This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening and welcome to Zen Shinji, Zen Mind Temple. Zen heart, heart, mind, temple. Seems to be a good place for everything that's happening here right now. I know that there are many, many staff and students working very hard and joyfully, right?

[01:00]

working very joyfully to take care of Tassajara and take care of everyone who's here. I know I've been involved with a retreat having to do a Zen and nature. And there's another retreat I've noticed, True Person, which is what we all, when we go beyond who we think we are, the true person shows up. Go beyond may not be right, actually, maybe. People who are in that workshop would know. When you let go of, maybe when you let go of who you think you are. I know sometimes it's said that when people are sitting on meditation here, facing the wall, the person walking behind them, looking at their back, can see the true person.

[02:07]

But when they turn around and start talking, somehow that diminishes the experience or it confuses it. It looks like Not the whole true person is showing up. And then what else? Oh, there are people here from Santa Cruz in Monterey, right? So welcome. There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow afternoon for Catherine Dennis. great Zen teacher and her ashes coming to Tassajara. Today, in our Zen and nature retreat, we did some hiking.

[03:22]

We walked the horse pasture trail, which is an amazingly good shape thanks to the work of the trail crew. And sometimes in our walking we did most of it in silence and sometimes we had a bell and we rang the bell and when the bell sounded everybody stopped. And the stopping was a practice of being fully present with whatever, whatever is there, or you happen to stop when the bell rings. It was reminding me of how we, we need reminder, we need, it reminds me of how we need reminders to actually, B, say the true person means that the true person is connected with the earth.

[04:29]

The true person is, say, aware of the quality of humility, of being willing to just be receiving this gift of this life at this moment. All of the elements that come into it. So there's a quality of humility which is related to humus, related to compost. And all of the lives that go into the earth, that the earth is composed of billions and billions of lifetimes. just an inch of topsoil beneath your feet. Or not even topsoil. The rocks, many of the rocks in these mountains are the gift of billions of lives that lived in the sea.

[05:48]

And we're And their bodies, or what was left of their bodies, is formed into rock that's lifted up in these rising mountains. So with our practice of Zen and nature, we were appreciating how our lives are supported by the wild, by the mountains, by the air, the water, all the elements... and many, many, many billions of lifetimes. And yet it shows up just in a single leaf or a rock in the path. Now it's not so difficult maybe when you're walking on a wonderful, beautiful day and it's not even too hot. People are worried, is it going to be too hot? I'd say today it wasn't even too hot.

[06:55]

Whatever that is, what's too hot? But we did have to keep drinking water. But it's not so difficult to stop and for a moment when we're a group practicing together, you know, And then accept whatever is there at that moment when we stop, when the bell rings. But then other times maybe it seems it's really difficult. Dogen, Zen Master Dogen tells, or quotes, a little encounter where a student asked Zen Master Zen Zhou of Baosho. He said, what do you do when the hundreds of things, the thousands of things, 10,000 objects come all at once?

[08:04]

What do you do? And Zen Master Zen Zhou said, don't try to control them. Try to control them. So you may have had some kind of experience of many things coming all at once. And you weren't even reminded by a bell to stop and openly regard with a fresh mind these things. But this is the response. Don't try to control them. And then Dogen comments, his comment is something like, these are not objects at all. These are actually Buddha Dharma. These are actually manifestation of Buddha Dharma.

[09:13]

And should not be regarded as objects. So to say that whatever may be arising for you as Buddha Dharma is to say, this is Buddha. This is an awakening moment or a teaching opportunity or a learning opportunity. And Dharma is, we could say, this is just what is. Reality itself, which is not... anything so special. But someone told me that, you know, they were walking on the path and all of a sudden what came up right in front of them on the path was a wall of fear. No, they didn't say that. They actually said a wall of sadness. They said a wall of sadness.

[10:17]

And I thought, that's wonderful. You're walking along this mountain path and suddenly what arises is a wall of sadness. So it's great to, you know, a wall of sadness can come in just like a cloud on the mountain. And suddenly there it is. What do you do? What do you do? So if you take up this practice, you would say, don't try to control it. Be willing to meet it. If you try to change it at all, then you're moving out of your own, say, capacity and your own still place. So to meet a wall that arises like that is an opportunity to simply find your own stillness.

[11:32]

In talking about control, Suzuki Roshi said, our way of controlling things is to let them have their own field. Let your horse or cow have its own field. Our way of controlling things is to let each manifestation, it seems like an object, it seems substantial, to let it have its own, say, true moment of existence. And this is not to push it away, not to ignore it, but to let it actually be seen and fully seen, fully acknowledged. He said, the worst thing is to ignore it or to neglect it.

