This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for being you. And thank you for inviting me to talk today on the Tenso Kyokun, Dogen, send Master Dogen's instructions to the head cook. Normally, well, a little aside here, but on Monday I'm having cataract surgery, so if I have...

[01:03]

So if I talk here again, I'll be able to see you all a little better. That's the idea anyway of having cataract surgery. See how it goes. There's an expression in Zen that to give instruction is to gouge a wound in good flesh. You know, each of you has a good heart, a good mind, a good spirit, a sacred nature as well as... you know, any particular characteristic that you can assess on how others may say about you or you may assess yourself.

[02:14]

We use a lot of measuring sticks, you know. So, but in addition to man, woman, age, characteristics, you know, where each of us, each of you, sacred, the sacred spirit. So I try to be careful not to gouge your wound in good flesh. You already have this. It's also called, of course, beginner's mind. You have a beginner's mind. which we all thought Suzuki Roshi came up with this expression, Zen mind, beginner's mind. And it turns out that he got it from studying Zen.

[03:23]

And Dogen in the show Bogenso says, beginner's mind is the essential original awakening, enlightenment. Oh. So you have this beginner's mind. You are this beginner's mind. Pema Chodron used an expression to mention this, saying, you are the sky, everything else. That's the weather. But you yourself are the sky. So... Partly to have instruction is to remind yourself, to remind you that you're the sky and you are a beginner's mind. So as I talk today, I will share some of my understanding, some of my practice in Zen.

[04:32]

And When I began, you know, I met Suzuki Roshi. And so I'm, along with sharing Zen Master Dogen's words from the instructions to the cook, I will share some of Suzuki Roshi's teachings. Our life unfolds. And we don't necessarily plan it. Robert Bly said late in his life in one of his poems, My life has turned out like this. I didn't plan it. I don't know how it happened. But...

[05:38]

I was at Tassajara. I went to Tassajara and started working in the kitchen. The last year it was a resort. And I started as a dishwasher and I learned to bake bread. And then Zen Center bought Tassajara. And I had been practicing at Zen Center before going to Tassajara. I had two months experience cooking. And San Sender said, would you be the head cook? Oh, okay. And as you know, whether it's cooking or so many things in our life, you're on the spot. and it works out the way it does.

[06:40]

And there will be successes and failures and you will stay with the circumstances and the situation or you will go on to other ones. So I had no idea what I was saying yes to. When I got to Tassajara to be the cook after the winter time. The kitchen that I had worked in was no longer there. It had been, you know, it's a different era, isn't it? But the kitchen that I had worked in had been taken down because the people living there over the winter had heard that Before we opened Tassajara, we'd have to have a new kitchen. So they thought they'd get started by taking down the old one. There wasn't a phone that was working.

[07:45]

And we don't know exactly how this all happened, but there was no kitchen. Or there was a little tiny kitchen. And the people working in the kitchen said to me, I said, where's the salt? And they said, bed at Tassajara. we don't use salt. Oh, really? Why not? And they said, salt is bad for you. I said, oh, what's bad about salt? Oh, well, you know. And I said, no, I don't know. Anyway, The story of my life, I don't know what to do in these situations. Do I care about what you say? Do I not care? So at the time, we had a spiritual authority called Suzuki Roshi.

[08:54]

So I went to see the spiritual authority and I said, Roshi, People working in the kitchen tell me I can't use salt. What am I going to do? And he said, Ed, you're the cook. You do what you want. You're the cook. You do what you want. So this is a very interesting point. And I've been studying how to be the cook ever since. And in his way, Zen Master Dogen, in the instructions for the cook, says the same thing. He says, if you don't arouse the mind of enlightenment, you will not have success in the kitchen. And another way of saying arousing the mind of enlightenment is, you are the cook.

[10:01]

And it's up to you. And this is interesting because it's up to you means when you're in your kitchen, when you're in your life, you're sitting in your body, your mind, it's your practice, you're the cook. How will you do you? What will you use in your cooking? So when I do cooking classes, I suggest to people, I say, when you get home, You're the cook. In my class, I'm the cook. So you do what I say. Or you don't do what I say, but I'm offering you opportunities to do something differently than you might do in your kitchen when you get home. You can decide whether you want to continue that practice or go on doing what you used to do or you keep coming up with the way you're going to do it. So you listen to people. What should you eat? Uh-huh.

