This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. In the midst of all the cries of the world, where we gather here in this meditation hall. rises to ask the question, how does consciousness, how does consciousness appear to you now?

[01:27]

Is there awareness? Is a body appearing in consciousness? No. Is a body appearing in consciousness? No. Is the body, in its appearing, is it breathing? In the midst of the cries of the world, are the cries of the world

[02:53]

appearing in consciousness? Is the body appearing in consciousness? Is the body breathing? Is there an appearance of breathing in consciousness? Is there appearance of the bodies of friends?

[03:54]

bodies of friends appearing in consciousness. By the sound of words appearing in consciousness. Is there a wish to hear the teachings of perfect wisdom given by the gentle Buddhist? Do you wish to taste the truth of perfect wisdom?

[05:19]

The people who just came in, you can sit on the edge of the platform if you want to. family style of Zen, we encourage each other to the mindful of our posture of breathing as a basic ongoing awareness, as a basic attention to listen to the cries of the world. of our breathing body and then mindful of the cries of the world we are encouraged to practice compassion I'm here with this body this body is here with me there's a sense of me being here with this body

[06:42]

this body breathing with me even with this breathing body and in that context I listen to the cries of all beings and wish to practice compassion and also in In the Zen school we tell stories about ancestors. We tell ancestral stories. Sometimes we tell stories about what happened today or yesterday. And sometimes those stories turned into ancestral stories for future generations.

[07:50]

this morning in consciousness there appeared the thought that I was expected or I said I'd give a talk this morning and in a way it really is inappropriate that I should come with nothing? How can I come with nothing? You know, it's a deep sense of responsibility to you who will come here. And I feel that I'm being jealous even though I didn't bring anything.

[09:34]

But I want to offer myself nakedly to you. And then the story came to my appearing consciousness. And this story is a story about... It's a story about a Chinese Zen person. And his name was Jindi. It came to my mind and I thought maybe I would offer that story. And there was a little girl in the room with me who wanted me to open various medicine bottles to her.

[10:50]

She had lots of things she wanted me to do while I was contemplating this story about beauty. And I confess that I wasn't consistently aware of the body breathing. pushing away her many requests for me to entertain her. Still, without resisting her, I was able to bring this book in which I found a story about Jiddi. The story's called Jiddi's One Finger. And as I see the story in consciousness, I'm also wondering in my consciousness whether I'm using this story to cover myself, to hide from it.

[12:20]

So I want to tell you that I'm... I'm in this situation with Judy. And it looks like I'm going to tell you Judy's story. But I... I also am concerned with your welfare. I'm concerned that while I tell the story, the body that's appearing in consciousness, and there were if it appears. I mean, the perfect wisdom of the gentle Buddhas, even though I'm talking. So in this book, the story of Judy is very simple. It is that whenever... the Master Judy was asked a question, he would just raise one finger.

[13:41]

It doesn't say which one. I saw a painting of Master Judy and he had this finger raised, this big one, the thumb. And I think at the time of this painting, there wasn't the term thumbs up. And this is an Asian painting, so it probably doesn't have the Roman emperor-imperial associations. But anyway, that's how the painting was. It had the thumb up. I'm sorry, I forgot to bring a painting. I wanted to look at it to see if he was smiling. So that's the basic story of beauty.

[14:49]

It is, really, that's all it says here. That's the main story. As a Zen teacher, when students asked questions, she would always just raise one finger. And we don't know which one. Actually, we don't even know whose finger he raised. Might have been somebody else's nearby. And then there's an expansion on the story. An expanded version which is even more famous than the simplified version.

[15:55]

The expanded version of Judy's story is more well known than the story presented in this simple way. Before I tell the expanded story, I want to tell, I want to expand the story even more. And this part of the story is not usually told. The name Judy actually is the name of a mantram or a dharani, a Buddhist incantation or spell. which he chanted all the time, as a meditation, as a verbal invocation of concentration, he did this chant, which is associated with Guan Yin, the bodhisattva of infinite compassion.

[17:08]

He did this chant, and he did it so much that people named him after this chant, this Judy, this Bujudi Durrani. So he practiced this meditation in a hut on Mount Tiantai in China. That mountain had many, many monks living on it. So he was one of them living on a hut, practicing this incantation associated with compassion to develop concentration in great compassion. And one night, one rainy night, a nun came to his hut

[18:13]

this nun's name is or was the nun's name is Shirji which means in English reality a nun named reality comes to visit him on a rainy night she enters his room with her hat rain hat on and walks, circumambulates him, walks around him three times and says, if you can speak, I'll take off my hat. Reality comes into his room, walks around him three times and says, if you can speak, I'll take off my hat. But Judy cannot say anything.

