I don't know why I'm still here, but I'm okay. So it's very nice to see you. Today we talk about our subject. There are certain things I'd like to emphasize on our reason why we are studying about the different energies and what is fundamentally the most essential. I think this is not working. So, we spend a lot of energy everyday, you see.

[01:30]

But I think it's very important that a person on the path of enlightenment, we should put all our energy, as much as we can, towards the aim. And for that there should be no compromise how much we have to reserve for the purpose of enlightenment. And this is the fundamental responsibility of a Dharma practitioner, a person who is really looking and who is striving on the path of practice. And without that, if our practice is not motivated with a very pure intention and we are not serious about our practice, then our energy will also decrease. Our energy will be not fully within its potential strength.

[02:34]

So in a state like that, the person experience or practice will become limited. And when the person experience or practice will become limited, then we lose our faith, we lose our understanding and we lose our realization. Because faith and understanding and realization depends on the purity of intention and the energy we focus on the state. So it's very important from that level, particularly let's talk about Vajrayana Buddhism or any Buddhism, on the path of a traditional practice. Or whether we talk a traditional practice or whether we do not have a traditional practice. It's very important a person has to do like four section of practice a day. Or a person does like two section of practice a day. So in that way it shows that commitment, that energy directed towards that practice.

[03:41]

So we are serious what we are engaging or what we are expecting and what we are looking for. So since it is the fundamental responsible of every one of us for our own happiness, so the happiness lies within the state of opening of this mind, of knowing this mind which is the enlightened nature. So therefore I think it's very important we have to direct, put all our energy towards that aim. And putting our energy towards that aim is not easy. Though we all like to do really a great practice, we like to be enlightened maybe in one section at the same time. Or even you know at this very moment. And this question is something not easy at the same time.

[04:43]

We all know because there are so many distractions and so many energies are scattered in so many ways. Because those energies, our inner emotions are related with energy. So from one state every aspect of our thoughts, our emotions, our consciousness, are related with, they are all like taking away energies. So when we have a tremendous emotional up and down going, or we are caught in a particular situation, it takes a lot of energy out of that. So in a case like that, what happens when we lose our energy, we lose the strength to be balanced and we become unbalanced. And when our state of mind becomes unbalanced,

[05:44]

then our physical state also becomes unbalanced, where it will create many different kinds of sickness. And the state of physical, we lose the complexion, we lose our strength, we lose our vitality. So the Dharma practice shows a person how to balance that state. How to balance that energy and how to balance one's vitality. And if you are not able to find the skillful method, the skillful means, how to balance our energy, then very soon we will become exhausted and the most extreme thing could happen is a person will suicide or a person will go to such an extreme that it would be the most ignorant and most stupid thing one could ever do. And that is all because there is no skillful means of finding a way how to balance the energy.

[06:50]

So we should know that all our state of thoughts, emotions, takes a lot of energy. And the basic energy is the clarity of their mind. The clarity of their mind is the very basic source of energy. On a pure level is the Sambhogakaya nature. And when we do not recognize that clarity of our mind, then this energy becomes very scattered. The energy becomes a projection. The energy becomes some source of different. You feel that clarity, that energy is something different from you. So therefore the energy started to become some kind of different situation from who you are. You do not see that is your very basic energy which is very basic goodness. It is the very basic source of your strength, source of your vitality.

[07:55]

Instead the energy appears to be something different, something which is different from you. And when that happens, then since due to this confused state of our mind which is the dualistic mind, then it drags away, it sucks away a lot of energy. That clarity does not manifest into its vitality. The clarity becomes obscured and the clarity becomes some kind of obscuration. And in that way it is kind of feeding that dualistic mind. That clarity instead of becoming the nature of our strength and healing, the clarity simply started to appear like the very basic source of our pain. So the clarity will appear as the pain instead of clarity will appear as the healing.

[08:58]

So this is how fundamentally not recognizing the mind, the sources of the energy itself is, when we talk about energy is the Sambhogakaya nature, is the clarity aspect of it. So therefore one has to find this balance. And finding this balance we have different methods. We go through meditation, we go through different practices. But we need many different methods how to really make ourselves balance. One thing is not strong enough to make a balance. Especially if a person is concerned in one lifetime enlightenment what we are talking in Vajrayana Buddhism. Like within this practice of Hinayana we are not talking about one lifetime generalization.

[10:05]

We are talking about accumulating positive merit and doing practice. And after sometimes then one will get enlightened. But we all are not talking about that. We all are talking about maybe within a couple of years or in a very short time. And though we really wish it to be happen like that, but it's very difficult from my own experience to see that. Because when we are dealing with our clarity through our 24 hours, we are dealing with our clarity aspect of our mind through our 24 hours. And since the clarity aspect of this mind is not recognized, it becomes some sense of different state of entity. It appears to be something different from you. When that happens there are so many different phenomena situations occurring everyday in our life,

[11:12]

which is sucking that energy. And there are so many different energies appearing which become extremely difficult to balance. So that is one of the reason for instance if you pay a very close attention and look into in the Vajrayana Buddhism. There are so many kinds of rituals. There appears to be different kinds of rituals. There appears to be different kinds of practices like incense healing. Like balancing your inner energy. Strengthening, opening up those vitality. Because we have that function of clarity so strong and so vital, that without those methods just by sitting alone one cannot, one just, it's difficult.

