the time to do the core practice that helps me sustain the stability and clarity to meet the challenges of my life?

[26:48]

Of course, strictly speaking, That's just something you're cooking up. But everything's just cooked up. And as we take a step, can those questions be cooked up with the mind of no self or big self rather than just small self? And as we take that step of the hundred foot As we take that step from what we have considered and thought of into what's going to happen next, what we don't know. As we take that step, are we available to learn, to meet it, to meet the cherished words of the next moment? on the 100-foot step says, when you take this step off the 100-foot pole, the whole world becomes the one human body.

[28:11]

There's an intimacy. There's a connection. There's a support. There's a teaching. There's an engagement in life. Life is being lived. We are being lived. To live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. Will the events of our life take us away from this? What was that again? or the word stay as a shallow idea. Huh, that seemed like a good idea during Shishin. Now it just seems like another one of those weird Zen things.

[29:21]

How do we keep rediscovering, re-immersing our mind and heart in the depths of the Dharma. How will you do that? You are the sovereign of your body and your mind and your heart. You walk through corridors of your life. So as we sit in these waning hours of Sushin, don't let these questions and what other questions arise for you.

[30:34]

Sometimes the questions arise from the self. How will I get what I want? And then we hold them with the big mind of no self. Wonderful. How will I get what I want? What a wonderful question. What is it that I really want? And in wanting that, what am I hoping will happen? And is that want simply a metaphor for something else? A symbol? Small self. Offers itself. The big self.

[31:43]

As a calling. To be listened to. Like the cherished last words. Of a dying person. This is the calling of a human life. Of a human heart. Of a human mind. That we so. affectionately called me. Or sometimes with resentment or criticism called me. Can it be held with deep mind? As we head into these waning hours of sushi, can deep mind hold the arising is a small mind. Look at that.

[32:47]

Look at what goes on in mind when that idea comes up. Look at the exuberance of associated ideas. Sometimes we're enthralled by the positive. Ah, yes. And then we'll do this. Oh, yeah. And we'll play this music on the radio. And we'll eat this. And then we'll drive over there and have lunch with so-and-so. Mmm. Perfect. Sometimes, oh, no, I got to deal with that. Ah. I can't stand it. It'll never work. I'm the wrong guide. I think I'll just stay here. To offer everything to big mind.

[33:56]

Hmm. Okay. Look at that. Look at the inner workings that happen when something's infused with the commitment of engagement. And what is this so-called world that I'm so passionate about? How can it be held in the light of the Dharma? And it be the vehicle of the vow of practice. What is it to practice with this? This passion of attraction and desire.

[35:01]

This passion of aversion. What is it to practice with that? What is it to practice with that relationship? What is it to practice with that situation? That these questions are held with big mind. Then something starts to open. is a request to practice. What would it be to meet that with compassion, with patience, with kindness, with courage, with generosity, with wisdom?

[36:03]

What would it look like? And of course, all this is just the activity of climbing to the top of a hundred foot pole. Then you got to go do it. You got to step off the pole. Will I be okay? Hmm. I think of it in terms of Capa Casabova's poem. You waited for something to come, it came, and it wasn't what you waited for. You planned for something to happen, it happened, and it wasn't what you thought was going to happen.

[37:04]

Well, if you are omniscient, you'll have it all figured out exactly correctly. And if you're not quite omniscient, you may have missed a few details. But something about the vow and intention of the mind allows the world to support us. When we take that step, the whole world will come to the human body. An article in the newspaper teaches us how to practice an encounter with someone on the street, noticing our own state of mind.

[38:14]

Or as Nassim Hegmit would say. Things I didn't know I loved. I'm sitting by the window on the Prague Berlin train. Night is falling. I never knew I liked night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain. I never knew I loved the earth like someone, can someone who hasn't worked the earth love it? I didn't know I loved the sky, cloudy or clear. The blue vault Andrea studied on his back in Boyudino. In prison, I translated both volumes of War and Peace into Turkish. I heard voices, not from the blue vault, but from the yard.

[39:30]

The guards were beating somebody again. I never knew I loved the roads, even the asphalt kind. Viewers behind the wheel, I'm driving from Moscow to the Crimea. The two of us, inside a closed box. The world flows past, and both sides, distant and new. I was never so close to anyone in my life. I just remembered the stars. I love them too. Whether I'm floored watching them from below or whether I'm flying at their side. I didn't know I liked the rain. Whether it finds and falls as a fine gnat or splatters against the glass of my heart. leaves me tangled up in a net or trapped inside a drop and takes off for uncharted countries.

[40:31]

I didn't know I loved rain, but why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting by the window of the Prague Berlin train? passion of our life align itself with the request of practice? Can they enter the world together? Can we discover what we didn't know we loved? We didn't know who we loved. And we will save and be saved by all sentient beings.

[41:40]

Can the Dharma not become some exotic, exclusive, esoteric insight that we glimpse during the heart of Sashim? going to be something that meets us at every street corner, speaks to us from the newspaper, from the internet, from the casual exchanges we have with the bus driver and the homeless person on the street. done in Zazen. Letting something settle. Just an organic act of a human life.

[42:49]

Letting the immensity of life register. Letting the tender vulnerability of a human life Sit still for a moment and absorb its own workings. Rediscovering its own fragile majesty and getting up and entering the world again. Not because we're strong and powerful and know it all. Because something in us wants to practice. Something in us responds with joy to the question, what does practice ask of me? Something in us knows that question is not any different from how to live.

[44:06]

What do I want? It's just a stylized way of saying the same thing. What does practice ask of me? How do I practice with this? This mind, this heart, this body, this life, this world, this time. every day with a ceremony and you can bring forth the question your heart and mind has cooked up. What will it be? guests will all find out.

[45:20]

Thank you.

[45:22]

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