Truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning, everyone. Well, although I was scheduled to lead the June one-day sitting, I'm actually not going to be able to spend the day with you due to this injury that occurred. So I'm sorry not to be here for the day, but we'll be here through the morning, and

[01:00]

and I don't know who else is taking care of the details of the sitting, but many different students will help make the one-day sitting calm and well taken care of. So I just wanted to say a little bit about what happened and just how I've been practicing with this injury. Week ago, yesterday, I finished a Zen and Yoga workshop, co-leading a Zen and Yoga workshop at Tassajara with Judith Lasseter, the Iyengar Yoga teacher, and it was a wonderful week at Tassajara with Zazen and Dharma discussion every day and half an hour of yoga in the

[02:02]

morning, more active asanas, and then a big break so that people had a chance to enjoy hiking in the baths and the pool and Tassajara life, and then, oh, not to mention delicious meals, and then in the afternoon, an hour and a half of restorative poses, rest and relaxation poses. So that was the week, and the Friday morning after it was all finished, I remember we did in the morning, first of all, we had a tea together, and then we did some active poses and ended with some restorative poses, and the last pose, right before the final pose of Shavasana, which is the corpse pose, Shavasana, where you lie there and in a completely relaxed state but attentive, right before that, we were in a restorative pose that we had to

[03:08]

do with partners, because there were so many bolsters and blankets and eye bags and props, you couldn't get yourself into the position by yourself, and we were lying on our side with a bolster on our back, right up close, and another bolster in front that we held, and then under our head, and then between our knees, and then a blanket over our heads, then an eye bag, and then it got tucked in, and I found, as I got, you just, the person in the pose just lies quietly, and then the partner helps get you just right, and I found unpremeditated, unannounced, unplanned for, as I got tucked more and more carefully into this,

[04:13]

especially with the blanket over the head, with the little face peeking out, I began to smile, this smile just sort of erupted, and it was, I felt like a kid taking a nappy nap or something, it was just, and I think that's what it's about, feeling you can be a kid again, you know, you can just lie there and relax, all cozy, and this feeling of well-being and joy, just like that. Right after that, it was time to put the Zen, we did these poses at the yoga workshop in the Zen Do Tassar, and right after that, it was time to put the Zen Do back together, turn it from a yoga studio back into the Zen Do, and the dividers, these big dividers at the Zen Do Tassar, were placed right side inside out, or the wrong way, so someone said,

[05:15]

would you help me move the dividers? Sure, I'll help you move, and I thought, they're pretty heavy, but I could help, so I squatted down so that I wouldn't hurt my back, right, squatted down, got a good hold, and then lifted up with my legs, these strong leg muscles, and I thought, this is really heavy, but I didn't hear any rips or anything, but that's, I think, when I tore my calf muscle up high under the knee, which didn't show itself until later, which sometimes happens, you don't know you've really hurt yourself until later, so later that night, and the next day, it got very swollen and painful and stiff and all sorts of things, so just resting and icing and elevating didn't help, so I'm supposed to be off of it, really off of it, and having it raised,

[06:22]

and for another week, another week on crutches, and then start walking again, so at first, this was very novel, you know, how interesting to be off, you have to be off it, and raised, and isn't this relaxing, isn't this kind of fun, that lasted about a day, then it was more, this is getting to be kind of a nuisance, I can't get up and down stairs, it's very hard to get to the Zen Do, plus I don't think it's so good to keep the leg one way or another, I should be able to move it easily, and I found that the simplest of things, the simplest of movements, trying to wash dishes or make the bed, or anything, became a big logistic event, and I began to have, and I'm having more and more as this goes on, this is a very minor thing, this will heal,

[07:28]

this is not major, this doesn't even hurt that much except in certain positions, it's so mild, and I began to think about all the people that I know, who have had some major physical event happen, their backs go out for months on end, or big operations where they're on crutches for a long time, or bedridden, and you know of people, or you yourself have experienced this, or just the inevitable growing old, and the inopportune is the word that comes, but that's not exactly it, the difficulty in just doing the simplest of things, reaching for something, bending over, you know, all the, my relatives as they get older, my parents, my mother, how difficult it is to just

