Way-Seeking Mind

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and down
so you can make a long story short we get three dodge and that one finger towards your big project for richard and everybody else so bear with the green gulch touch a horror
the city center and corner grocery
the the cafe the bakery
as the print shop
no can i am a liar
nectarines yet but eventually grades
now anyway
so
do it reaches empire is getting bigger and bigger
and the students were working the idea of the students working in the businesses was not a bad idea
basically but the problem is that we're supposed to be working and that they work with
the their support and should they could practice and everything would be working harmoniously for everyone but i didn't we got that way
han people are beginning to feel exploited and they weren't really been able to fit or practice newer working long hours and the bakery other the bakery and so so
and richard was traveling around to russia and not kinds of places and he knew all the people in the world that were the first in there and we're com
ah line of work to the best in the world and lot of work
anyway
so
the empire rich are getting more and more
add more and more plants in in the pipeline and
but everything is going to can top heavy and jin center
and latter students and people have faith in him but there was some doubt a bit
but and were were just going and people which really exploited and show with some tensions and then richard had an affair with i wanted his colleagues wife and that was the straw that broke the camel's back and then the whole thing came tumbling down here
the short version don't think came tumbling down
and am
hi everyone was disillusioned
enrich it has been forced to leave and jensen who went into mourning
for about five years
and everybody has a and cannot believe the am
ah
the kind of misery here buddy was in because they don't take their lives on the thing and just you know they felt betrayed most people some people followed richard you know the people who were oh
only we're dedicated to richard where the most people that were the most vulnerable can destroyed by that
and
ah but some people word and devote a design center and naked manage it easier for anyway green gulch was in kind of a chaotic
period tassajara survived by because of the schedule
to schedule just kept doing in very short with they felt but they are we to judge and well mostly i did but there was a lot of energy and and because
those people who felt that they were following the rules mosquito because i was exposed to go is supposed to do but still had some doubt they became an artist's why do we have to do this and and have got it as a vanilla you know so we were just going to living here living at penn street living a greener but
the practice was very iffy and gently that with a pastry was like a gin hotel
the the those people were not city indigent though they were shooting in the hallway
so category
was big with i became abbot for one year is a kind of interim measure to hold things together
then rub became of after that
and then a peep the board shelter a red needed some support
a hit in the form of a abbott
because each other disingenuous to too much for this one person to deal with
so they asked me to be however for before i go on with that i wouldn't talk about a diamond transmission
you know all the cigarette is priests
because what a dharma transmission from suzuki roshi but he was too sick to be able to to do that for his
the pp people here again so the only person here in durham and transmission to is richard
and then when he died when he had started giving damage as mission to build on it's not in sonoma and but he died before i get very far into that and so
a nobel course expected jumped show expected
dead
richard would complete that for him and in
that he would
complete junichero message transmission for security his disciples i didn't do that
i'm sure he held that damage as mission is a kind of
ah little power trip for a long time
yeah so sick he or she gave damage as mission to dig and then he died
and they became the avid and
tri-valley the game damage transmission to rim
and then he had asked me
to work with him by dharma transmission
so i was working with richard on dharma transmission i thought this is wonderful because we don't like each other particularly and so this ah
for him to do that too good to me
because it wasn't well everything at richard did was manipulated but
in short order to me
it felt like there was something real happening but then that's when he took with an we rent in that he fell
and show everybody is so it really pissed off at him you know they were just really against them and i was actually defending him i was because i had
reconcile myself to him and i reckon myself failed myself to who he was and when he was about and at the same time and
ha i accepted
my role as working with him
so
but at some point he felt that i wasn't defending him enough
and joan i'm not sure we should go through a is and so that would my out i should find
when later inches i didn't really mean that
but
then
so bill kong ralph
during all this time when richard was reversed
abbott
bill kinase to should visit by jimmy roshi in los angeles museum euro she was very kind to bill and i because he saw that the problem and i know he was always very sympathetic to us so when time we were there and no changes in my submission you know which
you should give bill damage if you should complete a gorgeous diamond transmission rebuilt
so right and they're called up a widow in japan and he said
he explained the situation should why don't you get a picture build em and complete circular shadow image transmission rebuild and she should okay so bill went to japan and get damaged transmission from political security sun which ensures the hiroshige lineage