[12:14]

But I try to say that just by sitting and doing meditation is great. But we also need certain other things because we have a gross body. We do have a gross element. So since this gross element is there and to balance this gross element, we simply just cannot sit and expect that we would find the whole balance just by sitting. I think it is difficult. Though we will find a tremendous balance, we will find a state of relaxation. We may find a state of, a great extent of balance by meditation. But until we really have the knowledge of the different arts, like as I explained, if you pay close attention in the Vajrayana Buddhism,

[13:20]

why there are different rituals and different practices, there is a great meaning in that. Because that meaning is working with our clarities. Simply it's not something subtle. If your state of mind is a subtle state of mind, and if the state of mind is not a gross element, you are relating with a very subtle element, then a meditation will work and meditation will just make a person enlightened. Of course, finally, without meditation there is no enlightenment. I'm not saying that you have to go to a form part. I'm just explaining that we need many medicines, like cooking a food. We can't cook a food without a fire. We need water, we need everything. And to expect that a food will appear just from the water itself is not alone. Though the water is the five elements, it has the potential of the food,

[14:20]

but we need different support to make that happen. So, I'd like you to understand that there is a great reason in Vajrayana Buddhism why we work with a tremendous energy. Vajrayana is the only teaching, I think, within the Buddhism where it shows so much emphasis on the clarity aspect, on our energy. The practice of yidam, generating practice. It shows us the different qualities of the mind, different aspects of that clarity, how to balance that and how to make that circle and how to keep yourself balanced so that the negative state of the force will not enter within that mandala, so in that case you are able to be yourself. And able to progress.

[15:23]

So, it's something very delicate. At the same time, it's very powerful because you are able to really experience the true nature of your mind. But, if a person with a tremendous gross element tries to work directly without really working with that clarity, what will happen? We are constantly distracted. Our five senses are vulnerable. Our five objects are just like waiting for you there to be distracted. And since you cannot relate to them, cannot release them, we have a clinging mind. We have an attachment. Then we entertain ourselves. Instead of cutting that attachment, instead of releasing that,

[16:27]

we are feeding our five senses again, in which it becomes the cause of phenomena to become more grosser, which creates a much grosser element. So again, this clarity, instead of becoming opening, it becomes another sense of obscuration. So again, we create a lot of different karmas. And each karma requires tremendous energy to create something. We just cannot create something with light energy. And especially in a very strong society like in America, we are working with a lot of gross elements, very strong situations. Everything is very powerful. So to work with that clarity, you see,

[17:28]

all this appearance is that very basic source of clarity. It's not easy without certain methods of practices, how to balance that. So meditation is great. Meditation creates, meditation balances our energy. But it's also important to work with ourselves, how to learn ourselves, to learn ourselves more, to learn our different energies. In that way, we can become our greatest friend. If not, when we do not know that, we can become some kind of enemy to ourselves also. Because we do not understand how those different energies are arising. And we go through those pains and we blame ourselves. We do not see how it is happening and how it is arising. Instead, we blame ourselves that I'm not being right,

[18:29]

because simply you do not accept yourself that we have a gross element. We try to think that I have a very subtle and very little bit of obscuration, and why I'm not opening up? And I'm doing my meditation pretty well every day, one session a day or two sessions a day, and why it's not happening? So we try to become, see ourselves as some sort of, we tend to see ourselves as some kind of unworthy, stupid, and lack of sense of humor. So something happens on the path of enlightenment. So for that, it's not to be felt bad.

[19:32]

It happens to every one of us. It happens to people, those who have gone through enlightenment, those who are enlightened, and it will happen to every one of us, because everyone has to go through that state, because at this point we are caught in a gross element. So it is important to learn those different elements, and as a result, you see, as I said, when you really study the different aspects of energies and elements, there are a lot of different studies today which I have made available. There is the method of healing through crystals, for instance. They work in a great extent to open our different chakras,

[20:34]

in which way, to certain people, it becomes some way of communication to see the inner part of the element. And a great deal of extent of healing the energy is shown in Tibet through a certain kind of water purification, where the lama puts the water, a saffron water, on the head of the person who is going through that ailment of blockage energy. And then going through that process, very soon the person is able to feel the lightness, because the gross impurities have been cleaned up. So, some people are not sensitive, you see. When we talk about energy, it's a very, very deep root,

[21:38]

it's a very deep source of study in our life. It's not just like that you can say that here is the energy, okay, now we can just deal with it like that. It's an invisible state of being energy. And without energy, there is no functioning. Without energy, there is no vitality. So the fundamental energy is our clarity aspect of mind, which is the basic vitality, the Sambhogakaya aspect of the Buddha nature. Now, going through a state like that, some people are very sensitive to the energy, and some people are not sensitive. So how you relate with energy when two persons live together, or like when many people share the place together.

[22:40]

If there is a person who has a very pure, strong energy, that energy will pervade through the space and able to heal many different state of emotion, many different state of confused blockage of mind through the strength of the energy. Because energy is not something visible, though it is invisible, but it is invisible visible, you see. It's invisible visible where it can penetrate, where it can work it out in a stream. So with a very skillful means, with a very skillful means, one is able to translate that energy practically through the means of transforming oneself into deity practice. One is able to translate that energy,

[23:46]

transforming oneself into the pure expression of the clarity, which is the deity, and then able to heal the person. So this is something one who has the method, one who knows that method, how to relate to that particular energy, how to be released and how to open it. So this is something, there is a great variety of study and practice on this level within the Vajrayana practice. On each particular blockages, whether it's a body, whether it's a speech, or whether it's a mind, or whether it's a knowledge, or whether it is a... Because we have tremendous varieties of energy, so each particular energy has its own different method how to release, how to open that part.

[24:48]

And that is, if a person is doing a Kiran practice, one has the entire knowledge how to work with one's energy. And without a Kiran practice, it's very difficult to see the balanced nature, the balanced element, because one does not have the means how to balance that energy. So Kiran practice is very important from that point, how a person learns to balance the different energies, and how one is able to maintain the energy for the enlightened nature, instead of energy getting lost into five senses and into an ordinary situation. What happens in our ordinary state? Because our mind is so vast, and it has endless thoughts arising,

[25:53]

and we constantly get interfered, bothered by all these different thoughts, and we do not know how to handle with these thoughts, and we do not know how to work with these thoughts. So every thought becomes a translation. We translate those thoughts by our actions. We translate those thoughts by our speech, so that we feel that we will feel open, and we expect to be satisfied. But we cannot be satisfied, because that's not the way. That's not how we become satisfied. We all know that we are all unsatisfied. We are so much unsatisfied that we do not know now what to do. So there is no means.