[08:31]

do the daily things of life, and I realized that I've often had a kind of impatience, you know, and why can't they get it together, or visiting someone and feeling like their house is sort of a mess, you know, it's not as clean as it could be, or it's not picked up, it's disheveled and messy, and thinking, I realize now, thinking, why can't people take care of things better, you know, and realizing that as these changes happen to our bodies through old age and sickness, we can't keep up with the daily, unless we have help, unless we have help, we have to leave the dishes in the dishwasher, I mean, dishwasher or in the sink, as the case may be, you can't get to it, you can't,

[09:32]

it's too much, you know, or even grooming, you know, gets to be too much. So I've had a real appreciation for the practice of disintegration of the body, even in this mild, mild way, I can feel it, I can see, I can't get around to doing certain things, like emptying the trash, you know, overflowing waste paper baskets. So this is the inevitable, and also watching how, going from this lovely week of yoga and Zen, and this smile that I was talking about, this unplanned for smile of, not exactly bliss, I don't really know what bliss is, but just feeling this cozy, comfy, cozy way, and then going from that, sort of, just like on the wheel of life, it goes from

[10:36]

heaven, the heavenly realms, straight to hell, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars, you go from heaven to hell, it's just, that's how it is on the wheel. And why fight it, you know? So those days when I was feeling, this isn't fun anymore, this isn't so novel, now I'm settling into what is the practice of disability, so-called disability, of difficulty in getting around, and what is that? And where can I find my way, how can I find my way? The word happiness comes from, the word hap is chance, hap, and another, that's H-A-P, like happenstance, or

[11:41]

happen, just to happen, it's a happening, it's something, it's just by chance, and there's another word, hap, H-A-P-P, the root, which means luck, good luck, actually, hap, and happy is euphoric good luck, to be happy, in terms of the word. Euphoria means well-being, and to bear, or to carry well-being. So happiness is, in terms of the root of the word, just great good luck, you know? And to base our practice on the times when it's all going great guns, it's all going well, it's happy go lucky, is, does not sustain us, does not carry. So we do use the word happiness, I think, when we

[12:53]

mean the word contentment, or true contentment, which does not depend on good luck, or things going along the way you like it, which is usually what we call good luck. So maybe using the word contentment is closer to what the Buddhist understanding of happiness might be, is contentment with our lot, with whatever comes to us, whether it's, you know, comfy cozy, or difficulty. So thinking about the people who've been practicing at Zen Center over the years, with great physical difficulty, I have, I've always admired all those many people, and realized the, I'm realizing more and more, the gulf of, the gulf between watching it from outside, watching someone do bows in a

[14:10]

innovative way. And, and feeling the feeling of the bow, the heart feeling of a bow, that's done with so-called disability. And watching that from the outside and feeling what it's like to find a way to bow when one can't do the form, a particular form. And this is, I realized, been something I've turned over and over for years. When I first was ordained, I was living in Tushita, this is 1975, and that summer, I had a visitor from an old friend, actually the older brother of my boyfriend in high school, and this older brother had, on a vacation in Florida, one vacation right before, I guess, junior year, dove from a cliff into the ocean and the tide was going out, and he had broken his neck, and had become a paraplegic. He was in a wheelchair. I

[15:17]

think he could move his arms, but both his legs were paralyzed and a good part of his body. And he came down in his big RV van, that's all equipped, that was all equipped to, he could drive using hand brakes and hand gears and so forth. So it's all equipped for him with a lowered, you know, the doors would open and lower him down in his chair, his wheelchair. Anyway, he came in the Tassajara Road, for those of you who know the Tassajara Road, you can imagine what happened. He got, he couldn't get out anyway, so he was stuck at Tassajara until a van, until a tow truck could come several days later. So there he was at Tassajara, and I was very eager to show him Zazen and all the practices, and so I was giving him Zazen instruction, but he couldn't do any of the things. He could sort of do this