what you with that
no for after a brief so much before this was during that time
during during a richards rain
and
after it was
in the seventies contact seventy issue
and then
a
when i quit
my relationship with richard and he left in the andhra than a hurry to agreed to complete the transmission with me
that which and eighty four so i went to japan and eighty four and a dharma transmission with a hurry to
so then i came back and nineteen eighty
for
that same year
the i guess so
i became abbot a chance at berkeley
so although i've been in berkeley resident
developing the agenda since
sixty seven it was until eighty four that
i became abbot and then i became i was a short okay but saying is that was a teacher
and then we opened it up more and present on
ah so
in an eighty eight
that's when
i became abbot and sensitive
go avid went rib at zen center
and
so from eighty eight to ninety seven
however
the abbots terms of four years with a three year
extension
but after the my seven years
because were making transitions rib snatched up being added two years before that
and so norman know blanche became abbot
when rep on a step down and then offer
well read branch ever before norman
they were collapsing

for we didn't really have she didn't we did over that because there were three of us
there are three of us are evident the same time branch norman myself
so ah
should they want to be extended for another two years extend my stay for another two years in order to overlap blanche and norman
but it was not a good idea it's like when you elect a president and united states you don't have no president funding ran for two years right
and i would have been a good idea
it
but it didn't work in this case very well
the bomb
joe
i took a sabbatical in the last year
and so i was abit for in of nine years it's engineered and showing i will
the practice created page street so do a practice period and ahora i do a practice great green gulch and and in berkeley can i go home once in awhile and to sleep
and when i think about their nine years of how it didn't i would like your circuit or bride or something just making the rounds one time i had three practice periods going to the same time
for three shooters
and they were getting pissed off at me because i wasn't around for much
but i'll never do that again
ray-ban i get along with elizabeth calamity he says he didn't want it but we did
have we really didn't we had to agree on everything we we made expect that we would that we will not do something that we didn't both agree on and we'd always tell each other but we're gonna do or ask each other work it out whatever and one of us didn't do
a below and would come down on the other one
so that worked well they really worked well i really appreciate that he has ribbon i have was kind of jensen and destiny
together in which we we realize that way back there in the sixty somewhere that remember is talking about it you know it how did we were so different from each other and yet we had this destiny with each other and we we should we really needed to know pay attention to that
even though we both have different ideas not so much idea which is are different ways of doing things actually but have similar ideas about practice
but it's our way of
temperaments and our way of doing things for very different
so i'm
ha
gonna say something

maybe
she
maybe you could ask some questions
is your art
when your decks are there you know i didn't compare it does not true and it just not true
you know i won't take it back because because it was robin miller who can turn dig in
the i've been lucky in love ephesians to be doing
no i don't know what happened between them stripped down and people said he people say the rim and over again damage and disruption movie to that he got from dick
if they were done here nine seven roshi will help them
how much
a world away to when he was very young
suzuki roshi actually shoot salute you know she when he
hey
after he was here and in the sixties he went back to
renzo in and told him that he was resigning because he was going to stay here and which became the abbot and game damage transmission
and so did not like that at all
getting all this responsibility is a young man can feel like his father's going to dumping olives on him
and so he was very resentful of gin center and that his father the whole thing when i went to japan i had to work things out with him about zen center and
his father was wonderful but it was very he was
glow attention
so we're relationship has grown already been a long period of time
ah and it's it's been quite a wonderful
development relationship
did you talk about what happened if you are
well you know my art and when i was
and as a painter
when you get inspiration you paint and then we don't have inspiration you don't do anything and so that as long periods of that are kind of shallow you know going against wandering around and miss your own know
so wrote but when i get to jensen and i hadn't been painting for a while
and i had all these paintings stored in my house and when i left the house the new person is new people came and election in the pan-asian i lived them on my paintings is it okay that's great you know it just so happy to have all these paintings and that was it
i just left them are behind
and i never painted again
some people think that's not so nice but i think it's ok
like
transmission later
that's what are you have how did you feel getting economic as
it was
well it's not that it's not uncommon
in superior your she shed
ah i will i will not have time
to give know
diamond transmission or teacher doesn't know it's time to give diamond transmits darling and student and that his students students
our his students will give damage as mission to their dharma brothers so they're not they're teacher either but have relationship
and so you know there three
