This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I think the next part of the ceremony this morning involves me opening my mouth and saying some things. So... Here we go. And often, I think it's appropriate to say good morning. And it's easy. to say thank you very much for coming here this morning.

[01:03]

It's wonderful to have so much breath that it feels stuffy to see you all who have come either as residents here for a while, putting aside so many things that you could be caring for in order to care for something. and all of those who took the long, treacherous trip on Highway 1 to get here, and also everybody online who's here instead of somewhere else. Imagine that, of all the internet content that a person could be enjoying at this moment. Many people right now are with us. A very strange.

[02:06]

And I have this question this morning, and unfortunately, it's kind of going in a little deeper than I had hoped. My question is, why are we doing this? Why did I come here? Why did you come here this morning? Of all the things you could have done. This turns out to be a very important classic question in the Zen tradition. Sometimes it has a little edge to it. Why did you come? little bit of a challenge, then you find that part of yourself that we might say longs for the way, longs to be connected with your life.

[03:18]

Can you let that part speak? Say it. Why? Why are you here? So that's a kind of approach in Zen that's sometimes offered as we ask this very natural question of why, why are we here? I don't mean it in an aggressive way or in a rude way or in any way doubting that it has great value. It's just, can we remember for a second what that great value is? Why did you come here this morning? I think really when we ask this question in Zen, the idea is not to get some particular answer, like there's the right answer here,

[04:44]

And I'm checking you'll be graded on your reply. But can we call forth and talk to that heart in ourself that is longing for some deeper, fuller, more connected way of being alive? You might notice as you let in the question, why am I here?

[05:48]

Well, you might say, I'm on my way to the beach, and I thought it would be rude to park right under the no beach parking sign if I didn't, you know, stop a bit at the Dharma talk. If so, how very kind. You didn't know that you didn't have to be diligent. We have yet to issue a single parking ticket. Though I did when I was in maintenance, get very close to printing some. Couldn't quite find what the language would be. Why are you here? And if it's, you know, to get to the beach, that's welcome. That's totally included. In other words, I want my life to be a little bit better. I just want to have a good day. So please. Keep on walking straight down to the beach. Something in us stops for a moment.

[06:52]

Something in us responds to this invitation to be still and silent. To hear sounds and see light in some kind of fresh way. Something maybe calls about being shoulder to shoulder with others who aren't quite sure why they're turning right now to this practice or this teaching. So we say in this tradition that there's some part in every being, and in each of us, there's some part that is longing for the way, that is longing to live fully and in connection, in deep, authentic relationship with themselves and with everything.

[08:02]

And that little part of ourselves is... So easily neglected. It doesn't really stand a chance, you know, in our everyday life. But coming here and asking, why am I here? Maybe you hear it stir a little bit. Maybe it doesn't even have words yet, but it says, I know. And then we listen. And we give it, you know, today we gave it some power in our life. is amazing. So this process, as we sit or as we come into contact with some teaching, to first find the part that is interested in the teaching, find the part that's calling us to the teaching and see if we can bring it forth and recognize it.

[09:10]

Let it know that it's welcome to fill us and to take over our life. So we call this connecting with our intention or clarifying our intention or bringing forth the vow. Thank you for asking that, hearing that question. It's on my mind this morning because I've been noticing that being alive is often rather difficult. To really connect with my life as fully as I'd like is not always so easy. In other words, I'm aware of a kind of disconnect.

[10:14]

a kind of dissatisfaction, which is the reason that I'm practicing. This is a traditional reason to practice. We practice because we've become aware of some suffering or some dissatisfaction or just some disconnect. That word is alive for me this morning. I'll take a stab at describing this disconnect. As though you don't know it. You know, especially for those of us, and you must be such a person to be here today, those of us who occasionally hang around with spiritual people,

[11:19]

have this idea and hear it said again and again and maybe really have felt deeply and know in some way that the only thing that makes sense in this strange life is to love everything and just bow in gratitude. Is there any other thing that I can think of that is appropriate to meet this situation of being alive? We know this on some level, I think. To just love everything and to just bow moment after moment in gratitude that there is anything. And yet, all day long, mostly, we feel other things than that.

[12:29]

We say, well, I know that really the only thing to do is to love everything. And I know that the basic truth of my life is gratitude. And yet, I can't quite find it. I can't quite feel it as completely as I'd like. Does this sound familiar? So we have this longing to fulfill that faith or knowledge. And that longing drags us out of bed and drags us to Dharma talks and drags us to meditation. And we let it, which is wonderful. So how will we reconnect with what we know is the most important thing in our life?