[12:44]

Now, when Gary Snyder studied Zen in Japan, and it's a different school of Zen, but there's only one Zen, right? There's only one Zen with a billion faces. I always thought that here in America, we always had Zen. We didn't know it. We need to have some teachers come and help us see it. So what is it? When Gary Snyder was leaving, his teacher said, well, Zen is two things. Very simple. Zen is two things. Easy to remember. Zazen. And tending the garden.

[13:50]

Any size garden. Tending the garden to me is an interesting... The word tending is important, I think. Which is different than managing the garden. This is like tending the wall of sadness. So whatever comes up... that you are tempted to want to manage or control, is presenting an opportunity for you to be awake with it. Just to be awake with it. So, tending the garden, and garden can mean all kinds of, to me, garden can mean anything. the 10,000 things, the one thing.

[14:53]

It can mean that the earth right under your feet. It can mean the person standing in front of you. So what is it to attend? You can only attend if you are willing to show up, you know. So tending the garden means showing up in relationships. Zazen could mean it could mean, say, the absolute. Zazen could mean where it's not messy. Everything is very, very still and calm and clear, right? Does anyone, does that sound right, people sitting Zazen?

[15:55]

Still and calm and clear. Sometimes we say Zazen is like the mountain that can just be imperturbable, right? Whatever the weather is, rain, snow, lightning, thunder, avalanche, Still, the mountain is simply just being the mountain. And zazen may be that kind of an image, but we may not even notice the mountain when we're sitting zazen. We may just notice the lightning and the thunder and the rain. The clouds sweeping in and completely blinding you, you know. And yet the practice of sitting, the stability of sitting, means that you've made the intention.

[17:01]

You've actually created a body of intention that is not turning away, that's not moving. So the body that, even if your body is... sleepy or squirming in Zazen, there's a body of intention that you've created that's beyond the body that you actually think is your body. And then it's helpful to have other people have a room full of people or at least a two or three or five people together creating this body of intention. This body of intention we say is sometimes we say it's a body of Buddha that is sometimes we say it's a bliss body or a body of repose

[18:17]

that includes all of the movements that may be moving around within it. We say Sambhogakaya Buddha. So even though you may feel the weather and the movement, it's important to respect the body that is beyond your own sense of identity. So, Zenzo said a little bit more. He said, if you move, he said, don't try to control when the 10,000 things come at you. Don't try to control them. Be completely still. If you move, it's like you're cut in half.

[19:20]

So if you move, then you are believing in the, say, subject-object duality. Believing too much in subject-object duality, if you believe that too much, you're actually cutting your own life in half. So when we were on the trail today walking, and stopping. Each time we're stopping, we're recalling that we are not separate from the mountains. We're not separate from the fragrance in the air. We're not separate. We can actually be the mountain. Here at Tassajara, you may begin to realize that you are

[20:25]

the mountain, that you are Tassajara Creek. You are not just who you think you are. And usually you don't go around saying, oh, I'm the mountain. People ask, you know, what's your name? And you give them your name. But there may be some feeling, some subtle feeling that you have, that you begin to feel something that's not really describable. I should check the time here. Add a little more time. So you are actually, let's say, benefiting. here at Tasahara, benefiting from the intention of many people coming here over many years now, decades.

[21:32]

We have a long way to go there to catch up with the mountains, right? How many million years? I was asking one of our Esalen friends from the Esalen tribe who used to live here, right? So we call him Little Bear, and I was asking him, how long does it take to become indigenous? How long does it take to become indigenous? How long does it take to actually grow out of this, you know, this place? And there's no absolute answer. There's not some measurable answer to that. He was very kind, though, by the way. He said, well, you Zen people are already indigenous because you respect the spirit of the mountains.

[22:44]

I don't know if all of us do. really have that feeling but I think he was being very kind but also he was suggesting what it does mean what does it mean to be of this place a true person of these mountains so there is a willingness then, a willingness to be, say, listening, listening very carefully. And it also means to, say, set aside one's own, say, selfishness Or petty concerns.

