This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So we will finish not only our last sishi talk today, but our last Dharma talk of the practice period, this talk. And I wanted to come back to the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree and his efforts and

[01:02]

Realizations. And then I want to look at friendship and Bodhisattva activity in the world. So that's a kind of broad outline. We'll see what happens. I've been enjoying all these. I don't remember ever enjoying them so much as this particular year, practice period. And I've been gathering them as others have, I think, and bringing them into the cabin. And the Anja has made arrangements on the altar. And I've brought more in and placed them here, there, and everywhere. Yesterday, I brought two handfuls of sycamore leaves that I came up to the cabin on my desk, was spread with, Dianja had put Japanese maple leaves all over the desk, and I said, pretty soon we're going to have to start raking inside that cabin.

[02:12]

There was so many of these. And this is, I think there's more work to be done on it, but this poem that's been appearing for me, which is something like this. I probably should recite it before it's Complete, but anyway. Leaves hurled to the earth like giant brown leathery gloves lined in vegetative fur. Sycamores throwing down the gauntlet to winter. So, back to the Buddha. Now, So as you recall, Mara was sent on his or her way and very despondent. And when this happened, this is coming from a long poem written in somewhere between 675, 643 and 675, you know,

[03:30]

in our first century in India by Ashwa Gosha. It's called Buddha Karita. And I have a copy of it. It was translated in 1873 and then in the 1930s. And it's now online. It's a PDF online. Buddha Karita. And I didn't bring the book with me, but I was able to find it. And it's... very poetic, lots of imagery about the Buddha's life, the acts, karitas, the acts of the Buddha. And it's the Great Departure and all of poetry. So when Mara leaves, there's a voice in the sky, kind of bodiless voice, maybe Indra or someone who says to Mara, and the voice is very kind, unruffled by enmity.

[04:32]

Take not on thyself, O Mara, this vain fatigue. Throw aside thy malevolence and retire in peace. This sage cannot be shaken by thee any more than thy mighty, any more than the mighty Mount Meru by the wind. And this voice also says to Mara, such is that purpose of his, that heroic effort, that glorious strength, that compassion for all beings. Until he attains the higher wisdom, he will never rise from his seat, just as the sun does not rise without dispelling darkness. So this is this voice to Mara. You're not going to move him. You're not going to move the Buddha, Shakyamuni, Siddhartha, from this seat.

[05:34]

Give it up, Mara. Go in peace. It's not going to happen. And I like that this voice in this rendition comes in to kind of, the Buddha is in silence, to say, as a good friend, with no enmity, this is, you know, don't fatigue yourself. And then the Buddha sits and establishes concentration, and then it goes to the four watches of the night with the Buddha. Meanwhile, just to round out the picture, Yasodhara, the Buddha's wife, goes into labor. This is after six years she's been carrying this child, and the night of Buddha's enlightenment, she goes into labor, so they're both making efforts, parallel quests.

[06:36]

So the night's divided into four watches, and two or three hours with each watch. So in the first watch of the night, the Buddha, established in tranquility, in concentration, he also goes through different jhana states, you know, up and down through the jhanas. He's established in concentration, and he has an insight into his own past lives. And he sees his own. And this compassion arises for that. consciousness, that transmigrating being. And he also sees in the first watch of the night that insubstantiality of self combined with this seeing his past lives, that there's no abiding self in relation to himself.

[07:48]

He sees that in the first watch of the night. In the second water of the night, he sees karma and rebirth, the connection of actions and states of being for all beings, for everyone. He starts with himself, and then he sees this for all beings, the results of karmic activities, wholesome and unwholesome. In very poetic language, Buddha Karita describes the different realms, which have karmic realms, the six realms that we chant every day. May all beings in the six realms be nourished. And we did Sajiki ceremony for the hungry ghost, which is a realm. However we want to understand this, this non-abiding self, he saw brothers as well.

[08:55]

And not only that, but that people suffer terribly in these different realms by virtue of consequences of actions and karmic factors. And a great compassion arises in them for beings. Due to seeing the suffering, you know, compassion is not just... oh, I feel sorry for you, or pity, or even empathy. It's that great compassion is wanting to relieve this suffering, seeing it, wanting to relieve it, which out of great compassion is really how Buddhas are born. It's the one great causal matter. One great matter is this great compassion.