[11:03]

What's a good diet? What's a healthy diet? What's the right diet? What's the politically correct diet? And then what's the Buddhist way? And originally, of course, Buddhist monks and nuns went out begging for food. I have thirst. I have hunger. They don't say that, but they... ask for food. And then you eat what you're offered. So that's one tradition. And Zen, we keep thinking about it. Eat what is offered. And This is, again, an extremely important point.

[12:07]

Because when you're the cook, do you try to follow the rules, the instructions, the orders? Or do you do you? Do you do what you decide? Or do you follow, oh, that's the authority I'm going to follow. Sometimes you follow the authority and in sin it's called putting another head above your head. Was your head on straight or is there some problem about your head? And your capacity to decide what to do? So we're both listening. requests and instructions and teachings, and then we do something.

[13:13]

And in the instructions to the cook, Dogen says, it's the cook's job to make reverential offerings to the assembly. all of your life. It's nothing but a reverential offering. And you know, when I was the cook at Tassajara, it's the beginning. So after the meal, people would come into the kitchen and tell us what was wrong with the food. Now that's not allowed. Now go talk to the director. You know, go talk to one of the other officers. Don't go into the kitchen and start telling the cooks. So somebody would come into the kitchen and say, the oatmeal was way too thick this morning.

[14:22]

Didn't your mother teach you? Oatmeal needs to be really well cooked because in the morning your digestion is really weak and the oatmeal is really well cooked. It's easy to digest and then you can eat it and you can digest it. So if the oatmeal is wet, then another group of people comes in and they say, Ed, we're working really hard. We're digging a septic tank by hand. It's cold. We don't have any meat to eat. Could we at least have oatmeal you could chew? Come on! Help us out here! So then I thought, well, I'll put raisins in the oatmeal. Then another third group of people comes in the kitchen. Why are you poisoning us? Because...

[15:23]

You know, people have different ideas. But at that time, sin macrobiotics was big. And sugar was poison. So raisins, I was poisoned in them. And they used to say, if you eat the right food, you will have a calm mind. So apparently, they weren't eating the right food that often because they were angry a lot. about the food. So what do you do? What will you do to get it right? And Dogen's instruction to the cook is to practice with a sincere and wholehearted mind. Do practice sincerely.

[16:25]

Make wholehearted endeavor. And of course, a big point at that time, and nowadays it's not always recognized, but don't waste food. One grain of rice is a whole field of rice. Don't waste a grain of rice. And that takes, so that's a different kind of focus than can you make everybody happy? Can you please everyone? What will you do to please everyone? Everyone who comes at you from this direction and that direction, and with this argument, with that argument, how will you do it? What will you do? So sincere is, you know, so I decided to make sincere effort.

[17:32]

I decided to make a wholehearted effort. The other thing that Suzuki Roshi had told me was when he said, you're the cook, he said, you do what you want. He didn't say you don't listen to other people. You just decide what to do, and you do that. You don't listen to them, you don't adjust, you don't... But at some point you decide. You do what you want. And this, by the way, comes up in sitting. You know, there's a form to sitting. And at the same time, you do what you want. Because you have your experience. we call it formal practice with informal feeling. So if you just do the form, I'm getting it right. And if you do the form, but informal feeling, and you're alive inside and your life is unfolding, and Suzuki Roshi in Zenmang Beginner's Mind says,

[18:50]

Each moment is a complete flashing into the world, into the phenomenal world. Each moment of your life is complete flashing into the phenomenal world. Oh, it's like this. Oh, it's like that. Oh. So I decided to practice with sincerity. And wholeheartedly. And whatever you do, you know, it goes wrong. But sincere is a very interesting word. You know, the S-I-N is for without, like sans, S-A-N-S in French. And sere is wax. And it goes back to the use of wax with bronze statues. You could fill in the blemishes and the bronze. with wax, dyed, made the color of the bronze.

[19:54]

So how good are you? We used to call it, back in my day at Zen Center, looking good. We practiced looking good. So what about sincere practice? What would that look like? And you look, maybe, you know, in today's language, well, good enough. But not perfect, maybe. So one of the things I started doing at that time at Teshara, I got rubber spatulas, heat resistant rubber spatulas, and I would wipe out the leftovers when they came back to the kitchen.

