Way of Tea

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eight seven
hi
huh
hi and i'm thinking about this talk
we're giving a mother's day talk today

which is kind of good because i won't be grandmother's mother's day

and also you know i'm i'm not sort of hogging mother's day by giving it today
i have this this is the in a what i'd like to start with the division it's not may sound like i'm saying things are this way
and i do think that things are this way but it's just the way i see things as division so you don't have to see it this way
on the way i see it is that
we are each one of us is being held
completely held and supported
by the entire universe
and also
each one of us holes
the entire universe
and i have a vision that each one of us wants to be held by the whole universe
when i'm asked me to want it but wants to run
monster experienced better realized that understand that
i actually myself i guess i don't honestly speaking i don't want reality to be
the reality that it is
i'm not him the want but i do want to realize reality i do want that i wanted to be realized
because they've been switched to a different reality i would go with it
i mean that would be my policy anyway
i might have a transition problem but

what my my bar would be you can get a different reality i would
i would try to join it
so the right i think the reality is that were being supported by everything
we're being held by everything and that we hold everything in support everything but i also part of that reality
within that reality of what we are that of the of the being that we have that that i am or that we are that is being held many of us most of us some of us are ignorant of being held
we ignore the reality of are being held and we will read and ignore the reality of holding everything
that's not a part of my vision
so it's kind of a division that had the kind of a joke in it
but it's a painful if this pain in a job because when we ignored how are being held
and we ignore how we're holding we feel anxious and and week a miserable
that's part of division
when we ignore the area that reality which i just happened to think is the reality that we feel uncomfortable

and then in our discomfort
we sometimes then also tried to ignore that are hard we try to ignore the discomfort
or to disperse to discomfort or to avoid the discomfort which arises from
ignoring
what is our happiness
and then we do various things to distract ourselves
from the discomfort or to try to make the comfort goat discomfort go away
and these things which we do to distract ourselves from the discomfort postpone
our real work
and real work is that if we are ignorant of this reality and uncomfortable because of that ignorance are real work is first of all to feel
the consequences of our ignorance to feel that the discomfort
to grieve
the reality which we've lost
and to
by feeling the consequences of our ignorance and grieving
this last reality
by opening up to that we open our eyes to reality
we see what we've been ignoring
and we realized
that we are
held by everything and holding everything
that's a short description of returning to reality
and the and becoming free of the misery which comes from turning away from reality
that's my basic proposal for the my basic kind of vision for today's talk said clear of
no i will get them
it as an expression which is
it said
birth life is a manifestation of the whole works
death is the manifestation of the whole works
homeworks means
the whole universe but also it's a manifestation of how the universe works our life is a manifestation of how to is a manifestation of hollow whole universe works
and it is a manifestation of the whole universe
also our death is a manifestation of the whole works
and here's how the universe works
the way the universe works is that produces our individual life
and produces their individual death