[09:59]

And so in seeing the suffering of beings and due to actions, you know, choosing to do something, karma is voluntary action. Great compassion arose. That was the second watch of the night. And in the third watch of the night, he saw causality. He saw This is the nature of things. How did it come to be? And he reviewed backwards and forwards Pratita Samutbara, the 12-fold chain, or I think in earlier conditions it was a 10-fold chain, but basically, you know, ignorance, karmic formations, consciousness, name and form, six-sense field, contact, feeling, craving, grasping, becoming, birth, old, age, and death. And he saw how, out of ignorance, we do karmic activity, and that creates consciousness.

[11:05]

And then we have six organs, and we have feelings, we have contact, and then feeling, and eventually grasping, and it all starts again, around and around. And he reviewed that forward, and then, you know, What is the conditions for old age and death? Birth is the condition. What is the condition of birth becoming? How does becoming happen, you know, through grasping? And backwards and forwards he looked at 12-fold chain. And also in the 12-fold chain, he saw in this... and cause and effect, and cause and conditions, that there is no substantial self there. There's no self in that. This was further insight into no abiding self, first looking at his own life, then other beings, and then the nature, the deeper underpinnings of it, could not find a substantial self anywhere.

[12:17]

And by seeing that, through that insight, he came to tranquility. There's a calmness in seeing that there isn't a substantial self there. And also in that third watch of the night, the Eightfold Path and the Four Noble Truths Eightfold Path was an insight into how we with this. And in the fourth watch of the night, which was dawn, and in the Buddha Karita, it doesn't mention this, but other renditions do. At dawn, upon seeing the morning star, he was completely real. He completely realized his true self and had In the Buddha Karita it says, omniscience.

[13:25]

And in a different sutra it says, upon that awakening, the Buddha exclaimed, marvelous, marvelous, all beings, without exception, all beings and the great earth, without exception, are completely and thoroughly awakened. except for their delusion. They don't realize it. This realization includes all of us. All beings, without exception, and the Great Earth are completely and thoroughly. The nature is Buddha nature, awakened nature. That was the realization. And except for all the delusions and ignorance and we don't see it.

[14:29]

And then, of course, karmic actions based on that ignorance of not seeing that and belief in separate self, etc. And the wheel goes around. But the nature of the wheel itself is awakened. There's no self there. It's just... full functioning, dynamic functioning, Buddha functioning. So in some ways this is, you could say, the content of the Buddha's awakening, or verbal rendition, but there was a direct experience of everything I said, not seeing a separate self, not being able to find a substantial self in all this. And a great calm and tranquility and this opening. And at that moment, when the morning star came, the whole world participated in this.

[15:43]

The world swayed from side to side, you know. Another rendition is in eight ways. You know, the world shook in eight ways. And there was great light that shone. Drums resounded in the sky. And we will reenact that tomorrow. Drums resounded in our very own Tassara Valley. Breezes blew. There was rain that fell, light rain in a cloudless sky. And flowers and fruit out of season blossomed and ripened and fell from the sky. There was no anger anywhere. No enmity. And the world became tranquil. And everything and everyone rejoiced. This is the image except for Ma.

[16:46]

It says... And so this rejoicing in this awakening that includes everything, all beings without exception and the great earth. And in Norman Fisher's poem that we used to, on Buddha's birthday, there's very similar things that happen, these portents at Buddha's birth. where there is peace and animals stop fighting and flowers fall. So this happened again. And these are poetic images that make an attempt to express deep joy, a depth of which we don't know. And then the Buddha sat in this joy, really, for seven days, still under the Bodhi tree, and just enjoyed this awakening.

