This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Whenever someone gives a talk I always remember that this lectern wobbles. And then after the talk, I forget all about it. And at a certain point, you know, after having repeated this many times, I just started to really enjoy that. You know, I just really enjoyed that, yet it wobbles. And then I forget. And so that as it happened, you know, I remembered one time, but I decided not to do anything about it because I enjoyed it so much.

[01:16]

So there you go. So somewhere along the way, Zen people, there's a bunch of people, Zen people, they became convinced of something. They became convinced of a certain understanding of

[02:25]

So these Zen people, in their quest for enlightenment and in their quest for entering deeply into the nature of reality, into their study of birth and death, these Zen people, they became convinced of a notion. And that notion is that whatever idea they had about the nature of reality, that wasn't the nature of reality. So they had ideas about the nature of reality, but somehow those ideas... weren't the nature of reality.

[03:32]

So these same people, they kind of took it a little bit further than that. They became aware that everything that moved through their sense gates. Sense gates like eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind. So they became aware that everything that moved through those gates that what happened was they put something on them.

[04:39]

They put a conceptual construction, they put an idea, they put a story on that which came through those gates. They put a story on what they saw, they heard, what they tasted, what they smelled, what they felt, and even what they thought. So they They understood that not only is their ideas about the nature of reality not the reality itself, but they understood that everything that they actually experienced wasn't the object that they were experiencing.

[05:48]

I have a lot of ideas about what just happened there. So they became quite interested in this. And they got together and talked about it a little bit. And they decided that they should sit down. They decided to sit down and see what happens. Actually, not all of them sat down.

[07:09]

Some of them stood. Some of them sat in chairs. Some of them lay down. Some of them walked. They came to see that all of the projections that they put onto the objects that were in their awareness, they came to see that those came from all their past actions. The ideas that they put onto the objects in their awareness came from their past actions. their past actions of body, speech, and mind.

[08:11]

They became aware of this. So essentially what they were experiencing, what they were seeing, was their In Buddhism we call it their karmic life. So they were a little taken aback by this. They may be a little concerned that everything that they were experiencing was their karmic life and everything that they were experiencing was Not reality, but their idea of reality.

[09:14]

So they continued to sit. And their sitting was, their sitting developed into a sitting that was very allowing. It was a very allowing kind of sitting. So it was allowing that which arises in mind to arise in mind and not elaborate on it, not do anything about it. So just to sit. just to sit with no other action, with no other imagination on top of the imagination, no other construction on top of the construction, just allowing things to arise.

[10:29]

And... What happened to them was that they started to experience a spaciousness around their belief. Their belief that their ideas were reality. They developed space around that. And in that space, what they found arising was patience. They found that in that space, patience for that which was arising was present.

[11:43]

and they found that there was a generosity. There was a generosity present. A generosity and a patience that comes from not holding on to fixed views. What arose for them was a radical non-judgment. Radical non-judgment because they They came to understand that that which was arising in mind was created by their past actions, was created by the past, by their conditioned life. And it happened as well that when they stopped sitting, when they got together and and cooked together and worked together, they found that this radical non-judgment and this patience and this generosity was present as well.

[12:58]

And it was present because they understood on an experiential level that not only was I seeing reality through a veil of my conceptual constructions, but everybody else was too. So it just happens that we are continuing to do what those Zen people have done by coming to Vizendo and sitting Zazen and allowing things to arise and pass away without elaboration and observing a spaciousness around our belief that the way we see the world is actually the way the world is.

[14:23]

happening and and sometimes we get glimpses of this radical non-judgment this radical non-judgment is the effect of wisdom of seeing reality as it is without the conceptual overlay. And this radical non-judgment is compassion. So,

[15:27]

Zen is unique because we do things that... Zen is unique because we work together. We engage in working and living very closely. one another. And we get to test the spaciousness that is the fruit of Zazen. We get to test that out and see how much we believe our stories about other people. And we also get to see how

[16:30]

that when we're patient, it's not that we're patient of someone else. It's that we're patient to our own mind. It's that we're patient to the ideas that we have about we think the world is, how we think the other person is, how we think this dialogue is going. So when this happens, when we have patience with ourself, the other person might be like, wow, thank you for being so patient with me. And you'd say, you're welcome. But that's not really what's going on. So in a way, we're lucky because we have the opportunity to apply, observe patience and generosity in every moment of mind.

