This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. By a show of hands, how many of you mean that? Two, four, some. No, let me see. Good. I'm glad some of you didn't raise your hand. I think that's good. This side? Now, I have a better idea how I'm speaking this. Is it possible for people to fill in this space?

[01:25]

Can people, because I'm talking to the tatami mat here. Good. Great. Thank you. This is a poem from a woman named Lucille Clifton. Lucille Clifton was an American of African descent.

[02:43]

She lived from 1936 to 2010. This is her poem. Won't you celebrate with me what I have shaped? into a kind of life. I had no model born in Babylon, both non-white and woman. What did I see to be except myself? I made it up here. On this bridge between starshine and clay. My one hand holding tight my other hand.

[03:48]

Come, celebrate with me that every day something has tried to kill me and has failed. you celebrate with me what I have shaped into a kind of life. I had no model. Born in Babylon, both non-white and woman. What did I see to be except myself? I made it up here on this bridge. between starshine and clay, my one hand holding tight my other hand. Come, celebrate with me that every day something has tried to kill me and fail.

[05:00]

You know, in my practice life, I started practicing in 1968, probably before a number of you were born. And I used to feel that as I did this practice, which, by the way, is a journey of a lifetime. I used to feel that I needed to be fixed. And as I journeyed more and knew something, thought I knew something, I thought, I will help people. I will make them better. Clearly, people were suffering, so I wasn't suffering as much anymore, and I thought, I will hold out my hand to the people.

[06:26]

I will help them. That's why the word saved in those vows, if I may say, is incorrect. now feel that everybody's burden everybody's package of conditioning everybody's karmic weight is to be respected and I have a much more humble of a much more humble intimacy with everybody's path. She says here, what I have shaped into a kind of life.

[07:35]

When she says that, I thought to myself, What kind of life have I shaped? Whose responsibility is it for how I think, how I behave, how I respond to anything? What are my choices? What kind of integrity do I have that I base my decisions on? What kind of life have I made after all this? And whose responsibility is it anyway? She made a life with all the kind of burden that an individual and individual people who look different,

[08:41]

She made a life. She made it up. those of you who vowed to become a Buddha or a Bodhisattva, I ask you, I actually ask you, what do you think are the fundamental foundational skills that you need to develop to begin?

[09:47]

What would you say? If you were telling somebody else, I'm about to step on a path to become a Buddha, what do they need to learn first? Patience. What else? Humility is good. What else? These are all wonderful words. I totally agree. But what skills do you need? What skills do you need to walk this path? Set yourself aside, become the Buddha. Thank you, I wish I could do that. That's very good. How do you set yourself aside? What is Shikantaza? What else?

[11:03]

What other skills? What else? What is meditation for you? Spaciousness. It's good. What else? Pay attention. Yeah, all this is good. So fundamentally, what we do is we try to develop some kind of concentration to be able to bring the mind back. to the present moment so that the natural awareness that we are and manifest. Does that make sense? What did I leave out? Start with concentration. But that is not meditation. So what do you say meditation is? Does everybody agree with that?

[12:24]

Do you understand that? No? Yes? Yes? A little bit? Let's get a little deeper. What is it that we are not? Louder. Does everybody understand that we are not our thoughts? Who says we are our thoughts? Who says we are our thoughts? I mean, really, there's got to be somebody here who thinks we are our thoughts. Nobody? Look, come on, let's be honest. Because when we do have a thought, and then we behave according to that thought, or we are attached to that thought, we think that thought is true. How many of you do that? Okay. Is that a little bit more honest?

[13:25]

Do we have to be honest on this journey? Yes, we do. Okay. And I want to say something, too. If we have a thought over and over and over again that we can't let go of, that we actually do believe is what we are, or we believe it to be true, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. I think you should go to a therapist. I'm not kidding. How many people go to a therapist? Okay. Okay. Okay. Because meditation, in some ways, meditation in some ways can take care of it.

