This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. This morning when my alarm went off, I was struck by some thoughts that I had while I was, before I got up, and they were things like, it's cold in here, and my back is killing me, and what is going on with this knee? What is happening with the my knee? And things like that.

[01:01]

And I thought, you know, there was this moment of hesitation which was surprising. And then I had some thought that all over the world have so much difficulty getting out of bed in the morning to face their life take care of their families go to a job that's maybe not so satisfying maybe and you get up And then after that, there was this kind of gratitude that arose for this supported life together.

[02:08]

And back to the practice of don't think, just get up, don't think, which has been a practice for many years, just don't think. The moon, as I'm sure everyone realized, and also was announced at work reading, is the closest it's been to the earth in decades, 60 years, or something like that. And without knowing that, when I looked at it, it actually hurt my eyes to look at it. It was so bright. It was... blinkingly bright. And tonight we have our full moon ceremony, our monthly full moon ceremony.

[03:11]

And I realized that that ceremony is all about vows, avowing and vowing and paying homage, you know, avowing our ancient twisted karma. And that karma board of body, speech, and mind, you know, so much of our karma is, I mean, it just comes in three flavors, body, speech, and mind, a lot, a lot of speech, and the consequences of our speech. And we vow these actions, karmic actions, and then we pay homage to Buddhas and bodhisattvas, and do many, many vows, and then take the four bodhisattva vows, and then take refuge.

[04:14]

This ceremony, as a lot of you know, predates Buddhist practice. It was wandering religious ascetics or I don't know if they were ascetics, religious people would gather the full and new moon, and the Buddha continued that kind of practice with the order of monks and nuns. So they'd be, at least before they were gathered in viharas or monasteries, they'd be out in the forest, and the new moon and the full moon would signal that it was time to gather. who got together and be part of that group had to do with who had been in alignment with the precepts that they had taken up. And what evolved was a ceremony to see, to acknowledge and admit, I haven't been following the precepts or also

[05:24]

Part of their practice was saying whether they thought one of their friends had not been fallen or possessed. So it was a chance to, in a public communal way, avow karma, avow actions of body, speech, and mind from greed, hate, and delusion. And then once that practice had happened, then they were all together again as... on the same page, you might say. And eventually the laity came and listened to teachings too. So the full moon and new moon ceremonies were reciting precepts, avowing karma, giving teachings. So our full moon ceremony is a brief version. Riyaku Fusats is the brief version of that. where we all individually avow our karma, we don't communally bring up other people's practice.

[06:35]

In the lay ordination, after the vowing karma, right before receiving the precepts, there's all my ancient twisted karma is, recited, and then the preceptor says, you have been freed from great hate and delusion. By vowing your karma in this way, with sincerity, you have been freed. In that moment, while avowing, you have been freed. from greed, hate, and delusion, and are a child of the Buddha, not the Buddha, are a child of Buddha. And there's some mystery there. You might say, but then right away, something that arose from greed, hate, and delusion arose in my mind, so how can I be free from greed, hate, and delusion?

[07:54]

what it says and I think in that moment which is timeless that is how it is so the nature of vows is a very kind of a strong part of language a vow. The definition is an earnest promise or pledge that binds one to perform a specific act. That's a dictionary version. But I think these vows the vows that we offer, that we come to instead of binding, it's more free us, free us from, or free us into awakened mind, whether we understand it exactly or not.

[09:16]

So I know that there's difficulties people have in receiving precepts or even imagining because it feels like I can't make a promise or bind myself to these things because I can't follow through. I know I can't follow through. So why say something that will be a promise I can't keep? This is for each of us to be turning, you know. Is that how we're thinking? What a vow? What is a vow? It's said that Buddhas appear in this world, this is Loda Sutra, Buddhas appear in this world for one, just one, for just one reason. And that's the vow to help beings, to help sentient beings to realize the same

[10:26]

awakening as the Buddha, equal to, the Buddha says in the Lotus Sutra, you know, equal to my awakening is what I vow to help beings, all beings, all sentient beings, to enter this. And that is why it says Buddhas appear in the world. There's no other... and conditions for Buddhists to appear in the world. So tonight, you know, the version of the precepts that we chant tonight is different than what we usually do in Bodhisattva initiation ceremony, in that we usually say a disciple of Buddha does not kill.