that's the way of zen master put this thing i'm just saying about being supported or being held and holding
one of the
in sometimes the simplest examples of being held
that we have in our life and holding his when we live in a womb
when we were in our mother's womb
at that time
we were being held
by the whole universe
we didn't think about it i guess too much but we were being held
and all of arm all of the wombs which held us were successful because here we are
they held us they supported our life those wounds
but also we held the womb because the baby makes the womb do its thing the womb doesn't get big the placenta doesn't form it does not a baby there maybe there's some strange examples of where that percent of forms new no baby that we have but
where there's a kind of like phantom baby it makes the wound for the the percent to form and mother thinks she's pregnant or something but basically in his normal lives the baby makes the mother to her thing and the mother makes the baby do it that the them they're holding each other
but behind the mother is the whole universe and the history of our race in the history of life on the planet makes it possible for this womb to support this baby
st have made the mothers be able to do this so as you know
it's a pretty good deal
and if this holding works
then the life goes on and if the holding doesn't work
then there's a different kind of holding beholding of death
and the baby dies
but that's also supported by
by the woman
and also supports the womb
anyway we're not dead so i didn't happen for us we got this life thing
as soon we'll have the death thing
right now and got the life thing and right now we're being supported actually we're in a warm right now
but when we came out of that
literal womb we gradually started to lose
our sense or not we started to feel like we weren't supported so that now a lot of us feel unsupported
and between now and back then we've gone through various phases of grieving
that connection that think that feeling held
and i think it's healthy and normal and fine to want to want to feel again or understand again that we are being held
wanting to be held is a perfectly healthy
feeling
because it actually is wanting to realize reality
it's i to want to feel held again and it's also find to want to hold
because that's reality to
where there's a little there's an issue here and that is what
in the way to what is the way to understand and realize in the fact that we are being held and what is the way to try to get that
which actually
ah further ignores that we are being held
okay so what is the way to understand that we are being held
and how to watch out for another way which we which we have a tendency towards which is to do things we were trying to get back that sense of being held but those ways distract us from the real work of understanding that we are already they help
so simply put and i'm going up this might not wind up simply about time to go up my mouth but anyway trying to say it's simply
what we often do as we we approach various we we we we act in various ways
to try i think which you know basically we're trying to re establish for realize this this being held
the joy of of realizing be held in the joy of realizing holding we want that and that's healthy but the way we reach for it is that we try to get something which will outside of ourselves which will make that happen
but that flies in the face of the reality that already so
we try to have relationships which will make that so
but and that's okay except that if we rate it would make it outside of ourselves
to make it so
ah
there's a kind of short term way that we try to make that happen that distracts us from the place where it really is happening
this is already not so simple so in other words
there's some people we can meet or animals or plants or chemicals or physical objects
that make us feel for a moment not exactly but something like were being held again
like if we have someone would hold us they just go to someone as they hold me put your arms around me
i didn't seem so bad or let me put my arms around you that doesn't seem so bad and it's not
but if
if that being held distracts this
from facing
the anxiety which comes from
not understanding that were held before this person puts her arms around this
then i would say it is simply that a distraction
and as and it feels good to be distracted from that pain
it's a nice break in the pain of not feeling supported and held
such a relationship
in modern bay area lingo
he called codependent
other they you get somebody else to cooperate in you're avoiding facing your work
your work of facing the pain of ignorance
a relationship that postpones you're grieving
maybe just for a moment but navy
for years and years if you're lucky if you're lucky at the program of getting that person to help you avoid your breathing
huh
so
someone said to me well what kind of relationship
would be good
i mean you shouldn't have any relationships no actually ah
relationships are what this is all about but what kind of relationships actually address what this is all about well i would say relationships that support you
engraving
your loss
of the understanding that you're already supported
relationships not where somebody's going to like this they stick your nose into your grief but someone will cool be with you while you're grieving rather than saying oh no you haven't lost anything i'm here i'm supporting you i've got my arms around you you haven't loss
anything that's not true
see
if they don't say it you think they do that for you and they go along with it
they don't say to you what are you using me for

who are you seeing in my face
do you think i'm your mother
do you think i'm the whole universe embracing your right now
is that what you're using me for
am i a short cook in your meditation practice

could this guy actually suggesting that use that this is the kind of person you would have a relationship with
yes i am

