This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzce.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations by people like you. So this practice period we've been studying Dogen Zenji's fascicle from the show Bogenzo called Continuous Practice. And several times during the practice period we've taken out After laying out the principles of continuous practice, Durban Zenji quotes a variety of stories. And on several occasions we've taken one and discussed it, hopefully in a manner that illuminates the request, the nature of continuous practice. So tonight I'd like to offer another one. And I'd like to offer you a couple of suggestions.

[01:04]

So one way we can take up Zen stories or Zen koans is that we set aside our usual way of thinking, our usual way of framing the world, and all that's implied and involved in that can take up the proposition of the story of the koan. And there's a request of detachment. You've got to let go of something before you can take up something else. There's a request of involvement. You can just think about it. Muse on it intellectually, abstractly. There's a little distance in that. There's a way in which something isn't fully engaged. So detachment, involvement.

[02:09]

And then another characteristic, not exactly what we might normally think of as concentration or focus, but concentration more as attending to what gets stirred up and how It comes into being and what comes into being. So it's more that the story turns our own thoughts and feelings. So as I read this story, you can watch all those play through your body, your mind, your breath, your thoughts, your memory. I cut out a little piece of this story just to make it a little bit more manageable. And the part that precedes, it's about the second patriarch, Kutke, and his journey to see the first patriarch, Bodhidharma.

[03:20]

And we studied this at tea. So for those of you who studied it before, to not overuse a well-used phrase. See, can you meet it with beginner's mind? Don't immediately conjure up with thoughts and opinions and sensibilities that were created in our previous discussion. See, can it be heard afresh and create whatever it creates now? Finally, you can reach the Bodhidharma's dwelling. and was not allowed to enter. So my first suggestion is, as I read through the whole thing, don't try to understand it. Just see what's notable. Is there a particular image, a particular part you find inspiring, a particular part you find disagreeable?

[04:25]

I don't agree with the implication. practice that's being expressed there. Particular part that you find irrelevant. Well, maybe in ancient China that had some relevance, but in San Francisco now it doesn't. Just to note. Not to suppress your own thoughts, but not to hold on to them as something that has to be persevered with as the truth. Finally, Hui Ke reached Bodhi Dharma's dwelling and was not allowed to enter. Bodhi Dharma did not turn around. Throughout the night, Hui Ke did not sleep, sit or rest. He stood firmly until dawn. The night snow seemed to have no mercy, piling higher and burying him up to his waist.

[05:31]

Every drop of his tears froze. Seeing his frozen tears, he shed even more tears. Looking at his own body, he thought to himself, a seeker in the past crushed his bones, extracted his marrow, squeezed his blood to feed the starving people. Another seeker laid down his hair on the mighty road to let the Buddha pass. Another threw his body off a cliff to feed a tiger. They were like that. Then, who am I? Thus, his aspiration became stronger. Those who study nowadays should not forget Huike's words. They were like that. Then, who am I? If we forget, we will drown for numberless kalpas. Thus, Huike addressed himself in this way. strengthening his aspiration for Dharma.

[06:32]

He did not mind being covered with snow. When we imagine the hair-raising ordeal of that long night, we're struck with terror. At dawn, Bodhi Darlit took notice and said, what do you seek? Why have you stood in the snow for so long? Shedding more tears, Vukkai said, all I wish is that you compassionately open the gate of sweet dew in order to awaken many beings. Bodhidharma said, the unsurpassed, inconceivable way of all Buddhas must be practiced hard and consistently for vast kalpas. You must bear what is unbearable. You must wish, but if you wish, with small virtue, small wisdom, and casual, arrogant mind, for the true vehicle. He would toil in vain. Then Huike was encouraged.

[07:34]

Unnoticed by Bodhidharma, he took a sharp knife, cut off his left arm, and offered it to him. Bodhidharma knew then that Huike was a Dharma vessel and said, when Buddhists first seek the way, they give up bodily form for the sake of Dharma. Now that I see your determination, you're invited to pursue the way here. Thus, Hu Ke entered Bodhidharma's inner chamber, attending to him with great diligence for eight years. Hu Ke was indeed an example and a great guide for humans and divas to follow. Such great diligence had not been heard of either in India or China. When it comes to smiling, you should study mahakashapa. When it comes to attaining the marrow, you should study hukke. Okay.

[08:37]

So if you would like to express in a word or a phrase what stood out for you in hearing that, Please do. Is that a container like this? Completely crazy, completely lovely. Excessive. Machial. He cried and cried.

[09:52]

Sorry? He cried and he cried. When he came out of the cold. Ow! Oh, I can do it. Oh, I'm the gay this week, too. They're all known as gold and know nothing about the armor. Did you just thought I'd have to do it? Did you just stop completely?