steps what his ordination
chew so and dharma transmission and actors can all three can be the same person the same teacher or they cannot be three different teachers
for two different teachers and it's very common for the be all three yeah
three different teachers so you may have been you know route relationship with the teacher and then have diamond him like i had three different teachers she's like you know she was a in the ordination and then got me was my she saw teacher and we show my damage
transmission teacher
so it's true that we didn't have much a relationship but we were related
through suzuki roshi and the his net in the time that we spend doing the diamond transmissions which was about a month
i realized you know we had to to get to the bottom of are we were with each other and that's what we did
and then everything went very very well so it's not so much a matter of time necessarily but it's a matter
intimacy
well what is the most difficult part of his own practice
what was the most difficult part of my practice

bend my legs
you know
when i was sitting with music erosion the idea was you don't move
so what i said i went through a lot of staff for how difficult it is because we didn't move
it's not like today can be
a lot of people she wanted just okay it's just you know
they don't get this
idea that next possible even though it's okay to mom to be removed but that but you don't want to move
so ah
that puts you in a position where you have to
and you have to find out how to medco
in french to let go
the forest should die and the cushion
otherwise it's just you know
i'm spending time with the cushion changing and position
so
well that was the hardest part for me
but also getting up in the morning
but it has been a night person
and then i changed to a morning person
and i've never wanted

no
i really don't miss penny sometimes you have you know
see something you know they gonna that were being great the image repainting know
but i don't know just go on to something else
and in know that occurs to me but i don't miss it
and yet rather i like my life
i like my life as as sandstone
what is as we say was
ha so we say in japan when someone gets dharma transmission they go to the head temples are so changing in are hedging the to your temples and that do a
ceremony constantly say which basically is
leading a morning service in visiting the
founders the so i teach 'em how nicely and they giving it is nice guy seeking mural meal listening and
the santucci only were these red slippers and have a read okay said and take your picture
this it's nice i'm running an agenda because a lot attempt to go to the founders temple and this ceremony you know but i can't tell you how difficult that was to get there
because japanese
tradition
a sterling in well as
and that story about manzano magazine was this sixteenth century seventeenth century and he learned to change they diamond transmission
the damage transmission was done
in the temples there was a temple system in a teacher system and they were getting mixed up so he wanted to set it straight in order to do that and the government had to okay there's and if you change something
if you want to if you make us ever to change something in japanese law
he get executed
if it doesn't turn out right
really so that doesn't happen anymore but that family and still there the tradition is still there that he jumped don't change things so in order for us to do something in japan
they'd have to change the rules
this is where we were working on not from mars that i haven't changed any the rules and so we can never fully and will never do anything with them see much again
bad
i managed where we had to do is fake fish you know if you have to have a picture of your head chagrin so we have the fuck are hedging photograph with several herds him
and then we had to fake you know like the fact that we had done a practice paid in japan and terms of in and it's a known as they noted they know that you're shaking hell is going just
that's the only about a week 'em burn in japan
cause they were not change the rules they weren't bend the rules or anybody so drain room difficult
you not worry about
les practice
i think it will pass your time budget interesting development law practice well berkeley
the battle for our practice and berkeley is sucking you know she's model and psychology
so product is kind of bypass page street
and and used the just the psychology bottle to everybody living at home except for it would we do have residents ten residents are so the or ten residents depending on to time but
mostly it's lay people who come to signs in every morning you know twenty twenty five thirty people and afternoon no two different sagas morning so i'm going to afternoon saga and show that the practice is good for a lay practice and that that's
i feel very vital kind of breaks but it's also prince practice we also a priest who do the same practice so it's we call it lay practice but
it's just people practicing
and a lot of vitality and the practice of people to gloated for years and years to practice
right
so in origin
and
i'm i'm i'm i'm both preach practice really practice like you're both so you know like monastic practice and temple practice i like those boats when i go back and forth in a broader than a fine you know i don't have this kind of discrepancy between labor practice from princeton
yeah there's and temple practice and monastic pregnant it's all good on that and so
when i was evident in page street but the way it worked out when robin i became cohabits
we said well we wouldn't have any particular place each one of us would be pranks equally belittling but as as it turned out rib ramp burritos and i grabbed the city or i was left with the city
as which was fine with me
and this
in addition
i tried to cultivate lay practice there but it was so hard because the way richards richards way of practice