this is a friend this is a lover that hold your hands while you walk into reality
and it's the reality that you want that you're yearning for this is a friend who won't distract you from going where you really want to go and they won't say hey you don't have to go there i'm it
i'm what you're looking for i'm what holds you
the oh good
this person can be really close to you and really intimate with you without distracting and it's possible
and you can be close to them and intimate with them without distracting them
both of you encouraging each other
to grieve
that the feeling of
being out of touch with being held
so if someone told me you know that he was you now he wanted to be held
and i guess i'm not sure but i guess
maybe he wanted me to hold them
and the reason why i guess that maybe he wanted me to hold them well because i felt like holding him
even though he's a big man i thought let's take c'mon or sit on my lap i'll hold you
i didn't say it though because
i don't think that really what he wants i think part of the wants me to hold them
but i think he wants actually to be held in a bigger way than mind alarms
so but i think i could feel i guess because i felt that maybe he was feeling that that he wanted me to hold them and i felt like i wanted to hold them not wanted to but some sort of want to incorporate that might be good anyway i did feel that that i wanted to just say okay coming year old you you
be held right now
i didn't say that go
when i encouraged them to do was
he'll
the pain
of the longing
to be held
that was the way i held him to support him to say i'll help you i want to help you faced the pain to do the grieving of this
of this loss
to do the yearning of wanting the whole universe to love you
but
that hurts and to feel that pain and to grieve that loss if you can feel that fully
you can open to that fully you can also start facing
the world of the true self
the world of your actual life your actual life which is being held
huh
feeling the pain of our ignorance
opening to the pain of our ignorance
also opens our eyes to the truth
huh

huh
feeling the pain
and grief that goes with our delusion
opens us to see the self
the real self which is
held by the whole universe and which holds the real universe the whole universe
our inability to feel the pain of the loss of this held self
goes with our inability to face the intense light
of the hell self the vision of the health sell
the inability to feel the pain of turning away from the held sell to the self that's trying to get help being held now that it's not held that pain facing that pain
is pretty much the same thing as being able to face the self which is being held which is not
the self which were used to
even on the self we want it's hard to get used to it is such a shock
part of the reason is that the way we're being supported is like this
the way were supported is that enough support doesn't always come
in the ways which we would imagine support coming
support comes in the way that we're living moment by moment that's the way it comes that's some other way
support come by the person saying to you rather than hey you're being held i'm holding you
but maybe the whole universe for you the person doesn't talk you like that the person says
he's other kinds of things what are you doing
when you're using me for
are you doing your work
so in my life many people that you know help me that way
sounds like they're criticizing they sometimes are unhappy with me
think i am i don't know what we're
but that's the way they're supporting me at that moment
sometimes is
relatively easy for me to get the joke sometimes i have a hard time remembering that i'm being supported by this
which means what i'm saying earlier that i'm now in the transition from what i was able to see as reality to this new reality
this new way i'm being supported
this new form
huh
first this and i'm just what i'm about to say well i'm sorry it's not like bragging but anyway i chose my way
if not because she made me feel like com
she was in a holding me
i shoulder i chose her i think of actually i didn't even chooser
she got chosen for me
by the whole universe
hey i was a good choice but the universe made
when i could sort of i try to get some credit for it but really that's not my vision of it i had a division one time that these two huge wheels
move together
and the cogs of is to will join started turning together
and there was hurt or there was her and these two wheels came together
we both look at each other quite frequently and say so weird
here's this this guy from minnesota married to this lady from shanghai it's so strange i'm married to a chinese person
and she and she says that she's been living in a foreign country for like all these years
being with me it just really foreign