[18:05]

Sat by the Naranjara River under the Bodhi tree, and it says, without blinking, which, you know, whatever that means, completely still, completely absorbed and enjoying his awakening and filled, it says in the book, Buddhakarta, filled with his heart's desire. This was his desire for years and years and to fully enjoy it. And then, as we know, you know, he thought, I'm not sure. can teach you because of this ignorance and people will not be able to hear me and he was encouraged to teach there are people who have thin veils over their eyes and won't be able to hear you is what Indra encouraged the Buddha saying there are people go ahead and so out of compassion really it's out of compassion for the man he

[19:19]

for our sake, for the wheel of the world, for the well-being of the world, he set forth. And he left home at 29 years old on the Great Departure, and he was 35 when he set out to teach and taught until he was in his 80s, like 83 or so. Unrelectingly, unstintingly, whoever he met, all the four groups, monks and nuns, lay men and women, and he never went into kind of hermit's practice. He would take some time to be in the forest alone, but then come forth again, but he never secluded himself. He stayed with beings, stayed in community of different kinds, this whole teaching of. So these four watches of the night, you know, this is all through the night, and then being awoken at dawn, some people over the years, me included, have sat all through the night as a reenactment of this, and I don't recommend it or not recommend it.

[20:41]

I think it's some groups, that's their Rohatsu Sashin, always ends in Rome when I've done Rohatsu, that they sit the night, and... you know, in the third watch of the night, three o'clock in the morning, whatever, we're having espresso marzipan. Keep us going to the dawn. So some groups sit the night, and you may be called to, or maybe you've done that. When I did it, I was a wreck the next day. And there was big ceremonies, and there was things to do, and I could barely hold it together. So... However, if you haven't done yaza tonight, you might sit a little bit in the night in commemoration for the Buddha's, the four watches of the night, the Buddha's last night, or his last night as Siddhartha, before he became the awakened one.

[21:43]

You know, Buddha, the root Buddha for Buddha is to awaken, and the Buddha is the awakened one. So as we see the Buddha did this, oh, and Yasodhara gave birth to a son, and the story you may know is that the son was named Rahula, which means shatter, which always seemed like kind of a bummer. But actually there's another translation of Rahula, which has to do with where the moon, which constellation, the full moon that night, was going into the constellation of the Ram, which means Rahula, or is... Anyway, there's... So I choose to name Buddha's son Rahula, but with this other meaning, that's... And she gave birth, and mother and son were doing well.

[22:52]

So... I wanted to come back to what we were talking about yesterday, the dōtoku fascicle, Dogon's fascicle, dōtoku, which means translated as expressions or being able to speak, being able to express the truth, whether it's in words or not in words. And the story, I know some of you weren't here yesterday for lecture, but... the story near the end of that fascicle had to do with Shui Feng encountering a hermit. This is somebody who did leave community life, did set up a hermitage for years, practice on his own, and the encounter with Shui Feng lived in a monastery nearby about this hermit and what his practice was. And They had, they fully expressed themselves to each other in a wonderful way, understood each other completely.

[24:05]

As Dogen says, only a Buddha and a Buddha, only a dragon and a dragon could understand each other this way. And the Shui Feng came upon this, had heard from a student that there was this hermit out there, and this hermit hadn't shaved his head for years, and And Shui Feng set out with his attendant and a razor and saw the hermit and said right away, if you cannot express yourself, cannot do toku, this is expressing yourself, I will shave. If you can express yourself, I won't shave your head. If you can do toku, I won't shave your head. And the hermit went down to the brook down to the creek washed his hair and came back standing there and Shui Feng shaped his head this was their don't talk this was their and you know it's one of those puzzles Shui Feng said if you can express yourself I won't shave your head and he expressed himself by washing his hair

[25:24]

and being shaved. And at the end it said, this paragraph, know that Shui Feng checked out the hermit, and the hermit met with Shui Feng, with Dōtoku, with this expression, and beyond Dōtoku, this expression that's beyond our understanding of what expression can be. One got his head shaved, The other shaved his head. Thus, good friends of dotoku have a way to visit unexpectedly, have a way to pay an unexpected visit. Friends beyond expression have a place to be acquainted without expectation. Where there is mutual study toward knowing one another.

[26:31]

There's the practice of getting acquainted. Expression is actualized. There's a place for friends without expectation to come together and meet and get acquainted. And I think if we have expectations, a lot of ideas about somebody, labels, prejudices, stereotypes, biases. It is very hard to meet only a Buddha and a Buddha and to be really acquainted. Good friends of Dōtoku, of being able to communicate, being able to speak, have a way to visit one unexpectedly. Unexpected encounters.