[26:58]

One does not know actually what's happening to one. In a state where we came to a point, we really do not know ourselves. We really do not know what's happening to us, and what to expect, and what not to expect. Kind of a very crazy situation. So this is how a state of mind has been going through in such an experience. And so Dharma is a means here, how to really see that basic energy in ourselves, and to balance that. So in that way, all the different thoughts, the way it is expressed, all the different emotions, the way it is expressed,

[28:00]

a person has the skill, the wisdom, to not be confused, and know how to relate to those thoughts. So for that, there are so many teachings given in meditation, so many teachings and practices we go through during meditation. But it's very important also to really learn how to balance that energy. I can only see that a person can balance their energy either through a disciplined meditation, because we have a gross energy, gross element. So therefore I'm talking discipline. If you have very subtle elements, we do not need to be disciplined in meditation. Because disciplining is a method. Disciplining is a technique at a certain stage,

[29:03]

where we have to accept the technique. And after some time, once the technique becomes reality, then you do not have to make the technique again. There is no need to make the technique again. You have to discipline yourself by putting the fork and the spoon to fill your hunger. But once you are full, you are not hungry anymore, then you don't have to go through the same, taking the spoon and the fork and eating. You don't need that, you see. Once the technique has become the reality, then there is no need. So similarly, at a beginning stage, a person has to discipline oneself so that we could balance ourselves. Balancing ourselves is very, very important, you see. And that balance is like the essence of our vitality. Without that balance, we will lose the vitality, we will lose our sense, and losing our sense means losing the state of our happiness

[30:07]

and furthermore, the enlightenment. So it's very important how a person keeps the balance and keeps that energy. It's a question of something very deep studied and a deep practice. It's not something simple, you see. It's not something you could learn in one day or two days. It's not something that we would be able to manifest ourselves to balance our energy just like that. It requires a certain understanding and it requires certain discipline and certain knowledge and certain experience where you can base your knowledge on the trust of that experience. So, I think it's very important. And I can only see how deep we can go

[31:08]

to understand our different energies. It's really only through the practice of seeing that pure aspect of that clarity which is the Deity aspect. When we talk about Deity, we're talking about energy, actually. Deity is not something, some kind of different beings from another planet. Deity is a very fundamental resource of our pure energy. So in Buddhism, we talk about, let's say Buddhism, actually, when we see the different paintings which you might all see, different thangkas, different paintings of peaceful Deities, rightful Deities and wisdom Deities,

[32:10]

they are all expression of our energy fundamentally. They are not something different. They are the expression of our energy. And working with that expression, we are able to have that pure energy, that balanced energy. So that in that case, that state of the inner wisdom do not have any arrogance. Even that fierce-looking Deity appears to have tremendous arrogance and tremendous anger, but it is the most balanced and most peaceful and not a single tint of arrogance. But because we cannot see that,

[33:13]

we are habitually set up and we tend to translate whatever looks kind of with four fangs as an arrogant state of mind and whoever is smiling has a very peaceful state of mind. That's not right. We have a saying that sometimes one who looks peaceful is the most dangerous. So by appearance we cannot judge. But we are not talking about that. We are talking about the balanced energy. So the expression of our mind is the very basic source of our energy. So learning the practice of Deity means when a person is able to see the expression of their mind as it is,

[34:19]

then one has conquered the state of Deity. One cannot conquer the state of Deity if one does not understand that basic energy, that expression of the mind. So if a person understands that, then a person with a very little bit of, not much obscuration, who has a subtle mind, does not have a gross mind, the state of Mahamudra, the state of Dzogchen within the Nyingma school and the state of Mahamudra within the Kagyu school, one has the combination, the unity, the union of that expression of clarity and that openness. There is the Deity and there is the opening. But if a person has a tremendous gross element,

[35:21]

cannot experience that union of that energy and that openness, it's hard to experience. To experience the union of openness and clarity, which is the very basic balance, the most refined energy, the energy which can benefit spontaneously to so many beings, is limited because we are not working with, we need to take some more stronger medicine. So for that stronger medicine, a very important practice is shown, how to work with the transformation of this perception into working within the Deity practice, so that one is able to bring out the vitality of the energy of the clarity. But one cannot bring out the vitality of the energy

[36:24]

as long as one is not willing to work with those levels. And I think it's very important that we have to be very honest. There is no need to be impatient on the path, because if we become impatient, we will lose our sense, we will lose our balance. Impatience does not make a person balanced. Impatience creates more unbalance. And impatience becomes a source of confusion in many ways, and especially it could happen within the Dharma student. A person on the path could also happen because our expectations are so much. You see, we have big expectations. We want that big bang of enlightenment right now.

[37:29]

And that does not happen just like that. We have to accept that we have a gross element. And if we could accept that, what we are, then big bang might happen. Otherwise it would not happen because we are not willing to be honest to ourselves. So we need tremendous patience. And to go step by step is very important. Go step by step is extremely important. If we want to do authentic practice, we want to experience authentic experience, we want to balance ourselves perfectly, then we need patience and we need to balance that step by step. And when we are not willing for that, and I can understand why we are not willing to accept that, because we have a tremendous desire and tremendous expectation

[38:34]

so that we could just get instantly with a very high meditation, without going step by step, we could just experience that nature, experience that enlightened nature just like that. It never happened like that because we have to understand that we also have a gross element. Unless you have a subtle element, then you could work that out. But we would like to think that we just have a subtle consciousness, subtle element, and it's just ready to open up. And when that does not happen, then we have to accept that I'm not within the subtle category, I'm within the gross category. This has been a big problem. So, if a person is sat there, which one do you like? Do you want to do the meditation,

[39:35]

or do you want to do a hundred thousand prostrations? I like to do the meditation. And no one, especially in a state where one is brought to think that one is great always, this has become a very big, on a spiritual path, I think it has been a certain kind of hindrance to think that I'm great and I have the potential to do anything. Well, we do have that basic potential, there is no need to even raise that question. But in Tibet, the way a person is brought on the path of spiritual has been taught with a certain kind of motivation. We were always taught by our teacher, you are nothing. You should think that you are nothing. And you are just like a dust.

