This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. A while back someone... wrote me an email and the structure of the email was something like this. They said, now I assume you did this and this and I'm really annoyed at you for that. And I emailed back and said, that's interesting you make an assumption which you assume is correct and have an emotional response to that and by the way it wasn't correct but isn't that the workings of our minds

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this way we bring forth reality and then respond to it as if it was thoroughly correct. The third day of Shashin. The third day is like the golden age of Zen. We sort of adjusted to the shock of Huxley Sheen's schedule, getting used to it, starting to settle in. We're not quite enlightened yet, but there's little glimpses. Moments where you see the workings of mind.

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Moments we connect to the breath. Moments where the sky empties out and there's presence. And we're in the middle of something, you know? too soon to start thinking about it being over. Well, maybe it's not for you. Maybe you're precocious, extra talented. So this. You know, thinking of this teaching I've been reading, In reading it, I was thinking there's an old Sufi teaching where the teacher says to the student, take this book of 50 stories and read them and notice the ones you like and then notice the ones you don't like.

[03:37]

And the student comes back and says, okay, I did that. And she says, now set aside the ones you like and study the ones you don't like. When I was in the Thuravadin tradition, very much the flavor and the same heritage, actually, as your yeast, this methodical, okay, work with this, work with this, work with this, work with this. And I didn't like it. Actually, I knew better. Exactly. I hadn't been practicing that long, but I knew what the most important point was, and I knew the proper way to practice it. So when something didn't agree with my knowing, well, guess what? It was wrong. Justifying my disapproval.

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This kind of methodical, steady, in my mind would say, My mind is not linear. My mind doesn't give over to a steady progression. Still doesn't. And so I thought, oh, well, I should get around to studying this now. In detail. Study it because I'm not inclined to study it. Read the stories you don't like. Sometimes in our practice we hinder teachings for ourselves

[05:56]

Because we've already concluded those are things we don't need to look at. Sometimes it's because we'd rather not look at them. Sometimes it's because they're not important. They're not the skillful way to practice. So I would say to you, watch. There's experiences that arise if some recollection or thought comes up and your immediate impulse is to push it away or push it down so you can return to the right practice, the right state of being. Notice that. asking master ma what is Buddha what is the process of awakening what is the mind that's aware and maybe you could even say aware it's aware master ma simply says this might

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this very mind, the mind that's asking that question. And then, whatever teaching we pick up, whatever teaching we put down, They're drawn into, they're attracted into consciousness. Oh, look at how the mind is working now. Oh, look at that story I just created and look at the response I'm having to my creation. Sometimes we're inspired. motivated what is our intention if not to some degree part of our own creation and from the you know in one way we could say well this is calling forth the non dual basis the non picking and choosing the non setting up and

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And Pudding died. This very mind is Buddha. Everything that arises is the ground of the Dharma. The expression of the Dharma. The Dharma gate. The opening to liberation. How is this called forth? How is it engaged in the midst of the clamor of karmic life? The process, almost since

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Maybe we could say, since the teachings of Shakyamuni. Settle the mind. Cultivate attention. And then abiding observation. And then over the centuries in Buddhism, how much cultivation, how much attention, as a prerequisite to this abiding. Different schools, different teachers have their notions. This observation. And here's the notion I've made up today. That They always are the front and back foot in walking.

[11:02]

From the very beginning. Noticing. It took me years to notice the absurdity that even though I was a beginning practitioner, I was convinced by the notion that I knew what awakening was, how to get there, It was just a matter of getting to it. I thought it would take about six months. Then I could get on with my life. Years to just notice that. Now when I think about it, I think, but it's so absurd.

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How could you not have noticed that after you've been practicing for 30 minutes? But to think even in Buddhism, you know, I think all Buddhist sects revere Shakyamuni. One of the clear instructions that he left was, don't make statues of me. What are we doing? In case you don't know, about 50 to 100 years later, there was the Dharma Wheel, symbol of practice. It wasn't a statue. And there was a footprint. See, it wasn't him, just his footprint. And then there was a hand.

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And then it all went to hell from there. It was like, you've got one hand, why not two hands? You've got two hands, why not a few arms, legs? Boom. Statue. Is it to watch me being me? Is it a function of concentration? Is it a function of abiding open awareness? Is it humility? willing to humorously say, what am I up to?

