really involved for many years. The story he told of when he first came to practice, maybe you've heard me tell this before, some of you, but he was, this was in the 60s, maybe early 70s, and he was hippying around in his VW bus. going to various spiritual localities in the United States. And he went to Tassajara. He blew into Tassajara one afternoon and thought it was a groovy place, so he stuck around for a while. And I don't remember the exact circumstances. Oh, so at Tassajara, for those of you who don't know, there's this bath... bathhouse where everybody takes a bath, you know, certain times of the day. And at that time, Suzuki Roshi was the abbot and he was at Tassajara.

[01:10]

And one of the perks of being an abbot is that you get to take a bath without a lot of other people around. So you get this special bath time. It was like from 4 to 4.30 was the abbot's bath time and then from 4.30 to 5 was everybody else's. But Ed didn't know about this rule. So he goes to the baths at some point in the middle of the afternoon, and work is over, and there it is. There's only one pair of shoes there. He says, oh, great. I have most of this place to myself. He goes in. He sees Suzuki Roshi taking a bath. Wow, the Zen master. I can get to take a bath with a Zen master. Maybe some of his knowing will rub off on me, you know, in the bathtub. Zen dirt, some of his Zen dirt will get onto me, you know, and then I'll know what to do with my life, you know.

[02:14]

I don't know if he thought those things, but anyway. He thought it was pretty far out that he was going to get to take a bath. You have to know a little bit the setup at Tassajara. Usually two or three people would jump into the same bathtub. They'd wash off with soap, and then they'd go into the big plunge after they're clean. It's kind of a Japanese style. So this was in one of those smaller tubs. So he got in right next to Suzuki Roshi. And Suzuki Roshi didn't say anything. But after a couple of minutes, Suzuki Roshi got up and left. And Ed is sitting in the bathtub there. And it's dawning on him what the situation is. It's becoming more and more clear to him. what a jerk he has made of himself.

[03:20]

He's becoming more and more ashamed and embarrassed, feeling more and more ridiculous for having been so arrogant and stupid and intrusive. And then, believe it or not, Suzuki Roshi peeks his head around the door, looks at him and says, it's okay. Far out. That's really far out. Anyway, we don't know why he said that or what it was about, you know, but for the purposes of my talk today, I would say that's the parent's love. That, and actually, And actually it had the appropriate effect. Ed was able to go right straight ahead from that point. That was his turbo charge.

[04:22]

From there. That was his inspiration. Inspiration. There's one other thing that I want to read. Well, maybe, yeah, one. Which touches on some of these same topics in a different, slightly different way. And this is by Rilke. who for some reason seems to be a natural, so to speak, a natural Buddhist or something like that. I don't think he knew about Buddhism. I don't really know too much about Rilke. I don't think he knew about Buddhism formally. But you find these passages in his writing that are so strikingly, you know, virtually they could come out of the sutras, you know, or something like that.

[05:27]

A little different language, but that feeling. So this is Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet. You are so young, so much before all beginning. And I would like to beg you, dear sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart. and to try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be... Someday, far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, Live your way into the answer. Take whatever comes with great trust.

[06:30]

And as long as it comes out of some need of your innermost self, then take it upon yourself and well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be Perhaps then someday far in the future you will gradually without even noticing it live your way into the answer.

[07:44]

Take whatever comes with great trust and as long as it comes out of some need of your innermost self then take it upon yourself and don't hate anything. The point is to live everything. This is right straight ahead. This is Kadagiri Roshi's Let the Flower of Your Life Force Bloom. Right now, right here. And he says it a little bit differently. He's, you know, I was saying just stay in the questions, stay in the unknowing, live out of that place. He's saying perhaps then someday far in the future you will gradually without even noticing it live your way into the answer.

