This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. As we start Sashin, you know, for each of us, in our own way, to remind ourselves... What is the demeanor of Shashin? What is right effort in Shashin? What is the resolve of Shashin? Where our intention becomes our actions. Actually, I think every single period of Zazen, it's helpful to remind ourselves of that. the many things that can happen to us, you know?

[01:08]

We can feel tired. We can feel preoccupied by something that's troubling us. We can feel listless and out of sorts, and we can feel confused. The whole process of Shashin, as we hold all that we are, one aspect of that process is to immerse in the subjectivity of being. These thoughts are happening here in this mind. These feelings are happening here in this being.

[02:13]

This perspective of other, this judgment of other is happening here in this being. This sense of the past and the sense of the future and the sense of the present are co-created by this being. And while it's an impassionate, a passionate part of our life that's always playing itself out, even when we're asleep, it's a great challenge to call it up into awareness. And it's very helpful within that process to have a clear appreciation and understanding of what Zazen asks of us.

[03:26]

And it's very helpful to have a clear expression of engagement in response to that request. And that's what I'd like to talk about this morning. I'd like to start with the opening lines of Dogen's Fukanza Zengi, universal admonitions on the way. I took the liberty of reading through five versions and then creating my own compilation from that. So I apologize in advance for the limitations of my own thinking and mind.

[04:35]

The way is originally complete and all-pervading. Inclusion. That as we sit, whatever happens is the way. And if you think about it, the ways we try to conjure up through our sincere and dedicated effort a version of reality that we think, then I will be able to fully commit. Would it be easier if that incident that happened in the way seeking mind talks hadn't happened? Maybe some part of us think yes.

[05:40]

But that's not the nature of existence. Existence is all over the place. It occurs in a whole myriad of ways, some of which we're deeply inspired by and some of which we find almost or maybe indeed repulsive. And then within the workings of our own being, so many things happen. And we can find ourselves wanting to promote this experience and suppress, compartmentalize, ignore, push away that experience. What are we doing when we do that?

[06:48]

part of ourselves and jettisoning another part of ourselves. The way is all-inclusive and all-pervading. And that proposition challenges us to not get stuck in trying to engage the process of zazen in fixing ourselves, in improving ourselves, purifying ourselves. This human consciousness is vast.

[07:54]

co-creates with the whole universe. It co-creates with everyone else sitting Shishin. And when we allow for that, even intellectually and attitudinally, it's actually a relief. Oh, I don't have to be This being that I am is completely sufficient and adequate for this process. In that way, sometimes blatantly and subtly, that we struggle with what we are grant ourselves permission to just be.

[09:07]

And to ask of ourselves the diligence to meet whatever arises. The way is all-inclusive and all-pervading. This was Dogen's opening statement in his version of what it is to do Zasin, of what it is to sit Shishin, of what it is to be human, and what it is to be part of this human family, what it is to be part of this all-being family. His next statement is, truth is naturally expressed.

[10:17]

What need is there for efforts to attain it? This has both a kind of obviousness and a subtlety. The obvious part of it is the suchness of what is. This moment is what it is. To just be part of it. And the subtlety comes up in that this is a profoundly conditioned existence. Each one of us is profoundly conditioned.

[11:26]

And if that conditioning is in charge, it will simply endeavor to repeat its karmic way of being. the habits, the prejudices, the biases will assert themselves. And we will live inside what they create. We will live inside the desires and the aversions they create. We will become mesmerized. by the narrative of past and future they created. So without losing the suchness of what is, without refuting it or ignoring its deep teaching, we're challenged to skillfully relate to

[12:39]

the karmic conditioning. And from a Zen perspective, that challenge, that request, is not a hindrance. It's not all. Why couldn't we be in the pure land? In the pure land, there is no desires and aversions. But as we bring what the karmic conditioning creates, as we bring it into awareness, it becomes a teacher. We start to see the subtlety of there is nothing to attain, so no doing is necessary.

[13:49]

And yet, within our karmic conditioning, there is a request to shift how it's related to things. And the nature of that request requires a variety of responses from us. The first one is the straightforward experience the experience that's being experienced. And how is that supported? And classically, that's supported by posture, awareness of body.

[14:59]

That's supported by awareness of breath in the body. That's supported by awareness of mind, mental states, emotions. and constructs what the mind's creating. And the more subtle request of us is that as we're engaging that admonition of those varieties of ways to be aware, that we don't become goal-oriented. Maybe this is the central challenge of Zazen. Dedicated, diligent, without a goal.