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Is it repentance? All my ancient twisted karma I now fully avow. Given all the stuff I get up to, still I vow to stay here and be present and not just keep reacting in some blind way. What is it? What is Buddha? You know, yesterday I was talking about citta, pradaya, and virta.

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Interesting formulation. You know, we come to practice and we're operating with our notions of reality, our notions of ourself, the persuasiveness of our memories. the way we have embodied our past experience, the allure of our anticipations. To what degree do these need to be softened, laid to rest, seen for what they are? That this abiding presence awakening with what's going on. In a way, this kind of question is the Zen contribution.

[16:29]

It's like the Zen holding up the flower. What's happening now? Even Zhuri, after his long list of things to attend to, how to attend to them, the adjustments to make when you're attending to them, at the end of the chapter he says, and in summary, this is the English translation, these adjustments most definitely do not have a fixed sequence of implementation. It's 60 pages of the breadth, A, B, C, D, E. The translator added the table of contents, A, B, C, D. I see.

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But he didn't have this comment, I think. Yes. These adjustments most definitely do not have fixed sequence of implementation. It occurs to me that when we step into the unknown, we can either be frightened or intrigued. Maybe they come together. I think, uh-oh, will I be okay? Will you get what you want? Will you be safe, secure, achieve all your goals, vanquish all your foes and demons?

[18:42]

In that case, will you get what you want? No, you won't. So relax. Are there possibilities of liberation that you haven't even thought of? Yes, there are. How about that for a notion? This attention, this way of engaging, this way of opening to what's going on, it has a balancing quality. It has a way of helping us to not lean too much this way or that way. When your fear comes up, Watch your mind grasp after this thought and try to suppress this one.

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When you watch your enthusiasm and dedication wax and wane. Interesting thing to watch. On a typical day, where in the day am I most dedicated? And where in the day am I not? This conditioned existence. This formulation in the Buddhist notion of mind over here You have the mind that generates its own reality, writes its email with assumptions, and then gets upset at those assumptions.

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And I'm assuming you did this. And why did you do that? That's really bad. And on the other hand, seeing the workings of mind. look at these workings of mind look at this impulse to anticipate create a reality and then yarn for it or dreaded or something in between this impulse to imbue this person When they say that or do that, it calls forth an emotional disposition from me.

[22:09]

Maybe one of sweetness and admiration. Maybe one of... How amazing the human condition. How amazing that intrinsically we have the capacity to hold our light in awareness. And how amazing in our diligence we can get busy accomplishing something we can decide here's exactly how you get enlightened and here I go doing it what is the mind what is the way of engaging what is the attitude

[23:35]

the intention of Buddha mind, of Buddha being. What an extraordinary, powerful question Dhamme asks Master Mah. What is Buddha? These adjustments definitely do not have fixed sequence of implementation. And yet we are dealing with a complex karmic existence. It's important to remember the admonition of our practice.

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How to deal with it. To wake up and see it for what it is. If somehow we get to think it's to not be me and be somebody else, well then we're ignoring Oscar Wilde. very wisely said you might as well be yourself everybody else is taken this is not the request of our practice it's to see it maybe we could say see through it or maybe we could just more modestly say it as a proposition of reality here's a proposition and watch how it flowers watch how it creates emotion watch how it creates a behavior watch how it creates a judgment of self or others

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recognize that this process reckless and dangerous as it is in its stepping into unknown territory this process is supported by the steadiness of presence coming back to now what's happening now Now the phenomena of momentary existence arise. The interplay of subject and object that give rise to the consciousness of this moment. to watch how that manifests in the body how that manifests in the breath how we can breathe it in how we can release it with the exhale because it's dynamic

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So one of the challenges of our practice is to be both diligent and adaptable. Usually diligence comes with a certain kind of rigid perseverance. Do this. And if it's not working, do it harder. Do this with a light touch. Do this because in the intrinsic wisdom of your being, this comes forth as the vow of practice. And a light touch. Let it be an experiment.