[16:19]

mudra, but he couldn't cross his legs, and he couldn't sit up straight the way I thought he should be able to sit up straight if he was going to really do Zazen. And his head was kind of to the side, and his ears weren't in line with his shoulders, and his nose wasn't in line with his navel, and the whole thing, from my point of view, was like a big mess. And he, how was he going to be able to do Zazen? And he in fact said, I can't cross my legs, what do you suggest? And it was a kind of crisis for me of faith and, or something. It was like, he can't do Zazen. And I had, I realized I had, I was very stuck in the idea of the form, the perfect form had to be embodied, and without this form, or some reasonable facsimile, you couldn't do Zazen. But then I knew that that wasn't my understand, my true understanding, and yet I couldn't bridge the gap,

[17:27]

and I couldn't answer his questions about how he could practice Zazen without the form. And this was a great, I was very ashamed, actually, of not being able to meet this person who I cared about, and who had great inclination to practice, and interest, and sincerity, and I felt I couldn't meet him. So, and I realized that I myself, my, the reason I, one of the reasons I couldn't meet him is I myself was attached to a certain look, you know, a certain posture. Now, I'm not advocating not finding your seat, not finding one's posture, and not making an effort to sit upright, ears in line with shoulders, nose in line with navel, this part being the top part of

[18:36]

your head, tongue behind the upper teeth, and so on, and so forth, all the posture points. I'm not saying that is to be thrown out, and yet I'm also not saying that that is to be attached to and clung to. Fu, the Tantra this morning told me that, I don't know if it's the current abbot at AHEG or A-abbot, recent abbot, is in a wheelchair, and they wheel him around to various ceremonies and events. So, to, to break the tight clinging and attachment of a particular posture with wholehearted practice, I think is necessary to let go without letting, without throwing everything

[19:41]

overboard, without saying, well, anything will do. But, yes, indeed, anything will do when you actually understand. So, this is, this is negotiating, negotiating the relative and the absolute here without being attached to either one. So, what is our understanding? So, I think we can find our understanding, but by realizing no one has some perfect posture. There's no such thing as someone who's got it. Like, even that beautiful statue of Shakyamuni on the altar touching the earth, you know, is an artist's rendition, and, you know, someone may say, well, he's leaning back a little bit, maybe, or something. But it's, it's very, seeing that practice figure, seeing the, and seeing Tara sitting there in cross-legged, or she's actually sitting sort of with her leg out, similar to this, ready to, she's ready to act, move forth. So, she does, she's not

[20:55]

all bound up, she has one leg forward. Anyway, even seeing a practice figure and thinking, well, there is the ideal, that's what I'm striving for, will throw, will throw you off. The, the looking into your own posture and finding your own posture is where to see how your individual posture, finding your own individual posture is finding non-clinging to any idealized posture. So, we have to start where we are. And each one of us has, you know, difficulties with our knees and our back, and we carry tension in our shoulders and our necks, and our vertebrae are disintegrating, or the little pads in between, and this is old age, sickness and death, this is decay, this is our human life. And to be gentle with ourselves about finding our posture is a very important point. Now, I have never liked the word gentle very much, you know, gently bring yourself back to your breath, or these kinds of admonitions.

[22:17]

I just realized the other day, I don't like the word gentle, it bothers me, it's like, it's too, or so I thought, I didn't like it, gentle. Although I like what gentle points to, the word itself calls up, I don't know what, I don't know. So, I looked it up, because that's always helpful to see what gentle comes from. And the word gentle is, well, the meaning is considerate, kindly in disposition, amiable and patient, not harsh, severe or violent, mild and soft, gradual, not steep. Gradual as in a gentle slope, right, gradual, moderate, and it comes from the word that means well-born, noble and graceful.

[23:23]

And the root of the word is G-E-N-S or genes or gens, which means a clan or a family of noble birth. And it comes from the Roman, from the Latin, which means, it's a basic Roman tribe that has a similar shared land, patrilineal ancestry and a burial ground, that's a gen, the gens. And so gentle is of noble birth from this noble family, that's the gentle ones. And it also, the root also has to give birth, like gene and gender, aspects of procreation or family all comes from this, also king, kith and kin and king and kind and kindred and gender and generous and genius.

