Well, first of all, I want to congratulate all of us on the California Supreme Court's ruling regarding the right of us to all marry the person of our dreams. Yeah. I was in the dishroom when the announcement came out and some of the gay and lesbian people who live here. mostly quietly at Green Gulch, like the rest of us, were whooping it up. And so I think all of us were greatly enjoying the happy feeling that came from this announcement. And it brought to mind the possibility of liberation, how it must have felt for African-American people when Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, you know. The troubles weren't over, of course not.

[01:04]

We know that. And they're not over now. But I think we can be happy for a while anyway and can see the responsibility within each generation for making yet another step toward respect for all. So I hope all of you are happy. And for those of you who are not, at least I hope you're willing to talk about it. And because I think it's our vow that and our wish that all beings be happy and or even gay. And of course, that's your choice. So first of all, I wanted to bring up. A quotation from the Buddha, from the Dhammapada, which I, in looking back over some of my old lectures, I seem to bring up every single time, so here it is again. What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday.

[02:08]

Our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind. I think why I like this verse is that it's a pretty good summary of the entirety of the Buddha's wisdom teaching. What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday. And our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation, is a thought. So I think all of us have heard some version by now of the Buddha's enlightenment, how this young man who was deeply troubled by the suffering of the world, particularly the suffering of aging, sickness, and death, ran away from home and went into the forest

[03:15]

where he struggled for many years to find the cure and the cause of this suffering. So finally, with great determination, he sat down under a tree with a vow not to move until he had discovered an end of misery. And finally, after many days, on the morning of the eighth day, he woke up. And he had discovered the end of suffering. So all of us would like to know what happened there under the tree, what he found. And he did his best to teach us, and we're doing our best to try to learn. So I think it's really natural for us to imagine that a path, so what the Buddha called his discovery, was the path to liberation.

[04:19]

And a path for most of us goes from one place and arrives at another place. But the pathway of the Buddha's liberation was a bit more like a yo-yo on a string. Or like an inhalation followed by an exhalation. followed by an inhalation, and so on. So he saw how he rose up from the present moment and then came down again into the present moment, back and forth. And he watched himself rise and fall with his own thinking. And therefore he said, my life is a creation, of my mind. How amazing. Have you noticed that? You have? Good. That's good. So he attended to this arising and falling again and again, and he also noticed that as he watched his mind, as it arose and fell, that his whole body became more relaxed and calm and peaceful.

[05:39]

It's like the difference between looking at the scenery from the back of a galloping horse, from an agitated mind, and from the back of a horse that's standing still and chewing on straw. It's quite a different view. So I thought we could start today by just taking a few moments to try this practice of the Buddha ourselves. You know, just inhaling and exhaling, sitting on the back of an old nag, chewing on straw. This is called Yo-Yo Zen. Within the stillness of the present moment, we may begin to see that not much is really happening.

[08:11]

That there is nothing coming forward from the past and the future will never arrive. Despite the chirping of the birds and the bellowing of oxen all at once, there is a great spaciousness. a great calmness and a near-perfect peace. So this is one side of the Buddha's meditation practice, and it's called shamatha, tranquility. And shamatha is a very good thing for all of us to master, to know how to relax, how to calm down, how to take a break. From a calm mind, we can see what is real and we can respond appropriately. You know, I think we would all be very surprised if the firemen arrived at our house and became hysterical at the sight of the flames.

[09:21]

Now, unfortunately, calmness and stillness is good. but it's not the same as the cessation of suffering. The stillness and calmness is a respite. It is a holiday. But the cessation of suffering... Is that working? The cessation of suffering actually requires of us... our full presence of mind, a full attention to what it is that we think is happening, to what is going on in what we call the world. So being fully present allows us to enter the space between our inner fantasies and objective truth. And within that space, right there in the middle,

[10:31]

there's plenty of room for us and for all there is to both relax and to be at play. So this is what the Buddha called the path of liberation. He called it the middle way. The middle way. So studying the mind in the midst of creation, or what we call thinking, is the other side of the Buddha's meditation practice. So one side, shamatha, is tranquility practice, and the other side is called vipassana, or insight practice. Dogen puts it like this. Master Dogen, the Zen teacher who is the founder of our school, he says, think, insight practice. Think, not thinking, shamatha practice. Think, Not thinking. How do you think not thinking?