[14:29]

But first of all, it's not enough for some of these really deep confusions. And it'll take decades longer. Trust me. Decades longer. first part of the path we really have to know what the fundamentals are what's another fundamental how do we take care of how do you take care of how do you take care of when you believe a thought when you have a thought it's not a problem right you have a thought you let it go not a problem you have a thought comes with an emotion makes that thought a little bit more real If you feel it in your body, let your body go through its contraction, whatever it is, not a problem.

[15:36]

Is that right? This side of the room is very quiet. Is that right or not? Thank you. However, if you have a thought and it comes with an emotion, then what what makes that thought real correct if you have that thought with an emotion not a problem if you believe it your whole entire world arises you're separate you have a me and an identity with one identity of many, and you create, for the most part, probably, let's just say, dis-ease for now, or suffering for yourself, for other people.

[16:47]

So, our practice is, no matter what, that belief is, that reify. I love Vasubandha, by the way. You should all study Vasubandha. You should, if you reify, if you grab onto that thought, you create a separation. You create a me. And as soon as you do that, you create a world that is not true. It isn't true. Basubandhu. Basubandhu. I was reading Basubandhu recently for pleasure. And I came upon these words.

[17:59]

This was a koan. Does everybody know what a koan is? It's an inquiry. It's inquiry. You put a little question... When you're quiet, when the mind is kind of quiet, you put a question in the back of your mind, and it's there. Even all day long, it's just there. You wonder. It's a wonder. You wonder about it. And sometimes that can pop. That question can pop. And you get a response from the universe that oftentimes reveals something quite deep. So, for example, for me, this was my question. This was my question. My question was, what's the difference between consciousness and awareness? Not bad, huh? Right? We throw these words around all the time. Consciousness this, consciousness that. Awareness this, awareness that. Buddha mind this, Buddha mind that. True nature this, true nature that.

[19:01]

I'm laughing, but you know something? The teachings are really, really true. They are really true. They're true in the beginning. They're true in the middle. Well, there's not an end, but there's a kind of a crossover. They're really true. So I was wondering to myself, they're using these two words. What's the difference? What's happening? So I came across this passage in Vasubandhu. It says, Vasubandhu used the word jnana for consciousness. And I thought to myself, yes, that's right. Why? Do you want to know? I'll tell you. Do you want to know? Buddha mind, big mind, is here.

[20:04]

It is what we are. It is non-locatable. It is unconditioned. It is the knowing quality of mind. But when it is located in form, in this particular form, it becomes conditioned by these particular... these eyes, you know, these ears, it contracts into this location. That's consciousness. And the reason why it made me happy was because Vasubandhi uses the word vijjnana. And the vi part of vijjnana means division. It means divide. So vijjnana, is a divided consciousness, so that when you grab onto a thought, you have created a division in the world that doesn't exist.

[21:21]

You create a division in your reality that causes you suffering, that brings you suffering. When we, and this is, I had no intention of talking about this whatsoever. When we stay in the mind, when it's up here, the first thing that happens is, you know, we naturally, the mind naturally throws up thoughts. And it's not a problem, right? If we don't reify them and grab onto them. Buddha said the cause of suffering is what? Attachment. Exactly. Attachment to what? Thought. So when we use, when the mind uses, when the mind believes, when the thought comes up, we believe that thought, it creates division where there is none, no division.

[22:26]

Hearing that bird, okay, that bird is not over there. You drop your attention from the mind. Do it now. If you drop your attention from the mind, just drop it to the heart. Close your eyes a minute. Let your attention, like honey, just roll down your head. down the back or the front or the side, and bring all of your attention to the heart area. Listen to the bird from your heart.

[23:50]

Okay, it got silent. Let your attention, let your heart open to the person to the left of you and include that person in your heart. Just let your heart grow to the left. that's kind of established. Let your heart grow into the space to your right from the heart and include the person to your right in your heart space. established let your heart grow open in the back let it open in the back and let the person in back of you be included in your heart space

[25:25]

established let your heart open in the front just let just breathe into the space and let the heart the whole room let your heart open to the whole room wide as it can go Nothing in the way. Everything included. It means including yourself as well. Now listen to the bird. From your heart. When you're ready, open your eyes, but see through the heart.