[13:41]

That's what Zen meditation is about. That's what Zen practice. That's what this whole tradition is about. It's not about telling you something that's important that you don't already know is important. It's about giving you a path to fully embody, fully become. the thing that you know is most important, whatever words you might use for that. And if you don't have any words yet, it's just a feeling, hmm, I think there's something more important than this running around. So a couple of days ago, I came across this passage that I wanted to share this morning. from the Ehei Koroku, the record of Dogenzenji, our 13th century Soto Zen founder in Japan. So here's the beginning of his expression.

[14:45]

All people are fully satisfied, each and every one with wholeness fulfilled. might laugh at that line because it's completely laughable. All people are fully satisfied, each and every one with wholeness fulfilled. Why then are the weeds seven feet deep throughout the Dharma hall? Do you want to understand this situation? All people are fully satisfied, each and every one with wholeness fulfilled. It's gleefully contrary.

[16:00]

You get the feeling that Dogen is trolling us here because we know at least one person who proves this statement wrong. We're very intimate with this dissatisfied person. And even if somehow he's right about everybody else, everybody else got the memo about how to be fully satisfied and feel completely whole in every moment. We know all too well that one person has not gotten the memo. and is not. So he's poking at this, and we, you know, in the same moment, I think, notice that that's an absurd thing to say, and that it's true. The little part, I think, that said, I'm the one, I'm the reason you came to Gringold. That's the part that knows this is true. All people are fully satisfied, each and every one wholeness fulfilled.

[17:05]

So the translators of this text are good friends, Taigen, Layton, and Shohaku Okamura. I just imagine them sitting around translating this line and they couldn't bear to translate it. They couldn't bear to say such and such a thing as all people are fully satisfied. Maybe they wanted to be taken seriously. So they wrote, you know, they threw us a kind of lifeline. They want to support us to ease into this teaching and practice. So they said, fundamentally, which of course Dogen could have said, he could have said fundamentally, fundamentally, we are satisfied and whole. What do you think? Does that make it a little bit easier to swallow a little candy coating? Fundamentally, are you satisfied?

[18:11]

Fundamentally, are you whole? Fundamentally, am I satisfied and whole? So we might say, yeah, fundamentally, at the ground of my being, in the fact of my life itself, there is fullness and satisfaction. I hope you can say that. And if you can't, he's about to tell us, how to find it. So we know that we are fulfilled and satisfied and whole, but it feels like the weeds seven feet deep throughout the Dharma hall.

[19:16]

So he's asking, why are the weeds seven feet deep throughout the Dharma hall? When we know that We're already satisfied and whole. You know about seven-foot weeds in your house and your car and your workplace? This walking a little bit mired. walking in mud, though fundamentally we are satisfied and whole in our being. So do you want to understand this situation, this disconnect? And then Dogen pauses. So let the question register.

[20:34]

Would you like to understand the situation of why it feels like walking through mud when actually what you are is wholeness and satisfaction? You want to understand the situation. And he says. Flowers fall in our attachments. Weeds grow in our aversion. Flowers fall in our grasping at them. And weeds grow in our pushing them away. So he's saying this is the reason. for the disconnect that we may feel in our life. You might feel like you're walking in seven-foot weeds, walking in mud, and you might wonder, why is it like this?

[21:49]

And now you know, because of grasping and pushing away. Grasping is reaching for something that's not here, and pushing away is pushing away something that is here. And we're doing that, and the weeds are growing taller and taller, loving all that wonderful fertilizer we're pouring on them. This is not a new teaching, of course. This is a reminder about what our Zen practice is. Our Zen practice is about a posture of not grasping at anything and not pushing anything away. When we're trying to hold on to something, trying to get something, we're missing what's right here, which is actually the only place of our wholeness and satisfaction.

[23:11]

And when we're pushing something away, we're pushing away our chance at the wholeness and satisfaction That's only available when we're right here in our life just as it is. You understand the situation? So it's funny because when I feel a little bit disconnected, For example, when I don't feel completely satisfied and whole, and I notice that, I want to reach for that. I want to reach for satisfaction and wholeness again. Has that ever happened to you? Give me that back. Give me that back. Where did that go? Where did that go?

[24:16]

And I try to... It's not here, because here is just weed seven foot deep. Where did that go? So I'm trying to grasp at the satisfaction and the wholeness. And I'm getting deeper and deeper into the thicket. Or I'm aware of the dis-ease or discomfort or off-ness in my life. And I want to get away from that, get out of that. But that's the posture, that's the movement that's causing the problem. in this teaching. Sometimes this is, you know, really easy to spot. Like we're running away, literally. Or leaning way over to grab at something.