[27:34]

So, I wanted to talk a little bit about friends and friendships, especially since many of us will be meeting with friends of all kinds pretty soon. And I wanted to share with you some of the things the Buddha said about friendship and the importance of it. And before I do that, I wanted to talk about this thing of biases and stereotypes and labels. So we've been talking about Buddha expressing full expression in silence. And with the story of the outsider, Vulture Peak, ascending a seat, you know, silence. And I just wanted to say that silence, you know, there's also the silence that is not full expression, but is because you have been silenced.

[28:47]

You have not been allowed to speak. There's the causes and conditions which say you can't speak, or I don't want to hear you, or I don't, I don't give you that opportunity. And so the remaining silent in those cases is oppression, is being silenced. So I just want us to not forget that. Silence, there's a place for silence as full expression and also when is silence out of fear, Because there's not respect enough, there's not, there's expectations that you're not the one to speak. And there's not listening. And then it's very hard to speak. I just wanted to bring that into the room in our discussion, all practice period, about speech.

[29:54]

Practice about bright speech and knowing. Silence, you know, may be an enforced silence. I also wanted to bring up in terms of labels and biases and that we all were unconscious, often unconscious bias, unconscious bias. disrespect, you know, from an unconscious place you don't even realize it. In this course I mentioned at Stanford on compassion, one of the studies that was done had to do with brain electrodes and so forth in different parts of the brain and then showing the people in the experiment different pictures, you know, video stuff, and then watching which parts of the brain's

[31:00]

brain lights up, and they were both inanimate objects, you know, furniture, food, this and that, and then people, and which part of the brain lights up for different people wearing different professional outfits, like nurses, and then there were people who were in dire straits, homeless people, different ethnic groups, and then they would check, you know, what lights up. And one of the most, what can I say, frightening, you know, because of consequences of it, the frightening finding from that study was that for certain people, when they were showed pictures of certain other people, the part of the brain that lit up was the same as for inanimate objects. non-human objects.

[32:01]

And that gave me some insight into how people treat other people and cruelty and the Holocaust and all sorts of horrors of our life and injustices. If, I mean, if someone were to ask that person, I'm sure they'd say, well, yes, that's a person. brain what's lighting up is for an inanimate object a non-human and what the consequences are of that unconscious bias and so the um we have to remain humble and examine you know our thoughts and our feelings and how do we get at if it's unconscious you know these these karmic formations, basically.

[33:03]

And how it is that compassion doesn't arise seeing a person. If you don't register in some deep way neuronally, in neuronal pathways, that this is human, where is compassion coming from? And I think this can change. Neuronal pathways are plastic. movable, flexible. So this is very painful for me in this class to accept that and accept it not for others, not for those people in 1942, but right now and me. Where is that operating in me? So as an example of full expression, dōtoku, that doesn't rely on words or phrases or the usual things.

[34:12]

I wanted to bring up the Bodhisattva just as a... as a laudatory chance. I brought her up in the class at Greenbelt, the Bodhisattva Helen Keller, who is a Hero for me, heroine, hero for me of huge importance. And Helen Keller, for those of you who may not know, I think she's renowned, but someone may not know, was at around the age of two, had some kind of terrible fever and was left blind and deaf and lived at home with her family. in a rather feral state almost, you know, not able to understand language or see. And those of you who saw The Miracle Worker, that movie, which is the story of Helen Keller's life with her teacher, Ann Sullivan, they show her at the dinner table, the family's eating, and she's like walking around behind them and...

[35:26]

you know, just grabbing food from their place and just, like, feeding their stuff like a, sort of like a wild animal, you know, very unkempt and not, kind of a wild state, you know. And the family employed this marvelous, extraordinary teacher, Ann Sullivan, who worked with her to teach her language and the language was a kind of alphabet tapped out on the palm of her hand. And Ann Sullivan, you know, it was kind of like this incredible effort and patience over and over and over until Helen, as a young girl, I think she was, I don't know, 10 or something like that, had this breakthrough where she made the connection between, in the movie it was water, water which she drank and could feel it all, and this tap, whatever the taps were, and also Ann Sullivan sang, putting her hand to her mouth, and sang water, water, and her connecting these taps and this water, this element, you know, and these

[36:53]

movements of the mouth, and she put it all together. Talk about breakthrough, talk about enlightenment, of breaking through into communication with all things and beings and being able to express yourself other than just basic needs, you know. In the movie, I really recommend the movie, The Miracle Worker, to see how it's enacted. It's... It's extraordinarily moving. And then Helen Keller went on to communicate. She learned five languages. I don't know. That's what I mean about this. She learned five languages with this manual alphabet that she was taught. She also graduated from Radcliffe College at at age 24.