what's really hard to modify
it
rich's way of practice was not as if you know usually a practicing
and so that's why i had this kind of difficulty because i really wanted to maintain suzuki roshi practice rounds metres practice
so that's what i've been doing a feel i've been doing
how would he not now and he
you say regrets about or unfulfilled
are your relationship with city vs yes i wish that i could have you know he said he said we learn tell mil that he should be visiting mutual won't see me more
and so she said cigarette says you should be safe
but i i should they actually are the way a lot of people feel i felt
he's so busy i don't want to bother him
but fact is that the teachers going to be bothered
you have to bother to the teachers don't don't fit you should never feel lonely so busy see so many people you know
i don't want to bother him
you shouldn't think that way you should just use the teacher up
richard was
yes i think
one of his students and was also one of my students
send me when one time you know he just doesn't karma
transparent carbon neutral program
and i believe it may cause how can i buy to be like it without
enemies i'm like what about karma
it's kind of mystery actually
the belgian yeah
his first year three teacher died and thirty four years ago so
one
i'm afraid of and happened inside out
new
when i'm going to make money
the cellar design and buggery i had man with my path was
and nothing was going to blow me i already made up my mind bad
and someone of nothing no kind of ambivalence or doubt or anything i did and since if you know she was my teacher so i was always in contact with him even when he was in san francisco and i was in berkeley i felt like we were totally connected
so another
as a i felt that someday he's gonna by and i'm gonna be by myself so i'm just preparing for that
a very preparing for that
testing
usually a right understand
teacher
no or years
the asked as said my understanding against his understanding
oh sometimes but sometimes of a new one in another teacher you know need to know that there's no one attention than a it would give me something else to condition that much as i can actually win anyway
so i just so i shouted i was money diamond i was always been of with is changing and
thanks for the distinction
financially i've always maintained or try to maintain just being faithful to is changing
and
one child it's like
you know you may change something and some and a big bang newsletter that and actually unfolds in you are charging you

how jesus so fingers
well attain how does jedi isn't triggering a miller
when i became a know
i shot them when i try to judaism no knowledge in my early twenties and just but i realized that i could not return to that because i've been out to learn
i've been i've been out of the world and it's promoting the terrain to kind of become to go back and be jewish going to go forward or whatever
i'm
i've had a beverage to exclusive
shut the made
religious
outlook was more universal
rather than tribal
and i felt that
i was a i never sugar i wasn't jewish or wasn't so that when i was doing was my own way of being jewish or punish practicing judaism which wouldn't shut down within your system idea but it was my show completely justified in that and then
i was showering whenever i was wrong judaism and then just
jewishness
i think the urban people
take jewishness for judaism
jewishness means you know like all of them
training holidays and you know
which which i never had any of that and and so i don't have to put the stick that i mean
not really appreciated
i am sure that they found a bangor asked include myself
and and
buddhism it was not in conflict with judaism and its route
my buddhism as my practice it was are my judaism
sure
and i was allowed you know did they had kind of has scenic background to informed by buddhism
what then is there said it is there
no
oh yeah well you know i was like kid and some kids
damn
when my first wife she never wanted to have a connection was managed and children at all
anna
an absolutely no interest in children and that was kind of disappointing to me because i felt really going to be going to have a kid and sir
but i never never trying to have having children's lives we just sex for fun
and then it kid happened you know when i was fifty three
when i think i'm pregnant so
there was trying you know great and so ah
i am i concerned knows i would carry him around during the day and and then
i have a running a jam actually the first five years
but then we are too involved when he was french it was totally different because we will watch from the community
when their community you know you just taken care of by everybody and by where we are duration of community and we just earth you know and then he had to go to kinda guy i'm going to go to school and others and he hated school and he hated didn't like doing all that stuff and homework was just like
in a pulling teeth that we a revenue inhabitants you no arguments because she wanted him do his homework you know an idiot as total line on and i just wanted him to have fun
you know really and truly over kind of kid who like orange had a project you know orange interested in changing and single-minded like you would get a project and it we just go wrong and nothing else in the world mattered now you couldn't see anything on either side each chef going you're doing and
he do this for a long time and then switch to something else they as kids do that and he's teaching himself he's educating himself just leave moron you know but that's not the way education is todd know and you can have to open the head and pour the stuff in
and of course some of that is good but
