This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I've never seen such gorgeous iris in my life. The title of what I wanted to talk about is Understanding and Appreciation. Sometimes people start talks with scripture. So I'd honor that by saying this. I understand it in the Lankavatara Sutra.

[01:02]

it said that understanding is maybe not so important. But your lineage, that's important. So we were particularly fortunate because our founder, Suzuki, the Reverend Suzuki, who knew a great deal about practicing Buddhism and also the sutras, was really a master at presenting his appreciation and his understanding in ways that have found many, many receptive people. you know, his simplicity and his ability to hear what the American students were saying allowed him to respond in ways that I think were extraordinary.

[02:33]

So, in 1971, I was living up on the high desert in New Mexico. Somebody gave me a copy of Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. So, I had the sensation there was someone talking from inside of me. So, I was intrigued and came to San Francisco to see what that was all about. And I think I learned before I arrived that Suzuki had passed. So I got to the front door and knocked on the front door and Issan Dorsey, one of the great sages of our era, answered the door. And in those days, one of his favorite things was to run a buffer around the floors in the hall. So he would do that pretty often. people, when they come to practice, almost always lead with their strength, their confidence, or their struggle, whatever's going on.

[03:44]

Their sort of way of being. And it's daunting to join a practice community. Since I... had the opportunity to join a wild group of people early on, I felt particularly fortunate. And in those days, people felt that all we needed to do was to sit zazen, that would pretty much fix everything. We didn't hardly or maybe I should say, I hardly paid any attention to things like the precepts or the sutras. I remember an early study class where they were talking about Abhinarma, and no, that was not going to happen for me. And so I was, I think the confusion, anyway, there about zazen is the time involved.

[04:59]

I think Zazen will be transformative, but you've got to give it a number of years before what I think of is what I like to say, the shape of practice, your practice, and community practice really emerges. So Zazen is a way of seeing how you are in all situations. And it's very revealing. It reveals to you the very, almost innumerable ways that you confuse yourself or limit yourself. So everybody, or at least I thought, that the thing to do was be to understand.

[06:06]

But understanding is kind of a singular pursuit. Zazen looks singular. You know, you're wheeling away on your cushion. But it's really kind of self-contained. the magic is for me, and I think for almost all of us, the experience of sitting in community. And sitting in community is the heart of Soto practice. And in In regard to lineage, there's always been two sort of major threads of Zen practice in the US.

[07:14]

Rinzai, which they say is for warriors, and Soto, which is for farmers. And I've always been attracted to that. And it fits very well with the kind of style that Suzuki presented. Just the simplicity and the humility, the nothing special, and the encouragement to just give it time and particularly at Tassajara, we get a feeling for community and continuity that's tremendously reassuring.

[08:18]

Your body thanks you for being here. And what I've noticed over many years is much of what you absorb you don't even know you're absorbing, but it continues to unfold and continues to expand and enrich your life. But for me, of the three treasures, you know, we fixed on Suzuki as someone who was somehow encouraging while admitting that this is not easy. But Sangha really is what emerged. So I'll emphasize that is what creates possibility, you know, insight, understanding

[09:29]

Insight is... I think a misunderstanding of what goes on. I think actually what we're experiencing is hindsight. In hindsight, we all see that as you go along, you were mistaken. Things were not quite how you imagined. And you... you needed to, in my case, open up a bit. So I think as we go along we become somewhat less idealistic and more accessible.

[10:44]

And what creates that I think more than any other dynamic is the example of other people. In a way I've never been so high on the ancestors. I didn't ever meet them or I didn't know their situation. But I certainly have noticed the people that I spent time with. Not always the folks that are tasked and offer the opportunity to teach. The more I've been around, the more daunting it seems to me to have that responsibility. But in Soto practice, in our lineage, we proceed from enlightenment to practice.

[11:52]

And the enlightenment is, for whatever reason, you decided that it would be worthwhile to spend time here. And if you do give it time, you will learn what matters. One of the things that a common language in Buddhism is the word compassion, which I confess I often resist. Connection to me seems much more the dynamic. So though it's always possible, and we usually do find ways of misunderstanding practice in our own particular case, emphasizing what we already know, who knows, Zazen will eventually, with the help of our friends, make clear to us how.

[13:18]

How to proceed. So I had the great good fortune of spending time with a number of the real sages of my era. Isan was someone who was so much fun and so gifted a practitioner that they wrote a book, which was great fun, as he was. Many people thought Isan was their best friend. their best friend. Maybe, but he didn't get worked up about it. And his creativity. What I like to recall to people about Eson is a very common experience that people had

[14:22]

of encountering a person who had no judgment. It's quite unusual. You were all right with Isan. Right from the start. Another of the more wonderful... The relationships I had in the city center was Darlene Cohen. And Darlene, probably the most gifted female teacher of our time. Darlene said that when she first came to Zen Center... She thought she'd study for a few years and pick up her enlightenment and then go on and do some other things.