[37:55]

She wrote many books using a kind of typing. She learned to speak and express herself verbally. It didn't sound like the way we're used to hearing people speak, but she could communicate. And she also, and this is a quote from her, she's thankful for the faculties and abilities she had. Her most productive pleasure was curiosity and imagination. So we often think, well, I don't have full capacity if I own it. And here's this person who's thanking for the capacity she had and for her own curiosity and imagination, a pleasure she took. She spoke of the joy of service and happiness that came from doing things for others. She was a champion of the poor at that time she said that she could go and visit these workshops and sweatshops and she could smell the poverty and the squalor.

[39:12]

She could go and visit and with her faculty she could smell the suffering. She also was a founder of the American Civil Liberties Union Civil Liberties Union, ACLU, founding member, she also was a big supporter of the NAACP. She devoted her life to helping beings and active in social justice. Yeah. What year that was? What year it was? I don't remember, I think. Forties? I'm not sure, does anyone know? So there was also at that time, if you were born deaf, let's say, you were put into a mental asylum, mental institution. She was very active in stopping that practice.

[40:13]

So here are perfectly intelligent beings who were just locked away. So... She had this great love of beings and beings with disabilities and did her best her whole life. And I also heard recently, and there's not much written about it, but I was happy to hear this, that she may have had a kind of partner for a while, that they almost got married. This is the first I heard of it. It's not a recent article. Anyway, this is a quote. Helping one's fellow human beings is the only excuse for being in this world. And in the doing of things to help one's fellows lays the secret of lasting happiness. That's Helen Keller.

[41:15]

So, how to be a friend... to beings and the importance of friendship. Ananda, you know, said to the Buddha once, noble friends and companions are half of the holy life. And the Buddha said, do not say so, Ananda. Do not say so. Also, this is the question and answer between Buddha and Ananda. The Buddha will answer, do not say so, Ananda. Do not say so, Ananda. Do not say so, Nan. Noble friends and companions are the whole of the Holy Life. Having noble friends and companions, the Buddha said, is the whole of the Holy Life. These relationships with one another, the way friends can help us, our compassion is, which is the one great cause

[42:24]

of our awakening is the reason, you know, that Buddha's appearing in the world is generated by our relationships with others, by seeing their suffering, by being there, generating compassion in relation to... So this hermit practice, that dovin-like community practice, you know, and this story of Doshan and Ungodoyo, You know, when Ungodoyo is being hermit, practicing being fed by the celestial spirit, and Tozan, that's Dukchang, says, said to Ungodoyo, Master Ungodoyo, I thought you were an enlightened man. What's going on here? Come to my apartment. Come to my room in the night. And then he tells him, don't think good or evil. and that the spirit can't find them. Dungshan didn't like this special state, special relationships with celestial beings that are taking, you know, feeding you all that.

[43:36]

Nor did Dogen. Nor did the Buddha. The Buddha did go off. He stayed in a relationship. So it's all, the whole of the holy life. So the Buddha gives some instructions about friends and friendships. and it's a particular supta for lay people. You know, I've often been quoting all practice period, what he says to the monks, you know, this is not right to speak in this way, either dharma talk or noble silence, but to lay people, they haven't left the family life or life of running a business and so forth. So he, the Buddha says some different things to lay people, which I thought were pretty important. especially since we're going off. I mean, we have our friendships here, our Dharma fellowship here, and we're going to be meeting with all sorts of people who maybe don't share our practice or understand. So the Buddha said that we usually choose people, we're drawn to people, you know, who share our practice.

[44:47]

Like-minded people. Kindred spirits were kind of drawn to people. Naturally kind. But then the Buddha asks, are your friends wholesome companions? And this is what a good friend is. Someone who brings out the best in you. Someone who emulates you when you're worth emulating. Who tells you directly when they admire you. gives you helpful feedback out of genuine concern for your well-being. And a good friend supports your wholesome actions and discourages your unwholesome actions. So, you know, are we being a wholesome friend? The unwholesome friend, there's four enemies that are disguised as friends, the Buddha talks about, and their names are the taker, the talker, the flatterer, and the reckless companion.

