Morning. Morning. My cheek already was very helpful by not bringing the lectern forward immediately. Because upstairs she asked me, how are you? And I said, well, I don't. quite know because there are all these disjointed pieces that I have no idea how they're going to come together today. And so in some ways, you know, I could just leave the notes back there. It wouldn't probably make that much difference. So that was a wonderful reminder. So my mind is in some ways creating a world that is not really reality.

[01:28]

My mind says, well, You know, it's been a year, more than a year since you've talked here, you know, last time. You should be different now. You should have something to say. My Buddhist name is loom of emptiness, meaning the loom, the weaving where you weave of emptiness. And this morning that came to my mind and I thought, oh, thank you. You know, kind of. This is how it feels. It feels like, you know, I just show up and then I have no idea what what threads will weave into the frame of.

[02:33]

showing up, sitting here, and having all of you sitting here. So you all showed up. So can we entertain the thought that We each of us is created, co-created every moment fresh and new. That we don't know who this is that's waking up this morning. And if we pay attention and.

[03:37]

For example, wake up every morning and just wonder, well, who is this today? This moment, not even today, but right now that's opening her or his eyes and stretching. How am I put together right now? Because myriads of circumstances. come forth and shape this moment, shape our mind, shape our body, shape our perceptions. So everything, every thing, so everything that we can perceive, Is our senses.

[04:37]

Is co-created. Is a rising fresh moment after moment. And in some ways, if you take a little moment and. Think of, for example. Your boss. You have one. Maybe your wife is your boss or your husband is your boss or your children's or your boss. Think of entering your boss's office or your boss entering your office. That you get put together different than when you meet one of your children. And that if you have several children, they all configure you as a different parent, as a different father, as a different mother.

[05:42]

When you think of telling how you are today, or if you have something, a difficulty of telling it to this friend and then telling it to another friend, and telling it to a third friend, there's always a difference how you tell the story, what aspect of the story gets highlighted or gets alive and what doesn't even come into play. So in some ways, that's at the basis of the of the teaching of no self, that there's no independent, inherent, unchanging existence to anything.

[06:53]

That everything is very sensitive response to innumerable causes and conditions that come to bear at this moment. is a incredibly alive response system. The plants, the weather, butterfly effect. Us human beings and we pick up much more than we think we do. And we respond to much more than we can ever put our finger on or grasp. We respond to what we ate last night or this morning or didn't eat. How the weather influenced our sleep. That maybe someone yesterday didn't smile at us or frowned at us and it just threw us for a loop and it's still part in our body.

[08:02]

And then, of course, what influences us very, very, very much is all the habits that we have acquired and that we with faithfulness and diligence maintain. So on that level, you could say we never do not practice. We always practice something. There is no moment of no practice in nobody's life. So waking up is more, it's not like changing, it's more like becoming aware that that's so. And if we encounter this firm belief that my boss is like this and that's what I can expect.

[09:12]

To kind of hold the possibility that actually he and you are fresh every morning and there might be a different person showing up. All that is necessary is some ways allowing in that reality that everything is changing all the time. Including. you which is really hard because there is something keeping track and keeping telling a story oh that's me again yeah again oh this is new but it's just a vacation because this is really me you know so the familiar has such a pull even though it might be painful it has such a pull because it's familiar it's what we have practiced and practiced there's deep breaths and we

[10:42]

Tend to, you know, go down those lanes over and over again. Necessity or what is necessary in German has a very great word. It is not bendy kite. And that means literally translated that which turns misery. That which alleviates misery. So, you know, language is different. Languages have sometimes words that really point to, you know, nothing is also no thing. So. So in her talk on Wednesday said all we need to do is show up. That's another way of. Being present or.

[11:45]

allowing yourself to become aware how there is a fluidity in our existence. And that. There is also in this tradition is a basic practice in Buddhist tradition that, you know, Dogen says all the Buddhas have transmitted that. It's part of the theme of the practice period, the whole hearted way. And it's called Sazen. But Sazen, you could also say, is offering us a way of becoming aware of this continuous life arising and passing and new life arising and passing.

[12:59]

And that the, you could say the basic core of it is just to be still, to pause. So there is a David Wagner and he wrote a poem about that and it goes lost. It's the title. Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here. So imagine a day where you keep just saying, oh, I'm here, here. What's here? This is here. And you must treat it as a powerful stranger.

[14:03]

Meaning don't treat it as, oh, this is the boss I know. Or this is the me I know. Treat yourself in that moment like a powerful stranger, like somebody you have to discover. Must ask permission to know it and be known. So being known or asked permission to know it is in a way. Buddhist term, you would say inquiring, having an inquiring mind, having that curiosity and openness to look at. How is it now? Not so much.