[11:31]

But in this version that we're doing here, which is Dogen's version, we say, you know, I vow not to kill. You know, we actually... And what we just chanted, by the way, right before the lecture, eihei koso hotsu ganmon, is the vows of the high priest, eihei koso hotsu ganmon, Dogen. That's Dogen's vows, but we've, instead of I vow with all sentient beings, we've changed for our chant. We vow with all sentient beings from this day on to hear the true Dharma, that upon hearing it, no doubt will arise in us, nor will that, it's a very long vow there, right at the beginning. In that chat we say we vow with all sentient beings to hear and to turn away from worldly affairs and maintain Buddhist truth.

[12:43]

These are weighty, you know, words that we, many of us, I noticed, All those by heart, you know, by just chanting over and over before a lecture. So tonight, if you're going to be joining in, we start out after the Kokyo does the three refuges, like we do in the morning, and our call and response. Then we vow to embrace and sustain right conduct. And then the commentary afterwards, which I recite, or the Doshi recites, is Dogen's commentary on the precepts. And the commentary, it's like poetry, you know, these images, it's like, what? What's that all? What's he saying? So I try to relate to it as poetic images, images that,

[13:50]

speak to something speak to me in a deep way without me logically working out what that's actually saying around these vows they're commentary about each of the vows I vow to embrace and sustain right conduct and then it's it is the abode of the law or the truth of all Buddhas it is the source of of the law of all Buddha's right conduct. It goes so fast. I feel like we never have a chance to savor it almost or turn it, what these vows are, this kind of, and what the commentary is. I vow to embrace and sustain all good It is the teaching of Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.

[14:51]

Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi is the Samyak in that is the same Samyak as all the different, you know, right view, right intention, right speech. That's Samyak Vak, right speech. And it's translated, usually we translated it as upright, utmost right and perfect enlightenment. Anuttara is unsurpassed or utmost. Anuttara, Samyak, is right or complete. And Sambodhi is perfect enlightenment, Sambodhi. Anuttara, Samyak, Sambodhi. So sustaining all good is the teaching of the utmost right and perfect enlightenment. And the path... of one who practices it, and that which is practiced. It's kind of the beings who practice, the path that is practiced, and this enlightened way is sustaining all good.

[16:05]

I vow to embrace and sustain all beings. transcending profane and holy, and taking self and others across. So that, you know, taking others across to the other shore, you know, that's the other shore as peace, liberation, taking not just, you know, self and others across, is embracing and sustaining all beings, including ourselves. And all the way through, I vow not to kill. I vow not to take what is not given. Vowing, vowing, vowing. There's a teacher, David Brazier, some of you know him.

[17:28]

He came to a conference a couple summers ago and stayed in the building. And he wrote this book called The Feeling Buddha. And he has different chapters, right view, right intention, and right speech. He has one chapter on right speech. And I wanted to read something from this book chapter about right speech he starts out talking about the Buddha's the quality of the Buddha's speech as being powerful charismatically might say people were drawn to him people came to listen and he spoke in such a way that was clear the Buddha said he brought He wanted to bring peace to beings. So his speech created peace when he spoke and brought peace and supported peace.

[18:40]

And also quite courageous speech, you might say. The Buddha was trained as a warrior, you know, His father wanted him to be a great king, and he probably was shown all the arts of archery and war and so forth, physical prowess. So the speech can often be using those kinds of images, taking up the battle, you might say, but it's a battle with the real, you know, with the three poisons of greed, hate, delusion is where we take up the battle with the poisons and our own afflictions, the afflictions that come from the basic afflictions of our life and how we respond to them.

[19:46]

These are the klesha, the afflictions of jealousy and anger and spite and uh creating delusion and and all the permutations of each one of those are called the uh klesha avarana the the coverings avarana's coverings that cover the mind so he spoke directly to our uh where we were where we are at. So this part that I wanted to read is about This teacher connects right speech with vow, like most of the chapters about vowing.

[21:03]

Right speech is the utterance of inspiration and aspiration. So when we're inspired by a teaching, by a person, by... seeing the practice, seeing people practicing, we can be inspired by that and we are then often filled with aspiration to enter that, to practice in that way also. We aspire to it. And it's the same with bodhicitta itself. being inspired, and then aspiring to want to bring it into our lives. In Buddhism, the utterance of aspiration is called the vow. So that kind of image of being inspired, aspiring to something, and then a vow kind of

[22:20]

naturally almost comes out of that. And then he talks a little bit about how vows are out of fashion in the modern world, an unconditioned commitment or an unconditioned utterance that goes beyond weighing and calculation and how's this going to work, am I going to be able to fulfill it So I think the part about what he said, you can, I don't know if we probably have this book, but one of the parts that really hit me from what he said is that a vow is like an organizing event in a life.