[40:35]

And you are not nowhere. You are not close to nowhere. So when a person really, this is within a certain kind of attitude, and it's not taught so that the person feels inferior, and it's not taught so that the teacher expects to see himself as great and the students to be inferior. But it's taught so that the student, instead of we increase our arrogance, instead of we increase and feed our ego, we really see that ego as it is. Because when you go to the most lowest bottom of bottom, then you will just see who you are. You see? You will simply see who you are. But when we are not ready to see that, when we are not ready to go to the ground level, we are not going to see. We are going to see something else, a fantasy. And that has been a certain kind of, I think,

[41:38]

in the way our minds, the way this ordinary mind is brought up, the way this dualistic mind is brought up, it has created a certain kind of understanding by this concept. Because there is nothing wrong to think that you are nothing. Because when we really accept that you are nothing, for the first time you start to ask questions, OK, then who am I? OK, where am I? Then you can see how strongly your neuroses are or how subtle your neuroses are. But when we do not approach that with a certain kind of attitude, we think that I am great. And in that way we do not, we become impatient. And that impatience creates a gap,

[42:41]

what we should do step by step. That impatience wants to jump immediately from one side to another, which could be like falling in between and breaking ourselves completely. And that happens. That happens to, I guess, to many people and then they lose their faith. Faith means their understanding in themselves. They lose their trust in themselves because one is not working step by step. One has to be extremely honest and be patient when a question of happiness is concerned in such a deep extent. It is not something easy that we could just work out in one or two days. It requires a tremendous understanding, patience and a willingness to accept who we are and then work it out step by step. So, this is something very important, you see.

[43:46]

And I am not discouraging because when we really see ourselves as we are, then it is very easy for us to work where to start because we know exactly which is our weak point and how to work with that. Until then, we are not seeing our weak points. There are many teachings by many great enlightened teachers in Tibet and I guess all over the world that they have said that please bless us so that we could see our fault. Bless us not to see the fault of others. There is a great profound message in that so that when we are able to see ourselves, our unbalanced energy, then we can really work out how to balance ourselves So, the question of balancing ourselves

[44:52]

requires a tremendous strength in our state of mind. It requires determination. It requires strength to keep on going. That's what the late, venerable Shogyam Trungpa Rinpoche he called the book Warrior and the way he taught so that people could understand to go step by step. A warrior does not conquer the whole world just like that. He has to fight for it. He has to be patient to wait all the day and then attack at night, the guerrilla war. Or he has to have the patient skill to go in the daytime if he is strong enough. It requires wisdom, it requires skill, it requires patience, it requires many things. Same thing in practice.

[45:53]

We have to be honest to ourselves. If the warrior is not honest to oneself, without that skillful means, he is going to kill himself. That would be like the dead. And that's not what the warrior is looking for. Similarly, a person on the path of enlightenment, we are not looking for something, a drastic experience which could kill ourselves. We are looking for something which will heal ourselves, which will balance ourselves. And the question of balance really lies to accept our state of mind and to work progressively. We have to work progressively. If we are serious, if we are honest. I think it's very important to be honest, right? Very, very important to be honest. Very, very important to be willing to accept who we are. The willing to accept who we are depends on that honesty. That honesty itself is the enlightened nature.

[46:54]

It's the very basic source how we can balance ourselves within that energy. But if you are not honest, then we will make a lot of mistakes on the path, even you have the highest teaching, even you have the most skillful means. If you are not honest, you would not have the patience to really... Putting the whole energy within that balance of clarity, you are again distracting yourself with that clarity. Instead of becoming... be yourself completely, you could distract yourself with that clarity. So the question of balance is something, you see, we have to discipline at the beginning stage. We have to discipline and we have to really go step by step.

[47:56]

And if we are really willing to do that step by step, then a genuine experience will come, a genuine understanding will come, a genuine balance will experience in our mind. And the change of that experience of that mind is the experience of that phenomena and is the experience of that enlightened nature. It's a change of life. It's a change of life from an unbalance to a balance. Changing is not something outside, you see. Changing basically comes from our inner state of the mind. When our inner mind changes, the phenomena changes. And it's a changes of a... changes of a situation. It's something very powerful. So when a person goes step by step,

[49:03]

one is changing in a very balanced way. And when a person has an honesty, the world changing is based on a balanced nature. So the different meditation, the different practice we do brings that vitality of our balanced nature and able to change ourself from an unbalanced situation. And when we are balanced, then there is happiness. Then there is strength. There is no confusion. There is clarity always. And the clarity do not go through suffering. The clarity progressively goes toward the fully open mind of our very basic goodness. So it's very important, I think, you see, why we always do not go to the highest... We would all like to do just one straight meditation

[50:06]

and not to, you know, mix anything. You see. We would like to go to one straight meditation. But to go to straight meditation, you've got to be a little bit subtle. And if your state of mind is not very subtle, it means, again, I guess there must be a different interpretation. What I mean is your state of mind is pretty much pure, you see, not obscured. That means you can have a little bit of drinking wine. A person who has never drank before will put him to drunk immediately. So it's like that. A state of mind which is very light can open oneself immediately with one small pack. But one who is drinking every day, you know, who is always distracted and who is always a tremendous gross element will have to drink one bottle of wine

[51:10]

and will not get drunk. I know pretty close to my monastery in Ladakh, there was this person who is 80 years old and he used to drink every day. And to drink alcohol, he can drink two bottles and then he will get drunk. You see, his body is so strongly resistant. So one pack will not do anything. But if I drink one pack, I will be just... I don't know what I will do. So the elements are very vulnerable. For instance, the elements are very much sensitive. Similarly, the state of our mind is very similar to that if a person who has been always accumulating tremendous neuroses, we get distracted by our... simply we got distracted by our elements. There is no question that.