[20:59]

And I would use the leftovers. And not always so successfully and deliciously. But Suzuki Rishi's way of saying sincere and wholehearted effort was, you know, it's more colloquial Zen. When you wash the rice, wash the rice. When you cut the carrots, cut the carrots. When you stir the soup, stir the soup. So I thought, oh, that's for me. But, you know, when you practice Zen, when you live your life, whether you're practicing Zen or not, it's your life. And when you hear the Tenso Kyokan, there are words that come to you, and then you say, oh, that's for me.

[22:05]

Oh, yes, I'm going to try that out. I'm going to practice that. So partly you're studying in Zen how you study, how you learn. how you take things to heart, how you set things aside, what you set aside, what you take to heart, what you rely on, what you count on. So you'll see what you do with your one wild and precious life. That's from Mary Oliver, you know. That's another way of saying your life, you know, you yourself are beginner's mind. Mary Oliver at the end of summer's day says, what will you do with your one wild and precious life? And moment after moment we're deciding.

[23:09]

And on one hand things are coming to us and on the other hand we're responding. So there's a lot of, you know, at the same time that I was trying to practice Zen, I also wanted to be, you know, acclaimed. I'm sure none of you want to be acclaimed. Do you? You want acclaimed? You want recognition? Not me.

[24:17]

Anyway, I wanted to be known as a good cook. It's kind of funny, isn't it? And then how can you be known as a good cook when you can't even cook oatmeal the way that everybody likes? What are you going to do? And you make a sincere offering to the assembly. You do something with your heart and you do something with care. Saint Master Dogen talks about, do not fail to add even one drop of water to the ocean of merit. Do not neglect adding even one speck of dirt to the summit of the mountain of wholesome deeds. What does that have to do with fame anyway? with your notoriety. And can you put that on your resume?

[25:19]

Okay. So, just to say, I don't know what to tell you. Each of you will, you know, again, you're you. And I appreciate your you and that you're finding out how to do you and studying how to do you and be you and express yourself. You'll see and you'll find thing moment by moment. But I'm going to share with you briefly, if I can. You know, at one point, I got really... I was trying to practice Zen, and I was trying to do what Dogen says in the instructions to the cook.

[26:35]

You do everything that everybody else is doing, and you cook. So don't miss morning sasen. Don't miss evening sasen. Don't miss the services. Don't miss anything. And cook. And if I sat down in the afternoon, if I sat down, I would fall asleep. And I got tired. And I thought, oh, I've never been this tired in my life. And then I got more tired. Oh, oh, there's more tired. Oh, I've never been this tired. I can't believe how tired I am. Then I got more tired. But we were practicing Zen. Do not fail to add one speck of dirt to the summit of the mountain of wholesome deeds.

[27:39]

Then I finally couldn't get up. And various things happened. You know, this was before we had formal practice of somebody comes to check on you why you're not where you're supposed to be. You know, a sign seat in the Zendo, the Tenkin looks in the Zendo, who's not here? Okay, we'll go find him. And sometimes at some monasteries and temples, you know, there are people like, I've never failed to get my man. I've never failed to bring them in. I've always gotten them to show up at the Zendo. Nobody's ever gotten away. So, you know, there's various attitudes about, are you okay? why aren't you in this endo like you said you'd be?

[28:46]

So what is the attitude? What is the mind you bring? And Dogen says, don't see with ordinary eyes, don't think with ordinary mind. But this is before anybody would come, so when I got tired and wasn't getting up, nobody came. Nobody comes to see you. It was the summertime. It was very hot. The air was dusty. I thought, what am I doing? See, we go through these things. This is human life. What am I doing? I want people to like my cooking. Does anybody ever like your cooking?

[29:53]

Before the food comes, tell the cook it has to be better tomorrow. And you keep on giving this keep on producing, keep on. It's also known as you're only as good as your last performance. I thought, oh, that's not going to work. I'm not going to be known for my cooking. And why do I want to be known for my cooking? Well, if I was known for my cooking, then maybe I could like myself. I would have Some acclaim. I could like a person with acclaim. Oh, I don't have any acclaim. How could I like me? Oh my, I don't like me. Uh-oh. I had no idea I didn't like me until I tried cooking and pleasing everybody. And it didn't work. And I couldn't ever get enough evidence that enough people like me to convince me to like me.