[18:00]

In every moment of mind, there's the opportunity to apply patience and generosity. There's also the opportunity to do other things as well. Those two are pretty good. We've been having some departing monks ceremonies lately. A couple of monks who have entered the monastery, have formally entered the monastery.

[19:09]

I formally left the monastery. And tomorrow we're going to have another departing monk ceremony. And I'm really actually at a loss of words for what that means. It means to me. So I guess I just want to publicly appreciate

[20:10]

you, Judith, for being here and practicing. And I can't tell you how, I mean, my idea about our relationship, you know, isn't our relationship. And, um, I'm filled with gratitude for you. I know our paths will cross. Well, I know they're going to cross in the near future, but in the future, beyond the future, I look forward to practicing with you until we die.

[21:18]

After Judith, there's Dan. Dan's not here. Dan's going too. I haven't been practicing with Dan for as long. Judith and I have been practicing for almost nine years. after Dan, Malko and I will be departing. So we'll do a departing monk ceremony together. And I've always... I mean, I've seen so many people leave, you know, and...

[22:32]

knowing that I was staying. And so to be actually leaving, it kind of doesn't make any sense. And we're not leaving... Like, I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to leave. I mean, really, I can't tell you. It's... Mako might be able to. But there's something about not making those decisions when we're just making the decision on the idea about things. Not the thing itself. There's so many ideas about why I should leave.

[23:40]

And equally, so many ideas about why I should stay. So I can say that I'm not leaving. The decision to leave wasn't based on any kind of aversion to being here. And it's kind of like That's what I've been waiting for. So Mako and I will be, on the 23rd, we'll be leaving and we'll be going to the airport, directly to the airport. We've kind of requested a rolling stop at the airport. You know, just kind of like open the door and kind of push us out.

[24:42]

And we're flying to Bangkok. Flying to Bangkok and we're going to spend a little bit of time in Thailand. And then we're going to go to India. And we're going to meet Judith in India. as well as our teacher, Paul Haller, all three of our teachers, and a number of other people. A Dharma sister of ours has bought some land in southern India, and we're planning, there's a plan, there's an idea about building a zendo. So we're going to... We're going to jump right into that. You know, I don't know what's going to happen.

[25:50]

My intention is to observe how I put ideas... onto what's happening. And I'm going to cultivate the space to allow those things to come forward and express themselves. So that's my intention. And we're going to be writing about it. So as some of you know, we'll be writing about it so that we can stay in touch, actually.

[27:02]

Mako and I Mako ordained in 2004, and I ordained in 2007. And our teacher, Paul, gave us the same name. So, almost the same, half of our name is the same. Her name is Unzan Doshin. Unzan is Cloud Mountain. Doshin is Way of the Heart. Chin also means mind, but Paul was very clear about which one was your name. And my name is Unzan Etsudo, Cloud Mountain, Joyful Way. So I think for a long time we were just kind of like, I can't believe you did that.

[28:12]

You know, we were just like, you know, we kind of, I mean, for me, I was like, I can't believe you did that. And there was some, like, denial of the activity of it happening. And then when we decided to leave and decided to write about it, so we've started a blog. You know, we've been here for, I've been here for nine years, Marco's been here for ten years, so this whole blogging event, you know, we don't, you know, but we did, we've started a blog, And it's called The Cloud Mountains. Cloudmountains.com. But it was really kind of profound to finally accept that. To accept that our names are the same. It was kind of sweet. So we'll both be writing on this blog. And I hope you

[29:13]

I hope you stay in touch. I hope that we stay in touch in this way. And that you support us doing this. I'm so happy about all the friends that I've made in my time here, in practice period, in summer, in work period. It fills me with life.

[30:16]

Thank you all so much for your presence. You're not always believing your story about things. For the... the radical non-judgment that you have afforded me. After... I want to read you something.

[31:41]

Aung San Suu Kyi, from her book Freedom from Fear, she writes, Fearlessness may be a gift but perhaps more precious is the courage acquired through endeavor. Courage that comes from cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear dictate one's actions. Courage that could be described as grace under pressure. Grace which is renewed repeatedly in the face of harsh unremitting pressure. So, you know, in light of what I've just said tonight, it's like the bodhisattva, the enlightening being...

[32:54]

renews repeatedly this radical non-judgment over and over each moment, each thought. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[33:35]

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