and some this morning she she recounted
like guy bought for the twenty about twenty four years ago
when her parents i came to meet the future son-in-law here at green gulch
it was you know
i think december
you know it's cold and rainy here
they came in the evening in the cold in the ran the dark
and
so they came to meet their son-in-law and then and the place they met me was in my room over in the main house there were the kitchen is
grass and stuff but he wasn't he wasn't up to drinking any water and grass
but anyway it was it was you know it was in a place that was warm and quiet and
and such best i could do for it i felt
and the just it is within my house until it died
and dares bigger so it's harder to move a daring to your house but you can do the same for the dear
so that's unless they have the best way but that's one way that you could you could look down on will die quietly
rather than being attacked in the last moment of his life by predators
and in this case i guess my intention was not to harm the deer but to help the deer that with my intention but i was wrong
so i think i learned by my mistake and i feel good that i learned by that mistake and i won't do that anymore
so i'm sorry i did it but i'm just not the same as i'm sorry that i wanted to hurt the dear
could i didn't want to hurt the there but i'm sorry that in fact i was miss
i was miss
misunderstanding the reality of was helpful to that animal i think i don't think i was
the most skillful way to relate to this
injured animal
hmm
yeah i think i think go now i think not meddling kids a better way so i don't think it's i started meddling to
put up a fence around an animal or pick it up and move it someplace now that i'm not going off color doesn't meddling
if the animal seem like a didn't want to be moved which a deer might in the process of moving the deer the deer might becomes frightened and that might make me feel like go move it
so then i might have to do something
like protect a deer where it was
so i guess i would be sensitive to to feedback from the deer about whether i was interfering or whether i was protecting
sometimes you may feel like you're protecting and animals or humans maybe give you feedback that they don't like it like going on children sometimes you taking off a bandage
off their arm you know if you take out you know
they may not want you to take a bandage off because it hurts but you may have to take it off and so that's why they
usually take off a bandage fast rather and slowly
this topic is better than a
and sometimes other panama don't want off don't want to take medicine but you feel like
you wanna given a medicine
but you're not exactly you don't have to think of that you're meddling with the animal you're just doing you're just doing something yourself you're giving animals something
are you help you trying to help the animal but you're not trying to meddle with the way they are you're happy with the way they are you accept them forever they are and you're trying to end you're just making your gesture towards them
but in the case of the dear
i didn't feel like
i didn't think there with a wild animal you can set the bone and you know out i don't think that's going to work out necessarily
the monks and some cases you can take wild animals do they have this what's called wild
things got a wild animal or something like that they had it does this thing and marine where you can take in your wild animals and they will actually have some skills to to take care of some of them and and when they get better they release them again
i'm not the take dear though
and i'm not to get move the deer with us dear getting more hurt
because she could like anaesthetised the deer and then move it
but it's not clear that's the way to go to me
okay
the second part of good
we we do
when you've done
i feel
how i feel
i felt i felt bad about what i did but i also felt good that i learned
i learned something about about it so i also felt good about what i learned
i felt like i made a mistake not that i did something intentionally
i'm cruel even not participated in i was there was something cruel happened i did that was my intention or the other person's intention but i think it in fact that turned out to be cruel
so
do i regret it i regretted it but that's about
it's about how i felt i regretted it was horrible
and
so i tell people the horrible story and they can reflect on what they're going to do in similar situations
the bit better time doing it
as hide hide that i've played into it and that's saying that's the way that's why i did
somebody else may have a better way
yes

pardon
why do we make love personal
the why is a person make love personal
i think because there are a person
and love has made a person so love his personal and
pardon
one

andy
guess

well
i guess maybe i'm missing as a the the bite of your question because a person is a purse every person is
in the vision of of
being held each person is the realization of being held
you can't hold you know there's a certain kind of holding which is a holding of a person
gets a certain type of holding
is holding of of ah of other things too but the holding of a person is the is it comes to fruit as a person
so the love manifests as a person but you know don't have to your they called and love personal but their the fruit of the love is a person
so what's your so what your question
why do we cling to the love
i think we cling to the love because we ignore the love
when you ignore love and you cling to it
because when you ignore love you don't see how is coming
so you're sense your sense of how is coming is a partial version of how is coming
and and that's in that partial version of how it's coming
the partial version of how love comes to you is that it comes in indiscreet limited ways i take away discreet but i think it comes in unlimited discrete ways
but when you have a limited view of how love comes and you think now it's here and not not
so in that limited view when you see how when you see it coming you want to grab it because you want it
our span or we don't understand how love is actually coming that when we get an inkling of it we grab that inkling
but that's not how it's really coming anyway
and that and the another reason why we grabbed the inkling of love is because weren't so much pain about not seeing how it's coming
that when we get it when we get a glimmering of it or the glimmering of and we want to get it
then we go to be grab but that grabbing his again is antithetical to realizing it
because the grabbing is based on ignoring it
so when you ignore love you grab it
when you face love you don't grab it
when you actually see how loves actually operating you've see you can't grab it you just put your hands together and say thank you
and you realize his hands can never get a hold of it
okay so grasping comes with ignorance but seeing the reality of love you don't grasp you could you see you can't because you see you are it you you are the results of love your not something that gets the a grasped well yes