[24:35]

And gene and progeny, so I have a different feeling about the word now. So how do we, how are we gentle with ourselves? And here we have this one day sitting, we have a whole day to practice with our posture and breath and body, mind, how can we be gentle? Well actually now I want to ask us to be gentle with ourselves, to be gentle with finding our posture. In this yoga workshop we worked on the sitting posture, finding our seat. And there were a few things that the yoga teacher mentioned which were really helpful for me and I wanted to pass them on. One is about the pelvis, the lower back, the pelvis and the, excuse me, the sternum.

[25:40]

So the pelvis can rock, the pelvis is kind of shaped like a bowl and it can rock backwards like this where you roll your back, round your back, in which case this bowl, if you picture it filled with water, it will spill backwards. And you can rock forward, which puts a curve in your lower back, and if you overdo it, it'll spill this way, this water bowl. So you want to find some way where the pelvis is even, right? So you can rock your pelvis forward and back. And what she described is the lower, the sacrum, which is this triangle shaped backbone, lower back, is in a 45 degree angle. That was very helpful for me. This sacrum part, that flat part in your lower back is, sometimes we say, you know, put a curve in your lower back, you know, but somehow 45 degree angle, I could visualize that shape of the pelvis and the sacrum at this 45 degree angle.

[26:52]

So you might bring your attention to your lower back and see, are you rolling back or rolling forward, or if it's upright, meaning the bowl of water upright and not spilling anything, the sacrum is at 45 degrees. And at the same time, the breastbone, the sternum is at 45 degrees. So you've got, if you were looking at me from the side, you've got the lower back, 45 degrees, and up here, the chest, the sternum at 45 degrees. That was very helpful for me. Now, and the shoulder blades, here's the sternum, are we all, we're all following this, aren't we? This sternum, 45 degrees, and the shoulder blades are straight. They're just down the back. Just let them go down, the shoulder blades. Now, often what we do is have the shoulder blades at 45 degrees and the sternum straight, right?

[27:53]

We come forward with the sternum vertical like this, and the shoulder blades, this is kind of pulling in, and we often protect the heart in this way, often if we're in a lot of pain, emotional, and otherwise we do this. So to come up with the shoulder blades vertical and the sternum 45 degrees. I don't know if you're trying that as I'm speaking, but this balance of the lower back and the sternum, I found very, as an internal visualization and just the feel of it, very stabilizing. Often I'll, there's an adjustment of lifting the sternum. We sometimes say lift the sternum up rather than open, but I think this 45 degree angle of the sternum will do that lifting. So it's a gentle lift to find that.

[28:59]

So each one of us has difficulties. We're decaying as we speak, as I speak, as you listen, we are decaying, and that is the truth of our life. To think that if we just tried a little harder and just, you know, we're a little bit more stretched out, those things are wonderful. Stretch out the hip joints, work on our posture as a sport, meaning really bear it in mind, ask questions about it, try to move to our edge without going over our edge, challenge ourselves like we do with the sport or with exercise. Those are all fine. But the truth of it is our bodies are our bodies. We can't trade it in for the newest model.

[30:02]

And we have to find our peace with who we are. And this gentleness, this noble, because we are part of the noble family, the noble family of human beings and sentient beings. So each one of us is of gentle birth, of gentle birth, a gentle knight and a gentle lady, right? That's a kind of archaic use of the word gentle. Gentlemen, right? Gentlemen. Do we say gentle lady? Not so much. But that gentleness of noble birth, mild and kind and remembering our kindredness. So while we're sitting to take our posture, find our posture with gentleness. And also, so that's with our body and with our mind to bring ourselves, whatever our practice is in zazen, if we're practicing with following the breath, let's say, or counting the breath,

[31:24]

to bring ourselves back to the breath with gentleness. And, you know, sometimes we can be very harsh with ourselves. I was talking about this last Saturday, very kind of rough, yanking ourselves back. This is a kind of overdoing it, which is actually a kind of laziness of overzealousness. To find the gentle way, which is noticing and bringing yourself back without harsh criticism. And now we are all suffering. We all, the first noble truth is the truth of suffering. Dukkha, suffering, is. There is suffering. That's the first noble truth. So each one of us embodies this truth, whether it's a torn muscle or great loss or whether we're struggling with terminal illness right now that we know of.