[11:36]

Non-thinking. Non-thinking. This is the essential art of Buddha's wisdom, of Buddha's practice. So in order for us to be free of suffering, we need both sides to be equally strong. So insight meditation is nothing less than learning all there is about ourselves, about our world, about each other, what's true, what's not true, what's near, what's far, looking deeper and deeper, over and over again, finding the point of stillness and generating movement and back again. The Buddha learned and noticed how the pattern of his thinking was creating the world in which he lived.

[12:41]

And he named this pattern of his thinking the law of karma, the law of karma. So karma means action, you know, like in Hollywood, lights, camera, action. So lights are awareness itself. Camera is focus, attention. And action is what's happening. What's happening? It's a play. Cut. That's shamatha. Cut. And let's do it again. If a man or a woman speaks or acts with an impure mind, here's a little continuation about the law of karma. From the Dhammapada again, if a man or a woman speaks or acts with an impure mind, then suffering follows them as the wheels of the cart follow the beast that draws the cart.

[13:45]

If a man or a woman speaks or acts with a pure mind, joy follows them as their own shadow. So during the time that he spent sitting under the tree, the young prince quite consciously played with this yo-yo of his mind. He sent it out and he brought it in. Sending it out, the future. Bringing it in, silence. Sending it out, the past. Bringing it in, silence. Out, desire, color, opinion, stories in silence. Back and forth, back and forth. Shamatha vipassana. So what he learned and what he saw was that he had become free from the productions of his own imagination.

[14:49]

Wouldn't that be good? free from the productions of your own imagination. What other freedom could there possibly be? And what his mind was producing wasn't true. However, he never forgot that it was powerful. Envy, hatred, jealousy, fear, productions of the mind. So as students of the way, we are also called on to watch the rolling in and the rolling out of our minds to see how they enter and fall and move twice around the world in the space of a moment. Just like the yo-yo. And if we get tired, we can do that trick called walking the dog. Remember that one? As though the entire world is standing still.

[15:59]

I used to love to do that. Dunkin' yo-yo. They had a steel center, right? So the string would... Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. To get a yo-yo. So according to the writings in the Pali Canon, once enlightenment was attained, the Buddha said these words. Seeking but not finding the house builder, I traveled through the rounds of countless births. Yo-yo out, yo-yo out, yo-yo out. Oh, painful is birth ever and ever again. House builder, you have now been seen. You shall not build the house again. Your rafters have been broken down and so too your ridge pole. My mind has now attained the unformed nirvana and reached the end of every kind of craving.

[17:05]

So with these teachings in mind, I wanted to ask you a few leading questions about yourselves, if you don't mind. And you don't have to answer. This is just to play. together so first of all I'd like to know how many of you in this room are younger than 100 years of age oh really I'll assume some of you are way past that then that's okay you don't have to vote how about 80 years of age how many are younger than 80 years of age yeah how about 60 years of age younger than 60 oh you kids 40 years of age. 40. All right. How about 20? Dropping like flies. Ah, good. Okay. 15. 10. 10. 10. Going one. 10. 9. 8. Gone.

[18:08]

Done. 8. Oh, no. 2. 1. 3. 4. 7. 8. Okay. Well... Anyone pregnant? Yeah? Going to be? Well, don't tell me. So anyway, most of us here, not everyone, but most of us here by social reckoning are what we call adults or grown-ups. Grown-ups. So I wanted to ask the grown-ups... if you would do another thing together with me, and that is to reflect on yourselves between the age of 10 and 14. Remember that? Junior high, puberty? Yeah. So what I'd like you to do, if you would, is just reflect for a few minutes or moments on any memories you can catch from that time

[19:19]

of people, events, you know, sadnesses, whatever might have happened to you then that you might be able to see created a kind of pathway to the person who you've become today. Major influences on your life. So just take a few moments and see if you can catch a glimpse from between 10 and 14. Who could remember anything?