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don't know what the result is supposed to be. And this kind of mind, this kind of attitude, this kind of involvement, it has a zest. It has built into it a... in alignment with our natural curiosity and creativity. It's very interesting if you think about it. We like to digress from the reality in front of us and conjure up another version. When this zest, when this curiosity and creativity are meeting and exploring what's happening now, there's harmonizing.

[30:06]

There's more of an energetic synergy. There's more of a flow. Those moments when you're serving and the structure and the demand for attention and purposeful activity draw you into the moment and you flow with it. And then you make a mistake. Something that we've decided is, well, that's not the form. The form is this. And when we're in the flow, so be it. Here it is.

[31:16]

Move on. Serve the next person. Our structured practice is giving us these examples, these clues of the wind of the Zen school. What is it to be Buddha? The verse says, when you have this attitude, when you have this state of being, you wear Buddha's clothes, you eat Buddha's food. The inquiry of our practice is to watch, to feel, to experience the unfolding of Buddha way.

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We attend to the body to learn what is it to be body. We attend to the breath to learn how to be breath. not that there's a separate goal to be accomplished but there's this great Buddha field of learning and expression and in this learning we learn the particular of serving and we learn the particular of entering any situation that arises for our life. It's just another form of serving somebody lunch. So the third day, how to carry this

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attitude, disposition, way of being? Can it sink into our bones? Can it hold all the variations of me that we can come up with? we meet them with humor compassion forgiveness patience however whatever is appropriate in the moment this very mind is Buddha and this Buddha mind has a endless expressions and we sit time in Hridaya consciousness we sit time in the heart of being this amazing way that attending the body attending the breath attending to the

[35:14]

a rising experience of now reminds us, reintroduces us to the heart of being. And sometimes sitting there, the sound of the blue jay is as much me as a sensation in my knee. They're all one body of being. They're all rising and expressing the heart of being. the learning that comes from experiencing directly.

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As we experience directly, we see existence for what it is. When we see that tendency of thought or feeling that reaches out finds the object, has a response to its definition, it's just created. How many hundreds of thousands of times have we done that? But in this seeing, experiencing, we learn. Miriam Oliver puts this learning this remembering like this even now I remember something the way a flower in a jar of water remembers its life in the perfect garden something in the moment of

[37:54]

presence and I think we've all had them whether we noticed or not in a moment of presence it has its own completeness before we get busy conjuring up creatively conjuring up a notion how it could be different or better or how it's going to fade and not last Before that, just there, just itself. It can be as simple as the way the light shines in the window on the floor. It can be as subtle as when there's just an awareness of mind in a moment.

[38:55]

amazing it is to be a human being the way a flower in a jar of water remembers its life in the perfect garden the way a flower in a jar of water remembers its life as a closed seat the way a flower in a jar of water steadies itself remembers itself remembering itself long ago the plunging roots the gravel the rain, the glossy stem, the wings of the leaves, the swords of the leaves, rising and clashing for the rose of the sun, the salt of the stars, the crown of the wind, the beds of the clouds, the blue dream, the unbreakable circle. And in the perfection of its suchness, it being completely itselfness, the agitations, the distresses, the fears, the resentments, the dissatisfactions.

[40:39]

rebutes of existence. Just to glimpse this. Apparently, even in the golden age of Zen, somebody has to go and cook lunch. Thank you for that. that determined diligence at the heart of our practice.

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Sit here now. How paradoxical that that's the gate of liberation. To me, it's as paradoxical that we would revere the great Shakyamuni and also decide to ignore his admonitions. But we are human. This is what we do. Can we sit here now diligently, but as simply as a flower in a vase of water, as simply as just being available for the next inhale?

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Noticing how awareness flickers. Noticing that a period of Zaza can have a certain, almost like density to it. Sometimes it feels lighter than air. Sometimes heavier than stone. The workings of the heart of consciousness, the heart of being, are not decipherable by citta, by our conscious discerning mind. They operate, they function in their own mode of being.

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But in giving over, Something is learned. Something is remembered. We give over to the experience. And somehow it facilitates and expresses awakening. We don't figure it out. We give over to it. We give over to the breath. the body, the sign, the smell, the taste, the touch of the moment. We can work with our attitude. We can work with our diligence. But we give over.

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Thank you. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

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