[23:26]

And if you take, he said, piece of iron, just any old piece of iron, the molecules are all going different ways and cancel out themselves. But a magnet, a piece of iron that's magnetized, everything's going in one direction. And it creates a kind of force field around it. If you put iron filings, you know, by a magnet, it creates this force field. And that's what he describes as vahau, that it creates It turns our life going in the same direction, all in one direction, and kind of magnetizes and becomes powerful. I think coming back to our own personal power and our powers of communication, to have our body, speech, and mind, our actions, our views,

[24:31]

Going in one direction is powerful. It creates a powerful force field that draws other pieces of iron and magnetizes them too. A person who lives by vow has a magnetized life. The Buddha was a great magnet. Many of the most talented people of his day went to see him. And this is one reason why we still, 25 centuries later, feel his effect upon the world. So what is it to vow?

[25:44]

What kind of speech would that be? We do it. Are we doing it fully? Are we doing it consciously? Is it a kind of rote thing? How, if we took it up with full awareness, would that change our lives? Would it change our practice? Would it change all of our speech, all of our interactions, ourselves in? And many of you have taken, received bodhisattva precepts, taken bodhisattva vows. And these vows, you know, during the ceremony, it says after the completion of the vows, in the script that we have, which really comes down from Suzuki Roshi, his layordination, it says after you've completed them and the clackers go, clack.

[26:44]

kind of sealing it, then it said the way you keep precepts should be just like this. And then in the next moment, we don't know. But that moment of full sincerity and completely vowing is the arising of Bodhisattva mind, right there. Here, it unfolds right there. Suzuki Roshi has a lecture about vowing And he basically says, yes, why do we vow?

[27:47]

And he basically says we vow in order to, and this may be his particular way, English, to arise Buddha's mind. To arise Buddha's mind. That's the reason. We don't receive or vow in order to be part of the group or to... That because we should, I guess we should, we do it to arise Bodhi Buddha's mind, to arise Buddha's mind, which happens right then. The way we keep precepts should be just like this. And of course the Bodhisattva vows, the four vows, are impossible, right? They're impossible grammatically. and they're impossible just within the words themselves.

[28:51]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them or liberate them. But they're numberless. But I vow. So it's not a promise or pledge that we know can be accomplished and that we're going to fail that. It's the mind that takes that up. And the quality of endless continuous practice, practice without end, because beings are numberless and because I vow to save them, liberate them. So there's no end. There's no end to the Buddha's way. There's no end to this path. There's no end to our effort. So we can relax. There's no end.

[29:54]

I think when we get caught up with but I'm going to break them or I can't do it or it's impossible the kind of spirit bodhisattva spirit, and this magnetized power of taking up a vow, making a vow, can get lost in, well, I'll try to do it if conditions are right then, or somehow qualify it, modify it, so that it's within some boundaries that we can imagine Well, I could do that. But the vow is, it kind of breaks all that open. It blasts that open to something beyond our small line, really, to understand.

[31:04]

we can be encouraged to practice forever. If we're sitting or practicing in order to attain something that's just right around the corner, if we just were more concentrated, if we just could, I don't know, if we were just younger, if we could just try harder, that in itself, as I say it, it feels discouraging. It feels depleting, kind of not a rising mind, but a kind of sinking mind. And it has the same quality as lots of things, worldly affairs, really. So the language of the vow,

[32:11]

There's no room for gaining something because it's unattainable. And that spirit, that arising of the Buddhist spirit is what can be out, is what arises, is what can be lived out. Also in the bodhisattva initiation ceremony it says, you know, over and over again the ordinands are asked many, many times, you continue this truthful practice, you know, the practice of taking refuge, the practice of the three pure precepts, the practice of the ten grave precepts, the practice of confession and repentance, avowing karma, and they're asked, you know, will you continue that even after