[52:11]

Different senses. Then we have to work accordingly to that gross element. A person with a very strong sickness has to take antibiotic medicine, not a herbal medicine. One takes, then one has to take strong herbal medicine. But one dosage will not do. One has to take twice. So it's similar to that, the whole practice. We have to... Though we work with the straight meditation, but also we have to work with clarity aspect, with the energy aspect. That's very important. So for that reason, when we go through the practice of Vajrayana in Tibet, we go through those different practices like, you see, prostration. We go through practices like mantras. We go through a practice of caring practice, going a little bit higher, so working with those different elements and energy. So you really experience, you see,

[53:14]

you really experience that balance at that time. A genuine experience, how you can balance your emotions, how you can balance your strength and vitality. You see that clearly. And even those emotions are very afflictive, which in a case, in an ordinary case, could be almost like making you crazy, that we have to chain and put in a mental hospital. But in a state, that intensity of emotion may arise, or craziness may arise, but a person with a skillful mind will be able to have the strength to transmute that craziness into releasing energy. The person who is crazy has a tremendous energy, which is blocked, you see. That person got confused how to deal with that thoughts,

[54:15]

how to deal with that clarity, actually. So there's an unbalance in the energy. So all our balance really comes from a caring practice, comes from a generative practice. The different sickness can be controlled by working with our elements, by working with our balancing of the energy. Different state of emotion can be balanced by working with those energies. Different kinds of, different people's negative energies, we can heal ourselves, balance ourselves, through different mantras, through different creation of mandalas, different way of, because that is the very basic wisdom, inheriting we have in ourselves. We have that very basic goodness,

[55:15]

that very basic goodness is not simply some kind of goodness. It has a tremendous strength, it has a tremendous potential, unlimited resources to work with. So we have, we do have unlimited resources in ourselves. There is no question how our state of mind is, just like unlimited resources. Now it is up to us to recognize those unlimited resources and to work with those and to balance ourselves. That is the most important. And that is what our, as I said, we should direct our energy for enlightenment, not to be supplemented for distraction. So enlightenment comes, the number one, I would say. And we should not compromise our state of happiness for anything. And we should not compromise with impatience either.

[56:16]

That is something we have to talk to ourselves. Well, basically everything we need to talk to ourselves, but this is something very important to be honest and not to be compromised for anything which is not suitable, which is not right. So there is something more deep, you see, in our life we have to go through and we have to learn. And then in a step by step, then a person is really able to have a trust in oneself. And then it's not far to really open the mind. Then it's not far. And as far as I really, from my own experience, if I have to tell, I think the most, the greatest thing we learn, the time when we are most patient with ourselves, the time when we are not jumping,

[57:22]

the time when we are not expecting too much, the time when we are working with ourselves completely, accepting who we are, and then working with that state has been the most swiftest and most powerful. That is where we can really conquer tremendous miles of space, just being patient. And this is something in the West there is a problem, impatience, you see, because the whole society here, our society is a very speedy society, and people talk about time, and people talk about, you see, the whole thing has supported you to be impatient, actually. They tell you how to have your breakfast in your car while you are driving, and how to go to eat food in a car, drive in a car,

[58:28]

and even how to watch a movie, you know, or go and take your car inside. So all those actions, you know, actually, they all direct you how to be busy, and how to be fast, how to be impatient. And so we know that result. What has been that result? We may think that we have, we have acquired a great material out of being speedy and fast, but how much price we have paid emotionally, how much price we have paid in our real question of balance in our life, it has made us unbalanced. It has made us unbalanced so that, you know, you don't have a proper real life. You know, people really don't have. It has, everything is put in a situation which makes a person to appear that you have everything, but what price was paid for that, to have everything?

[59:32]

Is it worth it or not? It's a big question. While in the East, though they don't have a television in India, they don't have a car, they work for maybe four hours, and the rest of the day they drink tea. Yes. So, and that's the question that we have to ask. Is there a balance? Which is more attractive? Four hours a day. Four hours a day. So, I think, you know, it's not that there is difficult to escape in a situation like that. We have to also have to face the fact that when everyone is living in the same situation, you just cannot come out, and if you do that, you will become unbalanced in another way.

[60:32]

You see? You will become simply unbalanced in another way. So, for that also we need to find the balance, that balance is while you do the work, you do the work according to the speed, because now, once you're caught in the speed, you have no choice to escape. You have to be at speed. But you have to learn to be relaxed within the speed. That is your balance. If you do not learn to be relaxed within the speed, then the unbalance will create more, and the uncertainty, and the fear, and the feeling of negative towards oneself will increase, and the feeling that negative to your friends, those who are working next to you, will increase too. So, that kind of balance we need to find in this society. You see, now this society is running very fast,

[61:37]

but one should find the balance, the relaxation, how to be relaxed and how to be balanced in a speed like that. That is where the balance will arise. But if you try to be like the style in India, then you are unbalanced here. You see, you're not balanced, then you are unbalanced. But an Indian trying to be something like here, then he's unbalanced there. So, you see, each situation has its own different environment and its own different balance that we can find, because the whole system works in other cases like that. So, therefore, you see, sometimes before that, we have gone through like sitting meditation, we have gone through like walking meditation. Those are a technique to find the balance, how to relate in a state of extremely strong