[08:52]

It's the same thing. Without even noticing it. Denoticing it is not the important part. At the end of the Sashin, back there somewhere years ago, Suzuki Roshi said, three people in this Sashin have attained enlightenment, but they don't know it. And for many years I thought, well, what good does it do then? What good is it going to do you? You don't know it. Isn't that the whole point? To know it? Yeah, I attained enlightenment back in Natsushin there in 1969. And since then I've known exactly what to do. That's this way of certainty, knowing. Three people attained enlightenment, but they don't know it.

[09:54]

who's benefiting from this that they attained, you know? Somebody. Somebody's benefiting. Oh yeah, also, and then Dogen, you know, says the exact same thing, more or less. He says, in one place, in the Denjo Koan, he says, Buddhas who are fully actualized Buddhas do not necessarily notice that they are Buddhas. Yet they are fully actualized Buddhas who go on actualizing Buddhas. That's what he meant. You don't necessarily notice it. That isn't so much the point in going right straight ahead. You don't turn around and say, hey, this right straight ahead is looking pretty good. It looks lousy. It looks terrific. It looks stinky. It's not that kind of thing. It's just going right straight ahead. As long as it comes out of some need of your innermost self.

[11:01]

How do we know what is coming? How do we know? Something that shows up on the doorstep may be the need of our innermost self. Let's not jump to conclusions. Let's not be too sure about the way our innermost self needs to go. Someday, far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. Take whatever comes with great trust. And as long as it comes out of some need of your innermost self, then take it upon yourself and don't hate anything. The point is to live everything. This is right straight ahead.

[12:05]

This is Kadagiri Roshi's Let the Flower of Your Life Force Bloom. Right now, right here. And he says it a little bit differently. I was saying just stay in the question, stay in the unknowing, live out of that place. He's saying perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. It's the same thing. Without even noticing it. Denoticing it is not the important part. At the end of the Sesshin, back there somewhere years ago, Suzuki Roshi said, three people in this Sesshin have attained enlightenment, but they don't know it.

[13:09]

For many years I thought, well, what good does it do then? What good does it do you? You don't know it. Isn't that the whole point? To know it? Yeah, I attained enlightenment back in that Sashin there in 1969. And since then I've known exactly what to do. That's this way of certainty, knowing. Three people attain enlightenment, but they don't know it. who's benefiting from this enlightenment that they attained? Somebody. Somebody's benefiting. Oh yeah, also, and then Dogen, you know, says the exact same thing, more or less. He says, in one place, in the Denjo Koan, he says, Buddhas who are fully actualized Buddhas do not necessarily notice that they are Buddhas. Yet they are fully actualized Buddhas who go on actualizing Buddhas. That's what he meant.

[14:16]

You don't necessarily notice it. That isn't so much the point in going right straight ahead. You don't turn around and say, hey, this right straight ahead is looking pretty good. It looks lousy. It looks terrific. It looks stinky. It's not that kind of thing. It's just going right straight ahead. As long as it comes out of some need of your innermost self. How do we know what is coming? How do we know? Something that shows up on the doorstep may be the need of our innermost self. Let's not jump to conclusions. Let's not be too sure about the way our innermost self needs to go. Let's have an open and ready and flexible mind to not hate anything.

[15:22]

That's why I circled three words here. Patience, trust, don't hate. That's the feeling of the That's the context in which going right straight ahead can occur. For many years when, for many years practicing, you know, I used to think of, my image used to be that enlightenment was, or something was behind this door.

[17:00]

And I was on the other side, on the outside of the door, banging on the door. That was my image. Something was enlightenment, happiness, I don't know what, you know, peace of mind. And I was on this side of the door. Let me in. Let me in. After you bang your fist for a while, then you start banging your head against the door. Then eventually your head gets bloody from banging it against the door. You get worn out. So I don't know what happened, but somehow it's a little bit, I don't quite think that same way anymore.

[18:03]

I don't worry about it so much. I'm on this side of the door. It's not so bad over here, you know. It's a lot to do, you know. A lot of nice stuff over here. The door disappears, I disappear. Attention.

[18:33]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_90.69