[20:32]

Really? Nothing? Wow. Okay. Maybe you need more time. You can be alone or something. And those of you who remembered anything, who remembered a person? How about a place or an adventure? It's okay to vote more than once, and I see that you are. How about a story or a movie or a book? Anybody? Uh-huh. And if you don't mind sharing, how about a loss of a loved one? Yeah. So... This is what the Buddha means by what we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday. These thoughts and memories are still very much alive in us now, many years later for some of us.

[21:40]

And they have a lot to do with who we are, how we see ourselves, what we are today. In the same way, the thoughts we have today are going to create the life we know tomorrow. Very important to... to learn this, to know this. So what came to mind for me when I did this exercise a few days ago were two very strong memories. The first was of people, like many of you. And on the bright side, I thought of a couple of gifted teachers who had a way of making their subjects come to life. You know, there was Mr. Leone for history and Mr. Brown for science. You know, he actually picked up a rock and showed us what was under it. It was like, whoa, things, creatures crawling around.

[22:43]

It was so amazing. And then there was also the very handsome Mr. Weller who taught Latin and English. I had a classroom full of young girls. And me too. And he had been a Catholic priest. And he not only taught us Latin, but he transmitted his passion for spiritual truth. And on the darker side, I remembered Episcopal Bishop James Pike. Does anyone remember his name? Yeah? Episcopal Bishop James Pike... came to our church, and I met him afterwards at the coffee-tea time. And I remember him speaking with me. I don't know what he said, or I certainly wouldn't have answered much, but I remember his gaze, his deep blue eyes.

[23:48]

And not too many years later, Bishop Pike walked out into the Sinai Desert, And as I was told, for a meeting with his God. And Bishop Pike, as far as I know, never came back alive. And the other strong memory was of the changes that were overtaking my body at that time, you know. Changes that were not for me very happy. I remember feeling as I... was transforming into a woman, that it was painful. I had cramps and headaches, and I was embarrassed. Oh yeah, and pimples. It was embarrassing. And neither my parents nor I nor my teachers wanted to talk about this, and so we didn't. So...

[24:51]

I think my parents, probably the entire generation, thought of us as kids and that we would figure it all out just the way they had. That's what their parents did, let them figure it out. And we kind of figured it out, but I think we got it all wrong. I remember hearing from the other kids how very bad girls get pregnant. We didn't know how they got pregnant. It was just, that was the information I had. And so we all secretly read these, you know, not-so-good books, trying to get more information about that, how that happens. And I think it's probably true that my parents didn't really speak honestly with us about a lot of things, nor with one another or with their friends. There was something about... telling the truth that I think maybe wasn't in the culture.

[25:55]

Maybe not on purpose. You know, it was America in the 50s and we had just won the war. So we were good and there was good there. But not everything was good. And how do we tell the truth about the parts that aren't good? That's hard to do without... sounding like it's bad. We kind of slip from one side to the other. Where's the middle way between good and bad? Where's the truth? So I think that what I took for the truth was what was on the news, Walter Cronkite, he seemed like an honest man, and the ads for products, cigarettes and cars and wash day detergent. look pretty good, pretty true. And I don't think it was until I was a much older teen, maybe my late teens, that what I think now of as closer to the truth was spoken by people like Groucho Marx and Lenny Bruce, Rosa Parks and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[27:10]

They tried to speak to us about what they saw was the hypocrisy within our culture, the places where we weren't telling the truth. But by then, I think many in my generation had become fairly disillusioned and rebellious, as you all know. It's now become history. My life is history. But I can really appreciate how I ended up a Zen Buddhist priest. The threads were there from the early years. And largely, it's a result of cultural influence. But at the same time, on a personal level, there were two mentors, personal mentors, that mean a lot to me and only to me. You don't know them. You never heard of them. Well, you've now heard of George Weller. He's one, my Latin teacher. you know, who by the mere suggestion had me reading Thomas Aquinas at age 14.