[62:41]

and extremely busy and speedy situation. And that is important, how you have to relate, integrate your meditation technique while you are speeding. And my teacher, His Holiness Thich Nhat Hanh, used to tell me all the time, relax. He didn't mean that relax means just leave everything. If I do that, that is only my limited understanding there. I guess relax means you can relax in every speedy situation, which means you do it, you go through the flow. But if you know how to relax within the speed, then there is no speed the way the speed we would interpret it. The speed which we interpret it is attention speed. But if you could able to balance yourself in a relaxedness while going through the speed,

[63:42]

the more the speed, the more the clarity actually, the more the energy of the enlightened nature. So, it's something, you know, the speed, the question of speed is not bad, actually. But speediness with attention, speediness with not a relaxation, that creates the unbalance, and that creates energy, and that energy could be like tension, and it could be like pain in our chest, pain in our back. Usually, I heard in big companies, they have like people working extremely speedy. They have to go through massage and things like that, which we could understand. But everything really is a question of our mind. The body is just like the subject, and mind is like the king. Body is like the servant,

[64:44]

and mind is like the boss. So, if you know how to work with the speediness, it's a question of mind, actually. Slowness is a question of mind, it's not really the physical part. The physical part do have a certain kind of experience, but basically, it's our mind. So, if we can find the balance while we are going through the speed, then we can have no problem, we would not have any tension in our body, because your mind is always in a relaxed state, no matter how it comes. And for that, we need understanding how we have to know that mind. And without knowing the mind, we cannot find that balance, because we would be feeding our minds with all kinds of tension, simply. And when we do not know how to see the mind as it is,

[65:49]

then we would create a very big deal for this mind. And the more big deal we make to this mind, then naturally the tension and unbalance happens in our life all the time. So, this kind of tension, not only the speediness of tension, not only in our ordinary life, it comes to a spiritual person. A spiritual person also has similar speediness with the tension of impatience and expectation to get enlightened right away, like the ordinary person has the expectation to become millionaire right away. You know? There is not the sense of relaxation. We lose the real essence. What is the real happiness?

[66:49]

It's the balance, it's the relaxedness, it's the openness. No matter what we do, that is the essence, which every essence goes through every minute. But when we lose that, no matter what we have, it's not going to benefit us at all. They all become a support for our pain, instead of a support for the opening and relaxation. So, it's something very important to see that part. So, a spiritual person also has similar speediness, and speediness is not bad, the speediness is good in a way. But relaxation is important, and the relaxation has the entire wisdom, the whole wisdom is carried by the relaxation, actually. That relaxation holds all the keys,

[67:49]

it has all the golden keys of experiencing all the complete balance of our energy. When we do not know to find that balance of relaxation within the speed, then we become unbalanced. And then it becomes laziness, if without the speed, a person could become laziness. Without the speed, a person on the path of enlightenment will become laziness, and will become, there is no strength to progressively go forward. So, a person needs speed also, but speed is not the only thing, speed has to have with the relaxation, with the openness, that is where the key lies, and that is where we have to find it. And finding it, that's how we do the meditation. And meditation is a speed. The speed is not something you create,

[68:53]

the speed is naturally your state of mind, the way it flows, that is the speed. We cannot create a speed. But of course, the intensity, we can function the way we want it. But meditation speed is a natural speed, so it's constantly you're learning, you're working with your speed, and at the same time you're learning how to relax within that intensity. Let's not talk about intensity, let's talk about within that speed, and within that flow. So you learn yourself, in every different expression, in every different flow, how to be yourself, no matter what that speed is concerned. You become yourself all the time. You move in the most swiftest swing around, no matter in any speed,

[69:55]

you are yourself. So it is learning that clarity, that speed is the clarity, the speed is the expression of your nature, where you are able to flow, where you are able to love yourself. You love yourself within the speed. And this is something one really has to discover, how to love oneself within the speed. And that is how, you see, the word meditation brings that technique, the meditation technique shows how to love oneself and be relaxed within that speed. And if a person has been a really advanced student,

[71:02]

let's talk about advanced student, it's better for them to do meditation in the most craziest place. Because the speed and the energy is so strong, they are able to transmute that whole energy into the most natural flow, the flow of that. So a person is able to balance slow and extremely speedy, whatever the flow of their mind. One is able to see that one taste without getting unbalanced. But a beginner is maybe better to go in a quiet place and do quiet practice. But basically we are working with our speed. So in which we all are related in this society, there is a speed. The world's system is built on speed in a relative sense.

[72:03]

Let's talk about in a relative sense there is more speed than in India. But in India they do have in one extent the same kind of speed because the flow of their mind is the same flow. You can say that the Indians people have a very slow flow of their mind. While in America people have a tremendous flow of their mind. It's the same speed. But the way we work with our speed is different. The way we work with our speed is different but both works in certain limitations, in certain tension in an ordinary sense. But within the practice we learn to scope within the speed and to be relaxed. So you might notice that many great teachers even they can go for days and days,

[73:03]

hours and hours, sometimes they express themselves, they show that they do not have their tense, they do not have their tiring, or they do not, some may have some physical problem, then it's a different question. But the vitality is always there because that is the balance of the speed in them. It expresses the balance of the speed. And that we all have that nature, you see. And that is very important. So therefore when you go through meditation you are balancing a lot of different, you are working with our speed and you are really finding the balance of your energy. And that is what I think is very important. So working with our speed, it's not that we have to escape from the situation. If we try to escape, then it's simply we are not accepting the reality.