[32:43]

So the origin of suffering is craving, and the usual craving around suffering is that it will end. We want it to end. We want it to be over. Can't I have something different? And we have the whole day today to look at what it is that we want to be different. When we feel this painful feelings of emotional and mental and physical feelings, if we can notice this, be there, gently be there, and also, can we notice what is it that we don't want here, that we want to be different? Can we notice that? If it's painful legs, the pain itself, the sensation of pain,

[33:46]

if we pay attention with great curiosity, like a scientist, you might say, or a really curious kid, like, what is it? You may find that the pain itself can shift, will shift, but if we're staying with, I don't like it, I want it to stop, I want it out, then we're caught. This is dukkha, this is suffering, and the craving to have it be different than it is. There's the suffering of the pain itself, which is a given, and then there's the other suffering, which is wanting to get rid of it, and wanting it to be different, and fighting it in that way with our minds.

[34:49]

So, the settling into the pain of our lives, but first we have to see, oh, I want it, I want to be different than this, I don't accept it, I don't like it. Can we notice with great care how we're relating in that way, how we're thinking about this, and gently notice this? Gently meaning not harshly, and worthy of our birthright of non-attachment. So, it's hard to do this, it's very hard to do this, really difficult to do this. And so we have one-day sittings, we have things like one-day sitting where the whole day there is nothing major you have to do,

[35:59]

besides maybe serve a meal and help with the dishes and follow the schedule. But we have noble silence, we have a day that's set aside to help us to do this kind of work, to actually see what's going on. Because so often we're moving so quickly and we're fighting so hard to get away, we don't notice what it is. What it is, we want to be different. So it's very helpful to have something happen that you can't get away, you can't distract yourself from it. Because then we see, oh, we see so clearly how we're trying to push it away. So, the preciseness of seeing that there's pain and suffering, seeing what it is we're craving to change, what alternative we wish we had,

[36:59]

like, you know, this thing about lifting that heavy thing, in going back over it to kind of study it a little bit, I felt that in terms of this laziness of overdoing, this is what happened, this is what I see, this gentleman said, will you help me lift this? And I remember thinking, I don't like to lift furniture, it's always too heavy for me. I really don't, I always pinch my fingers and sort of, I hate to move furniture and I usually, I'll do small things, but great big things, I really, it's upper body strength, whatever it is, I don't like it, and I usually get help, lots of help too. But this time, I don't know, I thought, well, I'll just go ahead and, you know, and I don't want him to think I don't want to help, you know, that I, or, you know, I've co-led this, that I'm too good to put this endo bed together, you know, I don't do Soji, I don't do windows,

[38:01]

and I don't do Soji, Soji, you know, temple cleaning. So I thought, well, I'll just better join in and move this furniture. I was doing other things, fluffing cushions, and so this is not very accurate thinking. This is a kind of overshooting the mark here. How is it going to look if I say no, let me get some upper body strength person to do it. So, you know, not very precise. Okay, yeah, I'll do it, okay, now, all right, now you're in for it, you better take care of your back here, squat, you know. But already from the first, it was too much, it was off. So this is the kind of suffering of what, you know, someone asks you something and you don't want to be seen, I didn't want to be seen as whatever, you know, something. I wanted to be seen well, I wanted to be thought well of, that I was a good sport, you know.

[39:05]

These kinds of, this is not very accurate thinking, this gets us into big trouble. This is like peer pressure, right, that we talk about with our adolescents. Don't fall into peer pressure. So there I was, moving, you know, working way at my edge, I'm over my edge, right. So in going back over it and thinking about it, I saw that there were these unwholesome, meaning unbeneficial ways of thinking that really I got caught in, got caught by. And so that was big teaching. So this is my confession to you all about, you know, unskillful means, really. Based on craving, based on wanting to be thought well of, that I was a person, wanting this person to think, oh yeah, this is it. Wanting this person to think I was a person of no rank. Because the person of no rank are the best kind of people, right.