[15:09]

What is it? Because that's very quickly put. but how is it and how is the relationship with it? So for example, after I moved out of Zen Center, now I'm kind of standing on my own feet like I didn't before, but in a different way. So I still come here and see people for practice discussion. And I have a little donation box because I'm financially not supported by Zen Center anymore. And that is a powerful new me arising, a stranger. Because I have to start wondering, well, how do I present this? How do I think about it? And I haven't come to a, you know, it's still in process. And it's a big, excuse me, it's a big change.

[16:13]

for all the people that used to come and see me for free. It wasn't really free, but they didn't give a donation. I mean, Zen Center paid for my livelihood, so it wasn't really free, but it could look like free. So some people come up and discuss with me what it brings up in them. How much do I give? What is OK? What is not OK? And what is a donation? And if there is a suggestive price, is it still a donation? Is it not the donation? What do you think of me if I'm giving only that much? And, you know, all those things. And are we willing to look at that and bring it into discussion? Let ourselves be known where we stand. And by that, getting to know our... Aspects of ourselves that are coming up because the circumstances have changed.

[17:20]

Or do we go to somebody else and discuss that we do or do not find this a great idea and that we would like it to be different, but we don't go to the person where actually something would change if we would have a conversation. So that is part of what I think is we must ask permission to know it and be known. Because by asking permission to know it, what inevitably happens is that we become known in that moment how it is now, not how it is the rest of our life, but how it is now, too. And there is a meeting. And there is a transformation happening. If we go to somebody who does something we do not understand or we do not like or we have problems with and.

[18:33]

Bring those problems there. If the person can listen. We discover something. If I listen to the other person. It changes me. I cannot listen to anybody fully with an open heart without being changed. And that's what we often resist because we want to keep our opinions because our opinions are intricately tied to how we think we are and what we think we should be. And therefore what the world is like and how it should be. And if only everybody would just behave, we would have no problems. So simple. They just don't get it. Stand still.

[19:42]

The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here. And you must treat it as a powerful stranger must ask permission, which is also actually it's not going telling somebody just what you think about them. That's different. That's not telling your truth. It's actually ask permission. May I talk to you about Donna practice? How do you think about it? How come you have a basket out? Now, I have really big trouble with that, for example. Must ask permission to know it and be known. You know, asking permission brings up another quote that I think is

[20:48]

Who wrote this in Walden said when you sit still long enough at a clearing. Each animal of the forest will come and present itself to you. That's the same. Pointing to being still to not moving forward, but being still and then the animals. show their life to you because they actually don't know quite, they don't know you're there, or if they do, they are not frightened because you're still. You're not stalking them, you're not hunting them, and you might see how they live in a way you would never see if you were trying to find them. They come to you and present them. It's like asking permission is like Giving the other person space to show themselves the way they do right now.

[21:55]

In this moment. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers. I have made this place around you. So we all make place around each other. Or we don't. If we put each other in boxes, we restrict the other person. We don't give space. But what is so is that we put ourselves in a box. There's no way I can put somebody in a box and think that's who they are. And that's just, you know. That's going to be the relationship we have without being as much hindered and restricted by that. Because we are completely co-creating each other.

[22:57]

I have made the forest breathes. Listen. It answers. I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again saying here. No two trees are same to raven. Not two branches are the same to wren. If what the tree or a bush does is lost on you, you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. So most of the time we think we have to know where we are and we have to not lose ourselves.

[24:14]

And this is kind of turning this upside down and says, If we, wherever we are, if we are open, we are going to be found. And by being found, we are finding ourselves fresh moment after moment. And our children says, everything we need to be fully alive, fully awake, and fully human is always present in each moment.

[25:24]

In the particular circumstances of this very moment that each of us find ourselves in. Norman says the party, Norman Fisher, who was a Abit here is a Buddhist teacher says the party never happens someplace else. And how often do we think somewhere else something is happening that's more alive than what's happening right now? And we want to be somewhere else or want to be somebody else or want to feel something else or want to see somebody else or see something different or not have this food on the plate today. And that's practicing habit.

[26:31]

So we never do not. I think that's kind of relaxing. So a lot of this doesn't make any sense anymore here. You know, giving talks reminds me also of I brought this today when I was putting this together. I brought this. Oh, wow.

[27:34]

Excuse me. What it, why I put it together was that, you know, we, oh, on the backside is this. That's the Heart Sutra in calligraphy. The Heart Sutra, which says there is emptiness and form, and they are not two, even though we cannot, grasp it how they are not true but it is this the fact that everything is freshly recombining new ways every moment is based on that nothing is fixed it's unchanging unmoving and that's the emptiness the not no thinness out of which all myriad things arise and if you you know, we less and less write by hand.