[26:47]

When you open your eyes, look, let your heart do the looking. The true. This is true. When you allow yourself to live from the heart, there's no separation. Your heart includes everything. This path that we're on is the path of the heart.

[27:56]

It's not an intellectual path. That's why when there's transmission, there are two parts to transmission. One part is the wisdom side. The other side is the precepts. Precept side is Zen heart practice. The first level, what you usually study is don't. Don't gossip. Do not gossip. Don't gossip. Don't say things bad about people. Second level is compassion. Do no harm. You can lie if somebody asks you if they look good tonight on their way out to dinner.

[29:11]

You say, yes, you look great. level. Recepts. Do not make division. Do not ghost anybody. Do not exclude anybody from your heart. That's our practice. Zen is a heart practice. So for those of you who in the beginning responded with your hand up, that you vow to become a Buddha, what you're vowing to do is to live from the heart, making no division, excluding no one, nobody.

[30:21]

yourself first, excluding nobody. This is our life. This is our effort. And it's each of our responsibility. Nobody else. Somebody else can guide, you know, can point. The teachings are totally helpful. But they cannot do it for you. You cannot blame anybody if you're not growing, blooming as the perfect person you are meant to be. Suzuki Roshi said that, so it must be true. Everybody is perfect, exactly the way we are. exactly the way we are. First.

[31:28]

And then later, we can use some improvement only if you're suffering. You know, if you're not suffering, then no, you don't need any improvement. Or if you're not causing somebody else suffering, either. I'm lost. Oh, rose. This rose is not perfect. Although, on second look, it's actually quite beautiful, isn't it? It's perfect exactly the way it is. And because human beings have messed with nature, it doesn't have a scent. Because they wanted to make it more perfect. Because we're greedy. Can't settle for life being enough.

[32:31]

Are you kidding me? Life is not enough? Really? It took me a lifetime to allow myself that truth. A lifetime. You better than I. You do better than I did. I was going to say, hurry up. You don't have to hurry up. You take the amount of time that it takes because it's not under your control. Because life is doing itself out in these particular places. You just do the best you can to stay open, practice, stay present, stay awake, and let go. Do not grasp anything, especially thought.

[33:42]

And it's not bad. And then, right before I say that, I want to say, There are two things that people do that are difficult. Sometimes people have lots and lots of energy. It's easier to work with people like that. It's very hard to work with people who suppress everything. So if you have tendency to suppress, get a little messy. Please. And if you have tendency to be too messy, blow it down. Reb, who's a wonderful person, I love Reb, but he had a kind of a big, he used to have a very big personality sort of thing. And he used to, people would get something anyway, whatever, the person's responsibility anyway.

[34:49]

But he was told, he said that people told him, Reb, Reb, stop it. Let's say people are standing next to you, okay? don't go like this and knock everybody over. They said, go like this. You can still be who you are, but be a little bit careful. Listen. But it's worth it. It's more than worth it. I can't even speak about it. a gift and the profundity is ineffable it's you know the funny thing is when they say they talk about it they say just this is it you know or

[36:09]

I wanted to dedicate this talk. Oh, I have a poem. No, I'll dedicate because we don't have time. I love having a teacher. To my teachers. Teachers. To... Suzuki Roshi, who helped me see what's possible. And Jhumpa, who helped me feel what real compassion feels like. And Katagiri, who was my, I loved him most. taught me how to live like what life, how to be able to live, how to do life.

[37:27]

And Rev, who let me be, she said twice, thank you very much, I needed it. Mel, who picked me up when I needed to be picked up. And Adyashante, who I say this and to all of the people in our lineage from Buddha who did their work so that we could have the teaching. Please do your best for them.

[38:35]

They've given this to us. It's a gift. So use it well. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:13]

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