This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. In case you can't tell, I'm really happy to be here with you all and very, very grateful. Grateful to Abbot Mako. for inviting me to speak I'm grateful to everybody who is taking care of Tassajara and this valley I see how hard you're working and the food the zendo the garden the facilities thank you so much without all that and without all you there's no Tassajara so thank you And I'm also so grateful to our sister sanghas, great spirit sangha, where's Cynthia?

[01:10]

My dear Dharma sister and Ocean's compassion sangha, Stephen, my dear Dharma brother, and my own sangha, great compassion sangha. We've had a really wonderful week And they don't know it yet, but they have co-created this Dharma talk. So thank you for that. As we know from our practice, everything's co-created, right? To think any other way is a delusion. And I'm also grateful to Cynthia for bringing our teacher, Darlene Cohn, into the valley in this room. When she gave her talk on Wednesday, Darlene ordained us together. continue bringing Darlene into this room. She's integrated into my talk. And she died before she could give me dharma transmission.

[02:15]

As Cynthia mentioned, she had ovarian cancer as well as rheumatoid arthritis. And she was quite misshapen and in a lot of pain for a lot of her life. her husband Tony Patchell my other teacher gave me Dharma transition that is recognizing a full flowering of being a teacher and authorizing us to teach independently and an artist who knew Darlene very well made this Dharma stick also known as a kotsu and um I sometimes hear Darlene talking to me about this kotsu saying, it's bent, like me. And then I would add, it's very strong. Darlene was really strong and also sparkly.

[03:16]

So the student who made this kotsu really knew her very well. And when I hold it, when I bow to the altar with it, she's right here with us. right here and there and everywhere. So we have had a class all week called What's the Most Important Thing? And it's also been a lesson for me to watch what I call my classes because I cannot tell you how many people have sidled up to me and asked, so what is the most important thing? Tell me already. And that's been fun. And what's the most important thing, the most important point, is threaded through Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. I'm sure most or all of you have read it, heard of it, by our beloved founder, Shonru Suzuki Roshi.

[04:26]

And in fact... There are 24 passages, because I counted them, that tells you something about me, in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, with phrases like, this is the most important point, this is the most important thing, this is the most important lesson. And so we've had a lot of fun talking about that. And... I wanted to begin with three passages from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, which we discussed in our class yesterday. And our sangha curated them with me, though, again, they didn't know they were doing that, so thank you. And the first one is from part one of Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, Right Practice. So feel free to close your eyes and let these words just wash over you. This is the most important teaching. Not two and not one.

[05:29]

Our body and mind are not two and not one. If you think your body and mind are one, that is wrong. If you think they are both two, that is also wrong. Our body and mind are both two and one. We usually think that if something is not one, It's more than one. If it is not singular, it is plural. But in actual experience, our life is not only plural, but also singular. Each of us is both dependent and independent. So that's the good news. We're all interrelated, whether we like it or not. The second passage is from part two of Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. That's called Right Attitude. To be quite natural to ourselves and also to find what others say or do in the most appropriate way is quite difficult.

[06:38]

If we try to adjust ourselves intentionally in some way, it is impossible to be natural. So without any intentional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express yourself freely as you are is the most important thing. To make yourself happy and to make others happy too. And what's the point if we aren't all happy makers in some way? That's our practice, that's our life. The third quote that I wanted to share is from part three. That's right understanding. The most important point in our practice is to have right or perfect effort. Right effort directed in the right direction is necessary. If your effort is headed in the wrong direction, especially if you're not aware of this, it is a diluted effort.

[07:46]

our effort and our practice should be directed from achievement to non-achievement, which I think is a huge relief. From achievement to non-achievement, each of us is both dependent and independent. Express yourself freely as you are is the most important thing to make yourself happy and to make others happy. So there are many, many answers to what's the most important thing, which was a relief to me, because as I said, so many people were asking me that question. For example, the most important thing at this moment to me is being here with all of you and Darlene. That's the most important thing in this moment And when we all leave, the answer will probably change.

[08:50]

So how do we respond to what the moments in our lives call for? How do we cultivate a practice that readies us to respond with compassion, clarity, with loving kindness? On Wednesday, Cynthia talked about our vow to do no harm, to cultivate all good. That's the heart of our bodhisattva vow, and that is the heart of continuously responding to that question in our lives in a big way. Our vow to cultivate all good in a moment-to-moment way I'm with this person. What's the most important thing? I'm with that person.