examples of grieving
well grieving basically what i mean by grieving as the is the feeling
like i i often called grieving and sadness kind of same thing and i lately i've been speaking of grieving is like engine oil
like engine oil oil that you put in the engine which lubricates the moving parts
and the engine i guess the engine is is his love
for it's the hits the pits the body of love but when you when you lose something
when something changes and you lose something the engine the engine tennis just stop and get stuck
if you or i should say if you lose something and you hold onto it you don't just let it go so the way love is manifesting is that things are coming and going all the time were receiving things and giving things away all the time
okay that's the way it's actually happening work the were being manifested as this
we're being supported and loved into this and in the log supports us to change and go into that and again so were appearing and disappearing and this is like the working of love our life appearing and disappearing as the working of love or it's the working of the whole universe okay
in that process as this has its present manifestation of love goes away if we hold onto it and say no no
the engine stopped it freezes
the product looked up from the process of love is blocked by attaching to something that's actually gone
okay this is not the system doesn't like this the system want to keep moving in this is stuck because somebody holding onto something that's gone
so grief comes in a and if you start getting the grief
you feel aggrieved you let go
the greek starts is like w d forty
is sprayed into the place where you're holding and start and end and that you're holding onto things which are already gone and then and then they are being pulled out your hands and started i started moving again then you're fresh
or another image i sometimes have is like grieving is like in a bamboo in the snow
when the snow falls and the bamboo sometimes it's snow sticks
if the snow sticks
the bamboo bins
the more snow gums and more snow sticks as bamboo bends more
and so on
the more until finally
the snow have pushed a bamboo way down in the snow falls off the bamboo
and in the band was springs back light and fresh again so the the the cleaning of the snow to the bamboo is like our attachment to things
but the bending down is like the grieving
and when you bend all the way down you let go of the stuff you were holding onto and then you're fresh again so grieving and sadness in that way our processes which get you get you know which relieve you of of holding onto things which have already changed which we tend to do
because of ignorance we hold on to what's already gone
this is not good for us
the holding onto not good
so a healthy system sets of grieving
so most people because there's some attachment to the passing of their life
there's always a for most people there's always a little attachment to the passing of their life
a little at least in some people are really into holding on to the passing of their life
as you get older you know you with there's all these previous selves his younger selves some of which you willing to let go of others that wish you don't want like of
i'll see your children you lose all your children that you know all these past children you get lose
and you get another to get new children but you're holding on the old children's you can see the new children you only holding losing year old younger bodies you can't appreciate your older bodies
right this is normal to hold on
so therefore grieving is kind of normal ongoing process
you only would stop grieving when you finish grieving for all the things you've held on until past and when you stop clinging to the present things going away then you wouldn't have an engraving so if you're completely enlightened and also had done all your grieving and you wouldn't have to i'm doing if you're grieving after that most people are holding our little bit so the grieving is ongoing
thing but like i say it's like lubricant keeps you keeps you keeps you moving but she fled you go with the changes
that make any sense