[74:09]

We are trying to escape. That's not the question. This question remains balanced within the speed. That is the most essential thing. So, now when we talk about all this different energy, I think very important, you see, if I have to tell you something, really, really, really do it well, then you've got to do 100,000 prostrations. And then you should do some, you should really approach step by step. And then it can be very good. It can be really genuine. You are able, you are learning, you are opening up, you are opening up the closed channels, the blockages which are there

[75:11]

through these different means. And that is how in one lifetime there can be realisation. No one said that without going through a little bit of pain, we would just have like that. You know, it's not a question of pain also, it's a question of willingness, really a seriousness, showing a responsibility, a caring for ourself. And it's important, it's very important. Otherwise we will all go to the straight drink, you know, like the straight meditation. But we all went through like that. Why a great teacher, like in the past, they would show this thing, saying that a person should do those things, because there's a gross element. We do have a gross element. And to work with that gross element, we have to work accordingly to balance our energy by a gross mean. The gross mean in a physical level is like a frustration. A gross mean, a gross skillful mean.

[76:13]

A gross skillful mean of a speech is a certain purification of mantra practice. And a gross balance of mind at a beginning level is concentration meditation. You know, gross. There is something in front of you, and there you are very gross. You're working. And by working that, then you go more subtle. Once you're able to have that balance, then your next step is formless. From form, you go to formless. And then formless, also you cannot get stuck in a subtle nature. You have to overcome that subtlety, and you have to go over the subtleness also. And so therefore, a person has a genuine experience, a person is willing to seriously work, and then we could have a genuine experience and enlighten each other. If you're not able to do that, you know, it is difficult. I will say it is difficult, really difficult.

[77:17]

It's not easy. To tell the honesty, I really think it's difficult. Even in a person like day to day, when I go, when I travel, for instance, I meet a lot of different people. Sometimes there are people, those who have tremendous emotions, and if you're in the same space, you share those emotions. And if you do not have the balance skills, how to balance yourself, it could be extremely like eating you. You see, it could be like sucking you, all your energies and drain you. So, I've noticed how much the practice can like recharge, you know, recharge that, and how much it can balance oneself in cleaning up that mess. And if you do not have the skill,

[78:21]

we have no means to cleaning up that mess, that mess becomes more thicker and thicker and thicker, and finally one day, whether we will kill somebody, or we will do something extremely crazy. And then there are also different things. Now, that is again not enough. Then there are situations like when you, when you share certain space, you become exposed to the other person's energy. The other person's energy in a physical way, the other person's energy in a mental way, the other person in emotional, everything you, we are vulnerable, we are open to them. And when that happens, if the person has a very positive energy, you also share that positive energy, you also experience that, because it mingles in the space. The space is open, so you share that.

[79:24]

But if it's something negative, again there you go through that experience, because that still means that we are not fully open into our element, our element is still subtle. Even if subtle, it's subtle, you see. Though bodhisattvas do not have gross emotion, but they have subtle emotion. Subtle emotion still is a subtle emotion at a certain level. One has to open that up, but it does not become the cause of, furthermore, suffering. But it's still a very subtle thing, you see. And of course, in ordinary sense, it's like, as I put the example, it's like having the raw coffee in your cup, and the bodhisattva's emotion is like the coffee is taken out, and you can smell the cup, there is the coffee smell. But it's not going to make anything thicker, because there is no substance of coffee. It's going to clean up very soon.

[80:28]

But still there is a certain smell of coffee. So therefore, there is this basic energy still, the energy still needs to be purified. So we become exposed to many different situations, different energies, different emotions, and so I can see that, you know, how much confused sometimes it can make us also, if we do not have certain strength and certain protection. It can make us confused, and it can direct us into something very strange too, this kind of energy. It's not an easy thing to live, actually, first of all. It's not an easy thing to... In a way, it appears to be very easy. We have nice movie theaters, you see, we have nice roads here, but at the same time it's difficult. Difficult because everyone has certain ideas,

[81:31]

and there are very few who totally realize who can see their clarity. But mostly they become pretty crazy. The clarity is not seen as a clarity. The clarity becomes some kind of wildness, something extremely wild. And since most of us' state of mind is going through an experience like that, then it's not easy to work without it. Someone could say something else, and someone could say something else, and then there's the problem in our personal life, there's a problem in society, there's a problem. So everything somehow is a question of enlightenment, you see. The society you are dealing with is a question of your happiness, and you have to have the key how to balance yourself. If you do not have the key how to balance yourself, all these things are going to make us more crazy instead of making us balanced.

[82:32]

And if we have the key, all these things we can take it as a support instead of being crazy. And that lies the wisdom of how one is to be patient and how one is to find that wisdom and find that balance. So, as I said, from my own experience, it's not an easy world to live in. It's not an easy world to live in. But it's not something... I'm not discouraged with it at all because there's all the different means how to balance. And without the means, I think it's very difficult. So the mean is, you know, those who are doing meditation, they should really do it for one hour every day. When you do one hour meditation, it will really balance your state of mind. Even if you do not have the skill to work with different energies,

[83:37]

meditation will take care of a lot of energies. But there are certain energies which are so gross that you are not strong enough to deal with those energies. You need certain more help. Or you need the strength in yourself to work with those energies. So this is something one has to work step by step. And I think when you're really serious, it will happen to you. You will really do it. And that is something... Meditation is strong, but we need other helps too. I do my meditation, but also there are certain things like... For instance, sometimes I happen to go to dry-cleaning places.