[40:09]

So they've got lots of rank. Anyway, if you get it, it's sort of all, it's all mixed up there. You know, this is, so to honestly and say, to actually have said, sorry, it's too heavy for me. And then he thinks, oh, she thinks she's such hot stuff, she can't even move this end of her, or whatever. You know, it's like let him think it. Please, he has to think whatever he thinks. I have to be true to myself, you know. But instead, I did this whole number, right. He's going to think, I better do this. I don't want to, but I will, and just like that. And we do, this is, this is how we operate, right. I'm sure you're familiar with this, right. And so it's not very precise, and it's not gentle. And it is not, you know, it's completely clinging. It's not let go. It's just clinging.

[41:09]

But it's not so subtle. It's pretty gross. But, you know, I didn't catch it. I wasn't there. I wasn't really there with what was going on for me. And he couldn't read my mind. Nobody can read your mind. He's not saying, oh, she's, you know, sometimes we think, oh, they'll save me. They know what I'm thinking. He'll say, no, no, I'll find somebody else. No, we have to take care of ourselves. Nobody's going to, you know, be there ahead of time taking care of it because they know what's good for us. It's, even our best friends, even our teachers, you know. So wanting to look good, you know, that's a big source of suffering. Wanting to look good physically, wanting to look good, you know, like good sport, and wanting to look good physically. Like, I remember Darlene Cohn, who teaches in the city, many of you know her, has rheumatoid arthritis. And she was ranting and raving that the arthritis took everything from her. It took her sex appeal.

[42:11]

It took her beauty. It took everything, you know. And those of us who saw her when she first came to Sand Center, you know, have a vision of Darlene. I remember her teeny, tiny waist and her, right, and then she's hobbling and she's all misshapen, so she says, and it took everything. And just, you know, wanting to just pound the wall. Well, oh, some of you know this joke, you know, someone said, oh, Darlene, your practice has deepened so much with all this difficulty, physical difficulty you've had and how you've really, your practice is so deep. And she said, I'll take superficiality any day. That was her answer. So it's not fun, you know. Excuse me, Darlene, for telling your own, your stories. So we want to look good, being a good sport,

[43:13]

and we want to look good physically, you know. We don't like this decay story very much. And we are very inspired by it. I am very inspired. I just read the story about the Pema Chodron's, one of the teachers in that lineage named Gampopa, for whom Gampo Abbey is named, and he was supposed to have been extremely ugly man, like very ugly. They said he looked like some kind of, well, in the book it said he looked like a monkey, like a very ugly person. Now I feel very inspired by hearing about very ugly people who practice hard. Don't you? You know, I do. Because why? Because I'm so attached to, you know, wanting to look good physically, right? We want to, we don't,

[44:13]

this is part of our clinging, I think, that we share. And how about letting go of that? My teacher, one of my teachers, my main teacher, Reb, when I was telling him about this, this is the day for confession here, about this other physical malady that I have, which is called rosacea, which is a skin, a chronic skin disease, I guess you could say, that comes on later in life, and it's like acne. They sometimes call it adult-onset acne. So I have this, and it was like when I heard that I have this adult-onset acne, chronic, and there's no cure. The newsletter that I joined, you know, the Rosacea Society, said, this is chronic, and there is no cure, and it just gets worse. And I thought, you know, how could this happen to me? I thought I was over this, you know, in my teenage years.

[45:17]

How could this be? And, you know, it erupts at times, especially when there's stress, like giving a big speech in front of crowds and things like that. This is what I am very happy to work with in my middle years. Anyway, in talking about this with my teacher, he said, well, what do you want? What do you want to have, a good complexion, or do you want to be a Zen master? Take your choice. That's kind of like, whew, whew, you know. So when you think about it, I remember having a good complexion, you know, peaches and cream, dah, dah, dah, rosy cheeks, and I was totally miserable, right? It doesn't, this is not, if we put all of our effort into looking good, we will be, it's not going to last, folks. We know this, right? So, but time and time again we lament, you know,