[28:38]

But if you practice calligraphy, which Daigoku would know a lot about, and other people too, for example, you can practice and practice, but you cannot write twice in your whole life, one character exactly the same as, as the same, no, the same character is, Each time a different character. And it's a wonderful way of having a visceral experience of that choice, because it's not something we, you know, as concepts. It's really how it is. The moment you put down that brush on the paper, everything that's happening right now, how... The ink, how it is right now, which is different than 10 minutes ago or even a few seconds ago. The temperature in your room.

[29:40]

There is an irregularity in the paper. Your heartbeat suddenly translates to your hand, the pulse. You are getting tired and are a little cramped up here, or you are completely fluid. You cannot write two same characters. And so for me to bring this, it's like also like how my Yumi Yoda just envisioned Samantha Bhattra, who is the practice, bringing wisdom and compassion into the actions of everyday life. That's why she's sitting on an elephant. In India, the elephant was the working animal. So. And she had this image with her so playful. You know, it's. Who wouldn't want to sit on this elephant and fly around?

[30:43]

So how can practice be playful? How can you ask, you know, not this thing? I have to get better. I have to change myself. which Pema Churkin says is a subtle form of aggression. Every thought to think you have to change is a not willingness to give space around what is right now and let it show you what it is instead of defining it and saying this is good and this is bad and this should get better and why are you still like this? So how can practice become playful? How can you ask yourself really every morning, who is this now? Let's see. And how are we together going to have this day with this person today? And who's meeting my wife?

[31:50]

And who is this wife today? Or this dog? With animals, we have it much easier. We can let them much easier be different without thinking good or bad. They can lay around all day and nobody's saying, oh, you're really lazy and you should be working. When I went to Switzerland in December, I left in a very, home and together state and I went to be with my mother who was ill. And the moment I entered that house, I was completely in turmoil. And for a few days I was, you know, kind of thinking, well, what am I doing wrong or what's what is going on?

[32:53]

Why is it like this? And it shouldn't be like this. And where is my practice? And, you know, and at some point I don't remember how the image arose that I feel like a pond in a storm. And when that image came up, I relaxed because I don't go out to a pond and say, excuse me, you should be clear to the to the bottom, you know. Why are you not clear? You know, there's something wrong with you and something wrong with your practice. And, you know, we've been practicing so many years. So you should be clear down to the bottom, even though the wind is, you know, churning up the waters. But to ourselves, we talk like that. But we are like ponds. We are like the climate. And so what I started doing is telling people this is how I feel. And what was wonderful is by being able to tell them how I felt, they left me in peace.

[34:00]

No one tried to go on a boat ride on this pond. No one tried to fish in it. No one was putting up, you know, their camping on the shore. No one was expecting to sunbathe. They gave me a gift. They left me alone. But they didn't abandon me. But they also could leave me alone and not abandon me because I was able to say, this is what's happening. I have no idea why. I have no control over it. The only thing I could do is say, this is what's happening. And by knowing what was happening and not trying to control it or force it I could have space around it too and so it didn't spill over. So it's not about changing ourselves but being, being still

[35:18]

Being open hearted to what is. You know, my habitual mind was, of course, telling stories that, oh, this is old stories from my childhood and I haven't changed at all in all those years here at Sun Center. And. But the image of the pond and the storm actually had its own beauty. I mean, if you go out in nature and do a walk when it's storming or raining, it's an incredible experience. And there is nothing wrong with it. It's just what's happening. And my mother says to me on the phone, oh, I miss you.

[36:22]

And you were so calm. And I don't know, but you probably know that, too. Sometimes, you know, you are in inner something's going on and you feel really, you know, really bad. And someone comes and says, oh, you look so good. And what we usually do is we think, well, they don't get it. If they only knew, you know. But can we allow that to stand right beside what we perceive and allow that to be there as much real as what I see or feel? And just let it sit side by side creates more space. So in Genji Quan, I think it says, when you ride out in a boat to the midst of the ocean, the ocean looks circular and it does not look any other way.

[37:29]

So it's not like if we would see it right, we would see it not circular. It's still, if you're out in the midst of the ocean, it is round. You look around and there is just a circle around you. But the features of the ocean are infinite in variety. To remember that this is just from my place where I stand, I can only see that much. That's the way it is. But that doesn't mean that much is the whole, is the whole of everything. And defines reality. It's a slice. So if the other person can put their slice and their slice, maybe together we can see more. She says it's time to stop.

[38:34]

So I have to stop. I think I read you that poem one more time. Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here. And you must treat it as a powerful stranger. Must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. Listen. It answers.

[39:38]

I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again, saying here. No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If that tree, oh, if what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. see I have written all these pieces of bits and pieces and I'm attached to them you know I don't want to just let them go even though they don't make sense anymore looking if I can add something or and that's how you know how we get in relationships and how they influence us and can we let go

[41:04]

And it's incomplete because it's never ending. It's continuously changing.

[41:10]

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