[09:52]

What's the most important thing? I'm supposed to be working, but I want to go to the baths. What's the most important thing? It's a continuous question in practice. One of the things we talked about quite a lot this week in our class is what can hinder our response, our wholehearted response to that question. And so we looked at seeing clearly. How do we develop the skill? How do we practice seeing clearly? And how do we know when we're not, right? That's the definition of delusion. You don't know you've been deluded until you kind of come out of it. So, um, we looked at what distorts our perception of reality.

[10:52]

Because if I'm not seeing clearly what's in front of me, how can I respond to what's calling me? How can I respond to what needs to happen in that moment and the next and the next? And so we talked about demons. hindrances, poisons that interfere with our ability to see clearly. And of course, in our Zen practice, the classic hindrances or poisons are greed, hate, and delusion. And then there are offshoots that I think we're all familiar with that I call children or close cousins. insecurity, criticism of self and other, jealousy, envy.

[12:00]

You can nod your head, it's okay. What we all experience is humans. And there's nothing wrong. And we'll continue to experience it. And we get to wake up. Isn't that great news? That's what The word Buddha means awakened one. We can all wake up. And when I began practice, this may be a really big surprise to some of you, but I was suffering. And I felt so met by Darlene. And fairly early in our relationship, I had a practice discussion, Doka-san with her, one-on-one. conversation with your teacher about what's up. Sometimes from a practice point of view, sometimes you study text together. And so I kind of dragged myself into her room and I felt very downtrodden.

[13:05]

And I just said, I feel overwhelmed by thoughts and voices. And she was so delighted. She said, demons, you've brought your demons and we get to meet them together. And it felt so, we use the word liberation in practice, right? We practice and we move from the shore of suffering to liberation and freedom. And to face really negative, harsh voices of, you know, you're no good and et cetera, et cetera, with her, and her being so delighted in a way where I felt seen, not diminished, really inspired my confidence and a lightness of being.

[14:07]

A lightness of being, because we get to wake up together. And so she said, let's invite them in for tea and scones. Why not? And that's what we do at Zen Center and many Zen Centers. Anyone ever been to a Zen Center around Halloween? Raise your hand. So for those of you who haven't, we have a ceremony called Sijiki. And it's one of the few times you get to raise a ruckus in your meditation hall. And people, many people come in costumes. And the thing that blew me away the first time I went to Sijiki is that the altar was loaded with food. Organic apples and raisins and nuts and really good food. And the doshi, the priest leading the service, came in with a staff with these...

[15:17]

metal discs attached to it. And every time he walked from the outside to the inside, you heard him. And then everybody started clanging their pots and pans together. We were calling our demons. We were inviting them to join us, welcoming them and nourishing them. And this was a real revelation to me, especially, I don't remember when I had that practice discussion with Darlene, but it was before. my first Sajiki. And there are these paintings of greed, hate, and delusion, which are kind of scary. But we were all together calling our demons whatever those demons were and are. And we nourished them. We turned towards them. And that was, that is a metaphor for meeting our hindrances, meeting whatever is within us that causes us to hold back, to turn away from seeing clearly, to turn away from connecting with someone we love or connecting with someone we don't love when there's a need to commune with them.

[16:45]

One of the things I learned at the next year's Sajiki, symbolically speaking, is there are many ways to nourish your demons, because the altar that year, as opposed to organic apples and so forth, had Milky Way bars and M&Ms, and someone said a different person did the altar this year. They nourished their demons a little bit differently. And so how do we nourish our demons? How do we turn toward them? How do we hear them? and hear what might be underneath that needs to be taken care of. And to be able to see clearly, to be able to answer that continuous question, what is this moment calling for? What's the most important thing? We need to walk with our demons, and we need help doing it. We need teachers, and we need sangha or community. We need help, and that's okay. Just give me a moment because I'm a little riffing and I just want to see if I've said at least some of what I planned.

[17:52]

Okay, it's good so far. Ah, so one of the things I love about our practice is that we teach non-self, no-self, and yet this nourishment is a metaphor for self-acceptance. Because you can't have a light relationship with yourself and your idea of yourself until you accept yourself. And then you can let go a little. Then you can start to remember, it's not me alone. There's community, there's sangha. There's so much that supports us. I think one of the really wonderful aspects of being at Tassajara is how that is just brought forward. Everything that comes together to support us to practice and also to take care of Tassahara for those of us in Sangha weeks and to enjoy Tassahara for those who are in the Zen and Yoga retreat.