is
it is out of she says is it like out of the sun is engraving you're looking for a way out such you're saying
yeah it could be like that but
it's engraving works better if you're not like grieving to get out of something but just grieving degree that's best way to grieve
but you can also it's okay to agree with the sense that this is a healthy thing grieving is healthy
the attachment which grieving briefings medicine for attachment the attachments not so healthy but normal common but the grieving is healthy grieving of medicine
so i think it's better just to grieve without trying to get something out of the grieving because if you trying to get something out of the grieving you're not really wholeheartedly grieving
another way to put this is that if you're holding onto something or if you like something
and you're attached to it at all it hurts a little bit when it goes away
so eat so we sometimes we lose something that we can't feel that we can't stand to feel the pain at the time
we turn away from the pain of losing something right at the time it's another way to look at it
and things we lose unconsciously and were holding onto unconsciously so we can't even know what we're holding onto
so it's kind of like grieving and sadness or like a substitute suffering for the suffering we weren't willing to feel
it's like maybe your it's like maybe you're holding on up here in your shoulder you're helping your shoulder your neck you're holding on ebay
because of some tension in your hand
and if you let go up here maybe let go down here are collect go down here you that go up here something like that so grieving refers to the place where you weren't willing to feel it and let's go there something like that because there are various ways to talk about this process

yes
i haven't followed and my or drink
that really is
go

ah
it is an extension of holding on
it's an extension of holding on in a way yeah but it's an expansion you can relate to because you may not know where you're holding on
expansion or this
referral of the of the place you're holding on to form of grief and if you can feel the grief
then the willingness to feel that
think then extends itself back to the place where you weren't willing to feel
being willing to just feel the grief there's no holding their when you just feel it if you overdo it or undergo it then you're still holding their but just degree purely
is an example of doing the very thing which degree was an extension of amidst antidote to with the grief grotto

yes
i say

i
so i am i

yeah or mom
ah
and well
hi
a lot of that didn't mean
macau
who now
so again the image of snow is falling you know snow is falling and snow falls hey no problem but of snow sticks to the bamboo
that's kind of a problem for the bamboo in a bamboo so things are falling off the time but if they stick to us as they fall they await us down
if we're willing to feel the waiting down and then and and flex with it
the stuff will fall off eventually
in various little things happened to us during the day the stick to us
they happened earlier in the day but they stick to us because we didn't really feel him at the time
so then they were so we come home sometimes from work or school or whatever and we feel kind of bogged down for some we hardly know what the reason is something happened during the day that we didn't really like fully feel we feel some some weight and myself i had this experience when i was a kid starting i think the first
time i noticed that i was about eight
i heard the ringing in my ear
and i would i would hear it when i was alone in my room
get people were talking to me or tv was on run around playing with other kids i wouldn't hear this ringing but if i just alone in my room
you know rating buddhist scriptures or whatever
i would hear the ringing i thought maybe this ringing as cut my conscious maybe i did something wrong i thought
and it wasn't it was i knew it wasn't really a real ringing is kind and not a ringing like a real sound i could tell us in my in my rent in my ear in my head
they didn't know what i was about like i said i thought maybe my conscience
and in a way now i guess you're going it was when i was about maybe i know my teens i think it was in my teens
that i haven't i heard this ringing
i remembered something that happened earlier in the day usually in the same day sometimes
ah it was early in the morning he was in he was who was the night before the day before but my experience often was that it was later in the day in the evening and i would remember so i remembered something about during the day and what it was what would the thing i would remember it would be something like
maybe i'm
some girl would would look at another boy in a more friendly away than she would look at me something not too big like that
but let's say it wasn't too big
but it bothered me a little bit are some teacher would maybe praise some other students work a little bit more than mine some of my does something pretty minor is what usually what i remember
or even something less ah less painful than that and he and as soon as i remember the thing the ringing would go away
and i what i thought was what it was as it was something that happened during the day that bothered me but wasn't bad enough for me like to stop and say hey this bothers me
you know like teenagers don't usually stop in their tracks when somebody like looks at him a little bit not friendly enough going know for somebody kind of like just makes a little slight a slightly disrespectful look you don't have you stop and say would that hurt you feel it but not completely
so that was my experiences that i would look back at a minor thing
and just seeing it and feeling a little bit of pain there the that was enough to finish the experience and the ringing would go away now a major thing like enough i got in big trouble
it's a teacher like didn't pray not the teacher praised me but that i didn't didn't do my homework at all or got into big trouble at school that i wouldn't get the ringing and the airbus because hair would know you i'd come home and i would know what it was that was bothering me
but we in a sense it was i think i was right it was my conscience in a sense of it's ringing ear means you didn't fully experienced something during the day you weren't really there for that and when when the thing came back as soon as i gave it attention as they had that bothered me
then usually it was a small thing and just noticing it was enough and that would pass it in the rain would go away and then in my life since i've gotten better at soon as the ringing cause to look back because they weren't is it pops up i look at it and it goes away
so throughout the day we we have our experiences and the experiences that we don't fully experience at the time
come back and haunt us
can they say
expect you know this year not if there's unfinished business in the day you didn't finish the business day there's a movie
which just i didn't think of that before but has called the remains of the day
the movie about a english butler anna
and a
the head head maid or something who now this this an unusual english butler and and unusually head it had made because they're both movie stars
and both academy or war movie stars but anyway now that i think of the story there remains a day to me it means is that
they didn't fully lived their life you know one at the end of the day
at the end of their life they were haunted by not fully experiencing the love that they felt for each other they really did love each other end
although the butler was a stuffy old guy he was kind of has a but he was a good butler you know and she loved him and she was a wonderful person and he loved her but then neither one of them could like
face it so in the end of the day he was a sad thing they're both haunted by what they didn't live
so this in substances is all about
fully feeling the fact that life's moving back pass very rapidly we have these little moment terry flashes of it and that's what we're here to live and if we don't fortunately our psyche says we don't please start living your life and it comes in the problem of green
chief and guilt had not being alive
and our psyches is con are going to keep haunting you until you live
enjoy yourself it's later than you'd think enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink enjoy yourself enjoy yourself it's later than you think
enjoy yourself and enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink pink as opposed to you know what
grey
and dead so with that they were good at were a good at like enjoying the moment but sometimes the moment hurts so we don't want to enjoy it or sometimes a moment and he just lost something you don't want to enjoy it but that's what's happening enjoy it right