[16:09]

that process is supported by the notion that everything arises that arises is there to be attended to you know it modifies our impulse to have a goal and I'd offer you this notion that we start with a real mental engagement. Personally, I think it's very helpful to have a deliberate way in which you initiate contact with the body, the breath, the states of mind, and the mental constructs. And at every period of zazen, you sit.

[17:16]

that's where you begin. You begin from the beginning every period of Zazen. And in that beginning, you learn, oh, and what is this body now? What is this body in the first period of Shashin? What is this body in the last period of Shashin? What is this body in the early morning? What is this body late at night? What is this breath? And it's engaged purposefully and in a particular way. And I'm going to propose to you a particular way. not with some notion or assertion that this is the only way, but just to say it's a particular way.

[18:30]

And it's my own notion. It's in accord with the heritage of Shikantaza and the heritage of wholehearted effort. But I'll come back to that in a moment. I want to finish the two other statements Doga and Zenji makes. The whole body is beyond worldly dust. The whole body here is talking about all being. or maybe within Zazen, in the sense of subjectivity, that whatever arises in our being is perfectly and completely itself.

[19:33]

Usually we think, or maybe even beyond our thinking, we have the inclination to revere certain experiences and complain about other experiences that we have. These are greater and these are lesser. These are the more shining examples of awareness and these are the caudary failures of awareness. Again, we can draw ourselves back into some intrigue of what should and what should not be happening that influences our effort. is the product of your lifetime.

[20:56]

How amazing that in this particular moment, that thought, that memory, that feeling, that judgment, the whole product of a lifetime, meeting the influences of the moment and creating this. It's complete. It's not lacking. What is it to remind ourselves of that each time we start to sit? How else will we include the whole of our being? How else will our practice include the whole of our collective being?

[22:02]

And how easily that notion can slip away. And then Dogen Zenji offers a question in response to the whole body is beyond the worldly dust. Who could believe in a means to brush it clean? Maybe we can turn that around and say, what is it to not believe in a means to brush it clean? of attitude supports that our desires and aversions are just our effort to fulfill our life to create contentment to create a sense of being that feels whole that has integrity

[23:26]

And in a way, when we hold that too, then we can experience and hold, hopefully, with compassion and patience and kindness, this great dilemma that our lower mind can quickly appreciate the request of Zazen. Our being, right down to its visceral core, needs to be coached, needs to be supported, needs to be patiently guided into that all-embracing acceptance. So the other notion I would offer you is each time you sit down, remind yourself of what's being asked.

[24:38]

Patience, compassion, kindness. If you just think about it for a moment, if you make the process, if you make the territory of Zazen a place of impatience, a place of harshness, a place of a lack of benevolence, it will lose its attraction. Someone once said to me during Sashin, they said, I just want to get through it. Yeah. Don't we all just want to get through the difficulty, the harshness, the unpleasantness? that just getting through it undermines our wholehearted effort.

[25:50]

So if we can create within our zazen the benevolence, the kindness, the compassion, the patience, that the experience of zazen becomes a place becomes a way of being that we trust. That we trust it enough to give ourselves permission to be everything we are. You know, In the yoga of awareness, we think of shamatha, which is often a kind of concentration, often described as having two qualities, calmness and stopping.

[27:05]

And it can seem like, oh, well, then you've got to calm your mind and your heart, and you've got to stop being what you are. We can try that, but we won't succeed. And when we're frustrated with ourselves, when we're impatient with ourselves, that will seem appealing. Why don't I just stop being me? And why don't I stop struggling and be perfectly calm and serene? But it's the very nature of our demanding effort that's taking away a sense of settledness and calmness. It's the very demands...

[28:12]

of our effort to be something that we're not, that has an unending request. Moment by moment, you can say to yourself, stop being who you are. Stop being what you are. But it won't work. You will constantly be what you are. So we facilitate shamatha by accepting, by including, by shifting the request of our being. What is it to fully accept and experience what we are?

[29:18]

What is it to experience the experience that's being experienced? In some ways, it's like a paradox. But if I include all that noisy stuff, how will this mind become quiet? to shift in how what arises is related to. And to remind yourself that intellectually we can get the intellectual content of this is not so hard to grasp.

[30:23]

But to work with and discover how to relate it to, how to express it and actualize it in the midst of being this complex event that you are, that's our lifelong challenge. That's the request for patience, compassion, And that's the gift it gives us. And that's the gift that can flow through us to others. And so the intellect that's something, an intentionality.