[45:56]

So the taker is one who's up for themselves. They weigh their interactions with the view to what's in it for them. They're marked by false generosity. and a tendency to put themselves first and disregard the needs of others. They also, they take a lot without giving very much. They perform duties out of fear, not because they want to, And they offer service to gain something. So that's the taker disguised as a friend. I remember once Darlene Cohen when she was quite ill and didn't have a whole bunch of surplus energy at Darlene at all.

[47:15]

And when she she realized she couldn't be with certain friends anymore because they were kind of the taker. She would feel sicker after she was with them, enervated. And she realized it probably always was that way to some degree, that they would take energy, talk about themselves, you know, not really have much regard for another person. But when she was well, you know, you don't notice it that much. It's kind of how they are. But when she was sick, you can't... miles back so easily. So then she actually had to stop spending time with certain people for her own health. And that's the taker, the talker. Saying things they don't mean, making promises they don't keep. We keep reminding you of their past generosity.

[48:32]

That was a good one. They promise future generosity. They mouth empty words of kindness. And they protest personal misfortune when called on to help. That's the topper. The flatterer supports both bad and good behavior indiscriminately. They praise you to your face and put you down behind your back. They sit things in your hearing and another when you're not around. the flatterer also defers to others if they seem important. If that person is important, well then you just defer, currying favor, flatter, and often currying favor or flattering the beautiful, the powerful, the famous.

[49:46]

The reckless companion is easily recognized as the Buddha. It's the friend who appeals to your weaknesses, induces you to stay out later than you are tempted, getting into situations you later regret, accompanying you in drinking and roaming around at night. Roaming the streets, hardying and gambling. Roaming around at night is... I mean, you can walk around and act like, you know, argue in places where you have no business being. So that's the reckless companion. And when you honor and associate with all these kinds of companions, they influence you and affect you. And your actions...

[50:51]

Well, it's said guided often. There's an image of a beautiful, beautiful smelling stick of incense, and if you wrap it in a dead fish, it will smell like a dead fish. If you wrap it in like a palm leaf, the palm leaf will smell like the incense. So what do you want to look for in a good friend, and are you finding this interesting? I don't want to bore you. I find it very interesting. So the Buddha says, he's talking to a young man. Young man, be aware of these four good-hearted friends. And they are the helper, the one who endures through good times and bad, the mentor, and the compassionate friend. So the helper is, they protect you when you're vulnerable. And also, they protect your wealth or your property or your stuff. You know, if they see that, gee, you left your backpack operating.

[51:55]

Your friend will take care of it for you, too. So they're protecting your stuff, too, your wealth. They're a refuge when you're afraid, and they provide double what you're requesting. You ask them to help with something, and they not only do the laundry, but they bake a cake. You just said, could you help me with my mom? They do double. That's the helper. The enduring friend tells you their secrets, guards your own secrets closely, doesn't abandon you in misfortune, even dying for you. So there's some friends that are, what do we call them, fair? Well, they're friends. You know, they're friends when you're doing great. You've got my latest family places to go.

[52:57]

But somehow, I remember when my parents were friends with another couple, couple couples in high school and college, and they're all friends. They do things together. And then two of these couples, a very successful business, and became well-to-do. that they did ask my parents to go on vacations with them anymore. Partially my parents couldn't afford what they were doing now, but the friendship did not endure, you know. It was a fair weather friend. And when my parents not necessarily were down and out, but then they didn't have anything to do with them anymore. So this is, a good friend endures with you through good times and bad. That was the enduring friend and was even dying for you. And I think we know of instances, not just in war, but in natural disaster or other things where someone goes in to save a friend or steps in front of them, pushes you out of the way.

[54:14]

This is not some idealistic thing. The mentor is a third of the wholesome friends. They restrain you from wrongdoing. They guide you towards good actions, telling you what you ought to know. And they show you the path to lasting happiness. Through probably the Dharma, I would say often mentors, the best gift is the gift of the Dharma to help you find your own path. And the last is the compassionate friend. And they do not rejoice in your misfortune. They have sympathetic joy. They rejoice in your fortune rather than being jealous of your fortune. They don't rejoice in your misfortune. They delight in your good fortune. They prevent others from speaking ill of you and encourage others who praise your good qualities.