kinnear can you hear her
it last night he was talking to a couple of friends of her on the phone it would have married americans you're doing some talking to a bottle the same time and upon
okay yeah i'm married couple on the phone
lot
what age
mean
when
can hear drought ah can watch the drugs the boy gloucester son to drugs
i have
great mother
now
i'm only
from
in providing
every down
and now the north
and
father
bilic big mother earth
and every having a hard time when he has fun read
and
now
oh
now what i am
and that he wanted living breathing

that
like i can relate to your like
related worth off
and
what i know it with
read that right
read come here
that will be regretting
by whatever i know
have a pet
hey
my automatic going the reason it feel like when mother
right
i'm talking to them i i also happen i have a different way
how
thank you
i didn't know
if you're not a your it
helpful

i feel
the
what help the father one way to help the others helped the father feel how bad he feels
help you find what the fullness of that of his pain is not to go too far and have to go to short but support him to feel that pain don't don't distract him from it don't take his face in it but just help him like settle into the fullness of his pain
with the passing of his son
so help him settle into the fullness of the pain of is unresolved relationship with his son to
and he may you may want to say this to him you may want want to say to him but in fact if he can settle into the pain of the unresolved quality of his relationship with his son that's part of resolving the relationship with this man
sometimes we think you know
my relationship with my son's unresolved but tomorrow resolve it or next week or resulted you know
when i was a kid i i like that the i liked the jazz pianist mose allison
and if he ever came to my hometown are making big effort to go see him to listen to him
now i moved to san francisco lived down the block from den center you know to visit is the jazz before he used to work i never went to see him
yeah because i can go into my want right
so i do next week day after tomorrow panther their day after tomorrow