[33:40]

realizing Buddhahood, will you continue this truthful practice that I am now passing to you? And the Org-Land say, yes, I will. Three times, yes, I will, yes, I will. That kind of spirit, yes. Whether I can or not, I don't know. I'm not thinking about that. Just yes, I will. That coming from A full body yes. Yes to our life. Yes to our inconceivable life. And then in the next moment we find we're not observing the precept. And then we avow our karma. And then we, yes I will. There's some kind of charged

[34:41]

quality of life I feel there. That's not dependent on, ooh, I did it right. I was able to do it just like I was supposed to literally. I think our precepts are so much bigger than that, although literally is great too. But we also break them literally and uphold them, not literally, Yes, I will. The marriage ceremony that we have at Sat Center includes precepts. The Buddhist ceremony includes the 16 bodhisattva precepts. And kind of after receiving precepts, then there's a, you know, a vow to live be lived with another person.

[35:45]

Yes, I will. Just that spirit, yes, I will. We don't, you know, to say, oh, I'll try, we'll really try, we'll give it the gung-ho try, is already depleted of power, you know. Yes, I will. And when I, when Steve and I got married, I was not used to wearing a ring in the zendo, you know, no jewelry, and it would click against the oreo people, so I wasn't wearing it in the zendo. And then I'd come back from the zendo and be on the altar, and then I'd have Steve put it on my finger again, and I'd say, yes, I will. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. In this Suzuki Roshi lecture when he's talking about vowing, he several times hit the podium.

[36:49]

Whoops, it made a bigger sound than that. Probably it was, you know, just do it, just do it, you know. And I'm sure, and it's, you know, you can read in the different lectures where, you know, people say, but I can't say it, Roshi, I can't say I'm going to vow that because I can't, Promise that, you know. Just do it. Forget all about that. Just do it. Live your life. Jump off under football, he says. You know, this kind of spirit, this very, you know, this magnetized iron, this, you know, affected me, you know, creates a force field just the way we're affected by people who are completely doing what they need to do and want to do in this life. And going in one, they're in one direction. There's energies. And we're attracted to that, right?

[37:52]

Who are we attracted to? It's not dependent on some beauty or kind of worldly. It's what we're really attracted to is someone who clearly is in alignment, you know, in that. image of the magnetized the magnet was helpful for me so Part of our right speech, what I'd like us to turn over is where vow, where the place of vow is in our life. This is how Buddhists appear in the world.

[38:55]

And, you know, the teaching is most people appear in the world by karma, through the consequences of action. But the Buddha appears through vow, by living by vow. And bodhisattvas by vow. return, knowingly and willing. This holiday Zen Center's holiday card is a picture of Samatha Bhattara Bodhisattva, the great activity, the Bodhisattva of great activity, shining practice, And one of the things Samantabhadra was known for are these vows, ten great vows of Samantabhadra, which maybe I won't read these today, but they're... The turning inner part of the great activity of Samantabhadra are these vows...

[40:06]

Vowing is really... We keep coming upon it, you know. Whether we like it or not, it keeps appearing as we take up our practice. So is there anything you'd like to bring up or ask? Do you? Say it again. The Samantabhadra vows. They're not too long.

[41:13]

I can read them. There's ten. To venerate all Buddhas. To praise all Buddhas. These are vows. To practice profoundly the giving of offerings. To confess one's own misdeeds, form and formless. Confessing form... with form, which is what we do tonight, all my ancient twisted karma. And then the formless confession is sitting zazen. To rejoice in the happiness of others. To request Buddhas to teach. To request Buddhas to remain in the world.

[42:14]

Request that the Dharma will be turned. Oh, that's requesting Buddhists to teach. Another translation is that the Dharma will be turned. To always follow the Dharma in order to teach it, to study the Dharma in order to teach it. To benefit all living beings, all beings. And to transfer one's merit to others. Those are the ten of Samantabhadra's great vows. And I think these vows, you know, they're woven into our daily practice, transferring all merit, you know, after the end of every chant, every service, we don't keep that positive energy. We give it, we transfer it to... All beings in the ten directions, that's, we don't keep it for ourselves, we let it go and give it away.

[43:25]

Repenting, giving of offerings, making offerings, praising, you know, the homages tonight, and when we do the homages for mealtimes, these are paying homage, you know, venerating, praising. So I think these vows of Samantabhadra are really part of our daily practice. But maybe not so consciously, you know, to look at them as a list, make them more conscious. Except in order to be beneficial for everybody, it sounds like a very individual decision. For example, if I decide it's beneficial to say that, this is my decision as individual.