[19:22]

So she starts to leave. And he calls out and said, it's late and dark. Why don't you stay the night? And reality says, if you can speak, I'll stay. And he cannot speak. And she leaves. And then he laments at her departure. Judy laments And Judy says, though I am in the body of a man, I don't have the spirit of a man.

[20:29]

And then he considered abandoning his meditation hut and going to travel to study. perhaps to find a teacher to help him find his spirit so he could speak to reality. But that night, the spirit of the mountains, the spirit of Mount Tiantai said to him, you don't need to leave this mountain. There will be a great enlightening being who will come and teach the true Dharma to you.

[21:31]

So Judy did not leave. As it turned out, after 10 days, a master named Tianlong, which means celestial dragon, arrived at Judy's hut. Judy welcomed him, bowing in all sincerity, and recounted the former story. of his meeting with reality. Celestial dragon raised a finger and pointed to Judy.

[22:39]

And Judy's practice turned to realization, great realization. And then from then on, now the master Judy would always just raise one finger. He had an attendant, a boy attendant. And once the boy attendant was asked by some people outside the temple, what is your teacher's teaching? And the boy raised one finger. Master Judy,

[23:48]

cut off the boy's finger with a knife. And the boy ran off screaming. And Judy said, What is it? Or, Where are you going? And the boy turned around and Judy raised one finger. And the boy's practice turned from to enlightenment. I apologize if this story is shockingly violent. if it appears in consciousness as violent.

[24:56]

Today I feel that this story is about me. And this story is offered to help each of you see that this story is about you. Today I feel like the cutting of the finger, the cutting off of the finger, is not about appearances. It's not about the body that appears in consciousness. it about?

[26:26]

And also, there's also the part, not just the cutting off, but the screaming, the shock of the finger being taken off. What's that shock about? What is it that's cut off? That's shocking to be cut off that opens us to hear the true dharma that helps us turn from practice to enlightenment to realize that what we're doing now is reality, is meeting reality. Now that the story's been introduced, I'm checking again on the meditation on the breathing posture.

[27:56]

And in that meditation, I don't know what this story's about. And I don't think this breathing posture is about anything. I'm just paying attention to it. And now I think, well, maybe what needs to be cut off is to think that this life is about something, that the teachings are about something, that the story is about something, that the one finger is about something. What could the one finger be? Perhaps it could be the truth. Perhaps this one finger could be the truth that he couldn't meet, the reality he couldn't meet. This finger's not about, this finger's not about reality.

[29:01]

Is this finger reality? Or is this finger just saying, I'm meeting reality and talking to it. Or I'm talking reality. I'm speaking for her. There's a sentiment that wants to say, I feel so good today because now I understand that Judy didn't really cut off the boy's finger.

[30:46]

That's just a metaphor for the way he taught. that his teaching of raising one finger was cutting other people's fingers off so they could raise one finger. But I'd like to cut that explanation off too. Not I'd like to. I think we all should. I think we all should.

[32:01]

Should what? Should cut off. What? What would be good to cut off? I feel pretty naked now.

[34:04]

I'm kind of trying to relax with making everything okay. But the question is still there. I could try to take it back, It's too late. Where do we go from here? I don't feel like copying Judy for the rest of my life.

[35:11]

Out of respect for him, I'm not gonna raise my hand to that question. And I'm not even gonna say over and over, and I'm not gonna say every time, the questions asked where do we go from here I'm not going to say every time that's a good question but I said it once but it seems like I am going to say what's the most important thing in life to you What's the most important thing to be accomplished in your life? And is there anything that's distracting you from that?

[36:28]

And is there anything that helps you be focused on that? And are you ready to focus on what's most important? And are you ready to let go of distractions from what's most important to you? Are you ready to let go of anything distracting from what's most important to you? And if you're not ready, are you getting ready to let go of distraction from what's most important to you?

[37:38]

holding back the gesture of raising one finger the one finger which says this is most important there's something that's most important and I'm remembering it right now and I'm devoted to it right now sincerely wholeheartedly devoted to what's most important And each of us, reality says, each of us has an opportunity to speak. And if we speak, she'll take her hat off to us and say, I'm here. And I didn't get distracted by that.

[39:20]

We don't own Judy's one finger. He doesn't own it. But there is this one finger, and it's pointing at us, and it's saying, what's most important in life? And do you want to take care of it, undistractedly? Do you want to? Do I want to? Yes, I do. Do I wish to not be distracted? I wish to not be distracted. I thank Judy for reminding me to not be distracted. To practice speaking what's most important.

[40:30]

and inviting reality to stay the night. And with this intimate relationship with reality, where you can't say it's this or not, and yet we take care of it. So this is the story I offer you today. And I thank you for listening to this difficult story, if it was difficult. I felt it was. I had a difficult time telling you. You had a difficult time perhaps listening.

[41:34]

Thank you very much. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:09]

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