[84:37]

Very simply. Dry-cleaning places is simply a dry-cleaning, you see. It's not a... Nothing extraordinary is happening there. But the moment I step into this dry-cleaning hall, it just makes me just like a dull, immediately. Because there are so many people who take their clothes, and we do not know each people's energy, their state of mind is linked with that cloth, you see. It's related with that cloth. And this room is vibrating with those emotions. It's really strange to tell this, but it's happening like that. And a person who is very sensitive really feels that immediately. So then... So then immediately I have to go back. Sometimes if it's very strong, then I need to do certain practice

[85:41]

to clean that impurity. Or through my meditation, it takes me at least like 10 to 15 minutes to clean up. And the person who does not have that sensitivity, it increases more, you see. And it also affects the state of mind because once it becomes a little bit dull, then it creates a certain kind of confusion in your mind how to relate with your energies. So there are many things like that. Many things like that. And we should be... We have to be concerned with those kind of energies also. Because once we are caught within a body like that, in a gross body, and if your meditation is very strong, then you could affect... The meditation can bring an effect immediately. But if the meditation is not strong, then one should do it more

[86:42]

and one should find the balance and one should not really look for that trouble in the first hand. So I'm not saying that you should not go to dry cleaning. You know, you don't take your clothes with a big long stick. That will be the most... You will be in the newspaper tomorrow. Front page. But there are certain things, there are many things, you see, things happening like that. So it's very important to find that balance through our meditation. And while going through the meditation, the diet we eat, the clothes we wear, if you have a tremendous... If your energy is extremely like too much excitement, you do not know how to work with that speed. If the speed is really transforming

[87:43]

into some kind of tremendous distraction, excitement, which could experience also, then you should put warmer clothes. You should wear more like... not too much white colors clothes, little bit more like blue and darker colors. So that will help you, that energy, seeing that color, that color helps you to bring your state of mind more balanced, more down. And if the mind is extremely dull, then we should put on like light clothes, should not be thick and warm. Put lighter clothes and white, especially white. It will increase that clarity, increases that vitality of that mind. So these are different aspects, different techniques how to work with meditation also. And in the diet,

[88:43]

if the mind is extremely too much excitement, one should eat more heavy food. You see, you take a little bit more oily food. And... no macrobiotic food. Macrobiotic food will make you more excitement in your mind. It's not that microbiotic creates excitement all the time. But if a state of mind is extremely like an excitement, then one should eat more heavy food. And in that way you are able to balance the energy, the flow of the energy becomes leveled down, and then you feel like more on the ground. And if your mind is extremely like too much heaviness, then one should eat vegetarian food. And microbiotic food is good in that state. Or more vegetarian and lighter foods, not too much oily. That creates the space in the mind to be opened up.

[89:47]

So diets, clothes, and the way we work, they all support the balance of our energy. So there are different ways how we have to find the balance of our energy. And once this energy is balanced, then the state of mind will become balanced also. And the state of mind's balance is a state of balance in your life, an essence, it's a question of essence. And the very secret essence is... that remains in your bodhicitta nature, that remains in your enlightened nature, able to know the nature of the mind. That is the very secret balance. And once you have that balance, then no matter how much craziness it will happen, it will never make you crazy. So that is the ultimate balance. So therefore, all this will be experienced step by step,

[90:49]

and one should be aware of how to handle this different energy. It's very important. So if you have any questions... I wanted to ask you about doing prostrations. It seems that when I stopped doing prostrations, I was at the point where, to use the expression, I had stirred up so much shit that I just couldn't take it. It seemed like it was doing just the opposite. So it's a question of approach and understanding. Prostrations, the process of doing prostrations, could you talk about that a little bit? Now basically, prostration relates to the body purification, which is the body is the production of our gross element. And working with this gross element,

[91:51]

as I said, we could have worked with a straight meditation sometimes. But sometimes, if it's very gross, a straight meditation would not work out completely. So therefore, a prostration is shown, going through a prostration, what a person experiences. If we are very, very sick, sometimes when you complete the prostration, the whole sickness goes, because one goes through that purification. But while going through purification, you cannot expect it to be easy also. Because when you clean a room, there will be dust. You cannot clean a room without expecting some dust. So you should be ready to understand that there will be some dust. And same thing, you should be ready that what you said, is easy to go through.

[92:55]

So, but you need the strength. You see, we need the strength to go through that. Like when I did my prostration, it was one of the very difficult time I had. I was in India many years ago, and I got a hepatitis. And my body was so weak, and it was not like here, where there is a really good nutritious food. It wasn't easy physically for me to do. Sometime I do my prostration, and I fell down, and I do not have the strength. But I knew that if I really do it, I would really overcome that obstacle through my strength of the mind. And my will was strong, and I was doing about 1,700 a day. And even it wasn't very easy for me to do, but I did it. And after when I did it, there are so many things came out,

[93:58]

you know, so many things. I think what really does experience the lightness of the body, the changes of the body, it is a tremendous balance in your body after that. But while going through that, it has not been easy. And I was ready to accept that, and I knew it's not going to be easy while going through that. I knew that, and I didn't expect it to be easy too. But after that, it was very well, it was completely fine. So many people go through like that. So the whole point of practice, when you go through that, certain techniques, extremely strong, going through that process of balancing the energy, we need to fix something, right?

[95:02]

You see, it's like a person whose hands are frozen, the doctor has to amputate them. If not, the whole body will be gone. So similarly like that, you know, when we create a balance, sometimes one will go through difficult. And that is natural too. As I said, when we clean the room, we should be ready to face the dust. But you need the strength, the courage to do it. And once you do it, then you really see the result of that. It's really not something, it's a direct experience you get. And you can see how much karma you are able to clean up. You can really see that. And how much lighter you really feel after that. And how much... So it's a very deep, profound question,

[96:07]

the question of frustration. First of all, we are able to clean our karma. More than cleaning the karma, at the same time you are able to see the nature of your mind. You are able to see the nature of the mind at a certain stage, because when you really bow down, you are really surrendering your ego and all the fear which you do not like to surrender usually. And when you surrender, then you are mingled into the space of enlightenment, the space of clarity. And there you really experience that clarity when you surrender that ego. So it's something more deeper and deeper. So in a very ordinary state we would say...

[96:58]

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