[19:04]

And your energy nourishes us and Tassahara as well. So thank you all. And One of the things that's always stayed with me in working with Darlene as a teacher is she called our demons our tendencies of mine, which for some people made it a lot easier to connect with. And knowing our tendency of mine intimately and deeply is a way of nourishing our relationship with them so that we can see them when they come up, right? So we can see them and speak or act or both wisely to cultivate all good and to clear the way for responding to the moment, responding to what's the most important thing.

[20:13]

And it's doable. We can turn towards our demons. We can recognize them. We can get to know them. And we can see when they come up. Oh, I'm feeling really insecure. That's one of my demons. And if that is triggered, I just think I'm not good enough. And it doesn't have such a good impact on my communication or my relationships. So... The more deeply I know that, I can see it come up and do something different. And it doesn't mean turning away or pushing away that tendency of mine. It's walking with it. It's meeting it. Like Darlene, we were side by side laughing and meeting the demons. And we can do that together. That's our practice. Remember the island of misfit toys?

[21:23]

Well, when I was planning this Dharma talk, this image came into my mind, the island of duality, right? That's where turning away from our demons or tendencies of mind lands us. The island of duality where I have to do it alone, where I don't feel connections with others, with the earth, with animals, turning away lands me in that lonely place of separation. And on this island, we don't get to feel all the wonderful elements, the people, the things, animate, inanimate, that come together to create where we are right now. And one of my favorite examples of this is Thich Nhat Hanh where he says, look at this piece of paper.

[22:30]

All you see is a piece of paper. Maybe you write on it and it goes into recycling tomorrow or it goes into your scrapbook of Dharma talks. But if you really look at it, you see the sun. You see the trees. You see rain. You see many hands making this piece of paper, getting it to us. Imagine that in a piece of paper we can see the sun, the rain, everything that nourishes the trees. Hopefully more were planted after they were harvested for the paper, let's hope. Imagine living a life like that. Imagine sailing off the island of duality, and coming to the island of connection. This world, right here, right now, waiting for us. All we need to do is see it. All we need to do is see it.

[23:34]

And that brings me to Beginner's Mind, which is the other teaching of Suzuki Roshi. We... dug into this week and beginner's mind a mind that is open a heart that is open not knowing is most intimate being okay with what we don't know and even delighting at what it can lead to like learning we're all each other's teachers and so we looked at How do we cultivate beginner's mind, especially after you've been around for a while, right? Whether it's practice or a profession or in a relationship. Darlene and her husband, Tony Patchell, were together for many, many years. And she developed a practice every morning of looking at him as if she had never seen him before.

[24:43]

Can you imagine doing that with everybody? who you've known for years and years. I mean, that would be revolutionary. As Cynthia said, Darlene was very innovative. And of course she had to joke, it took a little work some mornings with Tony, but she did it. Beginner's mind. Who are you, you fascinating creature I've been married to for 16 years? There's so much I don't know about you. Tell me. Let's tell each other. And so the tendencies of mind are demons, hindrances, poisons, whatever resonates as a name will always be with us. Just the nature of mind, and that is okay, better be okay. And it's how we respond, our choice to see

[25:46]

what's really happening in our heart minds that's important so that we can see clearly what the response is to this moment and the next and the next. So I'm gonna bring this to a close and I wanna read this beginner's mind quote from the book. This is from the prologue. For Zen students, the most important thing is not to be dualistic. Our original mind includes everything within itself. You should not lose your self-sufficient state of mind. If your mind is empty, it is open for anything. Open for anything. It is open to everything, everything.

[26:48]

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few. That's a lifetime's practice right there. And I want to close with Darlene. When I think of what's the most important thing in the big sense, what animates my life, one of the reasons I was so drawn to Darlene, it's embedded in this passage, which I will find in just a moment, I guarantee you. I will read it from here rather than her book.

[27:48]

She talks about the towering importance of our relations with our spouses, our children, our parents, our co-workers, even our relations with the clerks in the stores where we shop, the people we pass on the street, the beggar pleading to wash our car at the gas station, the person auditing us for the IRS, the driver who cuts us off on the freeway, or the driver we cut off. Everybody counts. None of these relationships is more sacred than any other. All these people are our teachers. Each encounter is an opportunity to receive the teaching of compassion, to be suddenly struck with the interconnectedness of all life. So I would like to be struck with the interconnectedness of all life right now by stopping talking and hearing from you.

[28:57]

Your questions, your comments, anything you want to share. And I thank you. And I thank Darlene. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[29:29]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_98.42