[44:39]

How good deciding is beneficial or not. So was the first part of what you said deciding to take or receive precepts as an individual... No, breaking it. Oh, breaking it. If you have to break it in order to be beneficial. Yes, yes. So the person doing that is an individual decision for that person, right? Yes, yes. So I think we have to do the best We can't. We see a situation as best as we can understand it in our circle of water, you know, as far as our eye can see. We see that suffering will follow or benefit will follow as far as we can tell. That's all we can do, actually, until Anuttara Samyaksam Bodhi, in which case...

[45:47]

The klesha avarana, the coverings of afflictions are gone, of anger and jealousy and ulterior motives for why you might do that. And also the thought coverings, the nyeya avarana, are also gone in anutta samyaksambodhi. And the thought coverings have to do with the misunderstanding of what the self is. And that no longer... you know, self and other is seen for what it is. So we, another way of saying, yeah, avarana is the coverings or the obstructions to omniscience have been removed. And this is, anuttara samyak sambodhi is a Buddha's, is Buddha's utmost right and perfect enlightenment. So in that case, what the teaching says is that Buddha, doesn't, you know, can see the benefit truly.

[46:51]

But we often have obstructions in our understanding and in our, where we might be clinging to something or a blind spot, but we do our best. But there's shadow, you know, and every moment there's shadow. We have to, we can fool ourselves too, that, oh, this is for their benefit. maybe there's something in it for us, for our gain that we haven't looked at. I did want to say something. I thought you had said an individual decides to receive the precepts, but you said break. But I had wanted to say, you know, that I think there is a goodly amount of trust that becomes built up through our lives in order to leap off that hundred foot pole.

[47:54]

There has to be some modicum of trust. Maybe that's not the word. There has to be some trust there to be able to, yes, I will, because there's no guarantee. There's no, and then this will happen. You know, there has to be some trust there. And in order for trust to be, to appear, there's many, many factors at play, you know. And there may be some personal inner work that needs to be done before we can trust some deep restorative work or repair, restoration, I like better, before someone can say truly, yes, I will. So I just wanted to mention that, and that yes, I will can be life-changing.

[49:03]

And, you know, just thinking personally, I think the yes, I will came after feeling, after Sensing or knowing that I was completely accepted. Enough to say, yes, I will. To have that trust. Laura? Was Greg first? I saw you first, but Greg, go ahead. The first that we chant Over and over again, all my ancient mystic karma comes from deva-susama-ta-pagya. Oh, does it? Yeah, I heard it. The list, I mean, you read the text in brief. But the verse, anyway, the one right after it is the mirror of that.

[50:04]

In other words, in all that is beneficial and groovy, in that I do rejoice. You know, it's the mirror, because that magnet has a negative effect, a positive pole. So that force also, when we chant that, I like to think about, you know, in the vows of Samadhi, there's the mirror side. It's like the beneficial, and I rejoice in that. So in terms of the two sides, I avow my ancient twisted karma, and I rejoice in all the benefits. Those kind of mirrors, they go together, they inter-arge. Yes. I didn't know that. Thank you so much for telling me about where all my ancient twisted karma came from. Yeah. And I think of our sashin as one long, formless repentance and confession, you know, sitting in zazen.

[51:09]

And, you know, at the end we often feel, like it says in the Lotus Sutra, all the senses are purified, you know, our hearts are purified. Just sinning. Say it again? Yeah. Yeah. Baba Vahva, is there anything said or not? Ultimately, it does not apprehend anything because its speech is not yet correct. I was thinking about this topic of upright speech and what you hear in that way. Yeah. Baba Vahva, is there anything said or not? Ultimately, it does not apprehend anything because its speech is not yet correct.

[52:12]

This, you know, it does not apprehend anything because there is nothing to apprehend, I think is one thing we can look at. And why can't we apprehend anything? Because, or... the teaching that there is nothing outside of us to apprehend, the way we think of apprehend. It's what we see is just big blind. You know, it's just the words themselves, the referent. There is nothing that the words actually refer to that is a separate thing. So this is... So I think there's a word in Sanskrit, I think it's akara, which refers to words, these utterances, but they actually have no reference.

[53:30]

That is a separate thing. The reference is empty of all beings. So what is it actually referring to but the entire interconnected Buddha-verse in that? But it isn't a thing. I don't know if that answers what you're saying, but that's the comment. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, Visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

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