[31:04]

And I thought, damn it. I'm just going to have to like myself anyway. Geez, without any evidence. People say, how do you do that? And I say, well, awkwardly at first. Because you're just not very good at it until you get better. But then this is the work of a lifetime. How do you do it? How do you decide to be kind and good-hearted, warm-hearted with you along with your practice and your cooking and your life and your relationships. So I'd like to go on to another aspect of the Tensokuyukun. And of course you can study it for yourself and see

[32:06]

Again, if there's a teaching that comes to you, that draws you in. When Dogen says, don't see with ordinary eyes, don't think with ordinary mind, he also says, pick up a leaf of cabbage and see a 16-foot golden Buddha. Look at a 16-foot golden Buddha and pick up a leaf of cabbage. There's this, you know, always, you know, meeting the phenomenal world The sacred world.

[33:08]

Leaf of cabbage, 16 foot golden Buddha. And this points out the teaching or the understanding that often we're busy trying to make really good food, say, or make things right, do things the way they're supposed to be done. Is there a 16-foot golden Buddha or is it the profane world, trying to fix the profane world and make the profane world look good? What are you up to? And you can only make the profane world look good, and then you can get acclaim, and then you're only as good as your last performance, and then you're going to have a lot of stress to keep your stars.

[34:23]

Anybody who's in these three, four star restaurants, everybody says it's terribly stressful. Everybody I've talked to, Because your performance has to still be better than it was. And what you cook has to be predictable. It has to be repeatable. So you have to repeat and repeat and repeat and do it the way it's supposed to be done and do it the five-star way and do it Do it, do [...] it. And is there any sacred in that? Is there any sincerity in that? Is your warm heart in that? Is your love there? How will we have... You know, Raymond Carver was quite a good story writer, and it turns out his editor...

[35:38]

fixed his story so they would sell. And then Raymond Garber had a whole period of his life where he was an alcoholic and he struggled. And towards the end of his life he wrote a short poem. It might have been called Last Fragment. And did you get what you wanted in this world after all? Yes, I did. And what was it you wanted? I wanted to call myself beloved. I wanted to belong in this world. So where is our connection with everything when we're busy trying to do it right and do it the way it's supposed to be done and do it Do it and repeat that that's been recognized as being good and has the stars.

[36:41]

So it turns out that practice, practice in a way, and Dogen says in the instructions, practice in a way that things come home to your heart. And things come and abide in your heart. And your heart goes out and abides in things. So this connection, heart connection with the phenomenal world, your heart is the source of the sacred. So you're letting things come home to your heart, Suzuki Roshi said. Let your heart go out and abide in things. And take care of things with your heart. that things touch your heart. Nothing to it, right? The hardest thing in the world. And we have so many other ideas of, I will be above, I will be above the pain, I will be indifferent to the pain, I will be beyond the pain, I will be, I will come home to your heart.

[38:04]

Oh, my poor heart. So you let things touch you, and when things touch you, It's like a leaf of cabbage being a 16-foot golden Buddha. The sacred is there when things touch you. When you're following your breath in meditation, and then from time to time you notice, oh, still. sacred. And other times...

[39:10]

a couple more points and we can finish up I want to come back at least briefly to you know do you follow the instructions or do you do you and this is so important because You know, we're doing both. But on the other hand, if you follow instructions, then you think that life is about being in the position of the person giving out the instructions. I will get better at giving out the instructions. I will become the person who gives out the instructions. We also call this, you know, excuse me, I'll tell you another story about Suzuki Roshi.

[40:59]

But occasionally he would talk during Zazen, usually the second period of Zazen of the fifth day of Sushin. And one time he said, you think that you are the student and I am the teacher. And I will tell you things that you don't know. That's wrong thinking. You think that I will give you answers that you don't have. That's a wrong idea. Sometimes the teacher is the student. Sometimes the student is the teacher. Sometimes the teacher bows to the student. Sometimes the student bows to the teacher. And he went on talking, and then he would leap up with his little stick and go, his was straight.