[46:22]

or I grieve about the newest, you know, disintegration. Okay. So I wanted to end the talk with a traditional, these are called five recollections, that the Buddha is said to have suggested are very beneficial for everyone each day to recollect, these five recollections. So the first one is, I am of the nature to decay. Now, if we investigate this and pay attention to this, we will see very clearly that we are of the nature to decay,

[47:25]

and then the second part is, I have not got beyond decay. This is something very wholesome and beneficial to recollect, even for those of you who are a rose in bloom, you know. It, we all feel this. So let's remember, I am of the nature to decay. I have not got beyond decay. The next one is, I am of the nature to be diseased. I have not got beyond disease. And part of this is, even with our hopes and our wishes and our taking the best care of ourselves, getting our exercise, taking our vitamins, you know, not smoking, wearing our seatbelt, all that stuff,

[48:28]

we are of the nature, I am of the nature to be diseased. So when we recollect this, we see that even with our best intentions, we cannot avoid this, you know, we cannot somehow escape. It's not up to us, even though we do our very best, still we are of the nature to be diseased. The next one is, I am of the nature to die. I have not got beyond death. And we all know that this is true. We all know this is true. And yet our recollection of this, our daily recollection is what this is saying, is very helpful.

[49:30]

Also the kind of concomitant things to remember are that death will come, and we never know when it will come. It's sure that it will come, but we never know when. Now this, for me, brings a kind of sharpness of clarity. We never know when. And of course, everyone we know and love too, death will come, but we never know when. So let's not waste this time we have together, because we love each other. We love so many people and animals in our earth. That's what the Han says, right? Listen, birth and death are the great matter. No forever, gone, gone. Don't waste your life. So whenever we hear the Han, it's wrapping this out, you know.

[50:33]

And the next recollection is all that is mine, dear and delightful, will change and vanish. All that is mine, dear and delightful, will change and vanish. And we also know this, but to bring it right to the forefront, not only all the people that we love, but all of our experiences, all of our fun times, all of our lovely things we have around us, our pets. And the last ones are about karma, karma meaning action, the action of body, speech and mind, which we chanted about this morning, being born of greed, hate and delusion.

[51:52]

This is our karma. So the first is I am the owner of my karma. This is accepting responsibility, just like I now fully avow all my ancient twisted karma. I am heir to my karma, meaning various things that come our way, like this, I mean a simple, simple version is this torn muscle had to do with the action of delusion and confusion on my part about not taking, not being accurate about things. So I am the heir. This is not a mistake. This wasn't meant for somebody else, like that guy. You know, he had enough upper body strength. I am heir to my karma. And then I am born of my karma. Now this is part of the understanding that our own, the fact that we're here, that our wish to be alive

[52:54]

and that we're in this world has to do that. We took rebirth, you know, this teaching of being brought here by our own desire. I am related to my karma. And what it says here is very, this is a book by Aya Khema, by the way, When the Iron Eagle Flies, Buddhism for the West. Aya Khema passed away a couple of years ago, I think. Goodbye, kitchen. Thank you. I am related to my karma. And she says here we can contemplate that this is the closest relationship we will ever have, as close as our own skin. It is the one we have to come to terms with and the one we need to accept. This is being related to our own karma. And the last one, whatever karma I shall do,

[53:57]

whether good or wholesome or unwholesome, that I shall inherit. So this is the acknowledgment of cause and effect and that we must not forget cause and effect. As long as we think that we are separate and do things, there will be the result of our doing. We are heir to it. We will receive the fruit of wholesome and unwholesome actions as long as there is a separate I in our understanding. So those are the five recollections. I am of the nature to decay. I am of the nature to be diseased. I am of the nature to die. All that is mine, dear and delightful, will change and vanish. And then karma. I am the owner of my karma. I am heir to my karma. I am born of my karma.

[54:59]

I am related to my karma. Whatever karma I shall do, whether wholesome or unwholesome, that I shall inherit, receive. So, I hope the day is beneficial for you So, I hope the day is beneficial for you in whatever way you need today. Sorry, I won't be joining you, but I'll be bearing you in mind all day. Thank you very much.

[55:51]

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