[25:21]

But, you know, as meditators, Practitioners of Zazen were also really interested in and becoming more and more sensitive to this very subtle grabbing on and pushing away. Like right now, I'm sure you're reaching for something. When we're dissatisfied, we reach for something. And what's so radical and wonderful about the Buddha's teaching is the problem isn't the dissatisfaction. The problem is that you're reaching for something to try to free yourself from it. And that's the thing from the last moment. It's caused your dissatisfaction now. So just stop and be with your dissatisfaction exactly as it is.

[26:29]

Not trying to get back satisfaction. and not trying to get away from the dissatisfaction. And right there, wholeness, fulfillment, satisfaction is present. Even if it doesn't feel quite like you thought it would feel. It's in the background. It's on the ground of the experience. To actually appreciate being right here, which is where our life is. Does what I'm saying make sense to you? That's good. Do you understand that it's about your actual life?

[27:32]

There's something about this moment, you know, the actual ungraspable, inconceivable, bright, present moment that's really easy to miss. So Dogen says, all people are fully satisfied, each and every one with wholeness fulfilled. So why are the weeds seven feet deep throughout the Dharma hall? Do you want to understand this situation? Flowers fall in our attachment and weeds grow in our aversion. So here at Green Gulch, as many of you know, because you're weeding your way through it, We're in a practice period focusing on Zazen and ceremonies and teaching of the Dharma.

[28:48]

And the practice period here is led by Kokyo, old friend and elder brother in the Dharma. Kokyo here, you know, you may think you know Kokyo. I've met people who think they know Kokyo, but there's lots of layers to this fellow. And one layer that you might not know about is that he is a master marketer. We asked, hey, Kokyo, what should we call this practice period? And after some back and forth, he said, let's call it... The great way is not difficult. And we got more sign-ups than ever for a spring practice period. You know, weeds are seven feet deep in my car, in my house, in my workplace, in the Dharma hall.

[29:57]

Everything is difficult. I want to do something that's not difficult. And I want something great. And now, for, you know, pennies, I can have something great and not difficult. And then everyone arrived. And then we had the problem. because the first thing that you do when you arrive to Green Goats for practice period is you sit in this room without moving for a day. So, the great way is not difficult. Of course, this comes from a famous line in Zen that is translated in various ways, but I would say for this morning, the great way is not difficult.

[31:02]

Just avoid picking and choosing. The great way is not difficult. Just avoid picking and choosing. So Kokyo has been talking about this line and I thought I would chime in here, dip into the practice period for a moment with my two cents and then skedaddle. So the great way is not difficult. Just avoid picking and choosing is what Dogen is teaching. When he says, you are fully satisfied and whole. But flowers fall when you grasp. And weeds grow when you push away. So there's nothing difficult that we need to do to be satisfied and whole. Because that's what is present in this actual moment of our life. That's just given. That's not something you're going to do.

[32:04]

It's the opposite of that. It's the easiest thing possible because it's the thing that you haven't made, which is why it's so satisfying. And whole, it's just the fact of your life. Inconceivable, vast, bright, ungraspable. It's just what's right here. And there's a constant, subtle pull. Away from that. Towards something that we could get. More of a handle on. The only thing we need to do. Is notice. And step back from. That trying to get. And trying to get away. That I want this. I don't want that. Just step. Just half a step back from that. And we're standing. In our satisfaction and wholeness. And allowing our life to unfold in all of its weeds, in all of its grasping and pushing away.

[33:06]

That little half step back, that little piece of ground makes all the difference. I promise you. So this reminds me, this teaching of don't pick and choose and everything will be just fine. Reminds me of this line from Suzuki Roshi. Or actually, you know, a word, a way that Suzuki Roshi often talks about the Dharma. In one place he says, Zen may be said to be the practice of complete acceptance. The cultivation of our mind to make it deep and open enough to accept things as they are. That's another way to say, you know, when we're not trying to get something or trying to get away from something, we're just accepting things how they are right now.

[34:09]

So we could read this old Zen line as just saying, the great way is not difficult, just accept what is right here. That is not quite right. Well, again and again, Suzuki Roshi talks about acceptance, and the people in the assembly, again, as I keep marveling, let him get away with it. He's saying, accept, and people lap it up. And I say, accept, I've noticed in my life of teaching, I say, accept things as they are, and all the hands go up. People walk out. And I feel sort of gross. I don't know about accept.