[42:02]

And he'd go over, we were all sitting facing the wall, you know, and he would tap the first person, and then if he tapped you, you know, you'd get out of the way, bow, and he would hit you twice. And then you'd bow. And the first person he tapped and hit, he'd say, who is the teacher? And then the second person, who is the student? Bap, bap. Who is the teacher? Bap, bap. Who is the student? And after six or eight people, he ran out of breath and just went around and hit the other 90 people. but we are also then studying relationship with our own body-mind. So to put this in the context of food and cooking, what should the food taste like?

[43:15]

How do you know if the food is good or not? And normally, or oftentimes, we think, well, I followed the recipe. Do you have a problem with it? Well, you don't like the food? Well, I followed the recipe. I'm good. You don't like the food? Well, I followed the instructions. I put in the amounts it said. Suppose you just cooked. You have no deniability. You don't like my heartfelt effort? Uh-oh. But when I started doing cooking classes back in the 80s, we would taste things.

[44:24]

One day we were, one of the first things, I would open up canned tomatoes and then we would add different kinds of chilies and different other ingredients, roasted, ground roasted sesame seeds or unsweetened cocoa or roasted garlic. We would add, and we would make four, three, four, five different tomato sauces, spicy tomato sauces. To start with, well, let's taste the canned tomatoes. So I would get four or five kinds of canned tomatoes. Let's see if we can taste the difference between them. Let's taste the tomatoes. And then people would say, what should we be tasting? Because if you're going to have an experience, shouldn't you have the right one? And shouldn't you train yourself to produce the right experience rather than just having the experience you might have?

[45:27]

Isn't that the point? That you have the right experience? What should you be tasting? What should in meditation, what should you be experiencing? What should life look like? What should your mind be like? What should your body be like? And then You know, straighten it out. We live in a culture like this. So are we going to give out instruction and manage, or are we going to say, oh, what do you taste like? What are you feeling now? What are you sensing? What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What's your experience? Oh, and would you be willing to share your heart's song with me? So in meditation and in practicing, whether it's in meditation or in cooking, you taste what you put in your mouth.

[46:41]

You experience what you experience. You set aside, is it the right one to have? And it turns out that when you do that, The sacred is there. It's a complete flashing into the phenomenal world. So I'm going to share a poem with you to finish up. It's a poem by Rilke, Rainer Maria Rilke. It's, of course, originally in German. I use a translation that is mostly Stephen Mitchell, but also I translated it with a friend of mine, Hermann Claussen, who survived the firebombing of Hamburg when he was three years old. So this is a translation of Ryoka.

[47:53]

It's a poem about food, about a taste in an apple. That in its way, for me, is an expression of so many things that Dogen talks about in Instructions to the Cook. Round apple. Smooth banana, melon, gooseberry, peach. How all this affluence speaks death and life in the mouth. Surprises you, doesn't it? Round apple, smooth banana, melon, gooseberry, peach. How all this affluence speaks death. and life in the mouth. I sense, observe it in the child's transparent features while she tastes.

[48:55]

This comes from far away. What miracle is happening in your mouth while you eat? Instead of words, discoveries are flowing out of the flesh of the fruit, astonished to be free. Dare to say what apple truly is, the sweetness that feels thick, dark, dense at first, then exquisitely lifted in your taste grows clarified, awake, luminous, double-meaning, sunny, earthy, real, oh, knowledge, pleasure, joy, immense. Practice in such a way that things come and abide in your heart. Your heart goes out and abides in things. An apple isn't just an apple.

[49:59]

It's an expression, complete flashing into the world, into the phenomenal world. And you can meet it. that complete flashing with your complete flashing, and the complete flashing of an apple in your tasting. And, you know, sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. So, I'd like to wish you well with your... going forward. And some of you are in the, have a one-day sitting today, sashing, and are in an upcoming practice period. So I'd like to wish you well with your practice and study, with being you, with you being you. More than once, as a guru, she said, when you are you, Zen is Zen.

[51:10]

And he used to say, Zen is to settle the self on the self. When you are you, Zen is Zen. Thank you so much for being you and studying how to go on being you. the work of a lifetime. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[52:11]

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