so i do and i even talked to you going to the teacher you know is that why do you give these kids so much homework you know they they go to school all day they will come home and then they have do their homework and there's no time to play when i was a kid i was always out and a vacant lot throwing dirt clods you know
it was grade and he hadn't contact with the ground and with an interaction with professor kids
huh
yeah i never i never did have much
interested higher education
when because the lord
so anyway but the the interesting thing is is it he quit school in the tenth grade
and he rode his bike across the country with a com
protein
prouty they rode their bikes across the country is a sixteen submitted that seventeen and that was great experience and then when he finally went to cut to junior college he had to make a bottle it does two years he
that he missed but he did an elysian davis studying russian
he's smart
kennedy's get good grades and ocean and teacher like zealand so he's actually doing quite well he's actually doing quite well and you know when he went to live by himself when he was going to junior college and when he came home he totally changed it just you know who could
wait to get out and get away from us you know and all is now and then he came back and it just could not get enough of us
so
that there was a great reward for all the years of misery

terrorists etc
perez or errors
okay
or how we do well that's a good christian
it's really a good question
good christian
a war i'm not sure i know how to incident but there are this there's a change and we can feel this change you know
i know when suzuki or when suzuki roshi was around
we had our formal practice but we never felt that it was formal
minerva incipio as she was not real formal with us at all
where you know it
that it could we bow and we do all the things that we do with the zendo but it wasn't that strict and it wasn't so detailed
and
we
who we didn't see him always docusign we do if you want to say to talk to him we just sit and talk
and
doxa happened in
sushi and usually but not always
and sometimes they have at other times but when did mm predict didn't like japanese formality he didn't like japanese things that are but when he became avid he became totally japanese
and and it
the practice became much more formal and much more strict in certain ways and silver you know whether that was good or not i don't know but
then when ribbon i were airbeds it wasn't you know we kind of loosened that up a little bit of ribs always been more detailed
it for more than a than me
i think i'm more like
following more like suzuki or his way and reb his navy following dicks way or something but
so every time there's a change and embassy the feeling changes you know whoever is abbott
creates a certain field and then come and it's different always different so it's different than you know then it was when i was at it but it's subtle it's as if you mean it's a subtle difference is not some big difference so they are subtle differences and
maybe just some idea that
it's more
horizontal the leadership is more horizontal and not so vertigo
like maybe the average don't have as much
authorities a used to hear dickhead absolute authority absolute authority
ah it was easy you know because when he said something everybody just did it
and then caribbean i had our own authority which is not absolute authority
it because after dig everything was put them by committee we spent years in issues difficulty committee practice
cheek and take forever to make a decision
but
the the probably does that's it's easier it's easier because that's more mature than the process has been more mature but the abbot's in the process seem to have given up some of their authority
so i think that they should take it back
it's good to have strong leadership
oh let you know a authority eight not not come real very you know authoritative people the people that that you give authority to and they take it and then they give and so you're give and take
so
the i think maybe that can be a little stronger
hello
the added i don't know how i can describe
when how it is today that a lot of students are even more and more student
and you know
give you some firsthand experiences are my interests and experience with civic she's teaching and
and it shouldn't be lost and zen center
so there's two things one is now teaching your the people that are present and the teaching of the founder so that both important and the teaching of the people that are present
has its the
variations
the a minute look like the teaching of the founder but basically it is
madam
i think to keep that alive is important to people don't
go astray or
am
and it the things that are most important should be preserved not preserved but practiced
the basic things in practice know
what's your personal
my personal your future future
five year sentence for this is very interesting
because i'm seventy five
in july of seventy six that's only four years away from being eighty
and i just thought about that for years away to me
but amen amen so you know it is very strange
i think
i had a similar question was slightly different way of asking you feel like the have some unfinished business projects are like that if you really like the well you know
jack shoemaker know it was yet the north point present
he asked me a long time and going to write a book
so i be getting around to reading a book about it slow and that's when news of my people when i published my talks on my talks
and so those are things in our kind of internet
going on you know but it's really hard to get into it in fact i do from time to time he didn't do it but
and i always feel that i always have to add up my own things
where racism editing mostly that somebody else has done it didn't feel right to me so unfortunately i have to end but it didn't take me long to at it i can get a pretty fast
if you said you're interested in know and she's on birth and death yeah oh yeah that's right