[10:54]

I'll let it be. Frozen tear drops in the snow. Frozen tear drops in the snow. Very pretty. Why did he cut off his left arm or not his? Why did he cut off his left arm and not his rug? What an enlightened man, Kyle, was on it. I don't know. I thought it was just on it.

[11:56]

I thought it was on it. So how to let what arises for you reveal the Dharma rather than just become another opportunity to become more entrenched in your own responses to being alive. enter the Dharma realm does the self get cut off is it sacrificed at the gate is that the price of admission

[13:37]

So seemingly Dogen Zenji considers this exemplary of great practice. The first part, something about many things, inside and outside. Bodhidharma is inside. is outside. There's a wonderful cawn that says, I'm not asking about Bodhigarma sitting in the cave. I'm asking about Huikai standing outside in the snow. You know, we can ask ourselves. When and how do I feel like I'm right in the middle, intimate, intense, fully engaged?

[15:01]

And when and how do I feel like I'm somehow on the outside yearning to get in? Whose approval do I need? What is the initiation? What is the separation? Can anyone else answer those questions for us? It's something about suffering. and how it's responded to. Something about responding to adverse conditions.

[16:17]

One life has not known suffering, has not experienced hardship. Maybe there are some, and are they blessed by such occurrences, rare occurrences, or are they hindered? And how is any one of these helped or hindered by our suffering, by our hardships? What is the involvement that allows the challenges, the hardships in our life to draw us deeper? you know, to reach down and find a resource than doing something out of this. What is it to not move away?

[17:21]

What is it to not be distracted, avoid, deny? hardship or the challenge of the suffering of our life. What is it to be grounded in our practice with a resolve that says, okay, things happen in human life. There's loss. There's disappointment. What is it to be disposed in a way to be of such a disposition that these will be fully met and they will allow something to ripen and deepen?

[18:22]

What is it to have our own repertoire of practice, inspirational images, archetypes, stories. I have a friend who's a young analyst, and she wrote a book on resilience. She was curious as to why some people have hardship and they crumble. Their lives are broken. Their spirit is broken. And they just live in that broken way. Some people have hardship. And they reach down and find something deep. A deep resource. And they go forward. Having known how much life can take away, what comes their way, they hold it with gratitude.

[19:41]

And she said the common thread, how she did the book was she just interviewed a lot of people who had really hard, difficult experiences and circumstances and came through them. She interviewed a young girl of about 19. And when she had been, I think about 11, both of her parents died of crack. And she had two younger siblings, seven and eight. And she raised her two siblings. She put herself through school. She put them through school. And she had this kind of joy. And my friend asked her, how did you get through all that?

[20:46]

And amazingly, she said, well, when I was in seventh grade, one day the teacher said, just keep a positive attitude. So every time things get difficult, I just said, just keep. positive attitude. You know, so whether we want to think of Chakyamuni Buddha in a former life, putting his hair down in the mud puddle so Dipankara Buddha could walk across it, or whether we want to think of the great Bodhisattva who saw the lion cubs, the tiger cubs hungry, so he threw it on his body so the tiger could eat it and feed her cubs. That's what inspires us. But is there something? Is there something way of engaging the challenges of a human life that were supported by something that inspires us?

[21:59]

How do we discover such a thing? How do we use such a thing? Those who study nowadays should not forget Huque's words. They were like that. Then who am I? If we forget, we'll drown for numinous kalpas. That Huque addressed himself in this way. strengthening his aspiration for Dharma. He didn't mind being covered by snow. Is that it? That when we're inspired our hardships turn into flower petals Or is it that we still suffer, but we are willing to suffer our suffering?

[23:19]

When we imagine the hair-raising ordeal of the long night, we're struck with terror. What part does fear in our negotiation of the difficulties in our life? Is that what hastens our retreat? Is it facing our fears that allows us to open up to something more powerful than just the determination to have it turn out the way I want it to turn out. So these questions and the questions that our mind and heart can conjure up, you know, they're inviting us to discover how to practice

[24:44]

continuously. You know, how to realize whether we're inside the cave or outside the cave. It's the opportunity for continuous practice. Whether you're inside the center or outside the center. Whether you're feeling grounded, confident, and harmonious. with what's going on in your life, or whether it feels disconnected. It's not going right. It's not what I hoped for. It's not what I planned. Can that be the grind of continuous practice? Or do we just hold our breath? Tighten our shoulders and our stomach and wait for it to end.

[25:46]

Last Saturday, I wrenched my knee quite badly. And so that I had to walk, you know, very purposefully because each step had hurt. And then the first couple of days, I thought, oh, well, this is a great opportunity. And the same when I bowed, you know, it's like when I bow, it hurt. And then it reminded me of a story. Once I saw this little video clip of someone in the dock, Andy. I don't know what age he was. He looked like he was 150. It was a video of him bowing. And he would struggle and he would get down to the floor. And it looked like he is not going to be able to get up. And then with great determination, he could back up and then he'd do it again.