[28:17]

And then there was Blanche Bunia, my mother's best friend, who taught me how to iron a man's shirt, which I can still do exceptionally well. If you ever need one ironed, let me know. So I don't find it to be much of a stretch to see how these influences have created the life that I see as myself to this day, both cultural and personal. You know, right now I am trying to study Buddhist philosophy, which is no easier at age 60 than Aquinas was when I was 14. And I do enjoy ironing my clothes, unlike everyone else in my household. So those are mine. And I'm sure that George Weller and Blanche Bunia had no idea that the small gifts they were giving to this young child would have such an impact on the adult I have come to be.

[29:21]

So it makes me smile in my heart when I think of them and how little they knew what they mean to me. I always will. So today we are going to honor and celebrate the coming of age of seven young women and six young men. They have been coming here for the last nine months and meeting with their four adult mentors here at Green Gulch Farm. And this program began many years ago when Norman Fisher, former abbot, was asked to mentor four young boys, and he did. And out of that, and out of his reflections, he wrote a book called Taking Our Places, The Buddhist Path to Truly Growing Up. And we've used that book ever since as the curriculum for our program. And after that, two other of our Zen Center elders, Barbara Wenger and Wendy Johnson, took up the program as their own children were turning into teenagers.

[30:29]

And another dozen or so young people came here and studied together with their mentors. So at this time, another Zen Center parent's child is turning into a teenager, which that would be me. So I've picked up the banner, and I'm carrying the program for my own child and for the other children who've come to join us here. And I think, as most parents, I have experienced the last few years as both wonderful and terrifying, seeing how my pretty little girl has been transforming in body, mind, and willpower into an adolescent. I am very grateful that she was willing to include the coming-of-age program in the things that she does. She really was their choice.

[31:31]

We've all been grateful that they said okay, and they've been coming time after time. So we really don't know, we parents, what goes on in those meetings because we promised the kids that their conversations are confidential. And I think what we fear is that they're talking about us. And I've been reassured by the mentors that that's indeed true. They do talk about their parents, and it's not always very flattering. Duh, you know. So even though it's a little embarrassing, I do deeply trust the mentors, and most of all, I trust the kids in the presence of one another to find their inner compassion and kindness. and their wisdom to support each other and to support this world because we really need it.

[32:31]

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind. So at the time of the Buddha's enlightenment, he saw how the entire world himself together are co-created and this is the great miracle of our existence and it's also the source of our grave responsibility we are all in this together there is no place to run and no place to hide and as we know the world's ice is starting to melt And I think we are deeply aware of the global competition for every nameable resource, for land and food, for breathable air and potable water, for money and energy.

[33:37]

And I think most of us aren't going to see the outcome of this terrible race. But we also are responsible to do all we can while we live in to change the course of the world so that our children may have a fighting chance. And I think we're not exactly out of time, but it's getting close. When the Dalai Lama was asked how to teach children about the world, he said, tell them about interdependence. Tell them about all the ways that they are not alone. So that's what we're going to do today in about half an hour. The children are going to come into this room. Some of their friends and family members are here today. And you're all welcome to come. I hope you will.

[34:39]

We're going to gaze at them and give them some small gifts. And we don't know. We can't possibly know. what influence what we're doing with these children will have on them in their future lives. But I think we are called on to ever and again try our best. So the final verses from the Dhammapada are like this. She insulted me. He hurt me. They defeated me. He robbed me. Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate. She insulted me. They hurt me. He defeated me. They robbed me. Those who think not such thoughts will be free from hate. For hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love. This is the eternal law. Those who know this do not fight against each other.

[35:43]

Thank you very much.

[35:45]

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