i've been i've been planning on doing it and
it's important i think that that's not really brought out much and zen center and says if he or she didn't talk much about neither actually
the only thing i heard while he talked about the waterfall nevada the waterfall and here and they're talking about
i'm dying and what that means sure i can bring those things out of and but didn't let him
ideas that are common to my on a sin diana buddhism and it's going to be no doubt
so i think it's good for everybody to think about this problem because it's the basic problem that we all have
the were going that direction
so good the frasier and and dealt you know
a and
for a long time very few people died at said center
because of the community is fairly young and people fairly healthy
doing jersey and eating confirmed mostly
and care danger themselves and we don't have it the rate of dying off the most congregations have
and now people have read the paper big are dying board take any older and like last couple years you know i've been tending to people that are dying a lot
so and it's becoming more and more you know
and the older you get the more pupils from fact and so and the and zen center becomes
older the population becomes older and so
sometimes i'll see somebody that i hadn't seen for a long time
and it's a t who that old lady it turns out to be somebody that i know very well
singapore a and it's kind of a shock
so we have to and
we have to know how to care about this and we have done some good idea of what it means before we can take care of it
when i when you're doing a ceremony for somebody who is meaning that you believe in that you believe in what do you know
what what did we actually think about it and how do we actually think about it is the reincarnation is there any birth is there what is it you know so that you hear about all these things but then not discussed much
so i think this should be brought out and looked at
okay
a minutes ago
he asked you set them like a name
yeah it say
have to say
wearing he really wants you can do you can only do what you can do you can have condemned
so just keep going and everything works out in the end
i've always believed that you know that everything will work out in the end
and rendering and homer
i'm so convinced of here said if you just do your practice without
one in you know he noted that something will happen and you want something to happen but i have to do is doing your practice and everything happens
everything comes to you that supposed to come to you and you don't have to you'd have to go and try to get it if you just do daily practice sincerely without the about getting anything everything that supposed to can be will arrive and you'll be very surprised
fifty percent and dimension yeah
that would establish exactly
think
bill congress is super long as high as i was life
such as well
bill was there from a bit easier but
sixty or sixteen
almost nine or ten years now
of say that pretty consistently fifty years again with savages
are you guys charging for you
you know
it is something about being with the founder that's difference in being with other teachers
i don't know what it is but it's is i
i'm
and i was on the three i've been with him three years before and only three years before i was in berkeley opening up the end right
but
it wasn't a teacher
how i didn't consider myself a teacher and
so what i practiced with suzuki roshi was humility that was that was my practice or him and i would just love to see that practice more than where people you what see that's the major practice the i didn't let myself the elder
i ran into do you know charge ahead i restrained myself because i always felt this was my the practicing humility and if i stayed in the bottom line i could just see everything works you don't have to try to get something
and the fastest way to advance in said said her
is to not try to advance
the the fastest way to get anywhere it just do it you're asked to do and do it thoroughly and do it with humility and do it with
ah sincerity and don't talk too much
the top before long people say you know sancho were didn't ask for anything just as as well just you know you
doesn't like prevalence is smart is tragic that's what this person appear that if somebody's i want this i want to design and
never get there
stop bothering us
the way it works
that always
but then it doesn't matter because you don't want anything

of course like life
why
tonight when he said to me i'm going to go to japan dick and give him damage transmission where do you think of that
and i should do you think is ready and he said well sometimes we give it when a person is ready and sometimes we give it to a person and hope
and you knew exactly where was talking about
and then i ask kind of erosion when damage and why did
take give diamond transmission to to dig and right cigarette in your damage that is it should dig went in and stole his heart
ten did

so how
the way he stole everybody charm
do it didn't orders
no and he was in there he was you know he was just
in sewage run from farms and is yeah
no and you see that energy and that willingness and eighteen he found to for her
i mean he was doing everything you know he was the he was the key person donating
and
you can't ignore that
it has a new the key person to the reason stand aside well i'm glad
to make somebody else that to can't work that way it's not easy having disciples and putting them in place is not easy
it's excruciating the difficult
he would you say something about you your the cyclists you have it's excruciating
huh
watson and people who do damage as mission to which is a lot eighteen or something or them
eighteen twenty
so i lost count and the deal woman and in issue
the