[27:02]

And I forget if he did a full 108 prostrations every day, but he did a lot. And the video was just watching him bow. And then at the end, he just said, you know, I'm sure old, I shouldn't be dead. He said, so every day, every day is a good thing. And then his granddaughter brought in his great granddaughter and he held this little infant. Did he mean to put himself through all those vows? Is putting yourself through a whole bunch of hardship, a sure-fired way of getting to hold the shining Buddha baby?

[28:22]

Something about meeting our lives. So for the first couple of days, inspired by that story, I would bow. And Lucy said to me, why don't you just do standing vibes? And I thought, ah. It's nowhere near romantic enough. But then today, I noticed the novelty of it was starting to wear off. It was a little bit like, OK, can I go home now? I was like, this is great. Is it finished yet? So that too. That when we're inside our inspiration, and that is when our inspiration leaves us outside, can we still continuously practice?

[29:40]

And Bodhidharma says, what do you seek? What do you seek? All this great intrigue of inside and outside. What do you but that you're willing to stand in the middle of all this hardship? What is it that's supposed to be happening that isn't happening? Why do you stand in the snow for so long? I don't ask about Bodhidharma sitting in the cave. I ask about Huike standing outside in the snow. Shedding more tears, Huike said, all I wish is that you compassionately open the gate of Suikdu in order to awaken many beings.

[30:53]

I would say sometimes Part of the most painful part of our suffering is that it feels like we're suffering alone. And sometimes one of the supports of our suffering is to appreciate this is part of the human condition. that in so many ways, this is what's happening on our planet. And in so many tragic ways, we're causing it to ourselves. So many tragic ways, it's unnecessary. So can this be

[32:16]

also an opportunity to arise compassion. It's a challenge when we're suffering. It's a big challenge. Bodhidharma says, you must bear what is unbearable. And if it's unbearable, how can you bear it? And if you come at it with small virtues, small wisdom, and a casual, arrogant mind, it's not going to work. You'll toil in vain. Huyukai was encouraged.

[33:25]

Unnoticed by Bodhidharma, he took a sharp knife, cut off his left arm, and offered it to him. I think of this piece, this detail, it's like a Zen Roshak test. Some people want to stand up immediately and say, I object. is some misguided notion. And some people find it almost romantic in its dedication and determination. It's part of the story. Whether this is all a literal truth, and it happened exactly the way it's written here, or whether it's just a teaching device that someone made up and it caught on and got repeated, I'm not sure we'll ever know.

[34:49]

However, as a detail, that cutting off of the line is a consistent detail in this story. So I would say, isn't that interesting? What are the details that persist, real or imagined? It's a great thing we can ask ourselves. What are the details of my past that I persist in retelling myself and others? What makes them so significant and other ones just float away, unforgotten? Or forgotten? So there it is.

[35:51]

Is it something about self-sacrifice? Is it just a comment on the nature of determination and willingness to commit? it may be, Bodhidharma then knew that Vukke was a Dharma vessel and said, when Buddhists first seek the way, they give up bodily form for the sake of the Dharma. Now I see your determination. You're invited to pursue the way. Who is it that sees your determination? Who is it that needs to see your determination before you thoroughly trust and respect your all and sincere dedication?

[37:15]

Who is it that needs to see your determination before you are initiated into the Buddha, before what comes up within and without is just simply the grind of practice. What is a relationship to self that shifts to allow that initiation? That's when they entered Bodhidharma's inner chamber. Attending to him with great diligence for eight years, Hu Tei was indeed an example and a great guide for humans and dealers to follow. Such great diligence had not been heard of either in India or China.

[38:21]

When it comes to smiling, you should study Mahakashapa. The references, Shakyamuni holds up a flower. And Lahakashava smiles and realizes the nature of the Buddha way. When it comes to attaining the marrow, you should study hute. Maybe sometimes what life presents is like a flower. beautiful to see, delightful to smell, stirs in appreciation and in gratitude. Maybe sometimes life seems to present hardship

[39:36]

difficulty, challenge, exclusion, and asks for a determination, a diligence, a dedication. to let something in our own workings be settled and involved enough that these considerations turn us, open us, educate us, inspire us. Not because we're broken and we need to be fixed, but because of the magnificence of our potential, because of the tragedy when we lose hope, when we're broken, when we just strike out blindly and make others suffer,

[41:03]

be such a person that lets these weird Zen stories rattle through us in a way that gives rise to something that can be a true guide to our life. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:07]

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