[23:49]

It doesn't mean that you don't have selfish, petty concerns. We have to have petty concerns. Is it a petty concern that I'm thirsty right now? Have a sip. Water is amazing, isn't it? It was last fall here at Tassar I was talking about a dew drop. How many molecules are in a dew drop? And one of the physicist students calculated that it was 1.1 sextillion or 1.1 times 10 to the 23rd that's a lot of molecules in one so that's maybe an average size drop some drops maybe a little bigger or smaller but I didn't quite get it until he said actually he wrote it all out and I don't remember it all quite right but he said if you were to build

[25:17]

If you were to build this molecule of water at the rate of adding one molecule per second, 24 hours a day, and you started at the time of Buddha, then it would basically take a kalpa. I forgot what that calculation was. But then he said, if you started at the time of the Big Bang, this one I do remember, started at the time of what we call the Big Bang, 14.3 billion years ago. 14.3 billion years ago, and you added one... molecule per second, it would be over 2,000 times the length of this universe's existence.

[26:29]

I can't grasp that, you know, at all, except to be in awe of this drop of water and to be in awe and in deep gratitude of how this life is supported when you think of all the drops of water in your body pause pause and reflect pause and reflect So we live. We are this little... We should be humble. So this is... The more we understand that, I think the closer we are to being indigenous. To actually have a sense that, okay, we belong here. Sometimes we have an image of the Buddha touching the earth.

[27:41]

Touching the earth while he was beset by clouds in his mind, right? Touching the earth in the earth supports him to be here. Oh yes, you can be here. You have a right to be here because of your compassionate actions. And the essence of compassion is to Not turn away. To be willing to show up with whatever arises. So it's actually right at the heart of not controlling things. To let everything have its space. So I wrote out two more things here.

[28:45]

I wrote out a Mary Oliver poem and apologize for not having it memorized. Mary Oliver published this in the book Twelve Moons in 1979 called Sleeping in the Forest. There's probably someone here who has it memorized, so forgive me. for reading it. I thought the earth remembered me. She took me back so tenderly. Arranging her dark skirts, her pockets full of lichens and seeds, I slept as never before. A stone on the riverbed. Nothing between me and the white fire of the stars, but my thoughts.

[29:52]

And they floated light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night I heard the small kingdoms breathing around me, the insects and the birds who do their work in the darkness. All night I rose and fell as if in water grappling with a luminous doom. By morning I had vanished at least a dozen times into something better. So this is sleeping in the forest like a stone.

[30:56]

No separation between the sleeping person and the stars. Here, the stars feel very close. You go out after this talk. The moon... hasn't risen yet so it's a good time to notice how close you are even though these stars are quite a ways off in our relative measurement but then in reality they are your own body the stars the mountains this is also your own body. And she slept like a stone and was aware of all of the breathing life around her.

[32:04]

All night I rose and fell as if in water. grappling with the luminous doom. It's great that doom is luminous, don't you think? Doom is just what happens. Doom is a wonderful, powerful word, but it is really We could say it is our karmic life. Everything that's ever happened that we have contributed to and everything that exists has contributed to has produced this moment. And all we have to do is wake up to it and it's luminous. By morning I had vanished at least a dozen times into something better.

[33:20]

So she accepted. I think to say a dozen times was really an understatement. By morning I had vanished at least a billion times into something beyond myself beyond my own idea of who I am and all of my troubles Robert Akin used to quote someone named Josh Billings who I don't know I don't know who Josh Billings is but Josh Billings said I'm an old man and I've had many troubles most of which never happened And I'd like to close with a Pete Seeger song and change.

[34:31]

So it goes, To my old brown earth and my old blue sky, I now give these last few molecules of I, and you who sing and you who stand nearby, I do charge you Not to cry. Guard well, our human chain. But I thought, guard well, our wild terrain. Okay. Yes. Oh. Happy birthday. Thank you. So guard well our wild terrain.

[35:33]

Watch well or tend well. Tend it and keep it strong as long as the sun does shine. And this our home. Keep pure and sweet and green. for I am yours and you are also mine. So some of you know it, so we can sing it. Sing it, you can join in if I can pitch it anywhere near, workable. To my old brown earth and to my old blue sky I now give these last few molecules of eye. And you who sing And you who stand nearby I do charge you not to cry Guard well this wild terrain Watch well you keep it strong As long as sun does shine And this our home

[36:53]

Keep pure and sweet and green, for I am yours and you are also mine. Someone was kind of joining in a little. Maybe we'll do it one more time at the risk of going over a minute and see if more can join in. To my old brown earth and to my old blue sky, I now give these last few molecules of I. And you who sing and you who stand nearby, I do charge you not to cry. Guard well this wild terrain Watch well you keep it strong As long as sun does shine And this our home Keep pure and sweet and green For I am yours

[38:16]

And you are also mine. So thank you for listening and thank you for singing. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit SSCC.org and click giving.

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