[55:15]

So these are the different kinds of wholesome and unwholesome friends, and it's a wonderful article on this. So as we head out, whatever that is, an encounter both like-minded people and people who are not like-minded, how do we relate? How do we stay open with kindness? And how do we also not be openly influenced or deferred just because they're whoever they are? And can we, in terms of our friends, hone these skills, you know, examine our actions and be there for one another through good times and bad.

[56:25]

And I think, you know, we need each other. We need the support of our friends, especially, I actually don't want to privilege this moment. I think there's many, especially this moment, these times. There are many, many difficult things where we've been a little bit sheltered from in the valley, as we should be during retreat, during the ongo, and there may be an assault almost to our sensibilities and our hearts when we are immersed again, even for a short time. In our life outside, which always happens to some degree, And I think now maybe in particular there will be some difficult things to absorb. So those are the things I wanted to bring up today.

[57:38]

The Buddha's awakening friendship without expecting, you know, without slathering people with our bias and stereotypes, being aware that we can do that, allowing people, and this opening to people of all capabilities and all ways of expression. awe and respect and curiosity, as Helen Keller says here. And this bodhisattva vow to continue that endlessly. So, let's see. I think we have time for this last date.

[58:39]

I have a few questions if you'd like. Yes, Nate? It's only a picker. I wonder if I'm some sort of next year. I hope I'm at least next year.

[59:42]

I guess I do agree if I was just all this stuff. But I'm wondering how good it is. I don't think it's just all the wrong. There's a certain amount there. So I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, [...]

[61:00]

I think for all of us, I think the best kind of help is when we don't even know we helped. We don't even say, oh, I helped you. That already is almost too much. Or I'm the helper in the situation. is already, I'm the helper, that means you're the helpless. And it's a setup. Or I remember somebody was saying to me, I'm the healer in the situation. I wanted to be the healer, and I was going to do it. They were working with someone. And they were so identified and actually said, I wanted to be the healer. Well, already... There's a problem there.

[62:05]

So the best is just responding. You just respond. Was it help or not help? I don't know, but causes that, conditions that look like, time to pick up that glass that's all on the ground. I mean, it doesn't matter helper or not helper. They were helped, and I was there. The emptiness of giver, receiver, and gift, you know, is the most free, you know. However, in all of us, there's shadow. Like, I want to be seen as a helper. I want to be... And we have to notice if we're a do-gooder. Often people who are do-gooders, that people actually don't want them on the committee because it's all about them. They keep reminding you of the past things that they did that were so good. But just to join in with others... because you see such and such needs to be done without reference to, I'm going to help, is one way to kind of study it.

[63:13]

And the compulsive caregiving, you know, this combination of bodhisattva vow and compulsive caregiving that gets kind of mixed up for people, oh, well, that's my bodhisattva vow. The bodhisattva vow is an appropriate response, and if this is about... I want to be seen as the one who is the one that may be compulsive. At the same time, just to balance it. Don't hold back, you know, from lending a hand because there's shadow. Just study it, you know. Yes.

[64:23]

Yes. This is the art of living. The art. This is skillful means. This is skillful living out our lives. And it's trial and error. You waited too long, actually. You could have volunteered. There wasn't that much you in there. You actually didn't want to. You get to see shadow. You get to see what's there. And then you try it again. And you try it again. I think... with a grounded touching the earth, you know, rather than... The thing about I'm the helper, I'm the healer, it's very ungrounded. You lift off into I'm the one. And it's not even.

[65:25]

It's not even. This is the helper, or the giver, receiver, and gift. It's just you come together, you make a mudra in the world, you know, with others. But it's not you. It's not them. It's coming together. So... Yeah, sometimes we waited too long. Just what occurs to my mind is my aunt who was dying and I was going to call and tell her I loved her. And I kept putting it off. And by the time I called, her son said, it's too late now. She's not talking to anybody. And it's not the right time. I had all sorts of, but I hesitated. I put it off. for whatever reason, but it was, and I have regret. Now that seed's been planting, and if somebody's, you know, I try to act in those situations more.