but most people capable human diamond transmission to have their own praises their their own practices like pad and you know so i feel really care about that didn't bother me i'm not worried about it you know
and
when the error i trudged out of them and there are working well now you know
but where lunch and is women's clothes like in berkeley yeah
the
the funny people who are
i'm for so long
longtime time s news and that kind of and and then
they haven't you know stuff with each other and in engineers and jealousies and then and now it'll barely and
yeah i'm trying to be gone to the other but it's raining hard and for me and say well this one and then or maybe
if it's not easy
dealing with all end

you have a prescription presents and or your kind of say that
institutionally leno
a prescription but we don't i feel like
is gone from this canada hierarchy top down
total of change the model to us as a caravan
addict
radical democracy that a more democratic forms we you see a certain model that that that works
well i think gum
jensen is a kind of a school
in a way but it's not an academic school i hope since and an era transit or an academic school they'll be terrible but it's where people they pass through
and hopefully we turn out teachers food
you know go in go someplace the hard part about zen center is that
you know there are people who are good teachers and can she go someplace the problem is in that we always need them here
because of the many students you have more since you need more teachers and so
the dilemma of should they stay here and should they go what away i think miss should go away because that gives you an opportunity for other people who i don't think our teachers to come up be teachers
the problem is one problem is that
you know the only again too long a bit center everyone else looks like a child
so people can brassy retainers mr begin them as children
just like you usa you know is true and oh they've only been practicing for twenty years
so that's it that's a problem i think that way i think she's so injury prone if you pretend years and i think they've only been around for a little while
but
we actually hit people who are responsibilities
and actually get people responsibility when they're young that energizes them is good and they come up to i've always found it when you guess not everybody but most people responsibility even though you have doubts they almost always come up to the route to the rich
sponge ability and
it works
insulate of
we find them okay
you gave another one more question
the a wrap up
the using this yes
said i'm was written
law
really you know
and the surface how we doing were kind to us
i was a rebel kong and a guy who was japanese priest who actually started practicing with me
and i ended up
in japan
but i'm so we'd have these conversations with who we do
now and kinds of things you know in talk about and then sometimes you will come around to talking about his father and then he would you know again kind of answered and and because we were drinking know
sergei and sell enough so you get loosened up and going to go and see it listened up then he would start talking about our you know in front of their kind of an abandoned him in the temple and went out to america and and a zen center is just you know about and and
richard baker who is better than a
and
hey guys anyway you know so we just had to kind of work through
you know we had to be who we were and he was here he was and we just kind of
who are very open and honest with each other
and lot of my ruler he came to see that we were school rubber instead of his with is ideal we were he had to get everyone's eye dog well i was in see who i was in my idea of who i thought he was in see you and he was and in that process when he saw in which a locally in return
search for an inquiry with a gigantic early i haven't done a thing
because it was
ah
hum
one adults to about it
i wouldn't they be connected show
and there's a time data and transmission ceremony which was a aren't japanese you know it i couldn't understand a word of it but he just kind directed me
when he netted him and his face was suzuki roshi she says
the i was just totally startled
and you start liking with his channel
so
another that was the was
i didn't have any doubt about
this thing you know what bombers getting down transmission in japan
love and russian who was not close to wrestling in which are doing as a fantasy version versions he was the like the expert in the am
and and monastic training and an indonesian the present day experiment donated and had the body rationing come over and help him do the damage as mission with blue
and more than nations no conversions transmission
through it also
and man immersion said know is it's an ancient direct transmission because you cannot get back my transmission from a dead person
so technically that so but actually it's not
sunset on
so this of course this is my father's transmission which i have done for him
no so ah
and of course it is so
but
technically it's not
because there was a time when people were dying stuff like that and dhabi and talks about that and says
in his image you
says
in complaints about this guy and getting
mine's gonna transmission you know to manage water since you can do that
sure
this is different
this is our teacher and and the different is
when the rich of being a convener of smoking she's transmission during his disciples but it's also going to transmission
so i consider how each of my country
and he has grown so much in our relationship you know he has grown so much and
this whole life has changed knowing us
so the the the relationship has enhanced the practice of of us
should be very good
and of the end

huh
what one thing this is accurate
that's what this is there's zero she said to me was well as if my disciples or quarrel with each other or quit
and is he said if my disciples choir on each other all quit and i understand completely
the