[31:24]

The intentionality creates a resolve. The resolve creates a way of engaging and effort, if you wish. Sometimes we call it effortless effort. And that has an effect. that has a consequence. But the consequence isn't created by me doing. The consequence, to turn it into words, is more likely created by giving over. And that is not mediated by the intellect. That's mediated by how the experience of the moment is engaged.

[32:32]

And maybe that's a little bit of a complicated thought. As we endeavor to experience and we taste experiencing, that moment is being affirmed. That moment is allowed to be itself. That moment is included. Our experience in Zazen is our teacher. It's teaching us how to do Zazen. And let me briefly offer you some notions of Zazen.

[33:49]

Sit down. remind yourself. Be present. Don't settle for sleepiness. Don't settle for a determined effort to make yourself something you're not. Notice, open to whatever is there in that moment. In terms of thought, state of mind, mental content, sensations in the body. And then bring a careful attention to the body. What is it to adjust the posture so that it's balanced, settled?

[34:56]

with some energy. What is it to allow the breath? What is it to allow to breathe in the moment? How does the breath enter, how does it feel as it enters the body, as it fills the body? What is the request of the body to receive that breath? What is it to let the body open and soften? And I would suggest to you, you know, the initial three, five, ten breaths add some Almost like physical exaggeration.

[36:07]

Full attention. Drawing a fuller breath than usual. Pause. And then the same inquiry about the exhale. What is it to let go? What is it to release? What's it ask of the body? the breath and the body become intertwined. The breath and the body dancing together. And noticing what happens to the mind when that processes engaged like that. A little bit like saying, oh, what mental disposition is being brought to this period of zazen?

[37:19]

And then allowing that body-breath, breath-body, to be the foundation of sitting. Let everything come here, the signs, the smells, the tastes, the thoughts. Maybe even let them all be breathed. Let them all be inhaled. Let them all be exhaled. And when something distracts from that process, takes attention away, and there's noticing, notice

[38:33]

what's being noticed. A certain deliberateness. There is no rush in Zasa. You know, usually when we're distracted, what's conjured up has some kind of valence to it, positive or negative, some kind of attraction or aversion, some way that it's sort of disturbing. But can there be a way of engaging that just simply experiences what it was, what the distraction has created.

[39:35]

And then with that re-established awareness, start over. It's like we're inviting ourselves into a very deliberate, steady process. It's like we know in advance distractions will happen. The attention would wander. And so when the attention does wander, we're not surprised. Hopefully the impulse to get agitated or distressed be soothed with our patience, with our benevolence, with our compassion.

[40:49]

And that deliberateness can support a steady engagement. So that's my shorthanded version, which brought up for me this poem, which I think some of you have heard me read many times, by Amelia Earhart, the daring woman pilot who tried to fly around the world. wrote this courage is the price life extracts for granting peace courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace the soul that knows it not knows no release

[42:12]

from the little things. Nor the mountain heights where joy can hear the sound of wings. How can life grant us boon of living, compensate for the gray ugliness and hate, unless we dare each time make a choice we pay with courage to behold the resistlessness day. Unless we dare, each time we make a choice, we pay with courage to behold the resistlessness of the day and count it fair. Is that what it is to do zazen?

[43:19]

The request, meet the request of courage? My thoughts are each of us has our own particular challenge. Maybe in a way the challenge for each of us is to have fun while we figure out what our challenge is. Is it courage? Is it the ease up on being ambitious? Is it to soothe our sadness? Is it to steady our agitation?

[44:29]

Ease or anxiety? Whatever it is, Can we offer it compassion? Can zazen, can awareness become a good friend? Once there was someone who lived beside Zen Center at 340 page, It's City Center. And she was actually one of the finders, Della Gertz. She was one of the finders of Zen Center. Someone told me once that Della was the only one who had a real job. She worked as a schoolteacher.

[45:35]

And her salary was the primary support of the Zen Center. Anyway, Della's son was killed I died. He wasn't killed. He died. He drowned while swimming. And I went to visit Della when I heard. And I thought, oh, she'll be distraught. She'll be filled with, you know, remorse, sadness, grief. And when I went over, Della was sitting on her sofa very quietly, reading Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. Of course she was heartbroken. Of course she missed her son, his life cut short. But in the midst of it, sitting upright, in the midst of it, this too, this too is a human life.

[47:07]

This too is a Dharma gate. is the path of practice. Can we offer that to ourselves? Can we offer it to each other? Can we set the sheen with a resolve and a tenderheartedness? Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive.

[48:17]

Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[48:30]

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