[66:30]

So when I say art of living and your practice life, that's what it is, and maturing and maturing through that. I was wondering if you've been emphasizing... Yes. Is there a place, let's say, in specific situations where you would possibly find her teachings to? Well, I know some, you know, let me just include that in their practices. Tibetan, you know, I know a number of people have done a three-year, three-day, three-hour retreats. So I think there's a place for it if that's, you know, if you have the support of the teaching and teachers who have done it and know what the maras are and pitfalls and can help, you know.

[67:31]

So definitely there's a place. Many traditions have that. This particular lineage, I think, is more returned to the marketplace with gift-bestowing hands. kind of as the full realization of one's spiritual life, yeah. And I don't think it needs monasteries to say there's all sorts of communities, it's communities of friends, communities of associations of all kinds, rather than isolation, and I don't need anybody, and I'm going to just do it myself, or whatever. So it doesn't, I'm not saying It's the non-departure from yesterday's talk when I talked about non-departure from the monastery for a lifetime. Doesn't mean you live in a monastery in your home. But you're always in relation. Yes, Laura.

[68:36]

I feel like I should be doing my vision. Why is it that when I look at the world? I can't always see this. Right. kind of go at what is it in my vision that's going to be corrupted. But then it also sequins up because there are other things that I can do to make my life more manifesting and make better conditions. But it feels like when I do that, It's very dynamic, actually.

[70:18]

that wanted to respond and shift instead of the full acceptance of that it's already all frappling. Is part of that feeling coming up in you, is it too? Rather than going away from something, it's another appearance, another reposition of the dynamic. It's full-functioning. And we do pivot, you know. If you want to attain sections, you should practice sections you left away. All of us out is just, just be it for death. See the world as for death. Just do it. And then it prevents You said it.

[71:32]

You said it all. That's it. It's as if you're saying things, they're perfect just the way you are. Right? That was the one sentence. That's exactly what you just said. And this practice suchness without delay, the suchness is that what you just said. And the dynamic of that. Practice that. We often go to one side or the other. Or get caught at one side or the other. Sam. I really want to be like that monk who has washed his hair. No. Not to get it cut. But I'll buzz it for you.

[72:34]

Hesitation practice. What is hesitation practice for? Did you say, what is hesitation practice for? Not for, maybe for, and how does boy practice hesitation completely? Because I feel like I have hearted into hesitation. I have hardly created a poem, and then I have like a bunch of ideas for a poem, or a bunch of good possibilities, and then I don't actually make them. You don't actually? I won't actually be completed after. Oh, it just remains unfinished. A bunch of great stuff. Perhaps. Yeah. It sounds in the realm of, excuse the word, discipline. Like coming back and doing it thoroughly and thoroughly rather than whatever the opposite of that is.

[73:47]

And I think discipline is very connected for me with full exertion. Yeah, I think he was fully exerting himself. He was fully practicing and the valley was deep and the dipper was long, right? He made a long work dipper and he would scoop water and practice all the time, probably 24 hours a day. So he was ready for the unexpected friend to come and express himself. And he didn't hesitate. He went down to the river, washed it hair, and came back and jerked and went as I could jump. Ready.

[74:49]

Thank you. Harold, it's so good to ask. You talked about his wholeheartedness, and it's interesting, a lot of us have, I went to each of the spec comments, like resisting wholeheartedly, and that seems like a negative thing, yet I've learned so much by resisting wholeheartedly. Guys, I'm sure you're everywhere. And I'll never forget those lessons, and I wouldn't have learned them without that person or whatever event. But it's my relationship to that person that is wholehearted. So the wholehearted, whether it's positive or negative, actually are both really helpful. And you come back into the pendulum. It's well-weighted. I really enjoyed your, the cotton was throwing down the gauntlet. That feels wholehearted.

[75:55]

Thank you. Thank you for that wholehearted and sick work. That wholehearted, whole... Often I've felt, if I may say, that you've finished what hasn't been said yet in the election. Folks, we come to the end. What do you think? of the end of the seven lectures and also our Dhamma Talks in this week under the Bodhi Tree. Thank you all very much for your attention and your questions and your sleepiness and your boredom and your anger and You are everything, whatever you brought.

[77:01]

That's what made the talks. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[77:30]

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