[35:15]

Accept. So I've been wrestling with this word for a long time. And I hereby renounce the word accept. May it never cross my tongue again, which is going to make it difficult to finish this talk. Accept is dangerously close to its near enemy. You know, we have these near enemies. Any virtue, any practice has dangers and pitfalls. And there's one pitfall of any virtue that's the one that lives closest to it and likes to kind of put on its suit and go out pretending to be it. And that's the near enemy. And the near enemy of acceptance is so obvious, a kind of passive, stuck, complacent, deadness of heart and mind. Accept.

[36:20]

Why? Why would you accept? That's because I want to live my life fully and be whole and satisfied. So I accept. I don't pick and choose. It's all okay. Whatever. So this is the near enemy of this alive, dynamic, vibrant teaching of wholeness and fulfillment through stillness and brightness and open heart, receiving each moment exactly as it is without bickering about it. Thank you, universe, for providing this moment. Could it please have a little less of this and a little more of that? And then wondering why we're stuck in weeds. So we have a better word, which I'd like to use more.

[37:28]

Suzuki Roshi uses it a few times, but he really likes accept. And I think his presence was so transformative and loving to people that nobody was confused at all. So he could just say it and nobody got confused about what that meant. But nowadays, we thankfully have more doubt about the teaching. So we have this wonderful word that is to welcome. To welcome. So how about the great way is not difficult. Just welcome. What is actually right here? How about the weeds are seven feet deep throughout the Dharma hall. Just welcome those towering weeds. Just welcome every blossom.

[38:31]

I don't think we lose anything. When we say welcome, welcome has no picking and choosing in it, at least in its bigger sense. You know, someone comes, we say welcome. We don't mean how come it's you and not somebody I like more. We just say welcome or welcome. I'm so glad it's you and not the person that I didn't want. Welcome. And it doesn't mean welcome. Now I'm going to let you go. I've got you. It just means welcome. In other words, to greet someone arriving in a glad, polite, or friendly way. Something is arriving every moment. We could welcome it. How would that be? Instead of...

[39:40]

judging and adjusting, reaching and pushing away, we could welcome it. A kind of warm-hearted, enthusiastic embrace of what's right here. The great thing about welcoming is that it's warm-hearted and it's also not stuck. You know, welcome is like the start of something. Welcome is the start of a relationship. It's the start of an engagement. It's not like the only thing we do. It's not the last thing we do. We welcome something and then we are engaged with it and move with it. It has its life and we're related. There's a natural activity that flows from welcome. We say, welcome, how may I help you?

[40:47]

For example, you know, if you go to the Green Gulch office or call up the Green Gulch office, I think today after the talk, if you walk into the Green Gulch office, the Zen student supporting the office today will not probably say, I accept that you have arrived. at the Green Gulch office. And then you might say, I would like to sign up for a retreat. And they do not say, I accept that you would like to sign up for a retreat. But when we think about the practice of accepting, we're kind of thinking of it like that. Just accept. And then stop. As opposed to welcome.

[41:48]

How may I help you? Welcome. Let's relate. Welcome means really let this moment in and see what unfolds naturally from that meeting. There's light. There is sound. Welcome and responsive life. So if you should ever feel disconnected and have the grace, the good fortune, the good past roots of practice to notice that you feel a little bit disconnected, rather than trying to claw your way back to connection, rather than trying to claw your way back to wholeness, how about try this practice of welcome,

[43:07]

Welcome disconnection. Welcome weeds. Welcome mud. And the welcoming starts to come to life. And we welcome sound. And we welcome light. And we welcome sensation. We welcome wonder. We welcome joy. And we welcome weeds. and sorrow, and alienation. Every single thing, welcome. This is our capacity. This is our Buddha capacity to welcome, actually, every single thing that could ever possibly happen, we can welcome. This is the fearlessness of our practice. And we express it just by this moment, welcoming, that we're trying to get something and push something away.

[44:12]

Right there, at least starting there, welcoming, moving closer into the moment as it is. So the way truly is not difficult. And truly, you are fundamentally satisfied and whole. So just welcome this present moment as it is. Thank you so much for welcoming me for your compassionate attention today. hope that some words were able to touch this way-seeking mind, this part of your own heart that is the reason you're here.

[45:23]

And that you heard in some way that the way to take care of that, not to run after it, but to welcome what is in your actual life moment after moment. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[46:11]

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