[15:23]

What she picked up was rheumatoid arthritis, which she ended up bed bound. And she said to me one time, well, I couldn't really make progress until I succumbed. to absolute despair. But I had the opportunity to, she brought herself back to a fair level of mobility by doing bodywork. And she wrote a book about pain and the kind of practices that she had discovered. Her spirit was really extraordinary, and we would get together from time to time, and she'd work on my big linebacker body. I didn't need any help, but in another way I did.

[16:28]

She was capable of saying anything. I've never had a person of such completely unbounded exchange. She was a gifted gossip. Completely un... How should I say? unbound by her appreciations and enthusiasms. So spending time with her was an unusually fine thing.

[17:32]

The last one I'll mention is Mitsu Suzuki. I was her Anja for a period of time, so I carried her grocery bags. And watching her operate in Japantown was quite wonderful. Every once in a while she'd invite me to join her for lunch. And she'd make something. And then we'd talk about stuff. And I remember there was on one occasion I was talking about my troubles or something. She listened for a while and then she said, Well, you know, Peter, son, I have no idea what you're talking about. And I took as a compliment. I could spend a lot of time talking about the others, but anyway, I was lucky, but probably even more fortunate because really the good news is practice is endless.

[18:39]

So that over time, even though we recite the Heart Sutra every day, we absorb it in some weird way. I don't think we understand it, but I've come to believe that that's not necessary. We do appreciate it. So I guess my fundamental good fortune revolves around the fact that I have found some ways to continue practicing. And after being within Zen Center as a resident for 15 years, I broke away and started a family and a business

[19:55]

And then after 15 years of that, at Green Gals, we were working on the Zendo renovation. And Norman was there, I think as abbot. So he was doing sashines. And it seemed quite natural to get back in step with him. And every day, every day Zen, wonderful fit for lay practice. You know, a simple configuration of study and... monthly retreats and sashins once a year. And then the time I was away, you know, I spent some well, very worthwhile time with 12-step and Glide Memorial. So what happened is that it seemed like transmission would be a good thing, though I had really no idea what I would do with it.

[21:21]

But I was ready for something. And there it was. And it turns out that sitting with other people and studying with other people is by far the most interesting thing I do. We have a study group that started about probably eight years ago now. A friend, also Tassajara alumni, and a wonderful person had brain cancer. We thought it would be great to spend time with him. But since we were spending time with him, I thought, like, well, we're here anyway. Why don't we study the Lotus Sutra? I wouldn't have necessarily thought to do anything like that on my own, but it turned out to be wonderful. Studying with other people is the most fun. I was never interested in study prior to... I mean, I read the stuff...

[22:25]

the interesting stuff. But actually spending time with sutras didn't, I had no energy for it. I basically would fall asleep. And even Shohaku, when he would come and have a Genzoe Sashin, and I really appreciated and thought he was a wonderful guy, but I could not stay awake for his very considered examination of language. Anyway, meeting with people in person, taking turns, particularly for me, Red Pine and his way of presenting things just turns out to be provocative. You know, there's energy involved. And even if the comment is, I have no idea what's going on here. That's just the beginning of the conversation. So that's been a fortunate thing. So I could spend a lot of time, probably a lot more time, and I don't know where we are on that, but talking about some of the other people that really made a big difference to me, some of them not even particularly aware that they did.

[23:36]

Because I came to San Francisco Zen Center because of the book, but I stayed because of the people. and my own appreciation as only your own. And so that also includes you all. You know, Tassajara keeps getting better in ways that really please me. bowing in at the garden shed, we read a little bit of Thich Nhat Hanh, and then we talked about it a little bit, and then at the end of the day we offered something that we were grateful for.

[24:39]

How terrific. It just seems like practice is being included in a more complete way. What we did was fine, you know. We just got to work. We might have bowed in or something. And when you work with people, that's for me always the best. So the best job I ever had at Tassajaro is building a stone wall with others. That kind of work requires a whole different pace. And it was... gratifying to watch how foolish we were trying to put it together. Initially trying to shape the stones to fit the situation rather than just finding the right stone. So that's the news.

[25:42]

Be happy to hear from anyone that's always in a class the most fun. These days I'm really not so fond of giving talks as I am, conversations that involve exchange. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[26:31]

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